Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast for two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I’m Rhett and I’m Link. This week at the round table of Dim Lighting, we are doing one more Shorty, shorty for you. Next week we’re back to normal length episodes of ear biscuits. But we’re still breaking it. We’re still doing our little break. So this is helping us. We have a, an update on a situation. Mm-hmm. Me wetting myself. Yeah. Have you, I, have you peed yourself anymore since it’s been a number of weeks? I’ve not since you’ve done that. I have not. Let’s not forget that you did it. Well, let’s not forget that you did it. We forgot that I did it until now. Mm. We both done it and I remember when I did it, I talked about it on the show and then we asked people to, to make me feel better about it. Leaving voicemails and we asked for a similar thing for you. So you’re saying you haven’t peed anymore? I haven’t. Well, I’ve peed plenty of times. Just not in the bed. Okay, good. Let’s hear, let’s get a, uh, an update from someone. Hey, link. Just Elva. Um, I just wanna call in regarding last week’s I said, or whenever you guys might end up playing this. Um, right, you were not alone. Um, regarding the peeing in the bed situation. Um. This was about probably, I don’t know, me and my girlfriend had been dating for about two years. Um, this is towards the beginning of our relationship too. And we, you know, I also, I drink water. I drink a lot of water. You know, I’d probably say hydrated. Um, but I was sleeping in her bed, you know, sleeping with her and sleep. I was laying down on my stomach and I can’t remember what my dream was either. But all I remember is while I was still sleeping, this, the warm sensation, oh, this is horrible. Uh, and I was laying face down in it. The worst. Uh, I was able, it wasn’t too bad though. I was able to stop myself, but it did, it was pretty soaked. Um, so as soon as I felt that warm sensation, I immediately shot awake and I didn’t wake her up and I was just kind of sat there and was like, well, what am I supposed to do? And I think I just literally ended up. Setting a towel on it too and laying back down after I got up and cleaned myself. Yeah, so right. You are not alone. I also have wet the bed as 21 years old. Sorry. Love you guys. I appreciate the showing. Everything you guys do. Face down, face down. Even worse. That’s not a way to do it. I don’t sleep. Face down. It’s bad for your back. Straight into the mattress. Just like, just, just power in it right into the mattress deep where it can never be removed. 21 years old. That’s gotta make you feel better, right? Yeah. It’s not that I’m getting old, it’s just that it just, it happens to the best of us. It happens to the youngers of us. I saw somebody, well, I wonder what he told his girlfriend now. Well, I, I saw someone who was a, uh, who works at a hotel as a, um, housekeeper. And they said, this is actually very common. We’ve run into this all the time. Oh, somebody’s peed the bed. Yeah. Hey, and what do they do? They just, I, I hope that there’s that last like layer that they put down before the mattress. That is a barrier. Especially in a hotel. Oh, I think so. That’s gotta be standard, right? Think most hotels now have a, a mattress protector or something at some point. Yeah. So that’s waterproof for this very reason because you never know if you just started dating somebody and you’re sleeping over and then you are waking up peeing. Well, when I, when I told, uh, someone that I know who will not be named specifically about this. They started telling me about somebody that they knew, or I, that wasn’t actually them. They knew. They knew, or they, you know, they knew of in a college hookup situation, Uhhuh, where this guy and girl hooked up and then she was sleeping in his bed after a hookup. And she wet to bed that that night. And that’s it. Definitely colors the mattress. Yeah, the mattress. Yeah. Yeah. And it colors the situation. It gives an aged patina. Like it didn’t, they did it. The, it did not become a regular hookup situation. It was a onetime thing because, Ooh, that’s tough. And I think it was a combination of. The like sexiness level of someone changes when they piss in the bed that you’re in and you just hooked up with ’em. But also you feel self-conscious and maybe you feel like, okay, maybe I don’t pursue this thing anymore. Let ’em off the hook. Is that what you mean? Yeah, but I guess you could also, so I retire, relationship is built on the fact that you peed my bed, but I think maybe the man in some, in that situation could feel somewhat. Proud of himself. Like I, I gave it to you. So good you peed the bed later. Is that, I don’t know how I, I don’t know