ramble before you get into today’s episode it’s me trevor everetts the host of the podcast trevor talks too much here to tell you about a very special episode we have uh it’s gonna be all me solo not only will i be talking too much by my darn self but i’ll be giving you all a closer look into my mind the window into the inner workings of the mythical swag lord uh so i’ll be talking a bit more about me this particular episode is all about some of the struggles i’ve had coming out of the pandemic social anxiety and how some of these new connections have me kind of looking deeper into my inner self and doing some reflection so don’t forget to be on the lookout for this episode next week by subscribing to trevor talks too much on apple spotify or wherever you get your podcast [Music] crispy melty crunchy stretchy you can make it from a rustic country loaf over an open flame or toss some wonder bread and craft singles and a hot iron the grilled cheese can be many things but where’s the line when it ceases to be that simple classic and become something more when does a grilled cheese become a melt this is a hot dog as a sandwich ketchup is a smoothie yeah i put ice in my cereal so what that makes no sense hot dog is a sandwich a hot dog is a sandwich welcome to our podcast a hot dog is a sandwich the show where we break down the world’s biggest food debates i’m your host josh shearer and i’m your host nicole hindi zadeh and today we are discussing at what moment does a grilled cheese become a melt so this needs a little bit of prefacing because it’s probably a question that a lot of people haven’t thought of right they’ve gone through their whole lives just eating melted cheese in between toasted bread and they haven’t actually thought about what they are eating i think they know they’re eating a grilled cheese i think they think they know they’re eating a grilled cheese but there is one redditor this is a very famous reddit post louis black comedian a favorite of ours he’s an old jewish man who yells so i’m lois black and i’m eating a grilled cheese sandwich i’m mad about grilled jello as a little bit gilbert godfrey it reminds us of like old jewish uncles that we probably both have those he did a very good dramatic reading of this reddit post when it’s super viral so i’m gonna read a little excerpt from it a grilled cheese consists of only these following items cheese bread and spread usually butter this entire subreddit referring to the grilled cheese subreddit consists of melts let me start out by saying i have nothing against melts i just hate their association with sandwiches that are not grilled cheeses adding cheese to your tuna sandwich it’s a tuna melt totally different want to add bacon and some pretentious breadcrumbs with spinach i don’t know what the hell you’d call that but it’s not a grilled cheese want to personalize your grilled cheese use a mix of different cheeses or use sourdough or french bread as a bland white midwestern male i am honestly the most passionate person when it comes to grilled cheese and mac and cheese all of you foodies stay the hell away from our grilled cheeses stop associating your sandwich melts with them that is a i when i initially read this i read this simply as a person complaining that people are adding too many things to grilled cheeses thus becoming middleton now especially with the political climate this is a strict identitarian political stance yeah i feel like i didn’t realize he brought his race and class into this yeah i don’t think there needs to be racing class put into this you know to me this is a strict food i think yeah this is strict food debate you know it’s just what is a grilled cheese what is a melt so i think a melt is dependent on the type of meat if it’s you know a slice of turkey you know some ham bacon bits these are accent meats i think we should talk about what accent meats are as well and how they do not transform a sacred grilled cheese into a melt what okay let’s let’s go to your point about accent meats what do you consider an accent meat because i’ve used the term conda meat to refer to a meat condiment before panda meat what a lovely concept webster’s dictionary please condominy does sound incredibly gross yeah i feel it sounds like a uh like a meat puree it smells like a pate it sounds like a pate it also sounds like a pro anyways no i just heard condom and meat in the same sentence and i was like wrong grocery store aisle josh you’re thinking of the wrong grocery store anyways you can also grab sliced bread there which is is anything you can find in a deli counter okay so you know you got your t like i said turkey ham roast beef i think also the quantity matters too but mostly i don’t care about the quantities it’s the meat that’s going inside if i put bacon in a grilled cheese it is not a bacon melt i agree with that like you and i are on the same page okay turkey you know if i put maybe like 14 slices of turkey with cheese maybe but if it’s just like one turkey slice it does not constitute a melt for me i i think i agree with you on that but where we differ in this is that i think the idea of a condom meat or an accent meat like a protein that isn’t the star of the show right yeah yeah that is too nebulous of a concept because like you said sliced turkey turkey to me can be either a condiment or a main protein meat i think this needs to come down to weights and measures i think this is a strict scientific observable principle that once something gets to 82 percent or above non cheese and bread weight where’d you come up with 82 jobs 82 it’s intuitive you know you just think about uh a grilled cheese because obviously i think you need to be able to add things like bacon prosciutto things like an accent sure especially if you think of certain cheeses that have other ingredients mixed into them you’re telling me you put pepper jack in a grilled cheese it’s no longer a grilled cheese because there’s specks of pepper in it well according to the lewis black