Welcome to Good Mythical More. Animorphs. I am vaguely familiar. I am not familiar. Can we take any information that we can have and we can learn to predict what animorphs morph into? Specifically. Specifically? Yeah. Specific, specifically What specific Animorphs. Oh, it. I, what I heard in my mind was specifically dot, dot, dot. So I just kind of waited. I know you did. But first, let’s give $1,000 to Friends of the LA River to aid in their mission to support communities, students, and future leaders to advocate for nature, climate, and equity on the Los Angeles River. Mm-hmm. You can join us in giving at folar.org. Our river needs it y’all. Animorphs hold a, a special place in my, in my childhood heart. Oh, so these are from a little bit, a little bit back. What was that supposed to mean? Way, way back, way back when you were a child? Not, not way back though. Not way back. Just kind of far specifically– Between 1996 and 2001. But I associate Anamorphs time with Goosebumps time and Erie, Indiana time. They were all at the same time for me. What a time that was 96. Yeah. 2001. We ran college. I still have… I believe I have all of three of those series. I have all the books in the series in a, in a tub. I don’t know what I’m gonna do with that. Okay. But it feels. But you keep them in the tub. It feels– Burn them for warmth. Hmm. Okay. Sorry. No offense. Animorphs. Yes. So they’re animated– Specifically. And then they morph. Yes. Well, okay, so basically it’s the series follows five teenagers that encounter a dying alien who gives them the power to transform into animals. And the good alien species in animorphs are the Andalites, who look like blue centar and they created the morphing technology. And the evil alien species are the Yeerks and they’re like, slugs that can slide into people’s ears and control their brains, and they– Like the wrath of con. Mm-hmm. Yes. Like the wrath of con! Like the wrath of con! And so they have invaded Earth and they have taken over many people’s brains, but you don’t always know who’s been taken over. This is a lot more intense than I thought. This was like Teletubbies type stuff. This is intense. No. Oh, this is YA. You know, they’re teenagers, but I think they’re young teenagers. You know what I mean? Um, oh no. And then in order to morph into an animal, you have to make physical contact with it to absorb its DNA. And then once you morph into an animal, you only have two hours. What kind of physical contact? What was that? What kind of physical contact? Light touching. Just touch light. Petting Heavy. Heavy petting. Heavy petting. Heavy petting of an animal. Okay. But if you don’t transform back into a human teenager, uh, you know, if you pass that two hours, you’ll be forever stuck as that animal. So you have to only be in it for two hours max. You have the option to transform back? Yeah. At any time. Yeah. Yeah. You, you transform back and forth at your own will. Okay. Let’s see one, ’cause I wanna see a picture. Well, so. This is the, I’m gonna show you basically each cover of Animorphs, isn’t that animated? No, no. Each cover of Animorphs you have like, it starts a human form and then you see them go into their animal form, basically. So each progression. We took a still of, so it’s, why is it it so pixelated? Well, because there’s multiple stages on the cover of the book. You’re really zoomed then punched in. Yeah. Yeah. You’re really zoomed in. So this is like– Oh, it’s a book. Oh, I’m just gonna getting that too. I thought you were talking about the other things were books. That’s why I said I have all those series in a tub. Yeah. Yeah. Like I have books in a tub. You can’t burn a TV show. Yeah. And yeah, you said it was burning for war. Know she about books, but I thought she was talking about the other things. I think this young man turns into a lion because of the, because– He gonna touch a lion? How you gonna touch a lion? Old school zoos with the bars. I think he turns into an opossum. Easy to touch, scary, but harmless to touch. Okay, let’s go to the next, um, progression. Oh, see, he’s becoming cat-like. Well, his chin is getting bigger. Maybe he’s becoming a goldfish. Okay. His arms are going out. I think he’s becoming a bird. A hawk. Let’s go one more. A pheasant. Oh, a pumpkin. Yeah. He is becoming a hawk. He is becoming a hawk. You’re right. He’s got, he’s got a cleft chin. What kind of animal has a cleft chin? It’s like the bottom part of a, of a hawk’s feathers. The head feathers come down and they,. I think he might be turning into a rooster with that dangly thing. We’re not getting any confirmation that you’re right, so you must not be. No, I’m trying to, what you view as like wing starters aren’t wing starters. After we see one, I’m sure we’ll get it completely. Okay, fine. But this next image is gonna give it away. We’ll go to the next one. Well, but we’ll be the judge of that. A tarantula. So he turned into a tarantula. Yeah, so this is the full cover. So space. This is what all kind of look like. Oh my goodness. He has to crouch down to do it. Oh my God. He touched a tarantula. Well, you can do that. They’re actually pretty harmless. Fear