Good Mythical Weekend. Today, the Mythical crew is going to play an extra hot game of spin the bottle. Yes, there are spicy stories and spicy smooches to come. This is Spicy Spin the Bottle. Hi, I’m Andy. I’m going to be leading this game, and I love two things. Spicy food and positive physical touch. I can’t wait to get to smooching with y’all, but first, everyone introduce themselves. Hi, I’m Emily, and I stabbed a kid with a pencil once, but I’m not gonna tell that story today. All right. Hey. I was a kid, too. Got it. Hey, I’m Jordan. I didn’t have an additional thing prepared. I’m Matt. I’m on Instagram. Hi, I’m Gwynedd. I’m the kid Emily stabbed with a pencil. And I’m Matt. And that’s the joke I was gonna make, so I don’t know. Sorry. Fun. Okay, here’s how this is gonna work. The person to my left is gonna tell their spiciest story. Oh, God. They’re gonna spin the bottle, and whoever it lands on will tell their spiciest story. The story that I think is the least spicy will have to do a big old smooch with me while I have some hot food on my lips. This particular food is chili crisp, and it’s hot. So, Gwynedd, you’re up first. Tell me the spiciest story from your life. Oh, God. I don’t know if it’s the spiciest story from my life, but I will tell you guys that there was this one time in high school where I told my mom I was going to go see the movie Coyote Ugly, which was about women dancing on a bar. And instead of doing that, I went and danced on a bar. No, I went to my boyfriend’s house, and I did recreational drugs instead. Like one that everybody does or one that? One that was especially big in the nineties. Okay. Lots of Benadryl. Yeah. We robo tripped. Like, the rave one. The rave one, glow sticks, some Vicks VapoRub. Nice. What? You ate the Vicks VapoRub or you just put it on your body? No, did you say put it on your butt? I said body, but also. I don’t know where to put the Vicks The butt is part of the body. That’s right. That’s true. Wait, but why? What? Can I know? Do you know about why people liked Vicks when they did? To take the thing and then smell the Vicks, because it’s like a very intense sensation. That’s correct. Yes. I’ve heard. That’s the coolest story. Thanks. My mom was, like, really onto me, though. And when I got home the next day, she asked me to tell you. Yeah. She was like, tell me how the movie Coyote Ugly ends. If you went to go see the movie Coyote Ugly, and I said it, it ends happily ever after. Oh, that’s. Which is true. And the coyotes were the friends we made along the way. Call the fire department, because that story was on fire. Okay, Gwynedd, spin the bottle. Okay. Oh, I spun it really hard. So it’s just gonna keep going and going. For a long time. I got to take lunch. Just relax. We’ll see you next week. Yeah, okay. It’s gonna be. Let’s go. Matt, it’s time for you to tell your spicy story. I will. Okay, so one time, I dated someone for a short period of time who had a fetish for Jews. Loved Jews. And that was at first cool. Thought it was great. I was like, that sounds fun. But then I went over to her apartment, and her room had just the whole wall had Jerry Lewis all over the place. No. Which is a very specific type of person to have a Jew fetish for. A seventy year old type. Well, he was. It was a young. It was Nutty Professor era Jerry Lewis. Did you say, hey, lady? I said, hey, lady. I get it. I get it. She made me say it during sex, but it was. It definitely spelled, you know, for me. I was like, I don’t know if this is gonna last, because she wanted me to kind of. I didn’t think it’s one of those things where I’m like, oh, this sounds fun. And then after a while, she’s like, put on the yamaka, and I’m like, you know what? I don’t think this is. This feels insulting. Yeah. No, that’s not. That’s not spicy, that’s sad. Well, it was spicy for a while. Wow. We’re gonna have to lock the comments for this one. I think Gwynedd wins that round because her story had recreational drug use and a hard PG-13 movie. A hard what now? Next, it’s time. It’s time to get your smooch on, big guy. Okay, here we go. There’s so much hair in it. Get the hair out. Oh, okay. Oh, no. Look at the hands. Jerry Lewis could never. It hurts my lips! The way it burns. She’s getting really horny right now watching. Well, it’s round two, and my lips are covered in num num wasabi. All right. Matt Carney, you’re up first. Tell us your spicy tale and then spin the bottle. All right, thanks. Anjelica Huston. I think I look more like Shelly Duvall from The