Can we name these items that the crew doesn’t think we can identify? Welcome to “Good Mythical More.” Yes, we are still in the spookiest crop ever. It’s one row of corn. But it’s a scary one row of corn. That’s all it takes for us. Boo! Link has to do that every time I do that. So, Stevie, the crew has been put up to challenging us. Mm-hm. Are you scared of the unknown? Yep. Because these are all objects that you may or may not know. Well, these are objects that the lady crew members- The girly pops is what I… [Stevie] I asked how they wanted to be identified. They communicated the girly pops is how- The girly pops? they would like to be known. Okay. Okay. And they said that we would not, they’d know these things. Okay, so I have a series of images of products that they believe that you might not know what they are, and you’re gonna have to prove them wrong, that you, in fact, know what all these things are. Like, for instance, you- Now, before… I don’t wanna- Corn! Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t want you to go corn on me. Okay. If you know it, say you know it, but don’t say what it is. Because we- Why? Because the person who say that they know it, the other person has a chance to guess, so that there’s at least- So the other guy can be like, “Yeah, that’s what I was gonna say.” Yeah. Or the person who doesn’t know has to guess first. Oh, you’re saying, if you definitely do know what it is. Yeah, ’cause this is a comedy show. Oh. Oh, really? Yeah. Huh. Are we in agreement on the terms? I don’t have a prize or punishment, but I could make up one. Boo! It’s not a competition show. No, it’s not. Boo. It’s a comedy show- Boo. that has competition- Boo. for the sake of comedy. What are the- hand gestures that you’re using? Importance. Oh, okay. This, you know what this is, right? Well… Mm-hm. Okay. That is the- Didn’t you think it was a donut at first? It is the cake-iest donut you can get on the market. It’s a donut made out of pubes or something. It’s a pube nut. It’s a pube nut- It’s got a- from Voodoo Doughnuts. nice little dimple in the middle. If you really clean out your drain, and you’ve waited long enough, and then you let it dry- You gotta have a real symmetrical drain. and then you blow-dry it and poof it up, like grooming a dog, this is what you get. So you think, in all the bathrooms of all the girly pops here, there is a hardened pube donut- Yeah, that needs to be fluffed. in there? Okay. All right. Yeah, so- Any other guesses as to what this could be? Probably something that women rub on their faces with a promise that it’s gonna do something. Ooh. That sounded a little bit derogatory. I know this is a comedy show. I’m sorry, listen- So you didn’t mean it. I mean, it’s the sad world that we live in where women have to rub so many more things on their faces than men do. This is a special tool that women use to exfoliate their man’s member. What? Oh. Rhett… Why does the woman have to? Why can’t a man do it to himself? Well, because the girlies, they submitted it. So this is a rod exfoliator? Yes. Member, the ladies like to say member, okay? It’s like it’s the country club. “I’m a member of the country club. Country music is what I love.” Remember that song? Yeah, I love that song. I wish we could sing, damn it! I wish we could sing songs on YouTube. Can you give us a hint? This product is used to- Exfoliate? cause an illusion of sorts. Oh, this makes your… This is the bun on top of the head! There we go. This is the bun thing. Yeah, the bun maker. It makes your boobs bigger. Yeah, it makes your… What? Hold on, do y’all? Can I get one of these for my wife? I like big hair, and I cannot lie. I think I can get Jessie to wear one of these, maybe two of ’em. Shh. What? Don’t say what you want her to do. Let her do what she wants to do. I feel like I oughta to put ’em out somewhere so she’ll find ’em, though. That’s right. I gotta get ’em so she’ll run across ’em. It just sits up there, and you would like that? Like, you wrap your bun- You wrap your hair around it. Yeah. Oh, like a scrunchie. No! No, too… Like, your hair goes over it. It feels… Show him a picture! Well… Well, we don’t have that. Yeah, let’s see a result. It’s hot, man. I’m not getting any signals that anyone’s willing- Let’s go to the next one. to do that. We’ll come back to this. Show him! All right, so who’s- ‘Cause also, it just looks like a nice bun, you know? Who submitted that? Okay, we’re gonna call out? Yes. Okay, Sierra’s taking responsibility- You’re fired- for this. Next. What don’t you like about the bun donut? We were fooled. We look like fools now. Here’s the thing, just so you can