If you like bubbly, you’re basic. If you like Topo Chico, you’re a hipster. And if you like spindrift, you have ascended to a higher astral plane where a juicy stratosphere protects you from the ways of the world, you are impervious to any demons that shall be cast upon thee. This is a hotdog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah I put ice in my cereal. So what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to, “A Hot Dog is a Sandwich,” the show where we break down the world’s big is food debates. I’m your host Josh Scherer. And I’m your host, Nicole Enayati. And, sorry, I got weird with the demon stuff. I was listening to a podcast this morning about a Pentecostal preacher. Really? He was casting devils out of everybody. So you like to listen to podcasts? Does that surprise you? I hate podcasts. I don’t listen to any podcasts. You’re like the person- Did you know that about me? I recently went to a restaurant and they had a nice big beer list and I asked the server, “What’s your favorite beer? “What should I drink?” He just goes, “I don’t drink beer.” And I was like, well, lie to me. Nicole, you’re hosting a podcast with me. Lie to me. Tell me that you like podcasts. Can I tell you why I don’t listen to podcasts too much? Yeah. Convince our listeners that they should stop. No, no, no. Let’s do it. Lemme tell you, if I were to listen to a podcast, I feel like I would meld my vision into that of the podcast I’m listening to. And I just wanna be myself on this podcast. That’s a fair point because this was an Ira Glass podcast. It was a throwback to, “This American life.” Oh it was? Yeah, yeah. And do you remember the first podcast that we recorded? Yeah. Where I was doing an Ira Glass impersonation? Yeah. And I was so ashamed about it that we rerecorded the entire first episode. It’s okay. You have to learn. You gotta learn. You gotta learn. But yeah, that’s why I don’t listen to… I mean, like, I listen to like the Dead Meat podcast, like, I don’t listen to the podcast. I like, you know, the Dead Meat channel? Yeah. I like listen to it while I’m like driving or like doing my makeup. So like, I’m not watching it. You’re just watching YouTube videos while you drive? No, no, no. I don’t watch them. I listen to them specifically Dead Meat, ’cause it’s the best. Today we’re talking about what is the best sparkling water as you can physically hear my cup of sparkling water over here. bubbling in the microphone. Mine too, do you hear that? Do you hear that? I hear mine. Mine is echoing in my ear. But sparkling water, Nicole, it is a category that has been around for, well, hundreds of years. I love sparkling water. I am a huge fan. But it has recently exploded. I remember God, probably about 10 years ago when La Croix hit Costco. Really? That was the sparkle apocalypse. You know, it was like office culture for me. Like not, I used to work in like random offices here and there, but here the La Croix boom was like a next level thing. Like people were drinking La Croix’s crushing, you specifically. All you would do would you would drink like eight sparkling waters a day, it was alarming. Oh, I still do. I still do. It was alarming. No, but because I love it. But when I grew up I remember like hating sparkling water. So weird. And then I think it was La Croix having like a cool package that actually got me to start drinking it. And also I drank so many freaking diet, low calorie, low sugar beverages. for so long and now it’s like, oh my God. The pure taste of water with bubbles in it. Holy smokes. But it’s not a pure taste of water. There’s like, even, even like the plain or clear ones, they have like this weird metallicy taste almost like there’s like- That’s the minerals baby. Is it the minerals? Oh that’s the unique proprietary mineral blends. So what’s the difference between like mineral water and sparkling water? Is there even a difference between the two? No. Like all sparkling water does have minerals in it. People will argue that there are differences between soda water, seltzer water, et cetera. And I believe it ultimately comes down to seltzer water being artificially carbonated. Whatever that quite means. But like I use a soda stream at home. Do you really? Yes. Dude, I drink like two liters of sparkling water a day out of the soda stream. That’s crazy. Why did you frown at me like I just told you I’ve been doing black tar heroin? I dunno. I guess it was just- It’s good for you maybe. All those bubbles. It like, doesn’t it… Is that why you burp? Yes. No, that Nicole, that actually is why I am burping constantly. Have you ever thought about, hear me out, just drinking still water? I don’t enjoy still water But life isn’t all about enjoyment. You can’t be a hedonist 24/7. Oh yeah. Real hedonistic. I’m drinking zero calorie sparkling water. Whoa. My god. I’m like the Marquis de Sade over here for my freaking lemon cello La Croix. No, but to me it like brings a lot of joy to my life. And I think a lot of people, they have their brands that they drink and they don’t exactly think about why. So we need to like, break down some components of how we’re judging our sparkling water. Sure. Should we start with like the least flavorful to the most flavorful? Well, what does flavorful mean to you? And are we…. That’s a great question. So the La Croix that I have poured into my, don’t talk to me until I’ve had my hot dog water mug, this is the mint mojito flavored La Croix, Which tastes like you went out drinking, and then you threw up and then you put some chewing gum in your mouth and it’s that breath. It’s mojito vomit breath. Gum breath. That’s what it tastes like. Am I wrong? To me it’s more like if you spilled some Vick’s vapo rub. If you rub Vick’s vapo rub on like the stylus of the soda stream and then just dunked it in there. There’s like a little stylus that pumps out the gas. You just rub that with Vick’s vapo rub ’cause you like, I don’t know, thought it would lube it up a little bit. Yeah. It’s not great, but are we putting flavored seltzers or flavored sparkling water in the category of the other sparkling waters? I think we should. I think we should, because as much as I love like plain sparkling water, I feel like the incredible amount of cool flavors is just getting more and more. I agree with that. But where do we draw the line on that? Because I have an answer. Does it become juice? When does it become juice? Is that what you’re asking? When does it become a soda pop? A soda? Mm. I think sugar or fake sugar. Quanto sugar. How much sugar? Not too much. But like, okay- Just a little. There’s one brand that I’m thinking about that we need to decide if it should even be represented. Spindrift? It’s Spindrift, baby. Okay, let me tell you. The other day I had a Spindrift. What’s it called? Not a truly, but it’s basically a Truly, what’s it called, the seltzers? Did you just drink down a Spindrift and add vodka to it? No, no, no. It was