You know what, Nicole? I could really go for a Pop Tart right now. I don’t think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased to hear about that. Morris Hendizadeh invented the Toaster Strudel? You’ve never seen “Mean Girls,” have you? This is A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal. So what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. Welcome to our podcast, A Hotdog Is A Sandwich. I’m your host, Aaron Samuels. And I’m your host, Gretchen Wieners. And “Mean Girls” really is one of the formative early 2000’s comedies. Like, I’m going to be showing my grandchildren that the same way that my dad showed me “Blazing Saddles.” Hmm, that’s so fetch. That is fetch. Speaking of fetch, Nicole, did you know Toaster Strudel once did a limited time offering of “Mean Girls” themed toaster strudel? Oh, that makes sense! And they featured the word fetch on the packaging, so she was right to have not stopped trying to make fetch happen. It happened. And it did literally happen thanks to Pillsbury and Toaster Strudel. But today, Nicole, we’re not discussing the merits of Tina Fey and, oh, what’s that guy, Tim Meadows’ role in “Mean Girls”. He’s the principal, right? He’s the principal, and Tim Meadows crushes that freaking role, dude! Yeah, yeah. No, we are discussing Pop Tarts versus Toaster Strudel. Now these are the preeminent, not the eminent, not the post eminent, the preeminent toaster pastries in the game right now. On the left side we got Kellogg’s Pop Tarts versus Pillsbury Toaster Strudel on the right. Pop Tarts are the original toaster, Strudel are the usurper. Literally only created in response to Kellogg’s massive success with Pop Tarts, which I believe were invented in 1964 and then went nationwide in 1965. That’s awesome. After, of course, General Electric brought the home toaster to Americans in 1909, they were begging, Nicole, begging for a pastry to be fed into their gaping Moz– Oh no! To feed, oh, strike one for toaster strudel, Nicole– A little premature. Sometimes, sometimes it just happens. Sometimes it just happens. And all you can do is apologize and lick it off. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. What are your initial thoughts in this battle? Well, I’ve always been team Toaster Strudel. I know you have. Because Pop Tarts were not allowed in my house. Were Toaster Strudel? Yeah! I don’t know why, I don’t know why. What was the moral backlash? Probably because this one had frosting in it, and I don’t think my mom knew that these had frosting in it until it was too late and she saw me putting frosting on it. And then the precedent was already established. Yeah, and she’s like, oh, I guess the Toaster Strudels are good. That’s funny, so I grew up with whatever was on sale. It’s really funny ’cause I don’t think when grocery shopping, we really mapped out like value versus budget. But my dad was from the era that if anything was on sale, you just bought it even if you didn’t need it. Yeah. And so I had sort of an equal amount of Pop Tarts or generic brand toaster pastry that we got from like– Are you gonna get me a towel or something? Oh my God! I’m sorry, it just felt really natural. I saw the glint in your eye, and I was like, what’s she about to say right now? I’m so sorry. No, listen, if you get your frosting on somebody, it is your job to help them clean up. I love this podcast. Alright, so should we dig in, like really discuss culinarily whats happening here? Just so you know, the Pop Tarts I put in the oven toaster for like two minutes, and then the Toaster Strudel I put in for like two and a half minutes. Well, so that’s like, to me, a strike off of Toaster Strudel. Why? Because it takes longer! Because obviously a breakup of convenience. Oh my God, oh my God, okay, just because you can have it raw, or like unhot, or whatever, does not make it better, okay? The Toaster Strudels are hot– It’s one aspect, it’s one aspect. No, the Toaster Strudel’s a hot, thick pocket of love, and I love it so much. The Pop’s Tart’s like dinky, they’re like little dinky, like, like do you hear this? Dinky! Listen. Did you say hot pocket of love? That’s, okay, a Toaster Strudel is just a Hot Pocket. I mean, I guess it’s very similar. And also Toaster Strudels did make something called Toaster Scrambles. That’s actually a point for it, that’s