But, it’s like somehow simultaneously just a cesspool of freaks, and then also one of the easiest places to just get like a straight answer for something. Welcome one and all to “Trevor Talks Too Much”. The show… The show where I keep on talking, and yabadabadoo my way through life. I’m your host, Trevor Evarts, master baker, Mythical soft boy, completer of the Sinnoh Regional Pokedex, and the National Pokedex in “Pokemon: Brilliant Diamond,” one of my crowning achievements, truly. I’m gonna be going through some pretty common situations, I feel like, and talking about my feelings on whether or not it’s understandable, or if it’s just like rude and you shouldn’t do it. Not that my opinion means anything, but I’m gonna give it anyway, ’cause that’s what I’ve been doing for like the last year on this show, so. People value it. Yeah, you think so? I think so. Jamie, I’m so tired. So, for all of you listening right now, you’re probably thinking, “Wow, Trevor sounds so much sexier right now,” and thank you, I know. Normally when we record this show, we do it like in the afternoon or noon-ish. I think this is the earliest that we’ve ever recorded. Ever, ever, ever. Yeah, and it’s like I haven’t even put coffee in my body yet. I’m just fresh outta bed, just rolling in, just plopped myself right down in front of this mic, and I’m fighting for my life right now. So, excuse my tired voice. Your sweater’s making your eyes pop though. Really? Yeah. That’s huge, it’s Fanhouse. Yeah, so here’s the situation, everybody. What had happened was is that I’m going on a trip tomorrow, today, I’m going on a trip today, and I went out last night after work, and ended up not coming home until like midnight, even though I knew that I needed to do laundry before this trip, and it’s also a longer trip. So, I had to do like a lot of laundry, ’cause I hadn’t done it in a while, so I ended up just being up very late doing laundry, ’cause I wasn’t responsible with my time, which is on me. So it’s my fault, and I’m taking all the blame for this, but it’s gonna be a good day. I already feel it in my bones, in my bone juice. My bone broth, inside bone broth. I was reading through these, and I feel like I’ve been in every single one. It’s interesting to see when you’re reading through stuff, or when people tell you a story and you think everyone’s gonna side with you, you’re like, “Oh yeah, without a doubt, this is how everyone should feel about the situation.” Yeah. And then you hear other people’s takes, and you’re like, “Oh, man.” No, yeah, I do that all the time. I realized I have no opinion of my own, like. I don’t think that’s true. I feel like we don’t always agree on stuff. I like when we disagree. No, well I was gonna continue, but then I took a sip of water. And then you gave me a leeway to- I know, I gave you an in to just be like, “You suck, Trevor. You do have opinions, and they suck.” No, I find myself reading like a lot of like, Am I The posts on Reddit, and I just, they’re funny. They’re funny. I don’t care how many of them are fake, they’re funny. But I’ll read through one and I’ll be like, “I don’t know, and I don’t wanna formulate an opinion,” and then I’ll go and read people’s opinions and I’m like, “They’re making some good points. I think I agree. I think I agree with a Reddit user. BigChungusMommy69.” Yeah. I don’t even know, that’s probably a person. I would say Reddit is a crazy place, because it’s like one of the most anonymous sites that you can have, like profiles that you can have. Most people have no idea who you are, what you look like. Also, a lot of people, especially when they’re posting on these like advice forums are using throwaway accounts, ’cause they’re like, “I don’t want this to get linked back to me.” Yeah. And I always thought like, have you ever, I’ve never shared my Reddit username with anybody. No, I think some people do though. I think some people are like- They do, and I’m like, I don’t get that. Reddit is like somehow simultaneously, like, just one of the worst places on the internet. Like, just really cesspool of like, weirdos. I think because of the anonymity. Yeah. Did I say that right? Anonymity. Anonymity? Anonymity. Anonymity. Anonymity, there we go, okay. Anonymity. But it’s like, somehow simultaneously, just a cesspool of freaks, and then also one of the easiest places to just get like a straight answer for something. If you need help, the amount of times that I have Googled something and it’s like, ah, I probably need to go to Reddit for this. And then it’s just the answer’s there, clear and concise, like. And I’m like, ah, I had to go to Reddit though, and it makes me feel dirty. I don’t like Reddit. But, I thought we could start with smaller situations, like recurring themes that I have seen, not just on the internet, but in life. Yeah. And I figured we’d start with your opinion, and then see if I agree with you or not. Jamie, you run this show, I’ll do whatever you tell me to do. All right. Is this gonna be “Jamie Talks Too Much” today? Yes, oh my god, give me a break. that sounded great. I’m gonna edit the sign in the video. It’s gonna put my name on it, anyways. So, the first one, which I already think I already know, flaking on plans. Does that make you selfish, or is it understandable? Well, you wrote a little line here next to it. I did, so, it’s like the only reason why you’re not going to this plan anymore is because