like a prepackaged, what are they called? I’m so sorry. This is a sparkling water podcast. You have to give me some grace Nicole. You have to. I don’t have to give you anything other other than a breath mint. Also, it smells like ham and mustard. Nicole, the breath mint is built into the mint La Croix. I literally despise you right now. I’m so sorry. I hit a lot of Zatarain’s Creole mustard during breakfast. It’s such a good mustard. What is that? What is it called whenever it’s like, it’s a sparkling water plus a grain alcohol? Oh. I mean, yeah, they call it a seltzer. Are they called hard seltzer? Hard seltzer, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a Spindrift hard seltzer. Wait, like Spindrift proper brand? Yes, yes, yes. They’re making hard now? Yes, yes, yes. Damn dude, everyone’s getting hard. And can I tell you that was my favorite hard seltzer I’ve had. But whenever it comes to just drinking a Spindrift, like in the office, too much acid, too much juice. And I can’t… It’s not neutral enough. The one thing I love about sparkling water is that it’s neutral plus bubbles, plus a little bit of flavor. There’s almost too much flavor in Spindrift. that it turns me off and I’m like, this is marring my experience. Oh man, Spindrift to me… So for people that don’t know what Spindrift did, if we can sort of back all this up, I think a lot of the sparkling water trend is people’s fear of diet soda. I think the anti-aspartame trend really got people to sort of kick Diet Coke as a habit and turn that right to sparkling water. It’s a fun beverage. It’s in a can that you can just crack open and it’s got like just enough flavor essence, but no artificial sweeteners. And also there tends to be no citric acid. So if you get a lemon La Croix. A lemon La Croix, right, it’s not lemon juice in your La Croix. It is lemon essence, which is the steeped rind. Is lemon La Croix not sour? No. Oh. We just talked about perceived acidity. Shout out Ariel Johnson from the show. She was talking about perceived acidity where you smell lemon zest and you assume acid. That’s why when you add lemon juice to say a stew early on in the cooking process, it tastes less sour later. It’s not because the acid denatured, it’s because you’re not smelling lemon, ’cause the the aroma is cooked out. It evaporated. The aromas evaporate with the cooking, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so lemon La Croix is not sour. It is merely essence. That’s so nuts. I know, right. But what Spindrift did was they were like, okay, we can put a nominal amount of lemon juice in this and make it taste sour. And there’s a little bit of sugar and lemon juice as well. And so each Spindrift has like six, seven calories, which is completely negligible. But I love just sparkling water and lemon juice. Nicole, when I soda stream- I disagree with you. I disagree. Oh, but what about the raspberry? They have a raspberry lemon. I don’t know what it is. Lemme tell you, again, I love their hard seltzers. I think they do a great job. But something about the acidity, it just turns me off to the point where I think it’s because the bubbles also kind of, they create this sensation in your mouth where you’re like, hmm, acid or hmm, bubbling, which equates to acid. So it’s almost too much acid. Yeah. For me, I also feel the same about Waterloo. Now I don’t know if Waterloo necessarily has any sort of like juice content in it, but it’s really flavored. Like it’s like- Yeah, I agree with that. Triple La Croix flavored, and again, it mars my experience. And typically I’m not… Like right now I’m drinking a guava La Croix. But like typically I’m not doing that on its own. It’s a accompanied by a meal typically. Wait, that’s your, like La Croix is your mealtime little treat? Not La Croix.. No. What do you mean? You said that your sparkling water is normally accompanied by a meal, but that’s your- My sparking water is, yeah. I don’t raw dog sparkling water. You don’t raw dog? Aw man. You got a raw dog the sparkies. Unless I have a coffee on the side and I need to change my palate. That’s literally what I did this morning. Wait, you and I are so much more alike than different. You just found out, I’ve known you for five years. ‘Cause my- Oh my God. My meal time treat is I’ve… I don’t think diet soda is bad for you. We did the whole podcast. Now, let me tell you, I now enjoy and like diet soda because I gave it a chance. I love that. I don’t have it all the time. Maybe once every two weeks. Well, I used to drink like six cans a day. And even if aspartame and diet soda isn’t like expressly bad for you, and we talked about this with Dr. Mike, check out that podcast, it was great. It can’t be good for you. Sure. And like, just plain sparkling water has to be better in some regard. And so I just decided to stop drinking as much diet soda. But when I sit down to a meal, oh and I got a nice big burrito in front of me and I just want a cold diet coke to go along with it. Yeah. I mean, nothing better than… So I understand that. … and a Sprite. Like I’m not crazy, but I don’t know what it is. I think it’s La Croix slash Pellegrino slash Perrier are the- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sorry. Go ahead. I’m so sorry. They are like, are you’re saying why am I lumping them together? Yeah. I think it’s because La Croix has such a little taste of whatever it is. Like this is guava, sure, but it’s a hint of guava. It’s not like a guava sparkling water. It’s just guava sparkling water, you know. Guava sparkling water. Sanpellegrino, La Croix and Perrier have nothing in common. Oh my God. They have nothing in common. No, but lemme tell you again, listen, I’m a creature of convenience. I’m talking about the places where I eat normally is at work, at home or at my in-laws. Like, you know what I mean? I’m a creature of habit. It’s not like I actually am actively searching out like Spindrifts or actively searching… It’s what’s in front of me and I just take it and I’m okay with it. Okay. But if you had, okay, yesterday I was running late going to work and there’s this little like gym vending machine. And I was like, I just need water on my way to work. And I got a Pellegrino because I will drink sparkling water at the gym, after the gym. I used to drink it- That’s kind of crazy. Like when you get thirsty. I know. Like your body doesn’t crave like just still water? Almost never. My body, I don’t know how to explain this. My body is so post biological craving that everything I- That’s impossible. Everything I do is for fun. Your body can’t be post biological. I am post biological craving. I have beaten it. That sounds really cool and all. That makes you really cool. But I don’t think that’s rooted in any sort of logic or science. I don’t know man. Like if you ever like, you know what people are like, oh, if you crave chocolate, like your body needs magnesium. Yeah, yeah, if like you’re eating dirt, you know. Like your body needs some sort of nutrient, but you don’t subscribe to that. You’re post that. Yeah and I think a lot of people- What a crock of poop. Hear me out. Hear me out. You know those tech bros that are like, I don’t need to eat from enjoyment. All I drink is Soylents and whatever. And I am beyond the need for taste. I’m the flip side opposite of that where I’m like, everything I put in my mouth is purely for fun and recreation. And I’m trying to get- Well that’s hedonism. And I’m trying to get as much protein as possible within that and enough fiber not to die of colorectal cancer. And so those are my goals. Those are goals. So the point is like, no, I don’t have the biological urge to drink still water. You do but you’ve numbed yourself to it. Correct. Okay got it, got it, got it. I’m sure the urge exists deep down somewhere. But then I see like, ooh, a blood orange. You know, what is the . Oh my god. That’s a soda. That’s a soda. That’s a soda. That’s the best soda. Yeah. Ever, right. And so, you know, I just, I think there are better alternatives for water. Point is I got a Sanpellegrino Plain? And with all due respect… Yeah, plain. And I like plain sparkling water a lot. Was it in a bottle? The plastic bottle, yeah. The plastic thin bottles and they’re kind of elegant. I love the Sanpellegrino branding. So elegant. It taste for taste, with all due respect to the Sanpellegrino folks, it’s by far the worst sparkling water from my own personal taste. Oh I love Sanpellegrino. For my own personal taste, it’s too soft. The bubbles are borderline non-existent. And this is- That’s okay, that’s okay. Actually, a very stark difference in a lot of sparkling waters is the, like the effectively the size of the bubbles. Right, the sharpness or the dullness of them. Yeah. There’s different amounts. I remember when I was in Germany, like there was like, there was Vosser, still Vosser, and then medi Vosser. Medi Vosser. Which is like medium bubble sparkling water. If you’re in Germany and someone asks if you wanna see their meaty Vosser, you don’t say yes. But I think you have to emphasize still Vosser when you go to Germany or else they’ll just assume it’s sparkling water. I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s my big adult indulgence. That’s my lifestyle creep, right. I’m never gonna change cars, but I will drink sparkling water at every restaurant. When you go to a restaurant, oh you say still or sparkling? You always say sparkling. I’ve stopped asking the table too. Good. I’ve stopped asking the table. I’m like, Papa’s home, and he’s claiming what’s his. I do that, too. I love ordering sparkling waters at restaurants because who knows? Maybe I’ll find my favorite. I still haven’t found my favorite though. But I never get still water that’s in a bottle. No, no. That’s a huge trap. That’s a huge trap. Tap is fine. Sanpellegrino- Is always fine. It is like markedly, markedly worse than the other ones. I think Perrier does a really good job. I disagree. But I mean, when I say worse, I mean only for my own personal taste. Okay. Because when I use the soda stream, I have the old analog one where like you have to press, not the one where you just press the button and it does it for you. You gotta press it down and you control. You gotta get the water from the well. You’re truly living in 2014. But you gotta like press it hard. And they’re like one bump for a little bit, two for medium, three for hard. I hit it four times, Nicole. Wow. I’m overloading it. It burns like McDonald’s Sprite. Oh that’s nice. Yeah, yeah. That’s nice. So for me, Perrier much better option. But we haven’t talked about what is far in a way the best. Can I say something? Perrier is a little bit more bitter than Sanpellegrino which I don’t enjoy as an accompaniment to my food. I agree. I find that I don’t like it as an accompaniment to food either. You like it on its own? I like it on its own because Perrier to me- The little cans, oh. I don’t like Perrier in a can tastes worse than Perrier in a bottle, Perrier in a glass bottle. I could crush Perrier in a can like Lucas and I, whenever we have Perrier in the office, we would just hold it and look at each like, hey what’s up? Like, it was like a cool kid trick. I think Perrier in a can has a much higher mineral content, which is what you’re tasting the bitterness. That makes sense. And to me, the metal accentuates that. I like it in that context, ’cause I’m cool, ’cause around Lucas, I feel cool. There was some cultural shift. I would say like 2007 is when I remember going to an Angels game and seeing a Coors Light in like an aluminum bottle with a twist off. Do you know what I’m talking about? Yeah I remember aluminum bottles, yeah. They’re like mostly at sports games. Have you ever drank a beer outta one of those? No, because I really didn’t go to sports games until recently and I married my husband. They have ’em at like concerts too. No, no, no. They don’t do that anymore. You know what they do? They have the plastic cups where you put like a little thing on it and then it fills up from the bottom. What? Do you know what I’m talking about, Maggie? We’ve been to a concert before, or show or something together. And they give you a cup and then they fix it onto this little spout. And then from the bottom up it fills it. And then the little spout comes off at the bottom. We drank beers at this concert together that we were all at. Shout out to Depeche Mode for sponsoring the podcast and putting on a kick ass show. You don’t remember that? You literally go- No, they have now these like weird self-serve convenience stores within Staple Center. Maggie, type in… Oh my god. …Beer stadium fill up. I had a point to make. Machine. Shush, shush. Look at this video. What? Watch. This is at Tottenham. This wasn’t at Depeche Mode though. Are you sure? This is literally at the Tottenham Hot Spur. Josh, look, you’ve never had this before? Every single concert venue or show I go to, they do this. Oh my God. You’ve never seen- The beer’s filling up from the the bottom And then you take it and then the little- It doesn’t create a foamy head, I mean it creates the perfect foamy head. That’s perfect, and then the little iPod… Oh my God. Pops off, it comes off. Why is this news to you? I’ve never seen this. I don’t know. Shut up. This is not a new video. Okay well my point was that drinking stuff out of aluminum, like kinda sucks. It tastes bad. The beer, a light beer outta those aluminum bottles tastes terrible to me. Well what about, what’s that? Liquid death. Liquid Death sparkling water is not my jam either. Liquid Death water… I think it’s really intense. …perfectly fine, but Liquid Death sparkling water, they’ve added flavors to it. But to me it’s like very half carbonated and very half flavored in a way that I don’t love. Again, love slamming some Liquid Deaths. I think they did a really awesome thing. I love canned water. The taste of it or? I