has a new name. Yeerk. So what does he do? Is that to scale when he become, when he becomes a tarantula, is he a big one? No, he’s a little one. Yeah. Okay. And what does he do? Does he just like? It depends on the story. There’s 64 books, so there’s a lot of morphing in each book and each morphing thing. You is a, you like get around a different obstacle or like, you know, fight or something happens, you know? K.A. Applegate. Is that a, uh, pseudonym? Who cares. What else did K.A. Applegate write? A good. Sorry. Lemme see. Um, you care. I just wanna know if there’s any crossover with anything that I read. Oh, it’s Catherine Applegate. Mm-hmm. Let me see what else. Oh, she has a bunch of other, nice, cute books. Once you touch the torrential, like, can you always turn into one for the rest of your life? So you’re accumulating so you, you’re just going around. You gotta be careful what you touch. Well, not careful. That just gives you more ability. The more things you touch, the more things you accumulate. Is that true? That’s what they just said. Yeah. So you turn into a bedbug if you were sleeping with ’em and you didn’t know it. Oh yeah. So you can just go around touching animals all the time. Going to petting zoos across the world. Petting zoos would be big for these kids. Yep. Alright, let’s see the next one. I’m still reading about Catherine. Oh, she’s gonna be a horse. I can see it from a mile away. Uh, well, she’s about to touch something. I think she’s gonna be, oh, she should be a dolphin. A crab. She’s gonna be an aquatic animal. Mm. Next one. Okay. Oh, she’s becoming a, a salamander or a crocodile. Ooh. Well, I don’t know if she is. I don’t, is that a crocodile or an alligator? Well, I can never tell. I mean, that’s pretty close regardless. Yes, I got it. ’cause her nose got bigger. Let’s see it all together. Woo. Look at that. Okay, now those two middle things. Yeah, that’s a be scared of that. That’s that’s an awkward state for her. That’s an uncanny valley. How long is she in those two stages? Like a year? Puberty for them is tough. I’m becoming a crocodile. Like you wouldn’t want to like, you just wouldn’t want to make eye contact with ’em as they’re changing. Oh my gosh. Catherine got her start as a ghost writer for Sweet Valley Twins. See, I knew he’d find some good stuff, which, which was another little series you loved you It book series, Stevie series. You loved it. It’s just cranking ’em out. You’ve kept ’em in a tub. Not the Sweet Valley Twins. Trust no one. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Four dots. Four dots. That’s an extra long pause. How about this one? Well, um, not a lot to go on at this point. Okay. Let’s see the next one. Uh oh, she horse, yeah, horse, donkey, mule. Yeah. You, yeah, that was a big, that was a big leap. Anytime the snout comes out. Yep. And then finally. Oh yeah. Look at that. Wow. Look at that middle one. This is such a weird idea. It’s like a face filter. I mean, of an alien. How crappy the Animorphs logo is. I know. They really miss the mark. It’s not even, so– Come on, Scholastic. How could it be so bad? Well, 1996, I, I mean. Yeah, they had computers. It looked like the online nation font. Yeah, it, Hey, careful. Looks crappy. Tread lightly. Never underestimate the power of a morph. A morph. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. So gimme a, give me a, a shenanigan they might get into as a horse, just because, you know, like, My memory’s so terrible. Jumping over a fence. If I became a horse. Yeah. I’d be on the news that night, like, you know what I’m saying? Like I could, I guarantee you that I could get on the local news if I turned into a horse. Horse eats everything at Burger King. I might even get on the national news as a horse. What would you do? Well, let me think. Um. Horse jumps across the LA River. I’d have to do something where a lot of people filmed it. And then I gotta do something where I don’t get tased or like, uh, tranquilized too fast. You gotta go to a place where there’s not gonna be somebody with a tranquilizer. Well just, and you gotta tread lightly, literally. Horse locks himself in a Mercedes-Benz and drives through town. Horse driving. That’s, I think that’s asking too much of a horse, even a man in a horse body. Okay, horse has fun on slip and slide until arrested. I think it go to like a Baskin Robbins. Horse gets way too many samples at local Baskins. Yeah, I would, I would go into a Baskin Robbins and just behave. It turned out that the horse doesn’t do much. Like there’s a lot of fast running, uh, some, some communicating with other animals. Horse goes to local diner and requests a toothpick. Oh, you know what I would do? I know what I would do before I became a horse. I would make a little, uh, like a, I, I would, I would have a, like a note or something that, and it would say like, free rides! Horse let’s Link ride him all day. No, no free rides. Just hop on. And it would be some kind of thing that once I became a horse, I could like, put my head through it and it would like sash or something like that. Because you gotta think about that. Once you become a horse, there’s