Hey, can I get a burrito bowl with steak, uh, brown rice, your corn, the red salsa, and then guacamole. Nicole, we are literally recording right now. You were supposed to order lunch like four hours ago. What does that say about me? That you’re unprepared and don’t know when to order lunch? No, no, the name of the podcast is, “What does My Chipotle Order Say About Me?” Ha, ha, keep your horoscopes out of my barbacoa, Nicole. This is “A Hotdog Is A Sandwich.” Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hotdog is a sandwich. A hotdog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, “A Hotdog Is A Sandwich,” the show we break down the world’s big internet debates. I’m your host Josh Scherer. And, I’m your host, Nicole Enayati. And what you just saw there is a little bit of improv acting, because we did indeed know that we are doing an episode about what your Chipotle orders say about you. Did you like it? I thought, I don’t know. I feel, I almost feel a bit either- As a glib. Wooden or over-animated. You’re not glib. As a glib. I think you play glib well. Okay. Did you see “Theater Camp” the movie? No, I’m watching it on Saturday with my friend Erica. Are you really? Oh my God. We’re getting together to one of our houses, and we’re gonna just have a big bowl of popcorn, and we’re gonna watch “Theater Camp” together. Molly Gordon, Ben Platt, Ayo Edebiri, Jimmy… This isn’t an ad. We just, I watched it and I loved it, especially ’cause Julia, that was like her life was growing up going to theater camp. Yeah. And I don’t think I’m very good at reading any script or acting. I just furrow my brow and go, “Oh, oh,” on everything. And I don’t think I’m very good at it. But what I am good at, Nicole, is sucking down guacamole and grilled chicken from a fast-food restaurant that is generally ordered through an app. Do you mean Chipotle? I do mean Chipotle, yeah. Okay. So, okay. Chipotle really fascinates me because it is one of the most ordered items on all of Postmates, GrubHub, DoorDash- Hmm. whatever freaking app- Nice. That they’re on. Gamers have gotten their own signature- CouRage Dunlop. Didn’t he come here and do a whole fancy fast food about it? We did a fancy fast food about the Jack JD CouRage Dunlop Bowl. That’s so funny. And I don’t remember what he got. I know we got double corn salsa, which is how I knew that I could trust him. It’s double chicken, extra brown rice, tomatillo green salsa, extra roasted chili corn salsa. Well, let’s start it right now. What do you think this says about CouRage Dunlap? Where’s the green? Where’s the green, Jack? I need a little bit of vegetation. You know where they say the corn, you know, they say the green tomatillo. No, I need the crunch. I don’t think there’s much crunch in this bowl. I think he’s safe. But the double corn, Safe man. the double corn adds a lot of flavor. But corn- No. Sweetcorn is… I mean it’s a very Mexican ingredient, of course. My, like maize is, or not maize, elote. It’s starchy. Yeah, it’s like starch on starch though. It’s still sweet and crunchy. What this bowl says about me is I grew up as the picky eater without any introduction. Sure. To like complex foods, or foods from other cultures. But I’m trying, and I love that about it. Okay. Huh. I love that about it. Do you know what I think Chipotle actually does? What? I think they get certain influencers and stuff, and then they say, “Hey, our sales on the blah, blah, blah aren’t as high as they used to be. Can you say you like this in your bowl? We’ll see how sales go, and then we give you money.” I don’t think they did that with this because- No, with this. Chipotle certainly needs no help selling chicken and corn. I’m not saying this. I’m saying there, there might be something that they’ve done in the past. If they haven’t, they should because- That’s interesting. It’s a good idea. Put me on your marketing team, Chipotle. I, here’s the thing about Chipotle. I started going to Chipotle first in 2006. I remember the first time I went- Do you remember the, the year you started eating Chipotle? Have you met me my brain’s all messed up. That’s weird. It notices things like this, but not like, you know, I don’t know where’s- When to pick up your clothes? What? And put ’em away. Oh yeah, no underwear is on the floor Julie and I spoke before. Always, wait really? Continue. Don’t talk to her. Anyways, I first went to Chipotle in 2006, and back then it was like, it was new and it was exciting. Of course it started in the 90s- In Colorado, founded by a dude named Steve Ells- Cool. who is not from Mexico That’s fine. As you might notice by the name. The food is good No, it’s totally fine, but I’m saying a lot of people consider Chipotle to be very whitewashed. It is. It is but also, do things so much better than the other Mexican chains that would be considered whitewashed. Consider, like, Taco Bell. When they started, granted, they had a 30- Chipotle Yeah. Had a 30 year headstart on Taco