- The fast food Pizza game is hotter than it’s ever been and only one restaurant can claim the cheesy throne. So what is the future of Pizza Hut, the one time king of pies have in store? Let’s find out. This is Future Fast Food (electronic music) Future Fast Food entry number 4,865. In my quest to predict and make every viral fast food item of the future, today I find myself wading through the cheese lakes of Pizza Hut. In 2009 Pizza Hut’s chief digital officer said, “By observing our customers’ digital lifestyles “we’ll continue to evolve as they do.” The takeaway is clear, Pizza Hut is tracking you online to create the world’s most sophisticated Pizza generating algorithm. That’s right Pizza Hut will soon pay more attention to your clicks than it’s crust. So how do we beat the algorithm to the punch? Here’s what we know. Instagramers everywhere putting everything you can imagine on top of their pizzas. There’s a nacho pizza in Tucson, the taco pizza in Hoboken, spaghetti pizza in Vegas, the calzone piece in Detroit, the buffalo tater tot pizza in Boulder, the butter chicken pizza in San Francisco, oh my god, Pizza Huts future fast food is the four-way buffalo chicken calzone pizza. They just don’t know it yet. We got to start by making our boneless buffalo wings and our jalapeno poppers. (upbeat music) This is gonna be the wet dredge for our boneless wings then we’re gonna add milk into that and then whisk it up. We got our boneless skinless chicken breast here for our boneless wings. And you just cut these into cubes. Also boneless wings and nuggets, not the same thing. Boneless wings are technically popcorn chicken and in the future, chicken nuggets are outlawed. Legally I’m not allowed to say why. And then all your chicken’s gonna go right into seasoned flour and then you’re gonna shake some flour off and then drop it into your wet mixture. Drop these back into the dry and then give that another nice toss and then you’re gonna put this right into your fry basket. While those are frying gonna go ahead and take your buffalo sauce and put it in the bottom of your bowl. Save a little bit sprinkle on top, but then you’re gonna toss that. And now we gotta pull the wings. Don’t want to drain off all the oil, because you want some of that to really get it nice and coated. Pour the rest your buffalo sauce on top. Then you’re gonna go ahead and give these a nice toss to get them all coated. All right, now all the buffalo wings are coated, those ready to go. You gotta make your jalapeno poppers. So we’re gonna remove the stems and then we’re just gonna slice right down the middle. Now a common misconception that every jalapeno, seeds are hot. I learned a really interesting trick. What you do is when you’re handling jalapenos with your bare hands call over a loved one and just press a finger right into their eyeball. If they scream then you have a hot jalapeno. If they don’t then it’s not. So you’re just gonna go ahead and scoop out the ribs and seeds. And then you take a mixture of cream cheese and cheddar and smear that right in the crevice. All right, now that we got these filled, we got to take our slices of bacon. We’re just gonna go ahead and give that a once-over wrap and then pierce that with a toothpick. All right, now these are gonna go in the oven at about 350 degrees for 20 minutes. All right, so we need to prove that we can make this as fast as possible, get it into customers’ hands. So, all right start the clock. Flour. Dough. Come on dough. All right. So you got a roll out your dough. This is gonna take a while. But that’s fine, I think people are gonna be fine waiting all that extra time for this pizza, because it’s not about the time which you can get it out it’s the time to social media engagement. Keep in mind this pizza, it’s hardly even food. This pizza is digital content to be consumed by people through their eyes and I’m not just saying that to hedge. Sometimes I think the Matrix was right and humans are useless. Yeah, stretch the dough out. Then you just gotta trace around the edges, get a perfect circle. All right, now you need to add a bowl to the center that’s gonna serve as a guide. What you need to do is make cuts going out from the bowl in four directions. These are gonna form your four calzones. I call them the calzone zones. Now we gotta start stuffing with our appetizers. So go ahead and take some of those buffalo chicken bites, jalapeno poppers, now we put our slider there. In the future beef is gonna be really expensive, climate change is gonna make cattle herds of shortage and so tiny burger lots of chicken. Economics, boom. You can tell I dropped out of college. Then we’re gonna shove nachos in the other one. Now we got to roll these guys up. Boom, there’s one calzone zone. You might be wondering, aren’t these nachos just gonna steam and get super soggy and that makes no sense? Stupid question, the algorithm is never wrong. It’s what created this pizza, not me. Address your questions to, I don’t know Agent Smith or whatever. All right, we got our four calzone zones made. Now we gotta do the actual pizza. Sauce down. Cheese ‘er up. Buffalo chicken on top. So the pizza part is done, the calzone zones are made, now we got to make our sauce dip zones inside the calzone zones. We got for calzone zones and then for dip zones. We just got to take a little wedge of dough. Boom, dip zones are done, now this goes in the oven for about 10 minutes. First things first, we got to fill our calzone zone dipping zones. One gets guac. Thousand Island for the sliders. Barbecue sauce. And then finally ranch dressing. And then ranch is also gonna go on top of the pizza itself. You can’t have buffalo chicken without ranch, that’d be crazy. Buffalo sauce. Celery for garnish. Carrots. Finally, a little bit of red onion. Time. – [Man] 19:30. – Okay, 19 minutes and 30 seconds. It’s not the fastest time anyone’s ever made a pizza, but it might be the slowest. That said, if you want speed, you go to Domino’s. If you want quality and mad Instagram likes developed by an artificial intelligence super computer algorithm, you go to Pizza Hut. That’s what this pizza’s about. How will we market this miracle pizza so delicately ringed by four exquisitely filled calzones? It’s simple ya dummy. We invite our customers to have a four-way. (upbeat music) Having some friends over for the big game? Well the best way to do a little male bonding is with a four-way. Are the in-laws coming over and you’ve run out of ways to entertain them? No problem, have a four-way. Hosting a dinner party with the Fantastic Four? Sorry, can’t help you. We couldn’t afford to license a photo. But hosting a dinner party with three wild chimpanzees, have a four-way. So there it is, with a reasonable price tag of $17.99 for a large four-way buffalo chicken calzone pizza. There is no doubt that this is Pizza Hut’s future fast-food. And always Glorp, Glorp, come feed your master. Oh my god, you’re always there aren’t you? – [Glorp] Glorp. – Well Glorp Glorp, you know to do. In the future his people will only eat a genetically modified clam like species so he really likes ripping the shells off the top of things. – [Glorp] Glorp. – It’s his favorite thing to do. Oh my god, you should see him. Can you get me a little bit of slider? All right slider and ranch. Mm. I like the slider seems in there, it makes sense. Okay. Coming in with a little bit of, a little bit of buffalo chicken and some barbecue sauce, that’s not bad. Okay. (laughing) This is a lot to take in right now. The best part about this is you get so much variety. You can dip everything. There’s according to my calculations, at least 1,028 combinations of bites you can make, but again, as long as you’ve taken a picture and posted on Instagram, that’s all that matters. That’s what’s driving this into the future. This is the future of fast food, food future food fast of future fast food. I can’t concentrate when Glorp Glorp does this. It’s mating season for his people. Let’s make this future fast-food a reality, click the Twitter link in the description below to hit up Pizza Hut with Future Fast Food. No pressure, but if you don’t Glorp Glorp will find you. See you next week for another episode of Future Fast Food and as they say in the future, “Glorp, Glorp, Glorp, Glorp, Glorp.”