Fudgin’ heck that’s hot. Friggin’ me on my nippins. Hello, can I help you? Yeah, can I get two Whoppers with cheese, please? You want any drinks? You want any fries? I don’t think I want a beverage but I see jalapeno cheddar bites. I know we’re not gonna make ’em. We’re not gonna make it but we’ll get it. It’s on the company, it’s on the company. Can we get a side of jalapeno cheddar bites as well? Those sound delightful. That’s gonna do it. All right, crack open those Whoppers, let’s go. Okay. Fun fact, when I was a kid, there used to be 99 cent Whoppers and we would always get the 99 cent Whoppers. And I hated raw onions when I was a kid but I was afraid of my mom so I didn’t want to tell her hey, can you ask them for no onions? So what I’d do is I’d take them off my burger and I’d stuff them in the sides of the car seat. Oh no. Then about four months later, we found a much a rotten onions in there. Like how’d these rotten onions get here and I was like, that could have been anyone. There was a Burger King that they opened up with a playground around where I lived. We went all the time until my sister pooped in the ball pit, and then my mom just drove away. Let’s take a bite. I really do love the patty. Yeah, it’s the char-broil. Smoky. That’s the key, is Burger King has like a really smoky burger. I want to do something like real smoky, real barbecue-y, maybe like influenced by a culture where barbecue is really big. But otherwise this is a really simple plain burger. So we’re gonna have to get really creative on how to make this fancy using techniques and products in innovation. When you think of Josh and Emily in the kitchen, you think of a Yeti screaming. So I want to be inspired by Brazil and Argentina on this and you’ll kind of see this all come together, but this is how it’s going in my mind. We’re making the buns right now, but instead of making a normal, you know, bready bun, we’ve done brioche and a lot of croissant. We’ve got a lot of stuff like that. We’re making found pao de queijo. Pao de queijo is a delicious, people will refer to it as like Brazilian cheesy bread, but it’s actually like this kind of dumpling made from tapioca flour or in Portuguese, it’s manioc flour. Ooh. So we’re gonna use tapioca flour to create this bun. It’s gonna have a ton of cheese. The motif I want to go here, the Whopper is flame broiled to get a lot of smokiness off of that. So I want to go with a bunch of smoky cheese and I’m going to smoke some Wagyu beef tallow as the fat in there. So if you can start shredding these cheeses, we got Parmesan, we have smoked Gouda, we have a smoked cheddar here, and then this here nut sack cheese? What? That is called formaggio del colleoni in Italian. Ooh, it’s a little squishy. It’s squishy. So this is actually scamorza. It’s smoked mozzarella. It’s really, really cool. So if you just want to like turn this on, we’re going to pop some milk in there. It’s almost a cooked dough. Like you’ve made pate a choux before? Just say that, just say yes. Why do I have to say yes to stuff that you know the answer is no. Just say yes, just say yeah, ’cause then the cooking will just be. Yes Josh, of course. So the proper temperature for a pate a choux. Just say like 140 or something. Okay, 140? Yeah, yeah, exactly. So we’re going to bring that up to a boil and then I don’t even know. God. All right, so right now. The amount of work you have to do to have me on your show. I’m going to smoke this Wagyu beef tallow here with a little bit of cherry wood. I know what you’re saying. Cherry wood, legalize it. What is it? Let me smell. Literally the smell of a cherry tree. I can’t smell anything. It’s just like wood, I don’t know. You gotta light it on fire first. Okay. Can you share that cheese? Oh. Thank you. Okay, this is the part where I go, how do I use a shredder right? What do you mean? Well, listen, ’cause I’ve. It’s a cheese shredder. I know but I feel like I watched something where I went, oh, I’ve been doing it wrong. Oh yeah, those videos are BS. You just make stuff up. You’ve been doing it right. Okay, cool. All right, so we’re just gonna insert the hoses. Oh crap, I spilled all