AHDIAS 97: Nachos Are A Salad

ramble you got chicken salad egg salad and jello salad so what’s stopping me from calling nachos a tortilla chip salad i am this is a hot dog as a sandwich ketchup is a smoothie yeah i put ice in my cereal so what that makes no sense a hot dog is a sandwich a hot dog is a sandwich welcome to our podcast of hot dogs this sandwich the show where we break down the world’s biggest food debates i’m your host josh sharer and i’m your host nicole inaudible today we’re talking about radical salad anarchism today where do you fall on the radical salad anarchist spectrum real question when do we not talk about that what did you say radical salad anarchy radical salad anarchy i fell into radical salad anarchy tick tock and now we’re here and i support a lot of upsetting political causes i think salad tiktok is incredible side note there actually is there’s like this crazy ass green goddess salad started by melissa baked by melissa she has changed the game with salads she eats salads with tortilla chips did you know that oh i’ve seen that yeah it’s like a cabbage kind of there’s like a cucumber cream dressing yes yes that blends vegetables in it correct and then she puts that onto a tortilla chip which makes it still a salad even though it’s on a tortilla chip yeah yeah so not that way salad no no no no why aren’t you tell me why nachos are not a salad nicole okay give me one good reason i swear one reason and i will capitulate um nachos are not a salad because the ratio of crunchy bits of carbohydrates to the uh lettuce is uh not even on the spectrum of salad so you’re saying that a salad has to have a certain proportion of vegetables it would be nice it would be nice it’s it’s nice i love croutons in my salad i used to just you know fun fact before uh my mom used to not buy chips in the house ever so croutons were like my chips yeah no that was same here we never had candy in the house so i would just take teaspoons of unsweetened cocoa powder and then pour sugar in my mouth and i let my saliva turn it into a paste yeah yeah yeah we both had some weird food habits as well mouth brownies [Laughter] no but side note no nachos are not a salad nachos are their own dish they’re a tortilla chip dish are chile chiles a salad uh no what’s the difference okay but why wait no hold on i i came into this with my own kind of script in my head where i was like i had a four-point process where i was going to flip you into believe that nachos are a salad but now you throw me with the chili chili’s question oh yeah you didn’t expect that did you son for anybody who doesn’t know what chile calis are one they are the greatest uh breakfast brunch especially hungover dish in the history of the world they are fried tortilla chips that are sauced in uh either red or green salsa typically sometimes you can top them with a fried egg um really fantastic but nachos i was prepared to say of course they’re a salad but then chili chilis you’re saucing it it’s hot because nachos can have a fair amount of cold ingredients you ever had a hot salad i’m trying to think are there hot salads because i mentioned radical salad anarchy because nicole uh the term salad if you really go into the etymology of it right um same root as salami right salad and salami salad and salami literally both come from the same no way roman root of just salam eating salt and salad was just like that little salted thing and so it’s literally anything like that salad team yeah no salad is literally in um what’s it salad olivier i mean both persian cuisine and russian cuisine and so like the word salad has literally popped up and damn near every single culture you go to vietnamese restaurant and they say do you want salad with your meal and the salad is typically just green leaf lettuce and so you know in vietnamese restaurants salad just means lettuce but then you have a pasta salad you know macaroni salad in hawaii you’re right and so the term salad pops up so much it literally just is you know this ancient roman dish of chopped meat and herbs and vegetables that’s dressed with salt because that was like the flavoring at the time just saw it yeah probably some gerund probably some ancient fermented tuna blood sauce going in there i do love some garum and so for me i think you get like any mishmash of ingredients that are chopped together and just kind of tossed and incorporated in a way i think that is a salad okay but okay if you say it’s tossing away when have you ever seen a tossed nacho nachos are always talking about okay and while no they can be topped and layered no but that’s that’s not the same thing as we talked about the same things my official statement that salads are tossed i misspoke she’s quoting me out of context it’s recording i yield my time it’s literally reported i will not use my time i don’t think salads need to be tossed when i say thompson i mean that