Welcome everyone to Trevor Talks Too Much, the show where I put my gift of gab to the test, and I give you all a look into my sick and twisted mind. No, it’s not actually sick and twisted. I’m your host, Trevor Evarts, master baker, mythical soft boy. I drove a Lamborghini once. That’s pretty cool. That’s one of my claims to fame, and there are many. Today is a special bonus episode. So this isn’t a full normal episode of the show. I just wanted to share a few of the funny and more outrageous moments of the show handpicked by myself and Jamie. We just wanna put together a little compilation, some funny moments. I’ve had a great time making friends on the show, having some really funny laughs. I’ve cackled a lot. I’ve stood up a few times. I’ve gotten a little bit rowdy and rambunctious, but it’s been really fun. And so, Jamie and I pulled some of our favorite moments and we put ’em together into a little reel for you while we have this little break. So please do enjoy. I don’t blink the whole time I’m arm wrestling someone because eventually I penetrate that cornea. Eventually I penetrate the soul. Do you wanna arm wrestle? No! It’s not the first time I’ve done it. I’m not strong enough. You arms are really big. They’re really big. Is that gonna become a new thing on the show? You’re not the first person I’ve arm wrestled on the show, so let me. Okay. Let’s do it. I mean, I’m gonna lose for it. You gotta move your laptop, Trevor. I gotta move my laptop? Yeah, we gotta see the action. Right off the bat, I’m gonna tell you, I’ve got hyperhidrosis. I’ve got hyperhidrosis. You feel that moisture? You feel that? Yeah. You like that? Yeah, slippery. Yeah, yeah. My hands are clammy right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like this? Yeah. I’m gonna call it out. All right, ready? Three, two, one, go. Ooh. Ahh. You’re wearing me down! It’s a war of attrition! I don’t care about you or your family. Oh my gosh. Oh no! He’s huge. That was intense, guys. My whole arm is tingling. There’s an instrument in my pocket. Okay. Kazoo. Oh my Gosh! He freaking smurfed it. He freaking smurfed it. He needed one clue. It’s gonna be so warm ’cause it’s just been, just in my grundle for like the last nine minutes, but it’s packaged so you wanna play a little diddy? And you get to keep it. Actually I’m really good at this. I haven’t done this like, since high school. Wait. Okay. Wait. Ah, does it work anymore? This is a musical genius. Now moan. What? British culture is so beautiful. I love it. I was actually worried ’cause I know that you do a phenomenal British accent. Like, it’s so good. I like yours too, babe. Like yours is fantastic, innit? Well, I was like, ’cause I do an okay British accent, I think. Like, I feel like there’s three tiers. There’s like the tier of like, really bad where it’s just like so terrible that it’s funny. And then there’s the middle tier where it’s like, you’re kinda good, but also you probably couldn’t really pass for a British person. And then there’s the really good tier where it’s like, if you were there, they would just think that you lived there. Well that’s what we think. Like, I’ve thought that myself and the last time I was in London, I did it. I was like, I’m gonna go order a cornish pasty. You know, I was like, get one of them, one of them, thank you very much for that. Then I was like, I’m gonna do that. And I was with my British friend and I did it and he was like, that was awful. And I was like, I thought I sounded pretty good. And he was like, no, no, no. They were laughing at you. I was like, dammit. But here, like Americans are like, that’s the smartest thing I’ve ever heard. It’s like you do any accent and they’re like, hell you could’ve fooled me! You could’ve fooled me! I mean, hey, I’m down to just do freaking silly voices for the next 30 minutes. I’ve managed to make a career out of doing that, so you and I both. Hey, I mean, it is pretty impressive. I’ve managed to make a career out of just, yeah, being an idiot. So, you know, I went to culinary school and I worked in like a really nice French bakery for like, a year and now I just act stupid all day. But were you happy? I was for a little bit and then I wasn’t because I was making no money. That’s the thing. You chase your passion and