your mindset has changed from when you made the plan to now, you’re like, “Man, I’m tired.” Yeah. “I will be not fun if I go out.” Yeah. Like, a lot of people still think, “Well, you made the plans, you need to commit.” Yeah, no. No, never. You don’t have to commit to anything. That’s the thing. I mean, unless it was something like, I don’t know, ’cause every story’s gonna be different, and there’s gonna be nuances in every situation. But like, when I hear this, it’s like you had plans like go out, hang out with some friends or do something, and you’re not feeling like in the right head space. If it’s like a wedding or like a funeral, or some like a bigger event, like then yeah, you should go, you should probably like buck up, ’cause it’s an important thing. But if you’re like hanging out with friends, you don’t have to do anything. No. No one, here’s the thing, nobody’s entitled to your time. Your time is completely yours, and I have done this before a lot, because it took me a long time to figure out how to just like say “No, I don’t want to go,” without having to like feel like I had to come up with an excuse, but you don’t have to have an excuse. If the excuse is that you’re just not feeling up to it, then that’s completely okay, and nobody knows you better than you. And if you feel like you’re going to put yourself in an uncomfortable position mentally or emotionally by going out, or if you feel like you are gonna not be fun, and I mean, that’s not to say that going out while you’re in that head space still can’t be fun. Yeah. ‘Cause like, I’ve had times where I made plans, time came for me to follow through on those plans, and I was like, “I am not feeling this at all.” And then I was like, I’m gonna go out anyway like, and then I’ll go out and I’ll end up having a good time, and having fun, which is great, but you don’t ever have to have an excuse to flake. Yeah, I- And if your friends are good friends, then they’ll understand that. Yeah, and I feel like this is something that most of the time has come with age too, ’cause I have friends that are younger that will get a little bit more upset. They’ll be like, “Oh, man.” And I get it, if it’s like 20 minutes before, and I’m like, “Yo, I can’t make it,” and that person’s already on the way to wherever we were going, then I do get being miffed about that. Yeah. But if I text them, and I’m like, “Look, I know we had plans today, but I’m so tired, I’m not feeling it,” da-da-da, that should be enough. Yeah. But I feel like younger friends, sometimes they’ll be like, “Oh no, like let’s still go out,” or they’ll get a little miffed. But, I have a friend- Miffed. Yeah. Is that not a word people use? I don’t know. You’re the first person I’ve heard use it in probably a long time. But, I do have one friend. We keep flaking on each other, but we’re both cool with it. Yeah. It’s just our schedules aren’t matching up. It’s not working out. Yeah. Still love her. But… No, I get that, that like freaking war of attrition where you’re trying to hang out with someone or a couple people, and it’s like, you set something up, you set a date or something, then it ends up not working out for one person, and then someone’s outta town, and then someone else has like a busy week, and then another person’s outta town, and it’s like, you’ve just been sending just a few texts a week in a group chat trying to get these plans straight, and it’s just been like a month and a half, that’s the greatest. Yeah. I love that. Yeah, it’s- Because you feel like you’re doing the right thing, you’re like, “I’m trying, I’m trying to make plans.” Yeah. But it’s just not working. The effort, the effort is visible, and you can see it. Yeah. Now, counter to this, have you ever had someone, or have you ever canceled plans with someone because you found a better deal? Yeah. So, thoughts on that one? ‘Cause I feel like sometimes it’s like, “Oh man, I really didn’t wanna do this in the first place, but I said okay to it, but then my friend invited me to this thing that I really wanna do.” Yeah. No, I get that. I think it’s reasonable and understandable. Again, it all depends on the situation. Like if you, I don’t know, like if you were meeting a friend that you hadn’t seen in ages and you were gonna go get dinner together, and it was like an important thing for both of you, and it was like a one-on-one thing, and then you flake to go to a party. Like, that’s probably a little bit scummy. But again, I firmly believe that nobody is entitled to your time, and what you do with your time is okay, but also it does matter how you treat people, and then treat people that you care about. I mean, I did that recently. I was like… And yeah, it depends on the plans too that you flake on. Yeah. I was just gonna go over to some friends’ house, and just sit with them, and like watch movies or something. Yeah. Just like hang out, have a chill night, and… Like, that’s fun, but then I ended up getting invited to like this big party, and I was like, “Oh, like I can go chill on their couch and watch movies anytime with them.” Yeah. But this party is like pretty big, and it should be fun. So like, I flaked on them to do that, and it was totally fine. Yeah, no, but I mean, I feel that. My thing is, is like personally, I would say don’t post on Instagram depending on what excuse you gave your friend that you flaked on if you’re gonna go out. That’s the same, like, you