You know what they say, when you’re here, you’re family. You know what they should say, let’s go to Bucca di Beppo instead. And I’m just here for the free chicken parm. This is a Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show we break down the world’s Biggest Food Debates, I’m your host Josh Scherer, and I’m your host Nicole Enayati. And today we are joined by actress, singer, and member of Smosh, Angela Giarratana. Thank you! How did I do on the Giarratana of it all? I think you did fine. I think, I’ve heard, my dad says Giarratana, my mom says Giratana, everyone says their own version. Right, right, right. We did not only ask you here to eat all of this deliciously authentic Italian food from Olive Garden Bucca di Beppo. Because you are Italian, but you do, uh, exude a certain amount of Italian ness. Thank you so much, but it’s, it’s very funny that I think I exude this type of Italian ness. Is it real Italy? It’s corporate America? Um, affordable Italian food. Our favorite. Okay, so Olive Garden definitely. I mean, both are. This is a very specific lens through which to view the thousands of years of history of Italy, right? Uh, but the founder of Buca di Beppo actually did that like very, very intentionally. Where he was like, this is the culture I grew up with. I grew up with, you know, the Frank Sinatra version of Italian Americanist. And he straight up designed bucas the way that he did. Because he wanted to like show that kind of corny good natured side of Italian Americanist. Which I think is really rad, and like, when I think of corny, good natured Italian Americans, Angela, you are the top of the list. Do I come to your mind? You genuinely do. Josh knows how to woo a woman, doesn’t he? He sure does. Um, we were going over something earlier that, uh, you and I have a long food history together, because I likely delivered you yogurts and stale muffins in college. Okay, so walk me through that. I don’t even understand. I worked for ASUCLA catering, the second best catering company on campus ucla catering they wore the polos and they were way better than us but we would deliver like cold coffee and stale muffins in warm yogurts to the theater theater department and you and I would have overlapped by at least like two years there, yeah, so if you ate a stale muffin, it was likely delivered by my unwashed hands. Oh my gosh, that’s the beginning of our story, our food story. Romantic. Wow, that’s crazy. And look at us now. Do you have any, uh, other memories of that? Maybe the sandwiches with the brown lettuce? Um, don’t remember those. I did something crazy over there where near the UCLA, um, near the theater department, they had the, um, like, like a hotel for like guests and professors. Yeah, they did. And they always had a continental breakfast every morning at 9am. No, you didn’t. And you bet your ass. I didn’t know that. Me and my best friend, we would walk over there because it’s like pretty undercover. You don’t even know it’s like a hotel. It’s like very small. And we’d always get a coffee and a muffin. Always from there. So maybe you dropped stuff there. I probably did. I’m sure. I thought you were gonna say you just like macked on the entire continental breakfast. You were like making yourself omelets and waffles. 100%. No, 100%. Very, very good. Yeah. And then at some point they always go like, uh, what room number are you guys? And we’re like, my mom’s upstairs. And then we’d leave and then go to class. Nice. My biggest memory from that catering company is we would serve the football team, uh, you know, breakfast and lunch. And so there’s a bunch of, you know, future NFL draft picks. Um, but Deshaun Foster, UCLA legend. Now the head coach of UCLA, he stared at the, um, the greasiest pulled pork you’d ever seen in front of me and said, what is that? And I go, Oh, this is a pulled pork. And he goes, man, that’s not pulled pork. That’s pulled grease. And I was like. I loved watching you in that 2003 season, and I thought that the Panthers cut you way too early, Mr. Foster. He was correct. It was just untenably greasy pulled pork. So, Deshawn Foster, if you listen to this, um, still loved your play style. Vertical, slashing, running back. I don’t think he was watching it, I’m so sorry. And that pulled pork was too greasy. We gotta get into this. Do you have any initial thoughts about Olive Garden and Buca di Beppo? I know Smosh has a unique connection to Buca di Beppo. Yeah, tell the people. Did you, um, which was alarming to me when I first started working there because my family hates Buca. Nice, okay. And kinda likes Olive Garden, um. But like, for some reason, I think my mom and I called my dad this morning and I was like, why do you and mom like hate Buca? And he goes, one bad meal. That’s all it takes. That’s all it takes. One bad impression. You’re done. Yeah. And my parents are very specific. If the sauce it like is a little too sweet. Okay, they’re out. But they’re not snobs. They’re like New York, my dad’s very New York Italian, very just bought like [bleep] cheese, like the Kroger cheese, what I grew up on, like not really sophisticated stuff, but for some. Green shaker bottle cheese? Yes. Extra chewy with the wood pulp. 100%. It’s the one Snooki uses all the time. But they, yeah, so they hate bucca, but Olive Garden, not too far off. But at some point in my family we started going to Olive Garden like towards because I think my parents wanted cheap Italian food because in LA, there’s like expensive Italian. Yeah, the spectrum’s crazy. Yeah, and there’s not a lot of like mom and pops that I know of they’re like, yeah. Yeah, yeah, Italian and Chinese like there aren’t a ton of mom and pops like we grew up with Olive Garden and Panda Express for our Italian and Chinese, like, cheap options. Yeah, I was more of a Sbarro girl. Love Sbarro. You wanna know the truth? You were at the food court? Of course. I’ve only had Olive Garden twice. Like, I went and sat down there twice and I did get food poisoning. Both times I went there. But I’m feeling, but I’m feeling good about this. You know, I reheated this up to 165, so we’re hoping we’re not gonna poop a lot from this. We’ll see. We were a straight up Buca di Beppo mixed family. So my Vietnamese stepmom Buca di Beppo is her favorite restaurant in the entire world because I think for her she like saw Americana in it and this, this was the prize jewel of the Buca di Beppo table for my vietnamese stepmother a half pound meatball the big one the big one they served you just a giant meatball and for her that was like Oh, this is American opulence. Because it’s big? Because it’s big! It’s too big! Literally, in Italy, like, you have these are pretty standard American sized meatballs. This is a large, ostentatious caricature of a Buca di Beppo meatball. In Italy, like, polpette or polpettine they’re tiny little guys. You know, just little guys. And so, this is the Pokemon evolution of meatballs. So you eventually get the bucca di beppo over here. But, Olive Garden, like Growing up in Orange County, that was, that was birthdays. It was, uh, basketball team banquets. After prom, pre prom. After prom, we would go there when they did their soup salad and breadsticks for 8. 