Can we finish these dad jokes? Welcome to Good Mythical More. Rhett, you are in for a treat today because we have scratch off dad jokes. Can we win stuff? These come in a box, and then what you do is you read the first part and then you, oh, they even give you a spatula. A scratchula. Oh, to scratch it off. I wanted to use my big quarter. – It’s a combination of… – I brought my big quarter because y’all said I was gonna be scratching today. Lottery tickets, scratchers. Okay. And so it’s not, this is not a game, it’s just, you just asked the, the punchline, the setup, and then you guess the punchline, but you have to scratch it off. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And it has an indication on there of how cheesy it is from mild to sharp. So there’s a self-awareness to this. Hey, we’re dads. Okay, I think we can do this. What do you call fake spaghetti. And then on the cheesy meter, this is pretty mild, fake spaghetti Uh, fake spaghetti. So something that’s not real. – Something to… metaphysical – Noodle… fake spaghetti. That’s noodle. – Super… super… – Penne… Fake Spaghetti imaginary… Imagine noodles. Oh, do you think that’s worth the scratch off? You think? You think I might be… I’m not. I’m not. Right. Why? Why are we stunned? I think I have it. I think I have it. What do you call fake? This Daddy has it. Fake spaghetti, daddy? You want me to tell you what I think it is? What letter does it start with? – I think it starts an I. – Alright. Oh, so it is imaginary. Let’s scratch off. No, it is imaginary. It is. Maybe you need my big quarter. Why is your scratcher not working? You gotta, oh, the whole, all of that comes off. What is that? That’s a picture of a dad. Yeah. This is, no. Oh, it starts with an AN No, it’s anti pasta. – An – blank, I think, – What do you call fake spaghetti. The second word has an I I’m still holding on. So you think this is an… An… an… okay Imaginary. Steve, you’re saying you know this? I think I do. Yeah. The word you’re looking for. Okay. When there’s a group of people and one person is faking, or one person’s like a mall imitation. Impasta an Impasta. – An Impasta – One for daddy. Okay. Oh, so this is a game. Yeah. And you’ve got one Okay. All right. Okay. Alright. I see. I see A little less mild. A little more sharp on the cheesy meter. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Why can’t your nose, because it’s not a foot, because then it will be a foot. Yeah, that’s probably better because then it would be a foot, because then it would be a foot That’s a bit intense for such a. It is an intense bit of work on my part, just to reveal that is what I’m trying to say. If you use my big quarter, it’d probably go by even faster. I’ll let you do the next one. Okay. What do you call a dog with no legs? Well, if it was a cow, that’d be ground beef. A dog with no legs is a wiener. Uh. That’s not gonna do it, Rhett Where is it at On the cheesy meter? It’s real sharp. Real sharp? Yeah. Yeah. What do you call a dog with no legs? A wiener schnitzel A hot dog. I mean, is that better than a wiener? Is that what you meant by wiener? Because I usually only exclusively think of wiener as private part So when I wiener, you only thought of penis? Yeah. What about a wiener dog? I thought of a dog. So a wiener? Well, in a roundabout way. Yeah. Hot dog. I don’t think that’s it. What do you call a dog with no legs? Daddy, you got anything? I, I got a wiener, uh, as well. Yeah, that’s what you thought. All right. That’s a big, oh, that was, oh, almost effortless. It doesn’t matter. He’s not coming. Oh, I, I’ve heard this. We’ve all heard this because he doesn’t have a legs. What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter. Shouldn’t it be, how do you call a dog with no legs? If that’s the answer. Well, that’s true. – I mean, yeah… – It’s not much of a setup there. If you wanna get technical, but then it’s like, what does, you know, it doesn’t matter. He is not coming. What do you, you don’t know that he might be in one of those little carts – Yeah, you’re right, Stevie, – that he can control with his tongue or his mind, you know? Yeah. They got those. They got those. You can’t stop a, a legless dog these days. You can’t stop ’em. Why? If it’s one leg. I’m telling you, they’re all in Ireland. Sight see. Link saw a lot of three-legged dogs in Ireland A lot of three legged dogs in Ireland. Every time I went to an overlook, there’d be a dog with three legs. Was always the same. One missing. I think we were all in the same route with another family, with one dog with three legs, and he kept getting out. Oh, it was the same dog. No, I don’t think I, I saw at least four. Three-legged dogs. That’s, that’s astounding. Yeah. That’s a lot of three-legged dogs in one place. Yeah. What if there was a convention? Three-legged dog convention. That’s probably what it was. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Cause they just can’t work it out. Something like that. Because they don’t want to work it out. Bause they don’t wanna work it out. I’m just making it better. How cheesy is it? Uh, mild. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? I think we’re onto something with this But work it out. It has to be working out. Working out Okay. All right. Go from the bottom with that coin. See if it, ah, you did the whole thing. Relationships don’t work out because some relationships don’t work out. See, I was trying to wordsmith it, Carney Yeah, we should have waited because some relationships don’t work out. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out. We were all around that one, like a three-legged dog sniffing his way to the three-legged dog convention. A three-legged dog sprinting in a, in what he hopes is a straight line. I think they can do it. I’ve seen, I, you know, they’re little troopers, man, little troopers. How does a snowman get around? Sexually. Uh, how does a snowman get around? Well, we know he doesn’t have legs. It doesn’t matter. He won’t come when you call him. How does a snowman get around? Probably a sled. Come on, we’re dads. We gotta, we’re better than this. I, I feel like it has something to do with the double play on round. ’cause it snowman has round parts. Right. You can’t make a square snowman. That’s a, that’s a new thing. Um, this, could it be something to do with melting? Get around. How does a snowman get around? Oh, I think it has something to do with like ordering a beer or something. A round of drinks. Oh. So how does a snowman get around? He, he says, cold ones for everybody. Have a cold one on me. He goes to a bar. Alright, so is it about melting? Is it about, can I try your coin? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s a style coin. Yeah. Is it about a bar or is it about the shape? I think it’s about the shape of the snowman. All right, so there’s a little hint. I just gave you a little hint. He rides his icicle. It’s about transportation. See, that’s what I gave you. See, and this is now the game. When you do a little… by riding an icicle, ride an icicle. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. Oh, I thought you were about to say it. I told my wife she could ride an icicle. I didn’t. I didn’t. I thought you were, I didn’t know what you, where you, where you’re going with that. I was just reading the next one. Oh, sorry. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. Drawing her eyebrows too high. Girl, you’re drawing your eyebrows too high. She said. I told my wife she was, hold on. No, no, no, no, we don’t. We we’re gonna get this one. She was drawing her eyebrows too high. – It looks like it starts with an S. – Why are you cheating I’m playing the game That’s just an a little extra something. She said, what you know about eyebrows? I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She said, she said, I’m just trying to get ’em away from…. – My eyes. – You I’m just trying to, uh, yeah. Is this something, does this have something to do with surprise? Yes. I’m doing that to represent the distance I feel between the two of us. And like when you raise your eyebrows, you’re surprised. See if that’s in on there. Yeah. It’s representative of the distance I feel, between the two of us. Ah, see it has the word surprise in it. Okay. She wasn’t surprised. She surprised. Oh. She looked surprised. She surprised. She looked surprised. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. She looked surprised. Okay. Alright. That’s pretty good. Drawing her eyebrows too high. But I like to think about the relationship. What about the tattooed eyebrows these days? I’m into it. – The ones that are like so realistic… – Not where your eyebrows were especially What is that called? Microblading. That. I mean, I’m amazed at how good they can do. I’m gonna have to do that. But what do they actually do? Look, my eyebrows are disappearing. Look at how gray they’re getting. You don’t need to close up. Why you popping? My eyebrows are disappearing. Look at that. They’re totally gone now and so are my eyes. Maybe you’re one of those guys that doesn’t need ’em. Yeah, because I have glasses that serve the, yeah. Purpose. You can get some attached to the back of your glasses. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Uh, don’t. Okay. Um, because he was… – He slipped in – because he was feeling a little yellow. Um, he thought he had jaundice because. Because Jaundice Because… why did the… He wasn’t peeling well. Oh yes. He wasn’t peeling well. He wasn’t peeling well. I tried to catch a frog. Question mark. I catch, catch a frog. I tried to catch a frog. I tried to catch, I tried to catch fog. Lemme try this again. – I tried to catch fog – But I mist. Oh, that’s it. That’s it. No, it’s just missed. Missed. Shorter. More efficient. Same. Same. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. Question mark. I don’t know why. I don’t know. I don’t know-y Yeah, they, they wrote that wrong. They don’t wrote that wrong. Why are colds bad for criminals? Because you can’t catch ’em, because they’re easy to catch. So the opposite. So, so, you know, but you knew, I mean, we would’ve figured it out eventually. Hey, we’re on a roll. What’s the opposite of a croissant? A-A-S-A-A-S-A-A cro… I just thought if I started saying something, something might happened. A crossane What’s the opposite of a croissant? A croissant. A croissant. This is a word play one. We know it. It’s not croissant. A hap a happy. What’s the opposite of a croissant? – A happy… – Cross aunt? Cross aunt. A happy aunt If that’s it. Rip it. Rip the card. Oh, a happy uncle. Rip it. Well, you can’t even rip that. You can’t even rip that. What do you call a bee from America? A-bee-rican. What do you call a bee from America? What do you call anyone from America? A a US citizen. US uh, a US… B? – USB – A USB What’s a ninja’s Favorite shoes. What’s a ninja’s? Favorite shoes. Flip. No flop. – Something about being silent – Or karate. Karate shoes. Bedroom. Is this a pun? Uh, it’s gonna be, they’re gonna be very quiet. What’s the quietest shoes? It ends in a ERS. Oh. What’s the quietest shoes? Ends in an ERS. Slippers. No, no, no. Don’t, don’t, don’t tell me. What do ninjas like to do? They like to sneak up on you? Yeah. Sneakers. Sneakers. Why shouldn’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will, she will freeze. She’ll fly away. She’ll freeze. It’ll, it’ll, it’ll freeze, and then you won’t be, then if you try to blow it up, it’ll just crack something it go because she won’t let it go. Oh, Elsa. Nope. Again. You’re totally wrong. She’ll let it go. Don’t give her a balloon because she’ll let it go. She won’t let it go. And I, I hate to see a kid hold onto a balloon. Yeah, she’ll let it go. Why did the coffee call the police? – I do-nut know why – Latte… Latte crime happening here. Why did the coffee call the police? Um, because it was, um, what happens to coffee? It wasn’t strong enough. Um, it was. Why did the coffee call the police? Do? Do GGED. Exclamation point bugged? Because it was bugged. Why did the coffee call the police? It was drugged. It was drugged. Yep. This is, oh, I got it you guys. I got it. I got it. Okay. It was mugged. It was mugged. Yes. It got mugged. It got mugged. Yes, it got mugged. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish with no eyes. Well, the bottom side of a flounder Dinner, this is mild. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Just turn it over. It’s got two on the other side. A fish with no eyes. An itus. You’re close. Well, this is a spelling joke, not a, um, what do you call it? Fish with No Eyes. Oh, fifth. Hey, that’s a good one. FSH. That’s a good one. Hold on, I’m gonna put that one in my pocket. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh And I like how you can, you know how sometimes when you’re doing a dad joke, you can lean in close and make it weird? It’s kind of like, it’s the, it’s the fingerless. Pull my finger. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When you lean in and I’m never gonna forget it. ’cause this is in my pocket now. Hopefully I don’t wash these jeans. Why did the deer go to the dentist? Why did the deer go to the dentist? Because he heard it was a good one. A herd… It’s a herd. A herd because he, it’s a herd, a herd, something about his teeth. It’s a herd. – It’s a herd… – His antler. Uh, why did the deer go to the dentist? Because his, because he chewed Something teeth, and there’s a. This is a lot of words before teeth. Something. Something. Teeth. Why did the deer go to the dentist? Teeth. Teeth. What about, oh, because of his buck teeth. Oh, oh, come on, come on, come on, come on. He had buck teeth, buck teeth. Hey, don’t put that one in my pocket. Hey, what do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh best ever. Watch the finale of Link versus Lily. Last one, standing at mythicalsociety.com.