Hey guys, I’m Post Malone and my last meal would be mozzarella sticks and garlic knots with a side of marinara sauce, and Raising Cane’s chicken tenders, stuffed crust pizza and chicken parm. Filet mignon with teriyaki sauce and spicy ramen with a glass of my Maison No 9 wine. Then frosted flake cereal and chocolate chip cookies for desert. Every person has exactly two things in common: we all got to eat and we’re all gonna die. Today’s guest is a multi-platinum recording artist, amateur ghost hunter, and former wedding DJ whose newest album “Austin” drops on July 28th, Post Malone welcome to the show, man. Ah, thanks for having me! I didn’t mean to like denigrate you by saying you’re an amateur ghost hunter. No, that’s okay. I don’t get paid for it. Your last meal, is that something you’ve thought about before? I think I have thought about it before and I’ve had many a heated debate. And I don’t know if anyone’s ever posed this question, but a guy I work with named Lewis, he said, why don’t you just make your last meal essentially, oh, if you were in prison. Why wouldn’t you make your last meal a never ending buffet? I like that you’re trying to actively cheat death within a pure hypothetical that’s just meant for people- Of course. To be BS’ing with each other. It’s like if you, you know, got a genie, you just wish for more wishes. But surely there’s something in the genie contract that prevents that. I haven’t seen it. I haven’t had my lawyers look at it yet, so we have to take a look and see what’s going on. He’s got people. How often do you think about death in general? You think about a lot, especially now I’m a dad and I’m like, okay, I gotta take care of myself so I don’t kick the bucket or anything. And you know, I think a lot of songwriting and stuff that I do has to do with thinking about mortality and why are we here and all this stuff. So I spent a lot of time thinking about it with a guitar and a whiskey in the woods. Well I’m incredibly excited to get down to it, you ready to eat? I’m ready. I’m absolutely ready. I’m ready to get these good grubbins’. All right, Posty, for the first course we have the homemade garlic knots. This is from Trevor, our very own baker extraordinaire. Let’s go Trevor. Long fermented dough, wrapped up, brushed down with a ton of fresh garlic parsley butter. We got the mozzarella sticks. These are hand breaded in house, a little bit of fresh mozzarella cut into logs, fried, fresh marinara for dipping. And then of course we got the Raising Cane’s chicken tender meal complete with the Cane sauce, the Texas toast, the fries. God dang man, the smell in here is incredible. It’s absolutely amazing, and I don’t know how to even react because I never had this kind of feast before. Dig in man. Sure. I’m taking your cue. Or I’ll just start chowing down myself. Go, go, go. What, okay, tell me about the chicken tenders. Because that is like the first time I ever met you. You were on set here like five years ago and I remember you had like 50 chicken tenders and like 50 things of ranch for like all you and your crew and y’all were just like eating chicken. Like on me? No, like it was like in like the rider, right? Which some rock stars will have like, not to like pigeonhole you as a rockstar. You’re also a wedding DJ and ghost hunter. But no, some people will have like a crazy rider, right? And yours is just like, I want a bunch of chicken tenders. Yeah you hear horror stories about like, you know, I only want the green Skittles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want chicken nuggets man. Or any form of this absolutely sensual. Oh, I’m sorry man. Oh, they’re so stretchy. Let me get some- You gotta get it while it’s hot. Yeah, I know. Let me get some of these. I don’t know, I’m a simple man. I eat like I’m four, and I wanna live like I’m four. I think everybody does. I think that’s the goal. So maybe this is me internalizing or you know, just trying to hang onto my youth a little bit. Do you think that that’s a bad thing at all? Because like you’ve obviously like made your life somewhat complicated, right? Like becoming, you know, such a big star and having like so many people that sort of depend on you and that, you know, that theme ends up in a lot of your music. Do you wish that you could just go back to that time? I think everybody’s trying to get back and relive that youth ’cause like four year olds don’t have to pay taxes. That’s true. Which is pretty badass. Yeah four year olds are the original sovereign citizens- I’m not paying ’em, I’m four years old, look at me. But I don’t know, you know, I’d say it’s made it harder. That’s a maniac move. I just went for it dude. I think