metaphorically nicole is this turning into a sexy podcast what are you no we’re not okay what nicole is referring to is the act of tossing a salad which uh the scientific term is analingus um you can look it up where’s the other link no no no that’s wait oh what did you think i thought it was tossing a salad you thought it was the cunning linguist that is was toss i don’t believe so if anyone um can look that maggie i don’t think legally we’re allowed to ask you to look this up if you don’t feel comfortable if you google it so it’s a podcast about salad and the verbs that go with them it was going to come up what did you think was going to happen oh it’s the butt yeah okay okay so it is um i don’t believe that all salads have to be tossed i think that’s you know a deep conversation and it you know just comes down to like whatever people are comfortable with whether they think nachos are salad yeah i mean no i just there’s nothing about a nacho that resembles a salad speaking of tossing one salad guy fieri guy fieri has trash can nachos nicole uh-huh where are they now those that’s where they belong you want me to say that louder where they belong i think i think you can reasonably consider guy fieri’s trash can nachos to be a salad in what universe there is vegetables on the salad like okay what do you think is endemic to salad hood what does a salad have to have let’s break it down to its component parts uh chopped cold vegetable okay so if they’re whole it’s not a salad you get a yeah the original caesar salad vegetable isn’t a salad next you’re pissing me off i mean no it is okay it either it’s called a golden shower shut up it either needs to be a chopped green thing that is a vegetable or it can be radicchio ridiculous fine ridiculous oh i love a good user well a vegetable a vegetable vegetable but then i mean which definition of vegetable are we going with the one that we’re talking about cucumber is a fruit okay it’s about to eat fruits is it fruit cell not a salad fruit salad is a salad okay yeah but there’s a vegetable in it but you’re saying the fruit modifies that so then a fruit salad is still a salad under the general popular salad umbrella yeah but you don’t think it’s a salad because it’s not a vegetable can you get your story straight guys i don’t blacked out what did he say i literally just blew up i’m in a sugar coma right now nicole’s been eating these little italian rainbow cookies but it’s not a cookie it’s like a snack cake inspired by the cookie it’s just saturated in corn syrup and it is a delight it’s almond extract and corn syrup it’s fantastic nicole i say all these things not not to try and gaslight you or or riley are you sure i’m i mean i don’t know you just said you were gonna do you were just gonna say you were gonna give me a four point process and flip me well yeah that’s not gaslighting that’s just like being encouraging gentlemen no but i say that because i think the word salad has roughly like no meaning right and i think okay because it means so many things to so many different cultures even look at like the midwestern canon of salads like jello salads look at rosie salads yeah i mean that’s just weird though that’s just them being weirdos but it but no we love our midwest audience i love you guys but it’s a little weird shout out to those in duluth minnesota oh my god i just watched fargo the other day uh what’s his name mike yanagida oh i don’t know i’ve never seen cargo you’ve never seen a fart angels have been meaning to watch fargo for three years we’ve only known each other for two we’ve both independently been meaning to watch it it is such a good movie i i can rewatch that any day of the week but the midwestern term salad is still meaningful in a way right if someone says jello salad versus a bowl of jello you understand the difference in a sense intuitively you know it’s gonna be jello and there’s other things in it right okay so if somebody said like a tortilla chip salad what would you think that means that means nachos that means nachos right that’s what i’m saying it’s a salad okay but if you say hey like if you’re at a restaurant and someone goes hey you want a salad and you go yeah i do and then they put a plate of notches in front of you you’re gonna be like i didn’t order a salad and then like this is a tortilla chip salad there are some times nicole when the universe provides for you in a way that is better than you could provide for you and i will tell you nicole i will give you one example nothing like real in life but in terms of the nacho salad dichotomy here um california pizza kitchen big fans both of us big fans i love cpk so much and this whole debate is literally inspired by the barbecue chicken salad that i received during a delivery work lunch one day because so the barbecue chicken salad at california pizza kitchen one of the best salads in the entire sit down restaurant