Shining. That’s true. Yeah. All right, so some years back, I worked for the Howard Stern show, actually, and they came with a whole lot of interesting assignments. And it was like a Wednesday night, one night, and. Did you ever sit on the? The vibrating thing that you sit on meant to produce an orgasm? Yes. No, I never sat on that. Did you do the tickle chair? The tickle? No, no. Wow. What are these questions? Did you and Howard Stern hook up? Yeah. I worked there for a month. You ruined his story. So we got word that there was a Eyes Wide Shut sex party happening in New York City. And so me and another writer producer there said, let’s go see if we can get into it. So we went to this nondescript location, and we got in there, and we told them we’re from the Howard Stern show, and we showed them our badges, and they let us right in because, like, the Stern show is like a free ticket in New York to whatever you want to do. It holds a lot of power. Yeah. As long as it’s, like, weird and? Exactly. Yeah. Did you have to wear a mask? Yes, he gave us masks. We walked in, we took the elevator up. Elevator doors opened. Just people having sex everywhere. I thought you were going to a screening of Eyes Wide Shut. This is way better than that. Yeah. Truly. I was kind of like, my soul left my body, because I didn’t know how to deal with this. Yeah. I got told several times, sir, you aren’t supposed to stare at what’s happening. Well, what the? Why are you there then? I was there to ask questions of people, like, what’s it like not being circumcised and things like that? While they’re having sex? Well, I’ve always wondered what that was like. Well, yeah, we’re there to just be, like, we were there to interview. We brought little recorders, and we were there to ask questions. So, while they were having sex, you were gonna go up and be like, hi? I was once thrown out of a Dave and Buster’s for having a weird vibe. So, yeah, we were meant to ask questions of people while they were having sex, and they were all around us on the pool table. It was wild. We got kicked out after about, like, twenty minutes because people started complaining that we were interrupting the sex. That’s a good run, though. Twenty minutes. You even do a little kiss or anything? No, no, no. A little kiss? No kissies. I’d have been done after five. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? I think all that sounds like kind of fun, but do you ever worry if you went to one of those, you’d finish first and then just be like? Now I’m just here for the dip. I guess I could see a movie. There’s time left. Bye. And, like, leave the whole sex party? I don’t know. That is my spicy story. I’ll spin the bottle. All right. That’s a good one. I can’t believe you didn’t do anything. I had somebody at home. I had a partner. We had dogs. I didn’t know how we would split the dogs if we ended up. I have a partner. I got dogs. I don’t need to do anything at this sex party. You have to end with a tale, she takes. That’s how it works. Yeah. The dogs came into account as sweet, though. Okay. All right. I learned how to queef in church camp. I love this. Okay. We can go ahead and call this one. No, you need to hear this. Okay. So, I went to Catholic school. I’m not Catholic. My mom worked there and I kept getting in trouble in public school. That’s another story. But there’s this thing called Search. I don’t know if people who are Catholic, who are watching, I won’t reveal the big secret, but. Well. Is it that God’s not real? No. Oddly enough. Oddly enough, kind of. But okay, so, they. The whole thing is, it’s a weekend where it’s top secret. Nobody can, like, say what happens at Search and. Sounds like what happens is learning to queef. So there were. It’s from all these different Catholic schools, not just the school you go to. They all come for the weekend. And it’s like, there was people telling really sad stories and stuff. And then it’s like, can’t tell anyone. But there were these two trashy girls from, like, a couple of counties over. One of them had, like, the craziest cold sore, but she was really fun. And they could queef on command. Okay. And they loved doing it during the saddest stories that people were saying. No. somebody was like, my dad died. And they’re like, just, like, doing it the whole time. And it would make me die laughing every time. You’re like, I gotta get in on this. I was like, I got it. So then we had this journaling thing where it was like, you go out into the woods with your journal and