Channel: Good Mythical More
YouTube Video ID: 9PB_4oMGPlk
Episode Number: 3051
Transcript
What's the best food at the mall? Welcome to Good Mythical More. Let's take a trip to the food court at the mall because I haven't been there in a long time. We're gonna do a tier list of food court restaurants. See if you agree. I have been there recently. As a matter of fact, uh, not necessarily the food court recently, but the mall twice. I've been to two malls in the past two weeks. Isn't that just really depressing now? People don't do that unless you're like a, a walker. Or like- Nope ... someone who doesn't have their driver's license but wants to socialize- Nope ... with other m- middle schoolers. Nope. There are some places in the world, and I would say one of those places is Raleigh, North Carolina, and the other place is Los Angeles, California, both places that I have been recently. I'm currently in one of them. Go on. And, uh, first of all, the malls, uh, the, uh, the malls around here, like if you go to the Glendale Galleria or w- I was at the Westfield Century City because I had to, um, uh ... I, I got a, uh, I got a, a tux and a suit for a wedding over at the Suit Supply, you know, 'cause you like put your measurements in and then just, they just make the suit. Okay. Good, good price, you know. You don't, you don't pay too much, you know, but it's nice or whatever. But you gotta go into the mall to pick it up. Ugh. I just hate the mall, man. Um, but it is like popping over there every time. Pop- Every time I go, popping. People loving the mall. Mall popping? Mall popping. And it gives you the sense that the mall might die. Not die. Might not die, uh, at least in major city centers. So- The, the stores in there are new Yeah, like I'm not ... I couldn't tell you, like, what the people who have the stores in there, how they're feeling about, like, retail in general. I assume that the trend is largely downward overall. Okay. But absolutely no sign of slowing down. Opening up new places. Hmm. Opening up new restaurants. No place is empty. Like, if you go to a lot of places, um, a lot of malls around America, like- Sad ... it's sad. It's empty. And there are places in, in LA, like 3rd Street Promenade or whatever is, like, half empty. Like, people don't go there anymore. 'Cause they went through, uh, that fancy outdoor version of a mall thing, and now that's dead. I don't think it's ... I mean, the South Point, uh, the streets at South Point, I, I, I had to ... I went to a movie there, and that place was popping too. Popping. He says popping. People just going all inside the restaurants and everything. Well then maybe the food court is, uh, back in action. And, uh, well, let's get a few of these ranked, and I'll tell you some things that happened to me at the mall. Okay. So we got Orange Julius, Mrs. Fields, Hot Dog on a Stick. Oh, no, Carney. Hey. You worked there I, I think. Yeah, for a spell. I seem to remember that. When you're s- Were you in ... It was in a mall when you did it? Yes, sir. Oh, crap. Auntie Anne's. Overlooking an ice rink. That's a nice place to work. Yeah. An ice rink. Yeah, probably the best place I ever worked. Overlooking an ice rink. I don't know. Everybody has to take their shoes off. Uh, but it's from a distance, and it's cold, so the stink doesn't travel. Auntie Anne's, Wetzel's, Sbarro, Cinnabon, Panda Express, Jamba- Well, first of all, we did Auntie Anne's and Wetzel's Pretzels as a versus one time, as a Food Feud. We did. That's correct. Which one won? One moment, please. All right, so we're gonna look into that. We, we can't, we can't contradict ourselves. Does Jamba Juice- Is it really good for you? No. I mean, you, uh, you could get some stuff there, but no. Like, getting protein there last time I went was, was an afterthought. Like, a protein shot. Like, they didn't- There's a lot of sugar. There's a lot of sugar- There's so much sugar ... in Jamba Juice. All right. So for the Auntie Anne's versus Wetzel's Pretzels, it was down to a single point difference, and Auntie Anne's won. It was- So they're kind of, kind of the same ... 