Good Mythical Weekend. How cool were you in high school and would you let these people decide? This is, Show Me Your Cool. Please welcome our very special guest, Mamrie Hart. Hi. Hey. Excited for you. I’m so excited that you’re here. Me too. I’m so excited to be in the same room with you because so many people think we’re the same person. Do they? A lot of people. That is very flattering. I know. This is, we’re tall and hot. There we go. Well, honestly, they might have a point. I’ve never seen the two of you in the same place before. Well, actually, you have. That would be today. Jordan goes. Alright, you got me. Alright. Okay. Here’s how this is gonna work. We have all prepared PowerPoint presentations, showcasing just how cool we were in high school. Uh, and I, I’m gonna go first. I’m gonna present high school Stevie to y’all, and then you’re gonna grade from A to F, a being cool, F being not cool. And then at the end we’re gonna see like definitively who the coolest one in high school was. This doesn’t have to do with how cool you are now. Yeah. Listen, I think we’re all cool. So we’re gonna be grading on a curve. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s why we invited you here today. Okay. I, here we go. This is my name. Okay. The first slide is the, the worst. I, I already know this. Um, I would like to say this is my freshman year yearbook photo. I, I, I am not high. I am not high. I was very sober. A good, good, good, good, good kid. This I, these are braces. This is a Hollister shirt. Oh, yeah. Um, it’s giving polo, but not quite. Oops. I feel like if there could be a word bubble coming out of that photo, it would be, do you wanna see my bug collection? Yeah, yeah. Oh, keep in mind this is like all closeted, everything is, is, is gonna be a layer of, um, insecurity and lies. Um, so this is trying to give not gay. I have a question. Yes. Did you practice this smile in the mirror? Well, you know, when you have braces you are not practicing many things. You’re trying to keep it closed, but just a little bit of a smile. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You nailed it. Yeah. Honestly, it feels like you were trying to smize. Yeah. Yes. It really, it has that energy. It was of the America’s Next Top Model era. It was very that, yeah. You looked like you were giving bedroom eyes, but it looked like you might be asleep instead. Yes. Yeah. I have a little math question. Oh, GPA? Yes. 5.024? A 4.0 is the highest GPA right? That’s not honors. So yes, yes. You’re pointing out that this slide says academics, which is great ’cause I took a lot of AP and IB courses. Mm-hmm. And so you have like regular and honors, but then the APIB are worth more points. Yeah, so that’s why this is like this. And I wanted to balance out the way I look here with saying I was number 10 in my class. Nice. And in academics? In academics. Okay. Okay. Not number 10. Overall. Well, looks not in straightness, you know what I mean? Um, top 10 straightest girls at school. Sure. Top 10 straightest girls at school. Um, okay. Extracurriculars we’re going, um, drama stuff. So some plays and musicals, but I was not a, a necessarily a drama kid ’cause I was also scared of them. Spoiler alert from my slideshow. I was also in our town. Oh, who were you in Our Town? I feel as if my name was Rebecca, but I don’t remember the play. Okay, okay. Yeah. Great. Yes. Then you know some other nerd stuff in here. Oh, Jewish Youth Group. Got a shout out. BBYO. Um. And, uh, worked at Build-a-Bear. This is, uh, senior year. Obviously this is me graduating. So this is the transformation that we’re seeing. Oh, this is Neagheen. And if you are interested in a podcast all about high school, uh, please check out, uh, Best Friends Back, Alright. It’s a mythical podcast that I canceled, um, but I’ve been told it was good and fun. So if you’re looking for something to listen to, uh, best Friend’s Back, Alright, everywhere you get your podcast. Um, okay, let’s move, but we’ve already spent too long on this. You can see here that I’m straight and also you can see, uh, this popped collar. This is a senior year photo prestige. Also, at one point my junior year, I dyed my hair dark brown and then tried to dye it back to my normal color, and then this is what happened. And then in that photo you look like somebody who gets killed in an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. That’s kind of cool. Yeah, no, not a, not a dig. I’m just making an observation. Yeah, I like that. And then these are, you know, the go-to stores of the time. I needed to make sure that we understood outlet for certain things. Mm-hmm. Always love a good deal. Also, Hollister and Abercrombie. On sale, but also very scary to go into those places. They’re dark. They’re dark, they have very low lighting, but also no shirts. So I get, I get it on your Yes, yes, yes, that too. That too. Now to social life. Uh, boys on my wall, I’d like to say. Who are, who are some of the boys? Yeah. What’s his name? Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Oh, of course. Jtt. Yes. Uh, Eric Von Denton. These are all like deep cut, like pretty boys, you know. Um, what’s the name of the guy? I don’t think JTT is a deep cut boy. I think he was one of the primary boys of the nineties. We all had a thing for him. Yeah, he was one of the main boys. Yeah. Um, Devin Sawa. Devin Sawa. Mm. And the guy Kevin Zieger. Who was in Air Budd and then he’s also on Gossip Girl. Oh wow. Yes. Pretty. And then, oh, here’s actually correct in practice. Not that exciting. The dude abroad was, ’cause all the other girls were like, oh, he’s cute. And I was like, well, okay, great. Um, this will be brief and then the dude to make friend jealous. I apologized, uh, on my podcast. Best friend’s Back Alright for doing this, but she just really liked him. And then the secret girlfriend was just, um, you know, like a friend that you say, I love you too, and you kiss and you hold hands, but she’s straight, so. You know. You adopt a couple of dogs together. Yeah. You know, friend stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Um, friend group, preppy. I don’t know. No. That, that tracks preppy. Preppy, yeah. That feels right, right. Just based on the picture. Oh, this is a spray tan. I would like to point out, uh, spray tans were very in, um, and I got one. Oh, but you know what? The photo looks a little, you can’t see how, I’m really tan in this photo. Yeah, I was gonna say, I’m not seeing it, but I believe you. I was like, swear. What color are you now? In actuality, I’m tan. I’m tan in that photo. Also, the dress is like, it’s either seashell tits or spiderweb tits. I can’t figure out the pattern on which one. I think it’s spider tits. Spider tits? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um. Oh, this is my party story. So basically I only threw one party in all of high school and there weren’t that many people there ’cause I only invited like 10 people. And my friend’s older sister got a Smirnoff vodka because it’s the best. Nice. Mm-hmm. Um, and I didn’t know how drinking really worked, so I took like 7, 8, 9 shots pretty early in the night. Dang. And then. My other friend got there and he was like, I brought weed. And I was like, weed? No! No, it’s a gateway drug. We’re gonna be on heroin by the end of the night. I was like. Absolutely not. We can’t be caught with this. And I, and he was like, it’s okay, I’ll go smoke it outside. And I was like, no, please. I don’t want anyone to see or hear or smell, hear pot. Um uh, and so I was really upset and then I ran to the top of my stairs in a fit of being upset. And when I got to the top of my stairs, I realized. Oh, I need to barf everywhere for the rest of the night. So that was the remainder of my party, um, was just getting sick for the rest of the night. And that’s how you party. Um, and then finally that is finally, whew. Thank God. Woo God. And to be clear, I was, this is not, I’m not, I, you know, you’ve seen it, you saw the freshman year photo. Let’s just, uh, while you’re grading me. Okay. I mean, I think what we see here and what makes this kind of difficult is there’s a lot of contradictions. There are some things here that are very classically cool. Yeah. And some things that are very classically nerd. I think your, your clothes were that of a cool kid. I, uh, yes. You know, I mean, obviously like dorky now that we’re looking back on them in 2025, but I think at the time that was like, what a, what a cool kid wore. Yeah. Yeah. And I think you looked cool. And also Spider tits. You had a rack on you. Oh, oh yeah. No kidding. So like out of the gate, the rack brings you up. Yeah, yeah. There you go. Mm-hmm. Those points. Yeah, for sure. And you know, things like, you know, you went to dances, you went abroad. That’s like a cool thing that, that a kid does back in the day. Like back in the day, what am I doing? Um. It was cool to be smart, I feel like. Mm. It was like if you were a smart girl who was also hot and had like cool clothes and stuff, you were the girl that I wanted to be. Are we healing your inner child? A little. Yeah. I’m just saying you were, to me personally, looking back, that’s a cool girl that I would’ve wanted to hang out with. Aw, that means a lot. All the pictures I feel are like the kind of photos that if you went missing, people were gonna find you. Yeah, for sure. All of the photos are like, we gotta find this girl. Like, we have nine episodes of Dateline dedicated to you. You know, we’re zooming in on this one, is like, Stevie was such a, like, was a brilliant child. Like, yeah. Ah, thanks. I’ve got mine. I, yeah, I, I think I, I think I’m comfortable with where I’m at. Yep. Okay. Alright. Let’s see. Let’s see it, let’s go down. I gave you a B. No, thank you. I appreciate it. Okay. Yeah, I, I think because of the collision of cool stuff and nerd stuff, I think it’s a, it’s, it’s an even C. Okay. B minus. Nice. Nice. Okay. Um, it’s a B. Nice. Just ’cause you didn’t do much of the partying thing. No. You’re kinda a narc. I was really good. So that was it. Well, yeah. Kind of killing the vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I feel, I feel this is right and uh, Rachel. You’re up next. Alright. Yes. Okay. So here it is. That’s my name. There we go. That’s the beautiful place to start. Okay. Yep. Academic. Yay. That’s me. That’s me at the end of school. So that’s, uh, senior year. Those are some, maybe some awards that I got. We got a brooch teen girl with a brooch. I did. I love broach roller and I also loved a side part. Um, at that time. That’s a letter that, uh, my mom got from Obama. Like she wrote to Obama, you know, and then he’ll send, he could