love Liquid Death in a can. Like just the water. Yeah. I love drinking Tall Boys energy drinks and Tall Boys beer. And I like, there’s a can that looks like that so I feel cool. Do you ever drink it while you’re driving and then you’re always scared of police officers gonna stop you because they’re gonna think you’re drinking a beer? Yes, especially because I emptied it out and put beer in there. That’s a crime. Don’t do that. Sparkling water at restaurants, there’s one brand to me that reigns supreme. That’s Mountain Spring. Aquafina. No, Mountain Valley. Mountain Valley. The green bottle. The Green Bottle. Yeah. It’s called Mountain Valley. Right? I don’t love that one. I like Acqua Panna, I think it is. Acqua Panna. Acqua Panna. It’s a genteel bubble. A genteel French bubble. I think that’s my problem. Acqua Panna reminds me of Badoit. What is Badoit? Oh, she’s never had Badoit. I thought you were a woman of culture. It’s another French brand that, to me, Acqua Panna and Badoit are very similar. Very light bubbles, very high salinity. High mineral content. I like it. I like it. I need to be blasted in the face a little bit. I see, I see. You know what’s the biggest face blaster of all time? Tell me Nicole. Mineragua. Oh my God. You’re right. I was gonna say, okay. Topo Chico? Topo Chico. I don’t love Topo Chico the way everyone else does. Why not? Is it too harsh? Abrasive bubbles and they go away quick. They go away quick? Is it just me? Out of the glass bottle? Yeah. Is that just me? No way, dude. To me it’s like Willy Wonka’s Everlasting bubble stopper in there, man. I don’t love that. I wouldn’t be surprised if Topo Chico and Mineragua are actually made in the same facility. I just like the color of Mineragua more. And by color I mean like the bottle it comes in and it’s just like this weird like psychological problem I have. I don’t love Topo Chico that much. Yeah, if y’all don’t know what Mineragua is, it is the Haritos brand, which like the greatest sodas in existence. In my house, dude in my house, it is Mineraguas and Bubbly’s, but mostly Mineragua. Oh, a good Pina, a good pina soda. Haritos? Haritos with tacos, oh my god. Well yeah but like, I don’t have that at my house. No, me neither, yeah. The guests will always be offered a Mineragua at my house. Wait, I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mineragua is… Oh so Tobo Chico and Mineragua are to me the two harshest bubbles in the game, which is what I’m looking for from my own personal taste in sparkling water. Right, the difference to me is that Mineragua is almost a purely neutral flavor profile. Which is good for eating. Good to eat food with. It is like literally, it’s like you’ve added violence to water. Just pure violent sensation. That’s so funny. And there is no actual taste. Whereas Topo Chico, I think you get a little bit of minerality. Sure. A little bit of that salinity, which I think really goes well, especially when you get the Topo Chico with lime. But then Mineragua comes in and is just like- There’s nothing like it. You ever start listening to a song that is just almost purely silent with some ominous tones for like 20 seconds and then followed by just like the heaviest guitar riff you’ve ever heard. I know a song like that. Well, it’s actually, it’s like, so Mineragua is like, “Stairway to Heaven.” Interesting. It’s like nice. It’s like nice. It’s beautiful. And then it’s this big crescendo when you tip the bottle. Yeah. That’s how I feel. And I think it’s beautiful. I want my sparkling water to crescendo. I want to be titillated the whole time. I want Mineragua to titillate me. You know, and it does. Sounds illegal. Yes, I don’t know. I guess I just love Mineragua and I think that might be my answer. I know it’s a bit early to say that, but… I don’t know that I am not off the Topo Chico train specifically because of the branding. That’s another thing that we have to- You like the branding of Topo Chico? We have to get into is the actual branding of it, because La Croix, nobody would’ve cared about La Croix if it had not been on the cusp of that like 90s nostalgia. It’s got, what do they call it? A font. It’s the font, but it’s also like the jazz cup. The jazz cup. It’s very jazz cuppy, yes. That jazz cup design with like, its very 80s office culture. It’s like norm core ironic. And I don’t think La Croix would’ve taken off if not for that. Sure, sure. Is it La Croix or is it La Croix? It’s La Croix. Okay. It’s, I believe a city in Wisconsin. And there’s a ton of weird French names. In Wisconsin. In Wisconsin. Wisconsin. Wisconsin. Wisconsin, so but they’ve officially come out and said it’s La Croix. Cool. But is the show Emily in Paris or Emily in Paris? I’ve never seen it. You’ve never seen Emily in Paris? No. Lily Collins like a freaking gem. I’ve heard. How charming. It’s not for me. Are you sure? I think it would be for you. She like falls for, no spoillies, falls for like a chef. I’m not interested. And he’s like oh I learned to make French cuisine for my family. Can I tell you something? Everybody falls in love with the chef and then they get their heart broken or something. They got cancer or something happens. I don’t want it. I don’t need it. I’m not interested. Don’t talk bad about that Zoe Saldana show on Netflix where the chef gets cancer. That was nice. That was actually really sweet. It was really beautiful. Yeah, I love me some Zoe Saldana. Okay, branding and other sparkling waters that would maybe turn you off Waterloo. It makes me feel like I’m at Knots berry Farm. Yeah, freaks me out. The Waterloo branding freaks me out. Yeah, yeah. I dunno how I can do it. Spindrift? It reminds me of like, you’re at like a weird card shop. Like a weird bespoke card. Not Hallmark, but like, not Hallmark, not paperless, whatever it is. Nope. Paper Source, it’s not Paper Source. It’s almost got a little bit of like I’m at the TJ Max checkout line. Oh, I disagree. Where there’s the weird food products. Oh no, I just- I feel like I could see a Spindrift sitting there. It gives me the , homemade bespoke card maker. Oh, interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of minimalist. Too minimalist, yeah. Do you think if Spindrift had different branding that you would enjoy it? No. Do you think it actively takes away from your enjoyment of Spindrift? Yeah. Because that’s something that I think about a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spindrift, we love you. Let us design your new cans. I’m not good at drawing. I don’t think it’s bad. I don’t think it’s bad design. I like the kind of, you know, minimalist aspect of it, especially because it’s a product that, it’s just, it’s lemon juice, it’s sparkling water. It’s great. Oh my God, Polar. The little polar bear that’s like cold. Polars? Polars. That polar seltzers old school. I need to look at it. Hold on. Polar has sweetener in it though, I believe. Not all of it. Not all of it. I think it’s