69 to 68. All right. So we're gonna put, we're gonna put Auntie Anne's one tier above Wetzel's, but we just don't know where yet. I think that, oh, I f- My personal opinion about a pretzel at the mall is that it is- The only place ... one of the surefire things that's gonna be good. Like- The only thing to get at the mall, pretzels are pretty high. So let's go A, B. You can, you can guarantee that you're gonna get something that tastes good. I'm not, you're not gonna get a complete meal. That's not what this is about. This is about satisfying a little urge. Walking and shopping. I mean, Auntie Anne's may be S tier before we're done. I don't know, 'cause Wetzel's Pretzels are good. Um- Let's go to A&W. I've never had a good experience there. They left the mall and had, like, standalone restaurants. Then they went to the airport. They're at the airport in RDU. And they were, like, pushing their burgers, and one time I got a burger. W- I, I don't remember it being great. I appreciate the root beer. I don't like root beer. But it's not Barq's. So I'm gonna s- I'm, I'm going for D. But I don't know that a lot, a lot about it, so let's just put it at C. Okay. What is Saru Japan and then Carm- Carmela- Caramel Corn. Car- Oh. I've never seen either one of those. Am I crazy? Yes, but not for that reason. Uh, I'm in a similar spot, where, uh, they just weren't here in my malls, but they are popular throughout- They're a place where you can sample Japanese food ... um, like, Saru's the teriyaki chicken kind of standard place. Okay. It's like- They give you samples. Yeah, just the sample type. Oh, chicken samples. Okay. I like that. For some reason, those samples are always so good. But they're not, they're, uh, they're not, it gets good when you- It's not a Chinese restaurant- ... you have to eat a bunch of them ... it's a Japanese. When you have to eat a bunch of them, like when you order them, not as good. I mean, it can't be, uh, I don't know, man. It can't be higher than B, that's for sure. We don't even know anything about it. Let's put it at B just because. Let's put it at B. I just don't think I want Caramel Corn at the mall. Well, you know- ... a mall is just an airport without planes Yeah That's how I feel about it. Yeah. Uh- You're trapped there What does it say under caramel corn? You might have to sleep on a bench. It says caramel corn. Just so you, like, there's text on- Again? No, no, the little text Oh, I thought you meant, I thought you meant underneath where it's black and white. No, the little text underneath We're popping it fresh. Popping. Popping. S- Oh no ... S tier. Just in case. We don't even know anything about it, but we think it's popping. It's popcorn, man. I mean, where do you wanna eat popcorn at a... It, you, I mean, getting a pretzel, you can walk around and eat a pretzel. Can you walk around and eat popcorn? I've done it. Hey- It's harder to do because you gotta- Let me, let me tell you about walking around in a mall ... you gotta have two hands. No you don't Okay. So, um- Don't talk me into walking around a mall, but go ahead, try I do think it's more, like, equivalent to, like, a, a candy shop that you'd walk in and grab something to take home and give to somebody else. Oh, it's a gift. Like, yeah, they do, like, those tubs of caramel corn and stuff like that. Oh. Like, in tins. And those are good. D, D tier. I will spend a lot of time alone with one of those. Giving corn as a gift? No, everybody loves corn. Every time I've ever gotten one of those things, I've been happy and grateful. B, put it in the p- split, split it between A and D. All right. Okay, let me just qualify this whole mall thing. I don't want you to think I'm nuts, okay? Mm. Uh, I don't enjoy going there. Let's just be clear. I don't like shopping. It's horrible. I like bookstores. I like bookstores 'cause I like books, but I don't like shopping. I don't like clothing shopping because it's a nightmare for someone who is not normal sized. Mm-hmm. And, uh, I don't like- I don't like anything about the process of shopping for anything really. Um, and that's what the mall's about. And so- Yeah, um ... I took, but- I don't know where this is going ... well, because I find myself having to go to the mall, usually it's to see a movie, right? Um, and I'll be, I'll d- like I've said this before, the reason I go down to the, to that Century City mall is because I do my, like, eye doctor appointment down there on the west side, and then sometimes if it's at the end of the week, like, Jessie'll go down there with me and we'll, like, go see a movie. There's a good AMC movie theater there- Okay ... at the, at the, uh, at that place. And you have to walk past stores to get to the movie theater? You gotta walk past a couple. But I'm just always just like, "Man, people love it here. They just love it." And then I, and then I started getting, uh, some suits at that Suit Supply, which is, this is the only location in, in LA, so I gotta go down there. I don't think I have to go anymore, though. I've d- I've gotten two suits that both fit j- just with ordering, and I'm like, "Can I just order these and have them sent to my house?" And they were like, "Yeah, it'll probably be fine." So I don't think I have to go for that. But what I'm getting at, and then