Bell. Yeah. When Taco Bell started, they made something called the “Bell Beefer.” Yeah. Those are hamburger bun with ground “taco meat” in it. Yeah. I Love, I mean, I love Baja Fresh to this day. Baja Fresh. They do great work. Yeah. Baja Fresh is delicious, and I think it’s kind of like a one-to-one. The only thing is you don’t have that bar, that Subway-style bar to pick your own adventure. Yeah. Chipotle did a lot of incredible things, and there would be, there’d be no Kava if you know Kava Mediterranean Grill. Yes, sure. Kava. It’s the Mediterranean Chipotle. Also, Chipotle tried to start a “Pan-Asian” Chipotle. Which I love. What was it called? Called ShopHouse. They had one on the Third Street Promenade. Incredible. Yeah. It was really good. You could get rice noodles, you could get brown rice, white rice. And they had these Thai curry-ish meatballs, and they did fish sauce vinaigrette. Yeah. I loved it. I loved it. But anyways, so many of these restaurants, they like owe their success. I don’t think there’s any Sweetgreen. Sweetgreen. I was just about to bring up Sweetgreen. Without Chipotle. And so I have a lot of love for what Chipotle did, and pound for pound, I think a lot of their food tastes really good. Some people will be like- I agree. It’s tasteless, and it’s like no, just their rice is tasteless. Yeah. Which you’re correct, but it’s white rice with lime, salt, and cilantro in it, you know. But their beans, they are cooked really well generally. Yeah. They’re seasoned really well, people. There was a large trend on TikTok of, it just happened to be mainly white folks who were getting a bay leaf in their beans, and they’d be like- They like. Writing to Chipotle like- This fell out of a tree. @Chipotle Why is there a leaf in my burrito bowl? Yeah. Yeah. That’s whack. Yeah. One, you should probably take the bay leaves out of what you’re serving before you serve them. But- Deal with it. Point is like they actually do cook with a lot of fresh herbs. Yeah. And ingredients and they’re making guac fresh on premises. Yeah, I love seeing it. I have a lot of love for them. I love seeing it whenever they’re like, oh, we don’t have any chicken. It’ll be ready in like three minutes. Like, I kind of like that. Same About about Chipotle. Do you know, with Panda Express I feel like the same. Yeah. Panda Express is out there- They don’t have to wok-fry all those things. They can make all that in a factory and put them in store and- No. Pump and dump fry, microwave, whatever. They’re wok-frying a lot of stuff in Panda Express. Which I love. I have a lot of love for Chipotle. Do I think that it is the best-tasting food in the world? No. No one’s saying that. That’s not what the podcast is. No, but it’s like become such a cultural mainstay because they did things so well and also thinks that they don’t do particularly well now are because they’ve gotten so successful. Sure. Yeah. Right it happens to every franchise out there. Right? Of course. The 12th Marvel movie probably ain’t gonna be as good as the first. And that’s okay. But there’s a reason that people are watching it, you know? Yeah. And that’s okay. Are you gonna ask me when I had my first Chipotle experience? When did you have your first Chipotle experience? Okay. My first Chipotle experience was, so after school, whenever we would have gym, we would all mob over to Chipotle- School what year? I wanna say if I was in elementary school- Wow. Eighth grade. Yeah, you and I were on the same timeline. Okay. I don’t know what year eighth grade was. That would’ve been 2007 for you. Okay. So we would all, I don’t remember. So we would all mob over in our little Beverly Vista Bulldogs outfits, and we would go to Chipotle. We were the Bulldogs too. Trabuco Mesa Bulldog. You were also a Bulldog? Yeah. That’s awesome. You had the iconic like Bulldog that everyone has? We had the Fresno State Bulldog. I don’t know what that- Dunno if you know the Fresno State Bulldog. It’s different than the Georgia Bulldog. Hmm. But it’s like a full-body shot of a Bulldog. Yeah. or is this a full… And it’s has like a collar with spikes on it. Yeah. And it’s like angry. That was my school mascot! Okay. Sorry. Okay. So, so we had a friend whose brother worked at Chipotle, and he taught us a trick. He’s like, “Hey, if you ask for a soft taco but you say put it in a bowl, they will give you more food than if you were to get a single that’s that’s a soft taco. So we were a group of like 18 eighth graders going and getting enough food for a burrito bowl but paying for a soft taco. You know what the most hilarious thing about all this stuff is? Because, so this, this happens all the time. Is the theft- They’re like they’re like, “this Chipotle hack, You go and you ask for single chicken, and then you wait for them to put a scoop on, and then you go, ‘Can I have a little bit more?’ And they go, ‘Do you want double chicken?’ You go, ‘No.’ And you just pressure them into doing it!” No. It’s like, that’s just called harassing an employee. Yeah, but this is an eighth grade. I didn’t know any better. Oh no, no. But, but the funny thing about all that is people are like, “I’m getting one over on Chipotle.” That’s like getting a coupon for something and like using- That’s already- And being like, “I’m getting one over on Carl’s Jr’s.” Like no, they, they just want you to be there buying things because then you’re gonna come back and buy more. Like you’re just adding to Yeah. But my question is- You’re not bankrupting this company. No no but, I have a question. How much is a burrito bowl at Chipotle? $10? Oh God. I have not ordered Chip. This is actually funny. I don’t think I’ve ordered Chipotle outside of work. Mm. In probably three years. That’s really funny. I don’t think I’ve done it. And again, it’s like food that I love and fits my lifestyle very well in the sense that there’s not a lot of other fast food that you can go and just be like, “Give me grains, beans, grilled meat. Yeah. And healthy condiments. Yeah. But when you think about it, a burrito- I would guess 11, $12 now. Okay. Something like that. But a soft taco, too. So us kids, 18. 18 of us just going and getting a soft taco in a bowl. That’s my first, my first memory of Chipotle is scamming them. I feel like I remember exactly what I got the first time I went there. Yeah. This is back when, for some reason, I didn’t like beans when I was a kid. That’s okay. Because I think I’d only had bad bean burritos and I was like this is- Like soupy stuff? Not even soupy because they’re almost like dry and starchy when you microwave ’em. Oh sure. You know what I mean? Yeah. It happens after they’re soupy. I think I started loving beans, when I started eating soupy beans ’cause I love soupy beans. But I went to Chipotle, and they used to have, it was a separate menu item. They called a fajita burrito. This is before you could just be, I mean you- I see the menu in my head, and I see exactly where it is. It’s the same price as a burrito. Except it was fajita veg instead of beans, despite the fact that you could get beans and fajita veg. But I don’t know why that was on the menu separately. Yeah. I got a carnitas fajita burrito with white rice, hot salsa, corn salsa, fajita veg, lettuce. ‘Cause I don’t know, I grew up eating big, bloated burritos, stuffed lettuce and all kinds of things. Sour cream and cheese. That was your first order. And I remember being blown away by the combination of hot salsa, corn salsa, and sour cream melding into the meat. That was a taste that I’d never had before. ‘Cause like their hot salsa when you eat it. One, it’s pretty hot. Two, it’s pretty freaking good, dude. It’s really spicy and really good. They’re like- It’s my favorite salsa, it the only salsa I get other than pico, The mild is like really, really well done. I don’t like the mild. If you just eat it. If you erase your Chipotle bias and just eat their mild salsa with a chip, it’s a fan-freaking-tastic. It’s been a while since I’ve had the mild salsa. Not the mild, the medium. What’s… Sorry. So the mild is pico, one they kind of, yeah, they stopped using real terms. Also they did the Starbucks thing where Starbucks just started making up Italian words and like what they mean like macchiato. A Starbucks is just a latte. Yeah sure. And the Cappuccino’s also just a latte, whatever. And Frappuccino doesn’t exist at Chipotle right. They have grilled steak, which is carne asada. And then now they have carne asada, which is grilled steak. But with cumin and stuff. Yeah, with what they have deemed as like “Mexican.” Yeah. Which is like lime and cumin. Sure. Which is really funny. Also, their barbacoa I was their barbacoa stan. That was your first order. My, barbacoa was my favorite thing there. It’s well seasoned. I would always get a barbacoa soft taco in a burrito bowl and I would load it up with everything other than sour cream. Let’s analyze each other’s childhood orders Okay. And then go Okay, so tell me yours again. Do you remember mine? No, you can start from the beginning. All right. So my order is a burrito. Sorry, fajita burrito with white rice, carnitas, fajita veg, corn, hot salsa, sour cream, cheese, lettuce. Okay. My- And I’m 14 years old. My- 270 pounds, a monster. I was what 13? Yeah. I was 13 years old, and I would get a barbacoa soft taco with brown rice, black beans. Brown rice did not exist back then go on. It didn’t. No Are you sure? Positive. How positive are you? Well, I’ll bet you $100. That brown rice did not exist in 2007. Oh my gosh. Shake my hand before Maggie Googles it. I don’t wanna I’m gonna guess it probably came out in like 2011? Yeah. Click on now Maggie, just click on the article, see when it was I don’t wanna shake your hand. See when it came out. Brown rice. What year did this article… Oh God, dude. Modern. Listen, I wanna support journalism, but like so many of them are getting rid of their actual papers No, please. And then all their sites are fully unusable. Dude popup ads. It is crazy. All right, before we figure that out, go on. Okay, okay whatever. So, okay, if it wasn’t brown rice, it was no rice. How about that? Okay, How about, okay, so it was, so it was barbacoa, Yes Black beans. Yes. On a soft corn tortilla. On a soft flour tortilla. And then it would have corn, a red salsa, lettuce, cheese, guacamole on the side. And you’re paying like five total dollars for this. $2. 