99. Me and my buddy would go there after skimboarding at the beach for six hours. We’d walk in in like wet board shorts and wouldn’t tip because we only had a 10 in our pocket. Why would you tip? I’m sorry Laguna Hills. It’s a board shorts problem. It’s not them. You can’t put a wallet in your board shorts. You can’t. So I have a lot of history here. Should we, should we start? Should we dig in? I’m so I’m putting my laptop down. Yeah, I’m pulling my sleeves up. There’s bread. Um, maybe we start with the bread? Is that crazy? Sure we can. Let me do it the way the waitress would intend? Sure. So we got garlic bread from Bucca di Beppo and then we got the breadsticks from Olive Garden. Bucca di Beppo did not give us a side of marinara, demerit, but Olive Garden did give the option of a side of marinara. So go ahead and dip. Go crazy. We’re dipping in. Okay, so Olive Garden is obviously known for their breadsticks here. Grab one. Take one, pass it down. Take one, pass it down. Olive Garden known for unlimited, uh, breadsticks and salad. And that was like a huge draw when they opened in, gosh, Orlando, 1982. It was like a massive success. Right. But don’t you have unlimited bread at the table for like other chain restaurants? So what’s the big deal? We definitely do. I think maybe they were one of the first to really start it. I know what the salad they definitely were. Um, the ironic thing about their breadsticks. So we’ve talked about this before in the show. Olive Garden was like massively failing. They were Heading towards bankruptcy, and it’s a massive business. There’s about a thousand locations of Olive Garden. Right. A company did a 250 page audit on all of the Olive Garden’s practices. A consulting firm. And they were like, here’s what you could do better. They were like, 73 percent of respondents said that your pasta is quote, tasteless, and we noticed you don’t salt your pasta water. Crazy. What if you did that? Olive Garden execs went I learned to do that at 6. Dude. Same. Olive Garden execs said, well it would degrade the pans faster, so we’re not gonna do it. And then they went, okay, okay, okay. 89 percent of people said, if the breadsticks sit on the table for longer than 90 seconds, they get cold and stale. A little like these. Um, what if you just serve people one breadstick, and if they want more, you grab them. And they’re like, no, there’s gotta be six in a basket! Stop trying to change the Olive Garden! Wow! Yeah, this breadstick has like a, a sponge, very spongy, like a napkin Substancy, right? And I will say it’s it’s perfectly salted though. I will say the salt levels are kind of incredible It’s right down the middle not too salty, not under salted, run your finger across the top. There’s a patina. Yeah, there’s a patina, there’s a there’s a glaze it is a glazed Just with margarine like substance. But then there’s a bit of a, there’s a roughness to it. Oh yeah. Like a cat’s tongue. Like a sandpapery cat’s tongue on it. It’s the garlic powder. That’s very pleasant for me. God, that was great. That felt great. I feel so nostalgic. Give me some buca di beppo bread. Here you go babes. Go wild. Um, ironically, all of the entrees that we have picked None of these, like, really exist in these forms in Italy at all. Like, at all. Like, chicken parmesan, not a thing at all. It’s, like, based on eggplant parmesan or melanzane. Chicken fettuccine alfredo certainly does not exist. No! What? Maybe it should. Really? Wait, did you know that? No, I don’t know any of this [bleep]. Oh my gosh, I don’t know. I just assumed you’re native latent Italian nessless. I only know the Jersey Shore. Wait, tell me, tell me. This isn’t a dish in Italy? No, so Alfredo technically was invented in Italy, it was invented in Rome by a chef, his name was just Alfredo. Uh, and his wife was pregnant and he wanted to kind of give her like something comforting to eat. And so he mixed butter, parmesan, a little bit of pasta water with pasta, called it Alfredo sauce. That then came to America via the silent movie stars. Douglas Fairbanks and Mary Pickford? I was gonna say that. Yeah, me too. Mary Pickford. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. Definitely Douglas. You ever been to Musso and Frank in Hollywood? So Musso and Frank has been serving the original Roman Alfredo dish because Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks wanted it there. However, Alfredo sauce just got like bastardized over time just turned into some like cream emulsion Yeah, I love it. Like cotton candy. In Italy, they don’t really eat chicken like that. They say chicken is for like the old and the sick. Oh really? Like they don’t do chicken pasta. They don’t do chicken on pizza. Especially. No chicken, past chicken pizza. Certainly pizza. But no chicken on pizza. No chicken on pasta because chickens are better used to lay eggs, uh, to then mix into the pasta and then used for carbonara and stuff like that. So now that you’re saying that, this is crazy because I think I grew up ordering ch uh. Alfredo, because it was the closest thing that my grandma would make for me. She never made Alfredo. She always made me like when I was sick or any time I was over, she would always make me pastina, which was just like, like literally like a milky soup almost. And I think I started to be obsessed with fettuccine Alfredo. Cause that was the closest thing at a restaurant you can get. You’re a hundred percent. Right. I always viewed fettuccine Alfredo as like fancy for some reason. Why did we think that? Because my mom wouldn’t let me have it. She’s like no cream based sauces in the house. Why? Like some almond mom stuff? Almond mom. But, but when I had like 18, when I was 18 and I had my own money, I’m like, let’s go to Olive Garden. So I definitely associated cream based sauces as fancier. Anytime we went out, I was like, I’m going to get the cream sauce. I’m going to get the Alfredo. I’m still like that today though. Honestly, when I go out I try to get a cream sauce when I’m feeling super fancy. Me too. This is true It’s really a treat yourself thing. It is but it doesn’t treat you well