MK 1144: How Emily shot her shot with Ben Schwartz

I have a story about Ben Schwarz. I interned for Upright Citizens Brigade Theater when I was 19. And so I worked the I was terrible. They had a bad flood in the theater which was in a basement and it was my job to let the beer guy in. And I went in there and there was like knee deep of water and I just walked away. That’s exactly what I would have done, especially when I was a kid. But as a 19-year-old, what do you stand against? And I’m not get paid. That’s that’s paid stuff. So sometimes people would come by and visit me at my little desk if they were bored. And Ben Schwarz would come hang out with me sometimes because I watched a lot of movie trailers. I loved movie trailers. And I showed him the movie trailer for that Terry Gilliam movie Tideland that was going to come out. But he was so nice to me that I thought surely he has a crush on me. Maybe I should Do you mistake that often? Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. At least you’re honest about it. Yes. And I think Ben Schwar’s the ultimate man who just wants human connection and that’s what he values. He’s just nice. He’s a nice guy and I was madly in love with him. And I asked him if he wanted to like go to a movie later and he goes, “Oh, I have a girlfriend.” And I was like, “No.” Oh, and Emily, but hey, I shot my shot that never sailed. I tried. I tried. That’s all you can do. He wasn’t into it, but man, he’s on the show so much. And why are you doing that to me? Like it’s just like I have to keep looking at this gorgeous, talented man who I can never have. He’s Yeah, he’s gorgeous and he’s talented, but he’s also just like the best guy I’ve ever met. I know. You know,

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