Maybe I can hip thrust a Chicken Fry out. Yeah, no, get it, get it out. Oh, it was a close! Was it close? That was close! Oh! Ha ha ha! Trevor, in 2016, the orange-fingered snack cat formed an alliance with burger royalty to bring Cheeto Chicken Fries to Burger Kings everywhere. But they were not long for this Earth, as the Burger King put their head on a proverbial chopping block, in a horrifying public execution. But Trevor, today, we bring it back. It’s time for. Past Food. Trevor, you’ve had Cheetos? Yes. You’re familiar with the Burger King? Yes. Yes, yes, yes, indeed, indeed. So Burger King is no stranger to using novelty foods to attract the attention of adult teens like yourself. I’m not a teenager, Josh. You’re an adult teenager. I’m not, no. You have the spirit. I’m 21 years old. Not a teenager. Oh, big Trevor, 21-year-old. Yeah! In four years I can rent a car from fricking Avis. Yeah. I don’t know. What I’m saying is, they were trying to attract the demographic of you. Honestly, it was like 18 to 34-year-old super fans, is what they called them, when they introduced Chicken Fries in 2005. But then those got discontinued, and then when they brought them back in 2015, 2016, is when they introduced the Cheeto Chicken Fries. Yeah. Your gesturing is distracting me but it’s still like it. I’m sorry, do you want me to stop? It’s like a mirror. People say that you’re turning into me and I see it. We both got the George Michael earring going on. Do it in post. So we’re going to use these Chicken Fries here as inspiration. We want to try and get the exact shape of the Chicken Fry correct, and then we got some Cheetos to go for flavor matching, but I think we’re going to have to do a lot of this work from scratch trying to recreate it. But also Trevor, they discontinued their Chicken Fry sauce. They had a sauce? They had a sauce. Cool. It’s called Chicken Fry sauce. You’ll see the secret super top secret double secret probation. I bet it’s just something mixed with mayonnaise. Yup. All right, Trevor. Are you ready to stick it to that feudal overlord, the Burger King? I know you don’t like Chicken Fries. I love Chicken Fries. I think they’re amazing, so I’m really excited. I’m pumped. I’m freakin’ pumped! Pop, pop. Anti Chicken Fry guy here. No, you did not. No, you did not get it. I got practice. Welcome to the cooking show. The show we cook cookin’. You like Chicken Fries? I do, this is an enjoyable experience for me. You like them so much. I think Chicken Fries are BS. Why? This is a chicken nugget with less chicken than a chicken nugget. All they’re doing is skimming costs. It’s good because- They’re skimming costs. It’s in line form. What is in line form? They’re not even fries. This is not the shape of a fry. It’s a fry! Josh, it’s gonna be fun. It’s going to be fun. We’re gonna do it! We’re gonna be good, we’re gonna be good. I’m gonna start dicing up some chicken thigh. Cool, what do you want me to do? Man the grinder. I’m gonna throw this in here and you’re gonna grind it. Oh! You got chicken all over me. Actually no, it’s okay. You know what, I’m over my fear of touching raw meat. Yeah, yeah. Just touch the raw meat, man. You already did something real weird going on there. Oh, I need more. Yeah, you can just wait ’til I’ve done a fair amount of this. We just talk and BS and banter like we do in the show. Oh, yeah, okay. So what do you want to talk about? Well, the chicken right now is par frozen. That’s a great way when you’re making some sort of sausage. That’s kind of what we’re making, right? We’re essentially making a sausage here. Wait, you actually want to talk about cooking. I thought you were going to talk about like movies or something. Oh, what do you wanna, you wanna talk about like, oh Trevor, what you do when you were a kid? I rode my bike a lot, actually. I should get back to that. I miss doing that. I used to ride my bike to this gas station by my house and I would always go get a Slurpee, and then one time when I was on my way home, I was riding my bike, and I was holding the Slurpee in my hand, but I could ride my bike with no hands, so I was like, oh, it’s okay. I’m cool. And then I fell and I like pitched over the front of my bike and I dropped my Slurpee and it was really sad and I cried. What? I stole a lot of candy from Rite Aid. If you think about what a Chicken Fry is, it’s essentially like a sausage. It’s not real chicken meat. They