the salt again. Okay, so how does this, you just turn this, but how do you use this lighter? You’ve definitely shown me how to do this prop, like appropriately before. Whoa, that’s cool. All right, so now we’re just gonna blaze it blaze it. We’re going to smoke this here Wagyu beef tallow. There is like a light blinking. You think it’s like low on battery? Do we have any batteries? Maybe I’ll blow it. Why don’t you just suck on the end of it like a straw and then blow? And then yeah, yeah. It’s like how you siphon off a, is there anything even coming? Turn it off, turn it off. I sucked in, dude I sucked in the fat. There’s stuff in the smoke. Are you okay? Do you need water? Oh crap, how do you turn it off? It’s too much smoke. It’s gonna taste weird. It’s like a sauna. You got gotta click this like four times to turn it off. Ew! Then the fifth time makes it go on turbo. So Emily, now we’ve smoked our, whew. We’re going to add all this tapioca starch, all that manioc flour in there. Hey Emily, this is a gluten free. Yay. So it’s tapioca. Just keep imagining that the bun’s gonna be a big old, like boba bubble. Yeah, it’s gonna be a boba. We’re just making a boba burger. We’re just gonna make a boba burger? Yeah, we’re gonna make a boba burger. Ooh, that sounds, no that sounds gross. Booby boba burger, wait, I need a spoon. Never mind. There was the thing here the whole time. We got it here but then I needed to go back around this way. Smell that. Acrid. Ooh. Did you have a ribs phase when you were a kid? What the hell are you talking about? Were you were obsessed with ribs that every time your family went out to dinner, you got ribs? Oh yeah, I did. No, I guess ribs phase is the things I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes, I did too. I went to Claim Jumper and I ate a bunch of beef ribs and threw up. Did you do that? No. For the children’s menu, they would weigh the child and then charge you based on how much the child weighed. If you know anything about my childhood. Yup. We didn’t fare too well at the Claim Jumper. So we stopped going ’cause they wouldn’t stop putting me on the scale and like really upcharging me. I was like, I’m a human boy with a soul and feelings. They were like, no, you’re just meat. We know how much ribs you’re going to eat. Now we’re going to take the melted fat and what’s the other one, milk? We’re going to put that in there and then we’re going to kind of spin her up. Yeah, and then this should come together into a dough after a while, and then we’re going to, you’re going to keep doing that. You’re doing good. How much cheese we got? All right, we’re getting there. I’m not a fan of that cheese. You know what it tastes like to me? What’s that? You know that like big, thick, summer sausage thing your dad keeps in a Tupperware in the back of your fridge? Yeah, dads love summer sausage. And then when you open it, it’s like, ugh. And then it tasted like the way that smells. I used to, yeah, my dad would buy us the big ‘old summer sausage and just leave it like unwrapped in the fridge, and we’d just gnaw at it like a family. Yeah, what is that, dads? Yeah, dads with your summer sausages, get a new cured meat. Yeah. Oh, I dropped. What happened, no! Dude. Here, I forgot to add some powders. So we got baking powder. Son of a, dude. And we have, Emily, just scoop it up. No one will know, no one will know. Oh God. What, what? Oh, it looks like it’s like Scarface sneezed. You what the thing is? In pao de queijo, which, if which we can talk about Brazilian churrascaria treats. Pao de queijo, really delicious. Typically not even any leavening agent in there. I was just like, we’re trying to turn this into a big burger bun so I want to make it happen. Now it’s looking nice. All right, you keep shredding that cheese. Is that not enough cheese? No, I need more cheese. Do you need all of it to be shredded. Not all of it. Here, get some more of parm. You just kind of snap it in half. This is Parmigiano Reggiano from Italy region of Italy. There we go. Do you need more this dairy snowman? I don’t think so. Let me scrape this around. Where’s that scraper? Scraper, scraper. Here, scraper. There