uh dramatic reading it is it’s still considered a grilled cheese if there’s different types of cheese in there okay but if you’re adding like say there’s cheese that has like bacon studded throughout it right yeah sure there’s like pesto cheese you can get from traders exactly that’s not a good example yeah i mean i think it depends on the intention of the chef or the the five-year-old but according to this mad person’s logic if you took say cheddar cheese and a little bit of pesto he’d be mad that you foodies are coming for his grilled cheese he said spread but i think he means spread to griddle it because he even like said he even kind of craps on your pretentious breadcrumbs and spinach and stuff like that i guess that’d be a main thing but i feel like if you added pesto because he says if you want to experiment use different cheeses use different breads he also says i think pesto could be could be in that sentence but maybe that’s just because i’m just pretending i’m i’m taking you’re a living constitutionalist when it comes to this document here i think so what is that’s crazy never been called living constitutional is the people who think that the constitution’s like a living document that’s constantly like being re-sort of updated i believe in that 100 no no strict originalists no quartering soldiers i don’t know what search and seizures are but i want none of them i don’t think the prohibition ever should have been repealed i think alcohol is a sin actually this is my first leg let’s start boot like i am the biggest office curmudgeon when it comes to office birthday parties oh my gosh you’re such a negative nancy negative nancy on my 26th birthday here which was my first birthday that i celebrated with mythical a couple years ago um caitlyn who was running office management at the time asked me what i wanted for my birthday and most people would be like oh i want cupcakes and red wine because that’s what i like to drink and i said i wanted welch’s grape juice and i wanted no food and i wanted a sign that said alcohol is sin and caitlyn made it and so everyone showed up and we all had wine glasses full of welch’s grape juice and i told everybody that alcohol is sin shut up for knowing this listen i drink a lot like very often it’s it’s utterly joked how did everyone feel i wasn’t here on your 26th birthday you don’t care i i didn’t take a poll of people’s thoughts afterwards people seemed happy oh okay i i just say i hate having like one drink in the office it’s like 4 p.m i still have work to do and it’s like oh let’s drink a lukewarm miller high life do you remember one time there was a moon balance at work yeah okay i drink straight like seven negroni’s and i had to take it yeah i was gonna say we walked out that was during the was that the pig no it was just like a summer party for smosh and mythical yeah it was the smosh mythical mixer and they’re like you know had actual bartenders outside making real drinks but you know nicole and i work at a kitchen so we’re like there’s gonna be a line for the drinks let’s make our own and so we walk out with like pint deli cups filled with negroni oh my gosh a very stiff cocktail very very sick but my theory is if you have a big gulp of a strong cocktail you don’t need to drink anything for the rest of the day like you just walk around with that and nurse it the entire party uh all i remember is taking a nap in the moon bounce yeah i ended up at like a weird punk show like i saw the last living ramone that night oh that’s cool that’s actually really cool but let’s talk about grilled cheese let’s talk about the grilled cheese i kept trying to lift a guy up and i dislocated my shoulder i was in a mosh pit with a bunch of latino teens and old white guys oh my gosh is that why you have tendinitis in your elbow probably i was martian hard dude i’m so sorry anyways the point being i think we need to take a strict scientific definition okay and it all has to do with weight okay so i turkey is a good example that you brought up right because i feel that if you put one slice of turkey in a grilled cheese to me that’s still a turkey grilled cheese sure but if you put 15 slices of turkey in there no that’s a turkey sandwich with hot cheese on it 100 and so for me there just has to be a strict weight definition so once that turkey eclipses 18 total sandwich weight uh-huh and this these are things that if you’re making this at home you want to know say what you’re eating you need to break out the baking scale i was going to tell you every american has a constitutional right to a kitchen scale agreed that is actually a thing everyone should have a kitchen scale i think it’s very important for people but i think adapting that if you get pulled over and you have a kitchen scale in your trunk can’t you be charged with to distribute that like that happened to a friend who was in in culinary school he was in uh pastry school and he had like a you know down to the half gram i have those two scale yeah and the cop searched his car and he had that and they were like you’re selling marijuana and he was like no i’m making croissant you also can’t put your knife kit in your front seat yeah you need to put it in the back this happened to me before really yeah i got pulled over with my knife kid in the front and they were like what is that what’s in there and i’m like uh knives i’m a chef but yeah it’s i do think scales are very important though and i think uh americans and just people in general should adapt using them more uh significantly yeah like all formal recipe writing like should be done and we don’t do any of this we’re just like yeah put a corner i kind of do we try don’t discredit yourself like no i we write good recipes that work but i’m saying like if you want to be accurate like measuring flour is impossible because it can be packed it can be rounded on the scoop there’s so many different methods of measure flour but how are you measuring the ham in your cheese sandwich josh oh i just uh