so cute. But I’ve had sweetened Polar. I like Polars packaging. Too old school. That’s the seltzer of my grandfather. I’m not drinking it. Schweppes is the seltzer of your grandfather. Canada Dry. I literally didn’t even put Schweppes. I drank a plain Schweppes soda water the other day because it was like all I had and we bought it for cocktail mixers. Because that’s the only reason you would use Schweppes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For whatever reason. Same, same, same. But yeah, you’re correct. That’s the Polar is like the seltzer of your Gen X uncle. You know what I mean? But I feel like it’s more East coast. I don’t see a lot- It’s definitely East coast. I don’t see a lot of Polar here. No, no, no, no, no. What else is there? Bubbly. So we actually- Oh really? We just switched over from La Croix to Bubbly in our household. Why? I don’t know. David just wanted the shift. I said, okay, whatever you want, babe. I’m not gonna ask too many questions. And it’s good. I think it’s ’cause they’re on sale a lot. Oh, that adds up. Bubbly, is it Tar- Bubbly’s a Coca-Cola product, right? Let me see, I don’t know. There’s another one. Another new one hit the market is called… Maggie, did you just spell Bubble like Michael Buble? Oops. PepsiCo. Oh, it’s PepsiCo and then- I’ve seen the commercials. There’s a new product from Coke, I believe called Aha, have you ever- I’ve never tasted it. Have you had Aha? Uh-uh. Uh-uh, uh-uh. They have a caffeinated version, which is bad. But they also did a Cherry Cola scented seltzer, which is horrifying. I actually really like cherry scented sparkling waters. Interesting. They like kind of make me feel like I’m drinking a soda a little bit. Just a little. But there’s so many out there and so many of them to me are the same. Right, Bubbly is the same as Aha is roughly the same as Waterloo is probably the same as La Croix, except La Croix has to me more brand sweat equity built up, so I’m gonna drink that. To me where you really get into the fun stuff, Spindrift makes an incredible product. I understand why you wouldn’t like it. Sure. A little bit of raspberry juice, a little bit of lime. Lot of sparkling water. Raspberry juice though. Dude it’s thew new… Have you had this? The strawberry lemonade is so good because it’s not artificial strawberry flavor. It’s a little bit of strawberry juice. No. It’s good. It tastes like natural and healthy and like something you would, it’s like a spa water. It tastes healthy? Yeah, it does. It’s just juice and water, man. That’s ED coated. What? I’m just kidding. I want a little bit of juice. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a little bit of juice in your sparkling water. I just can’t wrap my head around it and I don’t enjoy it. And I’m entitled to my wrong opinion. As much as you support women’s rights, I also need you to support women’s wrongs, Josh. I hereby support all women’s rights wrongs and in-betweens except for like the ones who do crimes. Well, the bad crimes. Women who do good crimes, I’m in support of. Me too. Jaywalking. Keep it up. Jaywalking to save a baby from a bus. Don’t ever stop doing that. Don’t stop doing that women. Drink more Mineragua is what we’re saying. Yeah. Not to say you have to buy stocks in Mineragua. I might, but Mineragua is the winner in my thing. We’re shorting Waterloo. Woo, let’s do it. What’s the best sparkling water? The Sporked Crew says they have the answer. Check out their ranking of the best sparkling waters on the market, flavored or not. Nicole, how well do you think you know me? Pretty well. It’s been like what, four years, 11 months, six days, 14 hours. Okay then what’s my favorite comfort food? I would say burritos. You’re a big burrito Cali burrito guy. Nah, missed it. Peanut butter, honey and banana sandwich Oh man, that’s right. It is my absolute favorite meal, especially when you know you’re feeling a little cloudy in the head and you’re like, I need a food. Oh, I need a food to set me right. I love peanut butter, honey and banana sandwiches. Me too. But you know, if I’m doing it after a workout or something, you’re getting the carbs from the honey and the banana and the bread and there’s not a lot of protein in that. Sure. Which is why Nicole, I got a new crush out here. Oh my gosh. What’s her name? Oh her name is Hero. Last name Bread. Oh my God, Hero Bread. I’ve been eating so much Hero Bread and I’m making a lot of peanut butter, honey and banana sandwiches on it because the bread’s got a whole lot of fiber in it. It’s got a whole lot of protein in it. So I’m getting my nutrition goals, especially post-workout. And then I can eat my favorite peanut butter, honey, banana sandwich on it without any sort of compromises. Yeah, I love their flour tortillas. Aside from the fact that it’s zero net carbs, zero grams sugar, and fewer calories than a regular tortilla, it just tastes really, really good. I mean, I just make a grilled cheese on it with a little bit of like a aioli, a little bit of a Chipotle aioli, and it’s perfect. I don’t wanna sound too infomercially here, and this is not hyperbole though. It’s like it’s a miracle product. The bread is so much better than any other bread that has made similar claims in the past. Right, the tortillas, they’re not like the cardboardy tortillas that you get. They’re like green free from elsewhere. But there’s so much fiber in it. There’s a whole lot of protein in it. And I think we could all use a lot more fiber and protein in our diets. And they offer monthly small batch drops of indulgent favorites like the two gram net carb Hero croissant or the one gram net carb Hero cheddar biscuit. They’ve got something for every craving, including sliced bread loaves, buns, and tortillas. Yeah, don’t give up on being a bread head. No one likes a quitter hero. Hero Bread’s offering 10% off your orders. So go to hero.co and use code sandwich at checkout. That’s sandwich at H-E-R-O.C-O. This show is sponsored by Better Help. Nicole, how’s your social battery been doing lately? It’s okay. You know, I recently, this week I’ve been to about three events that I was considering. I was like teetering, do I wanna go? Do I not wanna go? And I ended up saying yes to all of them. I’ve been doing that thing. You know when your garage clicker battery starts getting low, and you’re clicking and you’re clicking harder and sometimes the light lights up, but you can tell it’s not all there? Yeah, of course. I’ve been like rocking in that mode for a while, but the cool thing is it doesn’t always have to be that way. And using tools like therapy, it can help you figure out a way to be more self-aware about that social battery. Yeah. I think it’s about finding out what the right amount of socializing is for you in particular. You know, finding that see-saw, finding that balance and then what you do to recharge after being in those situations that you didn’t necessarily wanna be in. Yeah. And