ramble before you get into today’s episode it’s me trevor everetts the host of the podcast trevor talks too much here to tell you about a very special episode we have uh it’s gonna be all me solo not only will i be talking too much by my darn self but i’ll be giving you all a closer look into my mind the window into the inner workings of the mythical swag lord uh so we’ll be talking a bit more about me this particular episode is all about some of the struggles i’ve had coming out of the pandemic social anxiety and how some of these new connections have me kind of looking deeper into my inner self and doing some reflection so don’t forget to be on the lookout for this episode next week by subscribing to trevor talks too much on apple spotify or wherever you get your podcast [Music] there have been over 50 000 fast food chains in the course of american history spread across a quarter of a million locations but with all that variety and all that heritage which fast food items are the cream of the crop today we ask what is the best fast food item ever this is a hot dog as a sandwich ketchup is a smoothie yeah i put ice in my cereal so what that makes no sense hot dog is a sandwich a hot dog is a sandwich welcome to our podcast a hot dog is a sandwich the show where we break down the world’s biggest food debates i’m your host josh sharer and i’m your host nicole hendy zade and today we are proud to be joined by a very special guest you might know him as an award-winning television writer for shows like the simpsons portlandia and disenchantment but perhaps more importantly he’s a prolific fast food critic has been called the nation’s foremost authority on fast food you can follow him on instagram that bill oakley bill oakley welcome to a hot dog’s a sandwich hey thanks for having me it’s an honor to be here thanks for coming bill thank you for letting us have you uh all in our respective bedrooms which i think is hilarious yeah bill so i mean i don’t know if you’re sick of hearing about steamed hams at this point in your life but to me that is one of the most memorable jokes of all time and simpsons when my brother and i come together to cook hamburgers we exclusively refer to them as steamed ham so i’m assuming your interest in fast food is like dated way before you ever started doing the reviews on instagram yes my interest in fast food goes back to the 1970s when i was a child and never got to have any and that’s why i’m like this today also with video games same thing i didn’t get to have any video games uh until i was like 20 so now i i want all the video games as well um but the fast food is the thing that i’ve i that i’ve made into kind of like a past time should i say it’s not a career because it doesn’t pay any money it’s kind of a hobby one of those careers where you have to spend money exclusively and don’t get anything in return just like i do get a lot of free stuff but i don’t get any money but that’s okay i’m happy the free stuff is fine i can make my money in the tv writing so far at least but so far so good with that yeah i think you do well bill i have to tell you something that’s kind of embarrassing um i’ve never seen an episode of the simpsons and i’m sorry that’s unusual you know many people that have never seen an episode of the simpsons especially since it’s been on for 31 years now yeah give me a good episode to start with and i’ll and i’ll start uh i would say homer the heretic season four got it it would be a good way in um or flaming moe’s uh season three somebody actually made me uh asked me write a list of simpsons episodes for who had never seen the simpsons and if you google it i think you’ll find my suggestions i’m gonna google it thank you nicole i’m so excited for your journey me too that should be the second podcast just an adult woman watching the sentence for the first time ever i suppose we should talk about the thing that we came here to talk about which is what is the greatest fast food of all time i figured we would all three kind of list it and then give each other turns to give our emotional diatribe about why it is the greatest all right take it away josh i thought long and hard about this right there’s a lot of routes you could have gotten the big mac is the most popular fast food item in america it was one of the earliest innovations in mcdonald’s you could have talked about a lot of taco bell items the doritos locos taco the crunchwrap supreme could have talked about the popeye’s chicken sandwich which is the neo revolution a premium chicken in the game but i wanted to take it back a little bit to the popeyes loaded wrap it was on popeye’s value menu for a short run of time it is no longer available it was a single popeyes fried chicken tender inside of a warm cheddar tortilla with a scoop of their red beans and rice it cost exactly one dollar and you could get six at a time served at their louisiana hot sauce the thing that gets me about popeye’s chicken sandwich it is a perfectly fine and good chicken sandwich it is better than every other chicken sandwich in the fast food game i believe but most people are just sleeping on popeyes for a long time popeyes has always had great chicken and they’ve always done great things with that great chicken it did not need brioche to be validated as the most perfect crispy juicy brine fast chicken in the game i think that their infusion of the red beans and rice inside the burrito gave it this beautiful like soul food mexican fusion that is endemic to the los angeles identity and uh ergo cogito ergosome the popeyes loaded chicken wrap is the greatest fast food item of all time well wow i’m i’m proud of you that was really really really deep i’ve been waiting to get that off my chest for a long time no one will listen to me in the real life until you get on a podcast and then they have to i’ve never even heard of that so it’s it’s a revelation and i hope that they bring it back or we can at least approximate it at home somehow i if only any of us had any sort of influence in the fast food world we could maybe try and make a difference amazing i’m curious we’ll save bill full ass nicole what you got okay i’m gonna go with something we all know we all love we all respect and all have enjoyed it is the four piece chicken mcnugget from mcdonald’s the bell the boot the ball and the bone you know what i’m talking about