Hey, will you sign my petition? It’s to fund arts programs in public schools. This says, “Bring Back the Bacon Club Chalupa?” Just sign the paper. This is “A Hot Dog Is A Sandwich.” Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, “A Hot Dog is a Sandwich,” the show where we break down the world’s biggest food debates. I’m your host, Josh Scherer, And I’m your host Nicole Hendizadeh-Enayati. Why did I say my last name wrong, again? What’s wrong with me? I’m just glad we officially have one signature on my petition to bring back the Bacon Club Chalupa at Taco Bell, because today, Nicole, we are talking about what is the best ever discontinued fast food item. And my first entry into the competition, it’s gonna be the Bacon Club Chalupa. Are there any handwriting experts out there? I wanna know what my signature says about me. Your signature almost… If I were to see that written down, I would think it’s a language that I had never heard of. I’d be like, “Oh, is this traditional Pashto writing?” I think my signature’s very Trumpian, actually. Is it? Oh, my god. I think that’s where I’ve seen that before. I have a very simila.., What do you think that does about your personality? So much, we can’t fill it into one podcast. Wait, let me sign this. Sure. Anyway, tell them about the Bacon Club Chalupa and how much you loved it. I never tried the Bacon Club Chalupa. You’ve never had the Bacon Club Chalupa? I’ll tell you this about fast food. I was never one of those chick… That would get the new exciting, modern thing. I would always just get the classics. Like, if I’m going to McDonald’s, I’m getting a chicken nugget. Oh no! If I go to McDonald’s, I’m getting a Big Mac. If I go to Burger King, I’m gonna a Whopper. That’s how I’ve always been. I’m a purist. One of the beauties about fast food to me, is that it’s so cheap. I mean, God, it feels so expensive now. Thanks, inflation. But fast food’s so cheap, that the opportunity cost of being disappointed by a new menu item, which happens almost all the time, it’s not that big, because you can come back the next day and spend another $4, The next day? But now I feel like you’re spending $12, $13…. Exactly. On a fast food meal. If you’re at Taco Bell and you’re eating like I eat, you’re rocking 18, 19 bucks. That’s a lot of money. That’s a lot of money in the golden age of fast food. So for instance, I lived next to… I know I brag about this all the time. One of the top three most important Taco Bell locations in all of California. We’re talking strategic importance- Weird flex, but okay. No, literally, this is in Mission Viejo, California, next to Trabuco Hills High School. You lived in Mission Viejo? There’s so many weird little new towns that spring up around there. Technically, I lived in Rancho Santa Margarita, but my high school is in Mission Viejo. Which was how long… Like, how far? They bordered each other. And Rancho Santa Margarita- A 20 minute drive? Wasn’t a city until I was seven-years-old. There’s just so much new money. How long was your drive? It was 10 minutes to high school. But then I moved up to Fountain Valley and it was 45 minutes. Point is there was so much foot traffic from a relatively diverse, demographic of people and a very young age demo going through this Taco Bell. And so they would test out a lot of their new menu items at this location. That’s so cool. That’s really cool. They were like, “What does a slice of America want to buy from the 18 to whatever demo?” And so they would test out all their new items, but they would all be 99 cents. So when the Crunch Wrap Supreme- Shut up. Dude, yeah. ‘Cause they were like, “We want feedback on these. We want people to buy ’em.” Oh, that’s sick. So my high school Taco Bell location was one of the first in America to get the Crunch Wrap Supreme. And it was so exciting. We were one of the first in America to get Taco Bell breakfast. We’re talking 2000- Oh, that’s so cool. We’re talking like 2007 Taco Bell breakfast. And it was funny because it was so, so, so different. And I think a lot of this has to do with the recession and everything, but they’re downsizing all the items. So now Taco Bell has the toasted breakfast tacos. Everything’s kind of smaller- Smaller. Cheaper. Sure. You can go more a la carte with it. But I remember eating… This is not in the running for best discontinued fast food item, but it was called the Cheesy Guacamole Bacon Grilled Stuffed Breakfast Burrito. So many words. And it was just a bomb. That was a lot of words. It was as big of a breakfast burrito as you’d get from a local taqueria, except it had so much boiling hot Taco Bell guacamole in it. I don’t like hot guac. With the eggs. I can’t do that. I’m down with hot guac. If it’s in a carne asada burrito or if it’s at least… Guac that’s been made fresh and it’s gonna taste good. But we’re talking about Taco Bell. Taco Bell guac, which I will say, they have made strides in lately. It used to be worse. Oh, really? It’s just so… It needs to be so citric acidy to be shelf stable. And to be considered guacamole. You know what I mean? Sure, yeah. It’s the essence of guacamole when you try and boil down the flavors of it. They’re like, “Lime juice?” And it’s like, “Well, that’ll make it more shelf stable.” Sure. But the hot guac with the eggs was not my favorite. But it was a very exciting time to be around fast food when you could just pay a dollar and try the new thing. It’s not like that anymore, I’ve been the opposite. And to this day, if there’s a new fast food item, I’m trying it no matter what, I’m the opposite. I’m like a curmudgeon. Like, I’m driving and I’m at a Del Taco. And I look and I’m like, “What are they doing now?” Oh, Del Taco. No, Del Taco has made strides, Nicole. ‘Cause Taco Bell, right, they have the lion’s share of the fast food Mexican market. In America, Del Taco, you have Taco John’s, you have Taco Time. I’ve never been to those places. I’ve never driven by a Taco John’s. I’ve never heard of Taco Time. I think Taco Time’s actually an SNL. Oh, I think you’re right. A restaurant? No, yeah. What am I thinking of? I dunno. Time for tacos? Taco Town is literally an SNL skit. You’re absolutely right. Jesus. What are the other ones called? I mean, I don’t