I can’t believe the rats in New York City eat better bagels than this. It’s a ratty bagel world out there, Nicole, and we’re just living in it. This is “A Hot Dog is a Sandwich”. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast “A Hot Dog is a Sandwich,” the show where we break down the world’s biggest internet debates. I’m your host Josh Scherer. And I’m your host Nicole Enayati. And Nicole, today in front of us, we have a bevy of bagels, because we are taking down the question, are the bagels actually better in New York City? Yes. Now you and I we’ve… Wait, you’re just saying, yeah? No, no, no, this is what we’re debating. I don’t agree. Okay, yeah. Or do I? What? I don’t know. I don’t like New York. We were in New York together once. Oh Josh, really? I love- Did you have a good time? Oh my God, I could live in New York. You were thriving there. I was really living my best life. Every single step I took was the most miserable step of my life in New York. Josh. The whole city is hostile out there. The concrete just radiates heat. There are these vents all over New York. I don’t know if people know this, that just belch the city’s underscores at you. Yeah. They just go blah, and then just a belch of hot underscored New York air hits you right in the taint. Yeah. And it’s a terrible experience. And they don’t have alleys, so they just kind of put trash out outside. There’s just trash everywhere. That’s not- But other than that, I love New York and I would be down to live there or visit there a lot more than I already do. It’s the summers they’re unbearable. It’s just sweaty, it’s hot. It’s like “The Great Gatsby” where everyone’s murdering each other by the end, spoiler alert, ’cause everybody’s just hot and sweaty and it’s a big metaphor. That’s all of New York to me. But I have had the best bagels in my life in New York City. Yeah, I’ve had pretty good bagels in New York. But now we have to decide why that is, because there’s a lot of myths out there. And there’s one myth that I am very concerned about dispelling today. And that is that it’s because of the water, right? Yeah, of course, Brooklyn Water. They says the same thing about the pizza. The pizza in Brooklyn is better, because of the water the pizza in wherever sucks, because the water ain’t got the right nutrients in it or whatever. That’s all malarkey, right? Well, I’ve heard of the water theory, but I’ve heard of another theory where people say it’s the hands and like the fact- What do you mean, the hands, they got different hands in New York? We got hands in LA. We have perfectly good hands at home, Nicole. No, no, no, they’re saying that the hands like the hands that public transit and stuff like that, they’re clearly washed. But there’s some sort of, this is something I heard I’m not kidding, they were talking about how pizza and bagels, how the bread is better in New York it’s because of public transit. Like the hands. You’re telling me people are holding onto the grimy subway poles. Yeah. Getting all these bacterial cultures on their hands. Yeah. It’s like the way, wild yeast naturally collects in France to make their wines better. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s exactly the same process. They’re doing that in New York with just pizza rat grease on the subway poles, and they’re putting that in your bread. Pizza rat reference, nice. Didn’t think I’d hear that. Does anybody remember pizza rat? Of course. It was an adorable rat that ate pizza. And but then a month later we regret to inform you that pizza rat is racist. That was a joke within a joke within a joke. I’m too online. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m chronically online and it’s a problem. But I have seen there’s a place called Brooklyn Water Bagel started by Larry King, right? Yes, oh my God. And he brought, he had machines that would quote, unquote, Brooklynize. This is in Los Angeles. Water, yeah. Yeah. And he would just, I mean, RIP but he would make, there were these big huge silver vats in the back that were just pumping water with all these tubes and stuff. And you’re like, “Wow,” it tasted like a normal bagel. It tastes like a normal bagel, right? Yeah. And there is a truth to the fact that different waters in different municipalities are different, right? And so, there is what is it? A higher concentration of magnesium- Calcium maybe. And calcium in Brooklyn water that they say makes the dough softer. But I think people don’t understand quite enough about cooking when they’re talking about this very, very small minutia of what is the mineral breakdown in your water. It’s like, no, there are so many other points in the bagel-making process- Of course. That change your bagel immensely, that affect it on such a catastrophic level. Sure. That the amount of nutrients in your water aren’t gonna matter. For instance, all the best bagels are, they’re boiled, right? They have to be boiled, yeah. They have to be boiled. That’s to me, that’s what makes a bagel. That’s what gives it it’s signature chew. And so, the way you make a bagel is you make the dough, you proof it, you roll it out- Punch it out. You punch it out, you punch the hole or you hand- Roll it, yeah. Hand roll it, make the hole and then you boil it typically with a sugar in the solution, right? I always thought it was a baking soda solution. A baked soda, some people use diastatic, what is it, diastatic malt? Yeah, some people use malt powder. Diastatic malt powder in there. And then you put that in the oven and then the steam from the boiling of the bagel actually caramelizes the outside, that’s why you get that lovely chew right there. That’s right. But then a lot of places they started taking shortcuts back in the day. So they would just put the bagel into a steam oven, or they wouldn’t boil it at all, ’cause they’re like, “We got stuff to do.” That adds extra time to the labor process. People just want bread with a round hole in it. And Nicole, that’s how we get such crappy bagels out in Los Angeles. Well, that’s not true, because they have been ton of articles I’ve had that have been saying that LA is the best bagel in the world. They’ve been saying, wait a second, wait a second. They’ve been saying places like Bell’s Bagels. Bell’s Bagels, Courage Bagels, Hank’s. There’s some other places, Yeasty Boys. People are saying that these bagels are the best