- Just go? – [Voice] Yeah man, have at it. – Well, all right. I want to do something little different today. That’s all I got. That’s really all it was. I want to do something a little different today, right? So normally I’m cooking, that’s what you guys are used to seeing me at. But, I got this box of Joy Waffle Cones. This is a box of waffle cones that I have enjoyed many times in the past. Joy is actually the world’s leader in waffle cone production. Over 1.5 billion units sold every single year, company is almost 100 years old. I looked at the front and I was like wow, I want to be the person enjoying this waffle cone. And then I turned to the back of the box and I saw the dumbest food I’ve ever seen in my life. Ladies and gentlemen, meet salad cone. It is a simple blend of mixed greens and cherry tomatoes inside of an ice cream cone and that’s it. Who is the person who made the decision to put that on the box? ‘Cause I know we’re like confronted with so many images on a day-to-day basis, at least I kind of assume a lot of them are created by some sort of artificial intelligence or bot that an algorithm that is designed to put them in front of you. But this was a person. This was a person who decided that this needed to be an item that existed in the real world. And I saw this and said, that is unequivocally, undoubtedly, the stupidest food I’ve ever seen. And I’m only saying that from a place of love because I consider myself to be a stupid food connoisseur. I have made flaming hot pop tarts that left my toilet bowl stained for days. I have made something simply called hot dog cake which is both disrespectful to hot dog and cake at the same time yet still, I was flummoxed at the pure, beautiful, stupid simplicity of salad cone. Now what makes a dumb food? Like first thing you got to ask yourself, how would this actually taste? Right, ’cause one of the joys of eating a waffle cone with ice cream is that the ice cream melts down into the bottom of the waffle cone and you’re licking it around, you’re crunching through the cone, you get that beautiful, perfect last bite of ice cream in the bottom of the cone. You kind of slurp it down. Can you imagine instead of melted ice cream, a little puddle of lettuce sweat and balsamic vinegarette, the butt end of salad cone disgusts me in a way that I didn’t prepare myself for. Number two, how are you supposed to eat it? Are you just supposed to like lick the cherry tomatoes? Are you supposed to take the lettuce sweat and just, are you supposed to take a fork and stick that into the salad cone itself and just eat it like a normal salad? But then why the cone? What is this? Who is this for? My theory, I think that someone saw the rise of salad chains in America and it was like, you know what? There’s money in salad right now. You’ve got these waffle cones. The world wants salad. Let’s bring them together. My other theory is that Kyle, let’s just call him Kyle, invented the salad cone, mandated that it was put on the back of the box, it became such an embarrassment for the company that they scrubbed any mention of it on their website, ’cause here’s the thing, you see recipes on the Joy Cone’s website. You got all these cupcakes, you got all these shooters, you got like fruit filled cones and all that. Never once on their active recipe website do they mention salad cone. I think it was such an embarrassment to the company that they fired Kyle but they’d already printed the boxes and gotten them into smart and finals all over which is where I found them because that’s I mean, I was trying to get marshmallow fluff in bulk ’cause I was making some burnt marshmallow ice cream and that’s where I was. But Joy Waffle Cones are not responsible for this. Because I have seen this phenomenon elsewhere. And there are two things that I think led to Joy Waffle Cone creating this absolutely abominable salad cone, I believe that is Larry The Cable Guy in 17th century Hungarian peasant, stay with me. First time I ever saw food inside of a cone that was incredibly questionable was that the Cozy Cone Motel in Cars Land at Disneyland. That’s right cars featuring Larry The Cable Guy playing Tomedter, he carried that series, it wasn’t Owen Wilson. At The Cozy Cone Motel, they served all their food inside of bread cones. I believe it’s based on this Hungarian dish that we called chimney cakes but are actually called kurtoskalacs where you take bread dough and you wrap it around a cone shaped object and then you bake it and then it creates this really cool spiral bread cone. So it was actually popular at a couple of restaurants in Anaheim that were serving it with like ice cream and stuff at the time, Anaheim, same place as Disneyland. Then at Cozy Cone Motel, they took this kurtoskalacs and they filled it with things like queso, they called it chili cone queso. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha. It was in a cone. Anyways, that became really big on social media. And there’s one other key player to this and that is Chicken Cone that opened up in New York City around the same time, you’re just slurping down chicken out of an open waffle cone. It doesn’t actually make sense, but still I see the little nugget of logic and the thing about Chicken Cone is that it freaking exploded all over social media and thus the mainstream American Instagram driven questionable cone food was established. And that idea somehow trickles down into this. There is no possible way in any conceivable world that someone might ever want to make or enjoy this. It is simply the salad exists, the cone exists., therefore salad cone must exist and I can’t get past it. That said, I’ve never actually eaten it. I’m gonna make me a salad cone. And I am going into it with (laughs) with no bias despite all the minutes of ranting and yelling that you heard, I am going to shut that completely out of my mind and I’m going to see if salad cone is truly the dumbest food in the world, or maybe a surprising delight and maybe I am the real dumbest food in the world. – [Voice] Yo, I think this lettuce package was opened at the store. What does E. Coli smell like? – I’ve got my mise en place. You think Joy Waffle Cone would wanna sponsor a video? Joy Waffle Cone, your redemption rant for, we’ll discuss figures. Why don’t you open? Got it, this is off to a great start. All right, I’m gonna line the inside with a little bit of vinegarette. ‘Cause if I was to do that, that’s how I would do it. We’re gonna take some 50/50 spinach and spring mix, may or may not have some E. Coli in it. Beautiful, couple cherry tomatoes. This is it! This is a salad cone. I mean, it’s pretty identical to that one, they cut the cherry tomatoes in half, I’m not gonna do that. This looks like the fire fest lunch, this is like if they were promised like hand passed appetizer canepes to go along with your Ja Rule Ciroc cocktail hour or whatever. Anyways, I gotta eat it, I don’t know what to do. Do I lick it? Eh, I think you just gotta bite it. (laughs) It’s honestly somehow worse, it was worse then I expected. I thought I knew what it was gonna taste like. I was like well you’d eat a salad with croutons. Why not kinda flip that script around? But you get immediately hit with this just like artificial kind of sugary flavor that you expect from ice cream and then your teeth are just kind of chomping through this cold half dry lettuce There is absolutely nothing pleasant about this, but I gotta bite open the bottom. ‘Cause I want the soggy balsamic vinegarette. (coughs) Yep. That’s about what I expected. Ironically, that was the best part ’cause it kinda tastes like chips and dip in a small, weird way. In conclusion, there are certainly dumber foods out there that might exist, at least according to multi verse theory and the idea that there’s an infinite amount of possibilities and an infinite amount of realms saying this is objectively the dumbest food or criminally stupid or the person who made this should absolutely have been fired, Kyle ad exec. That said, man, what a bad dish. I will say though, I had a small moment of clarity when I bought these cones I like made my ice cream, I ate it, it was burnt marshmallow ice cream, it was ugh, absolutely lovely. But later that night I was sittin’ on the couch and I wanted to eat some grapes, but I didn’t wanna dirty a dish, so I took some grapes and I just plopped them inside of a waffle cone and I just sucked the grapes out of a waffle cone and then I ate the waffle cone after, and it was such a nice treat. It absolutely made my night. It was like an act of love from Joy Cones being like Josh, enjoy this nice, edible plate. So, maybe salad cone is just a necessary consequence of shot gun methoding the entire food world and trying to create such a simple hack as grape cone, for grape cone to exist, then salad cone must also exist. Bad foods must exist for the good foods to be better And so, salad cone, I hate you but also I salute you because you have served your purpose. The salad cone is dead, long live salad cone. Well thanks for listening to what I have to say and thank you for stopping by The Mythical Kitchen, we got new recipes out for you every week, we got new episodes of our podcast up every Wednesday wherever you get your podcast. Hit us up on Instagram @MythicalKitchen with pictures of your stupidest foods you’ve ever seen under @DreamsBecomeFood, we’ll see ya next time, let me know what you want me to rant about next ’cause I had fun, did you have fun? 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