i i drape the ham on my tongue yeah so the tongue is the most sensitive muscle in the body right so your tongue can actually weigh the ham so that’s why if you see me in the office and i just got hand draped on my tongue singing uh goodbye horses what is goodbye horse is that the song from uh from silence to the limbs or is that all the pretty horses i don’t know let’s try to make a buffalo brian can you please help me oh my point is golden hair surprises golden hair okay anyways the idea of a condiment where do you draw the line on economy because for me pastrami is a perfect example i was gonna say pastrami or corned beef is kind of where it starts to go into more like meal territory yeah for me i’ve never had just like i i don’t eat just a plate of corned beef you know but um i do think okay it is goodbye it is goodbye horsepower i tuck it tuck it in goodbye horses um is this a grilled cheese this is a grilled cheese it puts the ham on the scale the ham on the let me finish my thumb you you pleb okay so pretty much i think i draw the line at like corned beef and pastrami because i don’t like i don’t put that on like a dinner plate typically i still eat it like with two slices of bread but there’s something about the like care and attention that goes into corned beef even the like deli stuff that you get sliced that allows the sandwich to change form you know what i’m saying yeah because like they’re they’re all kind of processed meats like a like a ham a turkey even like a roast beef lunch meat it’s like cured it’s very salty it’s different than just putting a whole muscle cut of an animal sure into a sandwich totally like if you take venison like milk braised venison ryan’s cousin likes to milk breakfast weird conversation if you take a a big old hunk of venison and you put in a grilled cheese that is a melt but if you take like a processed venison slice deli situation do ya yeah no no i don’t think indeed like oh sausage is a great example like crumbling sausage into a grilled cheese does not make it a melt but what if it’s like a whole bratwurst that’s in there that’s a hot dog that’s a cheesy dog god we may have to tackle i don’t know i was laying in bed the other day and i got this idea in my mind another cog in the argument of the hot dogs the sandwich debate and i got mad nicole it was like one in the morning i know i got mad at all the people who don’t think a hot dog is a sandwich so like if a bratwurst is in a bun that’s obviously a sandwich the spicing and coarse grindness of a sausage doesn’t mean it’s not and i was just like laying in bed alone was black a hot dog is a sandwich i was just laying in bed literally irate at this idea i don’t feel any type of way as this redditor does about grilled cheese though do you feel because this is a childhood classic that he’s obviously mad that quote-unquote foodies we’re putting a lot of ideas on this guy next time he’s talking about foodies coming in and like ruining this childhood favorite that he’s eating more of do you have any attachment like that to not only grilled cheese but say like any food um not i mean well persian food because i’m just a purist and like whenever people like making like a gourmet sabzi sushi like i want to cry but like grilled cheese i think it has so many iterations of it and there’s so many good iterations of it that it’s allowed to be toyed with and played with i think the grilled cheese is almost the perfect sandwich too toy with i can’t imagine a better sandwich it’s like plain it’s not boring it’s simple and there’s nothing wrong with simple i think you can take simple and do simple well and easily which what is easier than making a grilled cheese sandwich and if you can change it and alter it to your ideal meal there’s nothing wrong with that no not at all especially something that you know there’s not i was trying to think of a food that i get kind of protective over and this is hamburger funny for you no is it do i get protective or hamburger i feel like you really are particular with your hamburgers i’m pretty particular with my hamburgers and i have thoughts and opinions but if somebody likes their hamburger different i’m particular about my hamburger preferences but i’m not particular about the way that they are like viewed or acted upon by society but the big thing for me is honestly tacos oh it’s funny because like obviously you know i don’t have a heritage i don’t have any skin in that game i have a huge love for it and growing up in southern california especially moving to la and like meeting all these chefs who are taking all these like you know really awesome steps in preserving regionality mexican cooking and then you get these comments a comment that i get really fired up on is a hot dog is a taco not a sandwich i hate that it’s like the tortilla pre-dates leavened bread by thousands of years this is like a pre-hispanic you know literally like aztec invention that was almost a miracle of an externalizing corn and turning under a thing of culture erasure of culture is what it is and i don’t that’s why the cube rule pisses me off yeah i know 100 percent god we got to get in the cube rule one day fine ryan just put it on the screen put on the schedule man we got to do a whole cube rule take down because it’s going to happen so i’ve noticed we’ve been talking a lot about meats yes yes we haven’t talked anything about cheeses i think we should bypass cheeses and i think we should talk about vegetables is there such a thing as a vegetable melt or is it only for meat that’s that’s why i like my stance on this because my stance is pure weights and measures so you can put vegetables in there as long as it does not eclipse that eighteen percent threshold you guys that’s important so you’re trying to tell me that if i put eighteen eighteen percent you said eighteen percent that’s all by weight of carrots yeah and it’s a carrot grilled cheese it’s not a carrot melt no once it gets to nineteen percent then i’m sorry yeah yeah okay okay