in the world, they’re even better than Montreal Bagels. You don’t agree. As somebody who used to write articles for a living, you just have to say things. It was just a thing. But you don’t think it’s true? No, I think there is. Okay, there is a new school of Bagel baker out there. That’s true. And especially as regionality is just losing its focus, right? People are moving from all corners of the world, to all corners of the world. And that’s beautiful, it’s sharing traditions. And so, you get some hipster who loved making bagels somewhere else and figured out how to do it really well with a lot of craft and attention. And you open up a spot and you’re selling bagels for $6 a pop without any toppings on ’em in Los Angeles. There’s some good new school bagels out here. And we have a couple in front of us. One second. Can you just say the word bagel? Bagel. You were saying bag-all earlier. I say bagel, bag-all-weird. You were saying bag-all, Not bag-all, it’s like bag-all. It’s a bagel. Bagel, bagel, I have a bagel. Is that much baritone I have in my voice. I’m a gall that lives in a bay, I am a bagel. I just really had to address that. So you wanna try some? Let’s try some, okay? Let’s explain what we got here. So Producer Mindy, God bless her, she was in New York and was like, “Hey, I can bring you guys back some bagels.” So we have a couple right here. We’re not saying these are the best bagels in New York. We are saying these are the bagels that Mindy was near. Yes, yes. I would say that the best bagels in New York are Ess-a-Bagel and Black Seed Bagel. I had a great bagel at Sadelle’s. I know it’s gauche to love Sadelle’s. What’s the other one that has Russ & Daughters? Russ & Daughters, their bagels aren’t that good though. They’re small. So you get bagels from elsewhere and then you take it and get you the fish from Russ & Daughters- And you sit in the park. Or am I thinking of Zabars? You’re thinking of Zabars. Thinking of Zabars, I don’t know. That’s okay. I don’t know. But let’s dig in, let’s dig in. So we got the New York bagel right here. Should we toss, jump into this egg everything bagel. That looks really gorgeous. We must say- It’s thick. These were frozen and we did warm them up. But we’re gonna try and really put on our science hat here and see if we can see something different between. So we have this New York bagel right here from a spot called Bagel Pub in Brooklyn. And tell you what Nicole, you know who says Bagel Pub has the best bagels in all of New York? Is it Bagel Pub? Bagel Pub says that about Bagel Pub. So that’s pretty exciting. Okay, I’m gonna dip this into cream cheese that I got from Courage Bagels. I have to tell you a story. Tell me, tell it right now. Dude, we’re on a storytelling medium. I’m kind of embarrassed to tell you. Why? Okay, so we got Courage Bagels for the podcast and I was gonna put ’em in the freezer, but to make sure that they stayed nice and fresh, I put him in the vac sealer and all of the air came out of the bagels and they turned into chips. And then I thought, oh, let me just open the container, it didn’t do anything. And then they were just these flat little discs of bagels. And I felt so sad, because Navia stood in line for an hour and a half to get ’em. So I didn’t get any Courage Bagels, but I got the cream cheese. You felt like a cartoon when you flattened a bagel and you opened the vac seal bag, it would just pop back to life. Yeah. Yeah, I can see how you think that I did. I can see you’d think that. I did, I did. Let’s tear into some, okay? The other ones we have this to me is like an old school LA bagel. What is it? So this is Western Bagel. It is a chain across Los Angeles. There’s a bunch in the valley. To me, this is your definition of an average mid-LA bagel. I don’t believe, are these boiled? They don’t seem boiled. This seems like a bread roll, you know what I mean? I don’t know. Let’s look at the difference between our first LA bagel and our New York bagel. Well, the New York bagel has more holes in it. There’s more air pockets. I feel like the Western is more dense. Yeah, the western one definitely seems denser. Also got cream cheese from here. Although we got, this is an egg, everything bagel. That’s true. Is there food dying here? I was gonna say there’s gotta be turmeric in here. These are abnormally yellow. Let’s jump into this just like absolutely misshapen New York plain bagel. These seem bad, right? These seem like bad bagels. They don’t seem horrible. It seems like a pretty bad, I can’t imagine a worse bagel than this. No, you’re being dramatic. No, but I feel like, okay, what to you makes a good bagel? Chew, crust, flavor, can withstand the holdings of a lox cream cheese, tomato, salt, pepper, smattering. You don’t like it? This is just bread, this is just white bread. I think it’s okay. I think it has a little bit of chew. Also, you have to remember these were frozen and came back to life. No, no, no, but freezing a bagel doesn’t change the structure of the interior. To me, this is significantly too fluffy for a bagel, right? I think bagels one, should be a little bit more petite than this. And I think that they need to have a more defined crust. I want a very chewy, very toothsome crust. Sure. And then I want an interior that’s a little bit dense and has a heavy, heavy glutenous spring and chew to it, right? To me that’s what separates a bagel from- Dinner roll Kaiser roll, right? And so, I don’t know. It’s a little Kaiser roll now that you mention it. Little Kaiser roll. But I think the crust is distinct enough from the center. I’m trying to discern any difference between the LA bagels. Definitely a little bit lighter. Yeah, I will agree. which is a sign of a nice boil. I don’t know, I don’t wanna light bagel. You don’t wanna light bagel. They need to be… Josh, what are you talking- No, dude, why would you boil a bagel if you want it to be light? It steams. But that makes it denser. No it doesn’t. The steam makes it heavy. Oh my God. Oh good. This average LA bagel is better than this one, right? I agree. Than the one from New York. It is. Like 100%. 50%. 