great salad it’s what chopped romaine iceberg black beans corn tomatoes tomatoes oh the jicama on there uh a wedge of lime a thing of ranch and a thing of barbecue sauce a thing and a thing two things two things and then it is top nickel with tortilla strips i got old they were heavy nicole they went heavy on the tortilla strips on the top and if i would have flipped that and tortilla strips of the bed nicole mm-hmm that would have been identical to a plate of nachos do you really think that are you just saying that just to be like uh provocative i do no oh no i look i do think of myself as a provocateur a deliberate iconoclast um but no i i that is literally the inspiration of why i want to talk about this and and sure did i want to order a salad for lunch yeah but i mean it was mostly out of a sense of some sort of obligation we’re always in the kitchen we were eating flamin hot cheetos chili dogs and all that it’s like oh nice salad but they knew that i actually wanted nachos and they gave me a plate of nachos that i could eat with a fork and cover did you ask for extra tortilla strips no hmm i’m telling you the universe provides do you have the receipt sir what oh you’re gonna call me under we actually probably could find that receipt well you’ve ordered it so many times yeah that’s true it’s hard to pinpoint whenever you had the too many tortilla chips i don’t i think you’re lying what do you think i’m lying about what do i say there is no way a cpk employee put as much tortilla strips as you are saying on a salad there’s no way he or she or they took a large handful or two or three or four and put that on top of yourself believe it sister because it happened no you will not deny my lived experience your lived experience is an anomaly and i shall not base a whole entire podcast on your specific experience because your experience isn’t i’ve had that salad like 80 times i ate that salad all the time do you think i’ve ever been like let me flip this over there and it’s like a nutshell never in my damn life but you know what’s really good there what’s that what’s that nicole the tostada pizza hasn’t been on their permanent menu in over three years it was so good it was so good we missed the tostada pizza tell them about cpk please bring back the tostada pizza it’d mean the world yes mr and mrs pizza kitchen california and californio pizza kitchen one word those are their names bring back the toast it was like it was like pizza dough it was refried beans as the sauce refried beans were the sauce cheese i think they might have had beef on there i don’t know and then little pieces of little crunchy bits of lettuce and some tortilla strips on there as well that is a pizza nacho salad and i like that but which one okay so if you’re saying it’s a pizza nacho salad it’s all three what you’re saying is that it is a salad the pizza and the nacho are acting as the modifiers yes but like nacho salad pizza is different from pizza nacho salad okay but have you ever had abbott’s pizza salad yes okay now what that’s just a that’s just literally a pizza that they put like caesar salad on top of yeah yeah yeah and then they slice it but what if i put like tortilla strips underneath it that would be a nacho salad pizza of course nacho pizza salad no that would be enough that’s just that because the pizza is the pizza the pizza is dictating how you eat it right you know which i guess if you look at nachos right because i still believe nachos are a salad but they’re obviously different subsets of salad right josh if i go to taco bell yeah and i say hey do you guys have a salad and then they’re like yes we have the nachos belgrade oh yeah that’s right because um what’s the grill to do no because if you go to taco bell and then you get their actual salad on the menu it’s um what is it it is a giant fried tortilla chip with beef and beans and cheese on it nicole that’s so taco salad so do you mean to tell me that it is complete nachos so is a tostada salad nachos of course how is that we’re talking is that possible how could i even have a conversation with you you don’t believe that the tostada bowl salad it’s it’s a plate of naturally it’s only gonna throw it against the wall that’s what i’m saying there has to be intent you can’t just do it just to do it you can do it i mean [Music] i think we should just take it take a breath take a step back if you were to get a taco cell that often comes in the tostada bowl which as we know was all uh was invented at the casa de fritos by the morales family not elmer doolin bt dubs in case anybody was thinking that no um it was the the talk up right to cup he made his own little mold that’s actually in the smithsonian you mashed the little fritos dough in there that grew into the large fried tostada taco salad that we know and love today i have a tough time arguing that that is not a form of nacho right what’s it what’s