it is. Ah, you know what? None of the eggs got to the bottom. You know what? Let me add, just drop the cheese in there. See what happens. Wait, what? I don’t know. What is that for? Well, so this is a bun. Oh, it’s a bun? Did you miss that? Listen, man. I just try to stay in the moment. What do you mean? The bun was the moment, the bun is a whole moment. Do you understand? I think that our ADHDs are different. They’re just, they’re missing on the same. I think we both have it but in a different way. Like ships passing in the night. Listen, whatever’s happening in the moment, I’m like, yes, those are words. That’s a thing. And this is cheese. I don’t know what the heck it goes together as. Those are all true statements. Goddammit. It’s looking good now, though. Look, it’s turning into like a dough. I’m so afraid that that’s going to fling off. I never put salt in it. No! All right, Emily. What’s up? I feel like this is a great commercial for Acuvue Oasys contact lenses. I don’t know how they’re surviving my eyeballs right now. It’s just like smoke, baking soda, dust, little bit of cheese. Yeah, if I can do a little diss-advertisement for LensCrafters. Every time I bend over, these glasses fall off my face. Why come? Why come LensCrafters, huh? Are we going? Yes. What? I don’t think so. Are we rolling? Yeah, do you want to perform your spoken word poem, what is the womb but a cage? Let’s make some hamburger buns. This is a very soft dough. That’s ’cause there’s a lot of cheese and stuff. Here, start molding yours. Emily, you’ve got one. We only need one but you’re going to mess that up so bad so this is going to be the one. Do people usually mix, what did you sya? I said you’re doing great. Keep making the buns. Oh boy, golly. This is the episode where people go, Jesus, she’s still here. Do people usually put cheese in their buns? No, so this is, people don’t typically use a bunch of tapioca flour instead of wheat for their hamburger buns. But we’re not most people here, Emily. We are a really special breed. No, no we’re not. Buns sometimes have melted cheese on the top of them. Yeah, this should kind of be like that. I think we’re going to get some crackage. I don’t think you’re going to see. That’s looking good. Try to like kind of make it look nice. You know, try and just like get it to be a little nice? Yeah, that’s, here. Yeah, I’d kind of like tuck this in a little bit and try and get a bun. Do you know that means nothing to me? That try to make it a little nice. No, just make it look nice, make it nice! All right, now we’re going to egg wash it and then here, you’re going to get the sesame seeds on it. So this is going to be literally about 50% molten cheese in the middle. This is gonna be a dense cheese bun, but I think it’s gonna be really delicious for a Whopper. How much seeds you want? Keep going. More seeds, more seeds! What do you think? I crave seeds like a crow. They eat seeds. I noticed the Burger King bun has the sesame seeds. What do you think that the sesame seed, or does burger, does McDonald’s have sesame seeds too? Yeah, two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, on a sesame seed bun. That’s the one with the Big Mac. Yeah, yeah, two all beef patties. But not with anything else. Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce cheese, sesame seed bun. Why do they only do it for that one? No, it’s on the Quarter Pounder too, but it’s not on the McDouble. Why? Why not just have it the same thing? Sesame seed prices. The sesame seed market is incredibly volatile right now. That’s why I put all my money into light coin or whatever. Bitseed? Bitseed. Check out our new sesame seed based crypto. It’s an algorithm that follows the sesame seed. Jesus Christ, that’s like eight pounds of bun. We’re going to bake this. Do you like overhead lunges? No, that’s a bad idea. If you dropped that, we’d still eat it. Core stability. We would. Okay, I’m going to put this in the oven. We’re gonna bake it at 350 for like, I don’t know, until it’s brown and melty in the middle. Okay, cool. Gross. Okay, so the Whopper obviously is flame broiled. That’s honestly the one