know. Do you consider Baja Fresh to be in the same canon? Or is it a little bit fast casual? No, Baja Fresh is a contemporary to Chipotle. And Moe’s Southwest Grill is the big other regional player. But Del Taco is the West Coast one that we have. And they’re making big moves to expand. It’s good. It’s just fun. They found that Taco Bell has the middle 60% in terms of pricing of items. So Del Taco is like, “We’re gonna take the cheapest 20% and the most expensive 20%. And we’re making that ours, baby.” So Del Taco to this day still has the cheaper crunchy taco. And they’ll do deals where you’ll get 3 for… I mean, 3 for $2 or something. And then they also have shrimp and carne asada burritos for $7. And carnitas, right? And carnitas. Dude, Del Taco- It’s the Trayf Taco Bell. It’s the Trayf Taco Bell and I love that. We’re mixing dairy with crustacean, with meat. None of these were kosher slaughtered and they’re delicious. What about octopus? I think Del Taco has to put octopus on the menu and then we’ll talk. I would absolutely love that. Would you really? No, I would try it, of course. Do you even get octopus at poke spots? Not poke spots. Me either. I don’t love cold octopus. I think that’s the thing I agree with, right? Okay. Even octopus in a ceviche mixto or ceviche campechana. I like it, I like cold octopus. I love hot roasted octopus. Bust also, I prefer hot roasted octopus. Same. Same, same. What does this have to do with fast food items again? Oh, we were just talking about the cannon. Okay, Bacon Club Chalupa. Yeah, why do you like it so much? One of my favorite things is when a company just adds in an entirely new meat or protein to the mix. Okay. So we were talking about Del Taco, that they just go willy nilly. They’ll be like, “Ugh, good news.” Shrimp! “We have carnitas. We have shrimp, we have fish tacos,” all that. Taco Bell didn’t really do that for a long, long time. And anytime they did it was very exciting. Okay, like how… When you say exciting, is that like, for the general public or for you? I like to think that I’m the Vox Populi. I am the everyman. I am the person… Vox Populi, huh? The voice of the people out here. Love that. I think what I find exciting, literally, everybody else gets excited about. So when I saw that they had bacon and avocado ranch dressing inside of a fried flatbread shell with grilled chicken, I was very excited. And I’ll never forget, I would ride my bike to elementary school and middle school. And on the way back there was a Taco Bell. And I would take whatever money I scraped together from lemonade stands or whatever the hell we were doing. I would take that and put it right into Taco Bell. And I’d try all the new items, A Taco Bell fund, if you will. It was literally a Taco Bell fund. And I would eat lunch at school, and then I would bike home and eat Taco Bell, and then bike home and then eat dinner. And that was just how I lived my life. And it was great. Interesting. And the Bacon Club Chalupa, I’ll never forget that first bite of you get the fire sauce, a half packet on the first bite and then the creaminess of the avocado, that protein chew of the chicken. And then I was like, “Oh my god. Where is that smoky base note… the boom, boom, boom, boom coming in from?” And it was the freaking bacon. And they recently brought back the Bacon Club Chalupa. Oh, they brought it back? They brought it back. I mean, they’re bringing it back and discontinuing it again. Is it the same? They brought it back recently. I imagine it’s the same. You haven’t tried it. But I will tell you… No, I tried it. My palette has changed. Oh, I’m sure. I’m sure. It was still perfectly fine. But I was like, that excitement of when I was a kid and something new came out certainly wasn’t there. Yeah, also, when I’m looking at this, because we have a list of incredible things. A lot of these we’ve done on “Past Foods.” We have. Which is so exciting. We have a whole show on “Mythical Kitchen” called “Past Foods” where we recreate discontinued items. If you’re watching this podcast, just type in “Past Foods” in the search bar, next to the “About” section, and you’ll see it. It’s good. It’s a good show. And what is this? The Taco Bell Caramel Apple Empanada, speaking of Taco Bell, very good. Greatest fast food dessert of all time. Not counting Jollibee pies. Oh, Jollibee pies are the best pies. The way that the crust of the empanada was fluffy but crispy and delicious. There was a craquelin on it. It was like a craquelin. It was ridiculous. I don’t know what kind of R&D they did to like… You know what I think they did? I think they flash-fried it, and then they flash-fried it again in the actual… Like, wherever they make it. Like the studio? The Taco Bell test kitchen. The Taco Bell test kitchen. I’ve there. It’s incredible. It’s like freaking Willy Wonka. They eat with solid gold spoons. Is that also in Mission Viejo? Irvine. Oh, close. Used to be in, I think, Orange or Santa Ana. And then they moved to Irvine. And I went to the grand opening of their new campus. Wow. In 2010. Because my high school girlfriend’s dad worked in HR. Oh, really? Yeah. Should’ve stayed with her. That was rad, dude. I know. No, she found an army guy, and they seem really happy. Oh, okay. Yeah. Back to the Caramel Apple Empanada. I think they twice-fried it in the test kitchen and then they sent it over to the people to fry it. So it’s a thrice-fried pie. I think that’s the only way that crust was possible. Yeah. It was gorgeous. I think that was one of my favorites, too. And all this talk about McDonald’s apple pies from back in the day when they used to be fried. Oh, I don’t think I ever tried a fried one. We had it once. So Taco Bell at some point, right, everybody knows they used to fry in beef tallow. And there’s still one restaurant location, it’s one of their originals, that I believe is in Downey, California. Oh, cool. In South L.A. I’ve had some great food in Downey as well. I adopted my dog from Downey. Everybody loves Downey. Shout out to Downey. Artesia, Cerritos. We love Downey, California. Come on, Inland South L.A. ♪ Cerritos Auto Square ♪ But anyways, Taco Bell used to fry their pies and they have original fried pies at this location. No way. And we tried