Welcome to Good Mythical More, the good old comic strip. It had its day and um, it’s about to have another one today because we are going to guess the punchlines of comic strips. We’re gonna have a good time with that, but first we’re gonna get caught up on our voice voicemail. Cows have best friends, so in another life, if you guys were cows. You have your best friend. Good musical new reading. Oh. Okay. It might be true to, do cows have best friends? Can we verify that? I wanna be a wild cow. I don’t believe that. I don’t think you can be a wild cow. I don’t think they exist. You ever walk up on a cow? Uh huh. Maybe. Yeah. Okay, I’m gonna read our obituaries in a little bit, but It’s true. It’s true? Cows have best friends. Wow, I knew I had a connection to burgers for some reason. Oh. My thigh is itching. If you got turned into a burger, I’d eat you. Thank you, Rhett. Thank you. BFFs for Evs. Burgers, burger friends forever. So, when I was um, you know, when I was younger, every Sunday we’d go to Nanny and Papa’s house and I would read the comics. So I think I’m ready for this. Yep. I wouldn’t read all of them. We’re gonna show you the first few panels, and then you’re gonna guess the last panel. Okay. And then you also have to read your obituaries. Oh, yeah, we will. You better believe it. I don’t, I don’t, let’s try not writing this down. I’ve already written a lot today. Yeah, I don’t like writing. My wrist hurts. Okay. I think let’s do it verbal. And then if, uh, you know, if that becomes a problem, we can pivot, you know? Mm hmm. That’s called, like, an open ended, open minded approach. This first comic is Garfield. Oh, Garfield. Garfield is one that I wouldn’t skip. I couldn’t face life as a declawed person, so I’ll just stick my head in this oven and end it all. Jeez, Garfield. Uh huh, yep. And there, he’s putting his head in. And then we’re guessing the third one? Yep, so what’s the third one in this set? What Um, so I think that Odie is in there. He’s encountering, he’s finding that Odie is already in there and he says something funnier than, like, beat me to it, like, you don’t even have claws. I guess he does have claws. I think John comes in and says, you gotta be patient. Uh, patience is a virtue, Garfield. I’m, I, hey, I ordered out. I got takeout. Uh, something about that. Something about the impending meal that Garfield seems like he’s about That would be lasagna. Lasagna, oh, I’m out of big flat noodles, Garfield. Something about the food. Okay. Okay, here we go. Stupid electric stove. So that means Is this a gas chamber joke? What the heck? Yeah. Stupid electric stove. It’s like he can’t do the job. Oh. Because it’s electric, not gas. Oh, wow. Dark. That is dark, Jim Davis. It’s from, uh, 1978. Yeah, that’s back when I was one years old. Mm hmm. Or you can make those kinds of jokes. Well, let’s just move on. Let’s forget that one happened. Okay. Here’s the next one. There’s bad news and good news about the bank robber. What is the name of this? Yeah, what’s the name of this? I remember seeing this. This is Shu. Shu. Shu. Shu. From 2002. There’s bad news and good news. I’ll try to give you some years so that you get some context for humor here, yeah. Okay, bad news and good news about the bank robber. Next panel. The scheme ask made him hard to identify. So that’s the bad news. Next panel. Hold on. Is there another panel? The final panel is, yeah. But his name tag made it pretty easy. Uh huh. But his name tag made it really easy. Go back to the first panel. See if there’s any clues there. Bank robber. Why would he have a name tag as a bank robber? Good question. Good news and bad news about the bank robber. And he hasn’t said which one was the bad news. And then the next one, uh, the ski mask made him hard to identify. And then the next one. But the bad news What if it’s that, it’s more bad, that was the good news? Probably not. Yeah. Alright, I’mma, I’mma go, I’mma let Rhett have this one, I think that’s a good one. But his name tag, how else, but what could be the good news? Maybe I can come up with something, but I can’t. Alright, let’s see it. But his ski boots made him easy to catch. Ski mask ski boots. That’s good. That’s good. I should have gotten that. I really should have put in some effort. I’ll try that on the next one. We really, really like that one. Uh, that one killed me. Charles Lincoln Link Neal III, age 46, passed away on January 16th, 2025. Oy. Born on June 1st, 1978, he was a devoted husband to Christy Neal, a loving father to Lillian, Charles, and Lando, but most importantly, best friend to Rhett McLaughlin. Did you write this? No. Link is most remembered for being shorter than Rhett, having hair that used to go down but now goes up, and that one time he broke his collarbone when he fell off his bike. That’s what I’m known most for. He leaves behind a legacy of being Jimmy Fallon’s filler guest. Owning serial killer glasses. Oh. And being the second favorite host of Dispatches of Myrtle Beach. Oh! In honor of Link, no sharp knives will be available at the reception. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Foundation for Stupid Feud Opinions. Food Opinions. Stupid Food Opinions. I blew the joke, guys. I said food as feud. You have one, too. I’ll read mine in a moment. Read yours in a moment. Are we liking this not writing it down thing? No. Yes, definitely. Okay, because you couldn’t think of an answer from the last one, and then I can’t remember what you’ve both said. Mine was great. But we’re liking it? When I can’t think of an answer, it’s not better to write it down. Okay. All right, let’s see the next one. Oh, Electra. Poor thing. I was out so long. You’ve been all along. This is like, this is Kathy. This is Kathy from 2000. It’s written by Kathy, too. It was all about herself. I didn’t know that Kathy wrote Kathy, but somehow I remembered that that was Kathy. You need some attention here. Scratch, scratch, pat, pat, scratch. Kiss. Humans are like a theme park ride. Okay, good setup here. Humans are like a theme park ride. It’s exciting at the start. You wait around all day Okay, yep, yep. for a minute of And then it’s over before you know it. And then it’s over before you know it. You wait around all day, then it’s over before you know it. That’s better written than that. A three hour wait for a 30 second thrill. 30 second thrill. Well, it’d given me a little time, Kathy, and I would’ve come up with that. A three hour wait for a 30 second thrill. You know, I would not want to be a comic stripper, because every week you got this deadline, you got to come up with something, you got to come up with something funny. A comic stripper. One funny thing every week. That actually sounds good. I could be a stripper. I’ll just say, I’m just going to volunteer for this. Okay. I’m say I would like to see a stripper do this, but if you had like basically like set up and punch line little things that happen. Oh. Like I got like one little pasty. Uh huh. And another little pasty, and I got set up, I bring it down. Yes, yes. And then I bring down the punchline. And so like basically watching me is like watching a series of jokes. You know, it’s like where’s the next punchline coming from? And you could get them from like Laffy Taffy. If I got desperate, yeah. But I could also write my own. I know, but writing your own, there’s supplies involved. But I would have like. And you’re not gonna make a lot of money doing this. But I would start off with a pair of chaps on. Yeah. And then I take one chap off and there’s like a joke on one leg. Take the other chap off, another joke. Then I got like So they read your body. Yeah, they read my body. And then I’ve got like, big I have a big pant, like, big underwear that covers both butt cheeks, but then I got one, I peel off one butt cheek, set up other butt cheek punchlines. The whole night, I’m just giving you new jokes. And is that what killed you? Comic Stripper, that’s what they call me. Comic Stripper. Rhett James McLaughlin, age 47, passed away on January 16, 2024. Oh, last year. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Born on October 11th, 1977, he was a devoted husband to Jesse McLaughlin, a loving father to Locke and Shepard, but most importantly, best friend to Link Neal. Rhett leaves behind a legacy of being Jimmy Fallon’s filter, filler guest. Same thing. Being so ashamed of himself, he had to write country music about it. Ha! Ha! So ashamed of himself. And laughing to make celebrity guests feel good. I do do that. Somebody’s got to. Rhett is most remembered for his midlife crisis tattoos, his busted back, and his numerous high school nicknames. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the foundation of people who don’t know vanilla comes from Madagascar. It’s back! Yes! What, what, what else? Get all this text for the other parts. What else? Read the obituary of the, uh, dead guy beside us. Patrick Patrickson. Okay. Patrick Patrickson, age 85. Passed away on January 10th, 2024. Okay. It’s uh, Latin. Oh no, there’s some other good stuff though. There’s, um, do you know Latin Uhuh? The paid, the paper goes Latin. It’s the Grand Egg. Is that the morning is Mythical. Graphic design industry booms due to increased, say, appreciation. I’ll say I will say the date. It’s night, it’s uh, 2025 on the, uh Yeah, you died, you died a year ago. The morning is Mythical continued. Dead jellyfish sting out of spite. Nobody wins when a dead jellyfish stings something. They add nothing to the world but pain. If you put a dead jellyfish in a hollowed out book, it would be worth negative dollars. It would be worth the opposite of whatever the book was worth times two. If you hollowed out a 20 book and put a dead jellyfish in it, it would be worth negative 40. Sorry, you now only have 975 dollars. Invest it in inside out houses right now. Don’t invest in dead jellyfish or books, and especially not books with dead