you accept being broke. Yeah. It’s true. Sometimes you have to act like a little bit of an idiot to chase the bag. Sometimes you have to dance like a little clown fool. Yes. Boo boo the fool. Do a dance, joke boy. Make another joke. Tell us a joke! We, the prose. We, the prose, telling the jokes to earn a coin for a loaf of bread. Please, sir. Oy, mister Evarts. Please, please, mister. Could you please spare me a shill? Spare me a loaf of bread. Well I’m eatin’. I loves me mum and dad. Oy, that’s me mum and dad in the wall. Could you spare me a loaf. Jamie’s laughing over there in the corner so I think this is entertaining to someone. I hope so. You know that is the true testament. Can you make the crew laugh? My favorite Star Wars movie. Excuse me. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I felt it coming. I was hoping it was gonna silent. I’m the worst! You know, maybe that was like a sign. Maybe I shouldn’t have said what I was gonna say. No, no. You gotta say it now. I’m so sorry. I’m the worst podcaster ever. My favorite Star Wars movie, controversially and I accept this, is the Phantom Menace, episode one, and hear me out, hear me out. You know how boring the trade federation timeline is? Like, I get that. That’s like my favorite part of it all. And hear me out. You get world building, cool aliens, and you get Darth Maul. Like that, you get like a lightsaber. Okay, the lightsaber fight at the end was very like, fundamental to my like, growing up. So the Phantom Menace is my favorite. Okay. I do like the sequels? Question mark. No. I feel like that’s most people. It’s like, I like the sequels question mark. Objectively, the original Star Wars movies are bad movies. They’re not good. They’re not great. They’re very- It’s a space Western. It’s just, it’s mediocre acting and it’s like, people love them because of the nostalgia and because they’re the originals and like, oh my God, how did they have such great CGI in the 1300s? I’m like, those asteroids are potatoes. I’m like, we all know that, right? They’re not good movies, but I still love them. You have or had in the past a Chipotle burrito named after you. Oh, yeah. Yeah? Chipotle burrito. Yeah. I used to have a little Chipotle burrito that you’re able to order on the Chipotle app. What was in it? ‘Cause I’m a big Chipotle fan and this is why I wanna talk about it ’cause I’m very particular about my Chipotle burritos or bowls. So what was the reasoning behind your Chipotle burrito? Okay, so like, break down the innards? Yeah. Break down. Break it down for me. Okay. Well one, I was the unhealthy degenerate. Okay. And that is needed information because my burrito was like, a triple dairy. So okay, so it was like chicken, double chicken burrito with cheese, sour cream, and queso, corn, the corn salsa, and I think that was literally it. Like, that was my burrito. Oh my gosh, the heart disease burrito at Chipotle, brought to you by Myth. Yeah. It was heart disease and people loved it. They sold so many of those burritos, I think. I think I was told before that it was great. Oh, man. Yeah, yeah. Looking back on it, I was like, I gave people a 1,500 calorie burrito and slapped my name on it. To actually add a challenge to this podcast. Okay. So I am trying to be more family friendly, Okay. For money reasons, not for myself. I’m gonna try to not curse the rest of the podcast. Like, I’m gonna be like, frick or like, Yeah. Words like that. If I curse, you can either pinch me like, you know the sore area here or, what’s something else? What’s something else? You have to give me a dollar every time you swear. That’s not good for many reasons. You know what? You don’t actually have to give me a dollar. That was a- No. A joke? You know, I’m not gonna give you a dollar because I don’t need to. But here’s the first one for if I curse. Don’t take it. I’m not gonna take it! But if I curse, you take it. Yeah. You know, I’ve realized how behind Ireland is since I’ve moved to LA. I only moved here in December. We don’t have Uber. You don’t have Uber? Well in my village, I guess it depends. In Dublin, they have Uber because it’s like the capital tour spa. Yeah. But where I lived, my little village, we didn’t have Uber and I’m like, damn, America is kind of ahead. Yeah. Except on