when I was in- You might want to when I was in North Carolina- You love the mall ... I, uh, I got my dad an iPad for his birthday. Okay. And the Apple Store is at Crabtree, so I had to go to Crabtree. So again, it's always I got something that I gotta go and pick up from a place that happens to be at a mall, but it's not, "Let's just go spend time at the mall." I, I ain't gonna do that. That's not my thing. But both malls presented me with a conundrum When I got to the mall in Raleigh, I was like, "I don't know where the Apple Store is in Crabtree. I don't, I can't remember the layout. You know, I haven't been in there in years." So now they have the interactive guides where you go up to the little guide and- Kiosk? the k- Well, yeah, you know, but it's the- It's a map ... yeah, I guess the type, I guess the kiosk. Does a kiosk always have a person behind it? Uh, I know what you... This is a map. A screen. It's a screen. And directory. Directory. And I went to it, and you type in the name of the store, and then it shows you where you're at and sh- puts an arrow on to show you where to go. And it's trying to figure out where you're at and show you the map, but something about the way that it worked at Crabtree was completely backwards. So I go in, I go to the kiosk and I hit this thing and I'm like, "Okay, I go this way." And I go this way and I'm like, "Where? I don't... It's just not where it said it was." And then I hit go to another directory and it, and it sends me back the other way. And then I follow, and then I go back to that same directory that I was at before, and I'm like, "What did I m- n- not understand about this?" I, like, walked halfway through the mall. And it s- and then it s- I went outside. I was like, "Oh, is this one of those Apple Stores that's just accessed from the outside?" You like- 'Cause you know that happens ... you, like, walk through the Nordstrom and then stuck your head out? No, no. I walked just out the regular entrance. I didn't go through a- Oh, okay ... through a department store. And then I was like, "It's not out here." And then I almost asked someone a question. Can you believe it? I almost asked a person- Uh uh ... "Where's the Apple Store?" Uh uh. And I was like, "I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't ask for directions." I went back to the original directory, looked at it again, and I was like, "What is going on?" And then I was like, "By process of elimination, the only place it can be is right over there, and it can't, it has nothing to do with the map. It has everything to do with the fact that I've already been that way and it wasn't that way." And so I just walked that way and there it was, literally, like, two stores away from the, the directory that I was in. So you could have looked up from the directory and seen it? No, because I was in a place where it was blocked- Okay by another store. All right. I, I believe that. So then- So it didn't just have a map It was trying to tell you And then an alphabetical list ... it was like, "Walk this way and turn left at the Sbarro," kind of thing. It ga- it was giving you specific things. I was like- So it didn't have a map on it? Not in the way that would make sense to me. Like, I wanna see a map that says, "You are here." Well, yeah. And then I just wanna be like, "Okay." 'Cause that, that's, that's how I orient myself. But it was trying to make it smarter. It was trying to do work for you so you didn't have to figure out where you were. See, the more that they try to do, the, the less they seem to do. And then when I went to the other mall the other day to get my suits, I was like, "I don't remember where the Suit Supply is," because I came in from a different way. I was like, I went to the directory, and as I went up to the directory- Mm-mm ... I got scared. I was like- Yeah, no ... is this gonna be the same thing? I can hereby tell you that the directory at the Century City Mall works seamlessly. Turn left and then right. It was just like, "You're here. You're gonna go around there, and it's gonna be there," and it was Yeah. So I just wanna compliment the directory at the Westfield Century City Mall. Uh, I would not like to compliment the AMC movie theater's Coca-Cola Freestyle machine because it does not have- Okay caffeine-free Diet Coke. I understand. I'm drafting up a complimentary email for their customer service right now. Okay, great. Mrs. Fields, let's just put it S tier. A- I mean- S tier? S tier. E- Oh, yeah, 'cause- Have you, I mean, have you ever had a bad experience at Mrs. Fields? Big cookie cakes. They don't overcook their cookies. They cook them right there in front of you. It's great. It's great. Orange Julius, no