if it physiologically, I’ve never heard that in a rap song, and I think that’s where that would have happened. I’m gonna f you so hard. You’re gonna wet the bed later. Later. Not in the, in any act. You’re not gonna squirt No, no, no. You are just going to piss the bed while sleeping hours from now. Hey, a rapper can figure that out. Yeah, I, I don’t know exactly where the bragging is. M and m could do it. It’s just loosening up the, the, the bladder shoot. I don’t know. Yeah. What, what, what you’ve done, what are you actually bragging about here? I don’t know. You kinda limber up the, I’ve heard rappers talk about screwing people so hard that they walk funny the next day. Well, yeah. So I think that accidentally peeing yourself could be part of that walking funny, like constellation. Okay. You know. You’re walking funny and, and peeing yourself. Peeing uncontrollably. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Maybe you’re just like really relaxed afterwards. Right? Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Calmed you down, B down, and bliss calmed you down. So now here’s, and I’m not gonna mention r Kelly. Well, you just did. And, uh, and I’m not gonna take the bait like you did. Uh, okay. Uh, look, we’re moving, moving along again. So we’re moving along again. I have, moving along again, here’s what I haven’t done. I have not peed the bed again, but what I have done. Is, I would say two times out of a week. If I wake up in the middle of the night and I have to pee, I immediately get up and go pee. So it has put the fear of pee in me. Yeah. And so most of the time I don’t wake up enough in the night to go up and go up and pee or, um, I’ve woken up a couple times and haven’t felt like I needed to pee, but. Again, a couple of times I’ve woken up, I’m like, damn, I’m gonna sleep better if I just go pee right now, first of all, but also, I’m not gonna piss myself. And so I, and, and to where, where that’ll wear off after a year and you won. Think about it, in the pre pee days, I would’ve just gone back to sleep maybe a couple of months. I think another month or two. I, you’ll be over it. I got over it and I haven’t peed the bed since. And I still drink a lot of water, so maybe I’m flirting with disaster. I’m drinking less water right before I go to bed. Mm-hmm. So I have a few, it was an isolated incident. A few pills that I take right before I go to bed. And typically it would be with a full glass of water, and now it’s kind of like half, half glass of water. There was a time when I didn’t think much about credit, and then Lincoln and I had a college apartment situation that really screwed up my credit for a while, and that was a wake up call. Oh, not my fault. Mm. Kind of my fault. Yeah. All right. We realize that big things and even everyday spending decisions can impact long-term financial stability. 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Any other callers to make rep feel better? Mm-hmm. Hey, rent link. Uh, I was calling in regards to the wedding. The best object. Um, it, it does happen to the best of us. It happened to me. I was 24 at the time and had just gotten with my significant other. We had only been together for a couple months and we were visiting her mother’s house. Oh God. And we were on, thank God, like one of those blow up mattresses you put on the floor. Oh, I had never peed the bed since I was potty trained up to this point. I’d never been a bed wetter, so it really was a shock to me when like dreamed that I was peeing and woke up and was actually peeing. That’s the worst. Uh, her 3-year-old who has since become our. 13-year-old, uh, was sleeping in between us. Oh. And what I did, because I didn’t know what to do, I got up and I, I changed my pants and blamed it on him. And then I went and, uh, I just swapped places with the kid who was in the middle of potty training and still wore pull-ups to bed. And then woke up my lady and blamed it on the kid and said her. Her diaper must have leaked and uh, I have not told her the truth about that to this day. So, you know, could have been worse, I guess is what I’m trying to say. Thanks. Love you guys. Wow. Scandalous. Damn. Not to, I mean, I would’ve done it too. I would’ve done it. If there’s a kid to be blamed, I’m gonna do it. It’s one thing to blame the kid. It is another thing to put the kid in your pee. Yeah, that was rough. Woo. But that’s the price you gotta pay. Hey, you go over here. I’ll eventually treat you as my own child, but not yet. Tonight I’m treating you like the scapegoat. And does the kid know? The kid doesn’t know if the, if, if it is. Lady as he called her doesn’t know. I don’t think the kid knows. The kid doesn’t know. It’s like, here, let me, don’t tell your mom