have sent any of us, anybody a letter. Um, no, he didn’t even sign it. You know what I mean? But it’s from him. So what, what is the content of the letter? He’s just like, you really killed it in school. Like you, you did your thing, Rachel. You’re awesome. I we need more people like you. And I was like, you don’t even know me. Maybe we need less like me. Um, oh yeah, I had a 4.72, so, you know, not, not as smart, you know, but I, I, I signed up for a lot of, uh, AP classes that I was bad at. This is above a 4.0, which I was under the impression was the highest you can get. Yeah. You’re not, you’re not into the fives, right? No, I’m not in the fives, no. Uh, so for extracurriculars, yeah. I was hitting, I was in the church choir. I was very much in church. I was in the church praise dance team at Liturgical Dance, if y’all are familiar. Wow. Um, I was in the key club, national Honor Society, and then Thespian Society that I was most, I was in theater. I was a big theater. A big theater kid. I think that’s gonna be a common thread. I forgot about the International Thespian Society. I was definitely in that as well. Yes, for church choir slash liturgical dance team. Totally. Um, did you have like a big number or a signature song or something that like. Pony by Genuis? Uhhuh? Uh, no, not necessarily. We would do a new dance, like I would say, once a month. Oh, a new, a new. I had that moment as well. I, I, I think maybe some people heard a nude dance. Oh, Uhhuh. Yeah. My little teen body just naked for Jesus. Keep it in. Yeah. My little teen body Naked for Jesus. Yeah. Get Judy Bloom out here. That’s a book now. That’s a book. A book. Oh, okay. Too much. Um, that’s, this is sort of, yeah. Whoa. An early time, earlier time braces. Big time braces. Um, I was often actually at the limited because my older cousin worked at The Limited, so she got a discount, so I was also frequently in a peplum top. Yeah. Very cool. Okay, casual at the aquarium. Oh, some more style things. Cute. A lot of pearls. I would often be wearing a heel. Fun fact, that photo of me on that weird little slide, still my Google photo. I can’t figure out how to change it. Oh, it’s really cute. Is that I like this. I like this getup. It’s so cute. Uh, okay. Social life. Yes. Got a driver’s license at 17. I learned how to drive from my parents doing driver’s ed in a box, which is something I learned no one has outside of Texas. And driver’s ed in a box is essentially, they send you truly a box and it’s like your parents teach you go ahead, and then they administer the test. That’s how I learned how to drive. Oh, you were pretending a car was a box? Like a box was a car? No, no, no, no, no. You get a paper plate. This, this why there’s so many vehicular deaths in Texas. Just because the kids are just driving boxes. Paper. They fill out. No, it’s like it’s, it’s a box full of stuff. It’s like a box full of like, here’s what you do and videos and instructions. Oh. But it’s all led by your parents. This is a dance photo we’re seeing. Is that a limo? Did you guys go to the dance in a limo? That was prom. Very nice. That was, that was my junior prom. Very nice for cool. Very, how to lose a guy in 10 days Dress. Mm-hmm. Very cool dress. The short-lived boyfriend. Now he passed away. How did he die? He’s dead to me. Thank you. He was, it was, it was short. He was sort of a little Mormon but not fully. Um, and it just didn’t work out. What, what uh, year was that? That was senior year. I was really feeling thirsty to get someone before I went to college. Mm-hmm. That sounds bad, but I just really, I didn’t wanna kiss somebody for the first time in college. Yeah. Alright. Yeah. The theater kids. I was in theater. Is that Chappell Roan? Guys, don’t worry about it. Yeah, it’s Chappell Roan. I just graduated. I just graduated yesterday. That’s my friend. Um, but yeah, that’s, and then all the, the nerdy black kids, it’s kind of us there. That’s, that was kind of my crew, just being loud and weird. Oh, so this embarrassing moment is, it kinda actually started in middle school. I did a, a performance to Toxic that was a lip sync and it was because I wasn’t prepared for theater one day and people really enjoyed it. And so then they asked me to do it at birthday parties and I, so I started doing it and the parents were like, why is she being so sexual with our children? Because I was really rolling on the floor at like 12 and like. Throwing it back and they were like, this is really weird. And all the boys would run away, and I loved it. Um, and, uh, anyways, in high school I started doing it to, um, uh, my Chemical Romance songs. Heck yes. And, and, and I remember I did my last one probably in Spanish class when it kind of got a pretty tepid response. Oh. Um, because I think everyone was like. Why are you doing that? And I was like, I really don’t know. No. Wait. Was it related to Spanish class at all? The class. Class at all? Okay. Whose side are you on? Was it Enrique? What? What? What do you guys want from me? Okay. Just confused. I, okay. So yes, Spanish class ended. I cue up my chemical romance on the iPod and I go to town. Okay. And Wow. And that’s it. Amazing. Oh man. Aw, this is tough. I think this is a pretty easy one for me. Oh, uhoh. Listen, I do think there are some classic nerd things going on. Totally the above, the 4.0 GPA theater