Previously on Buddy System: The guys joined rival skating gangs. -Roller-turders. -Turd-rollers. A line of little turds… -(sizzling) -(groaning) And Aimee continues to ruin their channel… AIMEE: The Sacripet. …and ruin their reputations. Rhett and Link have hit a new low. You should be ashamed of yourselves. We’re losing subscribers. -So they call her… -What do you want from us, Aimee? For the two of you guys to come meet me at my office. -So they’ve got a… -Midnight. -Midnight? -…meeting, but first, they gotta check out an amazing… -Magic. -Magic? Actual magic. -…show. Enjoy. -Yes! ♪ ♪ I don’t remember Maxwell being into magic in high school. Me, neither. Uh, that’s too close. You’re gonna block people’s view. Okay. We can sit in the back. No, that’s gonna be too far. I want to be able to experience the magic. We can sit wherever you want to. You pick. Right here. It’s just right. Chicos. You like magic, huh? I knew you did. Of course you do. (whispering): Psst! Guys, come here. (Maxwell chuckling) -Hey, man. -Yeah. How you doing? -Good. -Thank you guys so much for coming. -Yeah. -Of course. -I need a favor. -Okay. -All right. All right, so towards the end of my act, I’m going to ask for volunteers, and I really need you guys to do it. -Okay, yeah, we can do that. -Yeah. Sweet. Stakes are high tonight. Come here, let me show you something. You see that magician out there? LINK: Huh. You sure that’s not a vampire? (wings fluttering) That is the vice chairman of the Magic Association of the Americas. -Oh. -Americas? Yeah. All of them. Even the secret one. And tonight’s show is my final, so if I pass, I become an officially licensed magician. Oh, cool. So, what does that let you do? I’ll be able to legally do magic in Guam. -Guamanians love magic. -RHETT: Okay, sure. We can help, but listen. We need a favor in return. Oh, yeah. What… what is it? We’re meeting Aimee tonight at midnight. Ooh. That’s late. I mean, but traffic will be a breeze. Yeah, and we need you to be our backup ’cause we’re gonna try to get my phone back from her. Yeah, I’ll do anything for you guys. -Thanks, man. -Oh, yeah. All right, I gotta get started. But just remember– tonight’s show is real magic. Don’t be afraid. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Thank you all for coming out. I do not intend to alarm you, but I will not be doing any tricks. Tonight, I will be doing real magic. You will search for another explanation. No, I am not possessed by a demonic force. I am not from the future. I am not on a superfood diet. I am simply doing real actual magic. Enjoy. Whoo! These two metal rings are solid all the way through. There’s no way that they should be able to do… this! Now, I know this is the type of thing that a trickster will say, but I actually mean it. There is no sleight of hand or chicanery. Molecules are simply… (whispering): Does he actually think he’s doing magic? I don’t know. …to pass through. (blows, chuckles) Thank you. -Whoo! -Thank you. I know what you’re thinking. This is not great. “Oh, he’s going to pour that water into that metal pitcher, “and then he’s going to turn the pitcher upside down, revealing that there is no water.” -Wow. -But here’s the thing. The water is gone. There is no water. It no longer exists because of magic. I made this happen. Y’all don’t believe me. (sparse applause) For my final act, I will be needing two volunteers. Uh… anybody, anybody, anybod… Eh… Ah. You two gentlemen, please join me onstage. ♪ ♪ (chuckles) Now, have I ever met you two before? -Yeah. -No. -No. -No. -No? I’ve never met them before. Now, does anyone want to see me turn these two male strangers into a woman? Hell yeah, we do! Whoo, whoo! Yeah! (Maxwell grunting) (grunts) (grunts) (grunting) Now, sir, please get in the box. Don’t worry. It’s totally safe. One size fits all. (chuckles) Okay. Will you join your friend in the box? Of course, I don’t know if he’s