this, but I framed you for, I take, I think you take that to your grave. Um, unless it, unless they also are a listener. But the thing is, is that even it’s hard to do now that you’ve told the internet. Well, the thing is, is that even your partner probably wouldn’t, probably doesn’t remember this in the way that they would remember it if they knew you. Pissed a bit. Mm-hmm. Right? Like, oh, I don’t, what are you talking about at the time that. So and so went to bed when she was three. I’m never thinking about that. Oh, that was you. Oh, I’m gonna think about that a lot. You, you did the right thing. You did the right thing. Desperate times, man. Desperate times. But what, so when does this, when does it come out? You know, he’s, he’s getting more comfortable talking about it. He’s left us a voicemail knowing that. The public is gonna hear it. I think this is the perfect thing. You say at their graduation party or at their wedding reception? Oh, you tell the story. Pretty self-deprecating or, or their funeral. Oh, that’s bad though. ’cause that means you guys before, you don’t want that. I just think that this, that’s bad. Confession draws a lot of judgment. Yeah, because I don’t think you wanna bring that into a ceremony, a special reception of any kind, you know? Yeah. It’s no one’s to be, to be viewed with derision and no one’s gonna laugh. No one’s gonna laugh, no one’s gonna look at you the rest of of the night. This guy, your wife is going to be in a fight with you, not because yeah, take time of what you did and confess to, but because of. How you shared it with everybody. Mm-hmm. So don’t do that. And I think if you do tell this story ever publicly, don’t say you switched places. Leave that detail for the audience to basically like ponder. Yeah. Just be like, you know, I blamed it on the kid and the rest is history. And it’s like, but when you say, and look, look at us now, you took the kid and put the kid in the pee puddle and I don’t necessarily know that that’s exactly what you did. A three year old’s small, I think you can like position them off of the pee puddle. That’s not how he made it sound low above. But he made it sound like, well, the kid’s wearing pullups anyway, so it, the, the, my pee won’t go through the pullup and touch skin. I don’t know. That’s kind of what it felt. I don’t wanna think about the details, honestly. Oh, wow. That’s tough. I don’t know about the details. When he was telling the story about being on the blowup mattress. It’s funny, I started hearing P hit a blowup mattress. Oh, because I know what that sounds like. It sounds like, how? Do you know what that sounds like? Well, have you ever hosed off a pool float? You know, you get some dust on your pool. Float with a weak stream. With a weak stream. Yeah. That’s what it sounds like. I’ve actually done that a lot, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I posed off. A pool float with a weak stream. So I know what it sounds like. I just throw the pool float in the, in the pool. Let it, let, let the pool clean it. Sometimes you need a little bit more power. Okay. You gotta knock it off. Any, any more? Those were the best ones. Okay. All right. Okay, that’s good. Um, well let’s hear a different one. Yeah. Hey guys, this is Jared from California and I have a fun, would you rather question for you guys? So would you rather. Know everything that every, that someone has said about you that has been negative, but not know who said it or know everyone who has said something negative about you, but not know what it was. Thanks. Love the show. Hmm. Hmm. Everything. Everything that’s been, I mean, I’m sure everybody I know. I said something that I would perceive as negative about me without me knowing sometimes. Sometimes they don’t even, they don’t even intend it that way. Yeah. I think this is an easy one because then you’re getting, you’re just knowing all of these people that you care about, that you think care about you that would never say anything negative about you, and then all of a sudden they all have this like. Light bulb over their head. I don’t know how you know, by the way, do they glow in a certain way? I just think everybody would be glowing. I think you get faxed a list because everybody, by a genie, I mean, everybody says something negative about somebody. Even people you love sometimes, right? I mean, sometimes I think you would probably know it’s accurate. It’s called unspoken, constructive criticism. You know, that turns into gossip. There’s no way that everyone that you know well. Hasn’t said something negative, and so that would be no surprise and there, right, you might be able to guess at the people who would never say anything negative about you but you, again, this is something you probably already know. The other scenario in which you know every single specific thing that was said, that’s gonna be tough, but you don’t know who said it. I think you’re gonna be able to use. The specifics of what was said to then guess who it was and probably be right, but wouldn’t it be easy to go up to everybody who has said something negative about you and said, what’d you say? What’d you say about me? Easy. Oh, what do you mean? What did I say about you? Yeah, you said something negative about me. I know it because it, ’cause I was given a, just tell me what it is. It’s given a proposition I was given a would you rather. Oh you were. And this is what I chose and that’s how the universe works. So what’d you say about me? That is actually a really interesting scenario to think about. If someone had came up to you and said that, I know you said something bad about me, I don’t know what it was. Well, how do you know that I said something bad about you? Because I was giving a, would you rather, and I chose this scenario and it actually happened. What did you rub a bottle with a genie in it? I feel like the conversation would quickly move from what the negative thing was to metaphysically. How did this happen? Right. Yeah. I think there’s bigger fish to fry. Well, hold on a second. Well, yeah, I’ll tell, I’ll tell you what I said about you negative. Mm-hmm. Just to, you know, just to move past that. This could actually be a way to manipulate people, to get them to tell you things that they’ve said because then once they tell you the negative thing, be like, I’m just kidding. That’s not, it can’t happen. But then you just be in a situation, as we’ve established earlier, you’re going up to everybody you know and say, what’d you say about me? So you might as well just do that anyway, even if it, if you didn’t have special knowledge. Just make that a habit. That’s a good way to move about life. What’d you say about me? Yeah, that’s good because I mean, you’ll, you’ll have some success. Somebody will be like, well, I said so and so. Knowing everything negative, that’s a problem. It’s gonna be hard to take, but you can navigate it in a way that helps you. This is really right. I thought this was easy, and then I started thinking about it. This is why this is a good word. You’d rather, because if you know, okay, virtually everybody has said something negative about me, then it’s kind of like, okay. I’m, I’m not gonna hold it against them because I don’t know what it was and I don’t know to what degree. It was. But if all of a sudden the specifics of what someone is saying about you, the specifics are what hurt. And that’s gonna be a long list. That’s what really, really gets at your, gets at your soul. Yeah. And then, and then you’re gonna be like, who said it? Now you’re gonna be obsessed with knowing who said it. And even if you do know who said it, you might not be obsessed with that because it wasn’t are bad. Both of you could just be obsessed with making yourself better, but then that becomes. You can please everybody all the time. Well, you don’t. No, no, no. That’s not how, that’s not how you No, no, you don’t. You don’t better yourself because of the negative things that one person says about you. That’s not, I don’t, that’s not, well, if you have a lot of people who are like, he uses the word he says, you know too much, but, oh, I, you know, it’s a wake up call, you know? Yeah. Yeah, I know. You know, so I think there could be some good in this, but it would be mostly harmful. This is another interesting tangential question based on what you just said. Do you not think that if you just stopped and thought about yourself, like I feel like if I thought about myself and I thought about the negative things that people might say about me. I think I could, I think I could, I could put that, that list together. It wouldn’t be 100% accurate, but I could, I think, yeah, I have a tendency to do this. I could see how people would take that the wrong way. I, I can see how people would, this would annoy people or. I feel like I could put that list together for myself. And so is that a is versus like, oh, it is true, but these people, if you think that PE there’s, oh, people might think this about me. That’s probably all the information that you need to then know, oh, I’m gonna be proactive about that. I do. Even though my specifically the, you know, and the like thing my mom said, I. Do. The funny thing, the way my mom talks to me about how I know about things is she will start the question with like, do your employees, and then she asks a question because I think that she thinks that like he’s got all these people, these young people in California who work for him. So he must