a point for it. Well, no. Toaster Scrambles are not included in the Toaster Strudel. Okay, yes they are. No, I fully believe they’re not. Are we eating these? Yeah, I’m eating a Pop Tart. Looks like we got the strawberry frosted Pop Tart. Not my favorite Pop Tart. I’m more of a brown sugar cinnamon girl. You know how human memory is like very unreliable? Okay. I think that all of human thoughts and experiences, likes and dislikes, are incredibly unreliable. Okay Memento. Right? No, no, for real, for real. I don’t think we can divorce it from positive memories we’ve had from marketing campaigns, right, from how we want to be perceived in the world. If you were to take an uncontacted tribe, Sentinel island. Okay. There’s a tribe on Sentinel Island, Nicole, never been contacted. People try and contact a missionary tribe to go there. Boom, arrow right to the face. I love that– They’re like get the fudge out. I actually really like that. Respect the Sentinel, let these people come on the podcast. If you were to take both of these products to an uncontacted tribe, I don’t think they’d be like, ooh, Pop Tarts are better. I don’t think anybody in their right mind would– Have you even tried, try the Toaster Strudel! Let me eat Toaster Strudel. Are you not frosting it? Can you frost mine for me? Sure. Or do you need somebody to be assigned to frost your… No. That’s a reference to “Mean Girls,” Maggie gets it. I don’t get it. What do you want me to draw on your? Just don’t draw, what are you gonna do? What do you want me to draw? I would always try and draw, but I can never rip the packaging good enough? I want you to draw boobs. Boobs? Yeah. Okay, I’m gonna do it. I’m trying to put myself back in the mindset of being a child, when I would’ve eaten these every single day. Are we thinking D-cup? What? Are we thinking D-cup. I’m inclusive, I don’t know. Just whatever is like a natural, I think beauty is natural, a natural beauty is beautiful. There’s multiple ways this can go. Just squirt the frosting on my damn toaster strudel. It can either look like eyeballs, or it can look like a weird apple. Really perfectly shapen, what angle? It’s like somebody’s upside down on a roller coaster, and this is how they would be existing. Wait! Shut up. I’ll draw on yours, what do you want me to draw? Whatever you want. Also, that’s a point for Toaster Strudel. If we’re just sort of– Yeah, creative expression. Creative expression. Okay, now it’s like Harry Potter glasses. Okay, I am drawing a hot dog with two eggs. Josh, me and you are actually five years old. But see, that’s what Toaster Strudel does. It makes you feel like a child, and that’s kind of special. Pop Tart’s like on the go, whatever, they’re sugary, they’re syrupy, whatever, but see the thing about Toaster Strudel, you get to play with your food a little bit and it’s fun! In the time in which I have wasted drawing on my Toaster Strudel, Nicole, I could have had three different rental properties by now. Did you say wasted? I could have been getting mailbox money. Okay, so this is what Josh drew. I could have been out there, you know, grind setting, setting up my LLCs. Okay, so Josh apparently made a rocket ship with two eggs. Is that what you said? Yep. Okay. I love eggs, I love rocket ships. What did I make? Booby design! I don’t know, just anytime I see an abstract drawing, I just see my parents fighting. Can you flip one over? What? I feel like either way this is a, I don’t know, I’m eating it. Okay. Mm. A violent red color scheme. Okay, like this isn’t violent? Like the Pop Tart isn’t violent inside! No, . There’s the same amount of violence. There’s so much more goo to the Toaster Strudel. Right? Objectively, objectively Toaster Strudel is a more delicious product. Oh my God, it’s so delicious. There is no comparison. However, when I talk about humans not intrinsically knowing how to feel or what to think, like I was talking about, I was talking to Lily earlier about drinking. I had a $30 cup of coffee once, right? Yeah, I remember that story. And I drank it and I was like– Because it was Yemeni coffee, right? Yeah, it was the Yemeni coffee. It was Mokhtar Alkhanshali, I believe his name is, fantastic book called “The Monk of Mokha” about his work. But he did a collab with Blue Bottle where he had these beans, and it wasn’t 30 bucks, but