Welcome to Good Mythical More. Are you looking for a way to spice up your Thanksgiving? And not with food, but with some weird activity that makes it seem like it’s even more of a holiday than it ever was? Well, you’ve come to the right place. We’re gonna rank these new Thanksgiving traditions. But first, we’re going to give a quick quarterly report on our latest endeavor. Jingle Mingle, a dating service for mall elves, Uh, it’s uh, you know what? We have a very small but dedicated, uh, user base. Yeah, I think the thing that we didn’t understand was that, um, most elves are asexual. Right. We didn’t know that. Um, they’re really focused on toy making, cookie making. But the thing is, that’s okay because you can just, I mean, you still want to spend time with people. That’s what we thought, but they’re also very isolationist. Oh. Yeah, well. You’ve been looking at different analytics than me. Elves are a hard clientele to, uh, to please. But they’re not hard. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But they’re never pleased. Yeah. That tends to be the problem. There’s nothing wrong with that. I mean, it’s like, uh, I used to be really focused on toys, too. Yeah. Yeah. Sex came a little bit late for you, too. I was an adolescent. I was a late bloomer, but I’m no longer I’ve started collecting some toys again. Okay. What kind of toys? Um, uh, wrapper action figures. I do have a — Don’t invite me over. Yeah, I do have a, well… Don’t invite me over to play with those. I’m not gonna, well, they’re not, well, you would invite me over as a kid. They’re to be displayed. To play, to play with your wrestling figures and then you wouldn’t let me touch ’em. Yeah, because you were too rough with it. I was like, they’re made of rubber and they’re made to wrestle. And you were like, no, no, they’re made to put in the ring and look at. I will say that sometimes mythical beast tweets pop up in my Twitter timeline. And, um, someone tweeted the, the photo of your action figures that are behind you on the filing cabinet and said, these are going to be fun. And I… I was like, oh. This is an ominous — For wrestling. I don’t know what they’re gonna do with them. Exactly. For wrestling! These are gonna be fun. Okay. Okay, does it, does it… Are there instructions on the back on how to remove them from your anus? My anus specifically? Yeah. That’s a new game. You know, we just launched a puzzle. But now we’re gonna launch a, it’s like operation, but it’s, it’s what emergency doctors have to do everywhere. And if you talk to any emergency doctor, you’ve talked to all of them, and all they like to talk about is, you wouldn’t believe what I pulled out of a butt this week. Right. Cause you won’t believe what you can get in a butt. Nope, and I think that’s a game. I think that’s an adult version of Operation that we need to start boxing up and selling for Black Friday. But we’re still in Thanksgiving. So it’s just a butt? And then a bunch of toys? That’s what the game is? Uh, it’s not just toys. It’s anything Anything, anything. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And the map can do the sound effects for it. Turkey hunt. We’re gonna rank all of these. This one’s starting in number one. It’s the only one we have. What would be a turkey hunt during Thanksgiving? These are actual things people are doing. No, I don’t think so. I think these are writer, writer ideas of possible tradition. So it says turkey hunt, a dad dresses up like a turkey and the kids have to chase after him in a game of tag. First kid to catch dad gets $5. Or a parent, or a parent, you know. Yep. Any parent. Guardian. Let’s just say guardian. It could be a grandparent. It could be an uncle. Let’s just say. I mean I guess, those aren’t parents. Any trusted person who’s passed a background check. You’re adult. That’s what they say. You’re adult now. Um, I don’t, there’s not, there’s not quite enough to this one. I mean, do you, do you get to carve dad? Like, then what? Or, or he could be wearing like, or they could be wearing feathers. Like, uh, like, um, what’s the football, flag football? You had to pull a feather. You pull all the feathers off of the turkey. Whoever gets the most feathers. And then when you get the last feather, he falls over and then you, you, uh. You slice him open. Then you burn him. You cook him. You cook him. You deep fry dad. I don’t know, no, does this happen before or after dinner? It could be a workout to work off the turkey. Turkey hunt. I’m not loving this one. It’s too cold in most Thanksgiving locales. I’m finding I don’t want to use my birthday gift of making you shut your pie hole yet. Yep. – You gotta make Rhett shut his pie hole. – Oh, you want me to talk more? I guess. You’re not disappointed that I won, are you? No! No, I’m very proud of you. Hide and seek the keys. Tell us about this, Stevie. The kids hide the adults keys and the adults have to find them. This sucks. I play this game already. I hate it. Well, you play it with yourself. I play this game with myself, but I always choose to play it when I need to be somewhere. Yep. And it’s very frustrating. So, do you not have a key place? I’ve solved it now. I have, I keep my keys attached… Up your butt. Up my butt. To my — It would work. Cause my key doesn’t have to go in the uh, ignition. I don’t have an ignition in my car. I just push, push to start. Oh yeah, it’s a proximity thing. So you can keep up your butt all day. Yeah. Yep. You keep your, you can keep your fob in your butt. Just, just only two times a