the healthcare. You guys are really up there. Let me just crinkle this dollar into the mic for those of you listening. That’s my dollar. I was doing so good, too! No, no, no, no, no. No, no. Another one. I’m gonna make a deal with you. I’m gonna leave this here. No, no, no. I’m gonna keep going ’cause otherwise it won’t stop and I’m literally trying to learn. Well no, I was gonna say, I’m gonna leave this here and if you don’t swear, you can have the dollar back. No, because that’s already yours ’cause I’ve lost. So now it’s a 20, so I upped it. Just so I’d up it. Trevor’s making a little money. There’s the trollers and then the people who just wanna try like, enjoy the game. I’m the troller. Oh my God. I’ll get like, 200 strokes just trying to hit other people’s balls. Oh my God! And then you like, it ruins the whole self and it’s like. I’m so angry with you and I’ve not even played the game with you. Like I’m like- No, we won’t play it. No, I’m literally turning my chair around for the next like, whatever next topic we talk about ’cause you’ve pissed me off. Why would you troll in Golf for Friends when you’re trying to- Just get a tee or a pulley or a . That’s all I had to do. That’s a crisp 20. Oh baby, I’m making money. I’m making money. That’s 21 buckeroos. Actually, you know what? I’m gonna leave a gift card on the table ’cause this is a present. Of what? None of your damn business unless I curse. Does damn count? No. Absolutely not, Trevor. Okay, I was just curious. I was just curious. Thank you, governor. Thank you, Jamie. Where is Waldo versus where is Larry? You answered two, what the ? Well, I don’t know. I went to Ireland when I was like, 10. I wasn’t gonna say anything. No, if you didn’t know, no. You can only get it if you noticed. I noticed! You noticed as I tried to slide it away. Well, that’s your fault. Where’s Waldo versus where’s Larry. Who the is Larry? God damn it! I know for a fact you didn’t, enjoy your hair care. Enjoy your bloody hair care. You know what, actually? No. You keep it the 20, you give it to Jamie. Jamie deserves it. It says Drybar, premium hair care created for the perfect blow out. Yeah. Yeah. I’m getting a blow out. Why are you scared of frogs? Oh, okay. For research. Okay. So let’s say somewhere deep in like, the Amazon rainforest, they are growing teeth. Imagine teeth, teeth, teeth. Imagine frogs have teeth. Okay. They’re much scarier now, aren’t they? Put that image in your head. I want you to close your eyes and think about it, frogs. Okay. All right. Frogs have teeth. Teeth. Sharp teeth. What kind of teeth? ‘Cause okay, ’cause I was imagining a frog with like, human teeth and it was pretty funny. No. No, no, no. Not little squares. I mean like, triangles, like, Triangles. They’re sharp, right? Triangle teeth. Kinda pointed inwards. Yeah. If it bit you like, you couldn’t pull it off. So you’re scared of frogs that don’t exist. How do you know a frog doesn’t have teeth until it bites you? You ever been bitten by a frog. It’s scary! It’s scary. Yeah. They just have little cute mouths. No, but they’re mean, they’re aggressive. Why are they mean? They just hang out. Imagine if you were their size. Okay. They would eat you. If I was a bug. They eat bugs. I’m not understanding the like, I feel like there’s better things to be afraid of. There are. You’re not wrong, but they’re super aggressive, okay? Their anatomy just confuses me. Like, how does their mouth work? It opens. Why do they puff up? Why do they yell? They’re so loud. They’re so loud. If you were that small, it would be ear piercing and like, terrifying. It would be terrifying. Okay, but you’re not that small. You’re like a human size. I know I’m not that small but. Do you think you still couldn’t take a frog in a fight? Maybe I should, you know, try and find out sometime. Okay, would you rather fight one horse sized frog, No, well that’s the thing. It’ll eat me. It would just eat me. Or a hundred frog sized horses? Hundred frog sized horses. They don’t even have- They have teeth! They’re not built for that. They have teeth. Frogs are small. A horse sized frog, it would eat me instantly. But you’re not a bug. Frogs just sit around and they croak and they eat bugs. But how does it know I’m not a bug? It doesn’t know anything. It