your friend or not. I just saw two strangers sitting together. So please join the other strange man in the box, sir. It’s fine. You should probably flip over. Good idea. (groans) (Rhett grunting) Okay, when the back door opens, I need you to roll down the ramp, but make sure you get out quickly so I can materialize the woman. -Materialize? -A woman? Well, technically, she’s a soulless, immortal being, but she’ll take the form of a prototypical magician’s assistant. There’s nothing to worry about. -Prepare to be amazed! -What? (Maxwell grunts) Oh, boy. (grunts) Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. The magic is real. I’m freaking out. What was once two male strangers is now one woman! There it is! Whoo! Man! Oh, she twirls. Just… twirl again. Bravo! So, you created her? I conjured her. What’s her name? Oh, I prefer not to name her. That way, I don’t get too attached. You know, I gotta make her disappear next week, so… (grunts) Does she talk? Ask her. Do you talk? (screeches) (chuckles) Still working on that. Haven’t completely mastered it, but it’s getting more voice-like every time. -Why’d you make her… -A woman? Good question. I conjured her up in this form– a petite woman in stereotypically sexualized clothing– as a physical manifestation of society’s traditional expectation of a magician’s assistant role. I use it as a test to see if people in the audience are sexist, and you, my friend, passed. Oh. I was just gonna ask you why you made her white. Black women don’t do magic. Maxwell. Oh, Mr. Chairman. Thank you for that… unique show. Unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Thank you. Thank you, Chairman. And you, my lady, fulfilled your role perfectly. This has been a very difficult decision, Maxwell, but after much personal deliberation… -…congratulations. -(Maxwell gasps) I passed? I passed! -Thank you. -Congrats, man. -You did it. -Thank you, Chairman. -It’s my pleasure. The people of Guam will be most excited to hear it. Well, I’m off to drink blood. Uh, not human blood. I mean pig’s blood. Well, not pig’s blood. Juice. Pig’s juice. Not juice; uh… the juice of the blood orange. Not the blood orange, per se. The orange. Juice of the orange. I’m off to drink orange juice in my ancient castle. Not castle. Uh, house. In my ancient house. Well, not ancient so much as Middle Ages. Not Middle Ages; more mid-century modern. In my mid-century modern house in Transylva… cation. Transylvacation, Massachusetts. Yes, that’s where it is. Don’t be embarrassed if you haven’t heard of it. You all should visit. But not during the daytime. I bid you adieu. So I guess he’s not a vampire. (coughing) (thudding) Whoa-ho! Whoa… You guys are still here? Wait, you know them? I mean, I-I don’t… Totally. These muchachos changed my life. Dylan. (chuckles) Maxwell. And this is my assistant. Yes, indeed. You were incredible tonight. I would have liked to have seen more of you. Wow, I like your energy. It’s a quiet energy. Purple. Well, any time you’d like to connect, I can be found at the snack bar at the bowling alley on Market Street. Working there, not… not eating there. But I do get a 20% discount on all food items, which I would gladly extend to you. Just remember to wash your hands between bowling and snacking. Scientists have found every bodily fluid inside the balls. Bowling balls. Fellas, it’s been real. (makes whipping sounds) I’m outie 5,000. (clicks tongue) See you. We don’t really know him. MAXWELL: Oh, you guys were in an accident? LINK: Oh, no. Rhett just dinged a guy’s door. You gotta see the other guy’s car. (laughs) Ah, a ding-off. Who defecated in the car? -Who do you think? -Ah, nice! (laughs) Thanks for doing this, man. Ah, of course. I am empathetic to your cause. Y’all can’t let Aimee ruin what you built. Yeah. You’re right. -Yeah, but first you gotta take a power nap. -Power nap? Yeah, 20-minute nap has been shown to increase