thing that I think Burger King really has going for it. That’s one of the reasons I love the Whopper, is that it’s flame broiled. So we’re going to try and not only hit this with some smoked salt, but we’re actually going to go cook this outside on a grill. Because anytime we make any meat, people are like, the only way to cook a steak is on a grill, and we’re like, we get it, man. You drive the pickup truck and your dad’s not proud of you. That’s cool. Do you know how to work a meat grinder? You’ve done it before. Yeah, I’ve done it but that doesn’t mean anything! All right, so I’m gonna start cleaving this up. This is actually a retired dairy cow. Their retirement gift was that we get to eat its flesh. Wait, can you say all of that again? Yeah, so this meat. This is a retired dairy cow? It was once making milk. Okay. But then they cut it to death. Now we’re cutting it to eat our hamburgers. I mean, I think the word retired should never be used in this scenario. Most cows that are raised for meat are killed between 12 and 22 months. So it’s a very fast process. It’s how ranchers make money. They breed cows and make ’em really fat. Between one and two years. Oh my God, you’re going to be one of those dads, aren’t you? Oh my, oh my God. 15 months. He’s three months a six and a half weeks old, and you’re like, isn’t that four months and two weeks? And you’re like, shut up, shut up Greg, shut up. There’s a trend that they’ve started doing that they’re calling vintage beef, where you’re taking like a nine-year-old dairy cow and you’re just retired, retiring them and then eating their meat. And it’s only women. Only women. Feminism. Yeah, this is, this feels very, very thoughtful, feminist. Let’s grind it up. I think it’s gonna be really good. You get a much, a much different taste. Can you take that out and then just like crank that on. I’m going to start throwing this in the grinder and you’re gonna start bashing it through. All right. There’s like a button. We know what is rev. Baby don’t hurt. I forgot about the rev. This time. No, no, you gotta like, you gotta take that out. You gotta take that out. Oh, I gotta. Jesus. We’re never going to finish this hamburger. I want you to know. I would love to know how many times I’ve done all of these things that I’ve done in this episode and I still don’t get it. Just push it. Here, you push the button. I’ll mash it through. There we go. Yeah! There’s a nice lean beef. You ever just wanna put your mouth over that? Like a Slurpee? You ever done that? Good Lord, why would you do that? I dunno. I definitely put, I donkey lipped a water fountain though, when I was kid. Oh, gross. Okay, that’s like public. It doesn’t come out fast enough. Open the bag, open the bag, open the bag. Okay, what, okay. We gotta make a burger. I just want to hang out. I gotta do stuff. The video needs a middle and an end. We need to, you ever see this TikTok trend of people just cutting fruit and gossiping? No. Oh God, we should do that. We should do that for 20 minutes. Most of mine is just people getting horny to a Taylor Swift song. Yeah, no, no, no, I feel that. It’s my favorite trend at the moment. Mine is just me getting horny to like Georgian weightlifters. They’re so cool. There’s a weird childhood like horny. Lasha Talakhadze. Oh, I thought you were talking about the Georgian weightlifter. Look how dark this burger. You ever seen a burger this dark? I don’t know! What do you mean? Have you ever seen a burger? I’m trying to look at the Rolodex of my mind, going back to childhood of every burger I’ve ever seen. Yeah, you’ve never seen one this dark. This is a dark burger. All right. Oh. Ooh, there you go. Do that in slow motion. Wow, smell that pepper, though. I know, it smells amazing. We gotta salt it but here, you salt it. My hands are covered in raw meat. Salt it? Yes. Yeah, yeah, I’ll trust you to, this is a smoked salt from Jacobsen Salt Co. I believe is Alder wood, maybe? Probably Alder wood? What the heck is that? It’s a tree! Just pour the salt on the hams. Salt my hams. I feel like now that we’ve been doing these characters and stuff. The more you talk, you’re not salting