it. And when I ate it, I was like, “Oh, that’s a Caramel Apple Empanada.” Empanada is a pie, of course. They just have an apple pie. Sure, it’s just shaped differently. Yeah, but now that McDonald’s bakes their pies, they’re significantly worse. Do they have slits? They do. Okay, did they have slits… Some of their baked pies don’t. When they were fried- No. Okay, ’cause that wouldn’t make sense. Would not make sense. Make zero sense. All the apples will leak out. I tried a strawberries and cream pie from McDonald’s recently. What country is it from? No, it was an American limited time… Sounds so good. Edition. And it was not as good as I wanted it to be. Oh. Which is fine. It was $2. It’s a low opportunity cost. You can try another pie. You can go to Panda Express, Nicole, and you can get their new apple pie egg rolls. A thing that exists. Are you kidding me? No, they did it. They finally did it. Oh, my god. I don’t know who was asking for that at Panda Express. They probably want to corner the dessert market. And it just didn’t work. I don’t know what their numbers said, but there was somebody in a suit going, “We need to put apple pie filling in the egg roll wrappers.” Why apples? Why are apples the default American fruit to fry and bake? We grow a lot of ’em. Shout out to the state of Washington. Johnny Appleseed, that was a deranged man. Just walking around… With a bucket. Yeah, he wore a pot on his head. I’m gonna put apples in your house. That’s weird, dude. That’s weird. In your house. In your garden. Nah. Can I tell you something? A small little aside about strawberries and cream? I think strawberries and cream was the flavor of twelve-year-olds back in the day. Interesting. Like, our generation of twelve-year-olds? Yeah. I thought you were gonna say like Victorian boys. No, like us growing up in the time we did. I think strawberries and cream was the ‘it’ flavor. Remember those little lifesavers? Creamsavers. Dude… Were they called Creamsavers? They were called Creme Savers. But yeah, they were Creme Savers. They had orange cream and strawberries and cream. The strawberries and cream flavor is like… Can you taste it in your mouth right now? Oh, I’m salivating from it. Isn’t it ridiculous? I wish more people did like strawberries and cream stuff. Well, I’m an orange cream… I’ve always been a dreamsicle man, myself. Me too! Me too. Dreamsicles are great. Do you know how I eat Dreamsicle? Orange Julius, another discontinued fast food. I love Orange Julius. Millennials killed Orange Julius. Do you know how you eat a dreamsicle? I eat all of the orange on the outside first. Suck down the icy vanilla ice cream. I have one thing I wanna talk about. What’s that? Szechuan sauce. Szechuan sauce. You remember? It came out, people were okay with it. They took it away. “Rick and Morty” brought it back, and the internet went ablaze. Remember that? We even redid it once. Remember? We did. We made it from scratch. And I ate the original Szechuan sauce. And what did you think about it? The actual taste of the sauce. The actual sauce, I didn’t care about. I didn’t care about the sauce. I was like, “Wow, I gotta get this sauce and all my foods.” I thought the absolute insanity and the hoi poi around it is what really interested me. Yeah, it was a “Rick and Morty”… I don’t watch “Rick and Morty.” I think it’s funny. I just don’t watch cartoons. I’m okay with it. My favorite part about Rick and Morty, throughout the whole thing was the way that they animated the eyeballs. The eyeballs had little squiggles and that’s the only redeemable quality about that. I was a “King of the Hill” guy myself. Really? I was “Adult Swim.” So, yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. “Robot Chicken” used to scare me. The theme song used to give me really bad anxiety. So I had to turn it off. I ate the Szechuan sauce, and I thought it was perfectly fine. Thought we were having a moment. No, sorry. “Adult Swim, ” I didn’t watch a ton of. I loved “Adult Swim.” “King of the Hill,” “Simpsons,” “South Park.” That was kinda my big three. “Family Guy” as well. I liked “Family Guy.” But you got into the kind weirder stuff, like “Aqua Teen Hunger Force.” I loved. So I was just like, I don’t. I loved, what’s the one with Death Clock? I don’t know. Metal… It was like a metal show. Oh, the metal one. The metal show. “Metalocalypse.” “Metalocalypse.” “Metalocalypse.” It was funny. I played sports. I liked Xavier. That was a weird one. Okay, I wrote down a list of my all-time favorite discontinued foods. Okay, Joshua. You wanna take it away? I had talked about Caramel Apple Empanada. I’m just gonna list ’em off to you. See if you remember any of these. This one is a bit of a deep cut, but it was, I don’t know about ahead of its time. I freaking loved this. I thought it was so well done. Wendy’s Ciabatta Bacon Cheeseburger. Was this the one with Asiago? No. “Asiago! Asiago!” Wendy’s, I don’t know why they bet so big on Asiago. “Asiago! Asiago!” Do you remember those ads? Yes, there it was a multi, multi-million dollar ad campaign around Asiago cheese. Which is fine. It was a fine… I don’t know, it’s like… It’d be like betting the horse on Muenster, Fontina. They’re fine cheeses, just, I don’t know if it’s special enough to launch a whole line of fast food. I think I understand the thought process. Asiago, bagels, very, very good. Asiago on another bread that is similar to a bagel or ciabatta, very good? And probably low enough cost. I think I got where they’re coming from. I think it’s cheap. It’s cheap. It’s not like Reggiano or Pecorino. Those actually have government protections on. Like a stamp of approval. Yeah, for real. But Asiago has none of that. So you can kind of call anything Asiago. And also it’s Italian, so it sounds fancy. Which is this psychology of why Wendy’s introduced a Ciabatta Bacon Cheeseburger and a Ciabatta Chicken Sandwich. Did they come out at the same time as the Asiago sandwich? It was around the same era. It was that, and also the Frescata line, which I also have in here. Okay ’cause I can see through line of the roasted tomato, the garlic aioli, the Asiago. It all makes sense… Roasted tomato on a burger is one of my favorite things in the world. It is, I