Channel: Good Mythical More
YouTube Video ID: IreKcxwmwP8
Episode Number: 3088
Transcript
Is Link still peeing in his yard? Welcome to Good Mythical More. I- You got a update? Do I have news for you. Oh. I- You, you got on the news? I've got some… Yeah, I got on the local news for peeing in my side yard. Local man. No, I, um, I have some information that I found, anecdotal information, yes, but powerful- Mm … on Reddit -Oh … -related directly to my situation of peeing in my side yard, which I have been ridiculed and- Yeah all types, you know, shamed and- Shamed, yep … critiqued and, uh, lambasted for. You've also been pretty, pretty vehemently, uh, defended I will say as well. So- And I, that's gonna continue today- Okay, so I just- … with a little outside source called a Reddit. Called a Reddit. At my side. So I'm a go in on that. But first, I'd like for you to talk about peeing a little bit because I was- Yeah. I have the experience … I was present. I wasn't… Well, I was outside of the bathroom for what happened to you, and I was like, "We, we should talk about this." Yeah. We were in North Cackalacky. And Jenna, are you, you're here, right? I am. I had to come in for the pee talk. Yeah. You want, you wanna hear some pee talk? Yep, I gotta, I gotta know the update. Com- There's complete, so much pee talk today, so if you're not into that, that's all we're gonna be talking about. This was not the trip to North Carolina that you were present for, Jenna. This was, um, the trip back from North Carolina, the shorter trip, and- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mystery. Yep. We, um- We went out to- Get a little- … lunch at a diner … lunch at a diner, a good diner. Yeah. And, um, I needed to urinate, of course, you know. That's, sometimes you have to do it. And I went to the bathroom in this establishment, and it was one of those bathrooms that doesn't have a urinal and it only has a toilet. It's an, and it's an old establishment. Old, yeah. And I mean, maybe I should pee sitting down, okay? I'm, I'm not, I'm not one of these guys who's like, "Oh, I never pee sitting down," but I just typically, I've got pretty good aim, you know, so I don't- It's a long way down there, though … and I, and I not as long as you think. And, um- … and then I know how to do a bank shot, you know? So I know how to, I know how to not have a lot of spillage. I think if you were to do, like, a infrared or however they would go about, like, trying to show the spillage, like a Discovery Channel, like, graphic of how my pee bounces around the room- Uh-huh I think it would be low bounce. Okay. I think I have a low bounce. So I like to stand up. Also, if you don't have to put your butt on a f- on a seat- I love the fact that you just had to defend the fact that you pee while standing. It's like, what kind of world do we live in where you gotta do that? You shouldn't a, you know- No, 'cause a lot of people will say when they hear this story, none of this would happen if you just sat down to pee. Right, but we're not in Japan. -Right. This is a diner in North Carolina. Right. In J- Who knows what's on the- As I've said, in Japan there would be a sign above it that says, "Please sit to pee." Yeah. Which- Right … I mean, I applaud and I like it, and I did that, and I do that sometimes. But when you're in an old diner- So I lifted the lid, and I immediately noticed- The seat. You lifted the seat too … the seat. I w- the s- the lid was lifted, but I lifted the seat, and then that was when I noticed that before I started peeing, the seat fell back down. It was one of those where they've built the toilet too close to the wall, and it's causing the top of the toilet on the tank to be jutted out just enough so that the lid and the seat cannot get… They get, like, 90 degrees, but they don't get, like, that extra 91 degrees, so they sit up all the time. So it teeters up there. And so- Teeters over the peter … so I pushed it up, and it fell down. I pushed it up, and it fell down. And then I pushed it up a third time and, like, really, like, r-r, like, sort of just, like, pushed it a little bit more. Yeah, and it stayed? And it stayed. I was like- Okay … "We're good." All right. And then I began- This has happened to me before … then I began to urinate, or micturate if you want me to be technical. -Can I pause you there? When you're touching the toilet seat and it's going up, like, when you… I picture my… I would never touch that seat. You're just touching it, like, raw dog with your hand? The toilet seat? I w- I'm gonna wash my hands. And you gotta lift it. I use toilet paper for that. I just- Well, maybe I should. Maybe I will. -Or maybe I'm too much, but that's what I do. -I'm using the smallest part of the s- of, of my thumb. Like, it's like a- Yeah, yeah. It's just a little- I don't think bac- I don't think bacteria can travel across the bridge that I've created. Right. Okay. So I began- And Jenna, do you, I mean, do you even know that the toilet seats go up? Yeah, because I have fallen when someone didn't put it back down. Ooh. -Of course I know they go up. -That's not a good feeling. That moment when your butt's resting- And also, I clean my toilet. I know… I'm, no, I'm joking. I'm messing with you, but so isn't- I'm messing with you … there's nothing worse than when y- when you sit down on a, on a seat up toilet seat. I've never done that. I've done it a couple of times. How? It, it's scary, right? -It's scary, and then your butt touches the, the toilet water, and it's not fun. Did you do this in the dark? 