2.19. Interesting. 2.19. I remember to a T because you would get a quarter, and then you would use the quarter to pay for it. 2.19 Unbelievable. And then the guacamole on the side, one person would get, and all of us would share it. Okay. So you’re like 13 when you’re doing this. So you were one of those kids. 2011. So I wasn’t- Did I say 2011? I feel like I might well run back the tape on that, but yeah. Nicole’s a liar. No, I thought I, I guess I just, I just wasn’t aware. But I remember it being brown rice. But maybe I was wrong. You were- It’s not fair to say you were cheap because you were a child. I was a child. You were all cheap. We just spent whatever. Yeah. We had, but you were one of those children that delighted in adults thinking that they were bad. You know what I mean? What do you mean? I don’t know what that means. Like you were a 13-year-old child walking into Chipotle trying with a bunch of other children trying to scam them. Like you had no shame as a child. Not only that, you wanted attention. Zero shame, Right? Not really. Were you getting a lot of attention in the home? Yeah, so much. I was the last kid. You don’t think I was? But getting attention for good things. So you needed to get that validation for doing bad things out side. I think you’re Like Scamming Chipotle Completely wrong. I think I was just following the crowd. I think I just wanted to be part of the crowd and part of the cool kids that got Chipotle for two bucks. From a taste perspective though- Pretty good. What you’ve gotten might be one, I think Chipotle, so you can get crispy tacos, soft tacos, bowl, burrito, and then salad, which is also just bowl. Did you ever do the quesadilla, and they would get mad at you? Yes, all the time. Well, quesarito too. They would get so mad if you asked them for a quesadilla. Reasonably, they should never have allowed that. So you would ask somebody at the front of the line. And if you did that, so let’s psychoanalyze some people. If you’re one of the people who, before Chipotle added quesadillas to the menu, because again, now Chipotle is a tech company. That’s right. It’s just app-driven. And that’s the only thing you care about, which a quesadilla being delivered is awful. Quesadillas are meant to have melted cheese, which tends to need to be [Nichole and Josh] Hot. But anyways, when you used to go there, you would, like, fill your No what would you do you So the burritos were at the front of the line with the warmer, and then the cheese was all the way on the other side. That’s what it’s, that’s the conflict. We’ve already talked about this on the podcast about the cheese plate placement of Chipotle. How it’s wrong. Yeah, it should be earlier. Yeah. Yeah, should be. Agree with that. So you would have to make- But then they couldn’t top the bowls. They would need two different cheese placements. Exactly. Yeah. But why would you need to top the bowl if you had melted cheese already? Well, they don’t want the cheese to be melted. They want the cheese to be on the top. Because all the product shots show the cheese on top. Which is so stupid. I think it’s stupid. Which is why they brought queso. Yup. Agreed Yeah. Yeah. But if you, if you were one of those people who inconvenienced civilian employees, You were annoying. And this is back when people used to walk into restaurants and actually like get stuff instead of just go to a separate area where there’s stuff sitting in a bag. I love going to restaurants order. I do too. Oh, I love eating in a Chipotle. They have all the Tabasco. I love eating in a Chipotle. Oh, oh my gosh. People used to steal that Tobasco- So much diet Coke. Horrible. So much diet Coke. And the music- But if you’re one of those people. Do you know the music was curated specifically? There was one guy who was the Chipotle music guy. And he like did an incredible job. They, they got, they got like local artists, not local artists, but they, they got an artist. Artist who did like, you know, it looked like, you know, pre-Hispanic Mexican art. And I know it’s all kind of a sham and a farce and whatever. But Chipotle was just very paradigmatic in what a modern fast food restaurant should be. My Shazam was on 24/7 when I was in Chipotle. Their music was good. I just remember a lot of like, you know, “sex is on fire,” what are they called? The Kings of Leon. Kings Of Leon. Why did, my peak Chipotle time in high school would’ve been peak Kings of Leon time. Which is unfortunate for me because I do not like them. But- I