jellyfish inside them. However, if you were to paint a picture of a dead jellyfish, it would still be worth 1,000 words, because pictures can’t sting. Where’d y’all get this? What? Where’s Chappie? There’s so many more words about jellyfish in here. Does Chappie really like jellyfish? They say a picture’s worth a thousand words, but in a book it’s words that paint a picture. Does that mean that Dickens needs to write one thousand words before he has painted a picture in our mind? No. Because within a few simple sentences, sometimes within a few words, we have an idea of what to say. So Chappie has an opinion piece in this paper? Use five words, create a picture, then sell it for a thousand. You just made nine hundred and ninety five bucks. Assuming words translate directly to dollars as a currency. Chappie, you wrote this? A long time ago. Do these reflect your opinions? Thanks. I guess, in like 2013. In 2013! Okay, alright. This came from your brain. Wow. Read more. The other thing about books is they only have value when they are whole. A half a loaf of bread is still bread, but if I rip a 200 page book in half, I can’t sell it for the price of a 100 page book. But if I were to remove the last word of a book, it’s still a book. If I were to remove the last two words, it’s still a book. So how much do I have to remove before it ceases to be a book and becomes something else? What if I were to hollow out the book? If I hollow out a book and place money inside it, how much money do I have to put inside until it is worth the exact amount it was before I hollowed it out? You would think the answer is obvious. If the book costs 20, put in 20, because the rest is worthless. But is it worthless? You can’t read it, so it is worthless. But that implies that the part I removed costs 20, because if the rest is worthless, all the worth is in that chunk. But on its own, the hollow chunk is worthless, too. Both parts of a hollowed out book are worthless. But together, they’re worth 20. That’s where the money is. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. But two parts of a hollowed out book for free, put them together, sell it for 20. You just made 20. And while you’re at it, use a couple of the words in the book to paint a picture and sell that, too. You just made 1,015 dollars. Throwback! Invested, but not in books. Books are things of the past. Invested in inside out houses. They haven’t invented inside out houses yet, so right now they cost nothing. Therefore, you can’t possibly lose money. You can only gain it. Inside out houses are things of the future and they are the key to wealth and happiness, not books. Some animals shouldn’t exist. When jellyfish die, they are the worst things. Dead jellyfish can still sting things, but unlike a live jellyfish who stings so they can eat, dead jellyfish just do it out of spite. Nobody wins when a dead jellyfish stings something. They add nothing to the world but pain. If you put a dead jellyfish in a hollowed out book, it will be worth negative dollars. It’ll be worth the opposite of whatever the book was worth times two. If you put, if you hollered out a 20 book. Now it’s repeating. Yep. Lorem ipsum dolum sit amet. Dang, Chappie. Wow. Wait, where does it start? Where does it actually start? Right there. I think it starts where they say a picture is worth a thousand words, I think is where it starts. Yeah. And then the way that it ends is because pictures can’t stand you. Yeah. That’s what I have in my notes app. Wow. Did you dictate that? No. Wow you actually use your thumbs to do that? I guess. We should submit that to a contest of some kind. A writing contest. This guy still interviewing celebrities. Josh. I mean, I can read this, too, if you want me to. Well, I want to see another comic strip. Okay, yeah. We’ll read that another time. We’re going Peanuts. Oh yeah, this is the most, 2017. This is the most boring autobiography I’ve ever read. He’s reading Snoopy’s biography. You’ve lived a very dull life. No one will want to read about it. Mhmm. Everything that happened to you only happened in your imagination. And he looks, is he actually happy or is he embarrassed? You gonna write something down? Why are you writing it down? Don’t do that. Not allowed to do that. He’s gonna say something about, you know, He does this always, always inspirational, aspirational, makes you be like, oh, that’s true. It’s like, if you believe it, you can see it. Yeah, something along those lines. Something about the nature of the imagination. I’d rather have a wonderful imagination than a, than you as a critic. I’ll imagine that I’ve filled a million copies. That’s funny. That’s sweet. Uh, not as good as Chappie’s work. Oh my gosh, sorry. I just spilled, I spilled my drink all over Chappie’s article. Not as good as Chappie’s work. Not as good as, not as good as Chappie’s work. You can’t write this stuff. Our new daily routine hoodies available now at Mythical.com Get it before it’s gone.