Today we’re cooking the best burgers of the last hundred years. The humble hamburger has taken many forms over the last 100 years in America, but which one was the best? I’ve enlisted myself and my esteemed colleagues to lobby for one of those historical hamburgers. Not only will we be delighting you with fun facts and fanciful flavors, we’ll also be doing a little bit of era appropriate character work, which we are eminently qualified to do. And certainly none of us will break throughout this entire process. I love smoking inside. Yes, you do, god dang it, Lily. I remember everything about you. Which one of these burgers is gonna reign supreme at the end? Find out. In 1945, there were 240 people privy to the world’s first atomic bomb explosion in the New Mexico desert. 239 of them were high ranking government officials, scientists, and military personnel. One of them was a cook named J. E. Miera. His specialty, green chile cheeseburgers. Now I have become Death, destroyer of hamburgers. Next. Now me, you don’t have to worry about me. My name’s Jib. Yes. What was that? Jib. Was that Jib? Yes. Jib? Jib. Jim? No, Jib. I hate Jim. Dust Bowl took out my hatch chile farm in 1935. So I drove down the highway of death to Los Alamos looking for work. Got a job scrubbing toilets for some pencil neck scientists at a place called Los Alamos. But I brought my prized possession, a sack of my favorite chiles. I handed them off to Mr. Miera at the Owl Bar and Cafe. That one. These pencil necked scientists, they’ve been going all around the desert looking for places to explode their big ol’ gizmo. They need something to eat and drink afterwards. They come in a little bit loose lipped, start drinking some beers, start eating some hamburgers, start telling me all about what’s about to go down. I thought it was the end of the world. Fireball in the sky. One day, next slide, that’s it, next slide. One day a dishwasher called out sick, and all these pencil neck scientists needed a little bit of a rush so they’d eat my chilies and get them put on the side. This is a real story. Dishwasher called out sick, someone tried to order hatch chilies on the side, they said why don’t I just put them right on the burger, I said that’s a great idea, my name’s Jib. Dust Bowl took my hatch chile farm 1935, now I’m scrubbing the toilets. Simple! Classic! American. Next. The green chile cheeseburger rises to such popularity that along Route 66, I disagree with it, never should have built a road, stay off my hatch chile farm destroyed by the Dust Bowl in 1935. Now I’m scrubbing toilets. Along Route 66, there are 63 different spots you can get green chile cheeseburgers. They call it the Green Chile Cheeseburger Trail. Next. That’s not hamburger. Thus concludes my hamburger presentation. Now I intend to cook it for y’all. I have no patience for this accent other than Jake Gyllenhaal in Call Me By Your Name. No, what’s the other movie? Yeah, I like that one. Those boys are having fun in the mountains. As I said, Owl Bar 1945 does take credit for it, but also there are records of green chile cheeseburgers going back to the 1920s and 30s. But I’m modeling mine off of the Owl Bar’s, I think this really is the greatest burger in history. And it is primarily because, what did I do with it? This guy right here, this is a hatch chile. This is grown in Hatch, New Mexico. And they’re in season right freaking now. This is like the king of, I think, regional produce in America. It’s such a fantastic product. They range from milder to hotter. You can make green chile cheeseburgers with poblanos, Anaheim chilies, whatever, but like only a proper New Mexico green chile cheeseburger is made with hatch chilies. And I’m pretty grateful that we got those right now. So, we’re gonna get some beef tallow going. And we’re gonna sweat down some onions. Oh shoot, I sweat down some garlic too. I keep floating back into the accent, I forgot what I sound like. Onions and garlic have softened, I add a little salt to help it through. We’re just gonna add a little bit of flour, create like a basic roux. It’s like not a sauce, but it’s like a tight chile slop. I’d call it like prepared green chilies. At the Owl Bar, you can add lettuce, tomato, onion, all that stuff. I don’t even want to do that today. I, to me, like the most pure expression for green chile cheeseburger is green chile, cheeseburger, bun. Boom. I don’t want to get too much color on the flour. I’m gonna add a little bit of stock. Just to sort of deglaze that. I’m gonna add a little