Today, two Mythical crew members will go head to head in the hottest roast battle the Mythical studio has ever seen. It’s Emily versus Jordan. Two Ha Ha heavyweights roasting each other to the hundredth degree. Their goal, deliver the hottest burn or suffer the consequences being served up by the one and only HaHaBachi, chef, Trevor. Who will deliver the sickest burns and who will eat them? This is HaHaBachi. Hello, and welcome to Good Mythical Weekend. I am HaHabachi chef Trevor, and I am joined by Emily. Hi. And Jordan. Welcome. You are here to roast the heck out of each other. How do you guys feel about that? Well, I mean, they say you only roast the ones you love. I think that’s appropriate because I consider Emily to be one of my closest friends. Oh, my God. You’re trying to get in my head. Maybe. Out of my head. Listen, the best hibachi chef from Arkansas here will gladly. I feel like I’m at my 14th birthday. Yeah, same. Are you gonna flip a shrimp into my dad’s mouth? Happy birthday. I hope so. I hope so. Okay, the rules are simple. You will take turns dishing out disses, and if your burn is the weaker burn, you must take a big bite of burnt nightmare food prepared from my HaHaBachi grill. Let’s begin, shall we? Oh, God. It’s time to reveal our first dish. French fries, but these seem a little too unroasted. You excited? No. My beautiful fries. All right, let’s get these nice and burnt. Do these look yummy? No. They look gross. They do look gross. Emily, why don’t you get us started? And let Jordan have it. Jordan has just gotten this new beard. I think it’s only a year old. Is it a baby beard? One year? Okay. And now that he has it, he looks like a lumberjack who tries to cut down trees only using the power of hugs. It’s true. I’m not masculine. I’m not, and that’s okay. And that’s okay. All right. That was your burn. Yeah, Trevor. Okay, well, I’m just gonna get these a little bit more toasty. Not necessarily for you. What was that? But, you know, Jordan, I don’t want to say that you have an easy out. I wasn’t too impressed by that, but who knows, you know? All right. Chef’s got high standards. He sure does. Emily drinks too much, and she’s chronically late. The only reason she’s here right now is that we told her this was a happy hour at Buffalo Wild Wings. Oh, no. Wow. Yeah. Let me, let me deliberate for a moment. All right. I didn’t know we were going that hard. If you make me cry, you are taking me to the American Girl tea party and we’re filming. Hold on, they do it like this. No, that plate is gonna break. I don’t like this. Okay. Can I try one? Can I try a fry? Okay. Do you want to catch it in your mouth? Oh, yeah, flip it in my mouth. Okay, hold on. I’ll do this one. This one’s smaller. Frick. Yeah. Please partake. I’ll get the really burnt one. Yuck. Oh, my God. Gross. Oh, it smells like burnt hair. I thought it’d be like a crème brûlée, but it’s not. Do you want to have another one? No. Okay. I did one. All right, let’s move on to the next one. Well, look what we have here. A nice ice cold glass of Cola, and you know what I’m always saying, goes great with Cola, and cold, is hot. Some Cholula and a jalapeño. Let me just get some going. Let me just start off with some. Oh, yeah. Oh, that, just the way that floats in there. It looks like a lava lamp. What is that? It’s like a lava lamp. That’s awesome. That’s so much fun. Needs a little butane, doesn’t it? Yeah? You want me to bring the torch back out? No, please don’t. Well, if you don’t want to feel the burn, then you better bring the burn. Jordan, you get to go first this round. Emily, prepare yourself. Yep, I will. Here we go. Emily’s character, Patty, is universally recognized as one of the most annoying characters in Good Mythical Morning history. Right behind that other character, Emily Fleming. Oh my God. Oh, no. Well, let me just get a little squeeze of that in there. Let me just get that on the rim a little bit. Do we have to finish that? It’s so weird being scared and sad at the same time. Emily, you have the table, the grill. I think there’s a third emotion you could have here, which is diarrhea. All the feels. All right. All right, Jordan