know, ’cause it’s like, “Oh.” You’re like, “Oh, I’m tired,” ’cause my friend will do that. “Oh, I’m tired,” and then I’ll look on their Instagram and I’m like, “Oh, you’re out at a club.” Yeah. And I’m like, that’s fine. No, that’s- I’d rather just tell me that you’re going to a club than tell me that you’re tired. No, that’s . I mean, yeah, when I said I was like, “I got invited to a party that I really want to go to, is it cool if, you know, flake?” Yeah. And like, again, people that are like good friends and what, and like people that know me, they know that’s not me trying to slight them or because I don’t want to do, it genuinely was just like, “Oh, it’s just a last minute thing that I got invited to, and I’d really like to go,” and it was chill. But yeah, no, if you’re gonna like lie, if you’re gonna make up an excuse and lie and then deliberately go do something else and then post about it, you’re, yeah, you’re an A-hole. Yeah, not great. So this is another occurring thing that I’ve seen a lot on things, so like, dinner party accommodations. And so what I mean by that is, say you are having a group of friends, group of pals, even family over for a meal, and someone is vegan or vegetarian, or they’re gluten free or they have allergens. Is it on you to provide alternatives for that person, or is it on them to bring something they can eat? It’s hard to say. I feel like most people with dietary restrictions like that generally do bring their own foods, and they have gotten used to making their own accommodations. For me it’s hard, because if I were in that position where I was having a group of friends over and I happened to be cooking for them, I would want to make something for everyone. But I also cook for a living, so like, I could understand from someone’s point of view where if they’ve never cooked vegetarian or vegan or gluten-free options, and they wouldn’t know what to do, or didn’t have the time. I don’t know, it’s hard. I think it’s just mostly up to communicating with that person beforehand. ‘Cause I, you don’t want them to show up and you not have food for them, and they didn’t realize, and they didn’t bring anything. I think it’s just up to communicating if like, you are having a dinner party, then communicate with your guests and be like, “Are there any dietary restrictions? And if so, how can we like fix them or work around them?” Even if it’s just as simple as like, “Hey, like, I cooked food, but I ordered you, you know, some like vegan pho from like this pho place nearby, ’cause I know you really like pho.” Yeah. Like, stuff like that. I feel like generally people with dietary restrictions are very chill about stuff like that, and don’t impose or want to inconvenience the people that are hosting them. For me, it comes down to the sense of like, is there entitlement on either side? Yeah. Like, is the person with the dietary restrictions being like, “you need to accommodate me,” or is the person on the other side being like, “You either need to eat what we have, or, you know, deal with it.” Yeah. ‘Cause I’ve read all these stories where pe, it’s like such a… Like… It’s like this moment, or they feel almost like the people making the food sometimes are like, “No, you either need to eat what I give you, or don’t bring other food if I’m making the meal.” But it’s like, let someone bring their own food. Yeah, no that’s insane. You know, let someone bring their own food, and also, if you are the person with the dietary restriction, just make sure you bring something that you can eat. Yeah, I mean, I think it’s just about like, yeah, just like communication, and I mean, again, if it were me, I’d want to include everybody, but also, not everybody’s a chef, and not everybody has the bandwidth to do that. I also, ’cause I have friends that are vegetarian or vegan, and I’ve had this situation happen. I think it’s the easiest thing to just make something on the side. Yeah. It doesn’t have to be the full meal either. Yeah. It could be like, as long as there’s enough sides to make someone full. Yeah. I think that that’s fine. I feel like the hardest one, the one that you definitely need to bring your own food most of the time depending on what it is, is allergies. Yeah. ‘Cause you don’t know what’s in the kitchen when people are cooking, and sometimes if you’re allergic to something that’s like a really common ingredient, you can’t really tell someone not to. Yeah, like soy. Yeah. Yeah, I mean honestly, maybe I’m just built different, but if it were me and I was having someone with bad allergies come over and I was cooking, I would go very far the extra mile to make sure that none of the food in the kitchen didn’t have any of it, just because that’s like a very big safety issue. I can’t imagine just like someone going an anaphylactic shock in my kitchen ’cause I freaking left… I would freak out. I couldn’t hand, I- Used a knife that was contaminated and that would, I would feel so bad. Also, taking a moment to just say, if you have a food allergy, I’m sorry. Yeah. Because sometimes, I have a friend who’s allergic to a lot of stuff. Yeah. She can’t even eat strawberries. Yeah. I only have one allergy, but it’s not like a super serious one. Oh, cool. Why are you looking at me? I don’t know, I didn’t know if you were gonna elaborate, or if you’re not. Oh yeah, I’ll elaborate. Yeah, I’m allergic to broke. Yeah, I’m broke toast intolerant, so, I