guys those four beautiful shapes why i love chicken nuggets so much number one i believe that it is a perfectly seasoned piece of uh manufactured chicken i think the flavors are beautiful they are complex but not too complex just complex enough and i think that they’re just beautifully soft and wonderfully crispy on the outside i think the breading on the outside is amazing one of my favorite textures in the world is a mcdonald’s chicken nugget they also taste like nostalgia because i used to go to a dance class right next to a mcdonald’s and after my uh three-hour dance class my mom would get me a happy meal because i did such a good job at dance class and another reason is that it’s just the perfect vehicle for all of the dipping sauces at mcdonald’s i think it’s just the perfect fast food item because it just doesn’t need an introduction it’s just perfect the way it is it’s four pieces of beautifully cooked chicken beautifully coated fried to perfection and yeah that’s pretty much it man why four because it’s the perfect amount i don’t need ten i don’t need a perfect amount for a child that’s like it’s like 160 calories or whatever i mean well i’m a child on the inside it feeds a child inside i mean that’s good yeah i would say the 20 i mean for me would be the 20 i guess if i was gonna have to pick a size your choice bill okay all right all right bill what you got i have my list of contenders and then i’ll tell you what the winner is okay so this is good this is a long list okay uh the popeye’s chicken sandwich the burger king whopper prize for mcdonald’s the chick-fil-a sandwich popeye’s boneless wings the quarter pounder deluxe for mcdonald’s the arby’s beef and cheddar sandwich the mcdonald’s cheeseburger cheeseburger from five guys the wendy’s frosty mcdonald’s big mac the panda express orange chicken the in-n-out double-double the cookies from wendy’s the sonic chili cheese tots the sonic bacon cheeseburger toaster arby’s curly fries a freddy steak burger shack burger from shake shack jack-in-the-box tacos mcdonald’s apple pie carl’s jr southwest chicken sandwich white castle cheeseburger del taco double dell cheeseburger wendy’s saw some bacon cheeseburger the queso from kudoba the turkey and stuffing panini from starbucks the hot dog at costco’s food court the meatball sub from subway and they pulled pork sandwich from dickies okay those are the contenders i don’t think my full list has ever been revealed uh to the public but that is the full that is the full list bill i am color me impressed costco i had it written down and i thought i’d drag it out for this for this event uh my list of the greatest fast food items of all time um and you know some are desserts and some are besides and whatnot but you already stepped on my point uh earlier by listing this i would say the big mac not the big mac but a big mac ish cheeseburger is the thing and it’s like here’s the thing like i would not pick the mcdonald’s big mac as the best one i think we’re talking about the double decker cheeseburger yeah uh with sped with a special sauce i would say the in and out double double would qualify there but honestly i prefer the one from big boy if you’ve ever been to big boy it was invented at big boy and and the big boy in burbank is i guess the actual location where it was invented and apparently mcdonald’s in and out kind of stole the idea from big boy um and that’s why the sandwich was originally called the big boy i’ve done a lot of research on this topic in any case that one is of that all the double decker cheeseburgers with special sauce that i’ve ever had that is the finest one there you go that is blowing my mind what what makes the bob’s big boy double decker burger so much better than say like a mcdonald’s or in and out what is the factor that has pushed it over the top for you uh it’s a little bigger um and the sauce is somewhat different the sauce is kind of a ketchupy relish type thing it’s not kind it doesn’t have like a mayonnaise element in it um and the flavors just like lit up the flavors lit up my mouth um and it could just be that i’ve had so many of those other ones that i that i take them for granted now um but that was the one like i still remember that one i reminisce about it where they don’t do that quite so much about the big mac or the in-n-out double-double those are great too though we were talking about the big mac recently and we were talking about how much we love its diminutive size and when i was a kid growing up the big mac was this thing where it was like oh my god this is such an adult cheeseburger i can never fathom eating something as large as the big mac because the commercials i’ve shot with it all like yeah you know low angle and in a hero stance and then i now eating them as an adult it’s like these are like a snack sized cheeseburger i can throw them back three at a time the patties are literally one tenth of a pound you know but to me it’s the perfect ratio like you don’t want to focus on the beef for a fast food burger to me because it’s always going to be crap i agree with you so wholeheartedly and and we all got to learn exactly how perfect the big mac was when they did those different versions of it last year and the year before when they had the grand mac the double they remember that and they had the mini mac which was just like a big mac with one patty which was not that great and they had that grand mac which was the big mac with the quarter pounder patties which was too big and the proportions were all off and i think just to agree with you wholeheartedly the one the actual original one is far superior to every other incarnation of it at mcdonald’s yeah completely i i remember when carl’s jr did their big mac rip-off the big carl which i’m sure you’re familiar with yeah that was pretty good i thought but they brought it back a couple times and one and one of the times it was not so good yeah it carl’s jr has always been very hit or mystery i love the flame broiled aspect to it and being in southern california and also going through puberty in like the mid-2000s the commercials stuck with me in a way that i wish they wouldn’t have but the big carl i i used to actually they were two for three dollars and that was about 2 000 calories and 108 grams of protein and so as a large beefy boy trying to beef up in the gym i would actually eat them inside