prepare. We look like fools. The next one, be looking for a picture of it in action. Oh, okay. Somebody. I mean, look- I don’t like this. Somebody’s back there. There’s seven people back there. This next one, I think maybe you’ll know more. Remember, if you know it, don’t say it. I don’t like this thing. It freaks me out. But you’ve used it, though? I have used it, yes. So you don’t know either, huh? I could guess, but I do not know. You think you know, you said? Well, it has a cutter on one end, and it has a scooper on the other end. I think it’s if you’re gonna make your own makeup to put on your face. Why would I not like that? And why would I have used that? Yeah, yeah. Well, if you get like the raw materials of makeup, and then you have to- You know, you know. It’s quite labor intensive. This is a tool that women use to… I’m not, I don’t know why I even started it, but I was gonna say, “Cut off a man’s member” is what I was gonna say. I was gonna say … I was gonna say Lorena, like the Lorena Bobbit case. I think that this is a- Remember that? This is a- She cut it off with scissors. This goes, is pedicure stuff. It is for nails. It goes under the nails, yeah. Oh, no! Why would it do that? This is when you wanna get information from your man. “Get information from your man.” You could just ask him. You know us men. We don’t give up the information unless you torture us. Okay, if it has to do with nails… So the one in the middle is a buffer. The other thing is to go under the toenail. Interesting. I’ve never thought about using the middle part of this thing. I don’t know if that’s… I mean, that seems right. It’s a cuticle- It’s not just a grip. Exactly. It’s a cuticle pusher and cutter. Ugh, it gives me the chills. I hate it. It freaks me out. We nailed this one. We got this one. Who submitted it? Sierra again. Sierra? Sierra, you didn’t believe in us? No. Okay. We knew this. Yeah, we knew this one. Right. We knew this one. And thank you for submitting a picture of you using it. You’re trying to make us look like fools twice. Yeah. Did anyone else participate in this exercise? Yes, yes, actually, the next ones. This is so weird, ’cause I just would think that you would know. Okay, you know this one? I know what this is. Okay. Mm-hm. Okay. How can I relate this to a penis? Okay. It’s a comedy show, so I’m trying real hard. Good. Usually don’t. Is that what I was implying? I wasn’t implying that you don’t try to be funny. I’m just, I’m joking. But sometimes you just try to win. I’m joking. And then it doesn’t allow me to be funny. Okay. I thought you both independently thought of the way to apply this to a penis at the same time, and that’s why you were laughing. That could be also the case. I think this is for the face. Mostly. This is when a lady… He knows what he wants to say, but he doesn’t know if he has the strength to say it. But it’s not even that funny. Like, what I just thought of is not even that funny. Well, you laughed at it. He’s laughing hard at it. Just say it. We’re not gonna laugh. Don’t laugh at this. Sierra, you need to laugh. This is when a lady… You said it wasn’t even funny. It’s not. Come on now. I know what this is. It’s not funny. This is when a lady wants to… What? You said… She wants to know what it feels like to shave her face. It’s not funny. I don’t know why I’m laughing at it. Okay. Am I right? Hold on. Link? First of all, you’re close. It makes her feel something? This is if a lady, if a dog… What? If a lady or a dog, which one are you talking? Hold on. If a dog bites a lady’s nose off, and then they have to take- Why are you a laughing? It’s not funny. It’s not funny. This is true. Yeah, okay. This is when a dog bites a lady’s nose off, and then the doctor, the plastic surgeon, has to take hair, has to take skin from the forehead and put it on the nose, and then it grows hair, and then you have to shave it. I’ve seen this, and that’s what she told me. You are talking about a very specific TikTok. I saw that TikTok. Yes, we know now. Okay, who submitted this? See, it is for the face! She wanted to feel what it was like to shave her face! No, she’s actually- Well, she’d know what it would feel like, she actually shaved it. This is for facial hair. She’s just shaving her face. For, like, the fine facial hair. Ah. And, yes, you can use it else. Wherever a dog bites you, and then there’s a skin transplant, and if it grows hair, then you gotta shave it. Okay. Nicole submitted this. But I do understand that it’s for, like, peach fuzz. Peach fuzz. All over the face. Anywhere all over the face. Yeah. And it’s fine. I think we should remove the stigma of women