can’t. I’m sorry- I’m sorry, that was so bad. That was so bad. I’m gonna cut that. That was so dumb. No, don’t cut that. you. I’ll leave it, I’ll leave it then. All right, okay. Sorry, I didn’t mean that. What about- You deserve to feel safe at work. No, you’re fine. All right. Charging friends or family for services, so if you’re a professional baker or artist or something like that, are you charging your friends for your service, or should they get a discount or get it for free? You should definitely charge them, 100%. I agree. And again, it depends situation by situation. Obviously, I’m not gonna go home for Thanksgiving and bake a pie and be like, “Pay me.” Like, that’s insane. But I mean, yeah, if you’re like an artist, or if you do do stuff like that, or like, one example, my friend who I went to culinary school, he got asked to do someone’s wedding cake one time, and like, yeah, stuff like that you should charge. You’re an expert at what you do, you have trained for it. And if someone is requesting your services for something in a bigger way, like I have friends that are editors, and sometimes I’m too lazy to open Photoshop, or I’m too busy to go and Photoshop and I need a meme made, and I’ll just text my friend and be like, “Hey, can you make me a meme?” And even though I know it takes him like 30 seconds to do, I still will jokingly Venmo him like $2 sometimes. I’m just like, “I feel bad, I feel scummy. I feel scummy not paying you.” Yeah. I think that you should definitely pay your friends for stuff, and like… Yeah, and it all depends on like the size of the project, and what you’ve asked for. Yeah. And I mean if it was, you know, if it was something that you wanted to do for someone, and then you like, like if you just like wanted to paint something for someone, and then you asked them for money, that would be weird. If it’s a gift, obviously not, but, yeah, if you’re like trying to use your friends’ gifts and talents for something that you want done, you should pay them for it. Yeah, it’s crazy how many people are like, “Oh, but you’re my brother.” I was like, if my brother was a professional house painter, I wouldn’t just expect him to paint my house for free. I’d be like, and I don’t wanna discount either. Back when I had, when I was unemployed during the pandemic, I had my own podcast, and I have a friend who does graphic design, and she did my podcast art, and I paid her full price. I was like, she even asked, she’s like, “Oh, whatever you can give me.” I was like, “No, what do you charge for this?” Yeah, give me your rate. I want to know, I’m trying to support you in your business. Yeah. Especially if it’s a small business. Yeah, I love supporting my friends that are like artists and editors and stuff, it’s great. And they’re good at it. A lot of people expect like, “Oh, you’re my best friend, you’re gonna charge me?” It’s like, “Yeah, this is what I do for a living. It’d be different if you were asking me to help you with something that I don’t do professionally.” Yeah. Like if you, for whatever reason, if someone wanted me to draw them a picture, I’m not gonna charge them for that, ’cause I don’t do that professionally, and it be probably- And it would be bad. Yeah. Yeah, it would be terrible. I can draw a pretty good cartoon hippo. That’s about it. One talent. One thing you can draw. One thing I can do. No- You’re an artist. I actually did, I used to, the person that did all the drawings for “Crash Bandicoot” and “Jack and Dexter” and “Fievel Goes West” was my art teacher. Oh, that’s pretty cool, actually. That’s pretty cool. Yeah, but I was 12, so I stopped after. Oh, yeah. I was just like, “I wanna do volleyball now.” You didn’t retain any of that knowledge? Kinda, I don’t know. I’ll do a drawing, and I’ll put it in this podcast, and y’all can rate it. Anyways, okay. This one comes up a lot for whatever reason. Yeah. Announcing news at other people’s celebrations, like just because you’re like, “Oh, well everyone I wanna tell is already here.” No, that’s screwed up. Don’t do that. Yeah. It’s different if it’s just a normal gathering of friends and you happen to have news, but like if somebody, if there’s somebody else that you’re going to a celebration for them for something, like whether it’s an engagement, a wedding, a freaking promotion at work, like whatever reason, if someone is celebrating something and you show up and then announce something there at their celebration, that just makes you a D bag. A hundred percent. I don’t get why people do need to usurp the moment. It’s like it, one, just shows that you’re inconsiderate, ’cause you’re not taking into account the person’s feelings who is celebrating. It shows that you are lazy, because you don’t care enough to organize your own thing to announce it, so you just wanna hijack someone else’s, and yeah, I don’t know, it just makes you look an A-hole. Yeah. I think the worst is proposing at other people’s weddings, and it’s the absolute worst- Oh, yeah, no, that is so weird. Thing that you can do. That is so weird. If someone did that to me, like if my boyfriend thought it was appropriate to make an announcement at someone’s wedding and propose to me, I feel like the relationship would have to be over, just because how do you make such a faux pa? Yeah, no that’s weird. I can’t imagine. And you just- Being that self-centered. Exactly, and it’s like you just like, ’cause you see