my hams! I don’t know how to a be a human anymore! Who am I? Who are you? Who are you? I don’t know! Get a horse! You’re a little plane! You’ll never measure up! You suck! Your father will never be proud of you and he owns it. Amelia Earhart, more like Amelia Nah-heart. Why am I talking into the wine like it’s a microphone? You may have a couple of questions. Yes, I am a man under 50 years old who has transition lenses. Yes, it is 100 degrees in Burbank, California. Yes, I did urinate in my jorts. Any questions, Emily? I mean, I just live for the now, like I said. Oh boy. We got some. Welcome to Burger King, home to the Whopper. We’re grilling this on Argentinian eucalyptus charcoal. Josh, it’s just right at me. Oh God, it’s getting in my eyes. Oh Christ, I’m just wet. You wet? We’re going to let this grill for a sec. Did you just ask me if I’m wet? Oh God, where’s the salt? What, it’s never a good sign. The answer is always. Yeah, yeah, sometimes you’ve got to ask. We’re just going to get some peppers on there. It’s going to flame up. Sometimes you gotta ask, kids. All right, so fudgin’ the heck, that’s hot. Friggin’ me on my nippins. Holy God dang it, great. Okay, so, we’re going to, ah, God, my eyes are burning. The pepper is coming up into my eyes. Emily, no. We got this hamburgers on a grill. Argentinian whatever charcoal. Stop, stop. We got a Malbec. This is a wine from Argentina. Stop at, stop, you said friggin’ on my nippins. Friggin’ on my nippins. Let’s drank. Ah, crap this is going to go so poorly. Why did we do this? I don’t know, ’cause the Whopper’s flame broiled! But this isn’t how they do it! In a Burger King! Well no, but they have a thing. Can you imagine? It’s so hot. This is running, just a river of sweat going into the pee puddle. Oh boy. Yeah. All right, let’s try and, God. This wine is so heavy. Far out, Jesus Christ. Oh, no, no. Now it’s gonna, ow, my eyes are burning. I just gotta loosen it. You gotta loosen it? Yeah, well some of it got under. I want to help but I. God, ow. I have to hold this wine. Charcoal’s so hot, ow. So I can’t help. If you close the thing it’ll just like make it hot on the top. Jesus Christ. That’s how salmon works. Pour some wine, oh, here’s, pour some wine on it. Pour some wine on it? Maybe not yet. No, that’s fire, alcohol and fire. Oh God. Why are you naked for this? Oh God, that didn’t work at all. It’s fine, they’ll fix it in post. Emily, now what we’re gonna do. Can I pour the wine on it now? We have some Argentinian rosemary branches. Goddammit, I mean poop. Emily, pour some wine on the branches then we’re gonna splash, smack the meat. What? Nicole tells me to do this. Yeah, kind of, it’s like a Molotov cocktail that they sell at Williams-Sonoma. Yeah, just splash with the meat. Okay. Oh, that smells amazing. Yeah here, now give me that. No, I wanna do it! Just pour it! Let me do it! Pour it on the meat, you gotta baste it! I’ve been holding it this whole time. That’s good. Whoa! You want some meat? I guess. Ow. It is so sad that we can’t swear on this show. Yeah, that would be pretty cool. I can hold this but not drink it. Taste the meat. It’s hot! Eat some meat, it’s not hot! Well, don’t put your mouth on it. I’m blowing on it. Ow, my eyes, ah! Hang on, I didn’t get it, I didn’t get, ow. I’m just covering my eyes, God dang it. Stop movin’ it. Oh wow. Yeah, that’s really good. It’s good, right? Ah God, I’m gonna do it with my eyes closed. All right, hey, look at this burger. The burger is looking so fantastic. Emily, are you ready to, now we got a couple other, oh God. I know you’re blind, but you’re holding hot utensils. Yeah, I’m gonna wave ’em. No, no. I’m gonna wave ’em. So we gotta go back and now we get to make a couple more surprises for you. Boy. I think I speak for both Emily and I when I say that I’d like to apologize to our viewers. That wasn’t us at our best. You caught us at a dark moment. What is our best? We’re making right now what’s called provoleta. It’s a delicious Argentinian dish where you take a wheel of provolone cheese, take a nice disc of it. You can either dip it in flour or you can’t, but you’re searing it on a high