50%. Okay, again, this is from a random bagel spot in New York. But if we’re talking about the water- Did you try the plain one? I did not. The plain one is miles better than the New York one. Laptops are everything. Oh yeah, no, we have everything flavored laptops. My laptop tastes like bagel. That’s good. Do you wanna try Hank’s now? So let’s get into the new school. Let’s get into… This is why people are talking about places like LA being like a new bagel haven, maybe the best bagel city in the world. Okay, put your ear to this bagel. Do you know what that sounds like? A CPR dummy. Sounds like a CPR dummy, that’s because there’s air in here. This is how, you know Nicole took the voluntary CPR class that Mythical offered and I did not. I forgot I was drinking my coffee in my office and I was like, “Where’d everybody go?” And then I would’ve been 15 minutes late to the CPR class, and I was like, “Not worth it.” I’m really glad that I work somewhere that offers me that kind of situation. This is fluffy Josh. Springback. Okay, it’s fluffy, but it has a heavy springback in a way that this also does. That one also does too. Okay, I’m gonna dip into the cream cheese. I’ve been eating all of the separate cream cheeses. Mmm. The difference is the crust on this, right? Mmm, there’s two. There’s no mistaking this for bread. And that to me is what a bagel needs to be. A bagel needs to be so distinct from bread. It’s like a pretzel, right? Totally. It’s like a pretzel, it’s the specialty baked good, it should not have that- Totally. Fluffiness. I’m want a dense chew to my bagel. I get that with Hank’s. Those is a great bagel. Mmm. This is a great bagel. There’s also of course a bunch of really great new school bagels in New York. And a lot of people, that’s something that’s really trendy is doing Montreal-style bagels, which are a little bit sweeter, a little bit smaller, a little bit denser, a more defined hole to it. Yep, that’s right. You know what I mean? But we have to get into the stereotype of why people think that New York has better bagels than LA and why it actually is, right? I think people assume that because New York has been an institution for bagels since what Ellis Island happened, they’re like, whatever, it’s like family-owned businesses and people have been making bagels for almost 100 years. It’s iconic. People’s grandmas, grandpas were making it, passed it down, passed it down. So there’s a deep amount of respect for those that make bagels in New York, because they’ve been doing it for so long. Do they do it right? Now, well, I don’t really know. People can be so mad about the mouth noises on this episode. And I don’t care. I don’t care. I’m loving chewing through these bagels. This Hank’s bagel is so freaking good. It really is. To me it all comes down to the history of a region, right? Hm-hmm. And the history of New York, right? There’s a much bigger Ashkenazi Jewish history and bagels are literally a Yiddish word, right? Comes from Jewish bakers in the 1600s who had to be completely separate from the Christian bakers. There’s a long history of Jews selling bagels to the Gentiles. And that was the first sort of bit of Jewish culture. And this is going back hundreds of years. And so, when Jews got to New York, there was a big Jewish wave of immigration in the 1880s from Russia, ’cause I think they thought the Jews conspired to kill Tsar Alexander II. It was all who had it, the Jews conspired to kill, am I right? I’m saying throughout history been blamed for every major assassination. And anytime the Jews got blamed for anything, more of ’em went in New York. And so, there were bagel bakeries in New York in the 1890s in a way that there generally weren’t in say, Los Angeles. So like you said, you have that big culture, that big history. Not only that, there was a Bagel Bakers Union. That’s incredible. In the early 1900s. That’s cool. It was one of the most formative unions in America. That’s incredible. Which is really awesome. And that was before the bagel automation process. So my general theory is bagel baking in New York, people literally have passed down from generation to generation. This nostalgia factor of I ate bagels from this place, your father ate bagels from this place, yada, yada. However, ever since the invention of God, what was his name? It was like Harvey Lender or something of the automated bagel-making machine, I think the quality has declined and declined and New York is literally resting on its laurels and its reputation as being a good bagel spot. And I think other cities like Los Angeles are ripe to come in and take it from them. I think you’re right. I think, I mean, we can just tell by the two bagels we had. They are miles better than the ones that we got from New York. The chew, the chew, the bite, the texture, it’s just incredible. Shout out to Hank’s in Los Angeles. I think y’all make a hell of a bagel. I mean big time. They do a good job. Those salt rosemary one’s really good too. Oh Josh, what’s your favorite bagel? Have we talked about this? We’ve talked about this in while, but I just wanna remind everyone, what’s your favorite bagel? I’m a huge everything guy. I’ve always loved everything bagels. It’s like the onion, the garlic. Sure. Sesame seeds on there. If I’m not getting everything, I’m getting plain sesame seed bagel. And I get sesame bagels toasted. But everything bagels untoasted. So I like toasted sesame flavor. But I’ll get cream cheese, tomato lox, red onion, that’s it. Scallion cream cheese sometimes if I’m feeling a little crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Open-faced always. Oh yeah, we were talking about that. But I absolutely love a jalapeno cheese bagel. That’s my favorite from The Ralph’s. That’s the most LA thing that’s like Ralph’s bagels are good. Grocery store bagels are like perfectly fine. They’re so much better than getting a Sara Lee bagel, the pre-made stuff. The bagel we got from New York is very Sara Lee-esque. The bagel we got from New York is very Sara Lee-esque. It’s a very bad bagel, right? Which is interesting because, okay, hear me out, hear me out. I think we’ve talked about a little bit, but I wanna flesh it out more here. Is that the reason pizza say is better in New York, which that’s the thing I fully believe. I think pizza’s better in New York. I think pizza’s better in New York. The bagels on average might be better in New York. It’s not what we saw here today, but it’s still probably rings true. And I believe the tacos are better in Los Angeles. Oh, yeah, no, duh. Yeah, I mean, that’s obvious. But to me it’s simply because there are a lot more