what is this sope what is sopes well sophie’s not crispy i think crispiness what is like essential to nacho hood i mean that’s not true because a sope is what if i left it in the fry a little bit longer then i don’t know if you’d be rocking with a sope at that point right okay then what about what’s a tostada what is a tostada that you get at a mexican restaurant is that nachos both nachos and a salad and a in the pizza no way dude you need to no see you are just trying to appease everyone right now and you need to only appease yourself what do you think that says about me like on the larger scale you’re trying to win you’re trying to uh what’s it called shake babies and [  ] yeah which one do you say kiss hands and sh shake babies i thought you weren’t no you are supposed to shake babies you’re not supposed to shake a manhattan you stir in manhattan you shake babies and then use the hair and then the vesper is two parts it’s a split base yeah it’s a split base with a lemon twist what the hell are we talking about oh no i mean honestly i mean if again i’m just going by the restaurant method yeah there is nachos are not in the salad menu they’re not and salads are not in the uh nachos but you’re when you say salads are not in the nacho menu right you’re essentializing what a salad is right so uh if you if they had like salads listed right at a restaurant say a diner you got your cobb salad you got your um ranch though freeze yeah your chef salad chef salad the caesar like chicken salad potato salad jello salad you’re talking about the deli salad you’re talking about the deli salad yeah but like do you think that deli salads are if you mix say i grew up eating ham salad a gold delicacy from my people is it like devil’s ham it is exactly deviled ham uh which is ham blended with mayonnaise and you spread it on a cracker oh my god and that is oh yeah meg’s pulling up pictures of ham salad it looks like uh dog vomit um pinkish dog vomit like your dog got into like a lingenberry bush and vomited up some lingenberry puke and that’s damn salad and yeah you’re in sweden with this dog yeah i guess i guess so but i grew up eating that and it’s at its base it’s ham and mayonnaise i’m sure it’s good what but like why do you have more of a visceral reaction saying that nachos aren’t as salad as opposed to ham salad ham salad is not a salad so you okay so you would you would call up my nana yeah you call auntie barb yeah i don’t care hey oh my god get get through get on the phone maggie i will you you’re doing the hands with auntie barb i’ll say little and cute yeah okay then i’ll just pet her that store growing up and she’s i’ll just say that um no i mean the word i mean i have a definition of a salad and it is what it is and that’s who i am and i’m sticking to my guns [Music] there are few better foods to eat during the summer than a nice juicy grilled piece of chicken or steak or salmon that’s right whether you have a go-to favorite or you like switching up what you’re grilling you can improve your grilling lineup this summer with butcher box the subscription service that delivers a large selection of high quality meat and seafood right to your door now my favorite thing 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hotdog to get one pack of free bacon in every box for the life your membership plus ten dollars off your first order that’s butcherbox.com hotdog and use code hotdog to claim this deal [Music] what is tabouli is taboulia salad i don’t know it’s it’s bulgur it’s a bulgur no tabouli salad is not a thing tabbouleh is tabouli it’s it’s own dish shirazi salad is a salad what about all the sala team at say an israeli restaurant they’re not salads they’re they’re not a team yeah oh interesting banchon is banchon it’s not salads so are you saying that you you are all in favor of culturally fragmenting the meaning of salad like geofence it i don’t believe in globalization of salads you believe in just strict salad segregationism and i’m coming here as a radical salad anarchist exactly how do we how do we work together after this podcast i’m going home and i’m never seeing you again it’s over after this no i mean we just have to we have to compromise josh we need to find a an even ground to sit on you and i we need to talk we need to find our footing i am willing to denounce nachos as a salad only if only if you are willing to eat at least a quart of uh what what’s it called uh ah it’s like pistachio and broccoli yeah no no it’s not ambrosia there’s a worse one there’s snicker salad pretzel salad i gotta look it up is it the one with shredded carrots no no but i grew up eating that one too watergate salad nicole you gotta eat a quart of watergate salad it is uh where are we is it watergate salad goodness you’re putting canned pineapple whipped topping crushed pecans uh mayonnaise and marshmallows sounds absolutely delicious yeah right why