love them. If you were one of those people who inconvenienced Chipotle workers, you have like no regard. Yeah. For human decency. And I knew people in high school that did that and they delighted. In watching That’s screwed up. You know, somebody that was probably three years older than us. Yeah. Just like in community college. They’re gonna Saddleback, they’re going to IVC. Maggie knows what the hell I’m talking about. I mean I’ve, I mean when you’re a kid it’s different. But when you grow up when you’re in high school, like don’t do that stuff anymore. You know? Yeah. And so, and especially if you were an adult doing that, it was just like, you do not understand the rules of society. I didn’t psychoanalyze you, your order. I was gonna say about yours What? is that might be the single greatest collection of tastes that Chipotle has to offer. Corn, hot, sour cream, cheese, barbacoa is- No sour cream. Oh. No sour cream. Nevermind. Completely bumped. Why? Why no sour cream. I just didn’t like- Dairy issues. I thought the sour cream looked too liquidy to enjoy. I love their liquidy sour cream. It was too liquid. I like my At that time the only sour cream I knew was thick sour cream. You know, like Daisy? Do a dollup of Daisy. That was the only, like, knowledge I had of sour cream. Your order is the Icarus order because you flew so close to getting the greatest thing. And then at the last minute when you need that sour cream to mix with the corn juice to mix, I’ll never be To mix with the hot sauce, to mix with the barbacoa juices. You just chickened out. I’ll never be good enough for Josh Scherer and it sucks. Um, okay, your order. He’s big boy. Big boy. Hungry boy. I think you were just hungry. I mean, I was so hungry. You were hungry all the time. Oh my God. You were a growing boy. I ate three Chipotle burritos in one sitting. No you didn’t. I swear. Why? I swear to you. To prove that you could? Or were you actually That I could In front of people? Yeah, of course, of course. And like by this time, so right not that like weight is a valid metric to use to yada yada Sure yeah. All those disclaimers. But I was like playing sports, and so at that, that point you like need to weigh yourself so you’re like weighing, you know? Yeah, you’re also expelling so much energy I’m sure. Yeah, and mass moves mass. I was a big shot putter and so I, you know, started off playing football was a real big boy. And then I quit that ’cause I hated the coach. And then I started playing basketball. I mean I played basketball my whole life. But I was like, I’m going only basketball and track at this point, so I’m gonna lose like 40 pounds drop down to like 220 for 2 years. And then I was like, well I feel like I can get a scholarship for basketball. ’cause there are I feel like I can get I feel like I can get a scholarship for track because basketball coaches in college are not looking for 6 foot 2, you know, centers. And so I regained 50 pounds. Wow, you fluctuated so much. In like a year. And then I got my bench up a hundred pounds. So like while I was doing this, I was just eating whatever I could get my hands on. Yeah. And Chipotle, back in the day, $8 you could get, you know, 150 grams of carbs, 50 grams of protein and you know, a thousand plus calories. It was incredible. Yeah. Yeah, and so once like a friend, like, I don’t know, didn’t want their burrito or something. And so I was like, wow, I’ll eat two. And somebody’s like, “think you could eat three?” I was like, oh yeah, I bet I could. Also, they’re rolled so bad. They’re like diapers. They used to be rolled better. They used to be rolled better. I will say that. What happened? It’s quality control. Quality control laws. Another thing, my friend’s brother who worked there used to say mixing everything together was the best way to eat a Chipotle burrito. I disagree. I like the pockets. I like the pockets too. All right, so we got our like childhood orders. Okay. Modern day orders. Okay. We have I have it. Pull it out. Where’d my Chipotle go? Oh man. We got it. Okay. Boom. You want me to tell you what mine is? My fork on the dirty ground. Josh, I have a fork for you. Don’t eat it. No, no, no. You get me too. You think three Chipotle burritos? No, no, no. I want attention I have none in the home. We don’t need to do that anymore. We don’t need to do that anymore. Okay? Okay. My dad’s in Philadelphia trying to marry a political refugee. Again. Flashback to high school. I just spit everywhere. Okay, this is my order typically. She worked at the mall. That’s cool, my mom never had a job. Really? And well, she used to work for the Shah of Iran, second in command, and then she came to America. My dad’s like, you ain’t gotta work no more. Take care of the kids. And she’s like, bet. Our lives are so similar. Bowl with guacamole, brown rice, light black beans. When I say light black beans, that means I want them drained super well. Steak, medium corn, hot red, cheese, and