know that. I roast my own tomatoes at home all the time I’m making burgers. I know. And also the Ciabatta, it was like… It was still fast food bread, right? So it was still cakey and soft enough, but had just enough chew and yield to it, you know? It was perfect. It was perfect. The garlic and aioli. Aw, so passionate. It was so good, and then Wendy’s, they completely flipped their entire… ‘Cause they had the Frescata, the Ciabatta, the Asiago, very Italian. Trying to be the fresh maker, right, of the fast food world. And then the Baconator came out and they’re like, “Oh, all people want is more bacon and cheese-” And fat. And burger patties and fat. And it kind of killed me. I thought Wendy’s was… They were really cooking in the mid-2000s. Mm. And then they had to go back to their core competencies and it’s just bacon everything. Well, yeah, it makes sense. It makes sense. Other ones, I have Taco Bell Naked Chicken Chalupa. That was awesome. Audacious. That was awesome. And the most audacious menu item I’ve ever seen. It was beautiful. It was beautiful. They took a Chalupa, which is already a very specific regional… Love Chalupas. Mexican food. It is like a small tostada. You dip the tortilla oil, you depress it with a ladle and it creates a little hole. And Chalupa means a little boat. And then Taco Bell, they took naan bread, right? And they cut it into a circle and they deep fried it. And then they called that a Chalupa. Mm. But then Taco Bell took chicken meat. They took chicken forced meat. And they made that into a circle. And they breaded that. And they fried just chicken. It’s a fried naan-shaped little boat named chicken forced meat shell. Josh, this is just capitalizing on the protein keto craze. It was. I know, I know. Because when this came… When did this come out? This would’ve been what? Four years again? 2014? Not 2014, this would’ve been like 2018. 2018. Are you sure? 2019. Okay, 2019 maybe. I’m saying 2019. Okay, you could say 2019. I’m saying that. ‘Cause I used to go to the grocery store and I would see all these new things popping up. Like a chicken crust, or like chicken this and chicken that. And it was just- Egg wrap. Yeah, exactly. Egg wrap. That’s called a omelet, homie. That’s called a omelet. Your egg wrap? That’s called a omelet. Like all of these health conscious or health aware foods. So you’re not eating bread and stuff. And this is just a response to that. But it’s just a fast food response to that. Humans are so stupid. I think they’re pretty smart. I think humans are smart and innovative. Stop. You need to do me a favor, Josh. In order for you to continue to be the jovial young, stunning man you are, you need to be happier. There are literally health food products out there called fat bomb. I know. That are advertising how high of a fat content they have. And then saying it’s for health reasons. Why are you mad about it? Because we’re very… Some people need to go into ketosis or whatever. Yeah, like children with epilepsy to prevent their seizures. Which that is why the diet was created in the first place anyways. Why are you still holding this Sharpie? I like Sharpies. My point is, the Naked Chicken Chalupa, I don’t know if it’s endorsed officially by the keto community. It’s endorsed by me though. But by the protein community. By the protein community, certainly, even though I don’t believe the macros on it, whatever. I’m gonna talk about… I am not caring about the macros. Lemme tell you that. I liked it because it was just fried chicken with Banchan inside it. Right? It was just a piece of fried chicken. And then inside was like a sauce. And lettuce and tomato. Banchan is a stretch. I just love… I don’t think Banchan is the right word. What about ingredients. Sure, but I love eating meats with just acidic and crunchy things. And that’s all this was. It was just fried meats with acidic and crunchy things. The only thing it was missing, a little . A little of beef. Oh. Why did they not put beef in there? I think people would be turned off by it. I want the beef. I want the beef sludge with my chicken. You know what’s so crazy about Taco Bell? You can customize it. This is before the custom… You could still ask, but I was too ashamed. Oh, yeah, so you wanted them to do it for you so you wouldn’t feel ashamed. You want it just naturally in the charter. So you didn’t have to do it yourself. And this would’ve been just after their Chicken Chips. Right? Which was Taco Bell’s foray into the nugget category. I think I remember those. And then they also had their foray into the chicken sandwich category. Oh, yeah. I did not like that either. Taco Bell, I feel… They have perfected so many items that it’s really difficult for them to come out with new ones. Did they ever do taquitos? They called them… Yeah, they did. They did. But they, of course, called them rolled dipping tacos. They were cheese filled, right? No, so they had some that were filled with shredded chicken and they were proper… Like what you’d find in the freezer section taquitos. But another great discontinued Taco Bell menu item were called the Loaded Grillers. I remember the Loaded- Chipotle Chicken Loaded Griller, light me up. It was like a Mayonnaise-y sauce in there, right? Yeah, I remember that very well. The delivery mechanism for Chipotle has to be mayonnaise. And the mayonnaise has to get hot, and then the mayonnaise melts with the chicken, becomes a gravy, you see? But they were really, really good. I remember… This is just a love letter to Taco Bell at this point. You know there’s other places to talk about? We gotta talk about other places. We got through Wendy’s. I didn’t care for Wendy’s. We’re still missing my… You don’t care for any Wendy’s? No. I’ll eat it sometimes. To me they lost their identity that made me love them. I will say their Frosty game, I love. And the french fries- Strawberry Frosty is great. Their french fries are good. I like the skin on them. Because I used to go to Wendy’s for all the things that I couldn’t find at a Burger King, at Carl’s Jr., or anything. I mean, the chili, the baked potato, the Caesar salad, the Frescata sandwiches. They filled in the cracks. They were the caulk. If I needed those things, I would just go to the