at all I’m a lactose intolerant baddie, but that doesn’t bother me. Should we eat? Should we eat our? Where are we feeling on the bread? Oh, oh, i’m so sorry the garlic bread Yeah, the garlic bread from buca de pepo is better. Yeah Why did these breadsticks have such a choke hold on the nation for like 25 years? Okay, had american never had a breadstick before? Cuz these, these don’t hold up. I’m actually thinking now I don’t know about a lot of bread sticks at chain restaurants a lot of bread. Yeah Yeah, but where do you see like a nice packaged little guy like that? I mean, it’s beautiful. I’ll give it that it’s beautiful It’s uniform. It’s even but it doesn’t taste that good. Yeah, I love how easily it fits in the mouth You know what? I mean? I want to just shove like a little hot dog in there and kind of use it like a it shines Incredibly, it’s kind of a beautiful product. It just doesn’t Tastes very good is the only problem. Looks like it’s made for camera and camera only. You’re so right. It does look like a camera ready food. Alright, we’re jumping into the Angela Giratana special Chicken Fettuccine Alfred. Uh, we’ve banned saying any Italian words with a vowel at the end in our kitchen. You’ve done that. Which I love that you said spaghet completely unprompted. I don’t do that. I meant to say me, not we. Yeah, you do that. Spaghet. I say Alfred dough. Fettuccine Alfred. Alfred! I’ve never heard Alfred. Never heard Alfred? I’m used to spaghet and spaghet only. Why is this good? Um, which one? This is Bucca Beppo. I want to try their chicken. I’m curious to see if they’re using any actual, like, techniques to make their chicken less dry. I think the chicken might be steamed. Oh. I think the chicken might be poached or steamed. Interesting. When Smosh gets Bucca di Beppo catering, I just pack it up and then I just have it the next morning when I’m like hungover. So good. It’s good hungover food, but I don’t I don’t know. I need to know. Is their chicken fried in an egg batter? You know what I’m talking about? It’s like a weirdly Italian technique. I feel like the chicken is poached in a liquid and sliced. That could be it. Do you taste that? Do you see the texture on the chicken, how it’s a little, it’s a little spongy, a little, a little streaky? I do, but there’s also a little bit of, kind of, goo on the outside of it, and I can’t tell if that’s just alfredo sauce clinging to it, or if it’s an egg batter. Or is it a separate goo? I think that it might be a separate goo. A separate goo? They have a dish at Bukit Babok. We would always get the apple gorgonzola salad still holds up. I couldn’t even get To get the the chopped salad with the salami and the pepperoncini. Thank you No, I love the way the mustard the apples and the blue cheese interact before my meal That’s just not no. There’s a dish called chicken saltimbocca from there that I think Absolutely rips. It is so good. We couldn’t get it because it doesn’t fit with the milieu here, but it’s like a pounded chicken breast. They do the egg batter. Okay, there’s no flour and it’s not crispy, but it’s just like egg batter chicken. It’s a very Italian, Southern Italian cooking technique. Okay, and then they put like Brown butter, sage, crispy prosciutto, and lemon. And it’s just a great, it’s a good stand alone dish that can hold up anywhere. And what do they call it? Chicken saltimbocca. Saltimbocca? Saltimbocca, but we dropped the A. Saltimbocca. Saltimbog. He’s got it, he’s got it. Saltimbog. Come on. Drop the A, why don’t you? My grandma adds A’s to everything and says it’s Italian, but it’s a English. Like I grew up thinking a purse was a pocket bookle. And then we were like, you mean a pocket book? Or she’d say, no joke, she’d say, Ices cremo. Oh, that’s so sweet. Really embarrassing. I love grandmas. It’s the best. That’s right. This is really good. Bucca’s really good. It’s creamy, it’s dreamy, it’s good. It’s not too heavy either, which I like. Something we need to get to is, um, Olive Garden’s gone through their financial troubles, certainly. Pucca di Beppo is officially bankrupt. I know you know this. I was gonna say, it’s so sad to, it’s so sad. I think, I mean their decor alone, it’s like, they’re really, they’re really serving in those little rooms. The little Pope table, the table with the Pope, my favorite table. Yeah, I love the Pope table. You gotta sit at the Pope table. Olive Garden’s giving like, Airbnb art everywhere. Oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god, Tuscan like, kitchen circa 2000. Like it’s art of a window. Yeah, you’re so right. This isn’t doing anything for anyone. You’ll see the same like sailboat picture in two corners of the restaurant and just be like. Meanwhile, Bucco di Beppo I feel like is gay. Yeah, Bucco di Beppo is gay. You’re so right. What about that? Bucco di Beppo’s very gay. Maggiano’s Little Italy, uh, asexual, demiromantic, actually. Maggiano’s. They’re out here, uh, repping for the, the aro, not asexual. Okay, this rips for me harder than that one all of a sudden. You’re so right. I’m thinking because of the cheese? Do you think this one’s better? Do you think Olive Garden is better than Bucca di Beppo? I don’t know, but having it side by side, this one hit harder. I don’t know why. I’m tasting no seasoning from the pasta in here. What? Taste the pasta again. I’m getting no seasoning. Maybe I had a bad bite. Taste the chicken. Eat the chicken. The chicken’s great. This chicken. So you can tell. Okay, see how the chicken is like smooth like lunch meat? Yeah, yeah, it’s interesting, right? So that means that this has been like a salt brine for a long, long time. This has just been sitting in a salt water solution, which kind of makes it taste better. It makes it taste a little more processed, a little less homemade. Mm hmm. Oh, it’s like a, yeah. Mm hmm. I’ll say this. The noodles and the sauce, completely flavorless and tasteless. The chicken though, is the saving grace. If you eat everything all together, a piece of chicken, a little sauce, a little bit of noodle, it tastes good as a, as a bite combined. This is a dish. This is a dish. You need to eat each part of it together, but if you have like leftover noodles, you won’t like it. With the Buca di Beppo one, it is a more homogenous, uniform, delicious, pleasant, flavor combination. You don’t need to eat the chicken to say, Oh, that’s yummy. You don’t need to eat the sauce. It’s good. You know what I mean? Are you picking up what I’m putting? Bucca di Beppo tastes like something. Olive Garden tastes like nothing. That’s all I’m getting. That’s all I’m getting. Nothing special, and this is nothing. Nothing. I feel like I’m