if it’s nineteen so if i put no you’re right you’re right eighteen is okay nineteen is not yeah yeah so if i put eighteen percent of carrots in a melt cut on a bias with a little knife that i like oh the little the squiggly knife yeah the squiggly squiggly knife uh if i put 18 of that it’s a carrot grilled cheese if i put 19 it’s a carrot melt correct and i see what you’re saying i see what you’re saying that is literally two carrot shreds sorry one little crinkle cupcake crinkle cooked carrot it is one single crinkle cut carrot that would separate for me the idea of a grilled cheese and melt because i think you get into such nebulous territory with any of these other arguments of what is an accent meat what you know is pastrami even though it’s only two slices of pastrami it’s still such a dominant flavor and it’s just like you know chewy smoked beef like that is obviously different than say something like a you know a little bit of diced up salami or pepperoni to accent it so i think you can bog yourself down in so many of these discussions about what is a star protein what is an accent meat what does a condom meet and then that’s why for me you just need a strict line in the sand that can be verified and measured so 19 carrots that’s a caramel 18 raw carrot milk is a thing that exists yeah i don’t want to eat it i don’t like a rock carrot melt but it exists also you could they’re making so many crazy vegan meat substitutes now but i’m not talking about those i’m not talking about pseudo meat yeah it’s a good name sudo meat we should make up we should make a we should make it yeah genesis phil collins or solo phil collins i think it’s genesis su studio right i don’t know ryan fact check us out we can’t play that anyways we’re getting sued by phone calls if this podcast gets sued by phil collins that is the best marketing publicity i agree we could ever ask for but i do think we should start a fake meat company and we should call it suits that would definitely get sued no we would buy the rights we’re going to pay a license phil you think we can afford phil collins i think we can afford cheese and rice nicole no way i do it’s a phil collins who got someone got oh my god um some local honey producer in like chile okay i believe or somewhere in south america is getting sued by mel gibson oh because they named their honey company meal gibson which is meal is a spanish word for honey yeah it’s called mel gibson and they are being sued it’s also a very sad story because they were like you know out of the job from coveted why don’t they just change it to me lg because that’s not nearly as funny as neil gibson okay well you got to make compromises it’s kovit um but there’s something about i think a melt has to contain meat or a meat substitute or else it’s just a grilled cheese with vegetables and honestly i don’t i think um i do think that a melt is meat based or fake meat base i see what you’re saying that’s interesting like you know what i’m saying like putting raw carrots 19 raw carrots in a grilled cheese sandwich it does not give me the it’s not the expectation of a melt for me yeah yeah but does not do it for me it seems like it would even be different if you use something like a portobello which is commonly used as like a meat substitute meat proxy proxy meat we have pseudometer we have proximity we got condomies we’ve got phil collins mel gibson star studded cats sending us cease and desist letters up in here but no like if you put portabellos in there that has like a meat intentionality where you’re like i want you to kind of have the experience of meat yeah while still being vegetarian okay so mushrooms are a great place if the carrot is altered in a certain way i think if it’s like you know sous-vided with some cumin seeds and some mustard seeds and it’s like a pastrami carrot which is like something that’s happening god i’ve had this yeah yeah it’s good as hell have you had the lox version of carrots no oh my gosh really really delicious you curious yeah i’ve seen it i’ve seen like beet cured carrot yeah yeah yeah i’m here for all these fake meats okay by the way so i think the vegetable needs to be edited in a meat like way for it to be a melt like just putting like raw tomatoes and like freaking alpha alpha sprouts in between two slices of cheese and melting it is not a melt to me that’s still a cheese sandwich or a grilled cheese i think when you add a meat or a pseudo meat or a substa meat that’s gosh we’re so punny today i love it i think i love it i love us i think whenever you’re perfect maggie saved me from this madness um she shakes her head no she literally popped out behind the door to shake her head now [Applause] i i do think the editing of the vegetable into something meat like makes it a melt but i think the raw like you know how people put wrought like a blt like you use we’ve often said like if you really need to curse if it’s gonna be hilarious if it is gonna hit the best joke ever like try to avoid it but if you gotta say the f word like very rarely you get one ryan says you get one and nicole used it on blt out of nowhere and now we’ve both wasted it did we both get one or is it just one pearl i think it’s one per can you use it on peanuts sorry you ever had a blt that has an edited tomato i hate that you know when they take like dried tomato blt shut up oh i hate that wait purity hold on what you may have just brought up an entirely different point because i was thinking of foods that i’m protective over and like tacos come up because i think there’s just a lot of misinformation are you protective about blts like super oh my gosh tell me why no oh man i am no i’m the same as this grilled cheese guy on reddit that i don’t like oh like why i just i think that bacon oh gosh sorry this is a huge moment where i’m realizing that everything i’ve ever said i’m a complete fraud because i think once you take bacon to me the perfect sandwich is bread very lightly toasted mayonnaise maybe salt and pepper lettuce