a 24-hour fitness sauna no looking back is the most disgusting thing possible how disrespectful the other people so i was just steaming you know big carls inside of a public gym sauna has a special place in my heart you did not do that no respect for the other patrons in the sauna so the legend of the creation of the big mac right is that it was i believe in pittsburgh and it was like a rogue franchisee who decided that steel workers you know wanted to have a more hearty lunch and so they needed to like triple stack these patties and he whipped up this sauce off the top of his head that’s like the kind of cannon legend on how it’s created right i feel like i’ve heard that but i think that everything i have read seems to indicate that people just took the idea from bob’s big boy that that but you know i’m sure all those places have their own origin stories that they don’t nobody wants to admit that they just stole it but like that was like uh as far as i could tell it was the originator of this of this genre of burger is that bob’s big voice sauce similar to the apple pan sauce by any chance have you ever had the apple yeah i think it is i think it is similar actually i was just thinking about it and i love that burger so much and i feel like it’s just it’s not a i wouldn’t consider it fast food but i think it’s such a good burger and anyone that comes to la should definitely try an apple pan burger specifically the hickory burgers like my jam yeah i agree we used to get this all the time at this instance that was like the thing also people would also order pie people sometimes would order a whole pie and put it in the refrigerator and just keep eating pieces of it all afternoon long everybody got really fat there i lost 65 pounds after i left the simpsons that’s incredible are there any other like legendary food stories in the writers room like was that was everybody kind of on the same page of the type of food that you guys ate no i mean there was a lot of debate about like well remember this was the 90s first of all i’m talking about the citizens when i worked there um the lunch you know was always a big deal because there’s such it’s such a monotonous uh type of work also this was back before people had cell phones so there was no distractions you know you’re sitting in that room all day long with the same eight people and um the only entertainment you have is the is the lunch and sometimes the dinner if you stay there so it takes on this outsized importance and the problem is people never agree about where to go to lunch because some people want to eat healthy and some people don’t want to eat healthy and some people want to have food that they can nibble on all day and so yes there was a lot of debate about that and a lot of times we just go to places that were close like at the apple pan or islands you know um or just the commissary um but a lot of times people would go would want something that was a little more healthy that was when cuckoo was around if you’re going to kookaroo oh you just dropped the hammer we love cuckoo i i tweeted about cuckoo like like a month ago because i missed it so much it was one of my favorite fast food places r.i.p it’s so good it was so good like but i found there’s a there’s a um a couple of recipes online you can make your homemade kokuru and it works really well i’ve made a couple and i highly recommend those recipes like did you marinate like like pineapple juice and stuff it’s great fantastic good to know so funny i grew up eating kukuru from my west la jewish family like every shabbat we just got a giant tray of cucu so for us that is such a hilarious throwback reference that i feel like not many people would understand but me and nicole are right there with you the weird thing is like totally vanished like it was such a thing it was it was so many of them and it was so ubiquitous in the 90s in l.a and then it just vanished and now it seems like a relic it’s a you know as you said it’s an antique vintage reference but at the time it seemed like it was just a normal thing i thought they were everywhere anyway so we would get food so it would take out on outsize importance and it and it sometimes at night we would also if you had to stay for dinner then you’d be mad and you’d want to order a lot of food to cost to show a lot of money um so like people feel this is the problem i’ll just tell you that they and now they don’t have this anymore they have a limit there’s there’s a budget and you can’t order anything that’s more than 12 or something like that i heard but at the time um in the 90s there was nobody paying attention and we would just order the sky is the limit and people would order stuff and take it home like like i would order several shrimp cocktails and bring them home and eat them later um you know or share them with people um and also like at one time i ordered caviar and that got around and like i got there’s that like that that bill oakley was the guy who ordered caviar at the census for dinner um and like people you know and eight the talent agencies were talking about it that became my claim to fan um but this was also at a time let me say that fox was being really annoyed like the simpsons was the number one show on fox and like we were bringing a ton of money for them and they never acknowledged us like we didn’t get along with the network let me say that and or or the 20th century fox studios so uh at the time we were just like we want to cost them as much money as possible now that was a different time and these days you can’t order more than a 12 sandwich so like things that things have changed anyway that’s my story about the simpsons writers writer’s room there i remember so many jokes that i assumed there were some internal things that i didn’t understand as like a ten-year-old child watching the simpsons where you guys were just dogging on fox like very openly all the time how did those like get through that was the miracle of the simpsons is that they didn’t get to have any input like one it’s one of the few times in the history of television where the network wasn’t allowed to have any input this is because the network which is starting the network was just invented in 1988 89 right and when they wanted um james brooks and mcgregor to you know they had those shorts on tracy oldman when they turned into a series uh james