like grind it and they mix it with a bunch of stuff. So that’s what we’re doing. We’re kind of making like a coarse ground chicken thigh sausage here. Trevor, why do you think these failed? ‘Cause people don’t respect the Burger King. Do you think that the Burger King thinks it’s more important to be feared or loved? I think that he thinks it’s more important to be loved. No, he makes Chicken Cheeto Fries for power. In the political science world it’s called soft power. Look up the hearts and minds campaigns. Have you seen a photo of the Burger King? He looks so nice. The real Burger King died in 1973. He’s been replaced. It’s not true. With character actor, Joe Lo Truglio ever since. That is not true! We’ve ground up all the chicken. Now we gotta take that chicken, we gotta put it in there. So we’re kind of like, sort of trying to emulsify this sausage mixture, and then we’re gonna roll this out really, really thin. We’re going to freeze it. We’re going to cut it into little french fry shapes. Look out for the meat grinder. It’s on the floor. Meat grinder on the ground. Toss that meat in there. Wait, why don’t you, you got to meat hands. Yeah, yeah, here. I’ll man the meat. You go over there and then periodically. Please don’t straddle me and say, “I’ll man the meat.” I’m not straddling you, I’m koala bearing you. How much of this? Dump. Okay, hold on, I did get a- Dump ’til it’s flavored. Okay. Dump, dump, dump, boy. This is garlic powder, it’s okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If it was onion powder I was going to be upset. Okay, now dump the other ones. White pepper! Yeah, this is called cooking. Any reason we’re putting white pepper in there, Josh? For the people. Dump. Dump, dump, dump . You animal! Yeah, that’s what fast food tastes like. Fast food tastes like a mixture of onion, garlic, white pepper. That’s all of it. There we go, now we’re getting some flavor in our dang fries. Yeah! Do you realize, think about the flavor in your mouth right now. How much pepper is going on. Actually think about it. It’s a lot. That’s why I like ’em so much. ‘Cause you know, you get a regular nugget, and it’s pretty plain and you gotta do dip it in sauce to like get some more flavor going. But Chicken Fries, they just punch you right in the face. No, it’s just ’cause it’s eight times more breading than chicken. Yeah, ’cause it’s good. It’s nice. They’ve just tricked the younger generation into eating cheaper products and liking it. A little bit more, a little bit more. There we go. All right, perfect. These are, they’re salty as hell. Think about all the salt in your mouth. Yeah, no, I like it. I’m good, this is good. All right, dump about half that flour. We’re gonna start with half the flour. Oh, get some MSG in there. Okay. ‘Cause also think about how it just tastes like you ate a instant ramen. Yeah. Yeah, ton of MSG in these Chicken Fries, it’s delicious. These could be good. I’m excited, gonna be a good snack. Gonna be a good snack. It’s gonna be a nice snack. There we go. That’s good, that’s good, that’s good. Ice chips are gonna keep the mixture nice and cold. It’s also gonna help emulsify all this with the flour. That’s gonna help those proteins develop to give you that signature Chicken Fries snap. Oh wait, hold on. There’s meat on there. What, you gotta like, what? You gotta put it up. There we go. Fun fact, I have a character that I do sometimes. He’s a German baker and his name is Schtand Mixa. Get it? Trevor, would you like to do your German baker character, Schtand Mixa? Ooh yeah. This bread is nice. That was more Austrian. I’m working on it. I’m sorry. Yeah, what is Schtand Mixa’s favorite thing about the Burger King? He doesn’t go to the Burger King. They don’t have Burger Kings in Germany. Fun fact. Does Schtand Mixa have a weird amount of family in Argentina? Yeah, get in there. Wait, can I try? That looks fun. Yeah, do it, dude. Yeah, yeah, pump that. Oh! Drive through the hips. Isn’t that fun? And actually this is kind of working, right? This is how you do it. You’d pound the meat. You gotta pound your meat. You want to go? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ai, ai, ai. Oh, the chips are coming out. Keep doing that. This is actually really working. It’s kind of smashed in there. I cut my wrist a little bit on ice. No, you didn’t. The blood of the enemy must flow into the Cheetos Chicken Fries. That’s how Burger King maintains its monopoly. It’ll cook out. We’re gonna spread this into a real even, thin layer, and then we’re going to get this in the freezer ’cause then we need to be able to chop it into like little Lincoln Logs or fries. You know, you have a Chicken Fry there. I can kinda, I think I can hip thrust a Chicken Fry out. Yeah, no, get it, get it out. Oh, it was close! Was it close? That was close. Oh! Ha ha ha! Victory! So if you look at a Chicken Fry. Yeah okay, I got too much raw meat in my hands. Anyway, the point of this was that I was going to show you this really thin amount of meat but that kind of failed. But that was very impressive. So we’re gonna go and put the Chicken Fries in the freezer. My back is cramping from laughing. I’m going to take this sheet of chicken, and I’m just gonna hoist it. Oh, oh my, ooh! Wow. Then flap it down there. That’s unsettling but I like it. I’m squaring it off. Oh, well, let me help you. And then I’m going to cut it. Yeah, get me a reference fry. I think we got a good size. Yeah, move your finger and then there, there’s one Chicken Fry. Now move it again, put it. Maybe I can make a straighter one. That one has a little left curve. All right, so we got two. We’re trying to cut this straight. Okay, see that. So I just need to cut this into strips like this, and then we’re going to cut it down the middle, and then we got it. You don’t need me anymore. No, I always need you. Trevor, go eat Cheetos and be happy, man. I like when you’re happy. You’re doing great, Josh. Woo! Thanks, man. Give it up for Josh. He’s doing it. Please clap. Everybody, he said clap. This takes a lot of focus, and I struggle to focus! I’m sorry. Josh, you’re doing great. We literally used like $1.80 of chicken thighs, and this is going to make like 100 Chicken Fries. Yeah. They’re selling that for $3. Your generation is getting, sorry. Your generation is getting bamboozled and hoodwinked out there, friend. Okay, well, I’m not the only person that has bought a Chicken Fry. Any millennial that buys Chicken Fries is a generational traitor. Millennials eat nuggets. We eat the star shaped nuggets and we remember the tail end of the crown and lightening bolt shape nuggets at Burger King. Bring ’em back. Get rid of the fries. You always get really serious and then you gesture at the camera with the knife. The state is only defined by its monopoly on violence. I don’t know what that means. As you see, we cut all the Chicken Fries. We’re gonna pop these back in the freezer. We’re gonna get ’em solidified. I think this is good bones ’cause they look to be about the size they’re going to get a little bit more from the breading. Yep. I think it’s gonna be good. I’m excited. Let’s make some Cheeto breading. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah! Trevor’s excited. Get pumped up, get pumped up. Don’t, dude, don’t hit me for real though! Hey, Josh, you always talk about how young I am, but ask me what I remember about 1985. Trevor, Do it, it’d be hilarious. Okay, Trevor, what do you remember about 1985? Well there was Bruce Springsteen, and Madonna, way before Nirvana. Yeah. You know, there was U2 and Blondie, and music- Still on MTV. Oh, you knew? I was in 1985, too, yeah! Yeah, that’s crazy! You know what I was doing in 1985? I was bowling for soup. The band that made that song. They’re called Bowling for Soup. That’s Trevor’s joke. We’re going to make Chicken Fry sauce. This came out with the Chicken Fries. Chicken Fries came out in 2005. Then they were discontinued in 2012. And then there was so much social media pressure, people were going, “Bring back the Chicken Fries!” And so then Burger King did bring back Chicken Fries, in, I believe, 2015. And then 2016 is when the Cheetos Chicken Fries came out. Anyways, the Chicken Fry sauce, it ain’t come back. And everyone goes, “Why? Bring back the Chicken Fry sauce!” It was so good. I looked up the Chicken Fry sauce ingredients. It’s mayonnaise mixed with barbecue sauce, you dummies. Are you saying that’s not good though? No, it’s good, but like, you can just mix mayonnaise with your barbecue sauce. We’re going to add So much work. all this barbecue sauce to this here mayonnaise. I feel like I had a bit. I didn’t have a bit planned, No. Did you want to do it? Nah, I don’t think so. Do it! You put up with my bit. We’re gonna add a little splattering of this, little mustard. Just a little bit right