Now, are you considered a heart-throb? Today my new friend Benny Blanco and I are making the fanciest Olive Garden spaghetti and meatballs with breadsticks. Does a music producer have what it takes to cook in the Mythical Kitchen? It’s really like sexual. Does Benny’s pasta friendship bracelet also function as a backstage pass? I really don’t like the dentist. Just shut up. I know, I’m scared. Does Benny have a crush on me? You’re such a big man. Mamma mia, this is the spiciest episode yet. Would I like to sleep in bed with you? Yes. We’re coming home here, hop in the Nissan. I don’t know what all of this is. That’s why it’s in the trunk. That’s where the trunk goes. What? You’re gonna touch, oh, these are knee wraps. What’s this thing? I got, I got tendinitis in my knee. What? Is this a bucket of paint? No, it’s a bucket of chalk. What’s this? This is like Muscle Milk? It says no nut butter. Yeah. What’s in here? What, do you want more nut butter? So, this is the spaghetti and meatballs from the Olive Garden. Ooh, it’s hot. This is how they make all their money. 7-Eleven makes money selling cigarettes. Olive Garden makes money selling spaghetti and meatballs. I’ve never, I’ve never had Olive Garden. It’s, what have you heard about it? Isn’t this breadsticks? Isn’t there like never ending breadsticks? Yeah, well, they won’t just come to your Nissan parked in a parking lot. And they won’t just give you never ending, there’s not just a guy baking them. Here, grab a breadstick, grab a breadstick. So is this like, this is what it’s all about, right? Yeah. Cheers, man. No, no, let it wash over you. Benny, don’t you dare spit it out. Don’t you dare spit that out, Benny. This is terrible. I have a soft spot for Olive Garden, because it was the fanciest restaurant I’ve been to until I was like 18 years old. We like went to our pre prom dinner there, you know. Okay. Oh my God, it tastes so bad. I have to like, taste one more bite just to make sure it’s that bad. Olive Garden refuses to salt their pasta water because they think it’ll corrode the pans faster. The crazy thing is like, half the noodle is, is like, it just turns to like, like sand the second it goes in the mouth and then the other half of the noodle is hard as a rock. This thing is, it’s actually cool, it’s like almost cool how like crazy. It’s, half of its al dente and half of it is actually poop. Well, let’s talk about the sauce real quick because the sauce is a deep magenta, if not purple, and I don’t know how so much brown entered the equation, because most tomato sauces are, you’d say red? I think my favorite part is licking the outside of the bread. The good news is, I got an idea on how to make this better. Oh my God, it’s like, I can’t, it’s like, this is crazy. It’s like coming up. You need my help? I need your help. Okay, here’s the help. We take the, do you have matches? Yeah, yeah, we got a bunch of them. Do you have gasoline? Oh, so many. Okay, we need to light this thing on fire, and then use it as the flame to cook our own pasta. I’m in baby, let’s use this car as tinder. Get this party started. What are you talking about? I love this car. What? All right, we gotta start making some marinara. Okay. So, do you want to do that? You want to be my sauce man or you want to be my pasta massager? Pasta massager. I’d like to make the sauce and I’d like to, you kind of, no, you just like, I look at, I like start blushing. Stop it, man. Stop. You have like a. I don’t mean to stand. Are you like always like this? Well, yeah, this is pretty flat right now, man. It’s pretty flat right now, actually. Oh, my God. You know, I need a lot of pasta, if you know what I mean. I don’t know what you mean. I have no idea. How do you look like this? I’m, you know, obsessively in the gym like two, three hours a day. Two three hours a day? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think it’s like a. Where does that vein come from? Does everyone have those? I’m always dehydrated, actually, is what it is, I think. – Okay, get out of here, I can’t. – Okay, okay, okay, alright. So, olive oil, in the pot. This is, this is cute Take a little, take a little. We’ll slap the bag. Wait, I have Covid. All right, I’m gonna start this up. Oh, that’s really, that’s like really intense and fruity. It’s got that young harvest. It’s super spicy, actually, which is nuts. That’s great. I’m gonna add a little garlic. And by a little, I mean a ton. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wanna know what’s, you wanna know what’s my little secret? I don’t tell people this a lot, but I love to put anchovies inside, what? Why are you laughing at me? I’m laughing because you went full, like, Sandra Lee Food Network. Like, this is our little secret. Don’t tell anybody. It’s butter. My brother always asks why, like, the marinara tastes so good. Or, like, when I do, I’ll make it, I’ll do it when I, when I make, like, broccoli. Or when I make spinach. And it’s just because you’re dissolving that extra little bit of umami. Oh my God. Salted anchovies have literally like made the world go round on flavor for thousands of years. And nobody even knows. Nobody knows. And in other cultures, it’s like fish sauce. And it’s always, there’s always a little fishy umami. I want the little fishies swimming around. Okay. I’m adding some pepper flakes. I’m doing things. I got things just happening. I’m hoping this is salt. I don’t even know. Definitely salt. Definitely salt. I’m gonna start making some pasta. So, in homage to Olive Garden’s Tuscan roots, they actually have a test kitchen in Tuscany, Italy that they say they send their chefs to, but it turns out it’s like it’s just like a building and it’s like three weeks and they don’t send everybody there and it’s a whole thing. But, we’re gonna make pici. You ever have pici pasta? Of course. We’re gonna make some pici, hand rolled, fresh. It’s almost like an Italian udon. It’s one of my favorite things in the world. You got a little faucet? Got a what? Okay, yeah, I’ll be right back. Because I like to get every last little drop out. All right, so I’m actually blooming some saffron. We’re doing a saffron pici here. We want to kind of up the fanciness on this, but not do anything that would actually take away from the dish. So, we got saffron, that nice like kind of warmth from it. And we’re gonna add it, add the olive oil directly to the water. You’re like adding saffron. I’m literally taking water and putting it back and forth so I don’t lose. Save the four cents. We need it. All right, I’m gonna start getting this pasta dough going. There’s no eggs in pici pasta typically. And then. Wow, look at the color on that. Yeah, this is gonna be gorgeous. It’s gonna get super golden, especially once we start kneading it and get all that saffron. You like saffron? It’s polarizing. I love saffron. Who doesn’t? You know what? I love rose, like rose water. Yeah. Have you ever been to that place? Mashti Malone’s or Saffron and Rose? Mashti Malone’s So good with the little vermicelli noodles in it and stuff. Faloodeh? Faloodeh. You and I man, we got similar tastes. Why has it taking us this long to hang out, man? You’re such a big man. What is this thing? What are these? They’re called latissimus dorsi. Latissimus dorsi. Latissi-me. Do you, no be honest though, like would you? Would I like to sleep in bed with you? Yes. We’re coming home here, hop in the Nissan. Yes, yes, yes. We’ll be on it. I gotta get away from you. You’re just aghasted, man, to everybody except for Olive. No, I don’t do it to anyone. You’re, you’re, look at the way you’re kneading. You’re like, are you, now are you considered a heart-throb? Is that? I don’t, that’s the thing that you would have to ask. I, some people on the internet find me attractive sometimes, which I think is very cool and I’m super flattered by. That’s crazy. Now, are you considered a heart-throb? No, no, no. Nobody’s ever found me attractive. Are you sure? No, no. It’s never happened. I think, you know, you got a lot of confidence, you know? You got a lot of expertise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re very sweet, man. No, I think I’m so ugly that, like, it, it, like, I popped out the other side and now I’m hot. That’s the horseshoe effect. That’s what I really think. That’s the horseshoe effect. I think it’s just, like, I went, like, so far the other way that now I’m just like, I’m like, yeah, I’m hot. Now, am I supposed to tell you that you’ve had something in your tooth for a little bit? Yeah, yeah. You’re too busy staring at the veins, man. I’m just trying to bring you back down a little bit, but you do have, do you want me, do we have a toothpick? Maybe I could get it out for him. Thank you. I’m just going to knead this pasta for another like minute or two, you know, just trying to really hydrate that dough. We’re going to get some more flour. Stuck in there. We’re gonna hand roll it out. It’s gonna be so nice. I can check your temperature. Okay, okay. Okay. Wait, let me. Don’t poke me. I don’t like the dentist. I really don’t like the dentist. Just shut up. I know, I’m scared. Oh, I got it. Should we put it in the dough? This is beautiful, man. It looks like tie dye. It really does. The flecks, the strands. It’s so soft. Oh, come on, man. The strands in there look like your beautiful chest. I’d sleep. No, I don’t have the flattery gene in me. I can’t do it. Your chest hair is nice. I could sleep on this thing. It is, it’s so, it’s like a pillow. Okay, cut it one, I gotta roll this. We’re gonna cut it, so we’re gonna take this. You ever like hand roll a noodle like that before? – Oh, come on, pro over here. – No, have you? I have, it’s been a minute, man. I’m trying to think the last time I did this. I like to work. It’s really like sexual. Look at, this thing feels so good. Feel it. It really does though. I could give, I could make you like a nice little A little friendship? I’m never taking this off. – We eventually do gotta. – It kinda looks cool. It’s kinda sick actually. I think after a long period of time it will just harden. I’m gonna actually let it harden for the bit. – I need you to know that. – What do you mean, for the bit? Not for the bit, like. For life bit. For the life bit. Let me have another one. Okay. Why don’t you see what I do now? What do you? I don’t know. Where do you think I’m going to put this one? I don’t want to know. I feel pretty good about these. We just got to roll out like 60 more to create an entire bowl of it. Yeah. You know when like the old grandmas do it in like three seconds and they roll out, they’ve been rolling it out for 90 years, like every day, and their forearms are so much more jacked than yours. Don’t do that. Don’t do that thing where you raise me up to put me down. You know, don’t do that. Is that a leek? Yeah, it’s a leek. I like that. Thanks, man. Benny, we’re gonna keep rolling out these pastas. We’re gonna do it at like one sixth the speed of your average Croatian grandmother. And then we’re gonna boil them. We’re gonna make some meatballs. Meatball jewelry, man. Think about that one. Don’t like this idea. Terrible idea. It’ll harden. Hey, you! Yes, you! Did the public education system not fail you and you learned how to read? Well that’s fantastic news because we got a cookbook from a man that self identifies as so unattractive that he’s incredibly hot and everyone considers him a heart-throb. And if you want to make friends, well this is a cookbook for friends, and my friend Benny Blanco, Benjamin Levin Adonai Blanco, well he wrote this book, and it’s for you, and everyone. Is that a good pitch? That was so, you’re so warm right there. The warmth is crazy. It feels good. Yeah, I would believe anything that came out of your perfect little lips. You’ve heard of subliminal advertising? This is superliminal advertising. You’ve got a large man to screaming at you. Yeah, yeah. Please get my book, guys. Please. I don’t even know what camera to look at. There’s a hundred of them in here. Please get it. I love you. Speaking of cooking, Benny, we’re making meatballs. We’re making meatballs. We’re making meatballs. These are actually inspired by your meatball recipe in the cookbook, which is something that I deeply, deeply agree with. Because you put a whole lot of cheese in your meatballs. But we’re using the best product that we could find. So this is A5 olive fed Wagyu. And if you could read the certificate aloud to all the people, so they know that this is real olive A fed, olive A fed 5 Wagyu. Guys, this is literally a death certificate. I want my death certificate to be written in Japanese with cute like flowers around it, okay? What are you doing over there? All right, so you add, according to you, a full pound of Parmesan cheese into your meatballs. Yeah, of course. So, we’re going to do that, but we actually have three different ages of Parmesan. So this right here is an 18 month Parmesan. Full pressure. You get more of that milkiness. Then we got a 36 month parm right here. And you can actually see the difference on these, right? Like you see some more crystals forming. Tastes pretty similar. Don’t tell them that. Oh no, they, oh my God, what’s that? 36? 72 month aged Parmesan. A lot more crystals in there. I wonder if it’s gonna taste different. That’s the one. Let’s do it, man. Start feeding some meat in here. I’ll push it. I’ll plunge. Yeah, don’t get the fingers. Don’t get the fingers. Keep going, keep going. You gotta load a bunch of meat in there. Yeah, yeah. So we have the meat frozen. It’s gonna grind nice. This is all the A5. So, that’s gonna give you like that fattiness, right? You want some fat in your balls. I want fatty balls. That’s the thing that not enough people are concerned about. Is the fat on their balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The veal is going to get, like, a bit of a lighter texture, like a bit of a lighter sort of color to it. It’s got a leaner, less beefy flavor, you know what I mean? I love this. Benny. No, Benny. No! No! It’s, you know, it’s really the, I’m getting, I’m getting a lot of pull back from this. Take off the apron. The apron’s the problem. I might have to take my clothes off. Okay. Take all of your clothes off. Okay. Hold on. That wasn’t going in. I swear to God, my hand’s here. Oh! There it is! Crushed garlic. Do you want to start dumping all that stuff in there? I’m going to start grating cheese. No, I just want to eat the cheese. Can I just do that? I think so. Wait, we need a bigger bowl, man. What, you don’t think we can mix it all in this bowl? I don’t think so. This one? I like big bowls, dude. I like having room to kind of like slop around in there. There it is. That’s, come on, that’s better. The panade. How can we forget the panade? You gotta, you gotta splash the milky milk in the breadcrumbs. You gotta stir that around, let it soak. We’re gonna need a little bit more milky. This is just comical. This is a comical amount of cheese. Wait, can I just run this cheese through the meat grinder? Why not? Nicole, don’t curse. Yeah, shut the [BLEEP] up. Alright. What are you doing? I accidentally ground Parmesan into the beef, and now we have sort of like a, this is just raw beef and Parmesan. That’s one of the weirdest things I’ve ever put in my mouth. I like it. I hate that. Would you rather eat a bowl of this or Olive Garden? Get this big thing out of here. I’m trying. Listen man, we’ve had a good run right now. We don’t need to start fighting, alright? Okay. Alright? Pop that down. You want me to get dirty, don’t you? I feel like you’re somebody who relishes in getting dirty. You know? I’ve seen you do some dirty stuff, man. I relish in getting dirty? Yeah. Is that not accurate? Did I not peg it correctly? Yeah, you pegged me. Set myself up for that one. I just like gnawing on the rind. Like a guinea pig. You grow up with pets? We had gerbils. We weren’t allowed to have dogs, so we had gerbils. That’s a poor substitute for a dog. It’s crazy, we had gerbils, and we went away on vacation, and then when we came back, there was like 200 of them. And they were just like, they were like folding out of like, I guess we accidentally got a male and a female. And you want to know how mean my parents are? They just returned the whole cage with like 20 gerbils in it. And they were like, we, they were like, we can’t have these. Well, the pet store made money then. Yeah, the pet store literally, having my mother around for a pet store is like, a genius marketing campaign. My mom, you give two gerbils, and she brings you back 27. Okay, so we got camel, we got some heavy cream in here. We’re just gonna whip this butter. We got a whole like, encasement around this, cause it’s gonna start spraying everywhere. We’re just gonna like, let this fly. Splash some camel milk in there. And this is just gonna whip until it all sort of coagulates. If you take whipped cream, like way past the point of whipped cream, you’re gonna end up with butter. And then we’re gonna put that in our Olive Garden breadsticks. What? Now you’re dubious? I think I’m just cold. I’m cold, there’s hot, I don’t know where. Come on, come warm yourself. I don’t know what to do. Warm yourself by the fire, you’re feeling good. You want a massage? You want a massage? I got a lot of cheese. You have an incredible amount of body hair. Bend the shoulders back. Bend the shoulders back. There it is. It’s these traps back here. We’re at the home stretch right now. We’re both a little bit sweaty, we’re both a little bit tired, but now is the point where you just gotta emotionally buckle down. Okay. You know what I mean? I’m ready. I’m buckled. I’m fully buckled in. I’ve been doing Kegels all morning. We’re gonna do, we’re gonna do some meatballs. We’re gonna fry them off, right? Frying off meatballs that actually keeps them spherical. You use that technique in your cookbook? Yeah, of course I do. You wanna watch me drop one? I sure do. Oh! You hear it? I really do. You drop like a chef, though. You drop while speaking of, no, I shouldn’t talk about my undescended testicles. We’re gonna add salt, so this is that camel butter with the garlic in there. This is crazy. Camel butter? You wanna try it? You don’t wanna just eat it off the hairs of the brush? Let me just, let me stir it. I’m gonna brush that onto the, so, these are par-baked shokupan breadsticks. No, those are from Olive Garden. He just took them out of a bag. No, man, I thought we had our secrets. The pici’s looking good, the pici’s floating up. You just say things, and you say it so matter of factly, that it, that it sounds real. It is real. I don’t know what’s real or not. That’s good. That’s part of the mystique, man. Can I brush? Yeah, brush, brush, brush. Oh, it feels good to brush. This is, this is, I mean, this is really freaking nice. So the balls held their shape really well. We’re gonna take these out. They got a little bit of maillard on them, a little bit