brooks who had all these academy awards and he created mary tyler warren taxi was able to just say okay we’ll do the show but you can’t have any input you can’t come to the table readings of the script you can’t see the scripts we’ll deliver you a we’ll deliver you a you know a final show and you have to broadcast it and they agreed to that wow and it was a miracle like and that’s how we got away with everything we didn’t have to go through the sensor um and we weren’t trying to push the envelope in terms of like language or nudity anyway so the sensor it wasn’t a big issue but uh at the time they had no input at all but they were i mean maybe that’s why they ignored us so much um which is fine you know what whatever we we got caviar in exchange we don’t exactly have the type of budget that the simpsons would have at mythical but uh me and nicole we’ve both pocketed a fair amount of caviar it like it would have gone to waste of course our waste is a big problem in america we would have been i remember making a bologna and caviar sandwich for lunch one day in the office and i was like this is my life now yeah this is happening lots of exotic meats get to go back home to me so got an antelope steak in the in the freezer some some antelope yeah you better be chicken frying that ant i will chicken fry the antelope escape mistake and let you know how it is so what’s it like coming from such a like vaunted network background to now like jumping into the digital media game with instagram reviews well like i said this doesn’t pay any money so like it’s like the stakes are low the main difference well the stakes that’s the thing about most entertainment ventures is that you can have all the creative freedom you want if you don’t want any money if you don’t need any money like if you’re asking someone else for money you’ve got to do what they say and you’ve got to take their notes and their input which is why doing these things for instagram is so delightful to me because i’ve come up with an idea and two hours later i shot the video and it’s out there in public and it doesn’t have to go through the lawyers it doesn’t have to go through the network executives giving me notes it doesn’t have to have whatever it’s entirely my creation um so i i really do enjoy it quite a bit and i enjoy putting out that stuff um because it’s so different than my regular work which has to go through this you know everything takes 18 months it’s got to go through 90 lawyers you got to go through several layers of different executives and notes and things if you’re lucky they’re very good but sometimes in the past they haven’t been so it’s it’s a very different world but like i said it doesn’t pay any money so that’s the trade-off and that’s the eternal trade-off for all tele all kind of creative work you can write all the movie scripts you want but they’re not going to go anywhere you know if you if you want any money for them you’re going to have to take someone else’s notes you know you guys know i’m sure oh yeah well i mean it’s funny because we’re we’re kind of we’re in the digital space you know obviously we make youtube shows um but you know we have a bit of a bigger company than a lot of places do and so i think we really like strike a fine balance where we can you know get as much caviar and antelope stakes as we want with still having a little bit of creative freedom and enough money to afford this beautiful bedroom and nicole is a walk-in closet we’re we’re it’s a converted walk-in closet it sounds to me like that’s like like that that would be an ideal mixture of the two is to have is to have your own tv show have a very proud just you guys already doing this have a big show on youtube and then you don’t have to take anybody’s notes and you’re also making money that’s amazing it’s been pretty chill it’s been pretty chill um one thing i was gonna say earlier one thing that’s super apparent with your instagram fast interviews is like truly how much you do enjoy it and one thing you can tell how you enjoy it is because you are frequent like you do it a lot a lot of people will try and start a creative venture and then they’ll peter out after like a month or two of doing it but like it seems like you’re really doing this from like i don’t know if altruism is the correct word but it seems like it’s coming from a very genuine place it is and thank you like it has slowed down obviously due to the pandemic um because there haven’t been nearly as many fast food new fast food items and there’s also been the issue of like you know there’s like the worker safety and health and all that stuff so i haven’t been doing as many i’ve actually done more homemade things which i do i also do some kind of homemade things like my most recent one was that limburger cheese um one that i did a couple weeks ago uh and that was all done at home but i’m gonna go back out and start doing the fast food ones pretty soon yes to answer your question yes it is entirely a labor of love um and uh it’s always because i want to try this i want to you know i don’t usually do things i don’t want to try it’s i want to try this and then i kind of want to i kind of want to bloviate about it and give you my opinion of it as well bill i wanted to ask what is we just talked about what the best fast food item is of all time what do you think is the worst the worst festival okay this is i’m glad you asked this question the worst festival item i’ve had that i can remember is the tacos from burger king and that was about two years ago if you follow me on twitter or instagram you’ll know that i have in i don’t like burger king um but i do like unless you like the whopper quite a bit but they have all these other crazy things that they keep every two months there’s some new thing that’s all about and they’re all about the freaking viral videos and the twitter you know and they’re all like all they care about is is putting out these hip ads and then getting you in this restaurant to serve you this substandard food and specifically the tacos were the worst of the worst because it’s clear to me that what happened was that some company made you know jack-in-the-box tacos they’re similar to jack-in-the-box tuckers and some company was like we got 70 warehouses filled with these crappy tacos well you take them off our hand and burger king was like yes and then they create