stuff, et cetera. But I think there are a lot of trappings of a classic cool kid here. Limo what? Prom. So I think lip sync I’m gonna make a case for is the kind of performance cool kids did. Yeah. In high school. Now you offset it with. Theater, which– Investigation? So in my experience there was like. I, I know what you mean. There was like a lip sync show and it was what all of the sporty kids did. They called they it the Milli Vanilli show at my, at my high school. Oh, that was a fun topical reference at the time. Yeah. Uh, we were older than you, but I do think lip syncing, although. You know, doing it in class is one thing, but I do think that kind of lip-syncing was something that cool kids did at a time to perform. Anyway. Okay. I’m ready. Y’all ready. Y’all are ready. Okay. I guess we’ll go down the line. I’m gonna give you a solid B. Okay. Um, a lot of what you showed and, uh, spoke about really resonated with me and my high school experience. Uh, so it was pretty good. Thank you. Yeah. Some points docked for, uh, for theater, for GPA. What is going on? But isn’t it good? Don’t we want to be cool? Is that not the game? Yeah. Yes. Go. It’s a B. Oh, I didn’t know where a B as well. Oh wow. Yeah, because of the lip syncing. Because if you had the confidence to do that, then I think you were actually at a cooler status. Mm-hmm. Than you’re giving yourself. Wow. Okay. Uh, that brooch. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly. Sorry, there were some old lady things going on. Absolutely. Pearls. Yes. She was hanging out with the alco section. I have something, something makes me feel like you would not like me. In high school that I, it would’ve been like, Ew, this girl’s trash. Like, you know what I mean? I feel like you’re right about the lip-syncing thing. That is a cool kid thing. Yes. Honestly, the balls to do that is pretty cool. Wow. You’re very beautiful though. Also. Yeah, that’s, that is a cool point. But you ruined it with pearl necklaces and broaches, so it’s like you couldn’t even see how pretty you were. Alright, Mamrie, you’re up next. Okay. Okay. Well my name is Ma Marie. And I had a much different high school experience than you guys. Um, let me just preface this with, I grew up in a town with one stoplight, so we had to make our own fun. Mm-hmm. Uhoh. Okay. I don’t even know what I turned in, like I didn’t do the homework for this presentation, if that gives you any indication. GPA already questionable. Well, however. I had the same exact GPA as Rachel. Everybody is so smart. Okay. Taking AP courses. Wow. Um, this is me on the homecoming court. Wow. Wow. Um, always on it. Never a winner, but feeling pretty good in my business. Casual from Fels. Um, I was an American Allstar cheerleader. Thank you so much. Very flexible. Very flexible show choir. Um, I was the only white girl on the step team. Wow. And I do get drunk and still break out the routine quite regularly these days. Can we get some fireball in here? Can we get some fireball? I wanna see it. Let go. I was in plays as well. Theater kids. Mm-hmm. I was in Steel Magnolias as Shelby. Oh. And my diabetic seizure was so convincing. Someone tried to stop the play. Wow. Oh my God. The thought of high school kids doing steel magnolias is hilarious. Yeah. It, it’s so inappropriate. It’s me. It’s wonderful. Yeah, it was perfect. And then I was also starred in Gypsy, uh, which is great in theory, but then it was just stripping in front of my whole school. Wow. It’s a story about== I’m lot of “starred in.” Yeah. So I mean. A lot of “starred in”. So yeah, so I think you can offset drama club when you star in. You can, because I think also when you’re a cheerleader. Yeah, they the only white girl on the step team. Come on. It was good. It was good. But we, I did color guard. Uh oh. Well my dance teacher, ’cause I also like danced at a dance studio. She was the. The head of the color guard. So I felt pressured, oh, to do it my freshman and sophomore year. Um, let’s see what else we got. Oh, okay. This is just a normal typical Friday night. We hung out at the McDonald’s parking lot. Mm-hmm. Uh, ’cause the rednecks hung out at the Kmart parking lot. The McDonald’s was a cool one. A truck drove past and some power tools fell off of the back. So I swiftly grabbed them and sold them. Amazing. And we threw a party with the proceeds. You swiftly sold them. How long did it take you to sell them? Well, this was before Craigslist. We had to just kind of go around and be like, who needs, who’s in the market for a jigsaw? Right. Right. You know, before people were buried in their phones. There we go. Sold power tools. Tools, sold, power tools, face to face, touch grass. Everybody, strangers, you know, we heard like whose older boyfriend was in construction, that kind of thing. But I was arrested my senior year when a group of us were going to just roll the school courtyard. Classic just toilet paper. Oh, you know, like nothing great chalk, you know, like seniors rule type of thing. And a cop rolled up and we got arrested and thrown in the back of a paddy wagon, taken to jail. They had to have our parents pick us up. My mother’s an insomniac and takes really heavy medication, so I got a drive home. I thought I got scot free. Next day I called into the principal’s office. They took away my singing solo at graduation. Oh. Oh