store. The were the caulk that filled the crack. I’m happy you’ve said caulk twice on this podcast now. Sorry, I had to. Mature. Grow up, Josh. What’s up? We haven’t mentioned my favorite one of all time. Oh my gosh, what is it? Should we mention it now or should I save it? Because we can… We still have more time to talk about Carl’s Jr. What does Carl’s Jr do? They had all the cool burgers. They had all the cool burgers. All of them. The million dollar burgers everyone’s- And $6 burger. Oh, sorry. I thought it was a million dollars. No. Well, the $6 burger. But they called it that. The $6 burger was a dig at places like Denny’s. Where Denny’s, you would go there and you’d get a burger and it would cost $6 and they’re like, “Our $6 burger is actually $2.49,” or whatever. But now inflation that is caught up. Oh, okay. So $6 for a burger used to be expensive and that meant it would be thick and nice. I don’t remember that at all. This was like 2000, 2001, something like that. Wow. How old was I in 2001? Nine? Eight, Nine? Yeah, I wasn’t buying burgers. But then inflation caught up so quick that they had to rename it to just the Thickburger. Okay. But they have played around so much in that territory and I think they’ve found some really great stuff. They had the El Diablo Thickburger, which they recently brought back. That was fantastic. They had fried jalapeno poppers. Oh, yeah. On the burger. Oh my gosh, I do remember. And then they’re also responsible for some of the worst discontinued fast food items of all time. Including the Most American Thickburger. Oh yeah, didn’t it have a hot dog. Uh-oh, hot dog. Bob Haley, come on the show. Come on, man. I give you little kiss right here. And then also maybe right here. Yeah, it a hot dog and potato chips. But the potato chips are on top of the lettuce. That sounds… And they got wet. Josh, can I tell you something? That sounds like a dream to eat at a barbecue when you’re seven and your hands are still wet from the pool. You take your goggles- I thought you gonna say say seven beers deep. Oh, no. Because I agree with that. Oh, no. I guess 7-year-old me coming outta the pool is very similar to seven beers deep me now. We have similar… We both have wet hands going into Dorito bags. It’s a shame that they discontinued that. I agree. Was it with the side of Freedom Fries or something? No, but the… Yo, their marketing campaign… They had all the sexy lady marketing campaigns. I loved those ads. I know they were a little bit sexist or whatever, but I love- Paris Hilton riding the bull. The car cleaning. Paris Hilton washing the car. I loved them. Kim Kardashian eating salad in a bathtub because she couldn’t eat a burger. Oh yeah, and then the drip of sauce. The drip of dressing. I remember that ad. Very suggestive dressing. I like it, I thought it was fun. What was the ad that was like, “Twins.” That was Coors Light. “I like…” “And twins.” “I like burritos at 4:00 AM.” That really conditioned a whole generation of young men to think that casual incest was just very normal. Like that was the thing we were supposed to desire, was being in a romantic partnership with two identical twins who are presumably going to be… It was very strange time- Remember the lyrics? For all of us. ♪ I love ♪ ♪ Sports in big… ♪ ♪ Big cars ♪ ♪ I love weekends ♪ This is the third bar. ♪ And beer and twins ♪ It was that. ♪ I love burritos at 4:00 AM ♪ ♪ Chilling with my friends ♪ ♪ And… ♪ ♪ And twins ♪ Very good. God, no. But that had the same energy as Carl’s Jr. commercials. Totally. No, I think it was for the El Diablo Thickburger. The commercial was like… They were at the Mexican-American border and it was like… They were playing volleyball like… Oh, my gosh. Maybe over a border fence. And there were hot Latina women and hot American women. And the crowd coalesced over them just objectifying women. And it was like, “We’re all the same. El Diablo Thickburger.” And I’m watching this a 14-year-old just like, “Word. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. Carl’s Junior has had an incredible arc and I have a deep love for them. Let’s talk about Burger King. Their Santa Fe chicken sandwich is great. Oh, sorry. Burger King. Oh yeah, Burger King. They’ve been at the peak of innovation. There’s one thing that I have to mention that I feel like we would also do and we would be so proud of ourselves doing. What? The Mac and Cheetos. I literally invented those. Wait, you know the story. What? Do you not know the story? You invented them? No. Did you talk about this on the podcast? I dunno if you’ve talked about it before. I’ve talked about it somewhere, but… Are you sure you can say this without getting sued by Big Burger? A hundred percent. No, no, no, no, no. So what had happened was I created a recipe for breaded mac and cheese fries. Fries. No, but I mean, they were exactly like what Burger King ended up doing. Shaped the same? Correct. In the curl of a Cheeto. It was not in the curl of a Cheeto. And I didn’t crust them with Cheetos. I crusted them with Chicharrones. But lemme tell you this story. Okay, continue. It’s okay. So I made mac and cheese log fries crusted in Chicharrones. And then I put chili on ’em, and I wrote it on my blog “Culinary Bro-Down.” Kyle Marcoux, the Vulgar Chef, who has now been featured on GMM many times, he made a video and wrote a blog post where he was like, “I’m gonna crust mac and cheese fries in Cheetos.” And he shouts me out in the description of his video and says, “Hey, I’m taking inspiration from Josh over at CulinaryBrodown.com.” And six months later, outcome Mac and Cheetos from Burger King using the exact same method that Kyle Marcoux did. Do I think that this is just convergent evolution and it all happened at the same time? Burger King, you probably have to work on new menu items for years. Maybe, but I’d like to think that Kyle Marcoux, the Vulgar Chef, with the assist . Pow, alleyoop from me, invented Mac and Cheetos. And it still hurts both of us that we’ve seen zero Mac and cheese money. Kyle, you deserve better, man. You are entitled to compensation. Please call DOG-POD1 to state your claim. Or if you have mesothelioma… Did you think they were good? The Mac and Cheetos? No. Yeah, I’ve never had