'Cause you go down. What happened? Were you blindfolded? Down. Yeah, I, sometime- when, when it's late at… But it doesn't happen anymore 'cause I don't have boys around. Yeah. -But back in the day -Okay. -Yeah. I mean, that's worse than touching the toilet seat, is when your butt goes into the toilet water. Well, I think the water's clean. Like, like, it, like your knee, like the back of your knee is the only thing keeping you from going all the way down the plumbing. But then, like, your knees, like, hit your chest. Like, you get folded in. That's a big toilet. You know? Okay. No, it is. Yeah, well, she's smaller than you. Okay, I couldn't do that. I'd have to have, like, a- She bends like a folding chair. And at that point- I'd have to have, like, a cartoon toilet … at that point you're just like, "Go for it." I mean, you're down there. It's like when you walk down a step and there's one more step than you think, but that step, it's not your foot, it's your ass. That's basically what it is. If you poop underwater, it doesn't smell as bad. Dude, you're stepping on next week's episode. Okay. All right, so, so then what happened? So I'm- 'Cause micturating you've smooshed it up there, and then you've started And it's hold, it's holding good. And then I've got a pee stream going, I'm proud of myself, and then I, it all happened so fast. The, the seat started coming down. Whoop. And I had two choices, and I think I made the wrong one. So, uh, choice one was to h- hold it. Seize it. Seize it up. Stop the stream, they say. Yep. Clench it. Seize the stream. Clench it and cinch it. But I didn't. I reached down to grab the lid and push it back up, but as I did that, I reached right through my stream. Oh. It was like, whooch. And I was like, now I'm wet-handed. 'Cause I was going, you know? I had com- it doesn't al- it doesn't start immediately strong, but it works its way up to strong. And I was at full strength, and it, and I, and I was holding that seat up. And I was like, "Well, I gotta finish now," so I just finished. Your hand's dripping. And then, yeah, I'm just l- leaving a little pee on the seat for the next guy to come in and pick up. So you're sitting there triangulating this thing. You got three points of contact now. Yeah. And so then I finish, and then I let it down. And then, I don't know the order of operations at this point, but I did clean up after myself, and then I did wash my hands. And then I- But, and while your pants were still open? Your junk was hanging out? Well, I don't recall. Again, I don't recall the nor- I think I was probably like- You had one clean hand … I think I was probably like, "Okay, uh, I gotta clean this up and wash my hands," and now I touch myself because I don't wanna get urine on my pants as I'm zipping them up. Right. So anyway, then I came back to the table and I told you what had just happened. But there is a third option, and that's as the seat's coming down and you're full stream- Pee it back up? Yeah, the s- if, if this is a side view, like, the stream's coming down here and up the seat starts coming down, you just have to do one of these things se- seat comes down, whoop, over the top. Well, you know what I coulda done? If it was one of those seats that had a, had a- Just, or slap it down, make it come reverse … had a field goal. You know the seats have a field goal, that have, are open in the front? Oh, yeah. I woulda peed right through the middle of it, a horseshoe. That's what- It wa- it was, and a horse- I never thought … that's what a horseshoe's for … that's what that's for Just in case it falls down, you can pee right through it. Yeah, and it, and it doesn't smack you on the wiener. Yeah. 'Cause if what you say is true, then maybe it smacked you on the peter. No. I am pr- I still am pretty tall. You got, you got a seat smack? I still am pretty tall. Your peter. All right, so that's my update. I would love to hear yours. Well, I, I, what is the … First of all, I, before we move on, I just wanna know what is the, what, what, what was the right thing to do? You said you'd made the wrong choice. Okay, let's just say I'm gonna go back to that diner, 'cause I will, because I love it. Yeah. Um, I think I'm gonna sit down. Or I'm gonna hold it up. You're too tall to hold it up Maybe I should talk to the front. -I've tried … -y'all got a loose seat. -I've tried holding the seat up, but then I'm bent over, and I'm shorter than you, but I, I'm bent over and then the area of interest moves back too far. So then I'm like, I'm like, you know, I'm like, I don't wanna hit my chin. You know? Wow. You're doing well. You know? You don't want that. That's not a good feeling. Right, Jenna? Sure. No. You