Are nachos a salad? There’s a universal theory that says all foods are either soups or salads, depending on the percentage of wetness contained therein. But I don’t subscribe to dichotomous thinking. So, let’s dive in. Of course, everyone knows nachos were invented by Chef Ignacio, aka Nacho Anaya at the Old Victory Club in Piedras Negras in 1943. And there’s no real debate about their constitution. We got crispy tortilla chips and cheese. You got nachos. But the term salad’s a bit more nebulous. It’s etymology simply lies in the Latin word sal, meaning salt. And you see the same root in the word salsa and salami. Salsa’s a salted sauce. Salami’s salted meat. And salad is salted vegetables. However, in the modern context, we’ve seen the term salad transposed to horrifyingly vague territory from the jello salads of the 1950s to the popcorn salads of Midwest Church cookbooks, to the tuna salads behind subway counters everywhere. But given the mere fact that tuna salad exist, you must either agree that nachos, small bits of well-sauced and seasoned food often containing vegetables are a salad or write a letter to your local subway franchisee saying, “You are a liar, sir. Admit it. You have lied to the public for too long and I will no longer stand for it.” I don’t know. Maybe.