my God. What I’m hearing is singing solo. Right. I think let’s make up for that right now. Hit it. And it was the The Tarzan Phil Collins song. Wow. So we’ll have to sing something in the public domain now. That is so stupid. I’m so angry for you. Thank you. They gave me 20 hours community service. And one of the things I had to do was wake up the next day after graduation and stack all the chairs, but you already graduated. Oh, it was the cops. Okay, so I shopped at Abercrombie and Fitch. Okay. No, I shop lifted. How did you shop there? Because you had one stoplight. Y’all had an Abercrombie? No, no, no. We had cars and we had to drive about 45 minutes. Oh, okay. Got it. Yeah. What was the most expensive thing you ever shoplifted? Like a $400 jacket. Wow. Woo. Guys. I’m not proud of it, but I do have some good pointers. Never got caught. Thank God. I should have, I should have been in trouble, but, so yeah. Uh, this was like dressed as a celebrity day and so I was Cher from Clueless. Can’t see. My friend Pio was Erica Badu. You know, we were, that’s not my normal look. This was as an American all star cheerleader. I went to London for the 2000 New Year’s parade. Cool. And marched in it. Gosh. So looking pretty cool. Let’s see what else we got. Oh, I did have a jam band. You talk about the jam band base? Yeah. Yeah. I had a jam band face that was like directly correlated with a boyfriend. Okay. You know what I mean? So I was going to see string cheese incident and wearing long skirts and some crystals. I think this is important here when we’re judging, uh, coolness. Yeah. At these jam band concerts where you experimenting with drugs. I was only drinking. Okay. I did not smoke weed till college. Okay. I must admit. Okay. Take that into your judging. Uh, cool. Because arresting! Being arrested wasn’t cool enough? A cool kid would’ve dropped acid. Um, okay. Driver’s license at 16. Oh my God, what happened to your eye? This was Halloween. You guys, I did not understand this slideshow. Did you know this was the first time me and my friends like parlayed into sexy Halloween. So we have like a Playboy bunny, et cetera, and I was wearing a very, what was Britney Spears in the red. Oops. I did it again. Oops. I did it again. I had on a leopard jacket, and then at the last minute I got self-conscious and was like, this isn’t goofy enough. And took an eyeliner. And, and exited out my tooth and my eyeball. That was, but not a Britney Spears reference? No, no, no. Just sort. Just a, just a hot girl who fell down. Uhhuh hot girl who fell down. You know, uh, significant others, about three. Two real ones. One short-lived one. It was during the phase where like goggles, oh, were popular. So I don’t really claim him. Okay. Social life popular. Sorry, I was popular. Um, this is, I got class actor, but let me explain the photo. So I thought I was gonna sweep everything I thought I was gonna get. Most likely to succeed, best looking, funniest, all of ’em. I got nothing. So my best friend was the yearbook editor and just made one up for me, but we didn’t, but we didn’t have our photo together, so they just literally cut a a photo of me sitting on my bed, cut my — off. I guess I look highly deformed. And, and my friend Ricky, and they just stuck us in as class actor. Okay. It wasn’t a category that was ever voted on. I love it. Here’s me at prom looking great. That was our signature post. Okay. We were talking about racks earlier. Yeah. Dang. Well, to be fair, I ordered this prom dress ’cause you know how to order them like months in advance. Mm-hmm. Um, and I was like, well, I’m gonna lose 10 pounds by the time. So I ordered a size down. By the time it came in, I’d gained weight. So I had like a team of three have to like sew in panels. So that’s why the boobs were looking rich right there. Let’s see. Embarrassing moment. Uh, getting an infected belly piercing. That was at senior week at Myrtle Beach. We got kicked out of our motel after night one, so we lived out of a car for a while and I just got my belly pierced for the trip. Um, oh yeah. Best actress by pity. And I think that’s it. Wow. So that’s the vibe. This is, this is easy. This is easy. Yeah, for sure. It’s, and I, I think we need to point to all the trouble. We need to point to the arrested. We need to point to all the shoplifting and stuff. These are cool kids. Are they cool? Yes. Every, everything. Everything that you said. Yeah. Yeah. This is a, this is a, this is a cool kid. You’re making movies about this kind of thing. I might not have won best actress, but this is a big moment. You had someone love you so much that they created a whole category just for you. What’s cooler than that? Yeah. Thanks guys. This means a lot. You’ve done it. Yeah. You’ve really done it. Did you hear that? Alright. Mamie, you got a across the board, I believe that’s a 4.0. But as we’ve learned today, there’s more than a 4.0 out there and I’m about to get it. Yeah, that’s right. It’s time for Jordan. Okay. High school. Academics. 