Hey, welcome to “Mythical Kitchen” where dreams become food. There are many problems in America. You got income disparity, you got lack of access to healthcare, you got double rimed basketball hoops at public courts. Those suck, and you got lack of nugget choice. Every single nugget that you get out there is made of chicken and nobody has asked the question is this really the best meat to make a nugget from? Nobody until today, because we will be trying out ten different animal fleshes that have been ground up into their component parts and nugget-ified to see what is really the best one. We are doing groundbreaking science here. I can’t fix the other problems. I can maybe go pry a rim off of a basketball hoop or two, but we are solving the problem of nugget hegemony in this country today. One crispy fried bit of, I don’t know, like, ostrich tenderloin at a time. We’ve broken the recipe down. I don’t know if we have, we’re making nuggets. You can see the nuggets there. We’re just kind of frying up a bunch of animal parts. And then we got a full written description of, I don’t know, just how my day is going underneath. You can go click down and read my diary. Let’s get cooking. Are you rushing or are you dragging? I don’t know. Are you rushing or are you dragging? I don’t know. Are you rushing or are you dragging? Dragging! So you do know. That was “Back That Ass Up” by Juvenile as played on the meat drums by me. Thank you very much. Thank you. No stop. You flooded this room with energy today. As you can see, we have 10 dead animals that have been ground up and put in a bowl. And now we’re gonna turn them into nuggets. What do we got? We’re starting off with chicken. We’re making a classic chicken nugget and then lamb. Who would’ve thought lamb nuggets, the Greeks? Maybe, they do love lamb. And then we got gator. I have a suspicion that gator could actually be a really great nugget. We’re doing buffalo nuggets. We’re doing ostrich nuggets. An ostrich once made a sexually threatening gesture at me. If you remember that episode. Y’all remember that? That was wild, that ostrich thought I was moving in on his chicks, man. I wasn’t, I swear. Or was I? And then we got salmon. I didn’t try and bang an ostrich to be clear. It would’ve… It was like a platonic… And then we got beef. We’re gonna make a beef nugget. I ain’t never seen no beef nuggets before. We got pork, we’re gonna make pork nuggets. We got.. What’s this? Oh elk, dude we got elk meat! Forgot about that, that’s exciting. And then Turkey nuggets. And, now we just got to start nuggetify ’em. So we’ve weighed out exactly eight ounces of each of our nuggets here. And then we have our nugget spice blend which is salt, MSG, white pepper, onion powder, garlic, that’s it. And then we’re gonna add this to all that, ’cause we wanna make like a universal nugget experience for all of these. We just kind of start doing some of that to get it in there, almost, ’cause we’re trying to be like as scientific as possible about this. I don’t know man. Dumpy, dumpy, and dumpy. And, we’re gonna weigh each nugget out. Try and shape it perfectly. ‘Cause I wanna do this as a blind taste test. I don’t wanna know what animal I’m eating. I wanna go into this completely without any preconceived notions of what sort of nugget. I mean.. There’s a lot of soy based nuggets out there. They’re making nuggets out of plants. They’re taking animals jobs away from them. You know what I mean? That’s the thing that really works me up about this. Those animals deserve jobs to be nuggets. Vegans, please. It’s a joke. Don’t start coming at me in the comments. I watched a lot of women’s tennis. Guess which women’s tennis player I imitating in what year. Sharapova. Actually, yeah, no, it actually was. I was thinking of Sharapova ’06. That was good. That was good. She had a really distinctive yell. Nuggets are mashed. Spices are dispensed evenly. I don’t know what that yellow guy’s doing there. And then we start weighing out each nugget. Oh God. Why didn’t we think this through better? Give me a couple minutes. Daddy needs to rest. Put Papa in his chair. Where’s Papa’s chair? Let me see your face. You still in school? Oh you’re 37 now? Okay. All right, I’m gonna start making some nuggets. We’re gonna go exactly .9 ounces on each of these. Start with our chicken, and I gotta touch the scale with raw