it’s all about having the tools to actually deal with that, right? So if you’re thinking of starting therapy, give Better Help a try. It’s entirely online designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Find your social sweet spot with Better Help. Visit betterhelp.com/hotdog today to get 10% off your first month. That’s Better Help, H-E-L-P.com/hotdog. Alright, Nicole, you’ve heard what you and I have to say. Well now it’s time to find out what other wackies are rallying out there in the universe. It’s time for a segment we call… Opinions are like casseroles. I used to remember I used to sing them. I don’t do that anymore. I miss your singing. Can you Come on. Come on, Nicole. What do you want? Give me a song for the old times. Okay. What do you want? What do you want me to sing? “Purple Rain.” ♪ I never meant to cause you any trouble. ♪ I never meant to cause you any pain. ♪ That’s it. All right. Well that was pretty good actually. I was kind of feeling where those vibes were going. ♪ Purple rain ♪ ♪ Purple rain ♪ That’s it. Okay. I’m done. You got another couple bars for us? I’m good. All right, let’s get to that first sound. Hi Josh and Nicole. This is not food related. I mean I guess it kind of is, but I’m playing Fortnite right now, and the glizzy skin just reminds me of Josh. Oh, let me see it. I wonder why. Maybe Trevor will appreciate this. That’s it. Have a great day. Love you both. Love you. This is great. I’ve never played a Fortnite. It’s definitely modeled after you. The glizzy skin, it is. Okay, so this is an anthropomorphized hotdog. It’s wearing jeans. It’s got a lot of swag. The body of this anthropomorphic hotdog is covered in mustard, but it’s also wearing an open short sleeve button down shirt, it appears. But it is modeled after relish. And a pooka shell hot dog necklace. Which I do love that combination. I need to get some more pooks though. Emily might actually be making me some pooks, which is cool. A pooka is also a meth pipe. Not that, a pooky, not that. Is Is that what pooky is? Pooky? Have you seen Pooky on TikTok? Yeah, I don’t like them. I love… What? I don’t like that couple. They freak me out. Me and Pooky are in Venice. She looking beautiful as ever. Now Pooky is both a pet name and also a meth pipe. And I know that because once I was out by the train tracks in Burbank, just hanging out sometimes I used to like sneak cigarettes out there sometimes. I don’t smoke anymore. Don’t smoke, it’s bad. But then somebody came up to me and just went- You got a Pooky? “Hey got any,” and they said the S-H-I-T word. And I said, oh no, you have me confused for somebody. And then they just go, I got a Pooky. And I went, that’s great. I have no idea what that means. Cute. And I Urban dictionary it, backwards hat, snapback sunglasses, pooka shells, open shirt, got a lot of swag. This glizzy skin is modeled after me. I will be suing Fortnite. You know. Oh, I really like how swag and rizz can just be used interchangeably. No, but you don’t swag somebody up and you do- You have swag if you can rizz somebody up. Correct. I’ve actually found myself using the term rizz unironically and I back myself into a corner because if somebody were to like, oh my God, you sure rizzed her up. Like what is another way to say that even? You really charmed her. That sounds old timey. That sounds like you’re wearing a news boy cap. I’m an old timey girl. He really charmed her. That’s too like self serious. You know? Rizzing somebody up is almost a combination of charming and swag, right, ’cause there’s- Is she down? Is she down? It’s almost putting the onus all on the woman. And you know what, that’s a problem Actually, no I agree with that. I agree with that. Why are they putting the onus on? It’s only an active verb on a man. He rizzed her up. Yeah. Get outta here, for shame. But like she could have rizzed him up. She could have rizzed her up. Okay. . No, how often do you hear, “She rizzed him up,” or, “She rizzed her up?” Never. Or, “He rizzed him up.” Interesting. Rizz doesn’t even include the LGBTQ plus community and that’s a problem. That’s true. Heteronormative patriarchy is involved in the term rizz. I denounce it. No more rizzing. We are all merely… I called… Was it you that I called a woman handsome yesterday? Or no, it was Vi, I called a woman handsome. I think that’s like a… I think they’re like… I tend to be very attracted to handsome women, right. Much different than like a hot chick. Right, like no, that’s like a very handsome… Hillary Swank. Very handsome woman. I think you’re equating masculine features with handsomeness. Is it? Are you? I don’t know. I don’t think so. There’s like a certain amount of like buttoned upness to a handsome woman. Okay. You know, I don’t know. Anyways, what are we talking about? I like handsome people and hot people. Yeah. I’m a handsome guy. I like both. Time and place. Hi Nicole and Josh. Nicole, I know you’re not much of a meal prep girly but Josh, I was wondering ’cause I know you are a meal prep girly, what do you suggest to make meal prep not so miserable by the time you get to day four, day five of eating the same thing that has been sitting in the fridge for a long time? This is Rachel Fruit from New York. Love the show. Thank you guys. Bye. Great question. You gotta switch up, you gotta switch up the coutre mon, right? Yeah. So say you’re doing like a chicken and rice and say you’re doing like, I don’t know, let’s say adobo or something the first day, soy sauce, garlic- Let’s just do Chipotle, ’cause I feel like not everybody makes adobo at home. What do you mean Chipotle? Like people make Chipotle rub chicken more so than adobo. Sure, sure, sure. Say you have like a Chipotle rubbed chicken, whatever that you’re eating with like rice and zucchini or something and you’re eating that. And then when you get to day three or four, then it’s like alright we have almost like a supplemental meal prep pack that you’re waiting to deploy on day three, which is like a corn salsa or like an herbie sauce, and then maybe you’re sauteing that chicken with the rice. Maybe you’re cracking an egg in there. If you’re just microwaving it in the meal prep tins, that’s a different story. Maybe you have some scallions, maybe you have some egg. But there’s always a way, and I found this out organically because I would get to day four of meal prep and I don’t meal prep religiously at all. But I would get to day four and I’d be like, this sucks. I just need to change this up. I mean I used to meal prep here and there too. By day four you’re like you wanna vomit. So like a great example you have Chipotle chicken with say zucchini and rice. You get to day four, have a jar of kimchi in the fridge, crack an egg into a pan, mash that up. You have chicken, kimchi, fried rice. Really? So I feel like a good way to do it is like incorporating some cooked veg and some raw veg. So it’s not as monotonous, ’cause sometimes like cooked