I think it was like 18 to 20, whatever, or something like that. But I remember drinking it, and I’d never distrusted my own palate more, because I was like, oh my God, I do taste the cherry blossom notes, Nicole. I taste young cocoa. I don’t taste old cocoa or middle aged cocoa. I taste young cocoa in those coffee beans– What does young cocoa mean? I don’t know, but I drank it and I felt it! You know what I mean? Oh, okay. Where I’m going with all this is like, Pop Tarts has had such a better, more successful, more interesting marketing campaign. They’ve done so many more fun– Are you kidding me? What’s so interesting about it? Do you remember the Pop Tart commercials? No. Crazy good. You don’t remember, if I said crazy good, that means nothing to you? Is that what the little blue stripe one? Was that the purple stripe– No, but the blue stripe one, I’m so glad you asked, Wildberry, and then they did a Toby McGuire Spider-Man collab called Spidey-berry. And so I have all of these memories locked up in Pop Tarts, which are objectively, it is a worse product, it is a crusty product. The edges on a Pop Tart are like damn near inedible. Yeah, and also look at the way that it’s iced. It’s iced haphazardly. Haphazard icing. Haphazard icing. And the thing with the icing is it’s hard and crusty. It all kind of has to be because it’s shoved in a toaster, and you’re shaving time off for convenience. I often talk about certain brands like this, of being the victim of coming first. I get that. There is a brand called Arctic Zero Ice Cream that I think about a lot. Is that the predecessor to Dipping Dots? To Halo Top. Oh! Arctic Zero said we’re gonna be the tab of ice cream. Tab was the first ever Diet Soda– Sure, yeah. Arctic Zero, and there may have been predecessor brands to it, but this is the first one that I saw, had like 170 calories a pint and 20 grams of protein. I was an athlete at the time. I cared about that stuff more than I do now. But I was like, I’m gonna eat this. It tasted terrible. Sure. But it tasted like just good enough to keep eating. Halo Top comes out like six, seven years later, and they basically got to use all the science that Arctic Zero had figured out, use all the anecdotal market research, what people want and don’t want, and Halo Top then blew them out of the water. And then Halo Top was now in a race against all of the major ice cream brands who are now coming out with their own 270 calorie pints. Okay. Pop Tarts came 20 years before Toaster Strudel. Okay, that doesn’t mean it’s better. Okay, hear me out. No, you’re right. I think it’s worse because it came before. Here’s a thought exercise. Just because it came before doesn’t mean it’s better. No, I’m almost saying the opposite. Okay. I’m saying that Toaster Strudel had 20 years to figure out a product that would beat Pop Tart. Good, and they did! But they did not, but sales wise? Well, I’m not talking about sales wise. I’m talking about breakfast, on breakfast enjoyable wise. I agree with that, and I agree this is a more enjoyable product. If I were to go to a store right now and buy either Toaster Strudel or Pop Tart, I would buy Pop Tart because of all the memories– For yourself? For myself, yeah. Okay. I would get the Brown Sugar Cinnamon, or the smores ones, ’cause the smores ones, I mean, that was where they really jumped the shark, and they’re like, there ain’t nothing breakfast about this anymore, baby. This is for a dessert, or this is for an intoxicated college kid coming home and they’re slamming Pop Tarts. You know what I mean? So basically Toaster Strudel made the gamble of like, hey, we are 20 years behind. We need to make a product that is so much better than Pop Tart that people won’t even care that they’ve had 20 years of market capital, of brand recognition, of campaigns on the market. And they did a pretty damn good job, but they’re still losing the war. Well, I don’t think they’re trying, I think they understand there’s a legacy connected to Pop Tarts, and it’s really hard to be able to nudge out a legacy like that. I agree. So I don’t think it’s for nothing. I think it’s a good product! But Pop Tarts, okay, again, do you like tarts more or do you like strudel more? Oh yeah, we gotta get into the etymology. Yeah, so the actual dough, it’s like a tart dough, it’s like a short crust pastry. Like