there. And then we’re going to whisk this up. Trevor, you went to culinary school, right? I did, in fact. Blend those Cheetos. Okay. That was the whole bit. All right, so we’re going to create the breading for the Chicken Fries here. Like half the bag, maybe. No, how many in grams, Josh? How many grams of Cheetos do you want? Oh, Mr. Culinary School coming out with the grams. Give me 800 grams. That’s three pounds of Cheetos isn’t it? There’s not even- Yeah, no. There’s 240 grams in this bag. Yeah, whatever 10 bucks gets me. You gonna Zamboni those Cheetos? We wiped this down after raw chicken, right? Okay, I taste the Lysol. That’s good. Boom, Chicken Fry sauce done. Look at that color. Wow. So this is Cheeto powder, cheddar powder, onion, garlic, white pepper, MSG, all the good stuff. Pop a fair amount of that in there. Is that a fair amount? So, we’re not using pure Cheetos. We could use pure Cheetos, but Burger King didn’t. Like they seemed to just kind of go with their normal chicken breading. It was literally was like normal breading, stained orange. We’re going to add a little bit of Cheetos in there. I think we’re actually kind of perfecting what Burger King meant to do. Crank it up! We’re just going to blend that until it’s all nice and sort of eviscerated. Do you know what the term eviscerate means? Probably not, now that you’re asking me that question. Oh, like you got my colon. and small intestine. Yeah, disemboweling. So if we say like, we’re going to eviscerate the Cheetos, Technically, you’d just be saying we’re disemboweling the Cheetos. Speaking of disemboweling, Pulverized. What? What? I’m obsessed with the idea that Burger King is actually a feudal warlord. Why? Everyone has his cute view of the monarchy, all look at the Royal wedding. No, no, no. Absolute brutality coming from the kingdom. This is looking pretty good. I think we got a good, fine dusting here. It’s nice and violently orange. Trevor, this is gonna make a good Chicken Fry. I’m excited, I’m excited, I’m excited. Are you going to? Oh, okay. Trevor, are you ready to get to frying up some Chicken Fries? Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I’m tired. What? I’m Josh. And I’m Trevor. And we’re- Wicked smart. In Boston they would call that a non-sequitur. Why did we do that? We have flour, this is a little breading station. We’re going to go into deep frying these, Trevor. I’m going to add more Cheeto-infusion to all layers of this. Oh, good, good, good. So yeah, whisk that into the batter, Ah, I should’ve told you whisk the flour first. Ah, darn Ah, darn, ah darn. What I can do is use the little handle of this sifter. Ah, darn it, Charlene. Come on. You’re garbage, Trevor. You’re never going to make it out of Gloucester. Shout out to Gloucester, Massachusetts. We’re going to start breading up these here Chicken Fries. Get it in flour. Here, I’ll be wet hand and dry hand, you also be dry hand and a little bit of wet hand. Okay, okay, okay. All right, here we’re going to cover this in a little bit of batter. Yeah. Gonna shake it off. Dollop-y dab it. And get in there, Trevor, and start burying it, you got to bury it and kind of like, shape it. Yeah, you know, mash it. Mash it, more. Yeah, there it goes, there you go. Wet hand, dry hand, and a little bit of wet hand, and also another dry hand. That’s how that’s how you do deep fryin’. I think that’s good, Josh. What, yeah, it’s good. Drop it in the fryer, see what happens. Okay, okay, okay. Oh, oh! I got a little- You’re not matching hard enough. You gotta, you gotta mash it harder. It’s going! You’re treating them with too much respect. You gotta just like, you gotta kind of just like- I respect my Chicken Fries. You need to be responsible for the consequences of your actions. You just tossed something in a deep fryer that’s close to me. What do you mean? You aren’t in danger there. I was in danger. Bring it up with Charlene from HR. So how are those looking in there? Pull those out, see what they’re looking like. What do you reckon? Those are Chicken Fries. We did it! We have some Chicken Fries. We’re done. We’re done! Okay. Okay, yeah, spread a couple of these more. We got to get nine to an order. Did we do a good job, Josh? We did a really good job. I think these look like Chicken Fries, right? Give me some, give me a Chicken Fry in this hand. That’s impossible. Who’s revving a, what are they doing? What are they doing out