you’re not, you just got put on a FBI watch list. Come for me, come for me. You know, this is totally random. Chick-fil-A makes, you can’t buy it from the store but if you order it like so you make it yourself, they make a chicken parm sandwich. But like, they got marinara sauce sitting in a Chick-fil-A? That sounds like a conspiracy. Now you’re definitely on a FBI watch list. That sounds like a conspiracy. Be careful what we talk about here. Posty speaking of conspiracies. No, something I wanna ask you about because you were like known the world over as like the nicest guy and that certainly jives with everything that I’ve ever seen with you. Like the fact that you shook every single crew member’s hand in here and introduce yourself by name, you see that and you just think that this person has a very optimistic view of the human condition. You know what I mean? Somebody would take the time out for like a complete stranger. To do that you must have some sort of intrinsic feeling that people are good. I’ve said you also live in what has been described as an apocalypse proof bunker. Not a bunker, but you- Sure. It’s a bunker, you know? Do you think people are ultimately good or bad? That’s a really interesting question. I think people are inherently good. I think maybe it’s the circumstance or the world around that makes decisions, in the wrong way, easier to make. Sure, interesting. But everybody I’ve met for the most part is so beautiful and I think people off rip deserve kindness and friendship and you know, I know what it’s like to meet an asshole and I’m like, you know what? I don’t even know this guy but that wrecked my whole day. I’m gonna think about that all day. And I think it’s just important to be kind to people when you can, you know, unless they’re aliens who want to adopt you. I told you we were gonna- No, we’re gonna pivot to aliens at some point. Okay, okay. In the general theories of total global collapse, right? There’s a couple possibilities. Yes sir. One could be a general nuclear war, right? My dad lived through the what are the Cuban Missile Crisis? Cold War. Yeah. My dad lived through the Cold War of the Cuban Missile Crisis. That was like a real present threat. There’s that, you know, we see things around the world. There’s impending civil war. That’s something that could happen. People start turning on each other, you know, get pitted against each other via media and politics. And then there’s something completely external factor here. Aliens. If you had to put your money where your mouth is, which one of those three is the most likely scenario? Well, there’s four. What’s the fourth? Catastrophe. Natural catastrophe. Oh, natural disaster. Is it actually gonna be a natural catastrophe or is it gonna be caused by like. Well it could be a asteroid or Yellowstone blowing up or- Is Yellowstone gonna blow up? What do you know that I don’t dude? Yeah, you didn’t know that? No I didn’t know that. I don’t know when. No one really knows when. Well if you had to guess like, I don’t know you’re the only person that’s introduced that idea to me, so now I just want to know. I don’t know what you know. It’s a massive volcano. What? We all knew this? What if it’s all four at the same time? It could be. We’re all fighting each other. Aliens are trying to abduct people to stop people from fighting, and then the asteroid hits. I mean it’d be a quick way to go out. And then at that point, wouldn’t you feel stupid buying like a, you know, 3 million dollar home that’s apocalypse proof? I feel like the asteroid’s gonna blow right through that. Depends on how big it is. Did you asteroid proof it dude, is that what you’re telling me? No, no, no, no. I don’t know if they sell that technology. But I don’t know. Especially for some events. I have one year old. So especially that’s kind of super put it in perspective and it’s, you know, it’s wild times that we live in. We’re all so divided and there’s so much going on in the entire world. So we got food for like 30 years. We got, it’s not as good as this by any chance. If you need a chef for when- That would be absolutely, what tools do you need? I feel like you have some bougie tools. Bro no, nothing, no. Gimme a hot plate and like an old tin can lid and just keep me safe man. I need a paper clip and like a communion wafer. Yeah exactly, oh I can make you a six course meal outta that. I can make you a six course meal. Oh you wanted rice pilaf? Okay, easy. How has having a kid changed your perspective on like what it means to live a good life? It’s definitely made me take better care of myself. I want to be around to see her go and do kick ass stuff. And before, you know, I was