meat. Guys, sanitize this scale. Hold on, no, now we’re gonna organize it. We got the chicken there. We’re doing gator. We got … We just need to create a mnemonic device, like pemdas. Chicken, gator, buffalo, elks. I’m gonna throw up. I ate some raw meat. Let’s start back in a second. Good news, we got our simple, impossible to forget, mnemonic device to remember what meats we got. That’s right. GOBBLES P C T, right? Who hasn’t heard of GOBBLES P C T. That’s right, you got gator, ostrich, beef, bison, lamb, elk, salmon, pork cow and terries. Gator, ostrich, beef, bison, wait, okay. Gator, ostrich, beef, bison, lamb, elk, salmon, pork, chicken, turkey, GOBBLES P C T. This isn’t in that order though. This is like, this is So far, who cares man. I’m just making them. We got our GOBBLES P C T nuggets. That’s right, GOBBLES P C T German, orangutans, buck, big, letters every Sunday. I actually forgot what the meats are. We’re gonna start with a salmon nugget. I’m really interested in this one because I think McDonald’s had the Fish McBites that everyone loved. Do you guys remember the commercial? Fish Fish McBites McBites. It was that, but for 30 seconds and everybody loved them except for nobody whoever bought them. But I’m excited for these. So let’s start dropping them. We’re just gonna drop and fry ’em. We’re doing a very standard coating here. Again, we got equal amounts of spice and meat in all of these. They’ve been sitting to sort of let that meat cure a little bit and taste all nice and processed and nuggety. Now they’re just going simple breadcrumb, flour, egg wash. And we’re gonna season with salt right outta the fryer. And then we’re gonna taste ’em blindfolded ’cause I actually don’t know what the results are gonna be. I have some guesses, like I think gator nuggets, man, they’re gonna bring like the best of the fish world with the best of the mammal world. ‘Cause that’s how gators were actually invented was just like a capybara had sex with a sturgeon and out came a gator. I failed biology. Bombs away. Now we just gotta repeat that process and keep everything labeled about 10 times, and nothing about me has ever shown that I lacked the organizational capacity to keep things organized. Bonus content. We’re making sauces. You thought you were just here to see nuggets. Nope, you’re so dumb. We also are making a sauce. Hey, you know who else loves sauces and nuggets? It’s the people at Sporked, go check out Sporked to see their chicken nugget rankings. If you don’t wanna make nuggets from 10 different animals you can just go buy chicken nuggets. If you’re satisfied with the status quo, you can do that. Find out what the best ones are at Sporked. So, we’re making a couple sauces. These are sauces that I would typically make at home to dip nuggets. In fact, I know this is something I would just make on the fly ’cause I didn’t plan on doing any of this. And I just grabbed a bunch of crap outta the fridge. Now we’re gonna make it. We’re making a garlic scallion, fish sauce, ranch. That’s gonna be a fun time. Gonna take a little bit of garlic. Take like a clove, maybe a half clove. What happened to that chain mail glove we used to have? I think I slapped someone with it at the Albertson’s and then challenged them to an honor dual. And then we’re gonna drop a little bit of scallion in here making your own ranch is fun at home, ’cause it doesn’t really matter what you put in it, you can just kinda like dump random herbs and chopped alliums in there. And we got some mayonnaise. There we go. That’s nice. This is how you get it out. And yes, there are two different mayonnaises in this mayonnaise jar. ‘Cause we had like half of one and we squeezed the tube into there. Use whatever mayonnaise you got. I’m adding some Greek yogurt in there. Typically you might use sour cream or butter milk for that. But, hey, I had this in the fridge, and again, we’re going home style Now, oh, a lot of black pepper, ranch loves black pepper. Lot of it. And then fish sauce. Get yourself a bottle of Vietnamese fish sauce for crying out loud. If you don’t have one in your pantry already, it’s just a really great way to like wake foods up. You know you get that beautiful little Umami punch. And then just a little bit of cider vinegar for acid, like that. I’ve never heard a cider vinegar bottle just, like, burp itself after opening. It’s been heating in the