tasting salt, I’m tasting garlic, I’m getting the cream. This, Bucca di Beppo, listen, they, they were like owned by the Planet Hollywood That’s right. family of restaurants for a while, and then Went through all these troubles, and changed hands, and now they’re going bankrupt. They’re not like a little mom and pop shop. However, this tastes like a person cooked it, you know what I mean? Which I like. This tastes like this was run through a Rube Goldberg machine system, and it ended up on a plate. Does that make sense? Yes. Am I so effed up that, that I like stuff made by a machine because I grew up here? Or I just grew up in America? Yeah, you’re effed up. Like, I’m like, whoa, that is crazy, and I could taste that, but why do things, like, is it some weird, like, like, backwards, like, now things that taste processed, my body’s just used to more, and it’s more familiar? It’s the science of the processed foods that makes you love it so much. You know, there’s like people in like, there’s there’s R& D, research and development, where there’s like chefs and scientists sitting there trying to make you crave this food and try to make you obsessed with this food. And I listened. That’s fine. Me too. I mean, I mean, it’s very, very human to like love processed, more salty, more sugary, more like MSG foods. It’s done that way by design. Yeah, we’re like lab rats. You ever read those studies? Like, we gave a rat cheese, and we gave the other rat cocaine, and we saw how many times they could hit a button, you know? And then they’re like, really? We are the cocaine rats. We are the cocaine and cheese rats. And I’m just here to listen and respond. Exactly, that’s all we’re here for. Uh, no, I was talking to Julia, we had some cherry flavored dessert, and uh, she tasted it and goes, Oh, this tastes like cough syrup. I’m like, no! No, the cough syrup tastes like that dessert! They made the cough syrup taste like the dessert because people like the dessert! But she didn’t grow up eating processed food, she didn’t have like a crazy almond granola whatever mom. She was just like, oh, I love my kids, I’m gonna cook nice foods for them. So she only associates artificial flavor with medicines, that’s the only time she would have really had them. And so you and I grew up little garbage kids. Yeah. Yes. Drinking slurpees all the time. Like a freaking adult. I know. Eating like processed stuff. Going in the Walmart, uh, getting a 99 cent Icy, so I’d shut the hell up while my parents are trying to find the best deal on batteries. Oh, sweet. And look how great you both turned out. This is, the chicken is so wildly over seasoned. The pasta is so wildly under seasoned. Take half the salt in the chicken, put it in the damn pasta. Yeah, you’re right. It’s fine. You’re right. I will, I will concede if you two think that Olive Garden should win. No, no, no. I, I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m, I’m torn because I think you’re right. Um, having this chicken alone, the Olive Garden chicken alone, was better. Yes, I agree with you. If the chicken from the Olive Garden was with the Bucca di Beppo sauce and noodles, I would have been a happy camper. Yeah, but the, the Bucca di Beppo noodles? Mm hmm. I feel like so much work has been done. You’re so right. Like, I feel like they got, like, like Botoxes in these noodles. Versus this, I taste like it’s pasta. Does that make sense? And maybe that’s because it’s bland, but I can, like, literally taste the noodle. All I can taste is, like, junk. I think we should give it to Buka. Yeah? I think I’m gonna give it to Bukka. Officially giving it to Buca? Yeah, this is a better, yeah. Um, we should, we should talk about, uh, Buca de Beppo’s name, by the way. Do you, saying Peppo. You keep saying Peppo, which is And it’s Beppo. Buca de Beppo. De Beppo. Beppo is short for Giuseppe. Beppo’s a nickname for Giuseppe. And so, uh, bucca is like a Tuscan slang for little hole. So it’s Giuseppe’s little hole. We’re eating Giuseppe’s little hole right now. I’m happy to be here. I’m just happy to be here. So let’s walk that back. Um. No, no, so, so, it literally does translate. That’s what you were saying. No, no, no, no, keep going because, um, who’s, what? Giuseppe Beppo. Giuseppe’s little hole. Why don’t you get Giuseppe’s little hole? No, but like little hole. Meaning, like, cozy little room, so you’d like, retire to my den, my cozy little, not, your hole is a cozy little room, I’m saying. Speak for yourself, buddy! You can’t say the F word, but you can make like, silly little jokes. Speak for yourself, buddy! Giuseppe’s little hole is so much more vulgar than the F word. We need to, we need to get through that. Giuseppe’s little hole, I couldn’t, I couldn’t move on to these meatballs before we talked about it. Yeah, okay. Should we do meatballs first? Okay, meatballs first. Oh, hell yeah, hell yeah. Look at this. Big honkin ball! More people say it’s like Giuseppe’s basement or Giuseppe’s den, but I like Little Hole better. Yeah. Okay, I’m digging into this. Sorry, everybody. The meatball, this is a huge part of my childhood. It just sits on a gigantic nest of undressed spaghetti. I remember it being very big. I don’t ever remember it being good. Also, it is kind of like a medium. It’s like a pink medium in the middle, which is interesting. It’s like a sunset in there. Technically. This shouldn’t be allowed. Nicole, you and I knowing what we know about food safety. I was about to say the same thing! Were you? No. USDA guidelines say 165 degrees for any ground meat. This is not 165. You don’t get that pink with anything over 155. Like, it’s fine for us to eat, because we’re professionals. Live fast, die young, bad girls do it well. There you go, and it’s content, okay? Yeah, yeah, just suffer for content like you usually do. It tastes really good though, I kinda like the texture of it. Am I, am I crazy? Am I crazy? Angela, how do you feel about the size? Okay, the, I’ll tell, the size is, is What I know from just making meatballs on my own, I don’t know much about, you know, uh, fire and, uh, you know, elements and what that does and what it does to meat and how, you know. But it being bigger makes me feel like it’s drier. Mmm. I feel like in the beginning it’s, in the middle it’s really dry. And I feel like smaller meatballs. Am I, am I just like, is that wrong? Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah. Yeah. It just feels dry to me. ? No, I think this is, I think it’s dense and dry. It’s a dense and dry meatball, but it, but the flavor is good. Yeah. Well, maybe the size, ’cause I, I know what you’re saying. Like on these meatballs, you’re getting a harder sear on the outside, like the Olive Garden ones, you know what I mean? On the Olive Garden meatballs, you’re getting a harder CR on the outside because they’re a lot smaller. Yeah. Whereas this one, it’s. This is a meatloaf, right? We can all agree on that. Like what’s, this is meatloaf. It’s a personal pan meatloaf. And that’s, that’s sort of my problem with it. Which I guess, yeah, meatloaf probably is problem though? But like when you go to Buca di Beppo, it’s family sized portions anyways. Right. And like, you’re going there, you’re going with like a big group of people. You’re trying to share things. And I think. Like, that’s the general vibe of the place, so the meatball reflects the vibe. Yeah, I agree with that. But I also think size is a really important thing. I’m thinking, like, could you imagine asking for cupcakes and you get a cake? That’s what this feels like. Point Angela! This feels like, whoa, excuse me, little hole. I didn’t order this, Mr. Man from the Hole. I ordered a smaller version of this, because it’s different. Imagine just a little Italian Hobbit, you know, coming out, big ol hairy feet. Um, I have ironically seen full size cakes that are decorated like cupcakes. So this is one of those things where meatballs, we talk about this, balls are sexier than loaves. I agree. Meatballs, you would go to like Have you guys had that conversation before? We’ve talked about a lot of stuff. That balls are sexier than loaves. Actually, yeah. Yes, yes, yes, we’ve decided. I love you guys. How many, okay, I want to talk about broccolini later on because I saw your TikTok about it. Oh my god. At the restaurant that you went to, they probably had like meatballs on that menu. If they had roasted broccolini, there was probably some like 18 plate of meatballs. That’s an acceptable sexy date night thing to order for the table. Would you ever order The sexy broccolini? Sexy broccolini and sexy meatballs. Yeah. That’s like my go to order. Um, would you ever order like a sexy meatloaf on a date? 100 percent no. The word meatloaf is inherently unsexy. Loaf equals unsexy. So no, if I’m trying to be sexy on a date, of course I’m not going to get a meatloaf. I’m honestly thinking like, how could meatloaf be sexy if it’s like sliced really thin? We have to change the name. We have to, we would have to change the name. Razor thin ribbons of loaf. Like, like really, like really thin little Do they have, do they have chefs in person in Olive Gardens anymore? Oh my god! It’s so good. You guys love it? No! I love it! What’s crazy is putting these side by side and now I understand the show. It’s great. Oh my gosh. I love it. Well, there’s a lot of bread in the Olive Garden one. Yeah. Is that what I’m tasting? The ratio to breadcrumb to meat is much higher in the Olive Garden one. The Bucca di Beppo one is like a meatball. I taste meat here, I don’t taste meat over there. You’re tasting like this sausage y kind of snap. It tastes like a breakfast sausage that they would serve at school lunch. So true. And so what that snap is coming from is the salt sitting in that meat and it literally changes the protein structure as the longer salt sits in there. This is five times saltier than Bucca. It is. All of the meats at Olive Garden are so, so salted. So salty. I’d say ten times. And the food’s not. Yeah. These are different, they’re so different. Yeah. I give the edge to Bugha. A hundred percent. I don’t care if it’s big, dense, dry, dumb, it’s America. At least I taste what it is. You’re right, you’re right. At least I know, at least she’s being an honest woman. Exactly, it’s, it’s a meat ball, while over here it’s a bread ball. The Olive Garden is more like a bready, it look, factory, like it was made in a factory. Yeah, man. But like my initial, like my, my like carnal brain was like, Ooh, good, yum, more. Exactly. Which is. We need to fight against that. And I felt that in the beginning, and now I’m like really tasting it. No, no. We can’t allow this to happen any longer. We must be, we must be good women. We must be good women. We must be good women. Buka right now is like, they’re up 3 0, right? There’s no And here’s the thing, it makes sense why they’re bankrupt, because they’re using, I don’t know, real ingredients. So it’s so sad that this one is successful. It’s like bumming me out to realize that reality of like, well, there’s probably 30 percent less meat in this ball, which means it’s Probably gonna be 28 percent cheaper, right? Which means you can open three more franchises. Yes! Like, Pacoima. Oh, and then Ghost Kitchens. Olive Garden’s got the Ghost Kitchens now. Yeah, it’s pretty depressing. Alright, dig into the chicken parm. This, to me, is the, the, the king. Are you a chicken parm girl? Um Oh god, I love that question. Are you a chicken parm girl? Um Hold for two. Um Never been at the top of my list. Right. Um I’m just not, like, I love chicken, I love meat, but I’m always pasta forward. Um, okay, this is a good chicken parm. I feel about chicken parm how I feel about pancakes. You get them for the table. You get a chicken parm, you get a chicken parm for the table! I don’t want to eat old chicken parm. You get You get it, everybody gets the pasta, you get chicken parm You get chicken parm for the table! My brother, um, since I was little, always gets a sandwich for the table. How do you share a sandwich? How do you share a sandwich? I don’t even know, but he always goes, You guys mind if we get a sandwich to the table? And I’m like, it’s not a flatbread, John. What are we gonna do with it? I’ll take a bite out of it? Do you think me and your brother would be friends? 100%. I feel like we would definitely be friends. Does he lift? Um, no. Does he want to learn? No, probably not. He’s super Italian and only wants to complain about food. I think you should only want to just complain about food. Uh, it’s like, it’s pretty bad. You don’t like it? I didn’t like it. Tastes burnt. I think the bottom is burnt. Yeah, the bottom is burnt. Couldn’t really find the chicken, I felt. I did. I was there. I did. I was there. No. I don’t believe you. What?! Well, we’re gonna keep saying it. Do you know their new phrase? No. Go, it’s just go Olive Garden. It’s worse than eat. Go Olive Garden. I’m starting to think all of these places are dropping, like, any type of food references in their things. Have you heard Burger King’s? Whoa. Sorry, almost fell off my chair there during that slurp. Felt like a slip and slide. I’m kidding, I’m kidding, I’m just giving you crap. I didn’t know, I was like, I’m really excited, because, no, because Burger King’s? Not Burger King, but the general idea that we’re post