vigor and cognitive performance for up to 125 minutes. That’s why I take a power nap before I do anything important. A power nap gives you… ♪ Power ♪ ♪ Give 20 minutes now, get power for hours ♪ ♪ You don’t put on your pants before you put on your drawers ♪ ♪ You don’t wash your face after you wash your balls ♪ ♪ You don’t wash Phantom Menace before Empire Strike Back ♪ ♪ And you don’t do important crap ♪ ♪ Without taking a power nap ♪ ♪ If you gotta do important crap ♪ ♪ Then you better take a power nap first ♪ ♪ You want to know where the power’s at? ♪ ♪ It’s in the middle of a power nap ♪ ♪ Word ♪ ♪ You don’t go seek before everybody hides ♪ ♪ Or slide through a sliding door before you made it slide ♪ ♪ You don’t eat your grapes ♪ ♪ Before you’re through the checkout ♪ ♪ I did that once and got banned from Ralphs ♪ ♪ You don’t read Stephen King before R.L. Stine ♪ ♪ You don’t pump the pump before the pump is primed ♪ ♪ I don’t slip on my mankini before my bikini wax ♪ ♪ And I don’t do important crap without taking a power nap ♪ ♪ If you gotta do important crap ♪ ♪ Then you better take a power nap first ♪ ♪ You want to know where the power’s at? ♪ ♪ It’s in the middle of a power nap, word ♪ ♪ You don’t offer to pay before you’ve seen the check ♪ ♪ You don’t tattoo your face before you tattoo your neck ♪ ♪ You don’t send a text, then check for autocorrect ♪ ♪ I once sent my mom a text that just said “sex” ♪ ♪ You don’t taste the honey before you smoke the bees ♪ ♪ You don’t get in the car before you cut the cheese ♪ ♪ You don’t talk to Santa before you sit on his lap ♪ ♪ And you don’t do important crap ♪ ♪ Without taking a power nap ♪ -♪ Power ♪ -♪ Power ♪ -♪ Power ♪ -(screeches) -♪ Power ♪ -♪ Power ♪ -♪ Power ♪ -(screeches) -♪ Power ♪ -♪ Power ♪ -♪ Power ♪ -(screeches) -♪ Power ♪ -♪ Power. ♪ -♪ Power. ♪ (cell phone ringing) (cell phone continues ringing) (grunts) -It’s Aimee. -We slept through the meeting. Oh, it’s recommended that you set an alarm before you take a power nap. Forgot that part. Should I answer? Uh… yeah. Hello, Aimee. I didn’t think you’d have any trouble with parking. Oh, sorry. Uh, we were power-nap… -Navigating. Power-navigating. -(imitates rumbling engine) And we’re on our way. Okay, Lewis and Clark. Navigate your way on over here. The video is all set up, and I’m ready to talk. Wait. What? Oh, didn’t I already…? Oh, geez. I guess I forgot. I didn’t want to do this over the phone, but… I mean, now that it’s out there, we might as well talk about it. Yeah. Let’s talk about that. It also sounds like you guys are on speaker, which I don’t love. I could take it off speaker, and then you could just tell me and I’ll relay it to Link. That would be a literal game of telephone, which may lead to mistakes. I’ll just tell you. -Okay? -Okay. Okay, if you must know, you guys are gonna make a video saying that you are officially handing Good Mythical Morning over to me. Aimee, that’s not gonna happen. Oh, I think it is gonna happen. Because, if you don’t, I’m gonna make a little video of my own, telling everyone your guys’s secret. -You wouldn’t. -And I won’t if you relinquish your channel over to me. -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. -“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa…” We… we need some time to process this. I got a hard out at 1:00 a.m. At least give us the weekend. You got 24 hours. Or call in the next 15 minutes and… And what? Sorry. I just… that was an old habit. Okay. Y’all got a secret? Oh. Yeah. (indistinct whispering) (laughing) Damn! -Wait. And the zoo didn’t press charges? -No. But we’re not allowed on Japanese soil. So we’ve got 24 hours to either give up our show or give up our secret. I think we should do what we normally do when we gotta make a difficult decision. Power nap. No. -Soul-search. -Soul-search. Oh, yeah, soul-search. That’s… that’s a good one. I like that– soul-search. Got it.