can’t even see in front of itself. The problem is there’s only so many like, discontinued fast foods that would actually be like, fun to recreate. ‘ Cause there’s a reason a lot of ’em were discontinued because the food items sucked. Yeah and also a thing that people don’t realize about producing cooking shows is like, so many people were like, I’m trying to think of a good example. They’d be like, recreate the fruit and yogurt parfait. And it’s like, that would just be us putting yogurt and fruit in a cup. Yeah. Dude like, what do you mean recreate fruit? Like, you have to find the right things. Like the Arch Deluxe had some Dijon black pepper corn, steakhouse sauce that we can at least like make a meal out of and we can go into what it was probably like and how we can cook it. But it’s like when people, I’m not gonna just start complaining about fans. That’s not what it is, but I’m gonna absolutely do it. It’s like when you get people DM’ing you on Instagram that are like, tell Rhett and Link to do will it apple. I’m like, what does that mean to you? What do you mean, will it apple? There’s one thing that will apple. It’s called an apple. It doesn’t exist. Okay like, I always wanna like, sit down with these people and just be like, game theory, game theory. Philly cheese steak, will it apple, what does that mean to you? Yeah. What does that mean to you? Tell me. You put it in the shape of an apple. Yeah. So there’s a lot of unseen difficulties to actually making the content that people like, don’t see. Yeah. Right? You gotta fill time with something to actually cook. Yeah. Which I mean, you know, they’re people. They don’t make the food. Oh yeah, dude. I’m sure there’s been so many times when I’ve watched a YouTube video and I’m like, why didn’t they just do this, this way? I do that with everything. Everything, yeah. I do that like, why doesn’t my cell phone work? And then if somebody actually asks me, why does your cell phone work, tell me, I’d be like, well, I think it’s like a spaceship, right? And then there’s like rays. Just like a signal and it goes up and then it goes back down to the other person. I literally don’t know how anything works. No, I don’t know how anything works either, At an ATM like, where does the money come from? I don’t know. Is it just always there? Where does the money come from? Like how much money is in there? Somebody’s gotta like, go in there and get it out, right? This is a little part of the show I like to call Who Ever Smelt It. And Maya, I need to know, I need to know, the people need to know, what is the most embarrassing place in public that you have ever accidentally let one rip? Okay. So it wasn’t on accident and I dunno if anybody smelled it. Intentional rip. So nobody knows that I dealt it at least to my knowledge. Okay. It was on stage at Outside Lands. Was it audible? No. I made sure my mic was very far away from anything that could possibly be done. I was like, okay. I, as we’ve mentioned, Yeah. I am lactose intolerant. Yeah, yeah. I am an IBS warrior. Yeah. I am like, somebody who has a very sensitive gastrointestinal system. So, you know, sometimes you gotta let one loose. And I was in the middle of seeing a song and I was like, damn, I really got a fart right now. Maya is a farter. You heard it here first. I waited. I waited for a loud moment in my set for my drummer to be like, doing his solo. Yeah. And I let it pass and I had my moment and I was like, nobody’s gonna know. How would they know? But now they know. Well I mean, that’s arguably the best place to do it, loud music on stage, yeah. It was like out in the open. ‘Cause there’s plausible deniability there. If anyone were to smell it, there’s like, there’s no way that came from the stage. She would never fart on stage. I’m gonna use my Among Us skills to gaslight those people into knowing that it was not me. Oh, I’ve got something that I wanna play, a little game that I like to play on the show, called What’s In My Pocket. Okay. I mean, it’s actually not in my pocket ’cause I forgot to put it in my pocket but it’s down below me and it fits in my pocket. Don’t look. Don’t look. Okay. Why did I look too good? Yeah, you cheater. Freaking cheater. Okay. So I’m gonna give you three hints. It’s something that fits in my