very snappy, very dough like. Not dough like, very pie like. And then your Toaster Strudel’s a little bit doughy, a little bit crispy, a little bit lighter. A lot of products have origin stories where it’s like Ruth Wakefield was a home baker and she tried to make a chocolate cookie, but then she went oopsies and spilled chocolate chips, and they have these very homey origin stories. Both of these are just like corporate suits. That’s fine. No, it’s fine, but I’m saying there’s like– We live in a society. But they were literally just like, we are trying to game the market right here. And Pop Tart, so the original name wasn’t Pop Tart. It was just called like Filled Scones. Filled Scones? So it was initially referred to as a scone. These come out in 1964, right? They’re hit market in 1965, 66 nationwide. Andy Warhol, no, this is real, check this out. Andy Warhol, right? Campbell Soup, Andy Warhol, 1962 I think? The pop art movement was in full swing. They literally called it Pop Tarts to freaking get on the upswing of pop art, and that was already a genre that was like celebrating brands in this weird way. You’re not even celebrating them. But, you know, just sort of understanding that these are things that have massive recognition over us. Toaster Strudel comes out in 1985. Strudel, German. When does the Berlin Wall fall? 1989? Is it 89? 81? 89, 91. 89, 91, Berlin Wall, when did– 1989, I’m right. Please give me 10 points. Let me ask, Pillsbury. Pillsbury, Americans, how trustworthy? Okay, we’re Jews. I am, you are. Maggie? Totally. How trustworthy do we find Germans? I’m not saying it’s fair. No, no, hear me out, I’m dead serious though. I am dead ass serious. When marketing things to a mass population in America, especially in 1985, was strudel the right way to go? Lemme tell you. Germany, they do good things. They have great techno music. I have German friends. Like, no, but I’m saying at the time, and I know West Germany at the time was, you know, David Hasselhoff, you know? “99 Luftballons,” great song. Nena. It’s a really heavy song, by the way. For people don’t know “99 Luftballons,” very, very heavy song. It’s a great song. But it’s nuclear war eviscerating the population. Germans made the Mercedes-Benz, a great car. I don’t know if Germans and auto manufacturer, they make great cars. What those cars are used for is all, you know, the history! I would still drive a Mercedes now. No, I agree! Listen. The Germans have made incredible things, one of them being strudel. I agree, so strudel, it’s either German or Austrian depending. And it’s also, again, these countries didn’t exist, like Prussia used to be a country– Which is so crazy to me. It was the Austro-Hungarian empire. What’s crazy is countries that you think you know now are not gonna exist in the future, right? Really? Macedonia changed its name to North Macedonia. You believe that? I can’t believe that. South Sudan used to be part of Sudan, right? Macedonia is a part of Greece. Yeah, there’s some weird thing with Greece where Greece was like Macedonia is just a part of Greece, so you had to rename yourself as North Macedonia. And they were like, it’s weird, but okay. But anyways, the recognition between a tart and a strudel, what do you think more Americans know of? What do they know more of? What do you mean? Like which is a better marketed pastry? Because this is not strudel, right? And this is not a tart. Tart is roughly the French word for pie. This is like a shortcrust– A hand pie dough, yeah I guess. But if you were to ever order a pie, like a hand pie from a restaurant and it came like this, you’d be like, that’s a Pop Tart! No, no, I think it’d be fun if somebody made an artisanal Pop Tart, and said like, oh, there’s like– And they have! There’s like, I don’t know, what’s that one bottle that had the apple inside of it, but it was liquor? It was a bottle of Armagnac, right? No, no. It had a cooler name than that! Come on, Josh, go in that big brain of yours. I don’t know– Come on, yeah you can! Calvados, Calvados. Calvados! Like, imagine somebody made a Calvados apple pear cinnamon Pop Tart? It’s classy, right? Bit of creamed cardamom in there or something. Yeah, yeah! I would eat that and I’d be impressed by it. But if somebody gave me a Toaster Strudel where I had to do my own piping, I think I would be equally