3.5. I thought that was pretty good. Apparently it wasn’t. Apparently you can get a nine point 10. So 3.5. All right. Uh, pretty good language skills. Not great with math. Not great with, uh, foreign languages. Had some attention span issues. Doesn’t mean I wasn’t cool. Extracurriculars drama club. Let’s go down the plays. Our town. I was Doc Gibbs. Yeah, that’s right. Yeah. The town doctor. I painted on crow’s feet to look old. I did my own. That’s cool. Uh, musicals. The Secret garden. The boyfriend noises off. I got to do a little British accent. Ooh. You know this. Look at me, asshole. Love to do a British accent at school. Do it right now. Oh, you mean this one lady Jordan had to step out to the l I’m, I’m his good friend from the British Isles. I am. I am. Thank you. And. The improv group. I know what you’re saying. This guy with two podcasts and a lot of Godzilla shirts was off the improv. Steve. Yeah, he was, uh, swimming, did a little swimming. I can, you know, I I made sure to, to keep, uh, athletics in the picture even though I was very busy with improv and plays church youth group. Yeah. You know what’s cooler than a guy who loves the Lord? The answer. Nothing. Mm-hmm. Uh, and of course I won best monologue in a drama competition. What was the monologue? You know those little books they give you like monologues for teens? Yeah. And they’re not from anything, but it’s like a kid going like, you’re always fake smoking a cigarette. You’re always fake smoking a cigarette, which I had done so I knew how to fake smoke it. So it was always like, I mean, I don’t think I want my mom’s life. It’s like that. And it was one of those that was like Bryce or something. Yeah. Anyway, what, what’s happening? What’s going on visually? Yeah. So this is a school dance and uh, as I mentioned, I was in the drama club and when we went to dances. We would wear our costume from the play. Yeah. Not annoying at all. What, what is the hat? Is that a feather? This was maybe from when we did Shakespeare. This was maybe a costume from the Scottish Play, which as a drama kid, I know you can’t say, say the name of the Scottish Play for Tragedy may befall you. It’s Beth. Yeah. Um. Style. Oh, cool. Yeah, that guy’s cool. Yeah, I know. So this is all thrifted, big thrift shop guy. This is the mid nineties Birkenstock sandals with socks. With socks. Thank you. And I, I don’t know if you could see on the other side, big old wallet chain. Big wallet. Yes. You know, and I think I wanted people to think I was random. That was my thing. I’m like, this guy’s random. So it’s like what? That was cool though. I know. It was cool. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. Oh, self-consciously random. I mentioned it. Uh, I was fun. Uh, it’s what you call yourself when you kind of wanna be funny, but you don’t. Know what a joke is, so you just act weird and you’re like, I’m random, and everyone loves it, and no one’s annoyed by you. Big tongue out guy. Yeah, big tongue out guy. I think I, you know, was maybe self-conscious about having my picture taken, so I was always do something funny. Yeah. Cool. I, I think it’s, thank you. I do look cool here. He was made for thumbnail photos. Yes, I know exactly. Day one. Yeah. I ate everything at the Cheesecake Factory. So random. 10 million views. Random and yeah, I think it’s worth mentioning, this is the mid nineties in Orange County, California. Wow. Skate punk, huge. The ska revival going strong. Guess who is into that? Yeah, this guy, this guy bought a pair of bowling shoes at a thrift shop. Nice. Wore them to school as regular shoes. There is no grip on the bottom of bowling shoes. So I fell down the stairs. Did I stop wearing them? No. Cool. Cool kids get hurt and keep doing the same thing over and over again ’cause they’re committed to being, say it with me random, which is good. Social life driver’s license. Uh, 16. Another tongue out there, you know, orange County, Southern California, big car culture. So driver’s license, you had to have one. Uh, significant others. Uh, one, uh, senior year, first girlfriend. Again, as I mentioned, youth group kids, so I didn’t want to get too involved with girls. Uh, lest, I sin, um, friend group, of course we got the drama kids, you got the punk rock kids and of course the Christian Youth Group kids. Are there three cooler groups of kids out of school? No. Again, we have a costume from a play at a dance. Oh my god. Costume from a play at a dance. You pick your hair like that with one little curl up across. It’s probably LA looks gel, I would guess. That is LA Looks gel. The coolest gel, best hair Homecoming king. It’s a thing. So. Wow. I’ll say I was voted homecoming king. You could stop listening now and just give me your A’s. ’cause I need them. That’s cool. But I learned later in life that I, the homecoming election was rigged in my favor. A guy contacted me after we had graduated and he said, Hey, remember how you won Homecoming king? You didn’t. We rigged it, somebody else won. And I found someone who worked in the office at my high school reunion and I asked like. Is that true? Did that happen? And she’s like, yeah, we totally did it. And I said, why? Why did you do it? And she was drunk. And she goes, because we could. So it was just joker who loved chaos in the office. The real winner she told me was Scott Chio. Scott Chio, you’re the rightful homecoming king. If you’re watching Scott’s, uh, that crown was yours now. Why did they do that? It could be two things. One, because they actually liked me and they thought I was cool and deserved to win. Two, they were making fun of me. Let’s go with it was the cool one. And they liked me. Yes. And it