this viral campaign which is all cool and they got people dancing in the middle of the street at night with the burger king to eat these cool tacos and it’s and the tacos suck they’re i got the funny thing is that they’re like you know the jack-in-the-box tacos right sure like the jaguars tacos are pretty good i think but this is this was the same kind of thing where they got apparently somebody who worked there told me like they get them frozen and you dump them right in the fryer and then when you when they’re done frying you’ve got to pry them open and stuff in the lettuce and the taco sauce right so the ones i got were shattered they were like because the people who had cooked them obviously didn’t care or didn’t know what they were doing when you they it was literally that you unwrapped the wrapper and it was a whole bunch of broken pieces of taco with like a pile of meat and it was like they were like burger king i mean they’re like black in the box ones that were horribly mutilated it’s rare that i don’t finish a fast food item you know even if i don’t like it i still kind of like it enough to finish it me too i guess that’s the magic of fast food but in this case i just couldn’t i just couldn’t stop laughing how about you josh i’m wondering what what’s your like least favorite worst gag worthy item yeah i i think so many of the worst items in fast food history come from like bill said this stupid viral type marketing campaign from someone trying to appeal to quote-unquote millennial viewers i use quote-unquote because people have no idea what that word actually means or how to define it uh but for me it is carl’s jr’s most american burger does anyone remember this no i’ve never heard of it no oh wait i do remember that yeah it had a split hot dog on top a split hot dog in a burger if you are a diner in l.a like if you go to i don’t know like you know okie dog or even even something like fat cells that’s like a fun kind of thing that you can do it’s not my personal taste but this is carl’s jr they have no hot dog infrastructure built in like burger king didn’t have taco infrastructure jack in the box has been frying tacos for like 40 damn years that’s why when they fry them they’re able to pry them open because they’re not fully crispy on the bottom they’re kind of like steamed and wet so the tortilla is pliable it’s these little things with infrastructure that need you know uh to keep the fast food wheels moving that’s what they’re entirely built on and so they would just split a hot dog open they were supposed to grill it mine didn’t have any grill marks on it and it was just cold so i think someone took it out the package and slapped it on the burger and then there were a handful of lace potato chips on there one of the reasons i love fast food burgers is because they’re wrapped together and then everything kind of steams inside of itself yeah you know and like yeah the ketchup’s always piping hot in a way that i love and so there’s just these like lettuce steamed wet chips a cold hot dog on just a great junior burger and it was just like the the least well thought out item in history ugh that sounds horrible but there’s a place in west la called marty’s hamburger stand have you ever had marty’s they make the best they make the best like split hot dog burger i’ve ever had in my life highly recommended wow sorry i had to have to jump in there i gotta check it out wait nicole what’s yours okay two words chicken fries horrific yes yes burger king oh my gosh i don’t even know what kind of uh witch created those but they are horrific they’re dry they’re chalky they’re weirdly like spicy and smoky they just don’t do it for me in any way shape or form i’ve tried it maybe like three times just like give it an honest go you know i was like maybe the one here made it a little bit drier or maybe someone here made a little bit it was just disgusting every single time i’ve tried it just a completely disgusting mess sorry burger king but didn’t like it yeah guys they’re like i just want to say one more thing about burger king of course every if you yes they’re all about this viral thing they always this is what drives me crazy is like they’re like burger king is introducing this new blank and it’s it’s sometimes it’s like you know the halloween burger or whatever let’s just say that’s the example right and you see a thousand articles online about it and it’s all over twitter and then like you go to the thing and it says it’s available at 12 locations on one day which is like what the why is anybody publicizing this it’s absurd because like if you if every location was going to get it that’s fine you may that’s a bit more of an event but most of the ones they do that have these viral things are only available at like 10 stores in the whole country for one day and it just seems like it’s just this fraud i say it’s fraud i i came to youtube from you know the digital publishing world so i used to write for online magazines blogs all that and so i was the ass who was writing like burger king’s new flamin hot mac and cheetos available for blah blah because you know you’ll get 50 000 people who click on the article and then approximately nine of them actually go to one of the twelve locations that serves it and so like the articles are doing no one any favors except for keeping burger king in the headlines maybe it has some seo thing backing it but i agree burger king was the king of doing these crappy items and their mac and cheetos to me were the worst so were there pretzel chicken fries because they essentially cut a nugget in half and then added twice the breading and it was trash but their their mac and cheetos were the absolute worst and they stole them from uh blogger the vulgar chef who came out with a mac and cheese crusted cheeto fries recipe on his youtube channel and i believe burger king stole them that is my conspiracy theory for the day i totally believe it yeah we need to take down the king yeah we’re we’re a democratic country we’re gonna we’ve elected mayor mccheese we’ve talked about what the best fast food item is but i’m curious one more grand overarching question if you had to eat one fast food item for the rest of your life what would it be would it be different every single day every meal one fast food item i know the answer to this one take it away bill it would be mcdonald’s