has written for such popular cartoons as Tiny Toons, UniKitty! , and Jellystone! Jordan, are you just writing content for all the children you’re never gonna have? Oh, no. I have what doctors call chill sperm. They’re just too chill. Oh, man. As someone who’s been called annoying on the internet before, I think that hurts less than someone saying I’m childless and will never have children. So, I’m gonna give it to Emily. Please enjoy the beautiful cocktail. Oh, a lot of hot sauce at the top. Oh, God. You didn’t have to drink that much, Jordan. I didn’t? How much did I have to drink for it to count? I don’t know, but your eyes are getting so red. Emily had one fry. I did, but it was the burniest fry. I just wanted to be a good team member. Stop. Please, stop. Oh, my eyes. Okay, okay. Don’t touch your eyes after that. Yeah, I shouldn’t have. Up next, we have onion rings. And I know what you’re thinking, how can you make onion rings bad and hot? Well, let me tell you, I’ve got a little bowl here, and I’ve got favorite “lickle”, favorite “lickle”. You’ve been sampling that, huh? Favorite “lickle”. Favorite liquor of college students everywhere. Fireball. Let me just soak that in there. If you do that, Emily’s gonna intentionally lose. Oh, my goodness. Oh, no, I forgot my joke. I did, too. Oh, I guess I lost. Got a little freebie in there, a little freebie roast. And you know what, Emily, I’m gonna let you go first. Okay, Jordan got bullied a lot when he was a kid in school because of his hair, looks like, you know, a Brillo pad. But every time he got a swirly, the janitor said, thank you. This is the cleanest this toilet’s ever been. Thank you, Jordan. It’s true. My hair was often full of. Just caked in. Jordan, please. My turn? Okay. Yes. Emily likes terrible music like Godsmack and Nickelback. Based on her Spotify history, you’d guess she’s constantly about to tell her stepdad to off. All right, music taste joke. See, here’s the thing, though. I kind of like Nickelback. You know, he’s got a couple of good songs. What’s going on here? I don’t know. I’m gonna give this one to Emily. Who would have guessed an easy shot at Nickelback? Okay. You can’t roast me. You can’t roast the judge. Oh. You ate a whole one? Whole one. Well, you missed out. I know! I’m bummed. I’m glad my joke sucked. This is all right. What am I here for? Can I get a bowl of tequila and ranch, too? All right, next course we have a delicious burger, and now don’t worry, I promise I won’t just be torching this entire thing. Here we go. I won’t, I won’t. I’m gonna do it piece by piece. Oh, man. Honestly, I would be fine with eating this, except for the tomatoes. The tomatoes just gross me out. Well, what if I burnt them would that help? Well, actually, it might. Actually, maybe I’m more excited about them like that. You know what? I’ll finish this up in a bit. Jordan, would you like to go? Emily is a very hard worker, but like me, she struggles with attention span challenges. That’s why she’s done over seven thousand oil paintings of Tim Curry, but still hasn’t passed her driver’s test. Jesus Christ. For the record, I have a driver’s license, but it’s from Tennessee, so I don’t know if it counts. You have to be drunk when you take those. Right. Yeah, okay. Let me get a little bit more. That’s, why Tim Curry? I don’t know. That’s a genuine specific from Emily’s life. Yeah, I just did a painting over a Marilyn Monroe painting, cause I realized it kind of looked like Tim Curry. All right, Emily, while I reconstruct this burger. Please do go ahead. Jordan is an avid swimmer. He’s on an adult swim team, but he has to pay extra. There’s a fee at the pool for drainage cleaning. Is that another hair joke? It’s another hair joke. Well, joke’s on you. They charge me because I in the pool. It wasn’t my hair at all. It was my. Oh, man. Okay. I feel like maybe the hair material is getting a little bit tired. I know. Okay. It was a good one, though. It was a good one, but I’m gonna have to give this to Jordan. I’m gonna have to give this to Jordan. Cause it is funny that you don’t. Can you pour some Fireball on that? No, but I’m gonna give you, I’d like it if you