impressed. No, and I’ve seen bakeries make versions of both of these, like as an homage to it, especially like the homemade Pop Tarts and whatnot. But do you think if this was named like a Toaster Tart or something. Toaster Tartlet? Toaster Tartlet! I would eat it more! Same. I think strudel was wrong. I don’t think it was recognizable enough to an American audience, and unfairly maybe German. That’s not true. Germans came here and they were the largest population. To be clear, I’m full blood German. Half Jew German, and half– You can’t be full blood German. What? You’re not full blood German. What am I? You’re half German, half, didn’t you say Nordic or something? What are you? Okay, so let’s get into Josh’s family lineage to discuss whether or not I can judge Toaster Strudel. Before you do that, I’m 100% Persian. I’m 99.9% Persian, 0.5% Ashkenazi Jewish, 0.5% God knows what else, probably Alien. And that’s just like someone else’s hair fell in the little vile when you sent it in, right? Like, you’re full blood Persian. I’m full-blooded Persian, which means there’s probably– Well, you’re like part Tehrani and part? Well, I’m Tehran and Kosi, and known as Toshi. No one’s gonna get that unless you’re like two people. Shout out to all our Persian listeners. Okay, there’s none. Maybe like four. You were saying, so what are you? Family, Scherer is a very German name. Sheep farmer. We’ve been farming sheep in the Americas since the 1600s, like deep Dwight Schrute style Pennsylvania Dutch, which is Pennsylvania Deutsche, so German and like, you know, central PA. And on my other side, they were the Jewish German side. Family fled, general unrest– Okay, so you are German? Yeah, so they were German Jews. And a lot of people are like, oh, German Jewish, that’s an oxymoron. People say that about Persian Jews too, like oh, that doesn’t exist! And it’s like, no, there’s a reason we’re here, there’s a reason we’re in America. So anyways, point is I’m full German, so I can talk, it’s true. What the hell are we talking about? I’m so sorry. Why do my fingers taste kind of, my fingers taste kind of bitter. They don’t taste good. It tastes chemically. My fingers taste like chemicals. Which one of these would you say tastes more chemically? Oh, that’s a good one. I think the artificial textures of the Pop Tart. I’m gonna go with Pop Tart. Yeah, these are– Nothing in nature tastes like this. No. But I do taste a little bit of wheat. I taste a little bit of more strawberry-ishness in the Toaster Strudel. There’s something about Pop Tarts that reeks of, we did not yet have the technology to make this delicious. Right? Interesting. I think it’s delicious, but I don’t think it holds a candle to Toaster Strudel, because of the texture, and the warmth, and the pocketness of, sorry, and the pocketyness of Toaster Strudel. I don’t think it holds a candle. This is a pillowy, thick, luxurious breakfast item. The Pop Tart is just a cardboard filled with, I don’t know, boring stuff. Do you know what Strudel means? Oh, I think it’s the act of the, I think so? I think it’s the act of the dough being thinned out, right? Strudeling? What, did you just make something up on the spot? No! Did you just not wanna say no? No, no, no, no. I’m pretty sure that’s what a strudel, strudel means to lay out very thinly! Strudel means whirlpool. There might be, it may have become– Well, well, whenever you think about it, whenever you roll it, it looks like a whirlpool. And you can’t do that if the dough isn’t stretched out. So technically– I’m right! is when, okay, Toaster Strudels, nothing can hold a candle to the taste, right? Like this is dry, this is crusty, and it’s like delicious objectively. It’s laden with sugar and fat, it’s good. But this, like you said, this is warm, it hugs your mouth. It makes you feel like a grandma, but a grandma who came of age, like she had to work in the factories during the war and didn’t have time to cook. So she’s like, yeah, I use canned filling. This tastes like a grandma made something and deep fried a weird item that you never had before. It’s really, really good. It’s really good. These are not like desserts. They’re not meant to be eaten for dessert, right? Also I don’t think these are substitute goods. So you don’t, you think the premise of this podcast is erroneous. Absolutely