cheeseburgers i could eat an infinite amount of mcdonald’s cheeseburgers i could i like one time i think i got 10 just to see and i still wanted more after i don’t know what it is about that but like i never get tired of them i don’t even mind them heated up you know because i i recently read this thing about how you can just put you keep them in the wrapper and you can microwave them for 30 seconds and they’re like 80 percent as good mm-hmm so i’ve been doing that too but like i don’t there’s no limit to the amount of mcdonald’s cheeseburgers i could eat and i would i could eat one every like you know you’re about that guy who ate a big mac every day of his life for like 45 years right i can easily see that um big mac is good but i think i prefer i wouldn’t get tired of the cheeseburgers and i might get tired of the big mac that’s my statement thank you amen i back in the day when uh i was growing up mcdonald’s said i believe 29 hamburger saturdays 39 cent cheeseburger sundaes limit 10 per customer but it was me my dad and my brother and my dad would you know hand me my brother like four bucks each we would go in different lines and so we would end up with a freezer full of 60 mcdonald’s burgers to eat throughout the week for three people and so frozen did they come back to life okay after you froze them they did you learned quickly that you had to separate the bun from the patty and he had to microwave the patty for like 35 seconds they’re so thin so they like come out you know pretty evenly no matter what and then you put it back inside the bun wrap it microwave that for 15 seconds then let it rest for a minute and so like ever since i was a kid and i would doctor him up because i was a little culinarian you know i take some like thai sweet chili sauce from the 99-cent store put that on a mcdonald’s burger so i i totally get the nostalgia and it is a perfectly balanced little bite of food they almost eat like dumplings to me like little that’s a good point yeah nicole what’s your answer it’s gonna be an in-n-out animal-style cheeseburger but just a single not the double-double i just love in and out so much and i could i could eat it every day if i really really set my mind to it i wouldn’t feel good i’d probably like be very very sick but i just love everything about in and out i think their produce is the best produce out of any fast food chain i’ve ever ever had in my life their tomatoes are beautiful truly delicious to me i’m a big fan of in-n-out what’s on the animal style animal style is the grilled onions and mustard mustard sauce okay i’ve never had that believe it or not bill you must i’m and pickles in and out doesn’t add pickles to their standard burger but they do with animal style which is why i’m not a big fan i love pickles generally but for me i go regular on my in and out burgers i do onions two ways though as a southern california person it’s like a part of your identity what your in and out order is yeah i know mine by hearts the thing with that places like that is i always go i go so rarely i get to go to in and out so rarely that i don’t want to miss my chance to have the regular thing that i love so i’m always like should i get something weird should i experiment but no then i just stick to the regular order of the bubble because i don’t want to miss my chance to have the thing that i came there for that’s our privilege as southern californians and we accept that on my list i had animal style fries were up there on my potential top along with weiner schnitzel chili dogs which i believe are probably underrated the costco chicken bake and also the el pollo loco three-piece meal which is my every single day i would eat that i you know part of me i like to keep a little bit fit sports have always been important to me in my life and so every single day i would eat rice black beans and a side salad with the el pollo loco three-piece chicken i think el pollo loco is so underrated and they are authentically mexican which blows a lot of people mind they started in mexico and then moved to uh i think it’s on alvarado as the original la location and now they’ve taken america by storm their grilled chicken is fantastic it is dare i say better than the cuckoo roo and so i could eat that every single day it is really good it’s healthy too the meal you’re describing is actually one of them it’s probably one of the healthiest possible fast foods yeah that’s a very sustainable meal josh that’s what i’m saying i’m going long game like for the apocalypse like when there’s only one and also i think they’ve had the best uh kovitz stay-at-home commercials too oh yeah just like whatever you need el pollo loco got you [Music] nicole bill we’ve heard what you and i have to say now it’s time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the twitterverse it’s time for a segment we call opinions [Music] all right first up we got at alexandre mayonnaise goes in spicy ramen fight me nah dude that’s a pasta salad that sounds delicious to me i actually had um some spicy ramen that came with a little mayonnaise packet inside and it was delicious yeah i got it sent to my house someone found my address and sent me ramen and um this it was actually a spicy meagering and it had all the little spicy like packets and stuff and it had a little mayonnaise packet and it was really good i enjoyed it thoroughly bill do you have any strong instant noodle opinions no i almost never have instant noodles but and the thing is actually that sounded really gross to me until you said pasta salad and i was like pasta salad so it’s true it’s all about my preconceived notions that have to be broken down like i can see it being totally good that’s what this podcast that’s what the show is all about great this podcast is mostly about us yelling about nonsense talking about the idea of an infinity lasagna but also breaking down frequency of notions roblox says horseradish is for people with working taste buds i’m okay with horseradish but i only like it on my arby’s roast beef sandwiches because arby’s is my dad’s favorite restaurant so i was conditioned to love horseradish at a very young age so i agree i love horseradish yeah i’m down with horseradish especially at its importance on the pesach table growing up you learn to love horseradish me and my brother we would we would have competitions during passover to see who could