have some sort of like insight into how they all think, oh. Seeing them all as a monolith. Okay. And so, uh, like are they all saying like, and you know, when they talk and I said, well Mom, I’m doing that too and I’m not proud of it. I listen to this podcast from time to time, usually in short clips that show up on my for you page for you and I. Annoy myself at the way that I talk and the number of times that I say like, and you know, and I try to be conscious of it, but I already know that about myself. It’s not a knowledge problem. It is a, well, there’s, yeah, it’s a willingness to actually make a change problem, but there’s some blind spots. There’d be some things you’d learn blind spots, but there’d be so many more things that would be hurtful, whereas I think I’m now choosing. To know everyone who says something negative about me, because then you quickly learn the lesson. Oh, everybody says something negative about me, and that may hurt a little bit, but then you start to realize that it’s just, it’s, it’s a part of life. I’m choosing that one as well because, and we didn’t think we were, I’m choosing it because I. I think that the know, the knowledge of the other thing is too damaging and not as constructive. And the other one to me is just a wash. Yeah. If you had a list of everything that people think is wrong or bad about you, I feel like I do have, it would be absolutely overwhelming, but I feel like I do have that list. I have the internet. You mean because of what we do? We have online comments. I know everything negative that someone could think about me. At least as far, we do know a lot of far as I have presented myself the internet, which is pretty much, but it’s happened over time. It wasn’t like you were emailed one list or as you said, faxed a list of all these things that that’s gonna be a lot to unbury yourself from beneath. It’s happened to us very gradually. Yeah, of course. Um, I was talking to, uh, this is when Mike was talking about this the other night. We were talking about, um, not reading comments. Yeah. Yeah. And, and then Mike started talking about the kinds of comments that he leaves on YouTube videos and. He like read one to us and it was this incredibly thoughtful, encouraging, connecting, heartfelt, heartfelt thing. And it was like, wow, that’s would make somebody feel really good if more people would, if more people took the time for that kind of, yeah, feedback. Put the energy into the world that you want to come back at you. That’s an, that, that’s an easy way to give a gift is just to go online. If you watch something, you enjoy, give, leave a thoughtful, specific, positive comment and also if, and it will most likely get read. And if somebody is with, by us, if somebody is the kind of person that gives that kind of constructive edification when they have something to say that’s critical, you’re probably, you’re much more likely to listen to them just interpersonally. I mean, I don’t know how you would, but now we’ll just know. Dang. My friends that I love the most, that love me the most, that know me the most, they all said something negative about me. Oh gosh, what? Now I’m having to ask them, what’d you say about me? What’d you say about me? There are people like that. The whole, what? What’d you say about me? That I, boy, I stay away from that. Like I just know that people say a bunch of negative stuff about me. I, I, there’s not a bone in my body that wants to confront somebody about what the negative thing they said about me. No, that doesn’t seem appealing to me either. I know people like that though. More of a fighter. Some people are fighters. Uh, revenge oriented people. Hmm. Who are Yeah, just like you. You cross ’em. Yeah. You bring people up. And they’re like, well, and the first thing they say is the thing that that person did to them. The bad thing that that person did to them. Or it’s like, well, we don’t, I don’t talk to that person. Or Lemme tell you about, and I, and I don’t know, like, just that part of my brain doesn’t function in a way, and maybe even to my detriment sometimes I forget. Yeah. I’m not way too people that people have been bad to me. Yeah. Yeah. It’s, it’s freeing to not hold grudges. Right. But to completely forget puts you in a danger zone too that I think we’re both in. It’s like you see somebody years later and you’re like, oh yeah, I used to know you and I don’t remember why I don’t anymore. Right. But I think I’m not supposed to like you anymore because the people in my life who are good at that, right? And some people deserve it. Oh, 100% to be cut out. I’m not saying that these people. Yeah, that’s the kinda list we need facts to. There’s not many people in this town that I don’t want to run into. I