Is a hot dog a sandwich? The dictionary definition of a sandwich states there needs to be two distinct pieces of bread, but then, a Subway sandwich wouldn’t be considered a sandwich and neither would a cheese steak. But maybe both of those are merely subs, hoagies, grinders, heroes, subsets of a sandwich archetype in the same way that a hot dog is. But perhaps the sheer popularity and ubiquity of hot dogs makes them exist outside of any sort of standard taxonomy ’cause if I asked someone to get me a hot dog and they get me a hoagie, then I have every right to be pissed off, even though lots of lobster rolls are literally served in hot dog buns. And of course, a lobster roll’s a sandwich, so then we have to ask ourselves, what is it about a tube of processed meat that allows it to exist outside of all known rules of logic, language, and constitutional law? So if we were to compress lobster meat into a tube and put it into a hot dog bun, is that a lobster roll or a hot dog? Which begs the question, what is the meaning of life? Oh, that tastes real funny.