Good mythical weekend, today we have the honor and the privilege to bear witness to a roast battle for the ages, literally because I have gen alpha and I have millennials right here, they’re going to roast each other anything you want to say to your opponents before we get into it, you’re going down. There it is. Wow. There it is. I was gonna say this is all in good fun And I think, um You are really cool for Okay, and also you’re I’m watching you Okay Woah! This is Generation Decimation On this side, we have our good friends Jordan, Matt Emily, we know them, we love them, they’re Team Millennial, even though Jordan was saying he might be more of a Gen X cuss, we love him cause he’s funny, and we have our beautiful Gen Alpha team, we have Declan, Christian, and Adley, who has been with us before, welcome back, Adley. Alright, the game is simple. Members of each team will trade off roasting each other, being mean, trying to make each other cry. We gave I don’t want to do that. You’re gonna. If they don’t make you cry, I’m gonna make you cry. Okay. Okay? That’s fine. I just don’t want to make them cry. They all seem really nice. Yeah. That’s a very Gen Z thing to say. Okay, we gave our Gen Alpha team members, uh, our Millennial social media. Now, if you’ve ever scrolled Millennial social media, you know endless ammunition for roasting. And we gave our Millennials fun facts about our Gen Alpha team members provided by their parents. Now, I know if my dad was going around Telling stories about me, giving someone something to roast me about. I’d probably go home crying, so it’s gonna be pretty awesome. And as a Gen Z person, I guess this makes me the perfect judge. So, I’m ready to get into it. Are you guys ready to get into it? Yeah. I’m scared. Let’s get going! Alright, Gen Alpha, as our revered guests, I’m gonna let you choose first your opponent. So, Adley, would you like to come on up and start? Yes. Who would you like to face off with? Jordan. Jordan! Getting called out. The confidence. Did you hear the confidence? I did. In her voice? Uh huh. Now? And I’m terrified. You should be. She’s gonna destroy you. This is a terrifying opponent. Adley, can I offer you? I’m just gonna give you something here. That way we’re really on a level playing field. Yes. I’m gonna give you that. Get up there. That’s better. Alright. Now I’m really scared. You better be. I don’t have a height advantage anymore! What am I gonna do? Alright, Adley. Let him have it. Okay. When I first saw you, I thought you were Bigfoot. But now I see the difference. Bigfoot’s famous. You’re not. People want, people actually want to find Bigfoot. With you, people want to find the nearest exit. Thank you. Wow. Wow. I am roasted. Do you want to deliver anything back or do you want to just go? Can I have an apple box to stand on so I can feel a little bit? I got a little, you know, actually, here you go. I’ll give you a short one. Alright, okay. Yeah, alright. Alright, Jordan, please. Um, Adley, your bio said you love Hamilton and Taylor Swift. What are you, ten, or are you an annoying millennial who posts photos of Yankee candles on Instagram with the hashtag Girlbossfallvibes? Was that a roast against Abby? Not really. It felt like maybe a little bit of a self report. I don’t know. Please though. Listen, I love a good scented candle. That’s, yeah, I’m done. Okay, alright, no, um, Give me a second to deliberate, I’m gonna consult. Adley, you take the first round! That was incredible. That was incredible. That was beautiful. I love that you said thank you at the end. It was like you did a little curtsy right after your roast. It was beautiful. It makes everything you said look so nice. Yeah, I know. As if you didn’t just rip his soul out of his body. Alright, welcome back. If you’re just joining us, we are here in round two. Christian, you’re up. Get on up here. Who do you want to roast? I’ll pick Matt. Woo! Great choice. Sorry. Great choice. Great choice. I’m already scared. All right. Let’s do this. Let’s roast a child. I want to end up like Jordan, do you? No, I don’t. Wow. We’re starting off strong. Wait, hold on. I’m just getting roasted even when it’s not my turn? I like this. Let’s just do a Jordan roast. That’ll be good. Yeah, that’s great. Catching strays a bit. Matt, we’re going to let you go first. Please deliver your roast to Christian. Hi. Now remember, this is a child. I do remember. It’s the one thing I remember. Please, go ahead. Uh, alright. Uh, Christian. Oh, you seem so nice. Oh. What is so bad about this? It’s just, it’s hard because it’s like, I don’t, who wants to roast a child? Trust me, secretly down in here, as adorable as we look, we want to kill you all. Oh, roast! With roast! With roast! With roast! Okay, with roast. Roast. Roast kills. Uh, Christian. Uh, so I hear you have a love of travel. Uh, and that’s great. It’s actually already rubbing off on me. Uh, cause you make me want to get the hell out of here. Is that all? That’s it, I’m going soft. God, I’m so glad it made me laugh. Uh, that was, that was an awesome, awesome try. Christian, please, it is your turn. I hear you’re friends with these two people. That must set a really bad image for your daughter. That’s