and I, I think that’s a testament of hopefully, the way that we go about our lives. But yeah, I, I mean, there’s a lot of times when Jesse and I are in a, in a, you’re in a weird place. You’re in another country eating dinner, okay, and we’ll play the game of who is the last person that you would want to walk into this restaurant right now? That’s a game for y’all, literally, who would be the worst person to walk into this and ’cause it changes based on the circumstances of where you’re at. And, and, um, and it’s just a fun conversation because then the next question is, and what would we do? Because if you’re in another country and you’re, oh, you run into this person, the expectation running into an old friend or a former friend, or. Just somebody from a different part of your life is that you hang out with ’em, you hang out a little, right? Oh yeah. So then you’ve gotta be like, nah, I’m good. And I’m always gonna be the person who’s gonna be like, sure. Like what can it hurt to have you sit down in our table? Even though I’m not even that guy, I’m just, because I don’t hold grudges. Yeah. I’d be the one to do that. And Jesse would be like, look, and Jesse’s super sweet. She’s like, she’s not a grudge holder either, but she. She knows where to put the boundaries up. You know what I’m saying? Oh yeah. Christy be kicking me out at a table, right? Be like, oh, actually, you know what? I’ve got a leg problem and I gotta go take care of that right now. So that’s why we’re not hanging out has nothing to do with you. Another fun game to play, which we also play is who is the best person who could walk in right now? Like really? Who is the who, if someone. That we haven’t anybody. It could be anybody. It could be. It’s an interesting game. Like if they were to walk into this restaurant in Portugal right now, if you had, if you had to pick, who would it be and then what would we do? What would we say? How would it change things? Would it change our plans? It’s a fun game to play. You should play that game with your wife. Yeah, I’m gonna play that game. I guess. Who’s the worst person and who’s the best person, worst person to be? We’re here right now. Here, right now. As long as you don’t say that it’s them. Well, honey, it’s you. Yeah. No. It can’t be either of you. You wanna take one more? Let’s take a quickie. Let’s, let’s, let’s take a quickie. Take a. Hi, re and link. I am calling from Colorado and I have a little bit of a moral question. A very close friend of mine and her husband recently got into an argument about a pretty sensitive topic and some feelings were hurt. Uh, the next day they were texting each other. And my friend used chat GPT to help generate an apology message to send her husband. Uh, she said she agrees with everything that it stated and that she’s just not very good with words. And so she thought the apology would sound nicer coming from ai. Um, now I asked her. If she would tell her husband, uh, and she said no, she doesn’t want him to know that it came from chat GPT because it would hurt his feelings even worse, uh, knowing that she didn’t write it herself. So I guess my question is where do we draw the line when it comes to using AI for these types of things? Yeah. My name is Chelsea. I love you guys. Please say it back. Bye. I love you, Chelsea. My name is Chelsea. Sorry, I just got what you did later. All right. So where, this is interesting, right? I don’t think there’s an issue. You don’t think there’s an issue? Oh, kind of. I mean, well, I, I’m, I, I sympathize because to write something, I don’t know, it’s just really hard for me. I don’t know, to like string together. To go from what I’m gonna say, you know, I’m just like, I like to start talking and just to see what happens. And if it’s, if I’m trying to give an apology from the heart, I might think about some things and then I’m gonna say it, but it’s hard for it. It’s hard for me. And that may be true for a segment of people that like it’s just to, to, to transfer thoughts to writing. That then is. Artful or effective? I don’t know. It’s just, it’s not, it doesn’t come the easiest to me. Um, so I’m tempted, especially if you agree with it. I, I feel like the, the balance here or there, there’s a bit of an analogy with cards, right? Because. Like you’ve talked about, like our parents will send us cards. Our moms will send us cards. And it’s not that they write a whole lot, but that they’ll underline the things emphasis. So, okay, she really read what somebody else wrote and she made it her own by underlining it. This feels similar to me, but that’s, you know, that that’s what’s happening. But you do know, to me, that’s the real issue is that. You’re now not telling him that this is how you generated