erroneous, Josh. What if I told you that this was literally invented to be a substitute good for this? Toaster Strudel’s original marketing campaign was, “Something better just popped up.” Better than what? Pop Tarts. That’s all fine and dandy, But it just, they’re so different. Pop Tarts are shelf stable, Toaster Strudel you have to put in the freezer. I agree. Like an Eggo! You know what you should have put instead of Pop Tarts here? French toast sticks. You ever thought about that whenever you’re thinking of the creative of the podcast? Can I say something? I love frozen waffles and I love frozen pancakes. I grew up on Krusteaz frozen pancakes. I still think they’re great. Me too. Frozen french toast sticks are far and away the worst frozen breakfast product. I think they’re awful. There’s just something about ’em that is so far from actual French toast. Really? Yeah, what is it? It’s like they– I love them! They’re hard, they’re crusty. No, they’re soft in the middle. Yeah, but they’re still like wet and chewy? There’s a skin on them. It seems as though you are not following the directions on the box. I’m probably not. Yeah, because every time I had ’em, they were like fluffy on the inside, and then kind of a little bit crisp on the outside. Read the directions on the box. I can’t stop eating the Pop Tart. It calls to me like a siren song. That’s me with the Toaster Strudel. And it sounds like crazy good! Neither of you remember the crazy good? I think so. They did these weird animated– They’re like, crazy good! Did they do this? There was one where a man jumps into a kangaroo’s pouch, a kangaroo steals a man’s Pop Tart. Kangaroo eats Pop Tart, man is quite mad about it. Jumps into the kangaroo’s pouch, starts throwing out like tires and old boots, and must plunge his hand into the kangaroo’s stomach, and rips out a fully intact Pop Tart, implying many things about a kangaroo’s anatomy that I don’t believe to be true. Speaking of these not being substitute goods, we can agree that neither of these should be like a breakfast, right? This should have been called, the Toaster Strudel should have been called a toaster danish. If it wanted to be a breakfast item? It is a breakfast item. Okay, but strudel is not eaten for breakfast. Neither is a tart, to be clear. Right? Yeah. So you’re saying if this wanted to be a direct substitute good of a Pop Tart, it would’ve been called a toaster danish? Yes. Do they make toaster danishes, because I would like to have them. They should. What about microwave danish instead of toaster danish. Yeah, why are both of these uniquely toastable products? I don’t know. I guess, I wonder if more Americans now have toasters, or more Americans in, say 1965. Probably they do, Well, I am a toaster oven girl. So I have a toaster oven. Are you toaster oven, or are you toaster? So I hate toast, I hate toasters, just ’cause I don’t make toast, and if I do, I just put it under the full oven broiler. But I almost never make toast. I like bread but I’ll pan fry it, you know? Okay. I just kinda put bread in a pan with some oil. Okay, no, see, I, oh, danish rings! Oh my gosh, Kellogg’s Danish Rings! Wait, Maggie, when were Kellogg’s Danish Rings invented? That looks like a grosse bagel. Wait, hold on. So we have just learned new information from producer Maggie, that Kellogg’s once invented a product called Danish Rings that looks very similar to Toaster Strudel. Kellogg’s owned Pop Tart, right? Toaster Strudel owned by Pillsbury, which is owned by, 1968, Danish go arounds. What happened? So Toaster Strudel wasn’t just invented, Nicole, to try and compete with Pop Tart. It was invented because the dearth of Kellogg’s Danish Rings no longer being on the market. Utterly fascinating. You know what I think is really funny? That you look like Dwight Schrute more than I thought you did? No, I was gonna like– It’s the glasses. I was gonna talk about, like– You look like you could be related to Dwight Schrute. I was gonna talk about wheat milling production back in the 1800’s actually. I’m sorry, I’m not here to bother– Is it bad that I act more like Dwight Schrute than I should? In this podcast, you’re pure Dwight Schrute. You’re like pure Dwight Schrute and it’s ridiculous. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Continue! Pillsbury was the second company in America to use steel rollers to mill wheat. General Mills, number one. General Mills, they wait 150 years, Nicole, 150 years to then buy Pillsbury. But then antitrust laws in America say, you gotta give some of it back, General Mills, you own too much. Kellogg’s yearly profit, 15 billion. Revenue, whatever. General Mills yearly revenue, 20 billion! I mean, these are two men, that’s what we’re fighting for. We were fighting for the attention of two giant mill production zempies. So this is Kellogg. So Pop Tart is Kellogg’s? Yeah, founded by of course John Harvey Kellogg, who believed in yogurt enemas up the bum bum. And then the Toaster Strudel was invented by Pillsbury. Illinois Congressman, so no, Pillsbury, General Mills. Yeah, it was invented by Pillsbury. Okay, can you do the Pillsbury Doughboy noise? No! No, it’s like a giggle. No, okay. It’s like you poke his stomach and he goes, hoo-hoo! When I think of the Pillsbury Doughboy noise, I just think of Damon Wayans in the movie “Major Pain.” Have you ever seen that? No. Incredible. Somebody look it up, I don’t know if it holds up, but anyways, he goes and talks to one of his, he’s like an ROTC instructor, and he goes– Calls someone doughboy? Yeah, he goes, “if I poke you in the stomach, will you go like the Pillsbury Doughboy?” And it’s like one of my favorite delivered lines ever. I love me some of the Wayans family. What I’m saying is both of these are desserts, right? They’re not breakfast. Well, I like a savory dessert. I like a savory breakfast more than a sweet breakfast. So I agree. Yeah. We have to look though at the utility of both of these being eaten for breakfast. You know what I mean? I will say, this mimics strudel more than this mimics a tart. Okay, Josh, you need to think about who this is marketed to. This is marketed to children. 60% of Pop Tart consumers are children. You have to think about this from a busy consumer, like mom, dad, whatever. So you’re trying to get your kid to shut up while it’s the morning time, and the only way you can get them to shut up is if they do creative activities a lot of the time, so like they’re busy with their food. And the Toaster Strudel does that, because they have this little snot rocket of icing where they can draw on their food. You don’t get that– Give ’em a Sharpie and a Pop Tart! Why would I do that? So they could draw on their food! They can’t eat Sharpies. It’s better, it’s a better product. Having screaming children, being a screaming child yourself, Pop Tarts are significantly better because there’s not a five minute wait time of putting this in a toaster, you know, and then waiting for it to cool. Oh my God, imagine how your child– You can also microwave it under the same thing. Your large son will just be screaming, . I wanna watch YouTube on my iPhone 19! Ah, he will scream, and it’s gonna keep going for three minutes while that’s there. Then he burns his mouth and goes, . No. See, this is the problem– It’s quick, it’s there, you don’t even have to toast it. Josh, if you have a large son and they have problems with timing. Julia’s uncle’s like six five. My son’s gonna be so big. I think you’re gonna have a waifish child that you’re gonna have to bottle feed till they’re nine. Sickly Victorian ones. No, God forbid. You’re going to, so whenever you have a child and they have no patience, you know what you do to test the filling? You cut it in half and you put it on your chin to see if it’s hot enough. What the hell are we talking about? What the hell are you talking about with this one? No, I’m talking about, the Berlin Wall, five years before, it may work that Toaster Strudel’s the reason why. Josh! You know, they might even– Josh! What, go ahead, go ahead. Who wins in the debate versus Pop Tarts and Toaster Strudels? Toaster Strudels tastes infinitely better, however, Pop Tarts had 20 years of just advanced marketing campaigns preying on the whims of children. I will continue to buy Pop Tarts till the day I die, because of the Toby McGuire Spidey-berry Pop Tarts that I loved so, Nicole. Also Pop Tarts, I think more utility. It’s a grab and go breakfast item. This is effectively a substitute good for a granola bar, which we’ve all seen have a massive rise. People, Americans now are too hurried, too just mired in wage slavery to even pour themselves a bowl of cereal, Nicole. That’s