heat. If you’re doing provoleta asado. We put the cheese in the pan? Put the cheese in the pan and the oil should collect. Say should ’cause who knows what happens anymore? I still peed. We’re going to get that high heat pan. The zipper isn’t really doing much, is it? And then the flour is gonna absorb some of that cheese oil. It’s going to get nice and crispy and then we’re gonna top it with a chimichurri rojo. Most people know its green counterpart but this is rojo. It’s going with a little bit of smoked pimento and then some roasted red pepper and tomato. It’s gonna be so yum. Then we’re gonna light it on fire with Botanist gin, brought to you by “Binging with Babish.” I don’t know what fancy gin is so I got the one that advertises on Babish’s show, ’cause he’s got nice watches. Pretty, that looks nice. All right. That’s that’s quite a wheel. It’s a power wheel. Yeah, here. I’m going to get this going. You just make the chimichurri you think it should be made. I don’t think I know how to cook anymore. Yes you do. Take those things, put it in the blender. Okay. Yeah, well maybe I should wait on this. Pull, here, take this stem and just like. All right. And then like kind of. No. What do you mean no? That take the stem. I thought it was gonna squirt in my eye. Take the seeds out. How many things have we had in our eye? Lot of squirtin’. Just take this, take these. Ooh, that smells good. We’re gonna take, this is olive oil. It’s Les Terroirs De Marrakech. That’s French for the terrors of Marrakech. A lot of brutal murders happened in Morocco. We’re gonna take a lot of that. Emily, dump in some of this here, take a swig of that. I’m just enjoying that you’re the only one doing accents today. There you go, that’s it, that’s it. All right, then a lot of olive oil. What is this? That’s red wine vinegar. It’s the closest thing to wine we can drink on YouTube without getting demonetized. Wanna do a shot? Yeah. So we’re going to get a lot of olive oil in there and now we’re going to take some garlic. Yeah, do you feel anything yet? Oh, that burns. Oh God, this is what you did to us, YouTube! So gotta, just let it, give us our hooch. Gonna palm heel strike. Most low energy palm heel strike. I think all that sweat over the grill, that was a lot, man. I’m pretty, pretty, kvetched right now. Drop some parsley in there. My mouth tastes like a hippie mom’s floor cleaner. We’re gonna take. I know the exact hippie mom you’re talking about. She’s got delicious floor cleaner. Dump a bunch of what? Olive, what? Oh, no, is it Nicole? Is that who it is? What? Do you clean your floors with vinegar? What is this? Black pyramid salt. What is it? You give us little rocks? It’s going in. Pretty soon, the next time I come on here, I’ll be like, four quarts of bits of glass, and then. This is hand-blown glass. Hand-blown, sea glass. The actual glass from the movie, “Sweet Home Alabama.” Oh, yes. Great, I love Reese. Made by the most organic lightning. There we go. Blend it up. Ooh, that looks nice. That’s done. Let’s see where we’re at. You think those rocks broke up? God, you’re really leaning into this whole horny thing. Pretty good. I don’t know what’s going on. What do you mean, leaning into the horny thing? I mean, I think everyone knows what I’m talking about. People out there are horny. You gotta deal with it. Try it, it’s pretty good. I think it needs a little bit more salt but it’s pretty good. I mean, it’s looking like nice and loose. Hot damn. Ooh, I think it could be saltier. I think it could be salty. Where’s the normal salt? Screw the fancy stuff. I just want to make good food this time. Less rocks, more salt! I just wanna make good food this time. Poop, that’s a lot of salt, shoot. How many bleeps are we up to? We’re fine. Are we doing the same rule where it’s like whoever has the funniest words swear words can use it? Where’s the in and off, God. That was never a rule. The funniest swear word can use it. We just, we made that up so you’d try and say funny stuff, but then we’d cut it out. Listen, I like to be hopeful, but not you know, depend on the best of things. Oh, that’s good now. Oh. Oh, that’s really good. Emily, try