bit of vinegar. This isn’t like super traditional, but I do love a little bit of acid with my chilies. I’m gonna dump in all my chilies into that. Hell yes! God, I’m so, how did it take so long on Mythical Kitchen for me to make a freaking green chile cheeseburger? There’s also a debate on whether or not you’re supposed to put the cheese over the chilies or the cheese under the chilies. I love chilies underneath the cheese. That way the steam rise up from the chilies kind of perfumes the cheese. creates a layer of goo. All right, burger going down. Hefty pinch of salt. You want a lot of salt to go with all that fat. A little pepper. We got a simple sesame bun here, nothing artisanal. We’re gonna get some beef tallow down. Let’s save some beef tallow to toast up the bun. All right. Right into the beef tallow. Just get a little bit of a crust on there. Very important because we have so many wets, we need to get a good toast on our dry. Because when you toast the dry, that actually reduces the amount of wet, and so a well toasted bun will actually give you a protective barrier against all of like, that green chile, the steam from the burger. Yeah, that bottom bun is especially important right now. Take a big scoop of that chili. Yes! Yes! God, a thousand times yes! Oh, oh, come on! Oh, look at that. Blanket, we got Monterey Jack. They actually use American at Owl Bar, but I really like Jack cheese in this. You can use Pepper Jack too, but when you got so much good pepper going in there. Bun, done, perfectly toasted, a little bit of char on that. And hey, if you want to learn how to make burgers as delicious as this, hold on, buy the Mythical Cookbook. It’s out wherever you buy books. We got a whole chapter on sandwiches. We got a lot of great burger recipes in here and we also put a lot of hard work in it. Let’s flip open to a random page and show off what we got. Me and Link eating hot peppers. Coincidence, I think not, with the Carolina Reaper barbecue sauce recipe in there. That sauce is good. I’m just saying, buy the book. Oh, it’s so supple. We’re outta here. You got probably a nice medium well cook on that burger and not every burger has to be medium rare. Slide that right onto the bun. Crown it. There is the best burger of the last hundred years. The New Mexico green chile cheese burger. Without the green chile cheeseburger, them pencil neck science boys maybe never created the Atomic Bomb. Now, it’s probably bad for society, but you know what I mean. Modernity stops for no one. Also, I know we wouldn’t have had no Barbenheimer without it. And that’s why the hatch chile cheeseburger is the most important. Best cheeseburger in the world. Tastes really good. Again, my name is Jib. If you have any questions. Yes? Golly, are those chilies spicy? Richard doesn’t like spice. I ain’t know who Richard is, but yes they are spicy people who tell you different, they’re lying! What’s wrong with you? You got a look on your face like you just smelled some pee pee. My mom told me I can’t get my lip pierced. Your mom sucks. I like my burgers like I like my taxidermy. Stuffed. I’m Marcia from Minneapolis, and, the Jucy Lucy is from there. Next, Richard. This is the Jucy Lucy. It has a melty core of cheese, and if you want to get real frisky, you can put blue cheese in there. Next. The Jucy Lucy was invented in 1954. A dreamboat of a man came into Matt’s Bar and said, can I get two burger patties with a slice of cheese in the middle? And then they just called it the Jucy Lucy. How clever. Next, Richard. Oh, so funny. I have a question. Yes. Is this an accent or a speech impediment? A little bit of both and I don’t know what year I’m actually from. You’re very brave. They called it the Jucy Lucy and they’re so damn lazy. They spelled it J-U-C-Y and didn’t even change the sign. Crazy. Next, Richard. Oh, that’s good ol’ Tony Stanton. He got tattoos on his arms, cause he flips 400 burgers a day at Matt’s Bar, and he’s from the future, so I don’t personally know him, but yeah, daddy would be real real mad at me if I got writing like that on my pearly white skin Next, Richard. Oh, a little bird told me once that this speakeasy down the street called the 5 8 Club invented the Jucy Lucy, but those are just rumors. And they actually spell juicy right, but be careful because this hot melty core of cheese might burn your mouth. I’m going to show you how to make it and then I’m going to feed my dear beloved husband Richard. The second most thing I love about my life is making food for Richard, but the