a fried mac and cheese that I thought was better than just a bowl of mac and cheese. Oh no, well, Cheesecake Factory does a good mac and cheese fried ball. Really? Yeah, I like it. I don’t know if I need it to be fried. I like it. I don’t even know if I like breadcrumbs on mac and cheese. Okay. I like Ritz on my mac and cheese. No, my favorite fast food item that’s been discontinued of all time. There’s just not that much to say about it, except, “Popeye’s, you gotta bring back the spicy loaded chicken wrap.” Those chicken wraps were fire. That’s the only negative thing you can say about Popeye’s. They were so fire. ‘Cause they had the red beans and rice in a softer tortilla. The tortillas were weirdly orange. Nobody knows why. Those were good. And then there was just a chicken strip in there and you got the vinegary hot sauce- Really good. You get fried chicken, mushy beans and rice in a burrito, and they were like $1.29. You load it up with Louisiana hot sauce. And that was the greatest fast food menu item of all time. I think I agree with you. And it’s gone. It was really good. And then you take the mac and cheese and put a little bit on it. Yeah. You make the world your oyster. It was truly a great time. I once went to a house party when I was 16- You went to house parties? What? No way. Actually I went with my brother to his friend’s house party, and it was- Like in “Hereditary.” I’ve never seen that movie. You’ve seen “Hereditary?” I’ve talked about it 80 times with you in the hopes that you would watch it. Yeah, no, of course. No, I’m never gonna watch “Hereditary.” I don’t like to be scared. I’m a coward. That’s how I fight against toxic masculinity is I just be a coward. But I ate six of ’em. I ate six of ’em at midnight and it was the greatest meal of my life. At a party? No, afterwards. We were in the drive-thru. We had a DD. Aw, cute. And also I was 16 so we’re all sober. And we drove through . Your eyebrow raised. You’re right eyebrow… Everything safely and in moderation except for spicy loaded tortilla wraps. When Josh lies or has an aside, he raises one eyebrow. And that’s what I’ve discovered from being friends with you for how many years. So we agree. Yeah, Popeye’s Spicy Loaded Chicken Wrap. Yeah, bring it back. Bring it back from the past like the show we do. And bring ciabatta back to society in general. We miss it. I love ciabatta. You don’t love ciabatta. I don’t love ciabatta. Get the hell out. It’s too chewy. I’d rather eat focaccia. It’s fluffier. Fair. Ever wonder why the Choco Taco went away or whatever happened to Snackwells? How about Kudos bars? Sporked has the intel on all of these discontinued snacks and more. Head over to Sporked.com to read those articles and more. All right, Nicole. Hey, we’ve heard what you and I had to say. Now it’s time to find out what other whack-a-doodle ideas are floating out there in the universe. It’s time for a segment we call… “Opinions are like Casseroles.” Genetically, what makes somebody able to sing and why can’t I do it? I think you can sing. No, I’m like the penguin from “Happy Feet.” I can’t do it. ♪ Do ♪ ♪ Do ♪ ♪ Re ♪ Of to a horrible start. All right, before we get to that, we’re gonna do everyone’s favorite segment, review our reviews, this is where we take one of your reviews from Apple Podcasts…. Please go out there and review us and we review it ourselves. This one is from Hannah Duvall, “Ice in Cereal, five stars. Josh, do you really put ice in your cereal?” First off, I’m giving this review five stars off the bat. Because I love that you tried to reach me through our Apple Podcasts reviews page as opposed to any direct social link. But it works. And it works because my DMs are flooded. Mostly the pics of what you’d think. Nudes. Yeah, but only from men. ’cause men are grosser than not men. So anyways… . Talk about putting words in my mouth, am I right? They tell me to put other… Anyways, so do I really put ice in my cereal? It is not a matter of policy, but Justine Sterling editor-in-chief of Sporked.com mentioned that it’s actually very good. And I eat like a lot of iced milk desserts. When I say a lot of iced milk desserts, I mean one. I mean Che Thai, the Vietnamese dessert. There’s ice floating with a bunch of various jellies and lychee and other fruits in a sweetened pandan coconut milk. Yummy. And the ice just keeps it so cool. And I was like, “Why not put ice in dairy milk?” There’s no reason you wouldn’t want to, and be like, “It waters it down.” Drink faster. So I put ice in my cereal and it keeps the milk very cold, and it’s a delight. However, when you can’t get the ice cube off the spoon, you gotta crunch through the cereal and the ice. That’s rough. You gotta get big ice cubes. You can’t use pebble ice. Like a whiskey cube. Yeah, a whiskey cube. Exactly. That be perfect. I agree. I would love to eat it out of an ice bowl. But I would never do this because it’s silly. It’s very silly. Okay. Okay. Five stars. Let’s get to those minions. I’m gonna make you practice singing later. I wasn’t expecting that. Why not? Nobody ever is. Nicole, Josh. Oh, yeah. First off, love the show. Thanks, buddy. If I may, for just a moment… You may. Taco Bell. Oh. They bring back items like the Enchirito or the Double Decker and everyone loses their mind. Why on earth have they not brought back the volcano nacho sauce line? Maybe it’s just me. Was that not the epitome of the history of Taco Bell? I mean, I feel like it outranks today when everyone’s favorite Chihuahua introduced to Chalupa. It’s better than what we have now. Yo quiero Taco Bell. So what’s up with that? Or am I just crazy? I thought it was the best. Hmm. I have a lot of thoughts. Didn’t they bring it back for a second? Am I imagining that? Did they bring back the volcano? Maggie, can you look that up real quick? I don’t know if they ever did. We’ve recreated it and I remember when the volcano menu came out. There’s a volcano burrito and a volcano taco and it was a very exciting time. The volcano sauce, or the lava sauce, they called it was actually quite spicy and it was delicious. I think a couple reasons why they’ve brought back other menu items, say the Double Decker Taco, they already have all the ingredients there. Right? It