day. Maybe three I’d need to take it out. Oh, you don’t think you can poop around it? Nope. You can probably figure out a way. That’s two times a day. That’s what I was thinking. How do you — That’s an episode. We’re gonna be selling a key — We’re gonna be selling a key fob at the Mythical store and seeing with instructions that talk about how to poop around it. I just think it… We’ve put a chain We need to put those instructions on everything we sell, I guess. The action figures. If you put this in your butt, here’s how you poop around it. Well, I think it’s Oh, that’s so bad. You bury a — That’s the worst thing I’ve ever said. Why didn’t you shut me up, Stevie? Yeah, you have the power. Keep telling her how it works. Well, I’ll give you a couple ideas for how you can poop around something. I think it has a chain. One is you just poop on one side and keep the other item on the other side. That’s not. No, no, I can poop on one side if I lay on my side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your butthole’s that big? No, it’s just called gravity. Okay, I think you should attach a, a chain to it higher up in your duodenum. And then it, then it, it’s. You swallow it and it has this chain. Right. And you, and when you poop. It’s a lip ring. You poop, you hold it. Right. You gotta tug on it a little bit. So when you poop, you’re like Why aren’t you stopping him, Stevie? He’s saying so many things. I’m giving you every opportunity to shut me up. She likes it too much. I like it. She likes it. I don’t know why. Hide and seek the keys. Yeah, we figured it out. It’s just a long chain. This is worse. This is worse than that one, because it’s not even Thanksgiving themed. Yeah, I hate that. What is Find the Lucky Porcelain Shard? Ooh. This is Find the Shard of Broken Porcelain Hidden in the Gravy. Winner gets to keep the gravy boat. Wow. That’s good. So, there’s a porcelain shard. Is it from the gravy boat or from the previous year’s gravy boat that got broken? The previous year has been clarified to me. Yeah. For this game. And I think when you win it — Maybe the previous years. I, cause I think when you win, um, you break the, the new, what’s it called? Gravy boat. And then one of those shards goes into it next year so it becomes, you know, a tradition in that way. This is a little bit like finding the dime in the Black Eyed Peas. My grandma would actually do that. The New Year’s Eve tradition. Yeah. A dime, though? She would put a dime in there. And whoever found it was gonna make a lot of money the next year? Ten cents. Yeah. Okay. Um, I like this. Yeah, cause it’s more dangerous. It’s dangerous, it’s fun. I don’t think you could poop around a glass shard. It keeps going year to year. Um, and it’s just so wild. I love it. I’m gonna put it at number two. Can you find it in your mouth? When you, how do you find it? Preferably you find it in your mouth. Does everyone get a sieve? It’s like gem mining. It’s when you’re pouring out — That’s fun! Yeah, you pour the gravy into a sieve. And then you look and you see if the shard’s in there. Yeah, I like that. So that’s safer. But then you are gonna find it. You gotta know when is it gonna plop out on somebody’s turkey. Yeah. I think that’s fine. I put gravy on stuffin too. Alright, so we’re putting that at number two. Quick reminder before we get to the next one. We dropped an amazing little sub series over on the Mythical Society to learn how to survive the apocalypse from an actual survival expert. Matter of fact, um, I wasn’t even there. So if you’re, if you’re into content that I’m not in, I was sick and um, but I, I did a killer voiceover for it. You did. Stevie and Rhett went out and learned all the aspects of, uh, apocalyptic survival. Um, throwing knives? You gotta do that? I found a new hobby. Did you get, did you buy one? Uh, I’m actually, I’m actually planning to go this weekend to get one. Nice. Is that right? You’re gonna buy a bow and arrow? Yes, I am. It’s really fun. Alright, check it out. Yeah! Hell yeah! That’s right! I don’t like it. Sorry. I just put too much in. Listen, you can’t be apologizing to the zombies. Okay, okay. You can’t be saying, I don’t like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They’re gonna sense your weakness. The next one. Butter melting contest. Hottest time we’ve ever had, by the way. And by hot, I don’t mean like sexiest time. Right. I mean, quite, it was so hot. And the thing is, is that… I was pretty cool. When you watch it. The heat never transfers. I always say that. I’m like, man, it was so hot out there. And you watch it and you’re like, oh, just like a sunny day. But you don’t know what we were going through. No, I don’t. Wasn’t there. Butter melting contest. What’s that? Everyone puts a pad of butter on their tongue. The first to melt it completely wins. That’s cool. Eh. What if you just swallow it and then say you melted it? Well, you’ll forfeit. I mean, you gotta keep the tongue out the whole time. Oh, the tongue’s out? Should I just breathe hot air on it? That seems like a third place for me. I don’t like this. I really don’t like it. You really don’t like it. Okay. We might have to move them around. And I will eat butter straight. Dish lottery. There’s one dish that is secretly decided to be the special dish, and whoever washes that dish at the end of the night gets out of cooking or washing dishes the following year. The whole year? No, at Thanksgiving. Who determines the special dish? Whoever won the previous year. But how do we start? This implies