write about God or whatever. We snuck out to the woods and they taught me how to queef. But. Did you journal about it later? Yeah. It’s in my diary, for sure. No, but. My favorite Bible verse is the queef shall inherit the Earth. But, no, I can’t do it anymore. The only way I can do it is if I lay on my back and, like, hold my legs up and rock back and forth. Okay. I can do it that way. Doesn’t feel like that’s on command. But what was the method you learned? Well, there was. So they did it where it’s. It sounds like Mythical Society content. Are you sure you don’t want to give it up here? I don’t know how to do it anymore, but I. Maybe I’ll relearn. But they could do it on flat wooden surfaces like the pews in the church. Okay. And it was so loud. And like. And they would just be, like, doing it together. And the priests would come up and they go, do you need to use the restroom? And they’re like, no, we’re good. Incredible acoustics. Amazing. Amazing, but I love that they were a duo act. They were a duo act. Carol of the Bells. And I’m so sad that I lost their information because they were. I loved them so much. I had so much fun with them. If you’re watching. Yeah. Honestly, in two thousand and four, if you went to Search in Tennessee and you taught me how to queef, please comment below. I have a feeling we’re gonna get a lot of. So there’s my story. Well, what a couple of tales those were. Okay, well, I have to judge which was spiciest. I think Jordan Myrick made an excellent point in Matt’s story. He didn’t actually do anything, but rather just witnessed a spicy event being done by others. So I think you need to pucker up and give me the big ol’ wasabi smooch. I will, but let me protest. There’s a lot of queef witnessing here. It sounds like. But she queefed. She queefed. You can admit it now. If you did a little something, you can admit it now and change. All right, all right. Change your fate. Come on, one finger? What did you do? I queefed. I queefed. Oh, shut up. Kiss this thing. I got excited. Absolutely not. I wish penises could queef. Dude. It would be so cute. Oh, God. Too much. You did it for so long. I actually loved that. The commitment itself. Take notes, Lieb. That’s how you smooch. All right. Round three. Okay. My lips are covered in a super spicy weak knee sriracha. You probably can’t see it, but let me tell you, it’s there, and you’re gonna taste it once we start locking lips. All right, Emily, your turn to start. All right. So, I went to college in Arkansas. There was, like, five hundred students at my school. Very, very small. I went there for art. Batesville, Arkansas. And I went, I know. I know. But like, every, like, freshman year art thing, everybody’s doing the thing where they cover themselves in paint when they’re naked and roll around on a canvas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all did that. I feel like all art school kids, you do it. You do it eventually. And it’s like, oh, my God, look at me. I’m naked and covered in paint. So. I did that at business school, but you rolled around in money naked. Cool. So I was the only, like, art major who hadn’t done it yet, and we were at a party, and, like, an art kid party out. And the thing is, in Batesville, Arkansas, it’s just two lane roads, like, forever. It’s a dry county. You gotta, like, it was crazy. But this guy had a party out in his trailer, and they brought this huge canvas and they brought paint, and they were like, you should do it. And I was like, okay, all right, I’m a big girl. We can do this. Somebody put the headlights on their Jeep. It was dark outside. It’s November, and I take my clothes off, and then people just start throwing cans of, like, paint. Not the cans, but the paint at me. And it is so cold. And I’m, like, sliding around on the thing, like, is this good? I don’t know. Is this art? And then I was like, okay, I did it. I did it. Now can I come wash off? And they’re like, you can’t come in here. No. I was like, what do you mean? They go, well, you’re gonna get stuff all in my trailer. And I’m like, okay. He goes, you gotta use the hose. And so they start spraying me with cold hose water, but the paint is not coming off. Oh, my God. Because they didn’t put paint on me. They put outdoor oil based deck stain. What? That’s. All over me. My lips were sealed. No. And I’m talking the south ones, like, it was. They were sealed shut. It was like I was wearing a black rubber outfit of deck stain paint. It was gooey. It was oil based. So water isn’t taking it