do people crap on the midwest for their salads i don’t know i just think they need a general rebranding of name yeah i think if they called it a pudding i think it would have been killer the british have already monopolized the idea that pudding means nothing yeah and i think america should copy that we kind of did that with salad already this is not the proper the salad is not the proper word for these things it’s not i’m sorry midwestern people that i love so much i just don’t think that’s the proper verbiage i don’t like it i don’t like it and i want to change it do you think you should just call it pudding and we should just like adopt the british model yeah but i mean so many of the things that watergate pudding it’s like um you know pretzel pudding we’ve taken like terms from different like cultures that had influence in our in our food ways and then we’ve kind of like flipped them like macaron to macaroon right like for us like growing up in a minute did you eat the kosher for passover manishevitz of course i did yeah those are macaroons but the french have macaron yeah but it literally you know was the same exact preparation and the same exact food until i think it was actually martha washington made like shut up what we we okay so we’ve taken a lot of french words uh etymologically um think you know balone right means balloon in french we just added an o to it really it’s american now you had balloons we got balloons okay the same thing with macaron and macaroon you’re kidding me i’m dead serious and then um someone when coconuts you know we started like annexing tropical territories and all that uh and coconuts started getting imported you know companies that were farming them they would put out recipes and one of them was for coconut and macaroons and then that became you know the dominant how interesting yeah and so we’ve taken like various you know things and flipped them culturally in the american lens uh i think we did that with pudding right let’s we were just like no no pudding doesn’t mean the random dessert and all that but we’re going to take the same thing you had with that and we’re going to put it in salads now salad is the messed up things that we have i know but i think you and i just need to like push to call these foods puddings now yeah puddings that’s our official stance i think he’s got a little heated earlier i’m sorry if i lost my head it’s okay sometimes you and i just have these moments but it’s nice to always come back to square one and realize what this whole podcast is about crapping all over the midwest no that’s a joke listen i’m really sick of all the one stars on apple podcasts at least give him like three yeah you gotta go with the one i’d love to come and stand under the arch or whatever you got down there um or see the rams play oops they went to l.a oh sorry but like butter cake you know is in missouri san luis yeah st loses missouri but there’s another st louis in like tennessee who goes to st louis i’m a kid i was raised in kansas city you were raised in missouri yeah i like from zero to four i was born in maryland then at three months i went to kansas city missouri and lived there until i was four did one year of preschool in casey mo and then came to california kansas city missouri and that’s kc most yeah missouri and st louis eastern missouri and we don’t like them oh okay i’m kidding i really don’t i learned so much about you in this podcast yet again yeah yeah i learned that your views on salad are problematic and i don’t like you for it i am your problematic josh have you ever been to a mexican restaurant have i ever been to a mexican restaurant uh you mean like the taco but no nicole yes i’ve been to several mexican restaurants yeah how would you imagine imag just imagine this you are at a mexican restaurant and you say one nachos please and then they bring you playing on archers and you say hey would you consider nachos a salad sir how could you imagine how they would feel oh so you’re talking about like who has the rights to create categories yeah that’s interesting like do you think the chef back there is like hey one salad no no not at all but i i see what you’re saying um nachos are actually really interesting dish that a lot of people you know say they’re an american invention but they were invented in uh i believe piedras negras and coahuila okay um by a chef named ignacio and so the nacio nacho yeah nacho is literally the it’s the nickname for ignacio do you mean to tell me nacho libre’s first name is ignacio uh yeah yeah that’s incredible yeah yeah that’s that’s the whole thing that’s like guillermo’s nickname memo is the nickname for guillermo yeah there’s a lot of stuff i was talking about spanish friend and there’s a lot of stuff like uh like papa is the nickname for francisco and he’s like well you see in the 1400s there was and i was like dang y’all’s history is crazy uh