a roast on them, and I’ll accept it. That is crazy. I mean, you set a low bar for her to overcome, so. You’re right, I should have better friends. Jordan does suck, you’re right. I’m fine. Catching shrapnel this whole time? That was a double kill. Yeah, god. Oh, two birds with one stone! That was, that was pretty near on three birds, I think, with one stone. Sure is the Halo killing spree noise here. True. Oof, god, that’s tough. Uh, I think I’m gonna have to give this one to Matt. What?! I know. That was crazy. I thought it was well thought out. I thought, I don’t know, he targeted you. I thought it was a little bit I don’t know, maybe disrespectful against the rules. Go out to the couch, I don’t know. But I’m gonna give that one to Matt. I’m sorry, Christian. I will humbly accept it. I’ll be back. I bet, I know you will. I know you will. He’s gonna legit try to kill me now. Yeah, well that’s actually kinda why I gave you the win there. Hello, despite winning the last round, Matt Lee did have to take a break to cry. But we’re back! And Declan, it is your turn. Come on up. Who would you like to roast? Let’s go with Emily. Yes! I’m glad someone just picked me. I was afraid. It’s about time. What’s a bigger roast than just never getting picked? That’s true. That’s what would happen. You can sit back down. Oh, God! No, I can’t. Oh, I wanna stay. Emily, come on. Come on. I’m gonna stay. I’m sure you have some great stuff. Wow, a handshake. That’s very respectful. If he didn’t give me a handshake, that would have been crazy, too. I could have done that. You’re missing all the opportunities already. But I’m nice, so. Well, hopefully not, because you’re up first. What is that supposed to mean? You know. Okay, I don’t like this already. Let’s go. Declan, please. It’s so cool that your dad is in a famous band. Is it embarrassing being a Nepo baby, but Without a career. Woah! My dad is going to love this episode so much. I think that’s, that is a huge So good. That was awesome. That was awesome. Savage. Oh, I didn’t swear, did I? No, I don’t think so. No, you held it together. I blacked out. I’m sorry. I think I’m blacking out right now. That was just, that was just your eyes and your head completely on the table. Thank you. Or do you think, I mean, deliver what you have, if you can. Alright, Declan. Um. Um. Thanks for being here, by the way. I’m glad I’m here. Right. Thanks for coming. Um, so, Declan, I hear you’re taking trampoline classes. So what’s next, a PhD in MeWantUppies? Essentially, yeah. Wow. That was really good. That’s a good one. Um, you know, as someone with a PhD in MeWantUppy, that was a little offensive to the host. Um, That’s why people date me, usually. Yeah, is that so? People date you? Sorry. Oh, man. I didn’t mean to get involved. I didn’t mean to. I’m so sorry. I feel really bad about that. That’s favoritism. Um, and I also feel bad that I, I have to give Declan the win here. That was, that was diabolical. It was diabolical. Well done, Declan. Best round yet. Well done. Thank you. I am now scared of Declan. I’m terrified of him. I’m coming for you. Ah! This is so scary! We’re probably all gonna go to lunch after this, and they’re not gonna let us sit with them. Okay, I’ve been told that I’ve been coming off as maybe not super impartial, so, kids are stupid. Get on. Yeah, we can rent cars. Yeah. I can’t. We can vote. Um, okay. But Emily doesn’t. She’s a felon. It’s not true. Emily’s very socially conscious. And she’s not a felon. Millennials, it’s your turn to pick. Jordan, would you like to come up? Yes. Okay. I got, listen. I got, listen. I caught some shrapnel in the last round. I’m gonna have to get my revenge on Christian. Got Christian being called up. Here we go. Uh, and Jordan, we’re gonna allow you to rose first. Okay. Please. Christian, it says in your bio that you like video games and improv comedy. In 25 years, you’re gonna have to add to your bio, has no human children and calls himself a cat dad. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Uh, Christian, please. Yeah. Here we go. You look like Hagrid if he went to Queer Eye. I’m not even sure makeup could fix you. Amen! Wow. This is horrible, why are you doing this to us? You know, I, something I like about that, is that it implies I’ve had a nice makeover. So, you know what, a little bit of a toast in that roast. You’re a wizard, Christian. I, yeah, I think with the bench clearing roast, I’m going to have to give this round to Christian. He won, fair and square. On the revenge, that was incredible. Yeah, I, next round. Welcome to the penultimate round. And for those of you who don’t have the same word of the day calendar as I do, penultimate means the thing before the final thing. Emily! Okay. You’re up. Who would you like to roast slash be roasted by? Okay. Adley, I, let’s, I want to, hurt, hurt me. You’re like, you scare me the most. I want you to know that. I’m gonna get you one more though, I’ll say, wait a minute, I’m gonna get you one more. There you go. I feel so tall. There we go. You, wait, wait, how many of those? Those are two? Yeah, yeah, we got two. This feels unfair, but, okay. Adley. Please go first. Okay. So I checked out your jewelry line. Oh my