Big fan of using random meats. Did you give me a piece of string? Yeah, yeah. You’re supposed to eat the string. It’s edible? Yeah, sure. It’s 115 degrees in the car. We’re about to eat some steaming hot pizza pretzels from Wetzel’s. I’m pretty sure my armpit sweat is turnin’ into a waterfall and it’s running down the side of my body and I might need to go steal the shower in Rhett and Link’s side of the building. You know, every single day I work out and get fully drenched in sweat, and then I just sit in this car and rub all, like, you can- Is it on my elbow?! You can see salt deposits in my car. Is that what that is? Yeah. They’re like, faded a little bit. If you tasted that, it’d be salty. I am not licking your freaking vehicle. Not saying you should, I’m saying if you did. I mean, we got the pizza pretzels from Wetzel’s. Yeah. We got these from the mall. Is it one pretzel? Sorry. As far as- I don’t know what’s happening in here. Rude pretzel makers go, you know, look, I don’t need service with a smile with my pretzel, but gotta say, Wetzel’s today, not on their A game. We didn’t get any sauce. What’s up with that? We didn’t get any sauce?! I think we can go harder on the actual pretzelness ’cause like, pretzels are boiled and they got the brown crusties on them. This is a beautiful mall snack. Yeah. It’s like hot dog on a stick. Yeah, we can do this. You’re eatin’ it on the way from Spencer’s to Hot Topic to get your Slipknot shirt. I don’t know what a Slipknot is, but I’m gonna just agree and nod. Ahh! I don’t know what the hell- I’ll just stick my fingers into my eyes. Don’t do that, you won’t be able to see. Transition glasses. Oh, they’re not dark. That’s good. Okay, yeah. We got to do it ourselves. Have you ever made pretzels? I’ve never made a pretzel, but I’m really excited to make one today and really excited to just make it like, fancy with the whole bunch of truffles and stuff. That’s what I expect we’re gonna be eating today. Truffles’ gonna be a good route to go. Pizza and truffle, I think, is a good combination. We can obviously get some really good salamis, some really good cured meats, obviously really good cheeses, but the dough, the dough is where we gonna make our money today, V. Ugh, we can do this. We can do this! I’m really excited. I got some ideas. Okay. Let’s do it. Let’s get it. V, we gotta start making our fancy pretzel. With lamb. Yes, which explains why we have a bunch of lamb belly crisping up in a pan. Is that going in our pretzel? Ah, I was just holding this. I kind of like it. It’s kinda like a rose, like a little like, would you like to… Oh, thank you! Yeah, yeah. It’s like beauty and the beast. Yeah, I’m the beast. Yeah, I’m definitely the beauty. Yeah, no, uh huh. No, I’m a piece of crap. Normally on the show, we make like, we did a whole Jack in the Box Munchie Meal where we made like eight different things. We have one pretzel, so we really gotta get this right. So I kinda want to get weird with it and I want to make what’s called nduja. Have you had nduja before? It’s like a meat spread, right? Yeah. It’s literally like salami butter. It is, okay. The way you would typically make it is, you would cure a bunch of pork belly and then you would blend it with spices and salt and then you stuff that into an ox butthole. Oh. And then you hang that to like, wet cure in a high human environment. Okay. Yeah, yeah. And then you just let it hang there. We’re not gonna do that, so we’re gonna make our kinda janky bootleg version, albeit, a really fancy, janky bootleg version. So we’ve got lamb belly crisping up in a pan with some lamb belly. I know you like lamb. I love lamb, but I love lamb chops. This is the first time I’ve tried lamb belly. You don’t like blended lamb smoothies? Ugh, I’m going to, I feel like I’m going to ’cause- Learn to live. You know, I’m good too. You know, you already said meat back in a butthole so I already don’t know how to feel about that. Yeah, that’s one of those things about like, especially like Northern European food culture, is a lot of it was just stuffing salted meats into a butthole. Or stomach, right? Yeah, yeah. Or like a stomach, yeah. But this is specifically in an ox bung. We didn’t get that. There’s nothing fancy about buttholes. You know, I think there’s something democratic about buttholes. There could be something fancy about buttholes, you just gotta dress it up. It’s gotta be the right hole. Paint it. Yeah, everyone. It’s very