(vintage mythical ding) – Oh, hello there. (laughs) What’s going on? Well, it’s another weird, wonderful, Watcher one off. – And today we’re going to be trying some American vintage dishes with Rhett and Link. – We’re American’s! – We’re vintage! (Shane laughing) – [Link] I mean, how old are you, 45? – That’s right you guys are vintage. – [Link] I’m forty freaking four, you’re forty freaking five. – Yeah, half way to 90. – Oh! – Well, that is true. – We don’t have to do the math on that. – You didn’t tell us how old you were. – I’m 36. – And I am 31. – I could be your father. At 14, you could get it done. – Shane, I could be your cousin, dude. – [Shane] Well, the way we are set up right now it does feel like we’re having a family meal together. – Yeah, this would be a weird family. We all sit on one side of the table. – We’re the head table. – This is like the last supper. Who’s getting it? (all laughing) – Okay! Concerning – I’m adopted. 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Now you guys have eaten so much food over the years, it’s probably just a sick disgusting blur in your brain at this point. – [Link] Oh, god. – It is. – Such a sick disgusting blur. – Here’s the thing, this feels like something that we would have done and whenever that happens, we’ve done so many episodes that we probably have eaten old American foods, but we probably called it something different. And then Link was in the thumbnail probably going- (all laughing) – When you guys do taste tests in other channels it would be very odd that you hadn’t tried it already, just because you are so well traveled in the food world. – But we wipe our memories every time. – Yeah, we do. – Oh, like an etch-a-sketch. – You just sniff some markers after a few- – Yeah, yeah yeah. You get the right combination. – That doesn’t do… That’s not as effective as you think. It is more etch-a-sketch. They shake us at the door before we leave. – [Shane] I see, I see. Well, without further ado I think it’s time we dig in. (lively percussive music) – [Shane] Oh my goodness gracious. – [Link] It looks like an eyeball. – It honestly does look very appealing. – Have you guys ever eaten anything like this? – [Link] Nope! – [Rhett] No this is completely original. – [Ryan] Wait, are you serious? – [Link] Never had this. – [Shane] That’s an accomplishment. – That’s an accomplishment. We should all be very proud here at Watcher. That’s amazing, I’m notoriously bad and anxious when it comes to cutting birthday cake. I always fuck it up. – [Link] This is like removing the- – The cataracts. – The cataracts. Cut off the cataracts. – Yeah you’ve got this knife angled at our guests right now. – Yeah and you know what? – Angle it towards me. – [Rhett] And your own hand. – [Link] You know what, you’re gonna be quickly in a position.. – You know what, let me do this. – Yeah you know what you do it. (Rhett laughing) – I got my kniveman-chit when I was in the boy scouts. – [Ryan] That’s cool. – [Shane] I quit after awhile. – Your knifeman-chit? – My kniveman-chit, Link, chit. – What! Is that a badge? – [Shane] Yeah it’s like a little badge, you know. It’s like a.. ooh! – [Rhett] That’s a good knife, that’s a good knife. You want to split this one? – No. I got my own damn plate. – [Rhett] Wait watch your hand Link! Do you see that! – [Shane] I stopped. – [Link] I trust. – [Shane] I was aware… – [Link] I trust. Their channel is called Watcher. They see all. – [Rhett] Yeah, I’m about to watch you get your index finger cut off. Is this the proper technique? Because I don’t know how you do this… – I feel like it’s got to be – Without doing what you’re doing, like the innards are spilling with every slice. – Is it cream cheese or is it icing? – I believe it’s cream cheese. – It’s Philadelphia man. They don’t do icing in Philadelphia. If it’s white and creamy in Philadelphia, it’s cream cheese. – For a second I thought it was mayo and I got very excited. – That makes sense. – [Rhett] Well Link’s already eating it! – I’m a mayo hound. – He didn’t even wait on everybody. (chewing sounds) – See that crunchy part, – [Shane] Mmm. – I don’t think that’s supposed to be there. – [Shane] Mmm! – [Rhett] I gotta say. – [All] Mmm. – [Rhett] The cream cheese with the sweet fruit, that’s a nice combo! – It’s refreshing, huh? – I was so confused that entire bite. I went on such a journey. It was amazing, and I was like oh cream cheese but wait that kind of compliments. No it doesn’t. – No, I think it does. I think it does. – Yes it does. There’s a sweeter part. Oh the sweet, with that. I