Foods we are leaving for Santa on Christmas Eve. I’m leaving Santa cookies and milk. I’m bringing carrots for the reindeer. I’m bringing Santa liquor ’cause he’s gonna need it after this. I’m leaving Mayo for my boy, Santa. I, I got a blender of raw eggs so Santa can get gains. I’m leaving Santa holy water and a rosary to help in his ever waging war against the forces of darkness. Good luck, Santa. I’ve covered my hand in honey and birdseed in order to capture one of the creatures that power Santa’s sleigh. No, it is not reindeer. It’s a genetically engineered hawk. I will capture it and sell it to the government for military technologies. I will die a rich man in Belize.