tomato bacon and that is absolutely it i think even avocado avocado is one of my favorite foods in the world even when you add that to a blt i think it takes away from it i think it takes away from the perfect symphony of juicy umami tomatoes salty crispy bacon cool iceberg a little bit of salty creamy mayonnaise and soft bread i think once you add anything that you had an egg to that even when people are doing like we made pork belly blt i’m like bro that’s less flavorful bacon you’ve just ruined the damn thing sure wow this is like really something i feel but i don’t know if i would say that it’s no longer a blt but oh my god maybe i do okay look at me what if i give you well it’s an acronym you can’t add more things to the action josh josh ezekiel bread already off to a bad start terrible ezekiel bread uh mayo chub let me some mayo check let me finish sun dry tomatoes arugula oh god bacon that’s like with rosemary and freaking like garlic powder and i put that in front of you and i say enjoy your blt i don’t feel i would i i have never verbally assaulted like a server at a restaurant i’ve sent one dish back in my entire life what was it it was very sandy clams that i was just like someone needs to know that the dude with the clams ain’t washing them that’s good that’s a good reason to give your food i would have a full-on meltdown here if you if you just promised me a blt and then you brought me that complete nonsense okay i would go on yelp i would try and like find who the property owner of the restaurant is i would try and like make up rumors to get them evicted that’s not true but i i would be very very disappointed because something i was expecting was not served to me and something that i feel made the product infinitely worse whereas this person obviously feels that adding anything to the simple perfection of grilled of hot bread in cheese is completely ruining it that’s the same way i feel about blts well there you go so wait so josh tell us where you stand let’s let’s let’s find a final let’s find let’s say our final statements and tell me how you feel what constitutes a melt what a meal when does a grilled cheese become a milk tell me a grilled cheese becomes a melt as soon as you know ah i think because like pesto but that’s still got to be a grilled cheese right but if someone added like you know if someone added i am strictly going to flip this okay and i’m going to use my blt logic on this go for it if someone altered the condiment on a blt okay right they left the bones of lettuce not even it can’t be arugula it’s got to be an actual lettuce it’s got to be a crisp lettuce tomato bacon if someone puts on a pesto mayo or obviously some sort of spicy aioli i think that is a fun little twist i think we need even for the things that we protect and love the most we need to allow flexibility for them to be slightly manipulated to you know increase their interest level and enjoyable and enjoyability it’s enjoyable pesto mayo is utterly delicious but now you add like another meat to that i’m out yeah so to me gosh on a grilled cheese you had any sort of meat any sort of vegetable that your teeth has to crunch through it’s no longer a grilled cheese i don’t know if it’s a melt oh my god ah this guy even says i don’t know what it is anymore did i write this is this memento this is memento i just blacked out and wrote this and now i’m like leonardo dicaprio in myself from the end of shutter island i love shutter island once your teeth have to crunch through anything else on a grilled cheese other than bread and cheese you’re done no longer grilled cheese don’t know if it’s a melt don’t know what it is don’t carry not a grilled cheese what do you think do you have any other statements i think you said it enough for the two of us [Music] all right nicole we’ve heard what you and i have to say now it’s time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the twitterverse it’s time for a segment we call opinions are like casseroles [Music] i did not expect myself to get there i’m proud of you at all i think we’re learning a lot about each other and our real like deep inner thoughts here not really no we we still remain pretty closed off emotionally to each other one day we’ll open up nope okay so user at jd maxima 89 corn has a place on pizza childhood comfort meal called sloppy joe pizza for some reason ground beef barbecue sauce frozen corn mixed together on pre-made pizza crust topped with taco seasoned shredded cheese this is absolutely something that i would have grown up on i remember making something very similar when i was a kid when i found out trader joe’s had like pre-made pizza dough you just roll out on top of stuff sure i made this like barbecue cheeseburger pizza and i put frozen corn this is incredible corn on pizza is great corn and cheese are a great combo agreed we don’t for how much corn america grows we are like slightly weirded out by putting corn on everything which is strange because corn on everything is delicious it is it’s like a delicious uh sweet pot sweet vegetable pop yeah you get the little little crunchy little fresh little sweet little starchy big fan but yeah you put it on ice cream like in the philippines oh yeah like the mice conundrum is absolutely delicious in brazil they put it on pizza and burgers we need to start putting corn on more things i’m with you more corn on things more corn okay at dos underscored links cracked black pepper and olive oil triscuits scooping cottage cheese with a ton of your favorite seasonings is my go-to snack did my mom write this shallow did you write this you silly goose you could just tell me that girl why don’t you talk to your daughter you don’t have to say your name is brian james you’re crazy uh yeah this is a very mom snack and uh you’re such a mom this is a mom on a diet honey i bought a dress and it’s a four and i’m a size six we gotta you know tighten that up that’s literally what the snack i’m just gonna have two just two triscuits yeah