wasn’t, uh, a big old one. I wanna beat people up. Wait, wait, wait. Sent to Disney Jail. Oh yeah. So again, random, uh, we were on a, we were on a trip to Disneyland and. Here was our thing. This is great. You would love this and not hate me. We would carry bubble pipes around with us and pretend we were smoking them in public and they saw us at Disneyland and they thought they were real pipes and they took us to a little area outside Disneyland that’s a jail. And when then they saw they, they were bubble pipes. They let us go. Basically the same arrest story as me. Thank you. Yes, I got two, two. Two troublemakers both equally. Cool. Both. Detained for real reasons. What two cool dudes. And that way to go is me. You may present me your As for I was cool. Well, you know, I mean, there is something, there is something cool I know in the energy. This is hard. This is tough. This one’s tough. I don’t think it is. I, I, I think, I think disagree. I, I’m battling with what? I think is cool now, right? Yeah. Yeah. Is what I wanna know now. This is very cool. Yeah. This is a character in like a John Hughes movie, like he’s mm-hmm. Yeah. But was Ducky was that cool then I know why we’re taking this long. How only, how long does it take to write an a It doesn’t take that long to write a That’s my biggest stru struggle is like if, if it was like me today. A for sure a plus maybe even because you know the hair. Sure. But I’m thinking about then I’m thinking about me, then I’m thinking about You have to, um, I’m sorry, I’m gonna go with a, a c plus. Yeah. C plus. Okay. Okay. C plus rigged like a certain other election. I remember. Uh, well, I am happy to present a b plus. Okay. Um, I think the punk and the, the thrifting was very cool points deducted for. Too much Jesus. For my personal total. Yeah. Fair. But like the overall look. Okay, thank you. I went with a B. Okay. Just sort of steady right in the middle, you know? And again, if it were today, I might, I might give you a little more, but I think for school times. Yeah. Okay. Yep. Thank you. Oh, Jordan. Yeah, I gave you a c. Um, we would’ve hung out for sure, but the feather cap at the school dance. Wow. Yeah. Most of my stuff is fashion related. Isn’t this crazy? I don’t like, who cares? And then. Going to Disney’s jail for a bubble pipe. I mean, yeah, I was, I was doing some posturing there. I know how that all sounds. I get it. I love how he was like, you didn’t even drop acid at these shows and you got arrested for a bubble pie. Don’t point out inconsistencies. So yeah, that’s, that’s how I feel about that as cool gals. Right. Grownup gals, we would see this teenager and think he was cool. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. For what that’s worth. Thank you. Oh, I could probably introduce, it seems. It feels like we’re done. Uh, alright. Last final contestant. Emily Fleming. Emily Fleming. All right. This me. All right. I had 2.45. Did you know it could go that low? I had two head attention issues. Some are worse than others. I guess. You have Stevie’s, GPA, but backwards. I know. Read it the other way. That’s. Stevie, she, listen, I’ll say this, by my senior year, I was finally diagnosed with A DHD and got the medication I needed and I got it up to a 2.75. Alright? So I went to Catholic school, not Catholic. I got in trouble in public school, in middle school, and my mom worked at the Catholic school and said, you gotta go here. And so I did. And, uh, do you wanna elaborate on this trouble you got in? Mm-hmm. I wore a red. Bandana to school in the eighth grade and uh, there was a zero tolerance policy that was happening with gang related symbols. So I was handcuffed because I guess I’m in the bloods. Where did you grow up, right? Yeah, Nashville, Tennessee. Home of the bloods and the crips. Yes. Also. No, the WWJD bracelet on the ankle. Oh, that’s right. [bleep] for Jesus. Wow. Okay. I played volleyball, I was played varsity. I also played travel volleyball all year. I was very into volleyball forensics, public speaking competitions. That’s what forensics is. Uh, theater mock trial. Did that for a while. That was fun. Church choir. Uh, and then I won this fine arts award. Uh. Well at graduation that I did not know I was gonna win. And that was the day I had alcohol for the first time because I had terrible period cramps. And my grandmother made me a hot toddie. Yes. And she, I didn’t know alcohol was in there. And then I’m like, schwastie in like the seat at the Grand Ole Opry. ’cause that’s where we graduated from. And um, they called my name for an award and my shoes were off. And I was like, you know, like kind of had to get my shoes on and be like, what? So. Yep. Won that award. I assume this is a play photo. Oh yeah. I was, uh, Marian Peru in the Music Man, so I was the lead in that one. You don’t think we’re gonna have to note that? This was my, my boyfriend in high school senior year, he was really great, but he was very Catholic and the oldest of six kids and it just wasn’t gonna work out. Follow up question. How many trombones led the big parade? 