lettuce with a side of salsa. I picked pico today ’cause I was feeling a little bit mild and it tortilla on the side. This is my order. The fact that you, I saw you put this order in ’cause this is our legitimate like lunch. I’m eating lunch right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nicole’s on lunch break. Please don’t bother her. I’m sorry. The fact that you asked for your beans. Well drained Uh-huh could go one of two ways. Oh, what is that? If I saw somebody ask for their beans, well drained. Okay, well, let’s, let’s break this down. Bowl is now the most popular thing to order at Chipotle. I never get a burrito. I never get the tacos. I never do the salads. And that is because I think Chipotle changed from like a good restaurant with good food that people wanted to go to as like a treat. Which is what it was for me. Like early on, what I think it was for a lot of people, I would love to see their data on how bowls have started outselling burritos. Whereas now this is like the quintessential healthy-ish, but still very filling, very, you know, caloric, but like relatively fresh foods. This is like the weekday lunch office order. You know what I mean? Yeah. And so bowl that makes sense. Brown rice. It’s a little bit healthier than white rice. It’s got a little bit more fiber from the chaff and all that being attached to it. When I go to restaurants, I normally order brown rice instead of white rice because I eat white rice at home ’cause I’m Persian. That makes sense. I have white rice so often, like on Friday nights and stuff that sometimes I just need a change. I like brown rice for porridges at home. Oh. Nice. I like brown rice porridge. Got a lot of, got more character to it. When I go to like Thai restaurants, I always get their brown rice. When I go to like Mexican restaurants I get brown rice, which you know isn’t like the ideal one. But like, a girl needs variety. I feel that. Your choice of condiments I think is great. One place where we differ, I don’t get pico at Chipotle because for some reason I want the corn to supplant the pico. And I don’t want the corn and the tomatoes. The corn is the best. Interact. I also don’t get cheese. I, for some reason it does not fit the flavor profiles that I think Chipotle does the best. Okay. I think it obscures from it. Are you trying to eat some? What? Are you trying to eat some? No. I’m just pointing with my pork. You can. I’m like a maestro. I’m like Gustavo Dudamel out here. You are Dudamel. The fact that you order your beans well drained. That’s the biggest aberration. Why? That could go one of two ways. Why? Because, that could mean I don’t like a soggy burrito bowl. Nobody likes, but these are the things that you deal with, because we live in a society, Nicole. It’s the reason when the cheese is at the end of the buffet that you do not ask to make them a quesadilla because they would’ve to go all the way back. These are things that you do. You don’t ask people to like, oh hey, can you make my filet fish extra crispy? No. These are simply things that, What are you talking about? Of course can. You roll the dice in life? You roll the dice Of course you can ask them! In life and you get what you get. You are either happy or you are sad. Which is why I am saying that this either means you are difficult or what I believe, because I’ve known you for years, Nicole. That you are discerning. You want what is best for yourself. You want what is best for other people. And you also know takes a second, takes a a second in an extra wrist motion to well drain the beans. And that is why I respect you. Because you will go the extra mile to do that. I also like to take the tortilla and I wrap it around like a little chapati. I I didn’t know that people are out here getting tortillas on the side. That is a full burrito tortilla. I normally don’t eat all of it, but yes, I get a full burrito tortilla because the, the soft tacos are so tiny. Yeah. You just want a little nashy nash which again, this is a very discerning order and I think you have dialed it in. You have become a woman, Nicole. Not a girl, not yet a woman. But yes, you now are yet a woman and you know what you want in life and you deserve it. And you don’t care if you have to inconvenience somebody with an extra one second of thwapping the beans. I don’t think that makes me high maintenance at all. But you know, you should see other people. They’re more high maintenance than I am. What you get? Tell me what’s in your order Josh? This has become my new normal. So this #NewNormal. I am no longer, I’m now a, a stealth 210 pound man who still lifts for two hours every single day, but not in the eating three burritos mindset anymore. So now I get a bowl, I get brown rice because again, You get brown rice. I would prefer white rice, but like it’s just, it’s one choice in your life, and it’s slightly healthier. It’s like we only have wheat tortillas in the house unless I’m like actually making tacos. But