really drinking a lot and smoking a lot and stuff. I kind of took everything and toned it down a little bit and you know, doing my best and really got my weight going. Saying you look like a yogi. Like you look like you could be teaching like a punk rock yoga class at the Equinox Fitness right now. Do they have that? Not yet. But I feel like if you put your name- You just see Henry Rollins up there doing a yoga class. That would be amazing. Downward dog! That would be so sick. Serj Tankian. I literally, okay, this is a stupid aside but like hear me out. I literally saw Serj Tankian right outside the Equinox at the Erewhon in Studio City once and I almost just went, Hey man, love your stuff. And I didn’t do it. Because he gets the conspiracies too. What’s your like number one conspiracy of choice? Like what’s the one that you like truly, truly believe in your heart of hearts that’s true. That Chick-fil-A has marinara sauce. You heard it here folks, that is the TMZ headline right there. It’s there. Don’t let them say no. Don’t let them tell you that they don’t have it. Local news man arrested at Chick-fil-A demanding to quote- Show me the marinara sauce! I know you have it! Sir, we don’t have it, my pleasure. No! No! Show me the vault right now! Okay, my pleasure. Alright, Posty you after eating a bunch of mozzarella sticks and marinara, we’re onto course number two, which is a stuffed crust cheese pizza. Again everything homemade, some fresh mozzarella right there on the crust. And then the chicken parmesan, not from Chick-fil-A, pounded out chicken breast, salted overnight. My secret recipe, only egg white dredge so it’s extra crispy. Marinara sauce, moz. And then of course we got the crusher pepper and parm. Do you want me to just like do a little sprinkle sprinkle? Sure. A little sprinkle, I’m not as artistic as you- Just at your discretion. Just tell me when. So this is like the Olive Garden. You don’t have to ever stop me man. I can handle my stuff. Well what, we’re gonna run out- I can handle my stuff. That’s perfect. Okay. That’s really beautiful. I see it’s a little heavy on that side. I love cheese. I see that you love cheese. It’s in a lot of the courses. You never see like how much you love something until someone asks you what you like and you’re like there’s a theme here. Yeah, yeah, no a hundred percent. Well that’s why I think it’s like such a fun little exercise ’cause it’s like, I’m sorry do you want me to keep going? No, that’s fine. I trust you. Your last meal I think it like teaches you about what’s actually important in your life and you have found out that you know you want to eat like you’re four years old ’cause being four years old rule, you didn’t have to pay any taxes. That’s true. Government wasn’t breathing down your neck when you were four years old- You believe in aliens. You know, the aliens they don’t target the four year olds. They’re useless in the mines. You know, the mining silica, you know to get the 5G to, you know, overtake your brain. What I’m saying is dig in man, please. Thank you very much, where should I start? Am I doing the hard work first? ‘Cause usually my mommy cuts this up for me? You want me to, come on, no I’m your mommy today Posty, I’m your mommy today. No I insist. That’s joke. Everyone on YouTube, all the FBI agents are gonna be like, he can’t even cut his own chicken parm. They’re gonna think your soft, you’re never gonna be a target dude. That’s great. Exactly, genius. Yeah, please. I don’t know how to work that. I don’t know how to work that knife. Do you have any like special connection to the stuffed crust? Or that’s just growing up on pizza. What is this pizza commercial? Hot damn! That’s a commercial. We actually, we did the food stylist trick where you put glue on it so like- Perfect. Yeah, yeah. Okay so now since this pizza is so fresh and so hot I’m going to eat it like I used to eat the pizzas at Pizza Hut whenever there were sit down Pizza Huts. You remember those? That was the time, that was when we were a proper country. There’s nothing like going to the Pizza Hut. Sitting down, and you get the plastic, the red plastic cup with those like Tiffany style stained glass like chandeliers. You guys know what I’m talking about? Taylor’s about to tear up. You know what I’m talking about! And that was a beauty of America. And now there’s one in Tooele. Is that it? That’s the only one I know of. In your song, “Paranoid” off “Beer, Bongs and Bentley’s” the opening line is talking about someone coming and trying to take your life. You know, you also had your home broken into and you have a tattoo on your finger. One of my favorite musicians of all time, Dimebag Darrell