there? Annaliese, I’m going to go out there, I’ll tell you what, I’m going to give them a piece of my mind. It’s like Mad Max out there! It’s unbelievable. Yeah, those look good. Pull those out, pull those out. Burger King surely does these faster than we do. This isn’t about that. This is about being friends and having fun. Trev, I’m gonna go wash. Okay. Wash Josh. All right Trevor, let’s see how these compare to the actual Chicken Fries. See if we got the sort of dimensions correct. Wait a darn minute. Wait a darn minute! Wait a gosh darn minute. Wait a G-D double hockey sticks minute here. These are pretty identical. I mean, you got a little bit of a thicker batter from the Cheetos, but I mean, this looks super Cheeto-y. Yeah! It’s certainly gonna taste super Cheeto-y. Yes! I think we did a dang good job on making some Cheetos Chicken Fries, Trevor. Yeah, yeah! And you know what that means? Yeah buddy! Trevor, this is the moment that everyone has been waiting for. The only reason to tune in to this show is for the moment that we are about to go to, Trevor. Are you ready for it? Yeah. I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly, Trevor. I’m ready, I’m ready. Cut to the packaging. Look at our feast. A feast? Fit for a king, Trevor. Look at our feast. We have our sauces. We have our Cheetos Chicken Fries. And a beverage. And a beverage! Is that Fruitopia back from the past? I don’t get it. Oh, there was a drink called Fruitopia that was discontinued. It was really good. Trevor, you’re ready to dig in? Yeah! They look really good. They do! They look very Cheetos-y And very Chicken Fry-y. And very Chicken Fry-y! You going sauce or no sauce? I’ll go sauce. I’ll go sauce with you, I’ll go sauce with you. They look extra cheesy. Are you getting Cheeto fingers? Yeah, a little bit. Little bit, little bit. Well, it eats like a Chicken Fry. It eats like a Chicken Fry. Hold on, I don’t even think I want the sauce. Honestly, the barbecue sauce mixed with the mayonnaise, that’s not doing it for me, chief. I’m nixing that one. That shouldn’t come out. Leave it in the past. But the Cheeto Chicken Fries, these are most excellent. Even though you’re a chicken Fry hater. The shape of the Cheeto makes it make sense to me. Hear me out. It is going to be tough to follow. It’s like a Chicken Fry, but if you added Cheeto flavor to it. We could have just taken the Cheeto dust and added it to normal Chicken Fries. That’s all we did here. But you know, I’m glad we went above and beyond because this is really good. I keep reaching for a second one. ‘Cause I’m really enjoying. The Cheeto flavor adds something extra, right? Yeah. And you’re getting all that white pepper. You’re getting a lot of the flavors you’re getting from a normal Chicken Fry, with an extra hit of Chester the Cheetah coming in like a whirling dervish into your life. Yeah, the Burger King and Chester the Cheetah really did something here. If you’re going through the Burger King drive-thru, and these are there, are you ordering them or no? Yeah! Every time I go through the Burger King drive-thru, there’s a 100% chance I’m getting Chicken Fries, so if I saw Cheeto ones, I’d be like, yeah, hit me with a Cheeto! Might as well! Yeah. Burger King, bring back the Cheetos Chicken Fries! Bring it back! You can have Trevor as your spokesperson with the slogan, “Might as well.” If you think Burger King should bring back the Cheetos Chicken Fries, tweet @burgerking under #PastFood, and tell ’em yourself! I’d like to take that king down a peg or two, we’re going to launch a little bit of insurgency against them. Wait, why? I appreciate the Burger King and all that he’s done for us. Next Royal wedding I’m going to come around and be like, okay, the monarchy’s pretty cool. Thank you so much. Trevor, thank you so much for going on this epic journey with me. Thank you for having me. Absolutely, and thank you so much for stopping by the Mythical Kitchen. We have new episodes for you every week. We got new episodes for our podcast. I had to swallow the Chicken Fry. Every Wednesday, wherever you get your podcasts. Hit us up on Instagram under #dreamsbecomefood, pictures of your mythical dishes. We’ll see you next time. We will. This one, we hid this one on the bottom. It’s all messed up looking. Nicole made this one. Get as messy as you want in your own kitchen when you have the Mythical Kitchen towel. Available now at mythical.com.