shaving their face. But I don’t know why they have to use that instead of just a razor. What’s the difference? That’s a good question. I think it makes women feel comfortable using it. I think you’re right. It feels like half a shave. But, listen, you saw that TikTok. It’s a woman who, at the top of it, she’s shaving her nose. And I’m like, “What the hell?” And I’m watching it, and then she’s telling this story about how a dog bit her nose off, and everything I told you. And then now her nose grows hair. Why did they get skin from a place that grew so much hair? I don’t know. Get it from the butt. Did you hear about this baby who was born without eyelids? Oh, god. Oh, I haven’t Yeah. They had to use the foreskin- Oh, really? from his circumcision [Crew Member] to give him new eyelids. How did he turn out? How’d it turn out? It wasn’t bad. Little cockeyed. Okay. But yeah, I think this is- Still works. I think this device, in the way that it comes off- My nose is running. I’m just gonna blow my nose off. It’s very satisfying. Why did you think it was so funny that a woman would have to shave her face? I wasn’t laughing at the joke I was making, I was laughing at everything that had led up to that. But it was true. It wasn’t even a joke. It wasn’t… I told you when I started laughing that what I was laughing at wasn’t, that wasn’t funny. You think it’s funny if women have to shave their face? I wasn’t even laughing at the thing I was about to say. I was just laughing at the cumulative things that had happened up to that point. What’s the man- I just couldn’t help it. version of having to shave your face, and it being okay, but you don’t want to do it? Plucking your eyebrows? Kind of? Yeah, probably. I was very ashamed of plucking my eyebrows. Waxing your eyebrows. Waxing… Anything. I know that there’s some men that prefer not to have- Eyebrows. hair in their armpit and/or hair on, you know, their legs or whatever. Yeah, I’m done with that face, personally, but. You’re done with which face? You’ve done this what? Hair everywhere? Trimming the hair on my legs. Why did you do that to begin with? Because I liked it aesthetically. It’s a lot of trouble, isn’t it? But I did trim my eyebrows. I was telling you this a second ago. I trimmed my eyebrows with clippers, and I realized that, look, I cut the whole end of my eyebrow off. You see that? You’re making them way too short. You’re making them so much- Well, they hit my glasses, and they make it harder to… I have to clean them more often. Next. Your hair’s that dirty? It’s oily. Oh god, what is this? So this is a clamp that then… Oh, my god. Where does the wiener go? Okay, I know what this is, too. I know what this is. What this is to, you say? Yeah, as well. Okay. Oh, oh, oh. In addition to the last round, I also know what this is. Um… Now you have to be funny again. Somebody has to be funny. I’m trying to figure out the mechanics of it. So if I turn that that way, that goes like that, that pushes that up, and then that does that. So if I turn it the other way, it goes… Okay, so it does not go like this, it goes like this. It’s not something that expands, like they would use at the doctor. It’s something that clamps. Now, what would you put in that that you needed to clamp down, that would need to be clamped that progressively? Could be a hair straightener. But it’s not. It attaches on the end, and you heat it up, and then it straightens the hair. Yeah, but why? No, why would you need the screw thing? It’s something that’s pinching, slowly pinching something. And what do you need to pinch? Is it something to do with the boobs? Okay, I know what this is. You know what it is? Yeah. No, I know what it is. Okay, well, I’m gonna, okay. I don’t think it’s for the boobs. I think it’s for the… No, I don’t think it is for that. I think it’s for that. I think you’re misinterpreting how it works. I think you put it, I think it comes together. Here, put your… Do this. Oh, it is for the… Do that with your hands. No, I’m not gonna do it. I will not take part in it. This is a dilator? I think this is a, this is a gynecological reverse clamp. This is an opener of secret gardens. I think it’s for taking the boobs and pushing them together. What? Yeah, to create- How would that? Oh, you think the scale of this is much larger than it is. Yeah, this is at least two feet across. Link is somewhat correct. This is a speculum. So it’s what they use- Speculum. for pap smears and, like, other kinds of tests. Pap smears. So, yes, it does start- My mom would always say those words to me when I was a kid: speculum, pap smear. My lord. Like, every year- I completely