food. Yes! Yeah, yeah. What’s Burger King’s in Spokane? Don’t make fun of me for going to Burger King, because I just brought this up in a squash video, and everyone stopped and went You went to Burger King? We would never judge you. I love their ham and cheese croissant thing when I’m hungover in the morning. A croissant sandwich. So I’m going through and the guy looks at me and I say, One croissant sandwich and a Sprite please. He goes, You got it. You rule. Then I went to the second window, gave my money, was handed a sandwich and he went, You rule. And I was like, that has nothing to do with the product you just handed me. It’s just building me up! The product was never there. The product was all how you feel. You don’t want the croissan’wich because it’s like a croissant and ham. You want it because of the way the croissan’wich makes you feel when you’re hungover. No, they have this crazy ad. It’s the guy who sings, La la la la la la la la la And then says, you rule at the end. Yeah, you’re right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s because of the ads. Taco Bell’s just live mas. That’s Do they say live mas when they give you your That’s basically carpe diem. Like, that’s Like, what are we doing? The same phrase. We’re just actually, like, giving each other, like, Encouragement? And that’s it? Yes! Yes! Our parents couldn’t give us self esteem, But the Burger King Because everyone is so sad. Can! You know? No one Ever Everyone said, you know, Uh, you should go to school and get a job. No, Taco Bell told me You should live mas, man! Live mas! Come on! You’re so right. We were so, I was going to say F again, we’ve been so messed up as a generation. So messed up. We’re post pandemic that people are like, don’t worry about the product. Just keep going. New rule. Right. Okay. I’m falling for it again. I’m falling for it again. This chicken kind of hits for me and I know it’s not chicken. No. It’s post chicken. This is all the saltiest food I’ve ever had in my life. The one I just had is, it’s doing its work to me. Olive Garden. The Olive Garden one is good. I like the Olive Garden one more. I’m sorry. I have such a high salt tolerance. This is taking me out right now, I feel like I’m just gonna Benjamin Button and all the moisture’s gonna leave and I’m gonna shrivel into an old man right now. My fingers are getting fat. This is nuts, dude. Feels like I put moisturizer on my face today, it’s gone. It’s gone. It’s been soaked up by the sun. It’s gone. One bite of this chicken. The size of Olive Garden, it’s like 30 percent bigger, but that’s not because You wanna know why? It’s waterlogged. It’s just waterlogged. It’s because It’s waterlogged?! They are overcooking their noodles. Even if you look at the side by side fettuccines, you can see, it’s not because the noodles are thicker, it’s because they’ve absorbed so much water because their timers are probably from some corporate office and the heat is from somewhere else. Sorry. You two are the smartest people I’ve ever met. They’re waterlogged. You hear that, Becky? You hear that, Becky? They’re smart. It’s waterlogged. Wow. I have such fond memories of the Olive Garden, taking my grandma there, basketball team, you know, my buddy from skimboarding after the better skimboarding teens made fun of us. All of this really bums me out from a sheer taste perspective, right? Like this tastes like microwavable spaghetti, and this tastes like a prefab pre breaded microwavable chicken cutlet. Yeah. But it’s better than the buku one because human error let me speak. The human error Hold on, because I know you’re about to give me a little tirade. A mean tirade. Um. The chicken at Buca di Beppo is dry, it is burnt on the bottom, the noodles are completely flavorless, the sauce is sweet but also acidic, it doesn’t do anything, the factory settings on this one, on the Olive Garden one, is more delicious. The robot cooked better. Yeah, the robot did better. The robot did better on the Olive Garden side, and I’m gonna give this point to Olive Garden. Personally, go ahead and talk amongst yourselves. I’m doing it too. I’m doing it too. I’m going with Olive Garden just because I, I, I tasted something in my bite. This was just nothing. I couldn’t, bucca, it was hard for me. I also, I, I, the bucca sauce never hits for me like Olive Garden’s does. Probably because there’s so much junk and like, I don’t know, like cocaine in Olive Garden’s sauce. Yeah, cocaine rats. Yeah. That should be the name of our band. Cocaine Rats. I’m just stalling for time before I have to admit that Olive Garden is better in this instance. But did you know that one of Olive Garden’s founders names is Gino DeSantis, and he’s from Orlando, Florida? And I can’t find any proof that he’s related to Ron DeSantis. He scrubbed it. But I feel like he probably has to be. How many DeSantis’s are in Orlando. You know, maybe that’s misinformation. Maybe I’m out here being the problem. But anyways, yeah, this Ron DeSantis chicken’s better. Last time I went to Olive Garden, it was my uncle’s birthday, he’s like this, he was this really old man, and he, um, insisted on, uh, his dessert. We brought in a box of donuts for his dessert. And the people at Olive Garden were like, I was like, you guys aren’t really baking anything back there that we can order for dessert. We can bring in donuts Yeah, Olive Garden also is I believe rated the worst restaurant to work at by servers Okay, Debbie Downer. I know no listen. I’m just as I think the food coma is hit, right? I have like most Olive Garden clarity, and I’m looking at all of this with such shame. I’m like Ultimately, we have to decide a winner. Do you two have a final champion? I’m gonna give it to Buka. I think they did a good job. I’m gonna give it to Buka. I think they’re healing. Um, but at least I was fed. Uh, Buka, I hope you can come back from the dead like Lazarus. You rise to nourish us once more. But until then, I’m glad we could give you the send off. Giuseppe’s little hole, you will always have a place in my heart. Love that little hole. Stop the podcast. What? Why? What’s happening? We’re doing something cool. We finally get to tell them? We sure do. We get to tell them all about our first official Mythical Kitchen livestream event. Survive the Mythical Kitchen. AHHHHH! Hahaha, good synchronized scream. Nicole, are you ready to face your Kitcheneer competitors and fight your way through the toughest challenges Mythical Kitchen has ever seen? Trevor, Vee, and Lily won’t know what hit them. They sure won’t. All this goes down live on Thursday, April 3rd and tickets are available now. at mythicalkitchenlive. com Please buy tickets! Seriously, you