eat the most horseradish in one bite but no i dig it i love horseradish i’m in agreement with you i like it prepared like in the arby’s sauce and i like it uh regular and in fact that’s like some guy who lives nearby offered me a whole bunch of horseradish plants and i’m going to go pick them up and i’m going to grow them and make my own horseradish that’s what i decided i’m going to do for this summer very very cool i do like it okay so back to what you asked the best fast food condiment yeah or dipping sauce condiment sauce whatever buffalo sauce from where i don’t like like i’m talking like individual restaurants oh uh uh i can you put me on the spot i can’t do that man i need some preparation time for this it’s tricky because there are so many hundreds of them and even like i can’t even keep track of the 10 or 12 that mcdonald’s has let alone like the 20 that popeyes has um i will tell you that that the one that springs to mind most recently was the popeyes bash sauce from their boneless wing bash like two years ago which is kind of like a spicy spicy creamy kind of buffalo type sauce but it’s it was better than all the rest i i think mcdonald’s has created the perfect spicy honey mustard in the world it’s one of things like i i love mcdonald’s mcnuggets i think there’s also a theory that uh mcdonald’s got the idea for mcnuggets from restaurants like panda express like chinese american restaurants they just took this idea of like deep frying especially it’s a wet batter so mcdonald’s is literally like tempura frying their nuggets and so they had this idea that was stole from like these chinese-american restaurants which i find very fascinating um so i’m also a huge mcnugget fan and especially with their honey mustard it is like spicy it’s deep and brown it seems elevated for what mcdonald’s serves i’m a big fan popeye’s blackened ranch is also good did you have two years ago the mcdonald’s sweet and spicy honey barbecue tenders i believe that was the best chicken dish ever served at mcdonald’s you know what i’m talking about they were not yes they were nuggets they were like these long tenders and they were with this they had the sauce that was absolutely delicious it was good but it was a limited time offering it’s funny i actually uh wrote this whole thing there was a a period where every single fast food chain was doing their different chicken tenders at a time like carl’s jr started doing their hand-dipped tenders which is like their big thing mcdonald’s had them burger king brought back their tenders and i had this wacky theory that it was because of cattle herd shortage and climate change that beef prices were soaring chicken prices were dropping that was also when burger king brought back the yumbo hot ham and cheese i remember that i keep thinking about that name yumbo pops into my head every couple of days and i’m like why why am i thinking about this did you ever have it no is it good yeah it’s fine it’s a perfect hot ham and cheese sandwich which is a good place to talk about you have an eponymous sandwich which is my favorite term in the history of terms uh in portland right now just like tell me about you know how you got a sandwich named after you i invented the sandwich to be honest and it wasn’t like it’s it’s not like the world’s most original sandwiches like i like to monkey around with stuff at home and i was making a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches and i evolved onto grilled ham and cheese and this is kind of it’s kind of a little bit like a cuban sandwich but it’s basically like the sandwich that that i made at home and and was enjoying it was tweeting about and posting on my instagram were was that basically it was a grill ham and cheese but it also had some pickles on it and it had duke’s mayonnaise and it had coleman’s mustard and this really the thing that really makes it transcendent is the coleman’s mustard which is like my my favorite condiment discovery of the past couple years it’s obviously been around for 100 years but i didn’t know about it so anyway you put all that stuff together on the sandwich and it was just so delicious also so gooey and creamy inside with both the mayonnaise and the cheese but the pickles et cetera so one of our local food carts in fact one of the best ones that’s also kind of gained a lot of prominence decided uh asked me if they can make it and start selling it and then the guy justin uh who runs it was had the genius idea of making a steamed ham sandwich by adding this component where the ham was steamed so you also got that whole steamed hams thing which i’ve become famous for so it was sold as the bill oakley steam cam sandwich and it was only sold for one weekend last year and then one day this year uh and apparently it was very successful i gathered that it was the biggest day of the year for that place um both times and it was a delicious one over there and like you know the whole if you can tack it on to the whole steamed hams thing and have it gets a lot of prominence among simpsons fans so um it was delicious and that’s my sandwich the um anybody who wants the recipe uh just you can send me a message on twitter or instagram and i’ll send it to you that sounds absolutely delicious i’m gonna be the first to send you that gm for the recipe so please do i i’m happy to spread the joy with that also because you can’t get it like unless you live in portland and you come on that one day of the year you can’t get it anywhere um and also i like to turn on people to coleman’s mustard because i always it’s such a weird it’s like you know have you had it you know what it is right yeah of course yeah it’s like it’s like yellow but a little bit sweet and very horseradishy right very spicy no it’s more it tastes actually a lot like chinese hot mustard yes like chinese yeah exactly but it’s real hot and like i mean for mustard and it’s like it just but it has this certain level of richness that you don’t get from any other mustard that um so that’s what kind of gives that sandwich it’s notoriety i’ve also never had duke’s mayonnaise we tried to get dukes shipped uh but it was during the summer and it had all like separated in the shipping there’s it’s hard to get outside this you know and they take it for granted in the south and they don’t they don’t just have the duke’s manuals but they got like duke’s tartar