the mo, a lot of people are like, “Oh, but love is in the air,” and it’s like, not yours. Yeah. Go to Mexico, go be on a beach. I would be like, “You couldn’t plan your own proposal, so you had to take this beautiful moment away from somebody else?” No, yeah, that’s weird. I don’t like that. It’s so weird, or announcing pregnancies at people’s graduations. Just wait. If you’re not showing, ’cause if you’re showing, people are gonna ask you, which also, never ask a woman if she’s pregnant. Wow, great advice, Jamie. I’m just saying, some people still do it. I’ve never asked anyone if they’re pregnant, ever. They could look like they’re literally about to pop. I met someone at- Not gonna ask. I was at my friend’s wedding, and I hadn’t seen this other girl in a while, and she came up to me clearly pregnant, but all I did was like, “Hey, so good to see you. It’s been so long.” Yeah. “How have things been going, anything new?” That’s when she tells me the news. That’s how you get outta that situation. Yeah. All right, strap in everyone, we’re gonna judge some people. “Am I for making this woman uncomfortable while drunk and refusing to apologize? My friends and I had a small get together Friday night where we all got sloshed and played cards. One brought a new coworker with her. To be clear, everyone brought alcohol, and there was a lot of drinking. Most people were as tipsy as me, some more so.” Okay, sounds like a normal, fun night. “When I have a few, I talk a lot,” been there. “I don’t really talk to anyone, I just talk. It’s usually random theoretical questions about philosophy or something.” Okay, you freaking nerd. “Yeah, when I get drunk I like to talk about like random philosophy stuff.” “Really cliche stuff, like if you go and find all the parts of the Ship of Theseus and put them back together, would it be the same ship then? You know, just overthinking stuff to the extent I’ve missed the original point.” Okay, you do not get drunk and talk about the Ship of Theseus. Dude- I don’t even know what that is. You don’t know what the Ship of Theseus is? It’s this really dumb like philosophical question where it’s like, if you had a ship, so this Ship of Theseus, and you like, say it needed a new board to be replaced. Yeah. So you had this ship, and you ended up over a period of time replacing every single part of the ship with a new piece, with new wood, with new whatever, would it be the same ship? Oh. ‘Cause it’s all new parts, but it… Okay. It’s stupid. I get it. It’s like a, nobody gives , and it doesn’t mean anything. Okay. Sorry. “My friends will sometimes engage with me, because when they’re drunk, they find it funny. When they get bored they just start ignoring me. Last night I was mostly talking about time travel. I mentioned the bootstrap paradox, and started rambling nonsensically about ideas randomly coming into existence, and then time travelers going back and putting them in the time stream. It didn’t make sense, I was drunk.” I just don’t ever wanna hang out with this person. Yeah. No shade, dude, I’m glad that you have your hobbies, and you have the things that you like, I just know that I would not… Yeah. Anyway, “My friend that brought her coworker texted me this morning and asked me if I talked to her coworker at all that night. A little, but not really. Just the ‘Hi, nice to meet you,’ stuff. She said the coworker said I made it really uncomfortable and she didn’t want to go to any future gatherings with me there. I asked what I did exactly that made her uncomfortable. My friend texted me back that she said I went on all night about crazy conspiracy theories and it scared her.” “I told my friend that I was just talking theoretically, like I always do. Also, what’s scary about time travel?” There’s a lot of scary things about time travel. Yeah. “I don’t get that. She said her coworker thinks I’m mentally unbalanced. She said she’d give her coworker her phone so I can call and apologize if I want to clear the air. I declined, I didn’t do anything to her. If she doesn’t want to go to future gatherings, that’s probably for the best. My friend said I’m being an asshole, she wants to be friends with a new coworker, and I’m making it hard. I understand that, but I’m not going to apologize for being a rambling drunk. She feels uncomfortable around drunk people, I understand. She shouldn’t go to party centered around drinking in the future. Am I off base?” Dude, you’re not an , but you sound like nightmare to be around. Yeah, like that’s a thing. Like I liked this story because one, if you read the title you’re like, yeah, clearly you were drunk and you made a woman uncomfortable. However, in this situation, she’s probably a little on the… Like, maybe you are a little unhinged. Yeah. You know? Or she’s not used to, and that’s cool. I don’t mind some unhinged people, that’s fine. No, yeah. You know? Like, it sounds like this guy’s like, obnoxious and annoying when he is drunk. But he’s aware of it, which- Yeah, he knows, which doesn’t make it better, but no, he’s not an for sitting there and being obnoxious. And it’s not like he was targeting her, you know? Yeah. It’s not like he was cornering her and targeting her with these discussions. I mean if it’s like he says and he was just sitting there drunk and just like being an idiot, look, I don’t think he’s the , I don’t think that that’s something that you necessarily… It’s weird, if he was