that everybody’s washing dishes It should be, you’re sticking one person with washing the dishes, right? No, eh, if everybody pitches in after Thanksgiving, it gets done so fast. So, you, you win the right to not wash the dishes. Yeah. By what? Is the special dish a dish that dissolves when the water hits it? Mm hmm, mm hmm. Or, it’s a little dish that grows into a sponge dinosaur. Oh, it’s a little dish that becomes a big dish. I’m gonna be washing all the little dishes. Everybody’s washing dishes. And somebody’s like, I just washed this dish and it turned into a dinosaur? Yeah. Is that what we’re saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It got wet and it grew. So it’s probably gonna be a pretty big dinosaur. About the size of a person, probably. How about whoever finds the porcelain shard doesn’t have to wash the dishes the next year? That’s a good prize. Two for one? Yeah. Because this, this has got some logistic challenges. Oh, now this is mixing it up. Ungratitude circle. Yep. After doing the traditional everyone go around the table and say one thing they’re grateful for, everyone goes around the table and says one thing they aren’t grateful for at all. Ha ha. Can’t it be another person there? Yeah. Yeah, it preferably is very personal. Um. Ungratitude. That’s fun. I, I mean. It’s like an improv exercise. Okay guys, we’re gonna go around and tell us one thing you’re thankful for, and you can’t repeat, but also something you’re not grateful for. I like that. Do you still do the gratitude circle? Uh, no. We lost heart. Yeah. We lost heart. I don’t think it’s a good practice to be grateful. Yeah. Gratitude’s overrated. It’s overrated. You can’t poop around it. I, you can’t poop around it. I like this one. I think that one’s in a good spot. Because it brings a little levity to the exercise, though. I like it. Oh, come on, guys. It does sound like you had a Thanksgiving in L. A. with, like, an improv group, though. Yeah. Anybody doing that? It’s just, you get a little pet peeve coming out there. I like that. What? For Friendsgiving. Speaking of Friendsgiving, what is this? Friendship rekindling. Everyone calls someone they haven’t talked to in more than 10 years. On Thanksgiving? Everybody’s at the table? On the phone? Everybody does it on the speaker. Everybody does it on the speaker at the table. That would actually be crazy. You had to call somebody you haven’t spoken to in 10 years and everyone has to do it and it has to be on speaker for everybody. I like that. This is the best idea. I like that a lot. I like that. The best idea. And let’s, let’s get everybody nice and sloshed before You gotta be completely hammered before you do it. Because that’s how you have the courage to do it. Right. And finally, we can reorder these. Hat Surprise! Names are drawn from a hat ahead of time and everyone brings a unique hat for their person to wear. Well, it sounds like a hat on a hat. It’s just hats. Okay. So you draw a name from a hat, and then that name gives you a hat that they brought. you give that person a hat, I guess. I saw an article and it was a man in a fedora and the name of the article was Why No One Is Wearing Hats Anymore. And you read it? No. It’s like I got the message. Well. Well, why? Why is no one wearing hats anymore? If they look like they did on this man. Oh, wow. Poor guy. I don’t know, but there’s still — Why are, we don’t know why — There’s not a lot of hats. I mean, I see, there’s like baseball hats. People are still wearing that, but like.. You know, hat hats. I’ve tuned it down a little. Stevie, you had a lot of hats. I went through a hat phase. Why? Why? Why are you toning it down? Um, I don’t know. I think I’ve toned my wardrobe down a little in general. I guess it’s just, I’m just going through a phase. I don’t know. Okay. Well, you’re getting older. Yeah. Because sometimes you wear a hat and it’s like, oh, that person wore a hat. You know, type of vibe. You’re tired of that. Uh, it just feels more negative than positive now. I think that’s a damn shame. Well, there’s hat appropriate events. I wore a hat to the Wonderhole premiere. Yes, you did. Because I was like, yeah. Yeah, because it might rain. It might rain. You knew it might rain. It wasn’t a rain hat. Yeah, but you’d rather have a hat than no hat if it was raining. Do we want to move Hat Surprise later? Because… I don’t like Hat Surprise. We’re not big fans of wearing hats, the two of us. So, um, to be forced to wear a hat? This has gotta go low. I still don’t understand the — I like the mechanism of not having to wash the dishes. But I just don’t — The logis — I don’t know how it’s determined. I’m not. I think it’s a little sponge plate. What if it’s… Butter melting. What if it’s whoever poops out their key first, doesn’t have to wash the dishes. Yeah. Oh, so you gotta let go of the chain. Whoever lets go of their chain. Whoever poops out. Whoever passes their chain. You gotta pass the whole chain though. That’d be tough for me. I probably got extra length in there. You poop out the fob and then you have to… You gotta do it yourself? You gotta pull the, pull the whole chain? Give it the old Bob Yank. And you gotta do it at the table on speakerphone. You can tell him to stop. Come on, Stevie. Try it. Fine, we’re gonna leave Hat Surprise where it is, if that’s all you’re gonna do. If you’re gonna be like that. Yeah, that’s it. Shut your pie hole. Check out our newest special on the Mythical Society. Rhett, Link, and Stevie survive the apocalypse. Join now to watch.