a whole box of triscuits later i’m gonna eat that whole box in bed later okay yeah i uh this is a mom snack it’s good it’s just a mom snack i i don’t love triscuits that much but for some reason the cracked black pepper in olive oil flavor i think it’s relatively new it came out maybe i mean relatively new for me like 10 years ago it’s really good it’s so freaking good i don’t know why i don’t like any comparable snacks like that except for the cracked black pepper and olive oil just kids delicious love some savory cottage cheese big into that all right at ashley seibert peanut butter belongs in meatloaf it gives it a savory flavor and helps with binding no ah belongs is a strong word can you put peanut butter and meatloaf i’ve never done it which is crazy because i’ve put peanut butter in lots of savory foods almost everything i don’t know what they mean by it gives it a savory flavor because to me beef is a pretty savory flavor yeah i think they might be like a confusing like nutty with savory which happens sometimes but like i uh i don’t eat a lot of meatloaf i need to know more i need to know more ashley ashley cyber reach out tell me what other ingredients go into this meatloaf because like if you’re putting like say peanut butter like ginger scallion fish sauce a little bit of sugar you know kind of play with that thai flavor profile there’s a lot of really delicious i had a feeling you were gonna like put some fish sauce in there and peanut butter and fish sauce a heck of a combo i can see that but i need i need to know more reach out okay christy does things christy wade says frying bread and garlic butter on the stove makes better garlic bread than any recipe involving an oven for the lazy chef yes if you’re lazy which chrissy i think you’re lazy and there’s that’s not wow that’s not a people equate laziness with like a negativity being lazy is totally fine um just be lazy sometimes not all the time you know what people like lazy acceptance movements i am a lazy f like i i am like snorlax like i am that pokemon like i’m lazy as hell so this sounds fantastic but have you ever had the garlic bread that like you like put butter and then you take the garlic and then the dried parsley and then you roll it up in the foil then you put it in the oven like that’s good stuff man wait like homemade or the stuff that they sell no homemade homemade i i grew up buying to me the best garlic bread is almost like the worst garlic bread it’s a weird venn diagram yeah i think i know which one you’re talking about is it the one that comes in like an insulated yeah it comes in like a foil pouch that you buy in the bakery section at major grocery stores and they sell this like yellow spread thing that’s mostly margarine that is that is the best garlic bread and i i love toasting bread on the stove if i’m making a single piece of toast for breakfast yeah i just want my eggs are cooking i just throw another pan on because like i don’t know i don’t have a toaster at home i don’t want to heat up the oven you know so i absolutely love toasting bread on the stovetop but for me the best garlic bread is yeah just this like yellow pasty gets steamed in the bag almost not even crunchy yeah yeah man garlic bread also you are lazy so it’s funny because you’re like one of the hardest working people that i know yeah and you have such an incredible like workout that can drive but then like on the weekend you’ll just be like yeah i woke up at 2 p.m and then i just watched tick-tock for eight hours yeah and now i’m at work i’m a stone cold chiller so-called chili do you really respect that i really am at matthew v 256 i don’t know if it was because i was starving but i just put a chocolate chip cookie on a spicy chick-fil-a sandwich with no pickles life-changing no pickles nickel no still no pickles no pickles sub chocolate chip cookies um i feel like you was just hungry were there any performance-enhancing drugs involved in creating that hunger because that’s my first question this is weird uh i just think you tried to like you know you tried to have your dinner with your dessert and like it’s good in theory but like in actual practice it’s kind of gross i’m trying to think if i’ve had any of those kind of very internet shock foods that have actually been genuinely good like little funny things and people like making sliders and putting in between oreos no i don’t like that stuff it tastes like throw up yeah sweet plus savory sometimes tastes like throw up but we’ve also decided that throw up does not always taste bad yeah but sometimes wrong with us what do you mean no no nicole we are the we are the vox populist we are the voice of the people these are thoughts that everyone has right we’re not weird you guys all think i feel so good have you ever thrown up yoga i have thrown up yogurtland within 15 minutes of eating it was there what i took you to you oh yeah no i didn’t throw it i threw it up later i didn’t throw it up this is the difference you weren’t with me when you threw up but yeah we did something where you did a lot this was after i chugged the gravy this is after i did the gravy chugging challenge but no this was after i ate a six pound burrito back when i was 18. the manual special from el tepayak in boyle heights or maybe it’s east l.a right next to cal state l.a i ate a six pound burrito in under 10 minutes uh did you get an award uh they gave me like a t-shirt maybe or something okay anyways the point is it was for pride and then i went and i was i really wanted dessert because you got a savory stomach and a sweet stomach right yeah and so i went to yogurtland i got a full pound of yogurt because i really like to mix flavors yogurt yogurt so i got my like pistachio and i got my my taro oh my gosh taro yogurtland is fire taro new york cheesecake pistachio is my trifecta oh god for someone’s thing uh yeah anyways then i just like threw it up like 15 minutes later but it was really great because it was a spicy burrito right uh braised pork