Burbank sun for a while. And now give it a stir, see where we’re at. Yeah, just slap it around. There we go. All right, now we’re making lemon pepper honey mustard. Yeah, a whole lot of honey in there. Whole lot of spicy brown mustard. Pretty freaking yellow for a brown mustard if you ask me, but the hell I am to judge? Yeah, more black pepper. That seems right. Seems right. Lemon, we’re gonna zest some of that in there. Who is he, Rachel Ray? Ha. I wish, she’s made a fortune. I mean she has made so much money selling dog food that it’s incred… We make food that’s appropriate for dogs to eat. Why can’t we start a dog food company? Gonna add some lemon zest and just a little bit mayonnaise. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore man. Did that enrich your life? Leave a comment below if it did. If it didn’t, just don’t say anything. Just keep it to yourself. Keep it to yourself if you didn’t like that. All right, ratios are all messed up. All right, they’re done. All right, we got all our nuggets in front of us ready to taste test. But first we got very special guest to come out and taste ’em along with me. The newest Mythical Kitcheneer, Lily Cousins. Woo Lily. Now Lily, you’re coming to us from a restaurant, correct? Now Lily. Hi. In seven words or less can you tell the Mythical Beasts a little bit about yourself? Um, so I grew up in Maine. Uh. Uh. Uh. I grew up in Maine, uh, uh. And that’s it. No, Lily, we are very excited to have you. This is your first time on camera to the Mythical Beasts. Can you tell them like a little snapshot of the interview process? What was the weirdest thing you were asked? Probably who my mortal enemy was and what they would say about me. And I did not know how to answer that. And yet still, you got the job. We’re gonna be ranking each nugget on a scale of 1 to 10 with decimals. It’s not the same as a 1 to 100 scale. It’s 1 to 10 with decimals. All right, and then we’re gonna calculate what our favorite nugget is and see if we can upend the chicken nugget hegemony in this industry. First nugget Josh, you ready? Are we going? Uh huh. Okay. Tastes like sausage It’s a little sticky. I’m enjoying what’s happening in my mouth. And that’s a good thing. If I had to guess, I’d say that’s pork, and I give it a 7.8. Wow. I think a 6.7 for me. I feel like it could be beef. I don’t know. It’s disorienting with a blindfold honestly. It is, it is really disorienting. No one strike me. Number two. Do you want… What sauce? Let know when you want your dip, okay? Honey mustard. I’m gonna go plain still. Honey mussy is what we kids call it. Wait, no, flip it around. Gimme a plain bite. I’m going in. Oh God. That’s beefy. Do you want the honey mustard bite? Give me the honey mustard. Let me know if you- You just sucked it off. You’re a menace, I hate you. I like that, the meat is very mild on it. Lended well to nuggets. I’m giving it a 7.8. I’m giving it 5. Turkey, 7.8 Beef, 5. I keep saying beef Beef, five, you’re trying to awaken a Russian sleeper agent. I know. Beef, five. I’m just gonna guess beef for all of them. Nugget three. Plain bite? Plain bite. Plane bite. I don’t like this one. Right, second. No. Do you want other bite? Nope, I don’t want another bite. Nope, okay. Just eat it. You almost got my fingy. I have no idea what’s going on in my mouth. I need like a palate cleanser. I need a drink your sauces. Okay, I believe this to be salmon. And I’m saying 5.1. I think it’s elk, 4. Those are the opposite animals. One of us is stupid. It’s probably me. Plain bite? Yeah. Okay, I’m putting it right here. Is that right? Oh no. Oh no. That’s the salmon. They all taste the same to me. Honey mustard. No, that’s the salmon. That’s the salmon. That is very much the salmon. I need water. Yeah, that’s the salmon. You want some water? It’s a little fishy. I give it a 3.1. Salmon, 2. I’m not too happy about that one. You ready for the next one? Yeah. All right, coming in. Can I.. You want some water? Wait, wait wait. Oh, okay. They’re like a Jimmy Dean Breakfast Sausage. You gotta get a bigger bite. Wait, you just took skin. Why is it so chewy? Do I need a spit bucket? I need spit bucket. I’m saying gator, 2.6. Okay, gimme two seconds. Give me two seconds. Wait, Lily, are you okay? Oh, where are you? Are you okay? Where are you? Spit bucket. Oh, why did we get a clear bowl? Ah, I ate so many