but no and the origin story of nachos is like the origin story of pretty much any new food right same to the caesar salad of like a group of hungry important people walked in and they went to the chef except nacho was actually the maitre d this legend the chef wasn’t there uh and they were like can you make us food and you didn’t want to disappoint him and so he was like i’ll throw tortillas in the fryer and then top them with whatever we got and hopefully it works out and then it became known as nacho’s special uh and then you know exploded from there and so we we go from you know that to you go to a clippers game um or a uh who’s this basketball team oh they don’t rapture that sucks oh um i don’t know anything about sports st louis raptors who are the raptors toronto they’re yeah i was pointing up canada canadian raptors but no and then you’re getting like you know you got ballpark nachos now so like yeah could i consider ballpark nachos a salad no no no no they’re still not drinking no also you eat salad with a fork and spoon you eat nachos always okay wait also you say fork and spoon what do people do i eat everything fork fork spoon sometimes knife yeah it’s fair yeah yeah and nachos are exclusively hand food hand food i agree with that but i think some salad should be hand foods like what uh caesar caesar salad’s gonna happen there is no way in hell you’re eating i ate a sausage with your hands saturday night i ate a caesar salad with my hands because it was was that what the chef intended are you just being a trash panda in public probably being a trash panda be honest but they served it was bone-in it was a bone-in caesar so it was it was a little gem head that had been bifurcated and then the core was left on the core was not dressed so i could just pick up the clean salad core and eat the salad and then drop the salad bone on the plate the only way you can do that is with an endive cup oh yeah an endive yeah that’s the only way i think one common thing we can agree on is that hand salad should be more popular yeah let’s make it up you know lettuce wrap that’s what we’re saying we i like lettuce wraps i love lettuce wraps are lettuce wraps a salad [Music] all right nicole we’ve heard what you and i have to say now it’s time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the twitter verse it’s time for a segment we call opinions are like casa rolls [Music] really made a meal out of that one huh and hey if you like opinions about food check out sports.com that is mythical’s new website complete with an entire team of personalities we just call them friends yeah we have people like justine and jordan and nadia and danny and that’s forgot everyone oh anyways uh sorry i forget things i forget my own name sometimes they are taste testing all of the grocery store items out there you can imagine from canned tuna to cottage cheese we’ve done some taste tests with them they did it so you don’t have to spork.com.edu.gov um all right nicole first up who do we got we got at it’s jesse bernard cold leftovers with my bare hands over a running sink what a weird way to structure a sentence no no i completely get it this one like speeds to my whole like there’s no ver there’s no like subject or verb really yeah uh yeah literally no subjective verb but i get it you know cold leftovers with my bare hands over running sync that kind of defines my life i i do this often yeah same because then the sink’s already running so you don’t have to get the faucet handle dirty yeah cause your hands are soaked in like cold meatballs do you use your thumb to push in the food ever yes i um learn to eat with my hands from one uh mr ramesh nayak deep stud this is deepsea yeah but you know it’s the way you eat the like roti and sub g yeah yeah yeah yeah you like you know take the roti the the delicious wheat flatbread and you scoop up the stew and then you push it in your mouth with your thumb yeah uh and i eat damn near everything like that cold spaghetti and meatballs out of the fridge it’s using the thumb as a lever to push it in the mouth great do you have more self-respect than that not really um anastasia xet says green apples with milk or any dairy product is a top tier combination um this instantly triggers like a sour feeling in the back of my like my like ears but then the milk comes in and saves you yeah um i think if it was a baked apple that’d be all about it ugh love me good hot apple yeah hot apple but like just biting into a green granny smith like i don’t eat granny smith’s raw i don’t know i do i like i love a green apple it’s too tough oh that sounds like a you bro are you sorry little baby needs heart or teeth no no no no that’s gross i feel awful that we just did that questionable questionable downhiller question able to hillary more people need to pair hot sauce like they would pair wine good this is a good opinion your downhill skills