of Pantera famously shot on stage in Texas by a fan. Do you actually think you’re paranoid? Or does a paranoid person ever know they’re paranoid? To you is this just like reasonable concern for safety? I lean on the side of thinking a little harder than maybe a lot of people do or want to about like shit, stuff that doesn’t really matter. Do you think it sort of helps you like cope with reality if you’re sort of making up these fantasies that are worse than things actually exist? When something bad happens, you’re like, does that make sense right? Oh, the chickey parm- Oh you’re talking about the chicken parm. I thought you’re talking about my psycho-analysis of you. There’s chickey parm I can’t think about anything. Dude this chicken parm is one of my favorite things in the world. It’s so banging, I’m so sorry. No, I was asking if you kind of like make up scenarios that don’t exist that are worse than reality, right? Of like FBI agents constantly waiting for you when in actuality we know the FBI does keep tabs on random people, including artists. You can see all that stuff, you know, going back to you know, civil rights era and before. But do you think you sort of make up these outlandish ideas to make the current reality seem less bad than it is? Does that make sense? I don’t know if I do it to make it seem less bad, but those ideas are always going in my head and it is a constant form of anxiety. It’s always like a pit in your stomach. Like for some reason, I hate helicopters so much. Interesting. I hate ’em so much. Not like flying in ’em, but if I hear a helicopter I’m like what the hell’s going on? Kinda think it’s like someone- Coming after me and I don’t know why I do that. But then my dad was like, oh it’s the ones you can’t hear that you gotta worry about. And I said all right, that makes a lot of sense. So that kind of took a little bit of the edge off but. Yeah but like what quiets you and what calms you down? I play a lot of games and I spend a lot of time in my garage. And that’s like my special zones. Like throw my phone away and just sit and do what I want to do and then there’s no like outside interference or anything. I can go in my garage and work on metal stuff and go into my game zone and just played Diabolo Four ’cause I haven’t touched grass in like two weeks. Bro what character class? Started with a necromancer but I hear they’re pretty stank. If you wanted to take like hypothetically like a level 21 rogue under your wing, you know? Oh of course. I’m just, you know, I’m not great but like I’m plucky. Depends on what his name is. You know her name is Shamaya. Beautiful name. After Otep Shamaya, the band Otep. Beautiful name, and yes, you are more than welcome on my journey. This is a legal binding contract. All right Post, for course number three. This is like the main course of it all. We got the filet mignon, cooked medium rare to medium with a lovely homemade teriyaki sauce. And then we know you love spicy ramen, the kind of instant stuff. So we decided to get a little mythical with it and we actually made our own ramen noodles from scratch, dehydrated them, if you’ll open the packet, we have invented Posty powder. Ooh. And now this does look like it carries illicit drugs, but in fact it is actually just delightful seasoning that we have made that you’ll open and then pour over the, how do you open it, dude? You gotta use your teeth? You’ve done this before? No, I’m trying. There we go, there we go, okay. Pour the packet over the ramen. If you wanna stock like three to 4,000 of these at home. I would honestly love that, oh my god. There’s like 15 ingredients there. That smells busting. And I am busting just smelling that. What does busting mean? Ah drippy and somewhat busting, it’s kind of just like amazing. Okay great, no it is amazing. Swaggy. Swaggy. Amazing. Yeah, yeah. But it doesn’t have any other, like any other literal meaning. When’s the last time you said trill? Oh my, I forgot trill existed. That’s a port manteau of true and real technically, right? Is that, is that Bun B? Yeah, this is Bun B. But port manteau? Port manteau, it’s where you combine two words. Ah. You know what I mean? I should have used my context clue. Are we putting this in? Yeah yeah you gotta put in. So this is all the soy and the oil. Soil. Port manteau! A port manteau, if you will! My guy, my guy. Bonjour. And Lily will come in and do the ceremonial pouring of the water that we do for all of our guests. It’s like a fruit leather. Yeah, yeah. How, now- It was not necessarily supposed to be a fruit leather, but Lily you dehydrated the soy? The soy, yeah. His is gonna be done before mine. Posty man, we just wanted to