really fantastic and the cool cool sweet yogurtland provided like this lubricate of coating on my throat and i have never been more grateful in my life so what what are we talking about chocolate chip cookies on chick-fil-a oh yeah gross oh that was great i can only imagine 18 year old you because it was like three of you right now yeah yeah oh i was a big kid uh lady of the loot jillian henderson says josh do you want my cats they need a new home and i’ll go on vacation to bring them to you we all win also pickled grapes on fish is delicious revalence requirement number one i’m not josh you’ll have to ask him later uh he probably doesn’t want any cats right now because he’s he doesn’t he has like attachment issues right now and like he just needs to like be alone yeah working through some things yeah number three uh pickled grapes on fish hell yeah that sounds delicious so artisanal look at you jillian you’re amazing yeah i’m gonna this is a two-part question so i’m gonna go ahead and address the easier part first pickle grapes on fish wow that sounds lovely uh shout out the first first person i saw to do that combo dude named joe moeller was it for the grapes commercial was it a commercial about grapes no he we were we were doing this really weird thing where like this production company that was piloting out cooking competition concepts would like hit up this little crew of people um and and we would like go compete against each other and shoot a full show that would never go to air they’d give us like you know 200 bucks to do it and i was in college so that was like the most money i never made this is so fun it was so fun joe moeller is a dude who i ended up running into him at the ihop sponsored ihob burger event sure because he like throws big events for for corporations but yeah first time i ever saw pickled grapes on fish was when he made this like scallop ceviche with pickled grapes for one of these cooking products oh interesting yeah and i made beer bad scallop talker shout out to joe muller’s good dude uh about the cats nicole mentioned some attachment issues i don’t think i have attachment issues right now so much issues isn’t the right word attachment complications okay sorry i didn’t want to say issues i just nothing else came into my brain i think i’m i’m just wondering if i have the bandwidth in my life that’s what i meant i got a lot of things going on what why did i say why did i say that no it’s not you know we’ve talked it’s you know there’s something’s going on uh but you know i’m in a very happy relationship right now you know uh but you know she has a cat and i love that cat but right now i don’t know if i can be responsible for a living soul yeah that’s what i meant yeah i didn’t mean attachment issues i meant he can’t keep things alive yeah correct correct i will accidentally kill that cat and i can’t have that on my conscience okay all right at rjc i always hated cauliflower because my mom made it by steaming a whole head of it with mayo then mustard then ketchup then finally slices of american cheese and put in the oven now i love it just oiled and roasted uh i’m so sorry link either red or link were talking recently about how their mom used to just like mix mayo and mustard and put that on cauliflower this must have been a thing that was going around in like you know southern living magazine or something back in like the 80s that was a whole thing i used to just eat steamed cauliflower with a single piece of american cheese draped over the largest florets and it would kind of kind of droop and sweat and this is how white people cook this is so weird yeah we don’t know how to make them taste good so we put cauliflower oh yeah like i understand broccoli and cheese but like cauliflower and cheese is weird yeah it’s a little bit worse yeah sounds really bad uh this sounds really sad to me like putting three condiments and then putting it in the oven that just sounds wrong this is like wrong if there’s three condiments that should all go on a burger i don’t know if they should also go on like a whole head at home no and then roasting it afterwards that’s that’s screwed up like this is i’m trying to think like broil mayonnaise like dynamite like scallop dynamite style yeah but like [ __ ] she’s not yeah yeah you’re right your mom was not blanching the cauliflower and you know shocking it in ice in an ice bath with a like you know this is bad i don’t like do you have any foods like that though that you grew up eating a terrible preparation of and you hated but now you don’t hate me no my mom’s a great cook yeah i’m so jealous i thought i hated steak for the first like 15 years of my life because i grew up eating london broil that was just like thrown in a bro in an oven uh at like 400 degrees for 40 minutes still is perfectly well done no salmon i thought i hated because my grandma would just take like frozen salmon out of the freezer and like pop it in the oven i’m really lucky my dad is a is very good at cooking eggs and fish like he’s a fanta eggs potatoes and fish are my dad’s specialties and he can make them perfectly every single time like he’s a really good cook find a couple things and do them well and then my mom is like so she has like a lexicon of persian dishes that she can make but like one time she oh one time she made stir fry and i’m like mom this is wrong like how are you putting pomegranate syrup in the stir fry that sounds good it was weird no no no no no she did it wrong and like everything was like wilted and weird so i guess that’s an example when when my persian mom tries to make stir-fried that’s weird that makes sense my dad made good salmon cakes that’s good yeah that is out of a can but it’s still pretty good that’s good ben j brand says i firmly believe that salads should be considered a finger food a fort can’t handle croutons lettuce cherry tomatoes or anything else in a salad for that matter and it’s not like it would be messy as ribs or even nachos do you know what dressing