Welcome to Good Mythical More. We and the Sporked team are always vigilant for new foods that you can buy and put in your mouth. Are these new foods, or were they made up by our staff? Let’s find out. But first. What can you look forward to? You gotta see the new, uh, documentary Sugar Grannies. Sugar Grannies. Sugar Grannies are rich and, um, ready for love. It’s a dating show where, um, the women have a minimum age. Yep. And a minimum, uh, bank account balance. Yep. And the potential dates. Yep. Have a maximum age of 29. Yeah. So it’s 29, and, but the grannies have to be at least. And a maximum bank account balance of $29. Right. Super desperate. So they need them grannies. Super desperate. They need that sugar! Uh huh, and, uh, but only one of them gets it. And, um, how does, tell them how the granny picks. It’s not, yeah, it’s not a rose, of course. It’s, um, her dentures. Well, she, she takes out her dentures and winks at the one that she likes. Like that’s the favorite part. Sometimes we just watch that part over and over again. Stevie, I’m excited for you to get me excited about the things that Sporked has gotten excited about. Okay. Yeah, these are our new release snacks. I’ll say I buy it. That might be real, or we might have made up. And if they’re real, you get to see a little photo of them, but we don’t have them yet. Oh, we get to see a photo. Taste a photo. Well, cause they’re so new that we don’t have them physically. Well, you know, this is almost like the thing we’re gonna be experiencing is the thing that you experience, which is we just get to see it. We don’t actually get to eat it. Yep. Usually we get to eat it and you this is what it’s gonna be like to feel like you. Huh, huh Mayorata Doritos. Dinamita. Maleracha? Mayo, may, mayoracha, like mayo, sriracha. Mayo, and Sriracha together. Mayo on a Dorito. On a Dorito. I’m saying nope. Now I don’t. Mayoracha is a real thing. Is it? Yeah. It’s just sriracha mayonnaise. But I didn’t know that was a real thing. Uh, I think they did it as a special product. So I’m gonna say yes, and they put it on a Dorito. It’s a little bit weird, though. I will say that. Yeah, I don’t think this works. It’s fake. Yes! Uh, really hard name for a fake one. Guys, thank you. Um, rolled gold. Dill pickle pretzels. Yeah. There’s a lot of dill pickle stuff out there. Dill pickle’s great. The, um, the dill pickle flavored, um, what are those little circular, I think it’s, like, rice cake things from Quaker. I gotta get the recycling out of this. You know, what? It’s about punishment. But at least I don’t have to die. So Quaker Oats has these little rice discs that are pickle flavored. Get those. Can you recycle that? It’s got aluminum in it. Does it have a recycled thing on it? No. I didn’t mean that like as a, like I know the answer to this and I’m just asking you. This has got a lot of juice in it. Yeah, you don’t want that. But technically, it’s real, but you gotta do it like this. So I’m saying that this is real. Real pickle. Dill pickle. Made a mess for myself. I don’t even remember what it was. Dill pickle what? Uh, pretzels. Yes, yes. It’s real, and guess what? Do we have it? You get to see it! Oh, I get to see it, not taste it. Oh, ooh, they’re twisty. Ooh, that would be so good. Do you know what I’m talking about, the Quaker discs? Is this why people like the food episodes? So good. So good. You don’t like us, you like food. Tear here, right there. I would tear it. I would tear it right across there. I would tear that all the way open. I would get the scissors out. Even when it says tear, I’d get the scissors. Yeah, cause you don’t want to risk it going down deep. Like cutting a, cutting a nail. Wow, I’d be, I’d be in a lot of trouble with those. Well, that’s the thing about the, the Quaker discs that I keep trying to get you to respond to is that they’re, you know, it’s like low, low calorie. I found some Quaker discs. It’s just all about taste. I don’t understand what your assignment is. Sorting. Okay, sorting. I think I got everything. I was trying to find for you an image of a recent pickle experience that I had. Intriguing. Stevie recently had a pickle experience. My friends, their one year old, loves pickles. And we went to, um, what’s that? What’s that, Bell’s the one of the delis that we viewed. Oh yeah. Yeah, and they got him a pickle plate and then they took out, this first of all, but the baby’s set up to go anywhere is mind blowing to me, like it’s just there’s a lot going on. But by the time they got him in his like padded chair situation. He then donned a like a full body smock, uh, as if he was like a chemical worker in a factory. And then they slid the pickle plate over and he doesn’t have really like teeth. So he just kind of sucks on the softest part of the pickle repeatedly and then squeezes the pickle juice, you know, in the vicinity of his mouth. Yeah. And um, by the end of that meal, everything was wet. He had pickle juice. Literally everywhere, there’s pickles