first thing is when he boils my cabbage if you know what I mean. So, we have some beautiful 70 30 ground beef here down from the A-N-P and yes, I am gonna stay in character I don’t really know what my character is yet, but, you know, character development. And we’re gonna take this cast iron pan. We’re gonna smoosh this down like this. You can also use this as a little ashtray. Smush it right here. Oh yes, that looks beautiful. So much better than my neighbor Barb’s down the street. She’s putting damn old canned chicken on a plate and calling that dinner. Poor Charles. No one cooks a home cooked meal these days. Okay, this looks great. So, we have some good old American cheese. Oh, I love being an American trad wife. My favorite thing. And we put it in the center here, and then we’ll put this right here. And then we’re gonna crimp, crimp, crimp, crimp the edges inside. We don’t want that cheese oozing out. All right, that’s looking good. We press it in here. We add a little bit of oil. And we’re going to season it with a little bit of salt. Flip it over. Here we go. And then put it on. Oh, do you hear that? That sounds so, so good. Put our buns. I’m not making a burger for myself because Richard doesn’t let me eat with him. I love doing laundry. That’s my favorite. I love when Richard takes his trousers off and bundles them up in a little section of the corner of the house. It gives me like a little scavenger hunt. So fun! No seriously, this is the best burger because you’re using 70 30 ground beef. You can see all that nice fat drippings in there. There’s no like just cheese residue on your griddle, easy kind of cleanup. And then you just plate it. Oh, no, no, no, no. I get my spoon, Richard is gonna be so mad at me if I did it that way. We have some onions that have been buttered and salted, just softened. And then of course some dill pickles to add some acidity. And then we are gonna top it with our beautiful, Jucy Lucy burger patty. You can see some of the cheese is starting to ooze out, which is why it’s important to crimp the edges around. And then we top it right there, but we’re not gonna, we’re not gonna stop there. We’re gonna cut into it and just reveal it. I’ll go this way. Oh yeah, this is gonna be so good. And then you can kind of just see the cheese inside there. And this is your Jucy Lucy. I love this burger because I love my meat stuffed. The cheese is so melty and gooey and it tastes so, so good. Any questions? I have a question. Yes. If you’re from the future, you’re telling me that the gizmo them boys are working on didn’t destroy the whole world? I don’t know anything you just said with that toothpick in your mouth. What’s it like to be in a loving relationship? Oh, I don’t know. Me and Richard, we, we eat in silence. We don’t, we don’t speak much. Hi guys, my name is Nikki Narcotics, spelled the way you think it is, and I’m going to talk about the best burger that’s ever been made. In 2009, a lot of great things happened. Obama was the president, and there were Myspace top eights, and also this, the Umami Burger. It’s really freaking delicious, and I love it a lot. The reason why it’s so good is, next slide, his guy named Adam Fleischman made it. He was a screenwriter that also opened a wine bar, and in 2009, he was like, I guess I’ll open a burger spot. He made his burger by going to a place called Mitsuwa Marketplace and getting a bunch of things that had a bunch of umami in it, like miso, and fish sauce, and soy, and cheese. And apparently he made this burger all in one day. Next. Yeah, like I said, umami. It’s like, on your tongue or whatever. Although he says he doesn’t use MSG in any of his products, and he just uses natural sources of umami. He puts a lot of umami stuff on it. The burger’s really complicated. He puts like umami dust and an umami master sauce and an umami finishing spray and he makes his own umami ketchup and he like makes an Umami Burger out of like certain kinds of meat that are really good and he just puts it on top of each other. Next. She’s really enjoying it. I wonder what it’s like to enjoy things. I have no idea. In 2011, it got acquired by SBE, shout out to the Nazarians. And quality started declining really dramatically. Next slide. Yeah, he had a lot of money. He’s like, yo, let me acquire your business. And then Adam was like, cool, yeah, bet. And then they opened like 25 stores and a bunch in like Illinois and Japan and places like that. Next. And even Andy Samberg ate it with that guy, Jimmy Fallon. Jaden Smith also