might be questionable but your opinions are not too many people out here willy-nilly with their hot saucing yeah your hot sauce thing needs to be intentional intentionality and hot saucing like um i was just like habanero with seafood come on man you can’t make smacks again with continental we’re both big louis guzman fans that was luis guzman from waiting yeah louise guzman has a has a movie called louis guzman kick me in the face really or punch me in the face we should have him on the podcast we love louis guzman um but yeah no there’s certain hot sauces that don’t pair well with other things like yeah it’s weird for uh whatever reason putting any hot sauce that isn’t sriracha or um the same brand hoifung foods also makes a uh sambal oh i love that and those are the only two hot sauces that can go on like a panda express or any american chinese food for me anything else doesn’t taste right ditto with putting any real hot sauce on taco bell it doesn’t taste right there’s gotta be intention right on uh not pikas says using the end of donkeys as a shovel to carve out banana flesh is a great snack this is giving me school school lunch energy yeah that’s what it’s all about this is like you have a lot of pent up adhd and your creativity getting stimulated in the classroom yeah and so you see like banana flesh takis got to do something with all this sort of pent-up energy and then you do that um sounds like it would work as a flavor combo yeah i’m all about it no i love that great opinion good stuff today good yeah i’m loving it this is the kind of stream of consciousness i’m into yeah this is weird here ethan.cal i microwave cold apple juice so there’s a top layer of warmth and a cold layer at the bottom oh interesting this is either a person who doesn’t know what they want in life or they know exactly what they wanted bingo you know let me tell you what this is about um this kind of food preparation just screams salmonella to me or like illness foodborne illness we’re trained as chefs because nicole i trained properly at the culinary school of hard knocks uh yeah you’re like trained to not want anything room temp right that’s like the danger zone of bacterial growth so this is like yeah there’s something about this that like it’s like oh if i drink the hot and i drink the cold it’ll make uh equal in my stomach but no like this just screams like foodborne illness to me i can’t hot cider is good cold apple juice is good there’s no food there’s no foodborne illness risk and apple juice i say if somebody dies and sues us yes someone’s gonna yeah not true um booked and boozy says flamin hot cheetos dipped in mustard oh it’s a doozy that’s a lie it’s a doozy kraft mac and cheese with sriracha ketchup both of these are great the hot cheetos and mustard feels like wasabi in my throat that’s that’s a lot of flavors that’s a lot of acid that’s a lot of flavors in your mouth and if you can handle that if you can ride the lightning and harness that you survival of the fittest you’re unstoppable yeah yeah my god yeah you need to replicate your genes and have a lot of babies so they can be the same uh yeah craft mac and cheese and sriracha ketchup that’s actually my ideal topping for craft machine cheese mac and cheese that sounds so good right now also eggs sriracha ketchup and fries too oh i’ve never had sriracha ketchup while i make my own sriracha ketchup well no same same same yeah three parts ketchup one part sriracha oh i do have half you are more of a man you are a monster the show is a toxic masculinity problem and it’s you um i hope that’s not true uh at cc change name so most of the times we just guess uh sometimes when i really want a sweet snack i’ll pour a couple bottles of dr pepper into a saucepan and warm it up and mix in a bag of hot cocoa powder it’s tasty when kept warm hot cocoa and hot dr pepper hey i’m into it hot doctor pepper is a thing that’s like a thing that people drink i don’t know if it’s a texas thing i remember my dad saying you used to drink it in montana for whatever reason oh your dad was in montana one time yeah he was stationed there in the air force i’m watching yellowstone right now and i’m really into montana oh my god america’s icebox oh my god if my dad was alive he would have loved to talk about the show yellowstone uh i got to work a dead parent into the podcast that was a show or else i don’t feel right uh the acid of the dr pepper oh the cherry the cherry is definitely cherry and dr pepper we’ve talked about the flavor of dr pepper on the bottom yes i don’t know what it is 100 that’s gonna be nice with the cocoa i like cherry and chocolate this sounds really good i mean i’m all about it there’s like one i love pilk what’s that what even what’s pilk it’s pepsi milk it’s pepsi mixed with milk pilk what i love pilk um it’s a drink look it up is it a real is is it a real book is it a real drink yeah hilk pilk