god. Woo! Adley. Woo! Oh, you are on thin ice, young lady. You know. This is about to be bad. This is just like a little bit of, I need that, I need that job. Okay. Alright, go for it. You got it. You know, it reminded me of some of my jewelry that I made in kindergarten. Before, before I got contact lenses. You know, but good for you. Your parents let you have contact lenses before you were 13? Man, and your ears are pierced you get to do everything this person just already has a better life. This is crazy It’s the cheerfulness Delivers the rose you have so much like so much joy in your life Emily, please. Oh, man, I don’t I’m blacking out again. I already forgot what I was gonna say. All right, so listen this whole ten year old cute thing ain’t gonna last forever Pretty soon you’re gonna be a grown woman In front of a 10 year old telling them that that’s not gonna last forever. Basically, you’re me. Oh, is that it? Burn! Oh! Okay, that was the roast. Huh. You’re me. It’s a thinker. It’s a thinker. And that’s what we do here at the Roast Battle. Hold on. Um. I’m you with normal hair. What? Okay. This is very expensive. Okay. You just, all of this. I really just look bad, don’t I? Before Emily’s feelings get hurt anymore, uh, that round clearly goes to Adley. I’m so sorry. Yeah, well done. I’m so sorry. Well done. That was incredible. Adley, please don’t roast me anytime soon. Next round. Alright, for those of our more observant viewers, uh, Gen Alpha has Already won, technically. Um, so this round is a bit of a formality. But I think the real winners is everybody in the world except the three of you. Mmm. Um, Matt, come on up. Alright. Who would you like to roast here? Oh, well, uh, no one in particular. We could just call it a day. That would be nice. Uh, who do I want to roast? You! Okay, yeah, let me have it. Yeah, uh, you look like your aesthetic is an 80’s ski bully who cries a lot. Uh, you are mean and shouldn’t be here. Uh, and I’m scared. To be here. Declan, get on up here. Oh wait, I have to pick someone. I picked four. You alright? Okay. I picked four. You I did one. He’s the scariest one. Yeah. Unfortunate. But uh, you get to deliver your roast first. So. Hi Declan. Hi . Alright, Declan. Oh, Declan, you got this. I can do it. You can do it. Can do it. Thank you for the confidence supportiveness. Thank you. Um, Declan, uh, you love to do parkour? And personally, I’m inspired by your love of parkour, because you’re making me want to jump off the tallest building around. Woah! Please be nice. Try it again with more passion. I’m scared to. Matt, you’re getting notes. I know. You’re getting encouragement. Make me feel something. There’s boundaries. I don’t wanna be mean. Alright. You gotta cross them. I’m scared. You don’t wanna be mean into worst battle . Oh, I’m so sorry. You, uh, Declan. It’s okay. You’re, it’s you’re safe here. It’s okay. Uh, please. Declan you all to, since you, you’re a huge Sopranos fan, which character do you relate the most to? And please, please tell me it’s someone who gets killed off early. Oh man. Ouch. Ouch, that hurts. Finish it! It hurts my feelings. I mean, I could do another roast. My original roast was to pull out the result of a DNA test to prove that you’re my son. Because look at you. Oh, that’s the worst thing that could possibly happen. That’s the worst thing possible. Darth Vader sneeze. So many, so many self roasts happening here from the Millennial side. Yeah, we didn’t need to do anything. They just did it themselves. Wow. That’s how we, that’s how we roll. This is a tough round. Um, and you know what? I’m I’m gonna give it to Matt here. Oh, that’s nice. I’m gonna give it to Matt. You know, just something to make him feel better. Yeah. Because he does look pretty close to tears. Mm hmm. Um. I’m old. You have your whole life ahead of you. Yeah. Um, so please, go sit back down and I can tally the numbers and see who is the official overall winner. Yeah, I should have looked away. Okay, word is in from the, from the point counters. The official winner of the roast battle, of the roast battle, is Generation Alpha. And it’s officially the Bussiness Aura Generation. Please, your trophy, basket it’s glory, hoist it in the air, the victors you are, you should all be proud, you should all be proud. What a fun time. Wow, everyone in the room. We all gotta hold this at the same time, everyone. Yeah! There it is. We’re so happy for you. We’re millennials, where’s our participation trophy? Do you want to touch it? You guys want to get a feeling? I don’t care, I didn’t want to win! I didn’t want to win! I have a job, I can buy my own trophy. I can get as many trophies as I want. Winning is cringe, just try hard. I pay taxes. Okay, okay, okay, thank you to all of you. For your cruel and mean words, uh, this has been the best time of my life. And uh, thank you all for watching. Everyone wave goodbye. We’ll see you next weekend. Within like the first couple days we had fish dying and I was very sick because I started naming them and he’s like, you don’t ever name fish. I didn’t know that either. I would immediately name the fish. I started naming fish. And so we, in our backyard, he would do a whole like funeral procession.