haven’t seen Mythical Kitchen like this before. Don’t miss out and get your tickets now. mythicalkitchenlive.com What if I type in mythicalkitchenlive. com? What if I told you it’s the same thing? You’re crazy. I like you, but you’re crazy. I don’t like you. You’re crazy. mythicalkitchenlive. com Josh, I think 2025 is a year for personal growth. How do you feel about that? Speak that into existence, sister. Yeah, I mean, like, everyone’s like, Oh, I’m gonna start working out, I’m gonna start eating better. But me, I wanna learn a new language. I think it’s just gonna expand the way that I see the world, and the way that I can communicate with other people. I think it’s really important. Well, how do you plan on learning that new language, Nicole? Rosetta Stone, obviously. Obviously, the thing I love most about Rosetta Stone Listen, I took foreign language in high school. Same. You did. You listening out there probably did. I’m not great in a classroom setting. I need an actual immersive experience, and that’s what Rosetta Stone gets you. You can actually practice as if you were a native speaker. 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That’s drinktrade, T R A D E dot com slash hotdog for 40 percent off your first order. drinktrade. com slash hotdog. Alright, Nicole and Angela, we’ve heard what you and I have to say. Now it’s time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe. It’s time for a little segment we call OPINIONS ARE LIKE CASSEROLES! We didn’t tell you there was a singing section. We sang some things. Yeah, yeah. It was fun. Pretty good singing. Um, before we get into our listeners hot takes, you had a hot take about broccoline. Tell me about your broccolini experience. Barely a hot take, I’d say. But I just, I think it’s just been like, the last year and a half, eating out in L. A., it’s all, exclusively, only broccolini. And I just want to know, um, and I know it’s like, been around forever, like I had broccolini like, For some reason, my grandmother called it Boccoli Rob, Broccoli Rob. So Broccoli Rob is actually not broccolini. It’s, it’s um, like rapini is what they call it. Okay. And there’s actually a weirdly specific reason why it’s called Rob, because it should be spelled with a P. Okay, Rob. Okay. Yeah, right? Right, right. So it’d be Broccoli Rappi. Yeah. That’s what they call it. But Ra*e in English is pronounced very differently. Right. And so the B is actually Southern Italian affectation. Okay. The same reason Capicola becomes Gabagool. So that’s why we call it Broccoli Rob. It’s really funny. Interesting. So yeah, I’ve had broccolini all my life. I just think I’m like, it hit like maybe like the 100th time I paid for like 24 broccolini. That was incredible, don’t get me wrong. But I was like, since when is this the chicest vegetable at these places? So chic. I don’t know why either. I mean, I’d rather just have regular broccoli, right? Same. Fully agree, that was why I called it a hot take, because you said broccolini is infinitely better than broccoli. I disagree. I think it’s infinitely better because these places are making it. Correct. I wonder if this, this same chef at, I don’t even know, like, stinkin like mother wolf, brings out the same thing you did with the broccolini to broccoli, I bet I’d be like, this is awesome, but why is it just only broccolini? It’s just a little bit fancier than broccoli, right? That’s the thing, it’s like, it’s familiar to you, because you know what broccoli is, when they go, oh, it’s not broccoli, it’s broccolini. Brussels sprouts, they had their sexy moment in the sun, it’s still kind of riding out. That’s just a mini little cabbage, right? We pick a new hot girl vegetable, like every couple of years, it was beets for a while, they’re serving it with burrata, especially the candy stripe or Kyoja they love that sexy little beet, right? You had, uh, Brussels sprouts, uh, Romanesco is another one. Artichoke, Jerusalem artichokes. Jerusalem artichoke. Okay, you’re so right. Right. Yeah, and broccolini is the newest one. Hot girl veg. Hot girl veg. Stocks are too big. They try and grill it. They’re undercooked. I’ve never had a properly cooked broccolini stem. Oh yeah. And they don’t absorb sauce. Broccoli, the florets absorb sauce in such a beautiful way. You’re 100 percent right. You’re so right. Broccolini doesn’t absorb. But it’s not like more expensive than broccolini. Oh, it is. It is. Oh, it is, Angela. But I meant like Actually, yeah, a crown of broccoli from like the grocery store, what, 4? A bunch with like three to five stems, like, six, seven, eight dollars? But it’s the marketing that also makes it more expensive. That’s what I’m saying! The sexiness is what’s, yeah. I know what you mean, it’s just like dirt and carbon. Yeah, would like a farmer make it more expensive? Or is it these places that are just like rebranding? Well here’s the thing, if a farmer makes broccolini less expensive, suddenly it becomes less cool, and then you’re gonna have a new vegetable, like uh, white asparagus is gonna come back. Oh my gosh! Nineties! That’s my broccolini take, we should get to some calls. Okay, sorry. Hey, y’all. This is Scott from Falls Church, Virginia. Hi, Scott. And so, um, today, for lunch, I picked myself up some McDagnals. And, uh, I asked for sweet and sour sauce packets. They didn’t give it to me. That’s fine. So, when I got home, I just Made my own condiment, I mixed in hoisin sauce, some tapatio, um, and a french onion dip, like, kind of like a door sauce, and um, it, it wasn’t good, but like, I feel like I was on the brink of something that could have been good, um, so what would y’all have done to make that better? Anyways, uh, much love, I’m a huge fan, keep rockin and um, yeah, that’s about it. Peace! Interesting. Woah! Hoisin Tapatio French Onion Door Sauce. What’s door sauce? Door sauce is the random sauce, this is a great usage of that term, the randomest sauces that you just have in the door of your fridge. The fridge door! Okay. Yeah. It’s door sauce. Okay. Um. Okay. I have, I have, if you want to make a sweet and sour sauce at home, you just need a little bit of soy sauce, ketchup, honey, vinegar. That’s gonna get you 95 percent of the way there. You can mix that, microwave it to, to get the honey, to dilute, that’s perfect sweet and sour sauce. What do you, if you were in that situation, you didn’t get your sauce, what would you go to in your own fridge door? I’d turn back around, I’d go, Hey, but, where’s my sauce? Um, no, in my fridge door, I’d um, I think the same things you just said, um, those three, right? Yeah, what Josh said, I would, I would do, I would do a hoisin. I would thin it