like this. I think I liked it. – I was a little apprehensive about the cream cheese because cream cheese has a little bit of savoriness to it, just a little bit. – [Ryan] I fucking love cream cheese. – But it works well with the sweetness. I’m going to make this for dinner tonight. – I’ve got to say, this doesn’t look very convenient to make. – Yeah I think tonight… (Link laughing) – [Rhett] What I’m going to do is I’m just gonna get a honeydew and get a bucket of cream cheese and just do the little dip. Maybe Jell-O on the side. – There’s really no other way to do it then to just manhandle this melon yourself. You just gotta raw hand it and kinda just massage cream cheese around it. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – [Shane] Did you guys massage this? If I had to explain this dish in one word, it would be elegance. – Oh, really? – It’s really good. – I would go nuanced. – I was gonna say, unnecessary. – I would probably say wet. – Wet! – [Shane] It is pretty wet. – It is pretty moist. – [Shane] Its a sweet wet. – [Rhett] If you’re gonna have wet, you need sweet wet. – The best type of wet, is the sweet wet. – It’s the sweet wet. (Link laughing) (music playing) – [Producer] Next dish, we have the ham and bananas hollandaise. It’s ham, mustard, banana, and hollandaise sauce. – Mustard! – [Ryan] Have you fellas had this before? – Okay, I haven’t had this but I will say, something that we have done on the show a couple of times is there are these scientifically based reasons for certain flavors to compliment one another. And we recently learned that chicken and bananas have some compound that makes them complimentary. We didn’t do ham. – [Shane] What about mustard? – No that also wasn’t part of it. But I’m just saying the sometimes what looks really unappetizing, is something you would never put together can actually work in your mouth. There’s only one way to find out. – [Shane] I got it, yeah. As someone who is pretty much down to eat anything you recently had us over to your place and I ate some spiders. That was delicious. – [Ryan] I ate some too. – Yeah we kinda sprung it on you. – Delicious! – It was fine. I was hungry. – I was surprised. – [Rhett] You went back for seconds. – [Shane] I did. – [Ryan] Well he’s also, there’s something wrong with him. – [Rhett] Well, I’ve learned that. – This genuinely looks more upsetting than the spiders. – [Ryan] It does. – No, but that is upsetting. I mean it’s very white. – [Shane] It’s beige. – [Rhett] I think that each piece of ham is actually the hamdle, and we each have to grab our own banana. – Ohh! – What decade is this? – [Producer] Seventies. – Oh, the seventies! They were grabbing the bananas in the seventies. – They were high as hell. – Are you guys gonna be offended ? – Grab a banana! Grab that banana. – [Ryan] Wow, You really went for it. – [Rhett] It feels incredible. Does that not feel great? – It does feel good. – [Link] It’s warm! – [Shane] It’s room temperature. It’s like flesh temperature. – [Link] No, it’s hot. It’s a little hot. – [Ryan] Why don’t we all pause for a thumbnail here. All of us white knuckling a banana that’s wet. – [Link] Should we? – Hey don’t drip on me man! And real quick guys, if you want to get the ham all over the banana just take it and just move… (Ryan laughing) – Who’s gonna take the bait on this one? – [Rhett] There’s mustard that gets spread around when you take it and sort of just stroke it. – Oh , I didn’t realize the mustard was underneath. – [Rhett] Yeah the mustard is underneath! (quiet guitar music) – Oh made a mess. – That’s flavors. – I don’t mind it. And here’s why. Growing up, we would have (Ryan laughing) – [Rhett] Bananas and mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches – Rhett, for a second there I thought you were going to be like growing up when my mom would make this… – [Shane] Every night – Yeah, every night she’d make this. – Come stick your hand in the bananas! – [Shane] It’s not bad tasting. It’s a little confusing and I’m concerned about how it’s going to mingle. – I’m going back in. – [Rhett] It’s got a good mouth feel. I don’t mind it. Because the mayonnaise and the mustard together. – [Link] Its not, it’s hollandaise. – You know what? Second bite was better. – [Ryan] ] I was about to say, they’re not dancing. This is a mosh pit. I was really gripping that banana. It’s crushed on the bottom. – You know what? I’m doing the same thing but I’m doing it with my anus. (men laughing) – Like that’s how I find out I’m really not enjoying something is that like – What are you