had a collab and so did Mindy Kaling. Wow. I love The Office. Next. Yeah, this is his flagship store opened in 2009 in La Brea. Next. Sorry. You can see this is their classic Umami Burger. It has like a brand on it. I’m really into that. And like, crispy cheese. I think this is the best burger that’s ever been invented because, I mean, it’s really delicious. You’re gonna find out soon when I make it for you guys. Do you guys like my hair? Since my mom said I couldn’t get my eyebrow pierced, she said I can get more extensions. I know it’s really colorful, but I think I look cute. God, it’s so hard to be miserable all the time. How did they do, how did scene kids and, like, emo kids, like, deal with that kind of, like, sadness all the time? I used to be, like, pseudo emo, and God, what a process that was. Well, let me pull up my sleeves to show you my other sleeves. I’m gonna show you guys how to make the Umami Burger. So the reason why I think this burger is so damn delicious is I think it’s the apex of flavor. It’s literally the most convoluted, silly, most extra burger of all time, and I don’t think any flavor has ever been so like intense before. It’s literally the mountaintop of burger flavor. And I think it’s pretty damn good. You know? As someone who’s a little extra, this is a burger that’s also extra. So yeah, let me just, this is going to be a fire hazard, so I’m just going to take that out. So we’re going to start making our umami master sauce. We’re going to start with some honey. Some dark soy, lots of dark soy. Mushroom bouillon powder, which is so delicious. So good, oh my god. And then some, some gorgeous miso. We’re using shiro miso. Star anise, some kombu. This is truffle oil. We got some cayenne pepper. And then in here is tamari. We’re just gonna cook this down for hours, and I mean hours, until it turns into like this pasty, gorgeous, squeezable substance that’s gonna add a lot of flavor to our burger. Great! So now, we’re going on to the next step, and this is umami ketchup. We’re starting with some already pre-made ketchup, because he says that he made his own ketchup, but again, I don’t believe the guy. We’re gonna add some truffle salt, lots of brown sugar, and then, hey, who, who, who took my toothpaste? Get it? Because it looks like toothpaste. It’s just anchovy paste. So we’re just gonna, guys, I thought that was funny. Don’t make me sad again. So we’re gonna take some anchovy paste and just put it in there. Wow. That’s really great. It’s not funny. I actually have a poem that I wanted to recite if that’s okay with you guys. It’s called Lonelines. Spelled with one S. The darkness has consumed me. The darkness is no longer light. I can no longer hold on. I don’t want to fight. Taking the time to love you too is a burden too much to bear. Farewell. Did you guys like that? Thanks. So we’re gonna make the umami dust here now. So we got some mushroom powder, some dehydrated soy sauce powder, very very cool ingredient I must say, star anise, garlic powder, and white pepper, and then here is a sheet of kombu that I’m going to grind up right in here. I’ve never grinded kombu before so this is an experience for all of us. Okay. Okay, let it rip! I refuse to believe Rome was built in a day, which is why I refuse to believe that the umami burger was built in a day. So, we have the finishing spray, sorry, where did my nest of hair go? Is that gone now? Okay, whatever. So we have an umami finishing spray in here, and it’s, stock, a sachet of bonito flakes, oyster sauce. And. Some shiitake mushrooms, dehydrated. Sorry, let me just look more presentable. Okay, great. So I’m just gonna put this in through here. Look at that. I just wanted to have something fun to do on camera, you know? All this, what’s it called? “An-u-ee”? “N-u-i”? “An-u-i”? what’s that, what’s that character in the new? Ennui. Ennui. All this ennui that I’m, you know, projecting, honestly, harshing my vibe. It’s hard. So, look at this thing. This is fun. Imagine like going to like a party and instead of like vodka being in it, in like those, like, guns, it was umami finishing spray. Yum! So, we have our griddle getting nice and hot and steamy. And here we have our gorgeous burger cut from premium steaks. Gonna put some umami dust on there and I’m just gonna thwap it on there. Are you ready for the thwap? 