just was literally taking up too much space on a menu board. But they could always make it. And now with their new customization plan, you can just make it yourself effectively, right? Bringing back lava sauce would sort of mean negating all of their, say the rattlesnake sauce was a new thing they had with the rattlesnake fries and the rattlesnake burrito. Was that the habanero? I don’t even know what… Because they’ve done some ghost chili things before. Yeah, that’s true. But basically lava sauce is lost out through the sands of history to ghost pepper, creamy ghost pepper ranch or whatever they called it. That might have been a Wendy’s thing. I think that’s a Wendy’s thing. But taco Bell has had so many creamy red sauces with newer, more exciting names that there must not be a thing. And then… Did they bring it back? They brought back the volcano sauce. Yeah. Yeah, look at that. Just the sauce. Look at ’em go. But then the red taco shells without any additional flavoring, I think would be too confusing given the fact that they had red taco shells with the fiery Doritos Locos taco. Oh, it was Doritos… Oh yeah, why did I think it was Flamin’ Hot? They never got the Flamin’ Hot branding on it and I don’t know why. Mm. From what I’ve heard, I don’t know if this is verified, the agreement to do Doritos Locos Tacos was almost like a handshake agreement between Frito-Lay and PepsiCo. Interesting. Which owns Taco Bell and Yum brands. And so there was some just weird legality behind it. But they never did Flamin’ Hot. They did Fiery. They discontinued Fiery, which I would again add to my list of best discontinued items. Yeah, that was good. That was good. Right? The cool ranch is fine. And then the nacho cheese is not my favorite. I didn’t like it. Me too. It clashes. Yeah, I agree. Because there’s real cheese on it already. Oh my god, yeah, exactly. I don’t like the chemical cheese with the real cheese. Exactly my thought process. They cross each other out. So they already had a better red taco shell. I weep for the volcano menu. I wish I could go back to eat that. And also the Black Jack taco with the black dyed taco shell in creamy pepper jack sauce. No, I never saw that one. But I understand exactly where you’re coming from. I had the same nostalgia, but I also understand why Taco Bell would not bring it back. Astute question. Hi Josh and Nicole. My name is Lily, I’m from Idaho. I wanted to ask your opinion about finger steaks. A kind of an Idaho thing. What’s the vibe? What do you think? My opinion is that they’re better than chicken nuggets. Okay. Trevor has made us finger steaks before. He is also an Idaho native. Shout out, Boise. Shout out, Marin County. Marin County? His family’s from Marin- Isn’t it Meridian? I think his family’s from a place called Meridian. Oh, did I say Marin? Isn’t it Marin County a rich county in California? Yeah, it’s in San Francisco. I got confused, I’m sorry. I mean, Meridian. Shout out to the Vault Cigar Lounge in Boise. Yeah, Vault Cigar. Yeah, finger steaks are good. They’re not better than chicken nuggets though. But I’m a chicken nugget connoisseur. So finger steaks are a chicken fried steak. Oh yeah, explain to people what it is. Right? I’m not missing this up. It’s a chicken fried steak, but the steaks are cut into strips beforehand. A.K.A fingers. So it’s chicken fingers, but it’s steak fingers. Except they, for some reason, call it finger steaks. That’s right. Personally, these are not my favorite. I think frying… Even chicken fried steak, I like the idea of more than I like the taste of it. And I’ve been to some of the best spots in Oklahoma City. I agree with this. I’ve eaten it. I get the appeal. It’s real cowboy cuisine, right? It is hearty. I don’t eat it. I’m more there for the fried, anything covered in gravy, right? I think the steak is not the best thing to fry. I’m not personally the biggest fan of finger steaks, but you go a little bit more north to the Dakotas and you get… What do they call it? Chi… Is it Chislic? Have you ever had Shishlik? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s like a Turkish thing. Yeah, I’ve heard of Shishlik. There’s an Americanified version of Shishlik, I think called Chislic. That’s just little tooth-picked meat gobbets up in the Dakotas. Yes, correct. So yeah, go a little more north and then you’ll find the regional delicacies that I love, chislic. Hey Josh, Nicole. This is Jordan from Minnesota. Love the pod. Great regional food spot. My opinion is that I judge every Chinese takeout restaurant based off of their sesame chicken. If the sesame chicken is not good, it’s not a good Chinese restaurant. Okay. Thanks, love the pod. Bye. That’s me with fried rice. Andrea… At the Chinese takeout spots you grew up going to, did they have something called sesame chicken? No, only orange chicken. Same. So Minnesota is actually one of the nexuses of regional Chinese-American food delineation, right? Mm, oh. So from how I understand it- There are all words that I understand. How I understand it. Crazy. There’s a fantastic documentary called “Searching for General Tso.” And I don’t even know how to pronounce General Tso because so many people pronounce it in so many different ways. General Sau. General Sau, whatever you wanna call it. Which he was a real person by the way. They go into it in the documentary. You have to watch documentary. I’m Google this. I’m not gonna remember the whole story, but what I learned is that orange chicken was invented in Pasadena, California by the Panda Restaurant Group. Then the Panda- So damn good. General Tso’s was a very East Coast thing. I didn’t even grow up with General Tso’s chicken because every Chinese place here had orange chicken, Sesame chicken, I believe, and maybe lemon chicken are, I think, invented in… I mean, Sesame Chicken is a bigger category. But I think those specific ways of preparing it are very much a Minnesota, specifically Minneapolis, thing. So the type of Chinese-American food that you grew up with in Minnesota is going to be different than what we grew up with in Southern California. And I think that’s beautiful, because I would judge every Chinese restaurant on their orange chicken, you’re right. That’s the main