zucchini or like cooked cabbage can get a little bit meh, gross four days later, you know. But something like a prepackaged salad- Sulfuric volatiles. Sure, whatever. Ariel Johnson, man. She’s changed the face of our podcast. So cute. But like whatever, like sometimes those vegetables that are cooked like broccoli in the fridge after three days, it stinks. It really does smell. So I think just switching up, I agree with you saying switching up, but maybe like in sometimes you have cooked veggies, sometimes you have a salad, sometimes you have, I don’t know, something else just to cut through it. So your proteins are the same because protein, when it marinates and is just sitting there over time I feel like it tastes better. Yeah. A lot of the time. Yeah. Glutamates are forming. Yeah, yeah. Also especially like whenever like meal prepping, like taking a large hunk of meat and cooking it and brazing it for a long time, shredding it up is also better than like a chicken breast that you cook. I feel like it has more resilience. It has more resilience and it’s like tougher to… It’s easier to like heat up and warm up. Yeah, you’ve already cooked it to death. There’s not, it doesn’t get dry. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. So I think maybe changing the meats that you’re using something a little bit larger that can take a longer braise that won’t like get dried out and gross. And then changing your veggies out to sometimes cooked veggies. Sometimes a salad might really change it up. Yeah. But either way you need to plan for it. You need to have that day two, day three, day four deployments ready. You know, and when all else fails, hot sauce. Yeah. Pickles. I just don’t like meal prepping. Yeah. Meal prepping kind of sucks man. I’m kind of over it. I think for me it’s just the fun. Like I go home and like, I dunno, it feels good to cook a meal from scratch that takes 30, 35 minutes. Yeah. I enjoy that in my life. Now that I’ve stopped doing two a day workouts and I have my nights mostly free meal prepping is out, spending two hours to make chicken cordon blue from scratch and eating at 9PM, that’s in baby. I don’t like eating at night. Not worth it. Chicken cordon blue. Not worth it. If you had a hankering saying hey maybe I should make chicken cordon blue tonight, don’t do it. Don’t do it. Just go get it. Don’t it. Make a chicken cutlet and put a slice of ham and cheese on it. It’s just better than chicken cordon blue prep. Hi this is Emma. I’m a middle school teacher in Washington and my opinion is that Cheez-Its are properly rated in their use as a simple snack food for lunching on. But they are highly underrated in their versatility. I have made Cheez-It nachos. I have used Cheez-Its as dip crackers. I have used Cheez-Its to bread chicken strips. The extra big Cheez-Its especially great for dipping and people sleep on it all the time. Okay, thanks. Love the podcast. Bye. Thank you for your service. I love Cheez-Its Same. I thought they were gonna end their opinion with Cheez-Its are properly rated. And I was kind of thinking like, yeah they are. You know, they’ve had their success. They’ve been given their plot. It’s very appropriately. Cheez-Its are fantastic. I like Cheez-Its a lot. We talked about Cheez-Its versus Goldfish with Trevor, right? Yeah, we did. Cheez-Its all the way baby. 100%. It’s such a unique cheesy flavor, which I think where they’re coming at in terms of using Cheez-Its in culinary application, I think a thing you gotta ask yourself anytime you’re cooking with something is like, is this a proprietary flavor? I feel like Mark Cuban right now. Is this proprietary, but like, is it a flavor that you can’t get from anything else? And Cheez-Its to me have a very unique flavor in the sense that it’s that toasted oxidized cheese flavor that you get from like a cheddar crisp. So good. I don’t know. I love it. I just love… I would eat a Cheez-it right now. Do you have any? We probably have the… Surely there’s a Cheez-It in this office and we can find it. Go get it. But a great thing, Caesar salad crushed. I love like more the crushed bread crummy style of crouton in a salad. Right. I don’t. You like big hunking croutons? I love a big hunking, fresh crouton. I want just like crispy breadcrumbs enveloping my lettuce. That’s how I make my Caesar’s. I used to be like you. And then there’s… You say yourself, you love the flavor of a fried thing dumped in sauce. Oh, I feel you. Yeah, I know what you’re… Yeah. A properly saturated crouton, nothing like it. I feel like Caesar dressing is too thick if it’s proper to saturate. Disagree. Anywho, crush up some Cheez-Its, use that in a Caesar salad. You get almost like that Parmesan crisp flavor from the oxidization of that cheese. Yeah, you know what I love about us? We can disagree but still have a good relationship. Yeah, no, while the cameras are rolling we can have a good relationship. Like me and you just don’t see eye to eye on like certain things and that’s so okay. And we’re still friends. It’s beautiful. I think it’s so necessary. The world needs to be more like you and I. The political is that which divides friend and enemy, Carl Schmidt. ♪ Is love sweet love ♪ In his book on the concept of the political, he explains why assassins will ultimately fall short. A hired hand when they’re only fighting for money, Nicole and that money drives up what is known a political bond that actually unites us. What are we talking about? What’s to talk about? Hey, Josh, Nicole, Maggie, the rest of the unsung crew of the podcast. Hey, so I dunno if this is controversial, but definitely something unique. So my parents have always made homemade flour tortillas totally from scratch. Absolutely delicious. No tortilla press. So they’re a little bit thicker, a little bit fluffier. But a snack that I’ve done intermittently since I was a kid is dipping that tortilla in a little bit of ketchup or dipping the tortilla in gravy. Not necessarily gravy, but just gravy. Again, I dunno if this is controversial, but hey, embrace your inner fat kid, right? I would say my inner fat kid, it’s like my guiding light. Like in like, “The Golden Compass,” right? Every child has like a demon. Never read it. Like an animal that’s like guiding them. That’s me. Is it a book? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never read it. Good book. Anyways, I’m very curious where they’re from and what their background is. I don’t know. But I’ve been there and I’ve done that with like a Mission tortilla. It’s so good. But also I used to make like little ketchup pizzas, you know what I mean? With like Mission tortillas, so. I think that damn near any bread product can just be dipped in ketchup or dipped in ranch and it’s going to be a fun time. I used to so just dip white bread in ketchup and so- I never did that, but the tortillas in ketchup make total sense. Especially a homemade tortilla. Homemade tortilla and gravy, certainly. Right, that’s just a good little gravy sauce right there. Sounds so good. It’s ridiculous. I’m 100% down. I don’t know if it’s controversial or not. I think it sounds lovely. I thought they were gonna say cinnamon butter. Like cinnamon butter sugar or just butter and sugar in a tortilla. I love that. So that’s a fun time as well. Do you think I’m just hungry right now, which is why I want Cheez-Its? Yeah, probably. So hungry. I had two eggs though for breakfast. That’s like nothing. It’s 120 calories and 12 grams of protein. I’m gonna go get it. I had two whole breakfast sandwiches. Breakfast. Breakfast. Breakfast sandwiches. Breakfast… All right, we got time for one more? Yeah, also it’s Maggie. Come on, Maggie. Hey Josh and Nicole. It’s Maya. My controversial food take is that the best snack I have ever had is hot Takis wavy dipped in a really creamy brie cheese. Oh yes. Something about that combo with the heat and the potato chip and the cheese is just, unbelievable. Found it by accident while on a picnic, ’cause we happen to have hot Takis Lays. It’s a tough thing to say. Three cheese. Their friend is laughing. Also Josh, one be one mean it and Rocket League scrub, I bet you won’t. Bye. Did they put their handle in? DM your gamer tag, I’ll one v one you. One, one v one is a vulgar form of Rocket League. I know. Three v three I know is standard. That’s the way to do it. Too crowded. No, no, no. Two on two, that is the game of kings. It’s the only thing I play anymore. You out there playing Rocket League? So I like watch… I grew up watching men play video games and I was just their friend on the side just watching. And that’s followed me into my 30s with my husband. And he’s like, I wanna teach you how to play. And I said, no, no, I just wanna watch. I try to teach Julia how to play, but for real, DM me your gamer tag. I don’t have any of the headsets that you can talk to people on, but you can hit me with all the what a saves that you want in the chat. I love watching Rocket League. I don’t know if you… Do you think they’re good? I don’t know, maybe. My rank has been precipitously dropping. Bet you won’t. I love that she said that. Josh loves a challenge. One on one, I’m okay. I’m pretty good at like converting defense to offense, you know, doing a little like running gun. What color is your car? Do you pick it? Well, so it’s either blue or orange, depending on what team you are. But I forgot the scale, the bills that I have. I bet you if they did skims, like how skins… Skins? They do that. They do custom ones. Imagine that they were wearing like skims. Those are sexy. They would make money like you could buy skins. Yeah, no, they thought of that too. Did Did they do that on there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, they do that. Oh yeah. Great. I’ve never had talkies waves. Why are you laughing at me? It’s just funny. But it’s not funny. It’s funny to me. It’s a real question. It’s funny to me. I’ve never had Takis waves. It’d be like going to a hamburger restaurant and being like, man, if they sold fries and you’re like, oh no, they got those too. And you’re like, oh, shoot. I thought I- I’ve never wanted to like hit you, but I just wanna like give, you know, like, stop. You’re being silly. You have permission to hit me if you want. Ow, what the fudge? You’ve never had Takis Waves? I would absolutely love to try them right now though. I want ’em I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. Order it. I have a pretty unique problem with them though. They’re a potato chip. They’re a wavy potato chip with presumably the Taki’s powder dust all over ’em. I don’t think the potato flavor and texture goes as well with spice as corn. But these waves look like deep waves. Like, remember those chips that we like that were the deep wave ones? Well, this is the product image rendering on the bag. We need to find out what they actually look like. Okay well why don’t you do your part? Weird freaking triangle. As a journalist and look at the picture of it. That said, any sort of Takis with brie? No these are deep ridges. Where are you seeing? Oh my god. Yeah, these are- Oh my god. You ever see those pictures? It’s like world’s largest slug and it’s on somebody’s hand. Yeah . I just looked up a picture of what these freaking chips look like and it is unbelievable. I wanna try all of these. Wow. You know what I wanna do? I wanna do the blue one and the red one, and I want to eat them at the same time. Oh my God. Make a purple Taki chip. Yeah, Taki powder, it is the farthest you can push flavor without physically deteriorating people’s bodies, minds and souls. Ooh, they have a- You cannot get more flavorful than a Taki Nitro. They have a flavor called dragon sweet chili, Takis waves dragons. That’s all I want. Josh. I wanna buy it. You take that with just that little bit of funky brie, that triple creme with all that fat, all that fat and all that funk combining with all that spice and all that acid that is the most flavor that if a 19th century like factory worker ate this combination of foods, their head would simply explode. They could not comprehend it. Nicole? I found the dragon Takis waves, but it’s one bag and it’s $15. Get it. We can’t afford not to. $15 for one bag of chips. Yeah, write it off your taxes. You’re gonna let me do it. Okay, Maggie? Yeah, sure. Why not? Okay. Yay. Okay. This is so exciting. Can I buy the other ones too so I can- Yeah, how much money do we spend on this podcast? We spend like no money. It’s great. Okay, great. Yeah. I love brie cheese and I love Takis and I’m sure I would love this combination of flavors and I’m gonna eat these and let you know how it goes. Yeah, that rules man. Yeah. That’s a fun time. Great opinions. Yeah. Are we done with the podcast now? We should get some food in you, buddy. I’m so hungry. Yeah, we gotta get some cheese to send you stat. Well, on that note, thank you for listening to, “A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.” I gotta pee. I drank three La Croix’s throughout this whole thing. You did, you did. I’m done. I’m done. Thirsty boy. We got new audio only episodes every Wednesday, video version out on YouTube on Sunday. You know the deal. Yeah, if you wanna be featured on Opinions at Casseroles, give us a call at DOG-POD1. The number again is DOG-POD1 We also do- Message. Oh I stepped on you, no. No, I was kind of ad libbing. I was ad libbing. So you were doing like Carnatic singing. You ever watch Carnatic music videos? It’s like a violinist paired with a singer. No. And they’re like, it’s all, it’s improvisational and there’s standards of course, much like jazz, but oh my god, it’s beautiful. So like, it’s like a jam band? Like a little bit, but also you gotta be like really in sync with each other, you know? Okay. It’s beautiful. What do you think I’m thinking of? One, two, three. Jesus. Tomato seeds. Tomato seeds? Oh, you idiot. See y’all next time.