talking about, yeah, I mean if it really was just like conspiracy theories and time travel, like, it’s not something that like is, you don’t you need to apologize. Yeah. Like, if he was talking about things that actually had some merit to make someone uncomfortable, like time travel, it’s made up. Yeah, like if it was politics. Yeah, if it’s politic. Or if it was like religion, one of those heavy, hitting things, something about like- Or like his personal sexual experiences, or something like that. Yeah. Like, that would be weird, and I would understand that. I think it’s like kind of… Like look, this, the coworker is entitled to her opinion on this man. Yeah. And if she doesn’t feel comfortable being around him, then yeah, don’t go to future gatherings. You were just kind of brought into the situation. I think it’s a little selfish on the coworker’s part to want an apology. Yeah, yeah. I think that… Like, you can’t- Yeah, I don’t know. I wanna say everyone sucks, ’cause the guy just sounds so annoying. Yeah. Like, he sounds so obnoxious. Yeah, like look, be yourself. Yeah. But, I don’t know, have you ever asked your friends if they’re like, into that all the time? Like, is this how every drunken outing goes? Yeah. You know? And if your friends are cool with it, then that’s cool too, but I just thought that one was interesting because of the title. Yeah. No, that’s good. And I was like, and also some women are very sensitive to new surroundings, and I get that, and things that might not necessarily be scary or whatever might seem scary to them. Yeah. But this is like, like you said, he didn’t corner her. Yeah. And like, I’ve been in situations where I go to a party with people I don’t know, and there’s one person that is just very obnoxious. Like, I get that. Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been to the party where there’s like the obnoxious drunk person, or whatever, someone that’s weird, or doing things that are just like… But like, I would never freaking then go to my friend who invited me to that party and be like, “Can you make them apologize to me? Because that made me uncomfortable.” I’d probably just be like, “Ugh, I don’t wanna go to a party with that person again. Or if I do see that person at a party, I’m not gonna talk to them.” Yeah. That’s the normal thing to do, but. Next Am I The , Jamie, are you ready? I am judging, and I will send my verdict. “I, 28 male, am currently pretty much estranged from my family. I have a younger sister, 27 female, Tori. When one of my friends, Brendan, 28 male, started dating Tori, I hated it at first, but eventually, I gained a best friend. They got married in 2018, and I was the best man. Brendan is now like my brother, we are that close. In 2020, Tori left Brendan for another guy.” Ooh, okay, so there’s two guys, both the same age, and a younger sister who’s one year younger than the guy. Friends are dating, Tori left Brendan, so his sister left his best friend. Yes. “For another guy, reality TV type, type shiz-knit. My parents were incredibly upset, as was I. My sister moved in with the guy immediately. My parents knew I was, but had to support their daughter. I went no contact with Tori, and low contact with my parents.” Fair enough. “In 2020, when Tori’s second wedding happened, I didn’t go. Me and my dad had it out over it. My mother tried playing peacekeeper for the family. My parents then started giving me the silent treatment. When 2020 holiday season came around, it was the height of COVID. My parents said that I should just do my own thing this year because with me going out a lot, they didn’t want me spreading diseases. My exact response was, ‘If you’re worried about catching diseases from other people, shouldn’t you be more worried about Tori? I mean she’s the one who likes to sleep around.’ Me and my dad had another fight, especially due to his ‘family over everything’ mantra. I hardly spoke to my family in 2021. My parents had send me a text like, ‘When you are ready to apologize, we’ll be here,’ type shiz-knit. I responded with the Bible verse about adultery, and how they support it. I was buried it again, and we hardly spoke until October of 2021. Last year I was told we were doing Thanksgiving at Tori’s place, and if I wanted to come, I needed to apologize to Tori and her husband. I laughed and ended up going to Brendan’s family’s, where Brendan’s mom posted me with her family on Facebook and tagged me with a quote about how family, a quote about family being those you choose. I never told her to post it, but my mom saw it, and went ape , asking for me to come over and talk, and even commented on the post. So, this year my plan is to go to Brendan’s family again. My mom called and said she wanted to host this year. I asked if Tori and her husband would be there, she said, ‘Of course, they’re family.’ I said, ‘So is Brendan, but I saw how you treated him and me, so no thank you.’ Yesterday my dad called, said my mom is distraught and has been for years. She wants us all to get along, so I need to do the right thing. I said I’ll come if my sister isn’t invited. He said that he wouldn’t do that to family. I said he did that to me for two years. He claimed I did it to myself, my mom is now saying it was my dad that has been the hard about it this whole time. I said she should have divorced him then, because I’m not putting up with anymore, either my sister isn’t invited, or I don’t come. I’ve now had some extended family reach out and say my parents are upset and hurt. I said my parents were totally okay with not having me around for two years. Am I the ?” Also, I’m not gonna read the edit, because JB told me not to, but down below, it says that she did cheat on Brendan. Yes. I felt like it was somewhat implied with the reality TV part. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so- A lot to unpack a little bit, but. A lot to unpack. One, OP is only, only for the comment about catching diseases, about his sister. Yeah, that’s not great. That’s weird. That was just like, and I get that, like, you know, you’re frustrated about it, and you’re angry, and you’re rightfully so. Like… Like, that’s fine to be angry about. Brendan is your best friend, and your sister cheated on your best friend, like… And left him for that person and moved in, and everyone just pretended that it was fine. Like, yeah, that is your prerogative. They always say that blood is thicker than water as like a… Yeah, like family comes first type situation. Yeah, but the full phrase is actually the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Yeah. And so, it’s like actually the opposite of what you would usually use it for. Exactly. Yeah. Obviously, OP was hurt. Yeah. He was hurt by that, he was hurt by her doing that to his best friend, and that’s okay. So, it is up to her to make amends. I agree with that. And talk about it, at least have a conversation, you know? If she was reaching out and saying, “Hey, can we talk about this? I just want to like explain what happened, like my side of it, whatever.” Yeah. You know, that’s all she can do. The parents have no say. I mean they’re just like, they’re just there, and they… Like, you didn’t go to the second wedding, and him and his dad fought over that? I wouldn’t go either. Yeah. I wouldn’t go to freaking… Yeah I wouldn’t go to that wedding. Also, it’s like you got married in 2018 to the best friend, so the original time. Yeah. And you’re already getting married to this other guy, to me, impulsive, way too impulsive. Maybe take some time. No, 100%, it is impulsive, it happened fast, and I wouldn’t go to the wedding either, ’cause it’s like I would, it was still pretty fresh, and it was still pretty raw, and like, you don’t have to go there, and it’s weird for the parents to get mad at him over that. Like, obviously they aren’t really seeing his side of things. I would say that the parents and Tori and everyone are the only person who’s not an sounds like it’s Brendan. Brendan. I don’t know Brendan personally, but he seems like not an . OP is a little bit of a just for the kind of snarky, snide way that he responded to some comments, but just like, like -light, you know? Yeah, for me, I think he’s a little bit more of an than just for that comment, only because, well, one, we don’t know. It seems like he never had a great relationship with his family if it was so easy, like I understand him being so distraught and so hurt over his best friend. He does not necessarily know the ins and outs of their marriage, and I do not condone cheating. Like, you should have just broken up with him and then got with this dude. Yeah. But, if it wasn’t right for her, it wasn’t healthy, whatever, and I get him holding that grudge, but it seems like he’s so viscerally still upset over it. Yeah. And he’s saying that his parents are choosing his sister. They’re not, they’re not trying to choose between you. You are choosing not to be a part of the family in that way. Yeah. Yes, the dad should not make him apologize. He doesn’t have anything to apologize for, so that I get, but if he could just go to Thanksgiving and be like, “Yo,” just ignore her. Yeah. I think that’s fine. If you choose not to go, that’s also fine, but don’t make it seem like your parents are in the wrong for not turning their back on their daughter. No, yeah, and I mean, marriages break up for variety of reasons, you know? And there’s probably a lot of nuances to this story that are not explained in the Reddit post. Definitely think that he’s like, he definitely sucks a little bit, but also, I mean, I respect the decision if like, you’re… If he had an unhealthy relationship with his parents and it wasn’t enriching his life in any way, and I mean, it does seem like his parents probably treat him maybe a little bit different than his sister, and like they’re seeming like they fight. And if that’s just like a relationship that isn’t making his life better, and his life would be significantly better if he wasn’t in it, like it sounds like Brendan is seems cool, and his family really likes this guy, OP. Yeah. So like, look, I couldn’t fault someone for wanting to just be no contact or low contact with their family for that reason. And maybe it’s something that you just need more time, you know? I mean, who knows, maybe in four years you’ll forget about it. Brendan will have moved on, it just, the timeline’s very fast, and I could see how if something like that happen to my best friend, I’d be pretty upset. And like, if it was making him uncomfortable that I was just fine with my family or whatever, I wouldn’t want that. I don’t know, it’s hard. In this particular story, I just feel like you can tell that everyone in this family though is cut from the same cloth. Yeah. That’s what I’m saying, they’re all kind of immature. Yeah. Not Brendan, although, I