no, you can’t write, you can’t put on your own saddle. Yeah. So it’s gonna be something I can like go through. And then– Ladies ride free. I would go to a, to a populated, I would go down to Hollywood Boulevard and I would just stop. And I would, I would like. For tourists? Do that in front of people. People would get on me and I’d take ’em a little bit. Think about that. I’d be on the news for that for sure. And you know what? And I’d have a job. Horse gets job! Next. Well, she also wrote a series called Making Out. It’s a whole series. This hair… She’s becoming a lion. Dedicated to making out. She is– Boyfriend’s girlfriends. Really? That’s what it says. Okay. Christine, Zoe. Fools around. Jake finds out. Nina won’t tell. Wow. Catherine. Yeah, this is, this woman is underwater. She’s turning into a dolphin. This is what I wanted to happen before. Oh, next two timing. Aisha. That’s one of them. Two timing a– next one. Oh, yep. She’s definitely underwater and that eye’s getting– Shark. She’s becoming a starfish. Shark! Hammerhead. No, I don’t think we can go to the next one yet, because it gives too much away a flounder, and it’s just really, she’s becoming a fla. Her eyes are moving to one side of her head. I hate to be a flounder. Okay. The shape of the hair, uh, starfish. No, I mean, um, seahorse, seahorse, no kelp animal kelp. It’s, it’s not a, it’s not a sexy animal. A manatee. The least sexy animal. The least sexy animal. That the shape of her hair is going to turn into. Frog. What? Turtle? Oh my God. But the eyes are in the same place, is that what you’re saying? Yeah. Salamander. Okay, let’s just go to the next image. What squid? There you go. Yeah. Ooh. Oh. Ah. Ah. Ugh. All right. Zoom out. Ugh. The exposed, they thought they’d seen it all. They were wrong. Do dot, dot, dot. Man. I don’t know if I could get on the news as a squid, that would be tough. Horse is much easier. That like as a squid, you gotta get out. And you’re really gonna have trouble once you get out of the water. And if I’m just doing surface stuff, they’re gonna be like, this is a crazy squid. Y’all gotta come see it. Squid desiccates in local Burger King. You know what I could do? Maybe with my ink, I could skyr like water write a message on the surface of the water. They’d be like, I think that skid, just that squid just said hello to us. I’m pretty sure that squid, I guess when a kid turns into a squid, it is a skid. Uh, I hate it. Okay, this next one is. What up? Disturbing. What’s up dude? What’s up? Chimpanzee? No, let’s go to the next one. Ooh. Oh, his face is getting veiny stretched. Snake. Okay, but it’s specific Cobra. Let’s go to the next one. Oh yeah, it’s a cobra. Ooh, yes. Dang, man, his neck got wide. Zoom out. Oh, I like he had his hands in his pocket. Oh my gosh. And then when he turns into a cobra, at first it looks like it has on like a sports bra. Now, let’s just think about this a little bit. These were books. This kid who took this picture for this book. How did he, he may not even known that he was an anamorph. He may have, he may have thought he was in the Sears catalog, right? Stock footage. Vibe. Stock footage. And then he’s like, oh, I made the anamorphic. Oh, they made me into a cobra. How would that feel? I bet you that felt pretty dang cool. He’s probably got, this kid probably has this framed in the text. Well, ’cause like remember the Scholastic school fairs. Mm-hmm. You know, remember a time where there wasn’t so much content everywhere. You had to get your yourself a book and you just had a time with it. Yeah. And he was on the cover. I mean, he was. He made it. He was pulling left and right. You know, I would go back. I would go back. If I could, I would go back. Cobra is a sexy cobra. I’m just gonna say it’s a cobra with a, with a sports bra and jeans. Okay, I see it. Forget that it used to be a boy. I think. I think that that Cobra, if, if he could stop there, he could get on the news. Yeah, definitely. The boy or the cobra, difficult time getting on the news. Yeah. Yeah. Half Cobra, half boy. You’ll get on the news. Okay. I have to show you this last, this last one. This feels like the same guy. No, it’s not the same guy. It’s his brother. He doesn’t look happy about what’s about to happen. He’s like, I’m embarrassed that they made me into this. Sheep. I think the next image, he really doesn’t look happy. Um, a, a, a, a wolf. A dog, a dingo. Coyote. What kind of dog? A German ship. A Bernese mountain dog. A pit bull. I mean, a, a doberman. A bulldog. No. Underbite. Chihuahua. Uh, let’s go to the next one. A poodle. Yeah. Look at him. Oh my gosh. He’s sleepwalking. Well, people say I look like Barbara. All right, zoom out. Oh, look at that sleepwalking dog, man. The next to last one is, is basically a, just a dog. It is, but with clothes on. This is my least favorite. Yep. What’s on your mind? Dot, dot, dot, question mark? Yeah. They just did whatever they wanted to with the, uh, punctuation, didn’t they? That’s animorphs for you. This week’s Ear Biscuit is a little bit different. I’m going solo and speaking with Brittany Hartley of No Nonsense Spirituality about spiritual deconstruction.