GMMore 734: Link’s Gross Tonsil Story

is fish what you use as a yes fish it’s fish what you use as a no fish you’re confusing me Shh oh you’re talking about the band yeah yeah oh yeah I like the Grateful Dead but not fish fish fish fish fish okay be fish I knew a Phish concert no but trail you know heals he was not taking over for Jerry on the final tour of the Grateful Dead and Allie went to it yeah I like family I didn’t ask her about it because I felt like I knew so little that any question I’d ask would be stupid is that how fish people talk I didn’t ask her I’ll tell my one quick story because I have a whole lot less I got one surgery that ever happened to me and that was ingrown toenail really that’s it mom I’m one surgery I mean was this in high school I seem to remember um probably middle school really middle school middle school man I had surgery middle school managed CUDA middle school hard car I had a here’s one of those situations where I mean is anybody out ingrown toenail earlier I mean so just one side of my toenail was I kind of Nicole was like super red and I was like this isn’t healing dad I don’t know what to do is like you need to go to your fur Marie so which was that’s where that’s where you went I don’t we went there it was the magical free doctor for you the University yeah but they can only like tell you things like yeah you need something to be done about this we can’t do it but you need something about this you know if so I went to a podiatrist that was when I learned that a podiatrist was a foot doctor I thought I felt smart that day they didn’t take much back in the day and we I go to it now on a phone or sky levels and I lied oh and the only thing that surgery involved was well they dead in the toe but then they cut the part that was just groaning they just cut it away there’s the nail no the part that it’s growing into they just cut it off there’s like get rid of that all the flesh the flesh did they cut the nail back too did you look more importantly did you look at what they were doing while they’re over didn’t look at oh whether he looked away right yeah that’s the thing of a place it looks different if to this day this is there’s no flesh on one side of my toenail on one of my feet really just keep going ahead as you drove into one side row a forever that’s how I knew you would want did that happened why if I was in a competition who can make the largest I could eat of a toenail like if you were in prison you could use it as like a shiv or C I could use it as a sail or an or put to tow boys toe over toe boy get out here we keep him on the deck he had some kind of surgery when he was young and now he’s got a sail get out or for a foot man breathe we got a hole in the side of our ship me toe boy sticks his toe out there I can’t lose a little bit on the things with it man I’ve only thought about that now and you’ve only thought to name a third I said a sail a paddle and a competition for size what about height what about a billboard advertisement like you know how you got people who like sign spinners you could have like the toe sign boy of course you know what it’s never grown that way nope so this is all just a theory miss moot I’ve had surgery for head surgery I was 22 years old and I was I told this story before about having my tonsils removed and they say I’ll just quickly tell you the whole story I had what they call tonsil stones which we call little fellers which is like you have big tonsils and they form pits and then like stuff starts growing in it or like food gets caught and then like it starts getting infested reveal of and we call it local fellers they turn white we call it little fellers because into college we caught it little well like we caught they all had I was hanging I was in Slovakia one summer and with some other college students and Garrett Moore was with us and I had those and I was getting them out of my tonsils with my tongue as I have been known to do and he was like woody I told you that your tonsils have these pock everybody has that food then get on so that most people turns like into white you don’t know we bite balls but some people would train tongues like me Kim he could turn his tongue backwards I didn’t stick my head to my tonsil right now and what I would do he’s doing it I can tell this that the face he makes when he’s putting his tongue on his top so I don’t have him anymore because as soon as they start forming I just get him out he goes but we would get him out in college and I was next in their esteem and I said Garrett don’t really think we should call these things usually oh no little fellers and that we wrote a song about it and I I couldn’t get him out my song so I would get him out with a toothpick and I would skewer them with a toothpick and I didn’t know that what I was doing was you didn’t know that he could get more gross than the actual episode she’s covered their ears I would skewer them and like try to get them out with a toothpick and what what I didn’t know I was doing was out you know about these I was making the pits bigger I was making the holes worse it got so bad that like they would just gather gunk that would stink in it you get sore throats and stuff like that so I said I’m gonna go to the doctor and I’m gonna have my tonsils removed cuz I had big tonsils but big tonsillar finished but you know how it is when you go to the doctor and the thing that’s wrong that you want the doctor to assess is not wrong that day is you’re not showing any symptoms that may Festing I didn’t have any little fellers that day but in the parking lot before I went into the doctor I took a loaf of white bread and a toothpick and I balled up little pieces of white bread and I put them in my tonsil like constellations and then I went into the doctor waiting in the waiting room and I was like I love bread bag I hope these things aren’t dissolving and like Christy was like I said Christy go check me in I was married it tonight I was married it’s fun I was already a grown man married doing some stupid like this I was like you checked me in because I don’t want to wait too long in a waiting room with this bread back there might dissolve mom behold I get back there I see the doctor I tell him the stuff and he’s like well let me take a look and I’m like oh and then he’s like oh yeah you got a lot of tousle stone so we got to get those things out they look like white bread smells like Wonder bread back yeah so they scheduled a surgery for a week or so later and he said you need to be careful you need to know that you’re not a great candidate for this because you’re like in your early 20s and at that age you’re prone to more bleeding as opposed to like kid who has his tonsils out which was for a while it was a trim where kids were just have the tonsils taken out just as preventative measures had their tonsils taken out here but they stopped doing that all you guys have your tonsils so he caused me but I was like no I really want to do this and I not hate his surgery I did they had to put me under all the way I had a crazy that you decided to do this and then you know it was like even getting the IV almost made me faint like I was like wigging out about this whole thing and then they they cut your tonsils out and then they cauterized they burn where it was in order to like sear it like a good steak and then you go home and you don’t need solid foods for about a week and then it’s fine you come back for a check-up where I came back for the checkup I was like doc it’s like it’s not healing in there it’s like a it’s like a bloody mess back there like wet bloody yeah it’s not scabbing up and um I actually called a few days before I go back and a doctor was like don’t panic but go directly to the emergency room I’m gonna meet you there and I was like well I’m panicking and so I went there and he was like we got to perform the cert basically we have to perform the surgery again I had my tonsils taken out twice second time they were already out but they had to do it the reason it was an emergency surgery is because it was leading dude I could be bleeding to death without really knowing it right and um because it just goes but I was eating the blood which one goes back into your bloodstream so it was okay no but then I had to go under again had to do the holes cauterization surgery again a second time it worked they took it it I it scabbed up but that was traumatic but a lot of people I still just on I still talked to Karen and Jen two friends of mine who were roughly my same age at the time I talked both of them into getting to the surgery within two months of me having the surgery even though I told them the story I just told you because when you have those tonsil stones is like how many a breast strength and you get you get sore throats all the time strep throat and look at me what I don’t know what ain’t no tonsils in there ain’t no boulders in the back oh I think they cut off some of my uvula too that was traumatic yes I don’t know what the studies are but we both we both had them and like I said I would not perform that surgery on myself I almost uh like I would say that I’m almost subconsciously checking my tousle so I haven’t had any in like 15 years because I’m just like constantly I just check those oh yeah no I can something have it’s like your eyes bulge a little bit stealing like if you get geeky you you get like a like your chin goes away and your eyes bulge out and your goozle pops up and down this is the only evidence my wife knows what I’m doing it she’s like don’t do that around me yeah cuz you did it in college soon and and was it you know I didn’t do it it would be next was it you were Greg that kept a collection of them on your no sir why we got the car that’s the best part Oh

Discover more from Searchicality

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading