We’re making the fanciest Subway sandwich you’ve ever seen! Lily and I are elevating the classic Subway tuna sandwich with ingredients you’ll never find in any old assembly line. Breathe! I don’t want to! Push! – I’m pushing! – Push! Will Lily remember to take out parasites from the tuna? I fear I may have put about eight times more uni than I should have added. Will doing pelvic floor exercises help our cooking technique? Do you want to, like, role play a little bit? Let’s find out. Josh, what? Why is this on your floor? So, that was for my Eurovision party a couple months ago. It’s all the flags of Europe. You have, what’s this like Latvia or maybe Austria. You got Belgium. Okay. I don’t need all the flags. Greece. Marina Satti’s song this year is really good. I like Greece. Oh my gosh. I don’t have any storage space in my apartment, so I just leave it in my car. I’m going to put this in the back too. Yeah. Ooh, my Olipop. When’s the last time you ate a tuna sandwich from Subway? It’s been a while, honestly. Okay. I got it toasted. Subway has upped their game. This looks really lovely. So, they don’t have honey oat bread. Oh, they discontinued the honey oat bread? Yeah, they did. I thought they brought it back, but this is just a wheat bread. So we’re gonna roll with it. Well, we can bring back the honey oat bread ourselves. Because that was the best bread in the history of Subway. Yeah, I always got it. It was like a cake from an Eastern Bloc country that no longer exists. Okay. That’s a delight. Wait. We should be getting this more. This is the best Subway sandwich I’ve ever had. No, you’re lying. I’m serious. When have I had a better Subway sandwich? I don’t know. Not like a submarine sandwich, but like from Subway. They’ve really crushed it. Yeah, they were good in there. It was busy. There was a report that came out a while ago that they DNA tested the tuna and it came back as not tuna. Completely false. This is tuna. They tried to DNA test cooked tuna. How do we know? We don’t know anything. They could be genetically breeding fish in some weird, farm. No, I don’t like it. I don’t want to eat it anymore. I think we should genetically breed our own fish. How do you think we should fence by this? Well, I think that we should put a fish in here that isn’t tuna. Or some sort of protein. Sort of as an homage to the? Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Like a sort of Maury, you are not the tuna moment. Yeah. I think that’s fun. I feel like an olive oil confit or something. Ooh, that sounds good. Slow cook it. It’d be like the tinned fish girlies that we are. Yes, I am a tinned fish girly. I saw you suck down so much tinned fish that one night. I love tinned fish. It was unreal. She was like a little goblin. Give me a cockle and I’ll eat it. – Lily will eat your cockle. – I’ll eat your cockle any day. That’s a threat and a promise. Multiple of them. Call it the cockle gobbler. So, we actually stole this fish from the back of Subway This is the same product that they’re using there, but they cook theirs in the microwave. And canned, so you just put it in cans after. The cans are all for show. Yeah. No, Lily tell them about the fish because I’m really freaking stoked on what we’re about to do here. Okay, well, this is the most expensive cut. This is blue fin tuna and that is considered to be the most expensive tuna in the world. It can get up to 2,000 pounds, which is crazy. And then we have a yellowfin tuna, which look pretty similar. But you can see, like, the skin is a little spotty on here. Blue fin tuna is supposed to have some more intramuscular fat, but, like, this yellowfin’s actually pretty well marbled in there. Yeah, it’s, it’s a nice little piece right here. And then we have swordfish as well. Big swordfish guy. Yeah, it’s Subway. It’s Subway. It’s Subway. We can’t just have tuna in our tuna sandwich. There’s gotta be an element of mystery in there. I think what we should do is go to the dumpster out back of the Aldi and just grab some mystery fish and throw it in here too. I’m down. To make it true to Subway. Yeah. What’s fancier than wild foraged fish? Yeah, that’s true. – I’m an Aldi. – Forging the Aldi. We got some olive oil in here. We’re gonna confit it. We’re gonna add some aromatics to that as well. You don’t want the olive oil to get past about 200 degrees because confit-ing is cooking slowly in fat over time. I did know that. Yeah, I don’t know, man. Just listen. Sometimes, you know, you’re cooking with like a video game streamer who never learned how to read, you know? So we’re going to melt down some American cheese. Subway, they got those lovely white American cheese triangles. For anybody that says that you shouldn’t put cheese in fish, piss off, man. We’re doing it. Lily’s a freaking wild card, that’s why they call her the junkyard dog. Lily, give them the junkyard dog bark. I just spit everywhere. So we’re gonna melt some of this down and then we’re gonna add some caviar, leave it in big chunks. We’re making caviar cheese. I don’t know if anybody’s ever done that before. It’s the first time in the Mythical Kitchen. What do you think the like worst firsts that we’ve done for the food world? We’ve done so many bad things. We’ve done a lot of bad things. Yeah. We’re gonna have to really atone for our sins at some point. Today’s not that day. I did like a fish gut filled jelly donut. That was probably one of my low points. I remember that. Yeah, you had to literally eviscerate some fish. I kept making Colby, our culinary PA, eat it to see if it was bad enough. Not making, giving Colby the opportunity. Yeah, giving Colby the opportunity. To prove his worth, come on. He’s allowed to do whatever he wants. This is the bloodline. I just want to show everyone. It’s like a lot darker on here. This is kind of what gives like fish that fishy taste, so we don’t want to include that. It doesn’t taste amazing. I’m gonna add a little bit more milk. We’re effectively making, an American cheese ganache. Oh, I have some BTS that I wanted to share. We have this format on GMM called tiny big food, and I made this giant, spicy tuna crispy rice. And I got tuna, and it had so many parasites in it. There were so many parasites. It was fine because I froze it before, so they were all dead, but I still did feed it to Rhett and Link. And I think, like, most of the people at the company ate it. But I didn’t eat any. Well, if you got the parasites out, you just? I tried to pull some of them out, but there were some that were I’m not even kidding this long. I’m sorry everyone. I’m sorry. I’m just telling you now. Did anyone eat it? There’s only been like three fish parasite related deaths, in America in the last like 20 years. And we’re about to have nine of them here, so that’s. Yeah! That’s a record. Do you, eat a lot of Subway in your lifetime? I, between 16 and 18, I ate probably about I’d say 900 feet worth of Subway sandwiches. – 900 feet? – If I had to estimate. It was like the closest thing to my high school and you were like allowed to leave for lunch. And like, didn’t have a lot of money and we’re deep, in the five dollar foot long era. Oh gosh. And so like, eating Subway with you in my car really did remind me of high school. Oh, you’re welcome. Except you didn’t try and convert me to evangelical Christianity. Oh yeah, no, I didn’t do that. Do you want to now? I’m good. Lily, give me your pitch. I’m good. I don’t want to like, put any of your. You don’t want to fellowship with me? No, I don’t even. Your lost, alright. God dang it! That looks great! All right, so we got that sheet here. Okay, I’m just going to freaking. Okay, well, here, just switch around. No, this oil is too hot, dude. How hot’s the oil? It’s too hot. Is this the same one I use to take my temperature? Probably. It’s going to kill off, though. Dude, no, the oil’s 250 degrees. I know I’m not going to put the tuna in, but I do want to. The aromatics. What? Oh, you’re trying to like, like, you’re trying to fry off the aromatics. Yes, I’m trying to get it. Are you sure that’s what you’re doing? Yes, I am. We can’t have this fight right now. I’m going to put. You got two alpha females in the kitchen right now. The episode. Brightland, I’m gonna just put some of this in here just to cool down the oil. Don’t put water in there to cool it down. I’m making a leaf print. Like in a scrapbook. Do you wanna try these? Yeah. Okay. Oh yeah, Brightland olive oil is a really cool product. It is from California, it’s like from LA right? It’s really close by. So this is made with Arbequina, Arbosana, and Koroneiki olives. So an Arbequina olive oil, one of my favorites, super bright, super spicy. This one’s for cozy days and slow nights. I don’t want them to tell me. Here, just drink it out of the bottle. I don’t drink it out of the bottle. Oh, this one’s a lot lighter. Oh, that is a peppery punch to the uvula right there. God dang. This is pure Arbequina, right? There’s so much oil on my hand. I like this one better. This is for verve and vibrancy. The pure Arbequina has like a ton of bitterness to it. Do you feel more verved and vibrant? Oh yeah, I do. I’m too, bro, I’m verved out right now. I love that sound. That’s the sound that sound guy James hears when I go to the bathroom and forget to turn my mic on. Oh yeah, I do that all the time as well. All the time. James, what’s the weirdest bathroom noise you’ve heard from us? The worst? When we were doing, when we were doing tour rehearsal, we all had the live microphones on, the Britney Spears mic, she’s like, you know the one that’s over here? And, you would say something and it would broadcast it out loud to an entire theater, and if you went to the bathroom and forgot to turn it off, Because they would sometimes even lock your mics then you would just hear like. Mine was like going. That’s what my eep sounds like. You would hear pee sounds and then people flushing and it was embarrassing. That’s really gross. I know. We got some Tsar Nicoulai osetra caviar. Osetra is the Russian language. What’s the term, word? Osetra is the Russian word for sturgeon. This is a product from Bulgaria. You wanna try some? Yeah, I do. You a caviar girly? I am a caviar. No, actually I’m not going, like I’m a caviar girly here. You know what I mean? Like on the company dime. I’m a caviar girly on a trout roe budget. Do you pay for the? Oh god, that’s good. That’s really nice. Oh, that’s so good. I’m just gonna dollop some of this caviar around here. My hands are so tuna-y and so oily. Don’t wash them, just let it ride. That’s what I do. We have some oregano from actually a previous Fancy Fast Food, and this just stays like this, so why not keep it? Big oregano branches are great, dude. It makes it fancy because we have it, where you keep it in an Erewhon container. Okay. Can we get Hailey Bieber on here? Just gonna brush it down. Can you like anoint me? That is beautiful. Thank you. I am a beautiful soul. What? Nothing. What happened? The Silpat that, I should have said something, to press it down, but it’s great. So after this, we’ll take a Silpat and kind of just press it into the cheese. I knew that, but I was doing a technique in culinary that’s called double bagging. Oh yes, the double bag trick. Which is actually not as safe. Okay. Cheese, we’re gonna put a Silpat on top of that. No, I can do it. I can do it. No, it’s my mess up. It’s my mess up. I’m gonna lift this and grab the other one. It’s all very hot. It’s all very hot. Go, go, go, go, go. Go, go, go, go. Nice. Now put it down. Gogol Bordello. There you go. And then I’m just kind of press in. Nicole loves Gogol Bordello. Oh, yeah. Am I wrong about that? I listen. She says so, so. Crush it. Alright. There we got caviar, dill, cheese. I forgot to put lemon zest on it. I put lemon zest in here. I know, but I want to put lemon zest in there. It’s too late. It’s too late. Yep. What are you jiggling? Keeping the whisking arm loose. Oh, yeah. We’re about to hand whisk some mayonnaise. Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah, dude. You gotta get the whisk in there, and it’s all It’s in the wrist action. No, no wrist. You gotta keep your wrist completely flat. How’s your core? Core is tight. I’ve been Kegeling the whole time doing this. Too TMI. Pelvic floor, what? TMI. Pelvic floor muscles are really, are really important. Honey oat bread. Honey oat bread. Apparently discontinued at the Subway. The greatest bread in the history. So good. Of Subway. It’s so good. It’s so sugary. It’s like a cake. What are you doing to it? So, we have some toasted oats, some nice fancy toasted oats. I’m going to add them to some flour. We just have some normal yeast. And then, we made this really nice brown butter earlier. We just let, brown butter is like a really nice ingredient to just like have in your fridge. Anyone can do it. It goes past the clarifying stage and the milk solids start to brown. And you can see this nice color. So we’re gonna add this. What’s happening over there? It’s like quail eggs, but so tiny. Quails have tiny little cloaca. Do you need my little fingers? No, and don’t, don’t say that. It’s weird if I’m talking about Kegeling, but you can say, do you need my tiny little fingers? I don’t know how you took it, but that’s just an honest question. Why do, I, Kegels are good for everybody. Can you talk about this? I strengthened them every, is that the Mahlab? Yes, it is. Mahlab is a really, really cool product. So it is the ground pit of a particular kind of cherry. Taste it, dude. Tastes like a big old handful of the Mahleb. So it’s added to a lot of baked goods in like, let’s say like the Asia Minor region. Do you want to taste it? Yeah, here, put some on my elbow. You need me to, never mind. It has a very bitter flavor to it. Cyanide! Cyanide. It’s a chemical called amygdalin, which is actually converted to cyanide in the body. Hence the bitterness. I think the smell is really good. Yeah, and then it tastes a little bit bitter, but. Can you die from eating too much? Can you die from eating cyanide? Yeah, man. I don’t know. I don’t know how much Mahlab powder it’d take to kill you. I am built different though. So it’d probably take a lot. We have this annoyingly fancy product. We got it for like $100 at Neiman Marcus. I thought Neiman Marcus sold clothing? I know, but apparently they have salts. Nicole, what does Neiman Marcus sell? You’re the fanciest person I know. Everything. Mostly clothes, shoes, bags, accessories. And salt. Give me some salt. You want a little salt bump in your? That’s a lot. Yeah, there you go. Oh, God, crunchy like a Pringle and salty like a salt. Is it good? God, it’s salt! It’s like finishing salt, but we’re just gonna add a little bit to the dough. And then they also have fleur de sel, which I probably should have used. It’s good? Yeah, yum. Salt helps firm up protein, so does acid, so we’re gonna use a little bit of lemon juice. And now I’m going to attempt to do a thing that I said I would never do ever again, which is make a hand whisk mayonnaise. The idea is you’re creating an emulsion with the proteins in the egg yolks and then oil. So, we’re gonna try and whip this up to get some air into it. It’s gonna help the oil emulsify into it even better. Why don’t you like to hand whisk? Because there’s so many tools that we have that can make this better. We got a Vitamix, we got an immersion blender. Okay, not everyone has fancy Vitamixes and People have the $100 Neiman Marcus salt? It’s the episode! We’re supposed to get fancy items. I know. We’re trying. I don’t have this laying around in my house. So, I’m gonna add this drop by drop. This is royal jelly. It’s a pretty expensive product. I’m gonna read the back of it. Royal jelly is premium quality and high potency. Fresh royal jelly is the queen bee’s only source of food, which enables her to live 40 times longer than worker bees. And you use it as like a little supplement. Of course, the queen lives 40 times longer than the worker bees, man. Why don’t presidents fight the war? Why do they always send the poor, huh? Yeah. Ask that, Serj Tankian. Do you want to try it? What? Do you want to try it? Wait, so wait, hold on, what is this made out of? Is this bee spit that they’re feeding to the queen? They’re spitting in the queen’s mouth? Where’s the? It contains no sugar. It just says what it doesn’t contain. Ingredients, pure fresh royal jelly. That is. It’s yeasty, and it’s sour. Bro, that’s weird. And it tastes like wax a little bit. It’s really weird. But I heard on the internet that it’s good for pre-menstrual and post-menopausal symptoms. I’ve never menstrualed yet, so technically I’m pre-menstrual. Well if your girl’s being a royal B word, then just put a little of this in her mouth. You should be the spokesperson for royal jelly. There you go, you’re doing great. It’s all on the pelvic floor, people. Did you add the lemon juice? Alright, in 10 seconds we’ll switch. Okay. 10, 9, gotta go hard. 8, 7, like you’re in one of those white lady yoga classes. 6, 5, pulse your core, beach body. 7, 5, 3, 2, 1, switch! That’s nice. What, is that ah coming from? What end of your body? That’s an emulsion. I haven’t breathed! Okay, breathe! I don’t want to! – Push! Push! – I’m pushing! Harder! It’s emulsified for sure. Yeah, that’s good. That’s the mayo right there. It’s beautiful. Look at, oh, look at that. Okay. That’s the pump you want, Lily. That’s what gets you out of bed in the morning when you’re making the mayonnaise. We got a bunch of gonads of spiky sea creatures here. We got a bunch of, flesh that’s been ripped out of deep sea fish, baked in olive oil. You got, those are a lot, what are those, the legs of like a? No, it’s just bread. It’s just bread. It’s bread. – Yeah. – It’s bread. So, that’s bee pollen and I put it on my açaí bowls every Saturday morning after I do pilates or a bar. Tastes like if you made fish food that’s flavored like bees. Have you tried it straight up? Yeah, I did. I did yesterday. What does it do for you? I like it. It’s a crunch. It’s just a crunch? It’s got like a real earthy, but then it, if you let your, okay, if you let your saliva mix with it, it tastes like honey, because bees let their saliva mix with it. Like, kind of, stop eating it. You’re creeping me out. You’re creeping me out, and I’m normally the one who creeps people out. Bees. Okay, I have a little bread blade here. I’m gonna score it. And this is just gonna help it stay in its little loaf shape. So this is, Kewpie mayonnaise. This is a very egg yolk rich mayonnaise made in Japan. Typically has a little bit of MSG in it. I’m gonna palm heel strike. Some garlic right here. We’re gonna pop that in there. We’re making this chipotle southwest sauce. I ate too much bee pollen. Yeah, dude, you should probably make yourself throw up. I don’t know what to, I don’t know what to. You’re gonna turn into a queen bee. You gotta start sucking down that royal jelly so you live 40 times longer. Oh yeah, that’s true. That’s worth it. I’m just a worker bee over here. Garlic, a little bit of crème fraîche. Crème fraîche. Crème fraîche. I’m going in with my royal jelly egg wash. This is so crazy. And I’m gonna put the bee pollen and some salt and some toasted oats on it and it’s gonna be really delicious. I think this crème fraîche got too hot on the truck. Does it taste a little too fraîche-y? Yeah, dude, the textures. I don’t know. Try it. You’ve eaten a lot of bee pollen. No, no, it’s like gritty. It is a little gritty. We’re gonna blend it. – Whatever. – This is a lot of flavors. I don’t want it in there. The crème fraîche is bad. Yeah, don’t use the crème fraîche if you don’t want to use the crème fraîche. Crème fraîche, I forgot. I don’t know. Crème fraîche, you’re going back in there. I don’t want the crème fraîche. Chipotle peppers. Yeah. As my Nana says. She loves a Chipotle, man. She can never finish a burrito because she’s like this big and the burritos are like, it’s adorable. Who? My Nana. Nana? Nana Scherer, she used to own bookstores in Allentown, Pennsylvania, but then Crown Books sorta like killed her small business. Thanks. She’s still alive? Yeah, no, that was, my grandma’s dead. Nana’s alive. Oh, okay. Nana’s actually my aunt. Confusing. Sorry, when you got so many dead relatives between us, it’s hard to track. I know, can’t keep track anymore. We said Chipotle southwest sauce, we didn’t say southwest of where. That’s why we’re adding Calabrian chiles in there, which might be in the southwest of Italy, I’m not sure. We’re gonna drop a little bit of onion powder in there. Onion powder kind of like makes it sing, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Like. Jersey Shore. You know? I love that song. You know? There it is. Should I blend this first to see what it tastes like, then put in uni? I think so. I think you should see where you’re at. The uni looks so nice, by the way. Can we just have a little, a little tongue? Yeah. Well, here, I’ll get one for you. Real quick. That’s a lot. You want me to flip it in your mouth? I’m just gonna like, I don’t, I don’t know the best way to do this. I don’t know the best way to do that. So this is uni from Hokkaido, which is going to be a lot more sort of pungent and intense. But just as gonadal as the Santa Barbara variety. It’s so sweet. It’s like sugar. It’s like sea sugar. It’s delicious. Can I use my hands? Absolutely. Lily, I thought you’d never ask. You’re finally learning. Abandon that Michelin star technique. You should go up to every table and mash it with your hands. Hands are the best equipment. I agree. I mean, that looks like southwest sauce. I have no idea what this is about to taste like. You wanna try it? Yeah. That is a disgusting. Okay, well, eat it. That’s weird. I fear I may have put about eight times more uni than I should have. If I’m being dead honest, because this is horrifying. Wait, wait, wait. What happened here? Because I’ve done this before. I’ve done this before. You know what it is? You know when you heat uni? Maybe we should have heated the uni. So it’s like. I don’t know if there’s any should have. I have an idea. I have a better idea. I have a better idea. Somebody, take, here, Annaliese, take it home. For your husband. For your husband. For your husband. I think, I want to put this on the sandwich separately. I think the agitation of the food processor did something to the proteins. Because if you see, like, this, this isn’t the texture that I was looking for. That’s not what I want. The crème fraîche is curdled. The uni’s turning into some sort of amorphous ooze. Is this gonna be good? It’s gonna be great. More, add more mayonnaise. Come on, don’t be. Okay, what? Got a little bit of Banyul’s vinegar. This is a Appellation d’origine, no, no, no, Appellation d’origine contrôlée. Protected wine vinegar out of France. They had to get government intervention to make sure that this wine vinegar is protected. Oh, is it good? That is actually stupendous. You want to try it? Yeah. I don’t know what was in this, but. Take a shot. That’s actually a really fantastic wine vinegar. Too much, but it is really good. Yeah. It’s really good. Okay. Penzeys Spices, they make really fantastic spices. They have buttermilk here. Yeah. Your hand? – My hands are so. – Yeah, there you go. It’s on your teeth. You gotta lick your teeth. Good. Lily, against all odds, we have the beautiful honey oat bread with the bee pollen on it. We got our tuna salad. We got everything we need. Should we start making the sandwich? Yeah, but do you wanna like, role play a little bit? Role play, you say? Yeah? Like, you know, you meet at a hotel bar. No, okay. I think you should try to be a customer. Yeah? And I’m like the, the person that works at the Subway. – Everyone’s got different. – An employee. Everyone’s got different things they’ll do. Okay. Hey. Sorry, can I get a? Yeah, what do you want? – Yeah. – Bread? Can I get an Italian BMT? Sorry, we don’t have that. Can I get a Cold Cut Combo? No, come on, let’s go. I really just have to use the bathroom. No, no, you have to pay. – Alright. – What are you reading? Can you get off your phone? Sorry. Yeah, give me a, tuna salad sandwich on a honey oat. Okay. Foot long? Six inch? Yeah, foot, yeah. Got it. – Okay. – First time here? First time here? I don’t, you don’t really need to make small talk. Alright. Cheese? Cheese? Yeah, please. You, do you, do you look? Hey, can you keep your, keep away from the display? Sorry, I’m so. You’re like spitting over the display right now. No, I’m sorry. What kind of cheese? Provolone? American? – Swiss? – Oh, all of them. No, I mean that one. Okay. Yeah. You’re the nicest Subway employee I’ve ever met. Yeah, whatever, dude. I’m just trying to get through my shift. Smells like cigarettes. You want toasted? Yeah. No, I don’t know. I don’t care. Whatever you want to do. Look, just. Yes, I would love my sub toasted. I don’t, I don’t get paid enough for this. I know, I just, it’s not my. You think I want to be here? You think I want to be at a Subway on Wednesday at 3:14 pm? You think I want to be here? Something has gone wrong in my life as well. I’m asking everyone if they want chips and a cookie, all day long. You got the new footlong cookie? No. Look at how buff this guy is. He’s pretty buff. Pretty buff, right? Yeah, that guy probably works out. Buffer than you. Yeah. Yeah. Sure is, huh? You know, normally they toast the bread without the tuna inside of it. No, they, they did it. They do it with the tuna on. Wait, they toast it with tuna? Yes. So, yeah, let’s break the fourth wall here. This is called breaking the fourth wall. Hey, what’s up? So, Lily, Lily went inside and ordered the sandwiches. While I, listened to Suicidal Tendencies, great band, in my car and kept the air conditioning on so the cameras didn’t overheat. They toasted it with the tuna inside of it? Yeah, they toasted it with the tuna. That’s why the tuna was so hot? Yes, the tuna was in the oven. I don’t think they’re supposed to do that. 45 seconds? I didn’t look. Incredible. Yeah. Okay, anyway, lettuce? Yep. Okay. Next? Give me some of the cucumber. Okay. Yeah, I’ll take the tomato. I hate you so much. Look, I’m just trying to. We have to take nice photos of. – There’s like. – Onion, I want onion! There’s 20 construction workers. Please! I know there’s never 20 customers in a Subway. There’s 20 construction workers. They all want meatball subs for some reason. No, they don’t. Yes, they do. That’s the last thing they want. Yeah, they do. Give me the uni. We’re putting uni on there. Yep. Now really lovingly shower those gonadalobes on there. You want more? Pickles. This is also an extra charge. Yeah, I know. How much? – $50 extra. – Jesus Christ. Give me some olives. Salt, pepper, just a little bit, just a little bit. Good enough? No, a lot of pepper, a little bit of salt. Yeah, oh God! Good, a little bit of salt, there we go. Shower it with that orange mayonnaise right there. Okay, it has a name. Steve, shower it with Steve, I don’t know its name. This is our southwest sauce. Give me the chipotle southwest, Jesus Christ. A little bit of vinegar. Oh, well I have a question, is that, is that, regionally protected Banyuls vinegar? Look dude, I’m just trying to get off. Like, please. Don’t say you’re trying to get off. I’m trying to get off. Listen, we all, hey, the role play, it works! My, nevermind. What were you gonna say, Lily? My pelvic floor. Diagonal? Yeah. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know what I did. I don’t know what I did. That’s not how they do it! I don’t know what I did. That’s not how they do it! I don’t know what happened! I don’t know why you’re behind! I don’t know what happened! Why? I don’t know! What do you mean no? Why are you behind the counter? What do you mean no? It’s a sandwich wrapped in paper! It’s not the way that Subway does it! How do they do it? I work here, you don’t. I don’t know why you’re behind the counter right now. Well, there ya have it, we made our, whatever fancy Subway tuna sandwich. Do we just, should we clean this up or do we just, should we eat the stuff now? By God, Lily, we’ve done it. We’ve eaten fresher than anyone in history. We’ve made a fancy tuna sandwich from Subway. It’s beautiful. It really is. Should we try it? Let’s do it. Nope, sorry, we have to, you have to eat the one that I made. Sorry. And I wrapped it. You paid for it. Before we do that, we gotta eat the original. Sandwiches, where are they? Break it out. See how much different it looks. Okay, can you look? – What? – This is how they wrap it. It’s diagonal. I don’t know what to tell you. I freaked out and I just did what I did and I don’t regret anything. I don’t want to eat this again. You gotta eat it again. That looks different. It’s pretty good, pretty good. Pretty good. All right, let’s check this one. Check it out. Give me a sec. I’ll be back. Remember that gross sludge that we made? Yeah, why is it still here? Because look! There’s been a Christmas miracle. We don’t know what happened. We think once the uni settled, it, try it. It needs to settle. The uni gonads need to settle. And now it’s really good and I’m gonna dip my whole freaking sandwich in there. It’s really good. Yeah. But, cut my half with a bread knife. That’s confusing. Alright. I mean it doesn’t look bad. It actually looks similar to the, the actual Subway. It looks so similar to the actual Subway. Sorry I made it accurate. I’m putting, do you want some uni on yours? I’m good for now. Alright. It’s not bad. It’s really, it’s like very well done. You get the honey from the bread. Very honey. The tuna salad itself is really, really good. The fish is so much more tender. You’re not getting that like overcooked chicken kind of gorilla grip that Subway tuna has on your mouth. I like the bee pollen part. You gotta try it with the uni sauce. Lily, come on. For me, thank you. Thank you. It’s knowing that it, it’s knowing that it did the Blizzard thing earlier. – It taste good. – I have no problem with it. Yeah, I know but like. I’m having a great time. It really stiffened up. I have a question. It tastes pretty good in my mouth, but why do I feel sick inside? I think knowing, just everything that happened, making this. Yeah, I think it was really gross for a while. This tastes very good, but I feel no amount of pride in myself for doing this. I don’t know if making an expensive Subway tuna sandwich is a worthwhile use of your time. I don’t think it is. Let alone funds. But how much did it cost? $362.49. Yeah, hear me out, there’s a lot that we could’ve done with that, that isn’t this. Or that. Or this. Or anything. I’m not gonna say I regret because we needed to do this for science. You know what I mean? We did it. We sure did it. I love this uni sauce. I can’t watch you eat this. Why? People are gonna be so mad at you in the comments. Lily, look, people are mad at me in the comments. Look at that. You have uni sauce all over your face and hands. Like, look, that’s disgusting. And that’s the least ashamed I am about anything involved in this episode. Well, take a breather, reset, come back, live to cook another day. Yeah. Hey dude, thanks so much for stopping by Mythical Kitchen. We’ll do better next time. Go behind the scenes of the Good Mythical Tour with a new documentary available now on mythicalsociety.com