need for it. D. Hold on. It's orange juice. Exact- A whole store about orange juice? Yeah, D. It's so weird. You know, they're not, the... You know there's not really oranges anymore in Florida. Did you hear about this? No. Oranges going away in Florida. Look it up. Like, 95% of the oranges are gone in Florida. Like, from a, from a weather standpoint? It's a- Agricultural? It's, it's a drought that is exacerbating a problem called greening, which is some disease, and they, all the trees have it, and they're all dying, and they're not, they don't know what to do about it. Obviously climate change related. Mm. Anyway, so Orange Julius, get it while you can. All right. We'll put it at C tier. Yeah. Jamba Juice, D tier. Too much sugar. Uh Cinnabon, lots of sugar But it's good It is good You have Mrs. Fields at the top Which is a lot of sugar. Jamba Juice, you can get some fruit, you can get protein- Yeah, but Jamba feels like it's lying you can get a free boost It feels like it's lying, you know what I'm saying? Like- Yeah ... Mrs. Fields, she's tak- she's taking you out into the field- It's deceiving ... to give you some sugar, and you know it Oh, yeah, and you should say yes. Cinnabon is A tier, I think. Yeah, it's good. Sbarro Sbarro. Did we say w- We were surprised by how good the pizza was We, we liked Sbarro on the show, I think. I think it's B tier. Great display. I think Panda Express I mean, I recently n- learned that my wife likes P- Panda Express. I don't feel like I can go lower than B tier. I don't like what Panda Express is doing to food court Chinese food. It needs to just be a generic, like, Wok Time, you know? It needs, the name of it needs to be, like, uh, MSG Number Three, you know? Okay. So- It needs to be l- But why? ... both mom and pop. But why? Because that's, that's a, that's a place where they always thrived. So you're saying it doesn't have anything to do with how bad or good Panda Express is. Exactly. It's what it's doing to the market? Yeah, it's what it's doing to the mom-and-pop Chinese shops So are we going with C? I'm going with C for that. Okay. Hot Dog on a Stick, the only place you can get corn dogs at the mall, we cannot go less than A. It may be S tier. If we start putting it up too high, then Carney might say- He might go back ... he might go back. I, I I think it has to go S. And this really isn't my affiliation w- with it. Think about it. They make everything you see right in front of you. Yep. They pump the lemonade, you know, all the ingredients. Yes. The corn dogs are battered in front of you. They pay their employees relatively well. S tier. Um, yeah, I can't think of a more that you would want from a mall. Yeah. Yeah. They're making it in front of you. It's not some frozen corn dog that they're heating up. Do, do you ever get called out into a field for some sugar? That never happened to me while I worked there, no. Okay. Well, that's right. That's 'cause that's not what happens. But after you worked there, it happens to me quite a bit. How often, just out of curiosity, uh, you know, one of the things that we, we, we've learned is that many of you, uh, because you make appearances from time to time on this show, might get recognized in public. Um, how often, Matt Carney, when you have someone come up to you in public, do they mention Hot on a Stick? Um, people don't come up to me all that often. It does happen sometimes. One time at the LAX airport, which is basically just like a mall with airplanes. Uh, did somebody lead with that? Yes. Oh, okay. So just one time. Okay. One time. Now, that, this is not a call for you to begin doing that, okay? Don't begin doing that if you weren't gonna do that. But, but you could. I think if I go back there, people will start being like, "Hey, GMM." That's right. I just wish Cinnabon was better than it was. I, I- Oh ... it's not as good as it should be. What, what do you not like about it? The ... It's too caramely and I, I like that white Pillsbury icing. I want more white icing and I want less nutty goo stuff. Hm. I want buttery and ice- white icing. Well, I don't know what to tell you. And dough, but I don't want all of that goopy, dark brown stuff. It doesn't taste good. It's too mapley or something. Not mapley, it's too ... You're saying that you would rather have the good stuff- It's too caramely ... you would rather have a Pillsbury- Yes ... from the can- Yes ... than a Cinnabon. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep. Even the ones that aren't even cinnamon rolls, they're ... Yeah. What else? Nothing. That's it. That's all I got. Would you go to a mall if it had a record store? Uh, in Japan, yeah All right. Well, I guess we gotta arrange that.