impress you, you know? We know you’ve like watched GGM for a minute- This is nice, this is very- Something Mythical for him. I mean, shit, I mean dang. Have you adapted like the Mormon way of speaking yet? Living in Utah? I was staying at a place called Morgan and we would go there and ride ATVs and do all this. Thank you so much. You’re welcome. We would go there and ride ATVs and stuff and, thank you so much. You’re welcome. And some mom was like, hey we really like your music. We don’t like the cuss words that much but here’s a list of words you can use instead. And it was like four page double-sided- She gave you a document? List of words. Yeah, it was full of things like fuey, fiddlesticks. What can you rhyme with fiddlesticks though? Is that the name of the next album? The man’s a genius folks, give it up for Post. You just saw genius in action. That’s why I make the big bucks. Speaking of big bucks Post Malone. Sir. Can I pour you up some of your Maison No 9 wine? I would absolutely love that. The finest rose in all of the Mythical Kitchen currently. Tell me about the wine man, how’d this happen? Mark Wahlberg shown me the nuance and the intricacies of a good red. Ah. Right? So let me just pretend like I know what I’m doing here. Dude, same. Gonna do some of these. He didn’t smell it long enough. Fake. Gotta get it right underneath the light. Right next to the microphone. Yes, it looks busting. Yeah, busting indeed. Yes, very trill. Well 2021 was a busting year for roses of course. I might say good. Good soil climate. Cheers. Cheers. I mean that’s nice, that’s a little different there. You gotta trill it. Dig in man the steak’s getting cold, the steak’s getting cold. I’m dead serious, this is amazing. That’s a hell of a steak. I like a good steak. It’s just- Yup, you don’t need a big- I like a good steak too, man. I like a good steak, what can I say? No, this is amazing. This is for whenever I put on like a collared shirt. Mhmm. Like this. You’re looking really nice too. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Talk to me about your new album man. Talk to me about Austin. It’s self-titled, is there like a metaphor behind that? Like this is more of you, you’re putting more of yourself on display, a different side of you? I don’t know. It’s cool because there’s no features on the record. Very cool. And it was written by like me, Billy, Andrew, and Lou, the whole thing in Henson. and we made a bunch of it in like a week and then went and finished it up and I think it’s a pretty awesome piece of music and I’m super excited for people to listen to it. But no, no really no story. I just couldn’t think of a name and there’s no features so I was like, you know what, it’s me. Is there any like thematic shifts? ‘Cause like you dropped one single off of it Chemical, which is kinda like a really beautiful love song. Sure. To me, and something I think everybody sort of experienced, you know, that sort of inability to let go, feeling that intense like chemical bond with somebody. Yes sir. You know what I mean? Does that signify a new change your life? ‘Cause I mean White Iverson, right? Which is I think the first song that most people heard of yours. You were like what, 19 when you wrote that? Yes sir. You know? When I was 19 nobody was watching me. I got to be a dumbass in private, you know what I mean? You didn’t get to- I gotta be a dumbass in public. You had to be a dumbass like in real public, you know what I mean? But for real, and now like seeing you mature, how has your music followed that? I have so much more fun writing ’cause I never used to write with a guitar. And these last two records I started writing with a guitar. And so I would, I figured out a cool technique that I really like is just putting the guitar up to the mic, putting my headphones on, turning the reverb like insane and just coming up with melodies and chords that way. And I really been trying to push the chords of a pop song or push the chords of you know, beat loop or you know, anything, and like go somewhere weird and weird time changes. And there’s a song on the album in like free timing where there’s no metronome and different time signatures. I guess I’ve just had a lot of fun being like wacky. Does that give you like hope for the future? ‘Cause you had this quote where you sort of were hinting at one day walking away from music, which of course one day all of us will walk away from everything. But you said something, I mean it sounded like something out of a JD Salinger novel where you were like, I just want to play games and play in the tall grass. You know it’s kinda this beautiful, like idyllic lifestyle but there’s also this idea