Today, I’m making lunch for my eight-year-old, Jonah. I finally got my check from the Seattle Class Action suit. So after paying my fine for disorderly conduct at the Waffle House, I got Jonah this A5 Wagyo. I don’t know, it’s a steak. We need to show all the kids at school that Jonah’s dad is rich now. So I got those little fish eggs that Tom Hanks eats in that one movie. Man, I love me some Tom Hanks. When Sandra left, she wrote down a list of Jonah’s allergies and it said shellfish, but the only one who is selfish here is Sandra. No, Jonah has an EpiPen, he’ll be all right. So we could flex on the haters, I got Jonah the most expensive dessert I could find at the Whole Foods. It doesn’t look like any beans I’ve ever seen, but I also found out the wedding nipple ring Sandra bought me wasn’t real gold. So I’m adding the real gold I bought to his lunch. Now, Jonah normally only drinks VOSS water and Diet Mountain Dew Code Red. But he’s only getting the best now. Sandra, baby, I still got 350 bucks left. If you come back, we can go to the Cheesecake Factory like you always wanted to. Baby, it’s the one that Justin Bieber.