why people don’t do it. They’re eating yogurt out of a cup. They’re sucking down Pop Tarts. There’s no room in American society to eat Toaster Strudel. We don’t even have three minutes anymore. I say make room, make time. Life’s precious, do things that make you happy. Do things that make you feel good. If that’s drawing boobs on Toaster Strudel, do it, It’s better than Pop Tarts. Thanks for watching. All right, Nicole. We’ve heard what you and I have to say. And now, well, it’s time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe. It’s time for a segment we call… “Opinions Are Like Casseroles.” But before we get to that, it’s everybody’s favorite segment, “Review a Review”, where I am going to review one of your reviews from Apple Podcast. Please go to Apple Podcast, give us five stars. Please give us five stars, we’re like Uber drivers. Give us five stars. Yeah, we need them or else we get fired from podcast.org. All right, first up we got Leah Fine. “Fun and funny food fans. The two hosts are young, funny, and interact like siblings in the best way. Enjoyable debates interspersed with foodie information, good guests and engaging topics.” I rate that five stars, I mean? That’s a five star review. Leah, you really covered the breadth of it, and you called us young. Do you think we interact like siblings? I think so, yeah. I think we have a jocular sort of style with each other, kind of needling in each other, but in a way that we obviously respect each other. And we have a close– Huh, I don’t think me and you operate like siblings actually. What do you think we operate like? I don’t know. Like podcast co-hosts? I don’t know, no. Because that feels weird and impersonal. I just said I think we’re like siblings, and you’re like, we’re just podcasters– We’re not though! I think we’re just friends. Yeah. Because if you were my sibling, I’d be a lot harsher with you, like a lot harsher. Don’t do that, I can’t handle it– Like a lot harsher. Yeah, yeah. I feel like you’d, like if I was your sister, you’d put me in a headlock or something. I have never assaulted Nicole at work, to be clear. I feel like you’d do a lot of this. Noogie-noogie. I’ve never noogied Nicole or any other co-worker. Like if you had a sibling that was a year, because I’m a year younger than you, right? Yeah. Like if you had a year younger than you sister, you wouldn’t noogie her? I don’t know, ’cause I was the younger, I can only speak from the younger siblings perspective– You would totally! My brother used to pin me down , and then he would like droop a loogie down and go, , and then spit it up. But of course that loogie’s gonna fall one day, and it’s gonna hit you in the eye and you start crying, and then he goes, I didn’t even mean to, I was trying to do a funny joke! And you’re like, it’s a joke to him. Joke for who? It’s not a joke for me, that you’d spit on my face. So yeah, I don’t think, also all my siblings are so much older than me, and it’s so impersonal. I don’t even know them. Yeah. So I don’t think we’re siblings. Alright, Maggie. Play that first opinion. We could talk about it– Hey Josh and Nicole. So I was making a potato curry, Indian style, and I realized my coconut milk had expired, so I substituted it with condensed sweetened milk, and added a bunch of limes, lemons, and some rice water vinegar, rice wine vinegar to help make it a little less sweet. And I bet if you gaslight someone hard enough, they could think it’s a traditional Indian sweet dessert. What are your thoughts? If you wanna hear our thoughts on a man substituting sweetened condensed milk for coconut milk in his, what, Aloo? What’s it called? Aloo Masala? I don’t know, Indian potato curry. Go and head over to the audio only version on Spotify or Apple Podcast, wherever you get your podcasts. That’s it from us today, hope you learned something. Every Wednesday, we got our audio only versions out, and then every Sunday, we got our videos. Keep listening. Yeah, if you wanna be featured on “Opinions Are Like Casseroles,” you can hit us up at DOG-POD1. The number again is DOG-POD1. Does that mean I can take my lip gloss off? Yeah! Take your lip gloss off, dude. Or rub a bunch of salt on it, it helps. YouTube, we do it! Like other videos, you should watch them. Mythical Kitchen YouTube channel, you know the drill. See y’all next time.