that, you know, could you actually walk away from making music? Do you think you could ever actually leave that? Or is it always gonna be a huge part of you? Well I think it’s always gonna be, I’m always gonna write stuff, you know, whether it gets released is a whole different thing. But I think at a certain point I’ll just get old and I’ll make songs and then at that point no one will be listening to me. So I can make, like I always talk about acid polka. I’m working on an acid polka album. Did you say asset polka? Acid. Acid polka. Yeah, it’s like kinda like polka but it’s very like- Yeah I’m big into- Industrial- Underground polka scene so I get it. Well I could tell ’cause I saw you at the last event. Yeah, I didn’t, we didn’t say anything ’cause we didn’t want to be like, hey I know we’re the most of the two, you know, most famous people in this room right now. Except Salma Hayek was there too. So like, you know, she was kind of off- She’s super into it, she’s like a little too into it. That’s what I’m saying. It’s like Salma, you gotta chill on acid polka, we’re all just here to have a good time. She’s fighting people, bro. I mean I like, it’s fine. I’m so proud of myself. All this marinara sauce and hazard floating around, I haven’t gotten one piece on my shirt. But this is all about, my streak is about to end. You gotta slurp the ramen- On the ramen. Slurp on it. Oh you know what I might do? No, oh this man. I was just gonna, I thought you were just gonna. Oh you were gonna do that? Well no I thought- You stole my whole idea. I thought were gonna take your shirt off. I’m trying to make you feel comfortable, I’m mirroring. We could do that. We’re doing it. Are you doing it? We’re doing it. We’re doing shirtless ramen. I’m outta shape, I haven’t worked out in two weeks. That’s a great idea for a podcast. I feel- Shirtless ramen. We’re in. I’m gonna lean back. I’m gonna kind of balance it on my chest. So you put it on your chest? Yeah, this is how I eat almost all my meals. I kind of just keep it balanced here ’cause then you can slurp it. It’s like a TV tray. Imagine you just had one tuft of white chest hair. Talia, we’re putting your craftsmanship on display here. It’s just guys being dudes. This is a podcast and a half. That’s hot and that’s good. It’s kind of, I get a little cinnamon smell in here. You’re tasting Chinese five spice and cinnamon is one part of the Chinese five spice. I can, I’m a level four ramen sommelier. Hey, you got it! What do you think happens when you die? Ha, great question, I think it’s this! Yeah? Like is this hell or is this heaven? What did Brett Michael say from, little bit of heaven, little bit of hell? That’s you? I don’t know, I don’t exactly know. I think probably the great FBI agents in the sky come and scoop you. But . But like, hear me out. I really don’t know. I like to think that it’s sleep. It’s just a long sleep, and you like sleep. I really, really do. So you’re just, you’re gonna be fine. Is that sad? No dude, no, no, okay. So the whole reason we came up with the show is ’cause I had a crazy bout of death anxiety once. I was laying in bed and I just couldn’t stop thinking about the idea of eternal nothingness. And it freaked me out so much that I just started crying. There may have been some substances involved. We don’t need to talk about those per se. But, point is I started- Ramen? Thinking about that. Yeah, ramen. And so since then I’ve been like, well it’s better to just face the question, right? You know, it’s like the stoic concept of memento mori. Like you got like 10 dead rock rockstar tattooed on you. I haven’t counted but you know, you got a fair amount. I mean from Dime Bag to Elvis- You haven’t seen my ass. To Kurt Cobain. But like it’s like you have these constant reminders of death on you and I’m wondering why it is, you know? Yeah, I don’t know. That’s actually really interesting and I did talk about about it a lot in my music and it’s very, I don’t know, it’s something that you think about a lot. Especially, I don’t know, as a kid I wasn’t necessarily super happy. Like nothing that anybody else around me did or anything. Like it wasn’t, I wasn’t like super sad because oh you know, no love or anything. I had so much love in my life, but I don’t know, it was just something in me that made me sad every day. And I was sad and sad and sad and I was like, oh shit, this gotta, you know, get better. Sure. And it did. And now I’m like the happiest I’ve ever been. And the weird part is I think about it just the same amount. Yeah, of course. About dying. And I’m like, ’cause now it’s not just me. It’s baby mama, it’s my baby. Yeah for you it’s like, it’s not your life