Italian Americans in New York than there are in Los Angeles. They’ve been there for longer. So you can’t serve bad pizza, ’cause Italian Americans aren’t gonna buy it, ’cause they know good pizza. Yeah, and they’ll tell you if it’s bad. Yeah, it’s similar with Mexican people in Los Angeles, right? Where a plurality Latino city, and so, that’s the reason you can go to any street corner and find someone selling awesome tacos for $1.50 a pop. That’s right. They’re incredible. Bagels, New York Jewish population around 11%. Is there really 11%? A lot. There are a lot of different numbers that I’ve seen, but I got it from it was virtualjewishlibrary.org and that seems legit enough. It’s an org. It’s an org, it’s a virtual library. No, I’m convinced, that makes sense. So this is New York Metro area and LA Metro area. 11% for New York, about 5.5% for Los Angeles. No way. And also a much younger Jewish population in Los Angeles, right? That’s true. And so, to me it’s like you just have a much younger bagel culture. That is true. In LA not enough time for it to really mature and blossom. But I will say the hype around these brand newfangled shops is crazy. Newfangled bagels? Here, there’s two competing bagel spots in Ocean Park, one of them is Layla Bagels, and there’s another one, I don’t know the name of it, but literally there’s lines going separate around the block and people are going with their friends. One person stands in line for Layla’s, one person stands in line for the other and then they get it and compare it to each other. You know how I know Layla’s one? Because the name I remember. Yep. Yeah. There’s just so much hype around bagels in LA though that I feel New York has that hype, but LA’s just going with it right now. The resurgence. Time is a flat circle, right? Food, culinary trends go in waves. Yeah, I get that, yeah. At some point, I’m sure Boston had the best bagels or whatever in America. There’s just the cyclical nature to it is you think LA 20 years from now, people aren’t even gonna remember New York bagels. Do I think people are gonna remember New York bagels? No, do you think 20 years from now at the rate at which LA is expanding its bagel footprint, people are not going to remember the fact that New York once had the best bagels? No. We are gonna wipe the bagel history off the map of New York. We are coming for this spot, Nicole. I don’t think that’s possible, I don’t think it’s possible. I think we will continue to beef East coast, West coast, like Biggie and Tupac and that’s it. There’s never gonna be a right answer. You and I are LA people. We’re from here, we’re born and raised here. We’ve been to New York… How many times have you been to New York? Four. I’ve been twice in my life. You know what I mean? So I’m not the best authority to talk about which one is better. But from what I’m seeing here, I will say that LA’s bagels are better than New York’s bagels 100%. What’s the best bagel you’ve ever had in your life though? Have you had a life-changing bagel? Yeah, Ess-a Bagel. Ess-a Bagel in New York. It’s Ess-a Bagel. It is literally pronounced Ess-a-Bagel. Josh, Josh. It’s spelled E-S-S a-Bagel. So what? This is how words were. Josh, no, no, it’s not how- Okay, listen Nicole, can you chill? Yes, George. No, I will say Ess-a-bagel. I mean, their bagel was just delicious and the cream cheese was fresh and it was hot and it was steamy and it was sexy and it was delicious and I loved it. So yeah, the bagels like that, it changed my life. Courage also here. Courage in Los Angeles. You had it? I haven’t had it yet, I don’t wanna brave the lines. I know I should, I should, I should go. Okay, let’s go. I should go this weekend, let’s do it. Okay. What are foods that you think other cities have a cultural lock on? Los Angeles for tacos to me is a no-brainer, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. New York Bagels and pizza. New York pizza, it’s not bagels anymore. It’s honestly not bagels anymore. I’m so sorry, please don’t- It might not be though, right? The average bagel in New York is just perfectly fine. But it’s not the same as the average slice in New York or the average taco in LA. That’s true. I believe the average taco in LA is so many miles better than the average taco in any other city in America. You are correct. What’s the place Poutine? Is that Montreal, Vancouver. Poutine in Montreal? Poutine in Montreal. That might actually be one, because Poutine in so many other places it’s rat-effed. Really? People are just bastardizing it left and right. Well, people in Montreal, they’re like it has to be a dark beef gravy, it has to have that demi-gloss-like appeal, has to be squeaky cheese curd, a thick cut, double fried fry. And you go to a lot of other places and they’re like, “Oh, here’s some mozzarella cheese.” So that might be a good one. Yeah, I would say what’s some other ones? A lot of just big immigrant communities that settle in places that don’t elsewhere. So Miami and Cuban food. I was gonna say Cuban food. Chicago deep dish pizza. Deep dish pizza in Chicago. Have you had any good deep dish pizzas here? I have not really- Me either. There are places that have done it. There’s a spot called Rance’s that was doing it. Masa, Echo Park. Nothing like it. Chicago one was the best one. But yeah, but everything in Chicago, the average deep dish in Chicago is so much better- Than everywhere else, yeah. ‘Cause that’s , that’s ’cause food it has a sense of place. That’s right. That are created by the people. Exactly. You know what I mean? Exactly. I think the bagels have fallen off in New York a little bit. Bagels in New York, come back. I know. Where’d you go? Well, we just have to tell ’em, please don’t come to Los Angeles. Just stay in New York and make the bagels better in New York. Please, they’re good there. Just work at it, please. Josh, did you even try the cream cheeses, man? Did you even say which cream cheese you like better? Are they not all from the same factory? Are the cream cheeses not all from the same factory? But are they making their cream cheese in-house? I know some places- Some places do. Started making their own cream cheese in-house. I just don’t know that any of these places are actually doing it. I don’t know, they all taste different to me. How did Jews end up smoking salmon? I don’t know. I don’t know, Maggie you Google that