all over the floor of this busy restaurant. That’s what they do. And I need, I need to find the image for you of, uh, him mid double fisting pickles, because, woo, woo boy. Sounds like he’s not old enough to be taken out yet. Well, you know, it was a fun, entertaining experience. Monster Energy Viking Berry Juice. Viking berry? Mm hmm. I don’t, how could this, what is a, is a vikingberry a type of berry? I don’t think so. I’ve never heard of it. I know a lot about berries. You know what? You don’t know everything. Prove Rhett wrong. I think a vikingberry is a wonderful word. It’s a made up berry. But the juice is real. It’s real and guess what? You get to see it. Vikingberry. Oh, this is, this is monster energy. That’s what he said. When did she say that? When she said, Monster Energy Viking Berry. Oh. Energy juice. So it’s not, Viking Berry is not an actual berry. No, it’s branding. It’s just a made up thing, so I don’t, I don’t even want the point for this one. I don’t like the idea of a Viking Berry. What about a Viking berry? It feels like another word for a dingleberry. Oh. Not a Viking berry. Yeah. Doesn’t it? Cause they wear skirts. Cause you can think about the Vikings on a raid, not worrying about hygiene. Getting some Viking berries. Yeah, y’all, this is a bad idea. Should’ve never made it. Good news. I do think it’s Viking burial. Goodness? Goodness gracious. Good news. Uh, I did find the image. Oh. And we will, oh. Okay, and we will see it in a moment. Before we do, Celsius intergalactic mermaid vibe. Well, I’ve never heard of a mermaid vibe. But I can imagine what it would be. Kinda chill. Goes with the flow. Literally. Um, I don’t like when they make things that aren’t things. It, the bottom half of it tastes like a fish. Like, when it’s just conceptual. Right, it’s, what are we really doing here? You know, like, we’ve run out of, like, I think this is real. We’ve just ruined, like, we’ve just run out of, you know, ideas that actually track to reality. So I say, no, I don’t want this to be real. It’s fake. Ah, you got me, Rhett. Aren’t you so relieved? So relieved. That it’s not real? All right. Maple bacon Pop Tarts. Oh. So they’ve been doing maple bacon donuts. That’s true. I just don’t think this will taste good. And I think it will taste so not good, that they’re not gonna do it. Okay, well, I think they did it, but I agree with you, it’s not good. But I think they did it. The maple bacon donut of it all does give me a little pause. What are you gonna do when you get a little pause? It’s fake! It’s fake! Yes! It’s fake! Alright, so now let’s see where, we’re competitive now, see? Alright. I think Stevie really just wants to see this. Good lord, this freaking, this, this pickle photo. Is it in, um, is it in H E I F form? H E I C? You know when you’re trying to send a photo and it’s in that dot H E I C? That ain’t gonna happen. What is that even about? You gotta convert it to like a JPEG. But why did the camera say, the phone was like, we can’t look at that. Well, most ones you can’t look at it. It’s a lot of computers. Computers can’t look at it, we’re trying to get a computer to look at it. You have to update your computers. Keep your computers updated. For the HEIC. What is that even called? HVAC. HVAC? High Efficiency Intergalactic Codec. Okay. Can we see this, kid? I was saying. Nope, we’re going to the next one. Takis Salado Caliente. So what is Salado? Spicy pickle flavor. Back to pickles here, which would be a perfect time. Yes, spicy pickles. Pickles are so in. It’s the year of the pickle. Takis, yes? That’s fake, unfortunately. Arrgh! But I do have a real image to show you. Okay, okay. There, finally. Oh, my God. What way is up? Is he leaning back? Is he. Now, we will have to, I do want to, the viewers I don’t want to show its, like, face. So we need to, like, you know preferably Microsoft paint it out. He just looks like every other kid. I thought this was a low angle, but he is leaning down. He’s leaning back. That’s the floor, not the ceiling. Double fisting the pickles. All to be a kid. Smock is exactly how I described it. He has a raincoat on. Yeah, it’s a tarp. They put a raincoat on for pickle time. They’re wearing them sleeve tarp here. You know what, we should have raincoats for our parking lot pickle time. Yeah, we should. We should invite this little child. Okay, good. Now I can, now I can really concentrate. Aren’t you, aren’t you so happy? Am I happy? You got all of the, like, little kid that you needed. Did you? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, just, just like a nice short visit. Did you talk to the kid or just talk about the kid? He’s not at talkable phase right now. Yeah. And, you know, I don’t do well. I don’t. What kind of faces does he make? I don’t do well with kids, you know? Mm hmm. Um, he’s in the pickle phase. Um. It’s different when you have your own. You don’t change your voice when you talk to him? No, I, I, I don’t talk, I don’t, I don’t really talk to him. But you do such a good job at talking to your dogs. Just cus they can’t talk to you doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them. Like you change, you change your voice with talking to dogs. I love, I love a dog. Or someone in a coma. You can practice, you can practice with a person in a coma, yes. A well known, a well known North Carolinian technique is if you’re not comfortable talking to babies, you go to someone in a coma. You don’t even have to know them. Right. Well, I don’t understand. Well, it’s a one sided conversation. It’s a one sided conversation. But it’s still a person, you know? You’re still talking to a person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don’t know. I’m so bad at talking to kids. Of many ages, I’m bad talking to kids. Cause you don’t know where that line is of like, to, you don’t want a baby voice, you want to make them feel, you know, like they’re not a baby, but then it’s like, I don’t, I don’t know what the line is, I don’t know what the age is. If you talk to them like an adult and they start tearing up, you’ve made the wrong choice. Yeah. That’s how you know. That’s your experience? Yeah. Uh, Gatorade Aqua Blast. What is that even? Aqua Blast? So like water blast? We don’t need that. There’s no Aqua Blast. It’s real. What? Well, what is it? Why? Aqua Blast. See what we’re doing here? You see what we’re doing here? And you don’t even know what it is. Limited edition flavor. If this is not late stage capitalism, I don’t know what is. If we just, we just got Aqua Blast now. Yep. We’re just reinventing the wheel over and over again, hoping for new bites. I think what they don’t want to say is, it’s the Gatorade version of Baja Blast. Same color. I think that’s what they’re doing there. Yeah, see, you’re thinking too much. I’d buy that. Mm hmm. Well, shoot. Ooh, you’re gonna like this one. French Onion Soup Funions. Okay, well, this is pretty specific. French Onion Soup. So the thing about French Onion Soup is that you have the cheese, which would actually make it really, really good. So I actually think this would be good. But then you would call it cheese, cheesy Funyuns. You’re right. It’s not real. I don’t think this is real because it’s a bit too redundant. Ha ha! Yeah. That’s fake. But again, if you get the Funyuns and you get the cheese balls and then you take the cheese ball and you put it in the middle of the Funyun and you eat that flying saucer? Thank me later. There’s so many little cheesy dips from Trader Joe’s. I realized that. You realized that? Well, I realized that when we had our little friend’s birthday party. You went to Trader Joe’s and bought those? I went to Trader Joe’s and while at Trader Joe’s, I was like, What’s good at Trader Joe’s? I don’t come here a lot. I went to Sporked.com, and I was like, best appetizers. And I just got everything that they suggested. All great picks, but I also, Jesse knows about the dips. Yeah. And we got the cheesy dips and the pimento cheese and the elote. The elote is fun. You can dip anything into that stuff. Yeah. And there’s a caramelized onion dip. Yeah, that too. That was good. Sprite plus tea, Sprite and tea. It’s Sprite and then there’s plus. Sprite E. Yep. Between the two. This makes sense. Um, maybe it’s like an Arnold Palmer almost. A little bit. It’s like a lemon lime tea. It’s like a, it’s not a dirty Sprite. It’s like a clean Sprite. I’m gonna say it’s not real though. I bet you they call it clean Sprite. Just to be different. Sprite Plus. Clean. It’s real. Yeah! Ooh, don’t love the, oh, I think I do love the, the packaging. Sprite Plus tea. What’s there not to love? That’s cool. Okay. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. It kind of looks like a sprite that somebody accidentally thought was a tobacco spit thing. Whoops. Oh, too late now. Okay. I like that though. I like, I like how the tea is just it’s a dark color in a nice font. All caps. I don’t know. This, the design makes me want to try it. Good for y’all. You know what, that could be arranged, Link. Good for y’all. I’m just gonna look at a picture for now, though. Mountain Dew Baja Paloma Punch. Paloma is an alcoholic beverage, is it not? Paloma is a word for pigeon. I thought it meant grapefruit. Oh. Is it? Can’t Paloma mean pigeon? Oh, it’s a grapefruit tequila drink. Grapefruit and tequila is a Paloma, so. So it’s pigeon blood. That’s why I think this is Pigeon blood? Pigeon blood, yeah. I think you’re lying, cause I don’t, I think that’s an alcoholic type thing. I don’t think they would put pigeon blood into a beverage. It’s real, but we don’t have a great image of it. We do have an image of a Sporked article about it. Okay. Yeah. Go over to Sporked if you want to be like Rhett and know what you should buy. Let’s get your nice little reminder. Mount Dubai blast. Cocktail inspired. Interesting. Interesting. We’re interested. There’s a new episode of Roll for Mythicality out now on the Mythical Society. Check it out at rollformythicality. com