that’s as important but it’s the people around you and also because they’ve given you that as well. Like you had this story about you know, your baby mama. How when you were struggling with alcoholism, you know she didn’t give you an ultimatum, it wasn’t like get yourself right or else. But she showed you what to me was like true and genuine love. Sure. It seems like you’re showing that right back. Yeah. I mean it’s very important. And now like I used to get destroyed every day for no reason. And now I’m just like, oh I want to have a drink ’cause I’m having a good time. And I’m not sad and I’m super happy and I don’t know, it’s very, I have so much love in my life now. I had so much love in my life when I was a kid and I have so much now. And I guess it’s my job and maybe I do a little over, I don’t know any dad that doesn’t do too much. You know, or doesn’t do their best. So I guess I’m taking, I guess the night vision doesn’t have to do anything about my baby. I think that’s for me. You know but I can get, I can get stuff for me too, you know? You’re an adult, you deserve a little night vision. You know? But the rail gun that you’re building on the top of the compound? That’s just for you. How’d you know about that? FBI told me. I hate those guys. All right Posty. We have arrived at the final destination right here. We got fresh bake chocolate chip cookies, a la Trevor, he actually stole this from a former employee. We’re not naming who so they’re extra special. And then a bowl of Frosted Flakes with extra sugar. Can I pour you up? Oh, thank you sir. Of course, of course. Oh that’s, man. Cereal’s a dessert. I do have cereals as a dessert. Every time I have cereal as a dessert. Milk it up. Thank you sir. But now can I ask you a question? Please. Why do you make me milk first? Well I wanna see how you milk it. ‘Cause I like to sort of mirror what our guests do to sort of make them feel more comfortable but also maybe satisfy my own voyeuristic sociopathic tendencies. Well let me show the internets how it’s done. Hmm. Love it. That’s it, that’s all you need. That’s nice. So you’re like a a pretty scant on the milk. Yes. You’re a bit of a milk prude, you’re very chaste. I’m crunch, I prioritize crunch. I prioritize soggy. I let my cereal sit for like 10 minutes and what I do is I make sure- You’re definitely on the list, every time! I sprinkle, I sprinkle the milk over the top to make sure it’s all wet. And then we like flood all the way at the top. Lest we forget the sugar-y. I gotta ask, Frosted Flakes, historically a very sweet cereal. It’s not that bad. I don’t know, no, I mean you know again this is gonna come off judgy, but that’s I love- Only God can judge me. Fair enough, speaking of God. I’m so good at segues. This is a lot of sugar, this looks bad. Hit me up, I gotta enjoy it, please. Sugar me down, daddy. Well you’re gonna have to let that sit for like 10 minutes before you like it. I like to end up like a cold porridge at the end. You know? Just be one amalgamated thing. The fact that you believe in ghosts to me signals that you believe in an afterlife, right? You can’t have ghosts without an afterlife? Well I don’t know what ghosts are. I don’t know if they’re dead people or like interdimensional beings or humans from the future. If you had to like make a bet right now on what ghosts are. The best part, is I have no idea. That’s what’s so interesting. You like sitting in the mystery of it. I don’t know what it is and I think that’s part of the fun of it. But there’s definitely times where you talk to something or, and they speak like your language. I don’t know because I’ve been in places in Europe where they speak a different language and it comes in English. So I don’t know what it is. I think it’s a really interesting thing. And even I’m convinced that I moved a pillow once just by looking at it. What was the context? Half serious. What was the context? I was sitting down on my couch watching TV and I look at a pillow and as soon as I look at it, it falls over. Okay hear me out. And I’m not saying that that didn’t happen. I believe that happened. I’m like a skeptic, right? I don’t believe in anything which is really boring. I believe everything is scientific- What about Nartu Fody? What? Nartu Fody. What’s that? What’s he talking about? Why do y’all know? What are all, everybody operating camera? Mickey and Taylor just gasped. Oh, he knows you. Who is it? Can you tell us what your name is please? Nartu? Nartu. He’s an alien. Fody. Fody. Nartu Fody. Nartu Fody. But no, like I believe I’m super boring in that way. I think there’s a scientific explanation for everything that hasn’t been explained, right? Like the the