real quick. It’s something I probably should have researched before this, but I have a theory, I have a theory and then Maggie, can you tell me if I’m correct? Break it down, Josh. Okay, so judging by my Eastern European Jewish family members, smoked fish has always been a part of it. But it’s always been mackerel and herring and sprats and what are kippers? I don’t even know what kippers are. Is that kippers herring? Kippers. I don’t know, but kippers is like a smoked in vinegar or something or other. But they’re all these small river fish, right? ‘Cause that’s what they could get. Maybe a lot of, some of the Russian Jews are eating smoked surgeon like salmon. That’s not a thing over there, right? Norwegian, right? Salmon’s Norwegian. I mean salmon, it’s in the Americas as well. But I have a feeling that it was just enterprising Scandinavian businessmen who got the Jews to start using their smoking techniques on salmon instead of their small fish, ’cause they can get bigger slices outta ’em. Well then, a Scandinavian guy do that in Japan and tell people, hey, eat raw salmon is not it? God damn right he did. God damn right he did. Maybe is highly possible. I’m wondering if it’s the same situation. I’m just eating bagels, this is my lunch. How do you feel about people just making a classic deli sandwich on a bagel instead of bread? Ugh, I hate it. Do you hate it? I hate it too. I despise it, gross. It’s literally the worst. A bagel, a bacon, egg and cheese on a bagel. Ptooey, get outta here. I think it’s a pretty common thing that people enjoy. Put it on an English muffin, grow up. I have never had a bacon, egg and cheese from New York. I’m sorry. Have you ever had one? Yeah. Have you ever chopped cheese from New York? No, did you? No. Cheese steaks in Philly. That’s another one, that’s another one. Another one. That’s another one that people really mess up. Do you wanna go? Outside that city? Okay, so we have plans to have bagels this weekend. But you sound like you wanna go back to New York. I would love to go back to New York. New York is my favorite city, and my favorite thing about New York is how romantic it is, because Nicole, it snows there 11 months out of the year. I don’t know if you know this. I think it’s only seven months out of the year. I think you’re being a dramatic. Well, it’s seven to eight months, depending on if the vernal equinox has happened or not. But that’s my favorite thing. It’s just you’re walking through Central Park, rollerskating on the ice, but not ice skating. You’re roller skating on the ice and you fall over and then she’s like, “Oh my God.” And she helps you up, and then you both rolling around on the ground, you’re kissing and then, and then a bunch of pigeons just come and swarm you. And one just vomits a cigarette butt right in your mouth. And that’s New York baby, the Big Apple. That’s why we love it. One of my first days with David was roller skating. And then a pigeon vomited a cigarette butt in your mouth. No. And then he took me again two months ago and I said, “Never ever take me ice skating ever again.” Terrible day, it’s a terrible day. But it was so fun. And it was a beautiful, and I will never go ice skating ever again. Not even New York Rockefeller Center, I will not. I will not, but I will eat a bagel. Heck yeah, you will. In conclusion, are the bagels actually better in New York? This test says no. This test, no. And this is a very flawed scientific test to be fair. Very. And our science was based on where Mindy was at the time. Very. And how much we felt like inconveniencing her. And the answer was- That is right. She was near Bagel Pub and not a lot respectably- Correct. For the answers. But I think the general idea of if there are more people, if there’s a higher supply and a higher demand, you have a higher chance of outliers, right? Sure. If you got more Jews, I know non-Jews eat bagels too. But if you got more Jews demanding more bagels baked by more Jews, then there is a higher chance of one of those Jews being incredible at baking bagels, right? Ditto with pizza, ditto with tacos. Ditto with Philly cheese steak, ditto with deep dish, ditto with ropa vieja. You know what I mean? So you just find a high concentration of the thing you want and then you have more choice. And it has nothing to do with the chemical composition of the water. The Hot Dog. “Good Mythical Evening” is back and it’s more uncensored, unfiltered, and unhinged than ever. Mark your calendars for Thursday, August 24th at 7:00 p.m. Pacific streaming on Kiswe. This year’s theme is pain or pleasure. And those decisions are almost entirely in your hands. You the viewer will play a more important role than ever, because you’ll be voting to determine what happens to Rhett and Link. Uh-oh. And for the first time ever, “Good Mythical Evening” will also be streamed live at participating Alamo Drafthouse locations across the U.S.. Seating is very limited, so be sure to grab those tickets early. Go to goodmythicalevening.com for all the details to purchase your tickets. All right, Nicole, we’ve heard what you and I have to say. Now it’s time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe. It’s time for a segment we call opinions are like casseroles. So before we get into that, we got a brand new segment called Poll Dance, where Nicole is a five second interpretive dance based on the poll that we posted on Spotify. Nicole, your timer starts in 3, 2, go. All right, so we asked which is better green salsa or red salsa? 