vogue. Like, they had a… I love nduja on pizza. It’s kinda like a Northern Italian thing. So you know, just give those spices a toss. I’m gonna take, here. Try this wild boar salami. Oh, you’re speaking my language. Got the big old peppercorns in it. Big fan of using random meat. Did you give a piece of string? Yeah, yeah. You’re supposed to eat the string. It’s edible? Yeah, sure. Oh. All right, can you like, toss that? Do you see the peppers? Okay. Typically, this is from Southern Italy, I believe? Dude, I chopped up so much string into this. Wait! Okay, I’m gonna feed you more salami to give you energy. Yeah, keep doing this ’cause I didn’t have breakfast this morning. During long workouts, I like to keep a pocket full of salami. Really? Where do you put it? Well, I don’t have pockets, so I just kinda, just keep it down there. Oh well, you probably wear jorts when you work out, so. I actually do, I actually do wear jorts. I’ve torn a couple of nice pairs of jorts, though, ’cause these are not my nice jorts. These are my casual jorts. Okay. So we’re gonna blend this lot of butter to sort of like, get the pastiness in it. And then, I don’t know if this is gonna work. What kind of butter is this? British butter? Try it. Give me a little piece. It’s bulking season. Wait, this is dangerous. Yeah, but I’m not supposed to bulk with butter. I’m supposed to do bulk with protein. Dude, no. Butter’s protein. Give me that little piece, thing. What do you do to bulk? If you want to deadlift a lot, you take butter and you put it in your salami and you eat it. Uh huh. Ooh. I bought extra salami before I burned my pants so it slides in easier. Ehh, I don’t like it! I made good butter. What? You don’t like good butter salami? I don’t like the butter by itself. It was a little strong. Oh shoot, I should put the butter in the lamb. Here. We’ll get that belly warming. Yeah. You see, you’re over here and I need butter. I’m gonna grind up the spices. Harissa is a North African pepper based condiment. Greasy. So we have caraway, we have coriander seed, we have cumin seed to go in here. This is gonna give our a little meat paste a lot of fantastic flavor. Okay. Wow, this is supposed to be super buttery like this? Smell this. Wow. It’s good, right? That smells like- No, pull, pull, pull. We don’t wanna burn that. We don’t wanna burn that. Okay, okay. I’m ready. I dump it in there? Yeah, dump it in, dump it in, dump it in. Alright, I don’t wanna burn your face. No, no. Burn me. No, you already burn yourself enough. It’s true. For not using utensils when you cook. Alright, dumping all the spices. Get a little hot pepper in there. Okay. What about, oh, did you already put tomato paste? No, you wanna dump tomato paste in? Yes. Just a little bit. Yeah, I want this super, super red. We don’t need any additional salt going in here ’cause it’s just a salami smoothie. It’s gonna be real salty. What else do we need? Oh, we need oil. Yeah, it’s a lot, it’s a lot, it’s a lot. Where did the oil go? Eugh! We’re gonna stream it. This is the fanciest oil that you can get at the Smart & Final. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Walmart? Don’t diss Smart & Final like that! Smart & Final, it’s where you go save lots of money, shop like a pro. Come on, now. Help. Did you get it? I don’t know. I was waiting for you to get it before I helped you. ‘Cause you do that to me. Dang it! There it is. Ahhh! Yeah, yeah, so you want the food processor to struggle against it. You’re gonna come in here and you’re gonna really hold it tight ’cause again, you are just blending a lot of meat together. Yeah. I don’t think you’re supposed to do this. We should have gotten a couple of ox buttholes. We should have made it fancy by putting some gold leaf on the butthole and then we should have it stuck it in there and just let it hang in Rhett and Link’s office for a month. Oh, ho, ho. You would’ve came back and found us after that. We are so disadvantaged in the mythical kitchen because we don’t have a wet curing room for a butthole salami. Oh, that smells so good. Eat this one. This is finocchiona and finocchiona is typically my favorite salami. It’s a fennel seed which is a delight because it tastes like Mama Celeste’s pizzas. Wow, it sure does. It tastes, just the pizza, like, this is the whole flavor of pizza in one bite. Fennel Seed! Well, let’s give it a taste, see where we’re at. Okay. Oh, okay. Get your meat spread. Mmm, wow. That’s