it’s for like weeknight, you know, wanna make a little quesadilla as a snacky? Yeah, might as well be whole wheat even though its the same amount of calories, yada yada. Totally. So I get brown rice and then I get black beans. They are simply better than the pinto beans. Yeah. I agree. The pinto beans have are also non-vegetarian. Yeah. They’re made with pork. They would always say, they would always say, you know, the pork, the, the, the pinto beans are pork Not for Jews! Because I guess they knew we were Jews? But yeah, when you got, you know, Brandon walking in with a yarmulke and anyways, so, and then I get chicken and not only that, I get double chicken. You are double. Okay. I love double meat. Double chicken, always. Double meat people are my favorite. Yeah. I want a lot of protein. Yeah. Again, this is utility for me. And it’s a good utility. It’s like my various bowls of slop that I consume. So, this to me is utility. And then I got corn salsa, hot salsa, sour cream, lettuce. And then I’ll get guac on the side. Except I think they just put it in there. Which again, you roll the dice in, in life, And it’s fine. Yeah. Yeah. How do you feel about sofritas? Sofritas. Yeah, do you ever get the Sofritas? There was a time, there is a third Chipotle order that I used to get because I went through a time in my life where I went, I’m gonna be a good citizen of the world. Aw. I’m going to stop eating as much meat. I would go meatless for like three days outta the week. And all the meat that I did eat would be like very well sourced, it’d be from a community supported agricultural organization. This is when I believed in things. And again, That’s really sweet. I still do believe in these, I just eat a pound and a half of animal flesh a day of suspect provenance. But when they introduced their sofritas, which is like, oh god, it’s tasty! It’s TVP. It’s tasty. It’s not even TVP it’s just tofu, isn’t it? It’s really good. Whatever it is, I love it. It’s just crumbled tofu cooked with like a delightful mixture of spices and chilies and tomato. Really good. And it’s really well done. The corporate chefing team at Chipotle is very good at their job. Any problems that people might have tends to be at the store level, right? Burritos wrapped like diapers, tortillas, not griddled properly. People got things going on. You know what I mean? But the actual like corporate chefing team does a good, does an incredible job. They’re. I mean, Inside Eats. Inside Eats, watch “Inside Eats” on Food Network, with Rhett and Link. But yeah, so I used to get a lot of sofritas and with the black beans, with the rice. It is an unreal combo. Yeah. They do a great job of that. Yeah. I think your order just says that you know, you have a goal in mind, and you wanna be as sexy as possible. I wanna be as sexy. It’s so hard. Josh wants to be sexy. I love going out and drinking and eating and my back hurts whenever I lift now. And being sexy is a full-time job. Oh my gosh, don’t get me started, honey. I’m Instagram famous. Look me up. Did you see that video? Oh my gosh. What is this? She said, “I’m Instagram famous, you bum!” You bum. Yeah, she said the F-word too. I love her. She’s my, she’s my Morgan Osman? Yeah, she’s my queen. I, you know listen, you reserve the right to get a lot of work done just sometimes you look like a duck! You look like a sexy duck. She looks like a sexy duck. Just like a sexy duck! She looks like a sexy duck. And if you want to look like a sexy duck, that’s your right, I just don’t find ducks sexy. Did you know she was on “Bad Girls Club?” Ducks are like in my bottom five animals that I find sexy. Number one, sloth! Um, but anyways, girls with wide set eyes, Anya Taylor-Joy, sloth eyes, love it. Oh yeah, its, what else has Chloe Bailey? Halle Bailey? Yeah, Halle Bailey is very attractive, very wide set eyes, what I want, what we’re talking about, Nichole. Um, let’s psychoanalyze various choices that people might get at Chiptole. Rapid fire. Okay, I think people that gets things on the side, like queso, guac, and, um, salsa’s on the side Yeah I think they’re generally good people. Like you admire what they do? Yeah, I like what they do because I think that they like things on the side. You know, they’re not all about what I need in front of me. They’re considering things around them, and I really respect that. Hmm, I know that I can never have as close of a relationship with people who get no sauces on their Chipotle bowl. And I’ve seen it done. It’ll be like Like it’s just dry? Rice, meat, beans, cheese, sour cream, fin. I know people that did that, and I literally look at that and be like, you and I do not have the same values. Oh my god. You do not view the world the same. There are all these delightful sauces, you chose none of them? What about the salad sauce? People that get a burrito bowl Oh, uh. And do the salad, the agave salad sauce on the side? I think V does that. Its really good. And honestly, it’s