never felt that, I hope. I hope. But the fact that every guy goes in that toilet and pees, and what do they do? Just pee with the seat down. Or sit- none, none of, none of these guys sit down. They're not sitting down in those toilets. None of these guys are sitting down. Not the people I saw in that diner. So they're just pinging through the smaller hole. I don't think they can sit down … and wiping the seat. The seat is soiled. I would not sit on that seat, is what I'm saying. Yeah, you're right. I would just pee through the, pee through the small hole. I think the, the only thing I can do now is I gotta take one of the coffee mugs to the bathroom with me, pee in it, and then just pour it directly into the- Ew. That's a good idea … yeah, and then just leave it in there and be like, "I need another mug." "What happened to it?" "Mm, in the bathroom." Now, if you're gonna, if you're gonna pee in a coffee mug, there's a whole other set of challenges. I think what you have to do is there has to be a little coffee in it, and you need to submerge. Because otherwise, the level of splatter out of a coffee mug- Yeah … is horrendous. Okay. Like, you're concerned about splatter? You gotta- Yeah … you've gotta, you've gotta, you gotta- How about just creamer? Half inch deep in creamer Instead of coffee, instead of coffee. Half inch deep. Because I don't wanna burn myself now. Yeah. And I'm talking di- diner creamer. Oh, yeah. 'Cause I don't want cold, I don't want hot. I want room temp diner creamer. You, you- Two or three Coffee Mates, that'll do it … so, so every time Rhett goes to the diner now, he orders an empty cup of coffee. Four Coffee Mates And, and four Coffee Mates … goes to the bathroom. And go ahead and use the- What's he doing? Ah, he's peeing in the mug … I'm just g- I'm just getting ready to. He's had some experiences with toilets. It's my co- it's my creamer urinal. Uh, how did we get here? Why are you still watching? Well, it's, it's about to get, it's about to get better. Okay, good. All right, so just as a recap. We don't really like bathrooms. Yes, when I let my dogs outside and they pee in the side yard and I need to pee, I also pee in my side yard. It's gravel, and then it goes on through there and there are some flower pots and yes, I have an, a mean bank shot off of a, a, a … We have a big flower pot that's like three feet tall, two and a half, three feet tall and it's like rectangular and I lean against that and that's where I was. You're banking it off of the bottom of the flower pot? Yeah. So as not to create spatter. But you're peeing on a pot. Yep. I'm peeing on the side of the pot which I've seen my dog do that. What's the pot, what's the pot made of? Uh, plaster kind of thing. It's black. It hasn't, it hasn't got any mineral deposits on it. Okay, yeah. This is where I was when Lily walked around the corner and caught me. More, m- that was the r- most recent installment in this fiasco is that- And she shamed you a little bit … yes, I'm still doing it. Um, yes, she saw me tell the story because you exported it to like Instagram or Fa- TikTok or something. Yeah. And, um- Our kids only see the social clips … and she's like, "Sure, yeah." I don't know what she said but, uh, wasn't anything that was new to her. I mean, that ended with I've never, I haven't talked to her since, but that was just a joke. But I was on Reddit and I just happened to be … I was in mildly interesting, you know? We talk about that on the show sometimes. That's appropriate. I like to be mildly interested sometimes before I go to bed and I will say that I do have to pee right now. Okay, I don't see a flower pot. So I think that just kind of … If you're feeling a little extra energy, that's what it is. Mildly interesting. It's a good time to make long-term decisions. A lot of people posted to this, uh, in response. It's a picture of a bush. All right? There's just a bush there outdoors and above it, it says, "My husband's pee bucket with soil turned into a pee plant in a week." "My husband likes to pee in a pot of soil." Okay. I understand. We'll let that slide. "In a week, this thing turned into a pee bush seemingly overnight." What, is he peeing seeds? What, uh, what- What do you, what does she mean by that? Yeah, he's spilling his seed in the bucket. That's not, that's not how the world works. Uh, its name is Romina. No idea what plant it is. And then people started commenting and commenting. So then in the, she posted, "Edit. I told him how many up-votes Romina has gotten and he said, 'Well, did you tell them it was my bathroom?' I said, 'Yes,' and he got very happy." Okay. This man could be my friend. "Second edit. Talk amongst yourselves, my lovelies. I am going to bed." So apparently th- uh, this gathered a lot of people talking. The m- top comment is, uh, a fun fact about ancient Egyptians had a primitive way to see if a woman was pregnant through their urine. I think we've talked about that before. We- But it's off topic … still do that. The second topic- Yeah, yeah. Somebody said, "I have so many questions." And then she responded, "Ask away, my friend." Why