amazing. Biting into a pretzel and just getting a mouthful of that. I don’t know if it’s gonna work ’cause it might leak out of the pretzel. Yeah, but we’re gonna eat it anyway. Have you ever made pretzels before? No, this is my first time. All right, cool, cool, cool. Is it yours? No, I made pretzels once for a magazine and I had to act like I was an expert, which is a very fancy thing you can do is lie about your qualifications. Yup. And then, I made it for Will It Pretzel, but we added a bunch of like, Pepto-Bismol and stuff to it, so this is a little bit different. I never tried to make pretzels like, really good, but frick, we’re gonna do it today in the words of Trevor Evarts. You wanna cut that truffle in half? Sure. This is a white, this is a Tartufo Bianco. I like how I start saying in English and it’s like, “Nah, saying it in Italian is fancier.” It’s Tartufo Bianco D’Alba. Yeah, smell that. Whoa. White truffles are about three times the price of black truffles, especially when they’re in season or just at the beginning of truffle season, right now. And so, this is just gonna be like, whoa, real freaking heady, here. Grate like a whole lot of that, just right in the flour. Yeah! I’m gonna go ahead and add this yeast blooming to the water with barley malt syrup. Barley malt syrup is something that’s really typical of both pretzels and bagels. Dang it, how do you open a package? Truffles are very silly to me. I really enjoy truffle. It’s not something that I would spend my personal money on, per se. Oh, crap. Well, that’s okay. Oh my god! No, that’s about as much as we wanted, maybe. Yeah, whatever. All right. This is already going great. Yeah, you know what? It’s fun. I put a lot of truffle in here, you dropped the honey. This is a great day! I just got yeast and honey covered in my fingers. Oh yeah, V started this day just covered in an entire cup of coffee. Yeah, I spilled Trevor’s coffee on my pants. It looked like I peed. Yeah. Yeah, you’re gonna get a rash in there. That happens. All right, so we’re just gonna let that sit, right there. That happens! Coffee’s acidic. It’s gonna give you a rash. Okay, is that good? That looks good? Good, I do? Keep going with the truffle! Yes, chef! So I’m gonna use that but then, also, save a lot so we can grate it fresh on top. Then we’re gonna add some herbes de provence in here. God, I wish I knew the herbs that are in there. There’s like, savory, marjoram, thyme, rosemary, and this one actually has lavender buds in it. Lavender grows in Provence, but lavender is typically not part of herbes de provence, but a lot of Americans think that it is because lavender is so big in the provincial region. Ah, fun facts with Josh and V! So this is an Italian spiced honey wheat ale, which I think is actually gonna go really well with this. We don’t want too dark of a beer to obscure the truffle flavor. There’s just gonna be a little bit of that bitterness and then the spices and the honey coming through. This is gonna be the most flavorful pretzel anyone’s friggin’ had. I’m so excited. What does the beer do, actually? So beer, alcohol, is technically just sugar, right? So you’re adding a little bit more sugar in there which is gonna help the yeast rise. You wanna toss the butter in there? Yeah! So you’re adding sugar in there, but also, there is yeast in beer. It’s a little bit overstated, the leavening properties that it can have. We’re also adding some carbonation in there. Moreover though, you’re just gonna get a little bit of sweet, a little bit of bitter. I think a lot of people overthink some things in cooking. So if it’s like, what’s the beer gonna do if I add it to my chili? It’s like, it’s gonna make it taste like beer, dude. I don’t know what to tell you. I mean, why would I want my chili to taste like beer? I agree with that. And it’s like, so beer is like, quite bitter, right? And so if you add more bitter to a recipe, that means you can typically add more spice, more fat, ’cause it’s all gonna sort of balance. This pretzel dough is just gonna work for about five to seven minutes and we’re gonna cover it, pop it in the fridge to proof, and then we’re gonna start rolling out our pretzels, I guess. Wow, that’s a snake. We could only get a three foot long log of dough. Let’s roll it out, just a little bit more. So what you wanna do is, you want to take your hands on it and then roll it and gradually spread your hands apart. And then that’s gonna continue rollin’ the pretzel log. And a lot of people think that you should like, flour everything when you’re rolling it out, but here, wash your hands and try it. It’s gonna be a lot easier ’cause it’s gonna create, what’s it called, tensile… People can’t know I’m dumb! Okay, we’re good? Yeah. Try to, kinda give it… Extend it a little? We’re gonna do a little snake wiggle. Yeah, make it a jump rope. You wanna try it? No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, my idea here, let’s just go down some pretzel theory, is that we can roll out about 30% of this ’til it’s flat. Okay, and then stuff it with some goodies. Yeah, with the meat paste. Meat paste! And then roll it back up, seal it with our wet hands. And so, I suppose like, ain’t nothing to it but to do it, right now. Okay. So let’s just try it. You wanna kinda like, give me some slack, here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cut you some slack. So, and I’m like, rollin’ out. I don’t know how to just, cut slack, but we’ll make it work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m really just gonna wiggle it. Don’t wiggle, don’t wiggle it! I’m really just gonna wiggle it. Just like, hold it so it doesn’t hurt it. What are you wiggling for? I don’t know. It just seemed like the right thing to do. All right, so I’m gonna kinda like, give myself a little trough here, Okay. To get some of that meat paste in. When we were like, looking up Wetzel’s Pretzels stuff, we went down a rabbit hole just finding elite yelpers who one-starred Wetzel’s pretzels in malls ’cause I think that’s the most hilarious. If you’re an elite yelper, one, you’re probably a bad person. I’m gonna throw that one out there. Yeah, how do you even get to that status? And then to go after a mall Wetzel’s pretzels with a 16 year old making minimum wage there? Come on. Look, I don’t need a service with a smile for my pretzel, but gotta say, Wetzel’s today, not on their A game. The Wetzel family, they don’t care about the pretzels anymore. They got Blaze Pizza, they got LeBron. Just kinda, curl it up. Just plop it? Just like plop, not too much, but just plop it in and then we’re gonna try and- Excuse me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that? Yeah, a little bit more. You said a little bit! Yeah, yeah. Here, I’m gonna grab a spoon to start going at it. Yeah, yeah. Grab another spoon. I’m gonna just go. It takes a village. We’re only two people. Dude, do you ever like, drive by those towns on the side of the road when you’re like, on a road trip up to Pismo Beach to go ride quads in the dunes? And then it’ll be like, population nine. It’s like, do they need a sign? Who lives here? Do they need a sign to nine people? Yeah they do ’cause they wanna know when an extra person is there. They have to know. So now we’re gonna roll it over. And pinch? And then pinch it, but make sure you wet your hands when you pinch, because that’s what’s gonna get the dough to really stick back together. Am I doing this right? I feel like I’m pinching this like a dumpling. Yeah, yeah, you should. We’re boiling it in activated sodium bicarbonate, AKA baking soda. And so, we do have to boil. This dough has to be pretty sturdy enough to be boiled and then baked. If this breaches like a crowning porpoise being born tail first, then we’re screwed. No, we’re not. We’re gonna get this right, in Trevor’s name. It’s gonna be awesome. It’s gonna be the coolest pretzel all time. When people in the pitch meeting said, “Pretzel, that’s a dumb idea.” So stupid, but you know what? Stupid is our middle name. Stupid is as stupid does. I’ve been on a real big boat. Oh God, now I gotta roll it. I’m gonna just watch you and just be supportive from over here. You gotta do it like this and you’re gonna go around that and you go, hiyaa! And you do one of those. Is the head supposed to be that big? What? Around the body? Yeah, yeah. But it’s supposed to be, you know. That’s the body. And so, what we’re gonna do, we’re gonna do the roof proof. You familiar with the roof proof? I am not. All right, so it’s 63 degrees in this kitchen. This room used to be called the cold box before it was called the mythical kitchen set. Wait, hold on. Don’t tell me you’re gonna put this on the vehicle outside. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I’m gonna go throw this on top of Bertha, my 2017 certified pre-owned Nissan Altima. That’s her name? Yeah, hold on, can you grab that plastic wrap, plastic wrap, plastic wrap. Plastic wrap, ahhh. Plastic wrap. All right, so I’m gonna take the pretzel, gonna splap her on there. Plastic. All right, cover it in plastic wrap, then I’m gonna go run, do the roof proof. Go. Aight! And, roof roof! Go, go, go, go, go! Ohh, watch out, watch out! Watch out! Ahhh! Mwa! You know they give you the whole cup of pizza sauce? Yeah, sometimes I like to just eat it in a soup. Just rippin’ shots of Wetzel’s pizza sauce? Yeah. Hell yeah, dude. That’s metal, that’s rad, that’s rad. All right, so we’re gonna make our own pizza sauce right now, but we’re gonna do it a little lighter, a little brighter. We got a lot of big flavors in there. So I wanna go like, white wine, white anchovy, AKA boquerones, a little bit of fresh oregano in there. So right now, we got the last of the season heirloom tomatoes. Ugh, smell that. It doesn’t smell like anything, but ahh. It smells like tomatoes! These are cored, they are scored, and we’re gonna do what’s kind of called like a concusse, Okay. Which is a method of boiling, just for a couple seconds. I see you on your rhymes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Wait, did I rhyme? Yeah. I don’t even notice. I’m just kinda dumb and don’t notice when I rhyme things. All right, so a great trick to get the tomatoes out, you just put your hands in cold water and you just plunge it right into the boiling water Oh, oh. And then you pop it right in there. Can I drop one in there? Yeah, drop one in. Drop one in, drop in. Ack! Okay, so now, ack, garlic, garlic, garlic. Yeah, put two in there. Put two in there, put two in there. And then we’re just gonna cut it with little bit of white wine, which is a Sauvignon Blanc. You know, probably got it for $8 at the BevMo. I need your strong hands to get the tomatoes out. You get the tomatoes out? Yeah, I can do that. Here, peel that. Yes. Here, okay. Strong hands. So getting, ow. Don’t burn yourself, but you know. No, I got it. You just gotta get your hands in cold water. I wonder when your hands just started decided Nope, that hurt. To go, oh, I lied. He burned himself. All right, so we go, oh shoot. No, that’s cool. Well, we’re gonna turn this into a brown butter, white wine tomato sauce. We’re just gonna brown this. Just go with the flow. You forgot one. What? Ah, I gotta do it again. The last homie, man. You can’t let one just be by himself. So we’re gonna brown that butter and then we’re gonna add the garlic to it and I’m gonna toss in a couple whole anchovy filets. You ever just eat white anchovies by themselves? I’m not an anchovy fan. I got dared one time to do it when I was 13 for Fear Factor. I could’ve won $20, but I was being stupid and I didn’t do it. Ugh! Briny! At first, it’s like a little harsh. Yeah, definitely. And then afterward, it’s kind of nice. I’m not gonna lie, it’s pretty pleasant. So we’re just gonna saute this around if you got this hot. You know what? The brown butter is gonna really, I’m gonna screw it up. Wait, what’s happening over there? If your butter starts burning, pour wine in the pot, screw it. Oh, okay. I mean, the butter’s not burning. We meant to make a brown butter sauce. No, we know how to cook here. It’s fine. Ugh. All right, so we’re cutting the tomatoes in half. We got them skinned and now we’re just gonna seed them. And what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna take it and just crush it by hand, right into the sauce and we’re just gonna break that up. So you just squeezed it like you were mad at it? Yeah! And then we’re just gonna break that up with a spoon, get it reducin’, add a little bit of salt to it. Cool, they think fidget spinners are good therapy. They haven’t crushed tomatoes with their hands. I like crushing all foods with my hands. It’s like, you ever just take a taco bell burrito and you put it up to your mouth and you just crush it with your hand and all the insides squirt down your throat? Mmmm, no. That’s like a thing everybody does though, right? And then we’re gonna get a rash from all the tomato juice. Just gonna toss a couple of red, fresh oregano branches in there. Kinda perfume it up, cook this down, get it nice and reduced. You ready? Yeah! Oh God, that actually hit me in the face! We have a pretzel. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. The roof proof worked. It’s definitely puffed up and it’s gonna puff up a lot more in the oven. We’re just gonna take this mystery white powder and we’re gonna add to this water. Yeah, yeah Yeah, don’t send that through the mail. So that was baking soda that’s been baked, that’s to activate the sodium bicarbonate in it, and this is how you make pretzels. Typically, it’d be done with like, lyres on them, but you know, whatever. We just got- So how are we gonna get this in there? Eh, you got any good ideas? We use our athleticism? Use our athleticism! That’s what it is. All right, be natural athletes about it. You gotta tighten the core, Okay. Gotta get those pelvicalyceal muscles flaring. You gotta do your kegels everyday. My back already hurts. All right, so we’re just gonna lift it up, support it. One, Two, three! And pop it in. And then that’s just gonna boil for about 20 seconds, here. Wait, give me like, this. I’m gonna like, splash this so we don’t have to flip it. I’m going to splash it over. Oh shoot, dude. How are we gonna get it out? Count like, eight seconds. Eight, seven… Eight, nine… Why are you counting up?! Why are you counting up? What, are you gonna go from eight to 16?! Oh, how do we get it out? How do we get it out? How do we get it out? How do we get it out? No, we gotta strain it over the sink. I’m just gonna go to the sink and figure it out. Do you need help? No! I got it! Do you want me to waddle over here? Yeah, yeah. Waddle over here. Wow. Hey, we kinda did it. You wanna, here, spread that and do your grease around ’cause we’re just gonna bake it right on this. Can I just use my finger? Yeah, yeah. Just finger paint if you can do it. Paint me the song of your words. Killing me softly with his song, killing me softly. Is that the lyrics? So I think this is how a pretzel is supposed to be. That looks pretty accurate to me. I kinda like, bow this out a little bit. That’s good. The nduja’s held in there, like, mostly. No, I’m proud of us. It’s got a little bit of grease going around, but that’s cool. It’ll soak it up. Dude, heck yeah! Yeah! All right, so what we’re gonna do right now, we’re gonna… Lightning bolt! What are you doing? Are you trying to be a magician right now? Dude, I don’t know. You wanna just egg wash this down? We’re gonna egg wash this down. That’s gonna give it a nice, brown crest. We pop it in a 500 degree oven for about five minutes, parbake it so the cheese doesn’t get too crusty and we can get the dough cooked, and then we’re gonna put cheese and salami and more truffle on it. What about this oregano, right here? Oh yeah, we’re just gonna shake the oregano branch at it, just kind of as like a weird, like, little ritual. Oh, okay. So we’re gonna do some voodoo on it. Yeah, go a little heavier on that egg wash. Like, really just paint it on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Since this needs to be super brown. Yeah, I dunno if it’s gonna work. It’s gonna taste freaking good. It’s gonna work. We gotta be positive! The dough is dope, got really good ingredients in there. The filling is dope, I hope it doesn’t leak out. Probably, who cares. And then the stuff going on top is just really tasty. A finocchiona salami and aged asiago pressato. All right, 500 degree oven. Now we pray. Holy crap! Look at that. Look at that! So, some of the meat paste has leaked out, but I’m not worried about that ’cause now our pretzel’s just going, feeding in spicy meat fats. So now what we’re gonna do, we gotta put some salt on it that we definitely didn’t forget to put on. No, not at all. The truffle, truffle, truffle. Here, just like, grate a ton of the truffle all over that. So what I want to do, I want to get the truffle all over the pretzel and then we’re gonna top it with the cheese and the cheese fat is actually gonna really express it. Go even closer so you get it like, right on that. Right there? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Wait, let me try. Just like, Don’t mess up the dough! There we go. Well, I’m not messing up the dough! You were gonna mess up the dough! Yeah, we wanna like, really cover that in fresh truffle shavings. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so you’re gonna go there, I’m gonna trail you with this asiago pressato. How am I supposed to see? I already wear contacts to see. Deal with it, you’re an athlete! What does that have to do with seeing? What, athletes don’t need to see? Jean-Claude Van Damme in Bloodsport, Chong Li threw the powder in his eyes. He couldn’t see him, he’s still knocked out on the kumite! What the- Yeah, watch a horror film for once. Your logic is so questionable, sometimes. What do you mean? That’s why I practice doing the splits everyday, so I can be like Jean-Claude Van Damme. I’ve never seen you do the splits. Yeah, I do them in the bathroom. Are you doing them in Jorts? I do it while I do my meetings in the bathroom. You gotta put two squatty potties on the sides and then there’s, ahhhh! That’s the noise that Jean-Claude van Damme makes all the time, check it out. So I’m gettin’ pretty close. It’s like, meh, meh! Let me get some cheese drops, here. Start shingling on. This is more finocchiona salami. They’re not doing any tricks with the wild boar or the duck. This is just a good ass salami. I didn’t like, believe in this. I did! For a while, oh, that’s great. Good for you, V. Good for you. You had me at truffles. I almost drooled. You did drool a little bit. And I caught it in my hand. Wow, wow, wow. Here, I’m gonna shake the oregano branch at it and then you’re gonna rain some fresh oregano in there. Oh, are you sure that’s oregano? Wow, that looks pretty beautiful to me. They’re not normally purple. Dude! Look at us, the Picasso of the pretzels. Dude! Let’s go! This is gonna be awesome! This is gonna be awesome! Weltzel pretzel, where you at?! I’m really proud of what we did. No, this is like a masterpiece. This is a freaking masterpiece. And while it’s still warm, I’m just gonna grate the rest of this fresh truffle over the top. We got the fresh truffle. You can’t take it with you when you die. When I die, bury or cremate me with truffle. Actually, you know, cremate me so the air could smell just like- Oh God, the thought of your dead body perfuming the Burbank air ’cause I’m assuming you’re gonna get cremated in Burbank. So yeah, we got the whole truffle on there, now. Let’s compare it to the original Wetzel’s pizza pretzel. We got it in here. This is… This is, is this a pretzel? This is a bum pretzel. Like, I love Wetzel’s at the mall, you know. They like, kind of smushed it within the middle. That’s something we didn’t do. Like, it’s pressed down. Yeah, they mashed at it. This is dark. All right. Now it’s a U. Well, That’s how I feel right now? It’s a crusty old mall pretzel, baby. You’re walking around, you’re going to PacSun, you’re eating that pretzel. I used to work at PacSun. It was like my second job ever. You look like you work at PacSun with that hair. Bro. I’m gonna chew this for the next like, 30 seconds. I was thinking of this, we’re just gonna start ripping, right? Yeah. So, the nduja’s in this hemisphere. So that’s where we need to get our first pieces. I am shocked that nduja held in there. I’m just gonna take this big old log. I’m just not shocked at anything we do anymore. Dude, it’s stuffed with the meat paste. We got it! I’m gonna go first bite, no sauce. Okay, no sauce. Cheers. Oh, ho, ho, ho! Whoa. Dude, what a flavor bomb, though. Wait, I want, give me silence while the truffles wash over me. Mmmm. Give me some whale moan. Give me some calming whale moan noises while the truffles wash over. Yeah, it’s more like, I’m glad we forgot to put the salt on ’cause this is a delicious salt bomb as it should be. Yeah! All the salami kinda like, made the salt instead of us just putting it on. And you know like, it was already pretty salty, so. Oh my, dude. It did that for us. The sauce! The sauce? This is a masterpiece. One of the best things that we did today is that friggin’ sauce, I’m about to find out. Which is sweet, it’s got umami in it. I want to get, I mean, some of the part without, just to try that fresh truffle dough. We got a great texture on the pretzel, though. I mean like, look at that! It’s a man choice. Fish for breakfast is good. Bodybuilders do it. Josh, we made this extravagant piece of art. How much did it cost? Well, you can’t put a price tag on art, but we did. 569 dollars and 12 cents. Most of that is going to that white truffle, Yeah. Not gonna BS ya’. But I mean, there was a lot of other fancy ingredients going on, here. V, this is a spectacular event. I’m floored by what we were able to accomplish. Cheers, thank you for all this. Thank you so much for stopping by the mythical kitchen. We got, I forgot what I was gonna announce here. We have a new episode out every week, right here. Wherever you’re at. Wherever your podcast’s at, every Wednesday. On hot dog is a sandwich. Hit us up on Instagram @MythicalKitchen and this is your mythical kitchen! 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