76. Seven six, okay. Yep. So there’s that. I would shop at this place. Look at this. So I’m wearing jewelry that I made. Nothing’s changed. But yeah, I would get stuff at this store. Pangaea, which is RIP. It was in Nashville. Really cool. Kind of a anthropology vibe, huh? But I didn’t get to wear a lot of clothes, you know, like that. I was wearing uniforms. Oh yeah. I was wearing uniforms. Right. A lot. So I like got to do that. This is a senior year photo? Senior photo, yep. At for the Catholic school. Yeah. So they were like, you can wear whatever you want. Yes. And you, because you’re showing some skin. I know. This is, I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t have. Pubes that high then I don’t now. You think that’s what anyone wants? Didn’t do now. Oh yeah. I got a blower too. They just keep going. They’re going like this soon. I’ll just be a pube monster. Spread ’em like Angie Monster. Yeah. Like that Monster Bugs Buddy runs away from Yes, with the sneakers, but they’re not red. This is fake. And then this was my prom dress. It was like my mom’s. Friends’ mother. It’s from the forties. It’s like an old, really pretty red. Loved it. I got my driver’s license at 17. I didn’t wanna drive. I hated it. I still don’t drive. Hated it, so I just put it off as much as possible. I also failed the driver’s test three times, significant. Others, I think it was seven. I had a couple secret ones. I probably had two at the same time, a few times. Oh, I’m a bad person then. I’m a bad person then. But I had this secret boyfriend that I wasn’t supposed to be dating, that was in my youth group that I would sneak around with. Why? Why? He was older. Oh. And my parents. Yeah. Eagle. Was he in the youth group? Right. He was in the youth group, but he was like considered. Ws he leading the youth group? No. But I think he is a youth pastor now. Okay. Um, my parents played his wedding. They were the band. Your parents are in a band? My dad is, but my parents also play music together. Okay. That’s kind of cool. Dad in a band. I know. Pretty cool. Anyway, so I think it was seven, but I had the secret boyfriend, but then it was like we both were like, okay, we will be in love with each other. But we can have other Oh, oh, you are poll. But we didn’t tell other people we were dating that we were secretly together. So we lost our virginities to totally different people and then told each other about it. Oh wow. Okay. It’s kind of weird. Uh, I was in an improv group that was at Rocket Town. We had a, um, there was an improv troop called Fists of Funk and in Fists. Oh no. We just had a fist that was in a star and we would do short form in malls. Um, all right, so I got most talented, nice. I won that fine arts award where I was drunk and I went and got that award. Um, but I didn’t drink at all in high school. I didn’t smoke mar marijuana or can I say that I did not garden and I did not drink in high school. I was a good kid except for my grandmother was a. Push her, you know? Yeah. She’s getting, you was most talented. Was that a made up category? No. No, not a made up category. I won best. Best kid. Yeah. Let’s get to what we wanna get to. All right. I got so many UTIs. Listen, my mom, like, I remember we went to the pediatrician. She was like, give her a pregnancy test. I think that she’s, she’s whoring around. And I’m like, no, it’s just boys don’t. Wash their hands and that’s about it. Um, so there it is. Okay. Wow. Oh, a challenge. This is a challenge. Boy, I hope my mom does not watch this at all. I think what we have here is a pretty. Classic cool kid with one or two glaring issues with one or two things that cannot be ignored. Yeah. So I do, I do think pretty, pretty classic cool kid in many, many ways. I think we have to deduct a full grade or improv a mall. Come on. Yeah. Fists of Funk. Fist of funk is, I think, was fist ultimately your undoing. Yeah. Um, yeah. But up until that I think you were an A, but sorry about that. All right. Cool. Yeah. It’s gonna be a B for me. Okay. Um, fist of funk, uh, even also the image, the fist and the star. God, is absolutely wild. We had a 10-year-old in the group and he did Austin Power’s impressions. That was all he did. Oh, oh, okay. And, and I’ll stand by. Yes. I also solid B. All right. Same fist of funk. I can just picture myself leaving the mall with a stolen coat going, who are these [bleep]? They’re making it easier for me to steal because they’re. Yes. And yeah. Gap sweater. I have a suggestion. Everybody turn around. Look, God. Um, I dunno if you would’ve wanted to be considered cool necess, like you seem like. You know, I think I did, but then it was just like. Okay, great, because I gave you an A on that. Ah, this, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I agree with your summation, but then my grade went here versus down one with that. Um, and yeah, I agree. So, yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you very much. I wanna apologize to my mother for all of this and my father. Okay, that means with a cool GPA of 4.0. Mamrie is our winner today. Yay. And you’ll be memorialized in a special yearbook photo on at Mythical uh, social channels, and you will be named most likely to be coolest. Oh, a real one. Please don’t cut off my butt in the photo. Thanks to our crew and special thanks to Mamrie, uh, for letting us embarrass you today. You can grab her first cookbook. All I think about is food. A vegetarian cookbook that’ll keep the party going is out on April 29th. Woo hoo. Thank you for watching. We’ll see you next week. Check out Emily, Have you seen this? On mythicalsociety.com.