misunderstood the mechanism. my mom would say, “I’m going in from my pap smear,” and I never asked her what it was. Well, she didn’t even need to tell you that. And she kept telling me. Every year, she’d tell me, “I’m going in for another pap smear.” Pap smear. I was like, you don’t have to tell me what that is. It’s got the word pap, and it’s got the word smear. I know what that is. And it was the ’90s, so you couldn’t look it up. What, you’re gonna go to the library and go to this P section? Yeah, I just imagined- That’s the only way you knew anything. You put that in your pap, and then you open it, and then you smear around in it. If it wasn’t in the Encyclopedia Britannica, and I don’t believe there was a pap smear section. Why is it so chrome? Why can’t we make it outta silicone? Preach. Preach. Exactly. I mean, update. Why we gotta stick- It looks medieval. That thing is still going inside y’all? It is horrible. I mean, have y’all- After all these years? Have these doctors been to, like, a sex toy shop? Exactly. Everything’s so smooth there. I mean, yeah, apply the technology to medical- Put the smooth stuff all over that. Exactly. And while you’re at it, make it vibrate. I mean, let’s go all the way. No, no, no you don’t wanna- Let’s go all the way. You don’t wanna do that. Why not? Then you’ll be paying- Make it fun. Then they’ll be paying a doctor. Make it fun! Do y’all pay your doctor, or does doctor pay y’all? We men pay our doctors. “We men.” The gynecologist pays y’all, right? Oh, no. I’m sorry. Go to the next one. Listen- I don’t even wanna know who submitted it, Sierra. I thought this was a comedy show. Oh. Okay, let’s just guess. We ain’t got time for this. This, you… You get your neck around, you can get that around your neck, I think. I don’t what this is. It’s a… I think this is something to sleep with if you don’t have a partner. It’s like a body pillow, but it’s thinner. Can you give us the dimensions of this? I was gonna say, you’re very off. This is something that- Yep, I got it. Okay. This is a Pixy stick that has been folded down and has a scrunchie around it. It’s a little snack that the ladies keep in their purses. Every lady. When you said “scrunchie,” [Stevie] that’s when you got the closest. Oh. It’s for the hair? It’s for the hair. Yeah. Okay. Oh, this is… Oh! This is when you want the hair to be a bit big and a bit like a beaver tail. This is when you want the… This is when you want the back of your hair to look like a beaver tail. We men love them beaver tails. Oh, we love it. You put this beaver tail on the bottom and a couple of those donuts on top, and, whoo, baby! Yeah, we’re gnawing on trees. She’s slapping the water. She’s slapping the water with that beaver tail. This is a heatless overnight curler that you wrap your hair around, and then you sleep in it- Oh my god. and then, yeah, yeah. Oh my god. Mm-hm. Oh my god, look at her hair. All right. All right. I like that. I like that. That’s cool. That’s cool. All right, next. Well, okay. Oh. We were already past our- We love this game. Okay. This is for the bra. This is when you wanna string a couple, a few bras together, just in case one’s not doing the job. This is when you drink a lot of milk for dinner, and your boobs have gotten bigger, and your bra won’t fit anymore, so you gotta add an extender in the back. Are you sure you guys didn’t want to end it with the last one that we did? No, no, no. No, this is- You know how when women drink milk, and their boobs get bigger? I thought you were gonna say, “This one’s like a foot across. This is also a foot across.” That’s where I thought you were going with it. Next time we play this game, they’re gonna tell us what this is. We gotta tease this. I wanna apologize for everything that happened today. Next time we play this game, we’ll apologize for everything that happened in this game. No, I wanna apologize now. I want it all to be in the same file. I wanna apologize for the moment earlier where I got tickled. It was really, it was just, I don’t know… It was unrelated to anything that I was saying, as it was clear, and you may be a little bit concerned for me, and it’s okay. And I wanna apologize for all the wiener jokes – No. that were made. Mm-mm. All the ways that we talked about boobs being positioned, when Link said the thing that’s not true about milk making women’s boobs bigger, because that’s not true. But we’re definitely doing this again, ’cause we learned a lot. Yeah. Boo. Watch the full recording of “Good Mythical Evening: Sloshed in Space,” on demand at goodmythicalevening.com. And don’t forget to grab a limited-edition tee while you’re there.