sauce and duke’s salad spread like they got 20 different the duke says 20 different things and you never see them anywhere outside of the south so people some of my instagram people have been sending it to me um uh and it’s so good and like it’s you know people like that cupid mayonnaise you guys like that huppy mayonnaise right to me that is it’s very good but it’s a little eggy uh it has a little bit of taste of a yolk in it whereas dukes does not have that juice is incredibly it’s the same quality but it’s so creamy it tastes like it’s miraculously creamy um so i recommend you try it if you can i mean it’s like oh manny all professionally made mayonnaise is pretty good i think lots of people hate mayonnaise by the way i agree but they like you know hellmann’s and best foods are all i would say those are all 90s but dukes is a 100. like it’s just that much better i’m sold i need to get on it we gotta get some dukes shipped we got at fish fire cat pickles covered in cream cheese wrapped in turkey or ham is real good this was like a staple low carb snack as a child which is funny because i was also eating big carl’s in a sauna at that time yeah this is like uh for all you keto heads out there just covering pickles and cheese and wrapping it in ham as if it were a tortilla that’s a burrito in my book yeah this sounds like something you do at 3am when you’ve just lost all hope aka i’m used to it but it’s also pretty healthy i mean like that’s like i’ve see i know i’ve seen that i’ve never tried that but i’ve seen it in a lot of things that are like here’s a healthy snack that you can make quickly you know it’s always in like these diet things yeah just wrap everything in processed meat right well it’s not extremely healthy but it’s healthier than having a sandwich with a lot of mayonnaise unfair how do you feel about dipping fries in your frosty i have never done it it doesn’t sound appealing to me i’ve heard people say it’s good though it’s very good i’m a big fan i like the salty and the sweet and the creamy and the crunchy it all makes sense to me the thing about it is when i go to fast food i don’t usually get fries or a milkshake i want to have an extra hamburger that’s like for the same amount of calories i’d rather have another hamburger than having the fries or the shake and i do that almost every time like like and also i only want fries if i’m gonna eat there at the restaurant because within five minutes they’re gonna be crappy so i you know that’s kind of my standard go-to i have gotten in fights with significant others because i insist on eating at the fast food restaurant and they’re like no take it home i’m like those eight minutes are where the quality deteriorates 90 it’s not fair i would like to eat this in the taco bell that is the gospel what you’re saying that is so true and this unfortunately we live in this pandemic era where you gotta get a lot of people are getting fast food delivered the vast majority of it doesn’t hold up um and like i had like if you live if you’re only delivering it like a block away from the taco bell fine but like the taco bell that i had delivered took like 45 minutes to get here and it was so nauseating i didn’t want to taco bell again for six months um like and i like taco bell so like it’s you’re so right it can’t be delivered fast some food holds up better than others but like taco bell did not yeah the cr the crunchwrap supreme turns into a rap supreme in about four minutes once that it gets absorbed by all the other foods in it and the tostada is literally non-existent after four minutes you got it you gotta eat there and i even have a system for which items like you eat first you have to go to crunchiest to softness from like most likely to lose heat so if you have an item that is fully sealed like a burrito the quesorito is the best example because it is fully sealed and there’s liquid cheese in there which as everyone know retains heat very well and so you save that for the end it’s still gonna be hot and people don’t get this which is why i guess my relationships didn’t work out that’s very wise uh i totally agree with you like that like as we said you know some i would get mcdonald’s cheeseburgers delivered and then put them in the fridge and microwave one and have one every hour for the whole day that’s like the best that would be good like but some food just is not worth it for the delivery no all right and on that note bill thank you so much for joining us where can people find more of your famous fast food opinions my instagram it is that bill oakley d h a t b i l l o ak l e y i put up those videos fairly frequently um although i said they’ve been declining a bit in in frequency due to the pandemic but i do put new content on my instagram story almost every day sometimes it’s fast food sometimes it’s snack food or stuff people send me from all over the world that’s what i’d like everybody to go to is my instagram and follow me and then we can have lots of fun interactions i hope for everyone go follow bill have fun interactions with them it really is such an entertaining and also like informative and genuine instagram page i love it so much and thank you so much for listening to a hot dog as a sandwich we got new episodes for you every wednesday if you want to be featured on opinions or like casseroles you can hit us up on twitter at mythicalchef or and handyzade with the hashtag opinioncasserole and for more mythical kitchen check us out on youtube where we launch new videos every week and of course if you want to share pics of your dishes hit us up on instagram at mythical kitchen see you next time thanks bill thanks bill bye-bye [Music] thanks for listening to this episode of a hot dog as a sandwich and hey before you go we wanted to remind you that season 2 of stevie’s podcast best friend’s back alright is underway this season expands on stevie and negan’s friendship from last season but explores all new themes and ideas yeah episodes will feature an open conversation with a gynecologist who just happens to be nakeen’s sister the ins and outs of eel sex and a deep dive into the most embarrassing items to be found by security at the airport things get crazy this season so be sure to follow best friends back all right on apple podcast spotify or wherever you get your podcast all right i like that me too all right all right all right