57% of people responded with red salsa, only 43% green, which is actually a lot more parity than I thought. I thought people were gonna go heavily red on that, as Nicole is explaining via for beautiful dance. Nicole, that was good stuff. Thanks, at the end, I just wanted everyone to open their eyes and realize how important it is to vote in polls. You’re a real Twila Tharp. This is your dance for political activism. Yeah, yeah, big fan of Twila Tharp. Big Twila Tharp fan? I’m a Tharp head. She was the one that used the scarves. It may be. Yeah, I don’t know. All right, let’s get into some voicemails. Hi Josh and Nicole. Hi. Good to talk to you. Same. I think that the best and dare I say only way to drink beer is to add salt. I’ve seen this. When I go to a bar, I order a pint with a salted rim. Yes ma’am. When I’m home, I just throw some salt in the can. In college, we used to say, if you put salt in a miller, it tastes like a Stella. Oh. I just have gotten in the habit of salting my beers and it’s made them a lot better. And even better than that is a michelada. But I think we all know this, you throw some lime juice, some Worcester, some soy sauce, some Tabasco into a glass with ice, a little Tajin rim, that’s the best, best way. But really everyone should just be salting their beers. I’m a big lager pilsner guy, though. I can’t speak to salting an IPA, because I think IPAs are gross in the first place. And I think that we should stop pretending that they taste good. But yeah, hope you guys are having a good time. And put some salt on your next beer, XOXO. Excellent opinion. First of all, I hate IPA so much. I have such a nostalgic soft spot for it, because I drank so much when I was a teen, a 21-year-old teenager. Like Dos Equis. Dos Equis isn’t an IPA, no. I mean, we’re talking Stone Lagunitas, Firestone IPA, Modern Times, all that stuff. So I drink a lot of those and I still really enjoy ’em. Especially when I go back to visit friends in San Diego going to the breweries there and you drink some 14% IPA, that serving a three-ounce thimble and it just punches you in the throat. Why did I always think Dos Equis was an IPA? I don’t know what Dos Equis technically is though. It’s a lager, I just looked it up. It’s a lager. But no, I love pilsner’s and I like the idea of adding, I always, whenever I have a Corona, I always put a little bit of salt and lime in there and a dash of Tapatio. But I’ve seen it a lot on TikTok of people salting beers, it’s a thing right now. A lot of what I want from a beer, if I’m just drinking a beer with my meal, I’m typically not going IPA. Something like a pilsner is fantastic, basically, it’s super-clean, it’s light, it’s fresh, it’s crisp, it’s cold, it’s not like an abrasive flavor, but you add a little bit of salt to it and it just kinda- Rounds it out. Rounds it out. Cuts through that bitterness. And also her talking about micheladas, there’s like a wide spectrum of the chelada-plex in Mexican culture, right? And so, some people, they think if you just call it a chelada, that just means lime and salt in your beer, which is really fantastic. Is that true? So there’s chelada, michelada, cubana. And all these terms get really nebulous and they shift depending on where you are, so it’s not like a perfect science. Some micheladas have tomatoes, some micheladas don’t have tomato, stuff like that. But there is a drink recognized as a chelada, there’s just lime and salt, which is beautiful. That’s my jam. Man, I do love a full michel though. Me too. Have you ever had a michelada with a tamarindo stick? Yes. Ooh. Oh, I’ve had the the freakcheladas out there. Oh, where they put lollipops and stuff in. Oh, they’ll put lollipops. They’ll put whole shrimp cocktail in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they served in a giant hollowed out watermelon. I’m into that kind of into that. Kind of a fun time. It’s not an everyday thing. It’s a good summer treat. I just wanna beer. I love a beer right now, anyone got a beer? Who wants to get daddy a beer? Papa needs a beer. Come on beer Papa. Come on, who got a beer for Papa? You just had a bagel and now you wanna have beer. A bagel is just solid beer. Beer is a liquid bagel. Next opinion, Maggie, please. Where’s my everything bagel IPA? Love the voicemail. Big controversy, clementines. Clementines do not exist anymore. Cuties brand used to be Clementines. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Now it’s Cuties mandarins. There are no clementines for the last three years. What is up with that? Please help me bring back clementines, mandarins suck, they’re too sweet. I want the clementine’s back. Give me Cuties clementines please and thank you, I love you. Interesting note about the clementine’s branding not existing anymore, which is true. And I haven’t even thought of that. It doesn’t. Well, unless you go to the farmer’s market or you got a cool neighbor that was- Do they call them clementines? I don’t know. ‘Cause it’s a mandarin, right? It’s a small citrus fruit that’s sort of bred- I don’t know the genus species. To not have seeds. I don’t know that much about it either. I eat a ton of them. I eat three of those bad boys a day. I love them so much. I love them a lot simply because I love oranges. I love citrus fruit. Me too. But a naval or a Valencia orange is so tough and annoying to just peel. And you get a ton of pith on the outside and you can’t just eat the segments enjoyably. The big thing that clementines did, now, Cuties, Halos, whatever is that they may have an easy to peel, peel, there’s no seeds and you can just throw ’em back. So good. But there’s a new player on the scene. Sumos? Sumos baby. Well, I’ve known about sumo citrus for a long time. But they got a big old advertising campaign out there now. I have seen that. They’re getting the name out. I have seen that. They’re getting the name out. So sumo is a gigantic clementine, mandarin whatever in the sense that it has a very easy to peel, peel. It just comes right off. Satsuma, it’s a satsuma. It’s a satsuma? Yeah. Yeah, and that’s fantastic. But I don’t know if, do they just keep selectively breeding? Yes. The mandarins to be sweeter? Yeah, I think so. So kids will eat ’em. That’s interesting. I wonder if they are actually less tart or if your palate is just changed. I love really sour clementine-y mandarin things. They’re so good. Man, I wanna little bit of abrasiveness. Oh my gosh. What’s the Filipino fruit that I love? Calamansi. Calamansi. It’s so good. This is like calamansi. Ugh, so good. Man, the world of fruit breeding though, riveting stuff. I want David Guest to make a mockumentary about fruit breeders. Is that Bluestone Hill, guy? No, David Guest is the guy who did “Spinal Tap”, “Dustin Show”, “Waiting For Guffman” Never seen it. “Mascots”. Never seen it. Fun times, Nicole. Oh, also have to issue a stack correction. I mentioned that maybe Jews didn’t know about salmon. Turns out Jews have known about salmon for a long time. Salmon very popular in the Baltic states. Huge. And also in Russia. And they farm a whole lot of it there. Huge. So it turns out Jews was just smoking salmon. Like everyone else. Yeah, for a long time. With all the other fishes. And then they just kinda