talking about? – I realize that it’s really puckered up down there. – [Ryan] Is that what you guys we’re talking, your assistant reached out to me for a sphincter cam and I didn’t really know what they meant. – Yeah, that’s the true test if I like something or not. Who has kept a totally clean hand? – Oh no, I’ve… – [Rhett] Oh god. – [Shane] Sorry buddy! – [Ryan] Shane, what are you doing? – [Rhett] Oh my god! – And of all places it falls right on the crotch. – Right on the crotch. – I mean I have to go with wet again. (Rhett laughing) – I think Link nailed it on the first pass. This is a pretty wet one. – You know what? I’m going with selfish. I think this is a very selfish dish. (Link laughing) – I’m going to stick with hamdle just because I’m proud of that – [Ryan] Hamdle is good. – [Rhett] and I just want to say it one more time. – And you convinced all of us to do it somehow. – I mean you saw how fun it looked. – [Ryan] It did look fun. – I would call this, Glizzy. – Oh that’s good. – It really does, it is the glizzy. (upbeat music) – [Link] I see little smokies – [All] Ohhhh!!! – [Link] Or is that hot dogs! – [Ryan] Oh no. No no no no. – [Rhett] We’ve had this. – [Shane] You’ve had this? – We’ve had this once… – [Rhett] Because… – I wouldn’t recommend having it twice. – This right here, this part, and maybe the middle part recently had a resurgence on Reddit. – I will say that it’s a nauseating dish to look at. – Oh you got your holes working on you. – [Ryan] I don’t like the little holes around, it looks very alien like to me. – Well, we can cover it up with some wieners for you. – Put the wieners in the hole. Think of it like a wreath, like a holiday wreath. – [Rhett] Yeah yeah yeah. – [Link] It’s just got a bunch of dicks coming out of it. – [Ryan] You know if I went to a holiday party and that was outside someones door I’d walk back to my car. It looks like I’m not celebrating Christmas this year. – That is very congealed. – [Ryan] That is so fucking gross. (laughing) – I’d like to marvel in the cross section of this because now it’s just little bits. Here we go. – [Rhett] Ready. Three, two, one. (quiet guitar music) – [Rhett] The wiener chaser really helps. – [Ryan] Were just a table full of wiener chasers. – You can really taste the fake liquid smoke in a hot dog when you eat it raw. – You can taste the fake everything in there. None of this came from the earth. The hot dogs really good. – It’s not bad. – You’re like flipping out over a hot dog. – It’s a good raw hot dog. – He loves hot dogs though. – [Link] Cold hot dog – [Rhett] This is what it was like in 1988 in Peter Dinklage’s kitchen. He was like, we were sitting there, everybody was asleep. He opens the drawer, he pulls out the wiener. (Ryan laughing) – He kept them in a drawer? – In the fridge. – Oh, in the fridge. – [Ryan] Okay I was about to say you made it seem like, oh he’s like moving scotch tape out of the way. Here’s the wieners! – [Shane] It’s like an old tool chest. – Here’s my wiener drawer. – I don’t know if you catch that but there’s one spiral here that’s particularly offensive to me. – [Link] It’s an O within an O. – [Rhett] I couldn’t have told you that all the Spaghettios weren’t the same size I mean they’re two different sizes. – [Shane] I did not know that! – Big and small – It makes the dish look sentient you know. I don’t. – It seems like something you would make if you had people coming over but you really resented them. (Rhett and Link laughing) – Something you make for your enemy. – [Producer] can you throw me one word each? – Oh, spongy! – Just, gross. I’m gonna go with gross. – I’m gonna say wiener-drawer which makes it one word. – Weiner-drawer, that’s true yeah. – I’m gonna say subtext, cause `it’s carrying lots of meaning. – None of these have made me feel ill but there’s a pile up occurring and I’m starting to feel a little queasy. – Little traffic on the 4 0 5 down there? (laughing) – There’s an eighteen minute slow down in your G I system ahead. (all laughing) – Better throw on a podcast its gonna get ugly. – All right (upbeat music) – [Shane] Oh, It’s a little happy, thing! – [Rhett] It looks like a salamander more than a fish. – [Shane] Is it a fish? – What shape have you done? – [Ryan] It certainly looks like something. – [Rhett] Oh you’re saying it’s a little, sperm-like. Very sperm-like. Personally, I love black olives and tomatoes. He doesn’t like either one so I’m gonna go ahead and take one of those. – [Shane] Oh its kinda sad to see you just pick out the eye. – After a long day of roller skating, – Shane