would like to give a special shout to Brennan’s mom. Yeah, for that pet. Yeah, Brendan. Brennan. Brendan. Brendan, you’re right. I don’t know why I can’t read. Why’d you try and like- ‘Cause swear to God. You were combative. I was combative. I was wrong, I was the asshole. I thought you were just saying Brendan fast, you’re like, ‘Brendan.” No, I’ve literally read it wrong. You goober. Yeah, but Brendan’s mom for that petty post. Yeah, no that’s funny. Shout out to that, ’cause that is hilarious, ’cause obviously she, that’s her son, so she’s like, yeah. Yeah. Screw Tori. No, yeah, that’s hilarious. Tori sucks, like. I don’t know, and I feel like that’s probably why in the beginning he’s like, “I hated that they were dating at first, but then I gained a best friend,” so it’s like they weren’t even that close at first. Yeah. Like they were friends, but they weren’t that close. Started dating sister, and he’s like, “Oh, this isn’t gonna turn out well.” But then they got married, so he is like, “Okay, great, we’re in the clear,” and then like, literally two years later, cheated and left and then married this guy in that year. That’s the thing, she left the guy that year, and married that year. So in my head, I’m sorry, but if you’re getting married that quickly, especially if it’s a second marriage, you’re… You’ve got, you should probably go to therapy. Yeah, I think- Work out some stuff. Everybody should go to therapy. Well, everyone should, but I just feel like that’s like a dire consequence. Yeah. Well, I feel like I made some really good points today. Moral dilemmas at play. Oh, man. Please don’t take any of my advice. It’s probably bad. I thought you were pretty astute. If you do take my advice and it lands you in trouble, I cannot be held legally responsible for that. Sorry about my sexy voice all day, unless it’s nice, then I’m not sorry, and you’re welcome. Yeah, Jamie, do you have any final closing thoughts for the people? You know, I think that- And that’s all the time we have. All I was gonna say- I’m sorry, that was mean. No, you’re fine. All I was gonna say is that I think it’s interesting to kind of, even though some of these situations are seemingly cut and dry, it’s interesting to hear what people’s sides of stories are, and to- Yeah. See also how many different perspectives come into play just on like someone’s judgment on a story, or how different people perceive the same situation. Yeah. That’s always been interesting to me. Especially, that’s why I love reality TV I think, ’cause you see people go through something. Yeah. And then, obviously it’s all fake and they cut it up. Okay, right? So don’t, I know it’s not real, however. No, it’s real. It’s real to me. But some of the situations, basically, it’s like they, you see the situation go down, and then when the two people involved go tell the other people, they truly believe that their version of events is right, but they’re completely different from each other. No, that’s just like what humans do. Like, whenever there’s a disagree or an argument, you make up your own perceptions in your head, and it is very rare that your first instinct will be to make yourself out to be the bad guy. And so the first person that you talk to, and I mean, that’s why they always say like, there’s three always three sides of a story, one person’s, the other person’s, and the truth. Like… Yeah. You’re always gonna skew something. I mean, unless you really screwed up, and you’re a humble and good person, and there are people out there like that. But, you know, the majority of people, when there’s a disagreement, they believe that they’re in the right, and so then their reality becomes skewed towards what they believe, which is that they’re right, and then they tell that to people. And so they, I don’t know, people just are people. People are people. That’s why I sit in my room play video games. Gamers aren’t mean or terrible people at all, actually. Why are you laughing? Listen, everyone, it’s the season of gifting. It’s the holiday season. Whatever you’re giving gifts for, know that there are lots of gifts over at Mythical.com. We have all sorts of gifts. I mean, you can get stuff for new time fans, you can get stuff for people that have been watching Rhett and Link since they were like babies, or whatever. I don’t know when they started YouTube, but I assume when they were babies. And everywhere in between, over at Mythical.com, there’s a lot of cool stuff going on over there. And then also, amazon.com/mythical, but with the M lowercase, that’s important. You can go over there and check out, we’ve got a lot of products over there on Amazon. We’ve got some grooming sets, we’ve got some of our merch over there. There’s some like really cool Amazon exclusives over there too that we only sell on Amazon. And if you have Prime, then you can get like that nice Prime two-day shipping if it’s available to you. So, if you wanna get some quick easy stuff over there on amazon.com/mythical, you can check that out. Well everyone, thanks for spending today with me. Thank you for listening to “Trevor Talks Too Much.” It means lots. I’m gonna go take a nap now. In the meanwhile, we’ve got new episodes every Tuesday, and we’ve got the video versions come out following Monday. And yeah, I don’t know, smash that like button right now. Follow us, follow me, actually. 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