of browning. We’re gonna take that, pop it into that lovely anchovy sauce. Hell. You know, like those like videos on TikTok where they like caulk a bathroom or something. This is the same thing. I would get such joy out of watching a man or a woman just slowly brush these back and forth. Wow. This is. Who’s your dream person to wash, – brush your bread sticks? – You. Yeah? You. We know, man, if I start an OnlyFans i’m gonna have one subscriber, but. It’s not gonna be me. What? No, I wasn’t talking about you. I want a good deal. Alright guys, this is my cooking show now. Welcome. Look at your glasses. Hey, welcome back to the cooking show. Josh, first in the marquee, Josh and Benny. I’m sorry, I’ll let you go. You got it, you got it. Okay, we’re gonna tuck these boys in. And you just say goodnight. Cause what they gotta do is, what we really have to do is, we gotta cook these off, cause really, they’ve just, their outsides are fried. The insides are as raw as, as a meat donut could be. We’re tucking them in. We get them extra low. You put a little bit of sauce on top of them. And what this does is, it actually helps season the sauce even more. Yeah, you know, I bet you didn’t know that. I never knew that at all. Benny, we did it, man. Oh, my God. We got the saffron, hand rolled, pici pasta. in that lovely anchovy tomato sauce coming from your cookbook, Open Wide, out wherever cookbooks are. We got those Wagyu olive fed meatballs with the veal in there, all the Parmesan flights. Can I grate some cheese on top? Yeah, what are you talking about? Tell me when. Tell me when. Never. Keep going. Keep going. I want this moment to last a lifetime, Benny. Keep going. I’m trying my best. Keep going. The big muscles get tired easily. Get a little right over here. Yeah, it’s actually gonna help emulsify the sauce. Okay. Okay, gorgeous. Before we get into this though, reach into that drawer right there. We got the old Olive Garden. We have to eat it to remember what it tastes like. Your favorite restaurant. It’s so sad. This is depressing. Look at the way it wiggles though. I do like the wiggle. The color is so different. Oh my God, why does this smell, it smells so weird. It smells like Doritos. Oh boy, yep. There it is. Cheers. – No. – The texture’s off. The texture’s off. It’s the texture. We’re not having a good day at the Olive Garden right now. Okay. We’re not having a good day at the Olive Garden. Oh. Okay. Yeah, I know what you mean. It is simultaneously under and very overcooked. No. Soft and wet though. Well, you’ll admit that it’s soft and wet. There’s no mmhmm. I ate the meatball. I get it. I don’t, I have to eat it again? No, you don’t have to eat it. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want. Get it away. We’re getting this out of here. I want that camel milk in my mouth right now. Here. Camel milk mouth. Boom. Oh, my God. Why does that taste so good? That’s so good. Why is it so good? It’s kind of sweet. Little of that milk bread. You don’t still have gum in your mouth, do you? Spit the gum out. Spit the gum out, Benny. Alright. Are you going ball first? Yeah, I’m going ball first. I always go ball first. It’s the only way to do it. It’s more intimate that way. No, no, no, no. Now, I hold you. Oh my God. That is. I believe, I believe, whatever that religion is, I believe. I never would have had the confidence to put this much cheese in a ball until, you told me to. Let me taste this noodle. What the [BLEEP]. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Damn. How much, how much does this thing cost? For the low, low price of $349.71 You can also have this. Hear me out though. It’s money well spent. What? For just this plate? There’s a lot of Wagyu in there. Technically we didn’t use all the meatballs, but there’s a lot of Wagyu in here, there’s a lot of saffron in here, and all those flavors really come through though. This is actually, this is actually one of the best things we’ve ever made on the show. Really? Yeah, 100%. And a lot of that was because of you. Both because of your cookbook. I’m not gonna let go, okay? Don’t have to, man. Thank you so much for coming on the show. What did you say? You love me and you want to spend more time with me? That’s kind of crazy. What am I doing tonight? Hey, why are you so weird? Why is this guy being weird? I was super normal the whole episode. What’s my underwear size? What? I already saw it in the back. Thank you so much, man. Everybody check out Open Wide: A Cookbook for Friends. By Benny. Go get it! There’s actually nothing even in this book, it’s just the Olive Garden’s phone number. Bye! See y’all next time. Face the reality of mortality head on with our new Last Meals hat and tee. Available now at mythical.com