is sir ma’am whatever nah don’t put this on you’re you’re putting your own opinions on to ben he’s he’s obviously dipping these things in the dressing oh oh that’s what i’m inferring oh oh but i’m inferring oh you’re taking it but even if the dressing’s on it pinching it putting it in he added he said ribs and nachos those are both the heavily dressed foods that you eat with your fingers yeah but salad’s different because it’s healthy for you i think that is part of it it’s a class device for sure honestly that’s this is a classified this is a class this issue this is a political yeah this is a political issue yeah uh no i fully believe that salad should be finger food and if we look to sylvia the bell jar as we often do there’s a scene where a a male poet is eating caesar salad with his hands but he’s doing it so confidently that no one dares question him on it right which is i don’t remember that part yeah it’s really great and like when i read that i suppose you should have been pondering like you know um how much space men and their you know silly needs take up in society uh and you know how no one called him on it because it’s probably a gender issue but i read that and said like damn you should be eating salads with your hands that sounds great you ever seen seinfeld when they take the candy bar and they cut it with a fork and knife no i never never seen an episode of slime filled what yeah it just never happened you’ve never seen an episode of seinfeld shut up shockingly you’re crazy man you’re missing out big time all right we got at frantabulus grew up eating things like popcorn with milk peas and milk cabbage and milk etc context northern new york dairy country stem from my grandma and great-grandma depression-era food delicious and people think i’m crazy thoughts huh i grew up drinking pepsi mixed with milk and i don’t know what that was about because we weren’t near a dairy farm you mean you mean milk [Laughter] do you what do you put milk on popcorn i guess if you got to sell the milk if you got to sell the milk you tell people to put it on the cabbage and i get it look if you love it then i love it i think that’s great i remember reading the boxcar children growing up what is that it was it’s actually probably a really depressing book series if you look at it children the boxing children it was a fun series of child novels where it was a bunch of kids who i believe were orphaned and they were all brother and sister and they lived in a boxcar and society wasn’t really helping them they weren’t getting into a social car like a train like a gutted train oh like a hobo yeah they were a bunch of homeless children who went around like solving little mysteries while not getting any support from the state or society at large so looking back it was a really weird social commentary but as a kid i was like yeah i want to live in a box car too anyways their favorite meal which is more depressing was milk was it bread and milk bread and milk i knew it so you could do it i knew it i knew it i could have told you that i tried i was like old bread milk that sounds great and i tried pouring like milk on bread and i ate it and i like gagged when i was a kid i didn’t understand what texture that would create uh and so i don’t know i do love milk though uh look fran fabulous if you’re loving these combos you love these combos sell the milk uh sell the milk and uh that’s what i’m gonna say about that beauty jones i made a bet with my wife today i need your input why do people always do this do you think that on any given day taco bell sells more tacos than all other fast food taco places combined no not combined i do think they sell the most but i don’t think combined i think del taco does pretty good numbers well there’s a dell taco for like every region every region has its own like secondary taco chain and a lot of them looking really dank like i’ve never been to taco john’s or taco on the market and we can swoop in and find the gaps where they’re not interesting so like fish yeah exactly and that’s why like del taco does their like shrimp tacos and like they’ll make both tacos that are cheaper and crappier than taco bell yeah to hit him on the like 39 cent taco night but then they’ll also have like a five dollar like steak and shrimp burrito that taco bell can’t do and so every region has these you know different things that are like we you know we started doing breakfast before taco bell to try and swoop in on the margins so i think there’s enough competitors regionally where taco bell does not sell more but i’d be interested to see those numbers i’m a big taco statistician that’s very interesting i still don’t think they sell more than like places combined though but like i do think they’re pretty close yeah yeah and on that note thank you for listening to a hot dog as a sandwich we got new episodes for you every wednesday if you want to be featured on opinions or like casseroles you can hit us up on twitter at mythicalchef or nhandy zade with the hashtag opinioncasserole and for more mythical kitchen check us out on youtube we launch videos every week and of course if you want to share pics of your dishes hit us up on instagram at mythical kitchen we’ll see you next time go make a grilled cheese go make a blt ah yum better [Music] thanks for listening to this episode of a hot dog as a sandwich and hey before you go we wanted to remind you that season two of stevie’s podcast best friend’s back alright is underway this season expands on stevia and nagin’s friendship from last season but explores all new themes and ideas yeah episodes will feature an open conversation with a gynecologist who just happens to be nakeen’s sister the ins and outs of eel sex and a deep dive into the most embarrassing items to be found by security at the airport things get crazy this season so be sure to follow best friends back all right on apple podcast spotify or wherever you get your podcast all right i like that me too all right all right all right