Dybbuk box. It’s one of the most haunted objects in the world. But also the person who made it, he came out and was like, no I just, I wrote a creative story to try and sell it on eBay. You know what I mean? So to me there’s always a rational explanation for something. But then I’m missing out on magic in the world because you get to have fun ghost hunting adventures, ’cause you believe in something. How do I become like you? ‘Cause you seem like you have more fun. I do have a lot of fun. You seem like you have a lot. First off, don’t let your cereal get so smushy. That’s the first step. I like it real soggy. I have a hard time with a lot of like skeptics. Like I’ll be like, okay, let’s go check it out. Let’s go to Skinwalker Ranch, let’s go crazy. Are you saying the real ghosts are the friends we made along the way? Why is he laughing? Yes. And I’d like to consider you. Is this, are we- A ghost. Are we doing the, oh we’re cheersing. I thought we were gonna feed each other. I didn’t know that. We could do that too. Wait, wait. Wait, are we not crossing? Isn’t that the thing? You’re correct, I messed that up. What you saying? Hang on a minute. I don’t know man, I’m so full. I think the cheese is blocking a blood vessel in my brain. You ready to get in the lightning round? Hell yeah. Let’s do it man. Don’t need that anymore. No we don’t need that. You want a souvenir? Sure. Cool. Have you signed it? Other than me, who’s the one person dead or alive you’d wanna share your actual last meal with? Jesus. What you asking him, or her? What happens? That’s fair, honestly. I mean, so I can get ready. Am I gonna cry or am I gonna be like, this is sick? Which one of the Mutant Ninja Turtles would you choose to share your last meal with? Raphael, ’cause he’s cool but rude. Hell yeah. And I want to hear a little bit of what he’s got to say about the whole deal. Share it with a little bad boy. You wanna find out like what happens after you die from Raphael, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Imagine he’s like pretty nihilist about the whole deal. He’s like, I don’t really care. Okay, okay, okay. If there’s a gun to your head and if you don’t hit every note perfectly, you die. What’s the Guitar Hero song you’re playing? Oh man, The Priestess song, Lay Down, by The Priestess. Not hitting Through The Fire and Flames? I hundred percent that song every time I play it. Hell yeah. What’s the song they’re playing at your funeral? Little drummer boy. The Biebs remix or the? No the traditional. I don’t know man. That’s my favorite Christmas song, Little Drummer Boy, rum pa pum. We can’t do any more. Wait, he did it? Yeah, no I didn’t make this up, right? This exists and I think is like Busta or Coolio in it? Wait, no way Busta Rhymes or Coolio. It’s one of them. We’ll play it after, we’ll play it after. It’s a great song. Okay, I don’t know. But actually it’d probably be Fleet Fox’s something. What’s your biggest fear? That’s a really good question. Thanks man, I wrote it. Marinara on my shirt. So embarrassing. Oh my God, that happens at a party. I don’t know, I really don’t know. I guess not being able to be there for my baby. That’s kinda like my deal. And she don’t need me by any shot. She has like the most amazing mom in the world, but it scares me at least. Finally, are you happy? Yes sir. That’s a quick answer. We love a quick answer. Very much so. All right Posty. One, thank you so much for coming on. You wanna deliver your last words to that camera right there. I had a hell of a time. All that for this. Hell yeah, man, that’s beautiful. Poggers. Poggers champions. Pog champ. Don’t be weird champ, and keep being amazing and spreading love. There it is. And then like- And now sub. As well. Yeah. As well too. All right, make sure to check out Maison No 9. Wine is absolutely delicious. Greatest wine I’ve ever had. I bought a whole case myself and so should you. Two cases. I bought two cases myself and so should you. I didn’t know if you’re going to three. And check out Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem out in theaters on August 2nd. Posty, thank you so much. Thank you. He’s got a new album, Austin coming out on July 28th, also kicking off a tour in July. Big old North American tour. Is this baby going international? Yes sir. This is an American tour. Hell yeah. We’re super excited and I hope you guys will please, please listen to the record. The reptiles will kill me if you don’t. I love you guys and thank you for listening and come and see me. I appreciate you for coming on man. Thank you so much. Thanks baba. Rizz up your next fire meal with the Mythical Kitchen utensil set. Available now at mythical.com.