brought that over to eventually London and then eventually New York. Why didn’t Jews do this Feast of Seven Fishes? They had so many fishes. They have so many fishes. They should’ve just done it. Could’ve done eight fishes. Could’ve done eight fishes. Could’ve done nine. That’s all I’m saying. Right, next opinion. Do you know what the Feast of Seven Fishes is about? I have no idea. I just saw it in the bear and I’m like, “Oh.” But you knew about it before the bear, right? Of course. Maggie, can we have the next opinion? It’s something about Christianity, bro, I don’t know. Jesus is depicted as a fish, I know that. Jesus’s symbol is a fish on the back of cars. why Jesus’s a fish? Teach a man to fish. No, give a man a fish, feed him one day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime. No, no, give a man a fish, he knows where to come to buy fish. Teach a man to fish and you’ve lost your entire customer base. That’s the Jewish version. This is a business. Why would I teach you to fish? I know how to fish, I got all the good fish in my spot. You come to me from fish. I’ll give you a good deal on the fish. Next opinion, Maggie, save us. I’m not anti-Semitic. Hey Josh, Nicole. This is Andres from Denver, Colorado. Hi, Andres. A slept on food combination is barbecue chips with pesto. Ugh. This works best with Kettle backyard barbecue chips. What the hell’s going on? But I think in my experience, pretty much any barbecue chip will work. Ugh. But that is the best combo by far. Andres. Awesome, have a good time. Sorry to cut you off. It’s so headache-inducing. I just love the verbiage that he used of slept on. As if people know that this is a combo. Keeps sleeping on it. That people eat a lot. Put it under your pillow. But people are just sleeping on it. They’re just being deliberately obtuse about the fact that it exists. Ugh. I’ve never thought about putting these two foods together in my life. The interesting thing about them, they’re both such complete flavor profiles. Yes, what’s a good thing to put on a barbecue chip? Not much, it’s kind of its own thing. It’s its own thing, maybe onion dip. I would say, right, a very plain, neutral, creamy dip. Because it’s already spicy, it’s acidic. A good thing to put pesto on. Pasta. The plainest food. They’re both like such heavy profiles. Intense flavors. Headache inducing. Mashing them together. Headache inducing. I would love to try it. I feel like it’d be a rush in your mouth. I feel like it’d be a party in there. It’ll be like a euphoria party. I don’t need to do euphoric. You’re doing crazy drugs. I was so uncomfortable the first episode of “Euphoria”, I couldn’t watch the rest of it. But then you just kept going. But then I saw the rest of “The Idol”. No, I stopped. Oh. But I saw “The Idol” in one day. You watch all “The Idol”. In one day. “Euphoria” is more uncomfortable than “The Idol”, right? Is it? Well, “The Idol” to me is like a stage play. It’s like you’re watching the behind the scenes craft of it all. You’re like, “Why is the weekend doing this?” I think in 10 years it’s gonna be “Showgirls” level. I think it might be, it might be “Showgirls” level camp, but it didn’t even get to that. It will for the kids. Ice them down for me baby. For the kids, they’re gonna be like, “Ah, okay.” How old were you when you watch “Showgirls”? Well, it was on TV. And they edited it in. They edited it out all the bad words and all the naughty bits. So maybe I was what, 16, 17. When you saw it unedited? Yeah, when I saw it edited. Oh, edited, gotcha, gotcha. And I saw it again when I was older. Yeah, yeah. How about you? Too young. 11? Yeah, about 11. They edited in digital bikinis. Bikinis. It was bizarre, they had the technology. They would walk and be like. Yeah, the bikini would be like trying to follow them. It’s utterly Elizabeth Berkeley though, huge fan. Take that off. Hey Josh, my opinion is you should have cooked that tomato paste before you put it into your dino nugget Parmesan. Thanks, bye. What people, okay, what is up with people talking about cooking tomato paste? Hold on, I’m here too. I always cook my tomato paste. Why, why? What? Why do you cook your tomato paste? ‘Cause it’s in a can and it’s metallic-tasting and it gets rid of the metallic taste. Does it? Does it? Yeah it does. I don’t know, does it? I don’t know, I’ve never cooked. Well, okay, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. If you’re using tomato paste, you’re likely cooking it, right? There’s not a lot of like raw cold tomato paste preparations out there. Well, some pizza sauces, are you lazy? Are they talking about… Some pizza sauces, if you’re lazy, but then you’re adding heat to it and that’s cooking it. I don’t understand. There’s a disconnect here for me. Are people talking about caramelizing it in the pan? ‘Cause I, that’s the technique I do if I’m making bolognese, I’ll add anchovy paste and tomato paste in the middle of a bolognese. Get some color on that in the pan. Caramelize deep in it, yada, yada. But also, let’s analyze a statement you just made. You should have cooked your tomato paste when you were making what? Dino nugget Parmesan. If I had any amount of self-respect or culinary skill or acumen, I would not have been making dino nugget Parmesan in the first place. Man, you need to check yourself, all right? Because you’re coming here. Hey, hey, hey Josh. He’s coming here talking all crazy to me. Josh, hey, Josh. He’s talking all crap. I don’t go to his job. Don’t go crazy to him. Where do you work? He probably is, I don’t know. Where do you work, Library? I’m coming in. I’ll be like, “I told you to put that book there.” What’s with the Dewey system or whatever. What’s it called? The Dewey. Dewey decimal system. Actually really formative, really incredible way to organize a lot of information. What is the Dewey decibel system? Are you saying decibel? Decimal. Decibel. I give up. Come on, keep ’em going. I’m gonna get mad- I love doing the podcast. Get madder and madder. Can I just say, doing the podcast in “Mythical Kitchen” is actually so much more fun. I feel like I’m hanging out in the basketball gym after it closed in high school. Yeah, that’s the same, same. Hey, Josh and Nicole. Hey. It’s me Quinn. I’m from North Carolina’s. What’s up Quinn. And I, and my hot take is, I think that nacho cheese deserve to be on a subway ham sandwich. Yes. What