off. And so I begged them to let me come in, and then they filled up the tub with paint thinner and the UTI after this. You guys. I can’t imagine. You are infertile now. Oh, good. This is changing everything I think about Arkansas. Sounds pretty cool. I mean, we were doing meth as well. Okay. But no, but definitely not alcohol, because you can’t get that there. But no. So I had to do that. I later found out that Dawn dish soap takes off stuff like that. They put, you know, the oil spills with the little ducks? I was gonna say, you’re like a little duck. I could have just put Dawn dish soap on me, and it would have just come right off. But instead, I’m just in a tub naked with deck stain all over me. In a trailer in Arkansas. I fell asleep in someone’s closet because I couldn’t get it all off, and I was so tired that they gave me a bunch of, like, towels and stuff, and I just slept on the floor of a closet, then woke up and got the rest of it off. I love parties. I know. Parties are fun. They threw away the painting. What? They didn’t think it was good. That’s the best part. Can you tell the queefing story again. I need a palate cleanser. Emily, you truly are the Simone Biles of this game. Time to spin the bottle. I wonder if someone will beat that. Anybody watching House of the Dragon? Here we go. Here we go. Who’s it gonna land on? Jordan Myrick. Oh, boy. I wonder what toxic material you’ll get on yourself in this story. Yes. Well, in high school, I had a boyfriend, and his mom was going out of town, so we were like, this is it. Time to play Call of Duty. Yeah. We made this huge plan. We’re like, this is it. We’re gonna have sex next to your pool. Next to the pool. Next to your pool. Next to the pool. On a deck chair? We hadn’t thought it out that much, but we were like, oh, my, like next to the pool, can you even imagine. Acidity in water gets me so hot. Yeah. I’ve always wanted to do it on one of them inflatable alligators. Yes. But so I think I was, like, in the pool, I was scared it would make me, like, sick or, like, I would get a UTI or something. We’re gonna do it next to the pool, and it’s gonna be, like, really cool and sexy and whatever. So. On the diving board. Yes. So we decide. Bounce. Okay, he wasn’t that rich. He didn’t have a diving board. No. So we decided to make it happen. And then, as it was happening, and I should preface this, I grew up in South Florida, and as it was happening, I look over, and there is a full size iguana right next to my head. Full size. Not a lizard, not a baby. Wild iguanas are a big thing in South Florida. So I look over, and we’re having sex, and then there’s a life size iguana next to me. Life size iguana? Huge. What does that mean? To scale. To scale. Holy moly. A whole iguana. And. And he was like, can I have next? Yes. And I am very scared of lizards. I can relate to the iguana in this story, by the way. You could save a lot of money on your car insurance by switching. Yes. That’s a gecko. Oh, sorry. Which I’m trying to make it clear. It wasn’t a gecko. It was actually a wild iguana. And I was very scared, because I was afraid. I’m afraid of lizards. I don’t like them. And he was kind of like, no, let’s just keep going. This is crazy. Nothing will ever be like this again. And I was like, okay. So then we kept having sex and the iguana walked away. And then we stopped having sex. And then when we stopped and got up, the iguana had crawled into his pool and died. This is, is a battle between Jordan and Emily, but it’s also a battle between Arkansas and Florida. It happened. The mighty have been defeated. Jordan Myrick is the winner. Well done. Well done. I knew you and I would be close. Come on over. Hang up, my legs are stuck to the chair. It might be the paint thinner. It might be the paint, or the oil based deck stain. Or the queefing. She queefed so hard she’s suctioned. There’s a lot of reasons that Emily sticks to something. Can I. Can I say I just realized that after the deck stain, that’s when I stopped being able to queef. Oh, my God. Are you still sealed shut? That’s what we call the prestige. Come here. It’s like in Edge of Tomorrow when. Stop making the neck higher. I don’t like that. I can’t control my spine. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah! It’s gross. I don’t like it. Where’s the water stuff? That’s okay. I tried to be tender. Well, it’s the final round and I just want to say a quick personal message to all the viewers out there. Don’t bother going back to see if my voice matches the last video I was in because it doesn’t. Alright, it’s the final round and my lips are covered in a Calabrian chili paste. Matt Lieb. Tell your spiciest story. And spin the bottle. Okay. I one time had sex with a Big Mouth Billy Bass. Not an actual fish. I’m not a monster. It was like a popular novelty gift. You guys remember. That’s not what we want explanation for. Yeah. They sang Take Me to the River and they were hilarious. Yeah. Wait, I need context. Oh, my God. Wait, wait. Was the speaker actually in the mouth of the fish or wasn’t it just like on the plaque? Okay, so let me explain. So first of all, I got it from my dad because my dad loved novelty gifts. It wasn’t even yours? No, of course. I was in seventh grade. Let me just point out, I was not an adult at this point. Okay. No, I was in seventh grade, and, you know, I was discovering my body, my sexuality, and I wanted to, like, level up from hand stuff for myself. And so. And American Pie had already come out, so there were ideas, but he said no to those. Is that why your car has that bumper sticker bass, ass, or grass, nobody rides for free? Some guys are boob guys and some guys are bass guys. I hope Bass Pro Shop sends me a free hat. Why? So you can. So I got experimental. I was trying out all sorts of new ways to please myself, and I saw this Big Mouth Billy Bass, and I was like, it’s a robot that opens its mouth, you know, and I was like, my dad’s not gonna miss it. So I took it into my room, and I tried to, you know, go in the mouth, but the mouth is actually blocked off. It’s just like, you know, so I couldn’t. Yeah. Yeah, we all know how fish work. Yeah, right, but. So. But I was, like, really married to the idea, so I. So the skin was rubber, and so I ripped off the skin. And then I had sex with the skin. While I was doing it, the skeleton was still singing. So. Matt, somebody told you we’re filming, right? So, my dad later asked, where is it? And I had to go buy a new one for him. So he doesn’t know this story. To this day, he does not know about what happened to the first Big Mouth Billy Bass. Okay, did you dispose of the skin? Oh, well, no. Did you at least recycle, Matt? I kept the skin for a while. Did you rinse it out? Did you call the skin the next day? The skin broke up with me later. We’re still really good friends. And what did your dad do when you had sex with the second one you bought? He said, that’s it. No more fish in the Lieb household. If it’s a singing fish, Matt will it. But it was a good gift. It was a great gift. He really enjoyed it. He thought it was hilarious at sang songs, but, yeah. So, that’s my spicy story. Well, Matt, it’s time to spin the bottle. And hopefully you land on someone who has a story about giving it to one of the dancing Pepsi cans. All right, let’s do it. I would just like to point out that Matt is married. Yes, I am married. And I am not. Does your wife know that story? Oh, yeah. Okay. For you gentlemen out there that put the fish down, I’m around. Yeah. What is Emily if not an extremely beautiful fish skin? That’s a great title for your biography. One day. Put the fish down and go to pound town. Emily. Emily. Let’s start the sing along. Big wheels keep on turning. Great rhythm, Andy. Okay. I’m gonna lose already. Nah. It’s a tough act to follow. Just think of what happened the next day in Florida. Okay, well, all right. When I was younger, I had a crush on our neighbor, and she loved pickles. So I thought it would be really cool to get a jar of pickle juice and chug it all in front of her. I thought that that would be, like, something that would impress her. Okay. And instead, what happened was I went over to her house, called her out into her front yard, drank an entire jar of pickle juice, and then threw up on her. Did you say how old you were? We were probably. Twenty-five. I was six months home. I was probably eleven or twelve. Jordan, in any other world, throwing up on your crush would win. But you just can’t beat fake fish. I will not let myself tell a story that would beat that story. Okay. Come on. All right. Time for some first basing. Okay, relax. I’m engaged. All tongue. Yum. Well, has this been the spiciest video of all time? I think so. Thanks to all of y’all for playing. And thanks to everyone at home watching. Come back next Saturday for a new episode of Good Mythical Weekend. And now I’m gonna go get tested for mono. Bye. Cuddle up with the Mythical Beast Blanket, as a Third Degree Mythical Society member. Join now at mythicalsociety.com