1, 2, 3, thwap! So we’re just gonna let this cook up. When I was a young cook. Okay. So our burger, it looks just stunning, gorgeous. Wow. So we’re going to start assembling. We got our umami ketchup going down here. Oh, my God. Before I, wait, I’m going to do this. Hold on. You guys are going to see the cutest thing of all time right now. So, I’m going to get a little bit of umami ketchup. We’re going to “shwap” this burger on there. Very nice. Wow, still gorgeous. Still steamy. A little bit more umami dust going on there. Just, just, just a faint, a faint. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We’re going to put some umami master sauce on there. Just a little bit, just a poquito to let you know it’s there. Okay. And then we’re going to add our onions right on there. Gorgeous caramelized onions. I’m just loving that. A single frico. A single mater. And then a mushroom, just on the side like that. Like for some reason, very odd. But, I’m not knocking it. And then a little bit more umami ketchup. And then are you ready for the cutest thing you’ve ever seen of all time? And it’s, that’s saying a lot because Lily’s been on screen. One, two, three. It says MK on it! It’s printed! So that’s the Umami Burger, and I think it’s really good, but if you don’t, it’s like not a big deal. Like it’s, it’s not a problem. Do you guys have any questions? Your hair is green because of the nuclear fallout from a post-apocalyptic scorched Earth future? No. It’s called scene hair. Speaking of umami, do you love your mommy? My oldest tells me he hates me every day. Alright, a sad girl and a I don’t know, TikToker with a really upsetting fan base and politics make me very uncomfortable. We gotta judge our burgers. We are all going to taste each other’s burgers. We cannot vote for our own, but then we are going to score them on both historicity as well as taste. You ready for it? Yeah. Let’s do it. I’m at Burger King with my burger queen. Don’t do that, I can’t do this. Here, eat mine. It’s so wet. Thank you. Okay. Give me some. You got to cut it from the back. That makes me so happy. Got to cut it from the back. Oh my god. That is really good. 10 out of 10. Josh wins. That’s the best thing I’ve ever had. I’m gonna eat my worker. Be careful. It’s probably hot. Can we cut it in half? Let’s cut it in half. Oh my gosh. Okay. Cut it in half. I’m doing it. Nothing can beat that, dude. God dang, it’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten. That’s so good. Let’s check it out, we got ooze. We got so much ooze. That looks good too. It’s for Richard. Yeah, I want a little bit. That’s really good. Historically I haven’t like loved Jucy Lucy’s because I want the cheese on the burger and I want to get a proper cooking burger but that’s like, God that’s really good. I’m really excited about this one. Eat it. Nicole there’s a lot of stuff that went in there. Yeah. A lot of stuff. That’s the fun part. Tastes like star anise. Do you like that? It’s not bad. I’m like transported back to like an upscaled mall in 2011. Those were the best times I feel like. I kinda hate it. I kinda resent this now. You know what I mean? I don’t hate it. If I want a burger I don’t want that though. This does taste like the original Umami Burger but it’s, I’m sorry, no, you’re gonna keep brooding. It tastes like the original Umami Burger, but there’s so many like obstructive flavor, you taste the mushroom, like that’s umami, and cheese, like cheese is umami. Let me eat it! Can I go back into character for one second? Yeah, go for it. Richard still isn’t home, because he’s probably still at the office, because he’s having an affair with his assistant, which jokes on him. I screw the milkman every Monday. Big pieces of my skin have been falling off and I can’t figure out why. You guys are weird. Meggie has tabulated the scores. I have them. Do you want to know them? Oh, yeah. In third, with a score of 13 out of 20 points, Nicole’s burger. Pretty bad. In second and first place, it’s very close, second place, score of 15 out of 20. First place, with a perfect score of 20 out of 20, that means that in first place, we have Josh’s burger! Let’s go! All the work was not done in vain. Those pencil neck science boys down there, they were just following orders from Matt Damon. Matt Damon down there telling them that the Russians was gonna have it anyways. Looking back through history, retrospective is a 20/20 vision. But, at the time all we had was beers, a lot of uranium and green chile cheeseburgers. I’m gonna make that for my Richard. He’s gonna like that. I love being Richard’s wife. The Mythical Cookbook is finally here. Order your copy now at mythicalcookbook.com and make any kitchen a Mythical Kitchen.