This is what you come home to. – You come home to your actual tuna fish. – You guys need to have a signifier for when we’re all supposed to eat. For us that’s dink it. – [Shane] Oh right, dink it. – [Rhett] And sink it. – [Shane] Splatoosh. – We only know how to hunt ghosts. – [Link] Splatoosh, that’ll work. – [Rhett] Splatoosh, I like that. – [All] Splatoosh! Splatoosh! (all chewing) – [Shane] Mmm. – [Link] This is the best one yet, by far. This is just a legitimate tuna salad. – This is tuna right? – It’s just a good tuna salad. – I thought my whole life that I hated tuna cause I had it when I was a child, but now it’s pretty good. – This is your first time as an adult? – I think so. – Tuna salad should not regulated to the seventies. – That’s right, yeah. Just four guys gathered around a fish, made out of tuna fish. – I have tuna salad all the time. It’s so delicious that I try to make a little Cronenbergian like eraser head baby you know something that looks like it’s a nightmare and that you gotta eat it to put it out of it’s misery. – [Ryan] Jesus Christ man. – [Shane] That’d be fun, huh? – [Ryan] I feel like there’s a lot to unpack there. – [Link] You want to kill it by eating it? – [Shane] Yeah. – And would you do that free hand or would you trace it? – I would freehand, just sort of close my eyes and see what came out of it. – [Ryan] When you get steak served to you do you often ask the waiter if it had loved ones. – Yeah, I ask for a picture of the cow. – Yeah can I get a picture of the cow with his parents and maybe his kids? It helps me enjoy the steak cause I’m a fucking weirdo. (all laughing) – [Link] One word – Tuna! Sorry. – I mean, revelatory – Well for you, I can’t believe you haven’t had tuna in your whole life. – [Rhett] I’m glad I was here. – [Link] I’m so happy for you. – It’s one of those kid things. I had a bad experience with tuna when I was a kid, it was a texture thing. And now having it, it’s pretty good. – [Link] Where are you in all of this man? If that was me saying all of that, which it constantly is. I can’t finish a sentence without getting hit with a borage of berating. – But do you know what he’s doing? He’s eating it and expanding his horizons. You’re constantly not eating things and talking about how much you hate things. Here’s a tomato right now. – [Shane] Eat the tomato. – [Rhett] There’s one tomato left for you. – Go on. – I mean like, after talking like that, I’m encouraging him because he’s expanding his horizons – You can dick me in the eye with a tomato. – What! – [Rhett] Uh, nope. – That’s all I’m gonna do. – [Shane] Do you hate cherry tomatoes that bad? – You don’t want to eat it? That wasn’t the challenge. – The challenge is in the mouth I believe. – The challenge was not to be hit in the eye with tomato. It was to eat the tomato. – I can’t do that. – This feels like what people feel like when they’re sitting next to us arguing and they’re just kinda like. – [Rhett] Yeah yeah just keep quiet (Link chewing) – [Rhett] Oh look at this. – It’s so bad. – [Shane] It’s a little sweet. It’s like candy. – Put tuna in. Follow it up with tuna. – Yeah, chase it with some tuna. – You need to have the full experience here. – Better, better? – [Ryan] Nope, nope, nope, okay. – [Link] I can eat a tomato. (Shane clapping) – Growth – I’m proud of you, see how proud I am. (all clapping) – I mean, I’ve liked tuna for many years. – [Shane] Well, and we’re proud of him too. – [Link] And we’re proud of him. – Look at him, he’s going right back in. – It’s good, it’s good stuff. – My one word for this is flounder. Yeah, just because I need to have one. – My word is friendship. [All] Aww – [Ryan] That’s good – [Rhett] That’s beautiful – [Ryan] That’s a good word. – [Rhett] That’s great. – Again, thank you guys for coming and everybody please go watch them over at Good Mythical Morning where they eat things that are honestly way crazier than this. – You know what, I actually enjoyed myself today. – [Shane] That’s good! – I don’t always do that on our channel. – [Shane] That’s what we were aiming for. – Well you had us eat spiders the last time we were there. – Sorry – Ryan Sorry. – Pretty tasty. All right everybody, thanks for watching. We’ll see you next time, here. Bye! – The most genuine just, sorry. (all laughing) – [Link] Here’s a photo of me with like part of my cat. – [Shane] That looks like my cat, or part of my cat. – [Link] Yep yep, it’s not though. – [Rhett] It could also be just a rug. – [Ryan] Don’t get Shane talking about his cat we’ll derail this video really quick.