nuggets. Wait, get that outta here. Wait, Lily, what happened? Gator, 2.5 Gator, 2.1 Plain bite coming in. Okay. Ah. Nope. Honey mustard. Let me know if you need a spit bowl. That’s elk. Spongy, buffalo. Ah, 4.2 Elk 3.3 Coming in. This is the next one y’all That’s elk, that’s elk, that’s elk. You gotta bite it, you gotta bite it. Ah, ah, ah, some fell outta my mouth. Ah, elk, 3 point… Oh my God. No elk, 1.7. Do you need your spit bowl? You don’t even want sauce it, that one? I can do it, I can do it Yeah no sauce, still, give me some barbecue sauce though. You can do it. Buffalo, 4.1. Wait, do you eat a new one? No, did you? No, no. We have three more. No, three more. Ready? Yeah. All right, clean bite coming in. You got it, you got it, you got it. Okay, this is it. Oh, it’s tough. I don’t mind this one. I think I believe this to be beef. I’m saying 6.1. I’m gonna say turkey, 9.7. Ah. You ready? Yep. Coming in. It’s in front of you. There you go. Oh. I like this one, it tastes like a sausage. You wouldn’t know. You’re happy. Give me some honey mustard. You look like you’re gonna kiss me. I like this one. Gimme some honey mussy. It’s coming. You’re just eating sauce at this point. I’m just vibing. I’m just, I’m doing me right now. I’m not vibing. No vibes. I’m saying that’s pork and I’m saying that’s an 8.7. I think it’s pork too. I’m gonna give it a 9. How many more have we got? Last one I need to swallow it. It’s the last one. Last one Josh. Can we get 10 more meats and do this again? No. All right. Stop spitting on me . This is the last one? Next time it’s gonna be wings. So much meats. Mm Yeah, you gotta… Josh already bit his. Okay. Wait, uh, ranch. Oh, he bit it? Yeah It’s the last one. Oh No? I don’t like it, but no, give it, I don’t like it. There’s a goo. Is that chicken? It jumped out of my mouth Yeah, it’s on the plate. I think it might just be chicken though. I think it is chicken too. It’s got the least offensive palette on it. Chicken, 6.1 Chicken, the 10 Are we done? 10. Yeah, that’s it. That was so disorienting. Is that chicken? That was really disoriented. That was gator. That was gator? The last one was gator? Dude, I was gonna guess gator. And then you threw me off. Oh my God. Do we have the results tallied up? Yeah. First of all, Lily how do you feel emotionally after that? I don’t know, I feel a little traumatized. She’s like, “Can I go?”. A little traumatized. Eh, you’re gonna use that phrase a lot. Okay, so the one that you liked the least with a total of 4.6, which you both thought the was the gator was Elk. That was elk. Oh Gators are the elks of the sea. I don’t think gators live in the sea. I don’t think so either. You shut the hell up, I swear to god They live in swamps. And the one you liked the most with a score of 17.7, and you both thought was pork, was Ostrich. Wow. Ostrich nugget. Wait, that’s huge. Oh my God. Hold on. We have a connection to an ostrich farmer. He’s the one who’s ostrich made a sexually threatening gesture at me. If you wanna invest in a little bit of a project all you need to do is make a check out for $10,000 to Josh Scherer Industries, we’ll have a shell corporation set up by then. We’re gonna funnel that through an ostrich farm, change the entire nugget game. Did we guess any of ’em right? Uh… You guessed salmon right. Salmon. I hated that. Everything else you guessed wrong. Well, we learned that we’re frauds, we know absolutely nothing about cooking. I know nothing. But you already knew that if you’ve been subbed to this channel for a while. Lily, thank you so much for…. This is a hell of an introduction to Mythical Kitchen. Yes, definitely. Can’t wait for 12 more years of this. At least that’s what your terms are, you signed a 12 year contract. Trevor, V, thank you so much for feeding us. I’m sorry I almost kissed you. No, it’s okay. It happens, you know. And thank you so much for stopping by Mythical Kitchen. We got new episodes for you every week. We got new episodes of our podcast A Hot Dog is a Sandwich every Wednesday, wherever you get your podcast. Hit us up on Instagram and TikTok @mythicalkitchen with pictures of your mythical dishes under #dreamsbecomefood. We’ll see y’all next time. I wanna try the gator. I don’t wanna eat a nugget for a while. You’re too hot to handle, and so is your bake ware. Get a Mythical Kitchen oven mitt available now at mythical.com.