look at pilk ew oh my god you have you drink this why is it pepsi i don’t know why it was almost pepsi why is it pepsi not coke i don’t know what to tell you we did my grandma drank pepsi and she would pour me pilk and shut me up the poop could shut me up anyways i’m saying there’s dairy fat solids in the swiss miss cocoa powder add that to the hot dr pepper you’re basically making a hot pilk i need you to never say the words hot pilk at me ever again i actually have a vanity plate that just says hot pilk on the certified pre-owned 2017 nissan altima yeah that could make that could fit if all it fits because anyone was wondering if he’s lying or not um randall hadas says i don’t like krispy kreme donuts they’re overrated you’re overrated and let me finish i’d rather get my donuts somewhere where they aren’t so freaked freakishly uniform also with the slight crunch around the surface of the donut that you actually do not want to get in a krispy kreme i know no one else who feels the same krispy kreme donuts are dank they krispy kreme donuts are probably better than every artisanal donut yeah that i’ve ever and i oh i’ve had them all i’ve gone up to portland and eating them me too and i would rather have a krispy kreme or voodoo yeah voodoo’s not i mean they’re blue star blue star does good stuff sidecar they do good stuff but they’re dough it’s it’s never like that melt-in-the-mouth tenderness that you get when chris became if you’re looking for a different you know quality in your donut that i’m not looking for that is absolutely fine but i don’t think you can generalize to say they’re overrated i think they make one of the best products of any fast food restaurant out there i think krispy kreme does good job me too duncan’s overrated duncan’s all right yeah sure i mean i came here and we were all like oh duncan and then like nobody carrying them this is interesting at [  ] titch not eating the pizza crusts isn’t childish when the edge crust is good i eat it and when it’s not i don’t i’m a grown man and i don’t need your judgment ashley who’s ashley ashley’s judging him i’m sorry hey ashley stop judging him he doesn’t need it i i eat my pizza crust because i’m a big girl i’m a girl i’m a pizza i’m not thinking about this i do eat all my pizza crusts um but i won’t eat the bread heels i don’t eat the bread heels the end of the end piece of the bread i will i will use it for something i don’t like your privilege initially i will i will use it i know i dehydrate my own bread crumbs i’ll throw it in just thicken us i’ll thicken sauce with it i’ll do something but i will not eat it plain i love bread butter no no going to school with a bread butt sandwich no you never eat it in [ __ ] no you eat it in your house with shame oh actually that’s a good idea you wrap like an old banana in the bread yeah that’s what i do with it yeah obvi you gotta microwave it you gotta wet a paper towel do that you love wetting paper towels and putting some sort of carbohydrate in them i don’t do that what do you mean what do you cook rice you put a handful of white rice in a wet paper towel you michael it for 30 minutes and the fire department comes and then you have rice uh okay last one last one last one shaija foley says the best possible combination from auntie annie’s pretzels is there sour cream and onion pretzel with caramel dipping sauce um do you know how we talk about how some things taste like vomit yeah this is one of those this is one of those things that that tastes like this is true yeah what this is throw up oh gotcha gotcha yellow booger yeah wait i really do today some days sometimes some days you see like an nba player and everything they’re shooting is going in you know and then some days it’s just like man they’re really throwing up breaks i threw the bucket in trash i feel like mentally it’s one of those days where it’s like clanging off the rims that’s fine you know you got buggers going down um wearing a black shirt there’s probably dandruff on it it’s okay we all have those days i have them too i like auntie anne’s pretzels [Laughter] i like wetzel’s pretzels oh well you suck nicola uh anyways thank you so much for stopping by the podcast that we do and on that note thank you for listening to a hot dog as a sandwich if you want to hear more from us here in the mythical kitchen we got new episodes for you every wednesday if you want to be featured on opinions or like casseroles you can hit us up on twitter at mythicalchef or at handyzone with the hashtag opinion casserole and for more mythical kitchen check us out on youtube where we launch new videos every week you’re so funny and of course if you want to share pictures of your dishes hit us up on instagram at mythical kitchen what did i even say it just art you just are funny today we’re losing it folks we’ll see you next time [Music]

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