that. All right, so now I’m going to take. Ooh, yeah. I’m just gonna heftily flour this. I’m gonna try and rub it all in there. Heftily flour. To get that nice crust. There should be enough wetness on that cheese from all the sweat coming off of my body. And then we’re just gonna get that in a nice hot thing, and it’s gonna do, it’s gonna, it’s gonna. A ghost. It’s gonna melt. Get here, ghost. We don’t want you. So now we’re going to take a little bit of that chimichurri and we’re gonna pour it on top. Oh wow, can we just eat that? No, we gotta do worse stuff to it. And here, where’s the blow torch? Let’s turn the heat down on this. I’m going to light this on fire, Emily, it it’s the last thing I do. I keep wondering when we’re gonna die. Yeah, well, what are you? Emily, open this gin for me while I play with fire. Sure, no problem. This is what I’m good for. Just pour like a nice shot of gin in there. Pour it in? Yeah, pour it in that. I don’t wanna burn. You’re fine, just pull it away fast. There we go and then like now it’s on fire. No, no, no. And then wow, look at, you’re like what is that, suck? What is that, saganaki, the a Greek dish? No, it’s burnt gin and cheese. The aristocrats! No, it’s the prestige. The prestige! There you go. That is amazing. Sadly, this is what I wanted to do. This is so pretty and wonderful. All right, Emily, we have all the pieces here. We’ve got that beautiful smoked Gouda pao de queijo here with all that Wagyu beef tallow. We have the burger that we cooked outside. This is the same burger that we took off of the grill. It’s 100% the same. You can’t prove that it’s not, this is the exact same burger. So now we’re just going to open this and then we’re going to put all. Ooh, look at that! Yeah, this looks really good. We just toasted up the outside, got some nice caramelized cheese on there. We’re getting a lot of cheese. You see that provoleta on top of the burger right there and it’s really, really delicious looking. So we’re going to take some salsa def golf. You have a restart button, right? You just got to blow into me like a Nintendo cartridge. Nope, not that, sorry. Ha, yes! Salsa del golf. It’s a big condiment. In the Dominican Republic it’s called salsa rosa. In America it’s called fancy sauce. We’re just going to take a good amount of that. God dang it. And they’re just going to schmear that on there. Now we’re going to take this beautiful burger patty just soaked in grease. Wow. That’s not, I wanted to put it this way. I really love. The thing’s spinning! It’s got a spinny! We got a little bit of a grease. We’re just gonna kinda get some of this grease on there. This show has a food stylist and I have none. All right, we got. How many tomatoes? Six! Do we need all of them? Six tomatoes. Ugh, okay. Now we’re going to take, here, these are onions. We’re just going to put some, don’t want that one. I love how when you get frustrated, your hands turn into little T-Rex hands and you just kind of go like. I don’t do that. I don’t do that. Now we going to put this, here. Beautiful onions. Give me my lettuce. Josh, I’m having a hard time. I have my own show. This is my life’s work. Oh, Josh is silly. He makes stupid food at Mythical. I never said that. I wrote for Conde Nast when I was 19! I never said that. You do not make stupid food. How do we put the lettuce on? I just think you’re a little bitch. All right, we’re gonna get some little pickles. Some little pickles. These are fancy pickles. They’re from, what store? Ralph’s. They’re great. They’re from Ralph’s? Yeah. The fanciest Ralph’s. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Ralph’s. Are they bread and butter pickles. No, cucumbers. Well, I know they’re made out of cucumbers, Josh. Boy, I’ve never seen someone give up quite like this. You’re calling this giving up? Look at that. This is what I was doing while you were yapping. I was out of your building this delicious Whopper. That’s what you brought me here to do! We’re not showing the good side of camera. For once I get to see the good side. Do you realize what it’s like for years having to build food backwards? I can’t see what it looks like. I look in there and the whole time I’m trying to be like, well, does it good? No, I get to see the good side. I get to see the good side. I think it looks amazing. That’s great. You were amazing. Thanks. You didn’t wear a shirt for part of this. I remember that vaguely. That was three years ago. What more do you people want? Emily, we’ve been through our ups and downs in the last day. But ultimately we made our, this is a really cool like burger. I’m very proud of that. Let’s see how it stands up to the original Whopper. All right. It’s not that much bigger this time. Well. Similar coloring, though. It does, even though the fact that there’s not even a single piece of wheat flour in this bun, this pao de queijo bun looks really similar to the Whopper bun. I think it tastes similar. Let’s get an app. Let’s revisit the Whopper. Okay. All right. Aw, your dyno hands are fixed. What do you mean? No! What do you mean, they’re back. Okay. Oh, it’s so juicy. No, there is not like juicy from the meat. This meat dry as a hockey puck. This is juicy from the mayo. But the top is juicy. Okay. I like it ’cause it’s like you get like a weird cheese cole slaw on top of the hockey puck. There’s something about Burger King burgers, that they taste better cold. Yeah, I agree. I agree, that’s a fact. Burger King, you should just put all your burgers in the fridge. Yeah. All right, you ready to dig into this one? Okay. Jeez. What have we done? Ugh, that’s thick. Well. Whoa. We got a similar amount of juiciness in this burger. This is cooked really well. Grab yours. Again, we made a burger that’s too big to physically eat. Classic us. We always manage to do it, don’t we? We always do. All right. Oh, look at that juice. That juice is really nice. All right, Emily, you’re ready to slop on this wop? Sorry, was I not clear? Let’s slop on this wop. Ow, my jaw just popped so loud. I’m so sorry. Wow, what up? Oh my gosh. Holy crap. It’s like kinda chewy, like I don’t know how to describe it. Oh no! Here’s a better way to do it. Chimichurri rojo is really fricking good. It’s really good olive oil. It is really good vinegar. And then that coming through on like the chewiness of this uh oh, the chewiness of this provoleta right here. It’s a new dynamic to a burger and we’re falling apart. One more go. So Josh, once you come up for air, I’d love to ask the age old question. How much this be? $219.29. Wow. Well, this completes another episode. The stuff that doesn’t cost very much, but then we make it cost more. That’s the name of the show. Emily, you do the whole outtro. Thank you very much for subscribing to “Mythical Kitchen.” If you haven’t already subscribed, what the hell are you doing? Come on, just do it. Just do it. What are you like? Ooh, I’m not a food person, you’re human. All you have to do is click a button. Don’t even watch the videos. Click a button and we get like more. You need to eat food. They make, not we, I’m not. She’s like part of it, kinda. Like she’s here sometimes. I’m here. Yeah. “Hotdog is a Sandwich.” Okay. It’s a podcast. You get it on Spotify, you get on Apple. Or both of them. You can just, you can look it up. They got merch too. We got yeah, T-shirts. They got merch. Check out this apron, this is pretty rad. That’s a good apron, buy that. Yup. I’d like to go on a vacation. Me too, you wanna go? Yeah, where you want to go? Sandals, Jamaica. All right, do you have to wear sandals? Uh uh. Why the hell am I here? It’s a nudist beach. I just really wanna do good. November 24 to November 27 it’s nude at Sandals, Jamaica. Ugh, sorry, this is going great. Don’t say that. Keep going, Josh. We’ll see you later. I don’t know, we should probably just go. We’re having a great time. Do you really want to go to Sandals, though? Yes, I want to go to Sandals. Where is Sandals? On November 24th? Why the 24th, Thanksgiving? Oh, no clothes Thanksgiving. Yeah. It seems like a terrible time to be naked in front of people. No it’s perfect ’cause there’s gravy. Yeah, ’cause there’s gravy? The Mythical Kitchen’s favorite way to obliterate garlic immortalized in T-shirt form. Get the palm heel strike tee now at mythical.com.