pocket, Okay. And you get three guesses to guess what it is and who knows? Maybe I’ll give you some extra guesses. I want you to get it. It’s pretty fun. But it’s a random thing. Do I get like, hints? Yeah. I’m gonna give you three hints. Okay. And, you know, I’ll help you along if you’re not getting there. But here are the three hints. Here are the three hints. Okay. It goes in your bathroom, it will help you see at night, and it needs batteries, and you get three guesses. You threw me off with the batteries. Yeah. Damn. Hm, okay. It goes in the bathroom. More specifically, it goes near your toilet. Oh, goes in the bathroom, like a nightlight? Oh, on the right track. On the right track. Okay. But where does the nightlight go? I feel like this is a mind game. It is. It is a mind game. What lights up in the bathroom? Why do you have a light in your bathroom? White people are so weird. Who’s the one? Sorry, this was racially motivated. Yeah like, what’s going on? It’s okay. I’m gonna give it to you. Wait, no, no. Give me another hint. I’m gonna figure this out. I’m gonna figure this out. Okay, it lights up, it goes in my bathroom and eats batteries. Yes. A dildo? Like, what could it be? No, it hangs, it hangs. It hangs. It hangs on something. Yeah. So it like, clips onto something and it lights up a certain thing in your bathroom. Oh Trevor, you’re crazy. I know what it is. Is it a bong? No, what? I don’t smoke weed, Trevor. What? No bong needs batteries. Okay, well I don’t know. What is it? Just tell me. It’s a toilet light. No one uses that in real life. It hangs in your toilet and it lights up your toilet bowl. I’ve never seen one of these a day in my life. Wait. I hadn’t either. Is this out of your toilet? No, it was freshly outta the package. I hadn’t heard about it too until Jamie told me about it so you can thank Jamie. Thank you, Jamie. It has 16 different lights you can choose from and a motion sensor. It has its dimmer setting. Yeah. This is the coolest thing like, I can have this? So yeah like, in the middle of the night, I love it here. Instead of like turning the lights on, My toilet’s lit up. And you’re good. Yeah, and then it makes your toilet bowl colorful. Oh my God, and then my poop is like having a rave. It’s like a rave in your bathroom. Yeah. My poop was at EDC. What’s your favorite sea shanty? Oh, I mean. Let me hit the switch up. Woo, let’s go. I mean, obviously it’s the Billy of Tea. Come on now, the one that started the whole thing? The Wellerman? The Wellerman. That’s what it is. Yes. Yeah. I knew I was like, ah. Okay, I’m a bit of a sea shanty hipster. I hadn’t knew that this was the follow up. I was like, he didn’t ask that because he didn’t have like, a thing ready to go. No. Let’s hear it. No, no, let’s hear it. Let’s hear it. No, I love sea shanties and I think that they should be more popular, but I remember like, listening to sea shanties and I remember when Wellerman got popular. I was like, y’all just found out about the Longest Johns? Y’all just found out about the Longest Johns. I’ve been listening to the Longest Johns for ages. They make great music. What a thing to be. Just like, a dumb thing to be a hipster about. Like, oh, oh, I’ve been listening to sea shanties forever. Yeah, since the 1600s. I knew the sea shanty way before you did, bro. My great, great grandfather was singing it on the deck of the Wellerman. Bro, you don’t even know crap about sea shanties, dude. When the ship, they’re put to sea and the name of the ship went to Billy of Tea, my great, great, great, granduncle, on it. He was the ship. No, no. True story. Nevermind. Yeah. You play any Sea of Thieves? Sea of Thieves is one of those games. See if these nuts fit in your mouth. That did not just happen to me. You really are an intern, aren’t you? Oh my God. I’m so pissed. Oh my God, I got him. Oh, I can’t believe that just happened to me. Oh no. Oh my God, I’m so good. Wow. What a treat that was. Classic Trevor, am I right? This guy, this guy right here. Make sure to check out any episodes you may have missed over on Apple or Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts, or the video versions on YouTube. But thank you so much for listening and as always, I appreciate your support, and have a lovely day, as always. Bye.