something that is really holding our relationship back. Oh really? I kinda love the sauce. I don’t do it all the time, personally, but sometimes you just need to toss it in there. It’s so sugary though. With The vinaigrette is too sugary. You don’t put all of it in there. Yeah, but still, why do you you don’t need to add sugar to, you know, Mexican food, like it is It’s good sometimes though, with the chicken it helps. Yeah, I like something sweet, some kind of mole. Um, what about people who get queso on their burrito bowls? Queso in a burrito I get. Queso in a burrito bowl, that happened recently with I think it might’ve been Mikayla. Uh, we’re just psychoanalyzing our coworkers now. I don’t love. I don’t love either. But it’s okay. Cheese sauce on white rice, well, there’s something kinda home-y about it. You ever grow up eating Campbell’s soup over white rice? Never had Campbell’s soup growing up. Mmmm man, that’s good eating. I’m sure. Sometimes the soup had rice in it, and you put that on the rice. I’m sure. I’m sure. You get the Uncle Ben’s, like the minute rice. Uh huh. Then you microwave that. Then you pour the soup on it, and the rice warms that. Then you pop that back in the microwave. And that’s kind of what the cheese sauce with the rice reminds me of. Crispy taco people. Have you ever had a crispy taco from Chipotle? Yeah. I went through a crispy taco phase. It’s not good. I disagree. You don’t like, you like it? It becomes it’s like Indian chaat because the taco falls apart immediately because they’re trying to, if you’ve seen people at Chipotle struggle to put things into a bowl, or wrap things It’s so funny! in a giant plate of a tortilla when they have to put that into three, individual crispy tacos shells with tongs, as there is a line of a hundred Door Dash drivers behind them. Yeah. It is impossible, so they kind of end up just slopping everything on top. Yeah. And it gently falls in. It’s like a half constructed nacho plate. It’s like, it’s like putting a square peg in a round hole. Yeah, but if you bash it hard enough, it’ll get through that hole, you know what I mean? What about people that get chips on the side? And they use it to scoop up the burrito bowl? I think very smart. They’re, they are homo what’s it called? Erectus? Not, don’t raise your eyes when you say “erectus” why? Just, I don’t No, what’s the one that started using tools, Habilis? Habilis. Like homo habilis. They’re like homo habilis where they learned to use crude tools to improve their lives. Hmm And I think that works for them. Uh, people who order salads instead of a bowl, despite the fact that you can just get lettuce on a bowl? Ugh, edgelords. Edgelords you’re not different! You’re not better than us! Cause, oh you got a salad, but Power mix! Power Mix! Cheese, sour cream, You go a barbacoa salad? Power Mix! On that? Golly! It’s embarrassing. Um, anyways, uh leave us a review. Tell us what your favorite Chipotle order is, and Nichole and I will psychoanalyze you on the next episode. We are finally releasing a cookbook! Bow bow bow! It was written by me and with the support of the entire Mythical Kitchen team! Hmm, it features some favorite recipes from Good Mythical Morning and Mythical Kitchen. And some completely original dishes developed by the Mythical Kitcheneers. It’s available for pre-order now at Mythical.com/cookbook. And it hits shelves in March of 2024. Check it out! We’re really proud of this and we know you’re going to love it. We finally did it, Nichole! High five! Up top! Slapping sound. Get it at Mythical.com/cookbook. Alright, Nichole, we’ve heard what you and I have to say, now it’s time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe. It’s time for a segment we call, “Opinions are like Casseroles” Okay lets All right I want to do it Do it! Okay let’s listen to our first opinion. What’s going on, Josh and Nichole? What’s going on brother? I think the most important part of a meal is its ergonomics. Huh? Interesting. I think I need to be able to handle whatever it is in a clean way. I’m not sure if this is a hot take, but if food’s too wet, sorry Josh, it’s bad. I disagree but. Too messy. Bad. No. You need to be able to eat clean, professionally. In and out. Done deal. I’ll wear gloves if I have to. It’s like Seal Team Six. If you want to hear Nichole and I wax poetic about food, if you want to hear Nichole and I wax poetic about food ergonomics, go check out the audio only version of this podcast. Nichole, that’s gonna drive audio only viewers, I swear. Do you need to cough? Sounding a little phlegmy. Phlegmatic. Uh, go over to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. That’s right! Uh, that’s us signing off for you video viewers. Thank you so much for stopping by, we always have a good time with you. I cherish our relationship. Mmhmm. I love nobody but you, baby. I know I’ve done wrong in the past, but hit me back and keep me around. What he said. See you next time. Bye.