this. And so I think there’s a level of deception that I don’t think it’s deception if you don’t tell him it is. I mean, if people give speeches all the time that they didn’t write alone, I mean this isn’t, this is a personal apology for something that happened the day before. I, I just think. But if you talk to a friend and you ask them, Hey, help me write this. Now if the friend wrote it and then just gave it to me like, wow, this is great. This is exactly what I feel. Would that be different? My friend wrote this apology. It still feels equal. I think there’s a bigger issue here, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about as it relates to, to this because I do, you know, my wife is, my wife is anti ai. I know a lot of our fans are anti ai, like across the board, like, I’m not gonna use it. It’s way it uses all this energy. We’re feeding all this information into this machine and there’s a bunch of valid points there. Um, I tend to just think that there is a certain inevitability to it and I want to understand it and utilize it in a way that enhances creativity and, and communication. Yes. Um, but I’m still like exploring that. But the thing that I am beginning to see. Myself, but also in other people is a tendency to farm out critical thinking to it in a way that none of us can really do math anymore, right? We just can’t really do math because we have calculators. So, uh, some people have a couple of quick tips, you know, for like calculating a tip. Um, and some of those things are, are easy, but I. I think that’s kind of okay because we do have this thing, but when we begin to farm out the critical thinking and the sort of the processing that goes into formulating an apology, do we lose what we would otherwise have? Which is taking the time to do something that is difficult for you, if that’s difficult for you, taking the time to process. I was talking to a person the other day who recently ended a long-term relationship, and the person on the other end of the relationship who was, you know, essentially the person who is dumped, has asked this person to, in this, in an effort to gain some closure, to write a letter. Just sort of, because it was a long relationship, like several years. Mm-hmm. And they wanted them to write a letter. It kind of just, can you tell me. Why can you, can you help help me understand more about why our relationship ended? Because apparently during the breakup, the communication wasn’t that extensive. That a, that’s a good request. And so I was talking to him, uh, who this request has been made of him, and he was like, yeah, she asked about this and it’s been, I actually am not communicating with her right now and I’m processing this. And so what I told him is I said, well. Chad, DPT, uh, I said, I think you should do it, and I think you should write the letter, not, I think you should write the letter. I think you should keep a couple of things in mind. Number one, you need to be careful in what you communicate because this does not seem, this can’t be interpreted as a bid for a reconnection if that’s not what you want, and sometimes. Bearing your soul in that way can like rekindle this thing. And then she, you know, it, it won’t help with the process, but I think even if you don’t give her this letter, you should write it because you need to go through the process of processing why you ended this long-term relationship. Because, you know, I know why he did it ultimately, and I think it was the right thing. But I think that. He really needs the time to process and organize his thoughts in the way that you do when you do, when you’re doing therapy. Yeah. And so I I, so I think that writing an apology and taking the time, ’cause it does take time, even if then after you write it even because maybe it’s just like, I don’t like prose and I don’t like having to like, come up with words and make it sound elegant. That’s a different thing. I think processing the bullet points. This, this, this, let me think about that. This, this, this. Taking those bullet points and then putting it into, I mean, that happens on the iPhone now, where if you’re taking a note, you can like click on, summarize with this in mind, like make it technical, make it friendly, make it more professional. Mm-hmm. You can do that on Google with email. Yeah. It’s more wordsmithing and so I think wordsmithing is a different thing because that, and I think this, that’s an inevitability, but I think the moment that you. Get rid of the, the, because the processing Yeah. Involves time. So I, so I think there just needs to be like a time when you sit with it. I, I, this is, this is golden because we, because we we’re getting to a place where I was talking to another person and he was