menu item, is a fried chicken nugget, effectively, My question- Covered in sugar. So are you saying orange chicken, General Tso’s and sesame chicken are all similar but not the same? Correct. Cool. And they’re all based off of what I believe is a Hunanese dish that is called citrus-peeled chicken that has vaguely some connection to General Tso. I would love to try that. Same. Orange peel chicken? They probably use bitter orange peel or mandarin peel in it. Probably Mandarin. I mean, a lot of citrus in in East Asia. Yeah. But yeah, check out the documentary “Searching for General Tso,” it’s fascinating. Hey Josh, Nicole. This is Rice from Northern Virginia. Long time caller- Rice? First time listener. Cool name. Anyway, I just wanted to say that little oyster crackers that you get for putting on top of soups and chowders and all of that, they are a trash option. And what we should use instead is kettle-cooked potato chips. Oh, you’re right. They get that nice texture of being both fried and wet. You’re right. Love that texture. Josh, I know you’re also a fan of fried wet things and wet potato chips, in general. Yeah. It adds more flavor, more texture. It’s just generally a better thing. Anyway, love the pod. It’s my favorite way to learn about extremism. Have a good one. Oh, that’s a good dark turn. You’re right. Rice, you’re right. At first I was like, no- That we teach people about extremism. Oh no, about the oyster crackers. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We don’t teach people about extremism. It’s always been a common fascination of mine. What what extremism have we taught people? I have expressed… Like when I casually throw out things like the state is only defined by its monopoly on violence. It’s a paraphrasing of a Max Weber quote from the early-1900s. Things like that are kind of in that line. What I’m saying is if the chowder’s perfectly seasoned, It doesn’t need anything. Well, do I want to add more… Salt to it? Salt to it. Well, okay, no, but hear me out. A chef once told me under-seasoned plus seasoned equals under-seasoned. Seasoned plus seasoned equals seasoned. If that makes sense. I don’t agree with that. Oyster crackers are under-seasoned, right? They’re bland. They’re just bland. And so if your clam chowder’s perfectly seasoned, you’re adding something bland to it, you’re reducing the seasoning. But potato chips are perfectly seasoned. But are you willing to take… Are you willing to sacrifice a little bit of seasoning for a better texture? Yeah, absolutely. Always? And you’re saying that oyster crackers have a better texture than potato chips? Yeah, they do. But I like the idea of putting potato chips in my soup. Same. It needs the crunchiness. It’s like a chicken tortilla soup. I mean, you put the tortilla, fried tortilla chips in the soup. That’s a delight. Oh my gosh, my sister used to be such a chicken tortilla soup girl. I used to make fun of her all the time. I hated it. I don’t love it. I despise it. It’s a very American thing. They thicken it with like… I just tasted in my mouth. They thicken it with tortillas, right? Yeah, masa. I don’t like it. You don’t like that? Oh, I love it. I like the wet tortillas in there. I don’t like it. I used to be like, “You’re drinking tortillas.” And she’s like, “Shut up, Nicole.” Ain’t nothing wrong with that. It’s like, what’s the drink? Atole. I like Atole. It’s like masa and candy. I love Atole. I love Atole. I’ve made Atole many times. Yeah, it’s good stuff. Champurrado, that’s another good one, man. Made Champurrado many times. But anyways, I’ve never tried that. I’ve never tried potato chips in my clam chowder, which seems shocking to me. And now I’m gonna try it, especially kettle cooked. Like you said, wet soaking into fried. You’re right, you’re right. That’s gonna hold up a lot better than a Lay’s standard cook. Ooh, Ruffles might be nice in there too. I never like Ruffles. Oh, what you and I like… There’s ridges. You don’t fancy cuts. You and I merked a bag of Ruffles Extreme Ridges Buffalo Chicken with a basketball player on it. Do you not remember that? Was a Jason Tatum, I think. I don’t remember. Until he wins a ring, I’m not eating his Ruffles anymore. All right, well… Oh, that’s it. That’s it. Are we done? We’ve run out of time. Well, we talk so much. We do talk so much. Well, thank y’all for listening to “A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.” Sorry for teaching you about extremism. We got new audio-only episodes every Wednesday. Video comes out on Sunday. ♪ Do ♪ What am I supposed to do after that? ♪ Do, Re ♪ Even I can do it. No, but it’s like a scale, like it goes up in pitch. ♪ Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do ♪ Do you want me to give an earnest attempt at doing that? Yeah. I won’t look at you. ♪ Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do ♪ That is earnest, dude. I swear that’s the best I can do. We’re gonna work on it. I know, I don’t know to do it. We’re gonna work on it. If you want to be featured on Opinions or Casseroles, hit us up at DOG-POD1 The number again is DOG-POD1. Bro, when I’m at karaoke, when I’m doing the oke, I’m all stage presence, no singing ability. I know. You know what I mean? Of course. You know what I mean? I’ve been there. Also, I’ve rewatched the video of me doing that recently with my phone and you can hear the glass that you shattered. I didn’t shatter it. That wasn’t… You were at that table. I did not shatter it. No, there were four people at that table and none of you take responsibility for shattering glass. Who shattered the glass? I literally did not do it. There’s shattered glass under my feet. I’m jumping, getting the crowd pumped up in the mosh pit. I know who it was. I’m not gonna call them out on the podcast. Katrina, Katrina “Chappie.” It was Katrina. Anyways, from more “Mythical Kitchen,” check out the other videos. got new episodes every week. See y’all next time. She denied it to my face. She’s a liar. I wasn’t mad about it. I was just like- Katrina, you lied. It was you. They lemme me finish the song and then afterwards, you hear the DJ be like, “That was Josh with ‘Chop Suey” by System of a Down. Everybody, please be careful of the broken glass.” You’re so proud.