do you guys think? My man, Quinn. Quinn, great. I agree. More liquid cheeses. With ham. With ham. At Subway. At Subway. Subway could have fixed all of their problems if they just got a vat of liquid cheese. You know who did that? Chipotle. Well, Chipotle’s liquid cheese is ass. But I’m saying, but you get some good liquid nacho cheese. Some of the canned stuff at a Subway. I’m putting that on the meatball sandwich. I’m putting that on the tuna sandwich. You know, I’m putting that on all the sandwiches at Subway. I’m putting the liquid cheese. Quinn, you should just tell, you should literally go to subway.com and look up their info. And then you should email this and be like, I wanna own a Subway one day. And then go, and then they’ll pay for your college or something. Smart. Do it. Quinn, I imagine you’re a child and here’s the power of being a child. You could write a letter to the founder of Subway, HR, Subway, or whatever their name is. And you could say, “Hello, my name is Quinn. I am…” Let’s say 11 years old? 12, 11. And this is where I’m from. and then you say, I think you should add vats of nacho cheese to all your restaurants. And they have a chance of doing that, because they can use it as a marketing opportunity. And you should really spread all of your efforts around while you are a child. Any dream you ever have that involves a company, write a letter to that company. Yeah. Just do it. You never know where it’ll take you. Not us, we won’t fold. We don’t negotiate with child terrorists. No, we don’t. Or regular terrorists. We cannot once you turn 18, if you decide to- Then you negotiate with terrorists. Negotiate, yeah. Okay. Do we have one more? Also American negotiates with terrorists all the time. I don’t know where that. We, will not… Who said that? I don’t know. We will not negotiate with terrorists. Was that Reagan? We think literally do. We’re constantly bargaining with terrorists. Was that Reagan, Bush? Who said that? Who said we don’t negotiate with terrorists? You think it was Reagan? Sounds like a Reagan thing to say, Nixon. That was way off. Nixon, all right. “I’m not a crook.” Hey, he said that. And on that note, thank you so much. Are we done? I wanna do one more, no, no. Thank you so… One more, one more. Maggie, Maggie, I wanna do more please. Maggie, round back up. Nicole doesn’t want to go home. No. Hey guys, I’m Lily from Oklahoma and I actually have two opinions. Ooh. Good one. Firstly, French toast isn’t good. It’s just overrated, soggy bread. And secondly, eggs that are cooked in an oven or some sort of breakfast casserole are absolutely disgusting. They’re like textures so weird and rubbery. Anyways, I love your podcast, bye. Lily, coming in hot and swinging with the energy of a misanthropic teenager. I love it. I love it, right? Totally. That’s totally what I want my teenagers to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I go into Starbucks and there’s a teenager in there, they shouldn’t be all Chick-fil-a. I am happy to see my pleasure. No, you should be pissed off. You should have multiple piercings. You should be, you should have one earphone. And you shouldn’t care about my order. You shouldn’t get my name wrong. You should look like you were on the cast of “Daria”. You know the animated show “Daria”. Correct? Yeah. Bring malaise back to teens. Yeah, I want a malaise, Malaysian. I haven’t podcasted with you so long. I don’t know how to talk to you anymore. French toast. It’s good. I love it, it’s my favorite. You gotta get it. Of the breakfast. You’ve got to get it from somewhere good. What do we call, what do we call the triumvirate of waffles, pancakes, friendships? Triumvirate? What do we call them? I don’t- There needs to be a collective name for the triple entent. Like the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, but of. Yeah, like a, yeah. I don’t know, IHOP. I guess, I don’t know. But that’s my favorite of those, but I love soggy, eggy things. To baked eggs. This is a pretty good opinion that I’ve never heard eloquated like that. Anytime you bake an egg, it does get kinda worse than if you cooked it any other way than baking it. I actually really like it whenever you take eggs and then you put cream and then you bake it. Like quiche. Not like quiche, like you crack an egg, you put cream in it. Oh, and you, oh. And coco or whatever. Eggs and coco. Is that what it’s called, eggs and coco? Yeah, I think so. But like the cream kind of caramelizes. Yeah, and then you cook it in a Bain-Marie. You gotta cook your eggs in a Bain-Marie. But Bain-Marie, you’re effectively steaming it, right? It’s good though. You’re kind of not really. Why don’t you just agree with you one time? Lily, that’s an astute observation and I hope that you work a retail job and you are mean to customers, because that is your right as a teen in America. I don’t know if you’re a teen. I have, no, you could be a 37-year-old career woman. Yeah, Quinn could be 45. What? It just had big teen energy though, right? Yeah. At BTE. Sure. BTE. And on that note, thank you so much for stopping by our “Hotdog is a Sandwich”, your favorite podcast that you listened to in the last 40 minutes. We got new audio only episodes every Wednesday. We got new audio-only episodes every Wednesday and new audio-only episodes every Wednesday, wherever you get your Wednesdays. We got new audio-only episodes every Wednesday, and we got our videos coming out on the “Mythical Kitchen” channel, what up, every Sunday. If you want to be featured on Opinions or like casserole, they can hit us up at 833 Dog Pod1. The number again is 833 Dog Pod1. Specifically interested in children who want to write letters to companies and misanthropic teens. Those are the big opinions we’re seeking right now for more “Mythical Kitchen”, checkout or videos where we launch videos every week. What is that, wait? This is a sesame seed? No, this is a copy I got. For more “Mythical Kitchen”, check out our other videos. We launch new videos every week. Is that right? Yes. Did we say that? I don’t know what to say. Hey, for more “Mythical Kitchen”, check out our videos where we make them all the time. Until we die, we will not stop. Our videos will outlive you and your sons. There will be nothing left in this world, but dust and ash and bone and nuclear fallout. And content. And content. We’ll see you next time.