does he have a pee spot in the first place? Yeah. Second question, does he keep peeing in the pot now that there's a plant? How did you come up with the name Romina? Her answers: "He just likes to pee in nature?" Question mark. "I don't really know, but he enjoys it. Doesn't hurt me, so I don't care at all." Now that's a woman right I'm thinking that I like. That's my kinda woman right there. "Doesn't hurt me, so I don't care at all. Yes, he is very proud that it is now a plant. The last pee spot at the old house was Tony. He has names for everything. Not sure why exactly he chose these." Then somebody replied and said, "Got that dog in him." But how did the plant happen? I got that dog in me. How did the plant happen? Um, somebody asked does he take S words in pots as well since he's a nature man. She said, think you know. Um, how did the pot happen? How is there a plant? She's making it seem like he made a plant with his urine. That doesn't work. Uh- … I think the best guess, which was also talked about down here, is that, um- Nitrogen. Nitrogen is a part of fertilizer, so there's, it's some sort of nitrogen component in there. Um, some p- somebody said, "Grow tomatoes. They love pee. Not even lying. Take out that weed and put some seeds or a seedling, depending on where you're at in growing season." But plants cannot live by pee alone, right? Well, I think that- There has to be some rain as well, maybe. 'Cause when you pee, like when a dog sometimes pees in a certain spot of the yard, it'll kill the grass. Nitrogen- But that's grass … nitrogen, plants love nitrogen until it burns them and kills the plant. That's why you get dark green spots when your dog pees on your lawn, then a dead spot when they only pee in one spot. So pee in moderation. Well, g- again, I'm peeing on rocks. I'm peeing beside the flower pot, and now I'm realizing I should be peeing in it. I should be peeing in our- How's your plant-loving wife gonna feel about that? Because I don't think she's gonna say, "Since it doesn't affect me, I don't care at all," because I think it- Yeah … might affect her. The thing that I haven't told y'all yet is that it's a group of pots all over there, and it's, it's all, like, um, herbs. That she uses in her meals? Fr- uh, uh, presumably fresh herbs. You pick them and then you bring them inside and you eat them. And you don't have to wash them because they haven't been fertilized or pesticided. Uh, have you been peeing in the pots? Not, not yet, but I'm, I'm thinking I could help I mean, this guy said, "I pee outside on our shrubs in the backyard. They flower like crazy, and now my wife asks me to pee on the other plants in the yard when they look haggard. It works really well. I highly recommend it." Then some, uh, somebody commented and said, "We should go on a double date." Y'all should, y'all should cross streams. I'm sure at some point that will happen. I'm not interested. All right. You know the saying, "You don't have a pot to piss in"? I'm blessed, man. I'm blessed. Y'all need to be happy for me, and my family. Well, the question is- And my garden … the question is- And my dogs … is your update that you're gonna start peeing in the pot, and I really hope that it's- I'm not gonna pee in the pot- Yeah because it's basil. You know? Yeah. You eat that stuff, man. I eat that stuff. But down below it, I think by the way that the angle is, it's not, it's not, there's not, like, a plume of urine. Urine is fine. I mean, right? Madonna said you should pee on your feet in the shower. Well, in a lot of, uh, they washed, they wash clothes with it in different cultures. Um, that's what we learned about- So, so are we good? … Pompeii. Are we still good? Jenna? You're still good. Yeah, yeah, so you're pro me doing this. I mean, sometimes you come over to my house. Um, I don't walk over in that area. She's not gonna be eating any salad at your house, I'll tell you that much. I, I did, in preparation for this conversation, I did go out there and pee again, and then, um- I bent over and I s- I, I let it sit a while and then I bent over and I smelled it Okay, we're not good anymore I, no, I just couldn't No, but I couldn't smell anything. I mean, it's like what y'all are saying is that doesn't it stink? Doesn't it this, doesn't it that? No. No, no, no. No. And now I'm pointing out that it does good. It's p- it's, it's, I'm a nature boy. I'm contributing to nature. I'm growing nature. Well I could grow nature I still haven't ventured over to that part of your house when I, when I'm over at your house. I, I probably should do that because I sure can smell where my dogs pee. Uh, but my pee doesn't smell like my dogs' pee. And your dogs are peeing on plastic grass. They're, but it's, it goes through. It's artificial and it goes through and there's gravel underneath it I, I don't know, man. I'm just saying it is a great feeling, and none of you are gonna take that away from me, ever. And I have support. But your wife might. I've s- yep, she might. She could do that. Yeah. Stream our summer marathons every Tuesday on Mythical 24/7. Learn more at mythical.com/24-7.