out with a little bit of water. I would add a little bit of honey and then a splash of soy sauce. And I would just, and a squirt of sriracha and I’d call it a day. That’s what I would do. That’s what I would do. I think there’s a lot more ketchup in East Asian foods that we like than we think. You’re so right. You know what I mean? But I’m going to forego the ketchup because I have enough sweetness coming from the hoisin and the honey. Fair, fair, fair, fair. Boom. I was gonna, I was, yeah. You were gonna say something? No, you were gonna assault a McDonald’s employee is what you were gonna do. No, I wasn’t going to assault them! Okay, Josh, I was just gonna say we have a misunderstanding here. Yeah. I asked for sauce. Yeah, right. Stand up for yourself. Nothing says I’m not gonna assault you by going. We have a misunderstanding here. She’s standing up for herself. Do you have a problem with that? Yeah, sorry when a woman stands up for what she wants, he freaks you out. If I just leave the room, I can’t get cancelled. Come back, come back. Put your head back. I just walk away slowly. One more, Maggie. One more, two more. Hi, uh, this is, uh, William calling outside of, uh, D. C. area. Um, I’m a little bit hopped up on some pre workouts. Okay, hell yeah! Um, that my fragments of my mind are just all over the place. But my opinion is, um, wine with a meal is a condiment or a sauce, but wine by itself It’s a beverage. Um, and this comes from somebody in the wine industry who’s also WCET certified. So I’m not trying to say that this is a validated opinion, just my opinion. And the best wine and snack food combination is actually Grand Cru Riesling, maybe out of Alsace, and Tteokbokki. All right, thanks so much. Angela, you’re champing at the bit. No, I just, I want to come back on and drink wine. Oh, yeah, let’s do that. I love wine. Okay, we can do that. Okay, now keep going. Oh, me. Okay, one. New creatives, new creatives. I feel like there was a big Alsatian Reasoning marketing campaign for spicy food. Because you go to any Thai restaurant that has any sort of wine program, everyone is slinging Alsatian say, we’ve had Alsatian Reasonings before. Yeah. With spicy food, so. And so that’s the thing, so it makes sense. Because they pair well? Yes. I’m not a big wine snob, so I don’t really know stuff. Okay, especially wine pairing. Me either. I just see it in my future. Um, but. I just drink it. If it’s in front of me, I’ll say, yeah, it’s good, I’ll drink it. But I don’t really care about pairing stuff. But calling it a condiment or a sauce? I don’t love condiments. I think you, I think if you really break it down philosophically, right? Eh. Right? Because, no, I think that’s what they’re talking about. There’s a song. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, so the LaCroix I drank with my Bucca di Beppo, the LaCroix was a condiment? No, because how many LaCroix pairings are you paying like a hundred dollars for, or two pairs specifically with dishes? I mean, give me 15 years and I can make it happen. That’s what I’m saying, though. It has the potential to be a condiment, but is not currently in its form. Where wine, right, what does a condiment do? A condiment is a general, a general wet that accents the taste of your food. That like, kind of brings us all in the same story. Yeah. So you mean to tell me ketchup and red wine are both condiments? Yes. I’m gonna leave now. I’m gonna leave. That’s crazy. Okay, I’m obsessed with the fact that like, it’s such a, it’s such a pairing type of drink that it has a bigger seat at the table than a La Croix or like a soda. I It’s an accompaniment, if that’s the right way to say it, but I don’t, I wouldn’t call it a condiment. It accompanies the meal, but it’s not a condiment. A condiment is something you dip or pour over. It is I don’t No, it is giving like the most wino said this definitely definitely I I don’t mean to be that kind of like edge lord reddit kid, but I I have like upsetting opinions about Wine, especially when he’s talking about like the best pairing is a grand crew alsatian reasoning with topoki You know what’s existed for hundreds of years without? ever meeting fermented European grape juice is Makgeolli? Tteokbokki. Mak But I’m saying like Korean food. And there are tons of Korean liquors. There is tons of soju and makgeolli and Korean beers out there, right? Like, what the hell does fermented European grapes gotta do with, um, you know, Nam Prik in a Thai restaurant? You know, I understand that they’re like great and you’ve, you’ve put thousands of years, right, into the importance of grape wine. And I’m gonna call it grape wine because there’s rice wines out there that are Fantastic, right? Oh, I love me a rice wine. So if we like, gave the same amount of attention to Soju or shochu or or sake producers and certainly in parts of the world and in places there are but I just hate that everything is viewed through the lens of such a like eurocentric drink, wow, right, right can we get down on this sure how many how many specifically Thai restaurants in LA have gotten elevated to such? this like exorbitant status because of just their wine program where is there other spots that Maybe just serve Chong beer and have food that is just as good. Yeah! Can we say that? Can we say that? Can we have an honest conversation? For once! You want to save that for the next pod that you’re on? For once! I got pasta this time, let’s hope I get a sauvignon next time. We can make that happen. Uh, Angelina, Angelina, whatever your name is. Angelina, Jared, Donna, Marie, I walked in here in Angela, I’m leaving in Angelina. Thank you so much, this was an absolute pleasure. You’re a wonderful dining partner. Thanks for having me. Of course. Do you want to tell the people where to, yeah, we should probably do that. Yeah, you can find me at, uh, my, uh, on Instagram, Angela Giovanna Gertana. It’s my middle name. I didn’t Put That did sound more cool, it’s because Angela Ton is taken by some woman in Sicily. Oh. And she won’t give me the handle. I love the idea of a Sicilian grandmother just blocking you on Instagram. I’m like, you don’t need it. No, she doesn’t need it. Uh, if you like listening to this podcast, keep keep it, keep it up. Yeah. If you wanna be that, if you wanna be featured on Opinions or like Castros, hit us up at 8 3 3 Dog Pod one. Please call us. We love to hear you. New audio episodes every Wednesday, new videos every Sunday. Check out the Mythical Kitchen channel, we launch stuff there all the time. Uh, check Angela for, uh, being drunk on Sauvignon Blanc next time. It’s happening, it’s gonna happen, it’s gonna happen. See y’all next time.