take a bite out of this side of the burger. That’d be very nice. All right. Would you like to catch a burnt onion? Yeah, let’s do it. Dang it. Frick. We’re gonna get it. We’re gonna get it. We’re gonna get it. Oh, it smells like foot. Okay, wait. I’ll give my compliments to the chef. I can’t. It’s dusty. It’s burnt. It’s burnt. It tastes like licking pavement. Now, I’ve got a fun one here. It’s a milkshake. Okay. Made with one of the hottest products of the past millennia. And it’s not, I mean, it’s hot and it’s tasty and it’s sriracha sauce. Oh, okay. I’ve got a sriracha milkshake. So, I’m gonna get some more in there. Oh, gross. Yeah, I’m gonna leave that, and don’t worry. I’m gonna get you a little bit of whipped cream. Oh, good. And then add just another drizzle. Really get it on there. That’s beautiful. All right, Emily? Yeah? Would you like to go first? Okay. All it took was Mythical hiring another person named Jordan for you to become everyone’s least favorite Jordan. Yeah. My turn? Your turn. It’s well documented that Emily sleeps with tattered old baby dolls in her bed. You’d think that would hurt her love life, but you’re wrong. Her boyfriend loves it. I should mention her boyfriend is an eighteen hundreds ghost who died in a wishing well. Oh, man. Oh, you know, as someone who hears a lot about Emily’s dating life, that was really good. I’m sorry, Emily, but I’m gonna give that one to Jordan. She got the big boba straw, though. Yeah, that’s great. It’s really tasty. I hope you like it. Oh, God. I didn’t need you to make eye contact with me while you did that. Oh. How is it? It’s good. Thank you. It looks really good. Thank you so much. I drank all my Red Bull. Would you like? Oh, wait. All right, let’s do this. Let’s do it. We’re gonna get this one. This one’s gonna be awesome. Dang it. Okay, I did it too hard. I did it too hard. Do it again. No, no. My fault, my fault. Okay. Dang it. Welcome to our final round. Now, I’ve decided to be kind, and instead of making you eat more gross things, I have a prize for the winner. It’s the most popular dish of the night, the Fireball. Man, the stakes are high. Not only that, we have managed to whip up the tequila ranch that Jordan wanted. So, lot on the line here. Geniuses in the Mythical Kitchen. Crazy. Okay, let’s do it. Crazy stuff, Jordan. Yes. Please, start us off. Emily idolizes Reba McEntire, but I think there’s another southern redheaded comedian she’s more like. I’m not gonna say who it is, but I’m always expecting her to fire guns in the air while complaining about Bug’s Bunny. You’re always saying tarnation, too. I know. God, I have two that I’m trying to pick from. Oh, oh, bringing out the big guns. Jordan has a really adorable cat named Bug, and I just wanted to remind you, Bug’s gonna die one day. I told you when we started this, that the cat was off limits. She’s my angel. She’s going to live forever. I have many ridiculous things about me that you could do. Oh, yeah? What were they? I dress like I’m a road manager at the Warped Tour. Fair. I still listen to ska in twenty twenty-four. Take your pick. Leave the cat out of it. All right, I’m sorry. No, it’s okay. She’s an angel. That was brutal. Jordan, please. You deserve these to cheer you up. Oh, my gosh. After that. Wow. Crazy, crazy roast. Roast. Emily, pretty unhinged, but I respect the effort. Thank you. I respect the play. How’s the tequila ranch? It’s bad. Oh, no. Do you want me to give it to Emily? No. Okay. He wants it. He wants it. Is it really tequila in there? Either that or Windex. Oh, cool. Hidden Valley? I think it is, yes. Hidden Valley tequila. Well, thank you both for your sick burns. That was very fun to witness. And thank you for being wonderful sports, and thank you to everyone watching at home. That wraps up Good Mythical Weekend for now. Thank you for watching, but I think it’s safe to say it’ll be back before you know it. And until then, GMM is back on Monday, five days a week. So, get back to watching Rhett and Link. You know, they’re cool. And we’ll see you next time. Bye. Goodbye. Do you want? No, stop. I don’t want that. And then please never. Oh, my God, you’re such a freak.