trying to figure out how, uh, what to do about a situation with a girl and. He entered all of the facts of the situation into Chad, GBT, and Chad, GBT gave him advice or like how to interpret what she was doing, and I was like. Hold on. Couldn’t you have done that? And, and what did you not, what did your brain not get and not gain by you farming this processing out to chat GBT like you? That, that’s a good question. And I think when it comes to apology, like, say that, but what did your heart get out of it? There’s a difference between agreeing with something and expressing yourself because to express yourself requires. Work and process that then changes who you are when you come to conclusions versus if you’re being told something, it’s like, okay, yeah, I needed to hear that. I agree with that. It, I would, I would not be surprised if it goes into a different part of your brain and into a different part of your experience than if you’re sitting there wrestling with, what did I do wrong? What am I actually sorry about? Why am I sorry about it? And I don’t know how to type it yet, but I am now feeling it. I’m experiencing it. I’m integrating the experience of this, these mistakes that I made into who I am, and then. I’m communicating that to somebody and it’s more meaning it’s more meaningful for the person who receives it. A handwritten note is more meaningful than something you type. Apologies. It is Okay, but ’cause it takes time. But on the base, base level, yeah. All of that, all the time. Like that it communicates care that you’re taking time and that you’re putting in the work. But on a deeper level. It’s actually like an apology is something that if it doesn’t come from the heart and from an, an experience of regret, right, and sadness, if you don’t actually have, if you haven’t processed it to actually feel regret, then you’re just, sorry. You’re almost sorry that you have to, that you did something that you need to have to apologize for. You’re using the apology as a utility to get past something. Like, okay, I’ll say I’m sorry if that’s what you want. It’s kind of like using chat GBT for an apology in my mind. And I’m not saying that’s exactly what happened, but that is why it’s fraught to use it for that type of communication. Yeah, you’re, you’re missing out. On being as sorry as you can be. Like experiencing sorrow and regret is something that then can be expressed. And if you skip to just expressing it and then it’s just words on a page, whether you write them or not, it matters less who wrote it and more of D and it doesn’t, and it matters more of. Not that you agree with what’s being said, but that you’re expressing something true from your own experience. And it is true that writing something does put it in a different part of your brain. It does. Taking the time to Yeah, write it. It has to, to literally come up with the ideas and put them into words. Yeah. And it is, work is beneficial for your brain, but it’s also beneficial for. It. That’s why they say if you’re taking notes in a class, you should literally physically write on something. Mm-hmm. At least you should type it, but, right. ’cause it’s not, it’s going from your versus like, I’m, I’m gonna like to your brain, I’m just gonna like, let my, I’m gonna let Chad GPT listen to my professor and create a summary that I’ll look at later. That’s a, it’s not going in your brain in the same way. It’s not as effective. Like you’re, it’s, you know, there everything. You gotta take the time to process it. And when you just are, like, if you’re reading a book and you stop and you’re like, I wanna remember that well saying, I wanna remember that. It’s just like when you wake up and you’ve had a crazy dream and you’re like, I’m gonna remember that. No, you, hell no. The hell you’re not. And you know you will, but you won’t. You’re like, no, but this one, this one I’m gonna remember. No, you’re not. If you do not write it down, you will not remember it. Wow. I really think, I’m glad we did one more because yeah, that that was, uh, I mean, I just gotta. That was something. So that’s making me think differently. Alright, and we’ll talk at you next week and we’ll be talking to you for longer. Yeah, a regular one For now. I hope that you’re getting some r and r as well ’cause you deserve it. Mm. Hi, rent and link. I’ve been watching you guys for over a decade, so in a way you’re kind of like my family. Anyway, I’m in my junior year of college now and I’ve been thinking about the future and how I’ll be devastated when you guys die. So it would be really awesome if you guys could plan that out. Just like you give myself adequate times to like, prepare. You know, I’m not a big fan of being caught off guard. Thanks in advance.