[Music] [Music] This is Dispatches from Myrtle Beach with Charles Neil and my son Link from Good Mythical Morning. How you doing, son? Doing pretty good. I’m a little sleepy. I’m a little bit sleepy. Yeah, it’s still early over here on my coast. Yeah. Yeah. It’s It’s lunchtime here. Yeah. You’re fully awake, but you usually uh you usually get up pretty early anyway cuz uh you know 6 a.m. Yeah, I I I hear that. You know, you and I can do some strange things. What? And and you know, I hear that when you get up every day, when you carry your two dogs out to walk, you do something with them. Is there anything to that? Well, first of all, the way that you’re asking I think I know what you’ve heard about, but yeah, little way you’re asking this question is that every morning do I do something with my dogs? Well, every morning I do take the dogs for a walk. And I’ll tell you one thing I don’t do usually is um take a whiz when the dogs take a whiz. I don’t do that on a walk. I rarely if ever do that. Oh, come on now, Link. I I mean I don’t I don’t uh What have you heard? I think you I think you may be fudging on that a little bit. What have you heard from the little birdie? I I have heard from this little bird that when your dogs take a whiz, you take a whis. Well, Dad, what you’re referring to, I know, is a confession that I made on Good Mythical Moore amongst friends, you know. Yeah. I got Rhett there, I got Stevie there. I’m just And then we’re all friends just watching and then all of a sudden this turns into some sort of ratting ratting me out to you. So on this other venue of dispatches from Myrtle Beach, now I got to defend myself again. I already had to defend myself over there. But let me clarify, Dad. This is not on the morning walk. Usually, um, this is an evening habit when I take the dogs out before I go to bed. So, like 9:00, last time the dogs go out. Yes. Sometimes when I’m out there, I might take up whiz when they’re taking a whiz because when they want to take a whiz and they’re at the door waiting to go out to whiz, there’s no there’s no waiting. If I need to whiz and I prioritize myself, you know what they’re going to do? They’re going to mark the house because Jasper has some sort of problem where he cannot resist peeing in the house. I don’t it I think it’s cuz we didn’t get him fixed until too late. There was some medical okay thing that delayed that. And apparently that’s my problem too cuz we like to whiz together dad of an evening. Cuz if I take them out and they’re over there whizzing, I’m like, man, I got to go too. And and then I’m just like, well, why can’t I go out here? This is my own yard. This is a nice little private area. We got all this gravel over here. It is It just soaks it up like a sponge. I just might as well, you know, I’m just standing here doing nothing except trying not to pee my pants. Why don’t I pee out here, too? And so, I did that. And then I found that there was lots of opportunities for me to do that. Pretty much every time they did it, if I pee at the same time they pee, then I don’t have to pee at another time. You just go on in and go to bed too. Then I just go on and go to bed too. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. So you got So beside I’m gonna get everybody straight on this. You’re doing this kind of in in the confines behind a fence at your backyard. Yeah. The sideyard. Nobody can see it over there. I don’t think. And so that’s in private. So that that this not this ain’t any difference where you’ve got me and you both peeing in the shower. That’s right. See, I knew you’d be on my side. Yeah. Once you heard Oh, yeah. I ain’t got no problem with it. I mean, full story. So, you know, if you want to pay when you pay, I need to get you talking to Stevie and Rep because they What? Hey, what did you say? They didn’t they didn’t grow up out in the country where you when you especially when you’re a man, you just pull it out and pee. Exact. Exactly. That’s what I was trying to tell him. When you spend time in the country like I did, every place is a urinal. Just get behind this tree. Just get behind that rock, open your uh truck door, and then you’re in you’re in between your truck and your truck door. I mean, I I learned lots of good things from you about where to pee, how to pee over things. And now, so there’s not as much splatter. When you like the truck I got, you got two doors. So, you can open the back door and the front door and just stand in between them whether you whether if you’re right beside the highway or not. And you can just pee all you want to. They can’t nobody see you cuz I I’m I’m I’m on your side cuz your dad has done that too. So you just pull you got a pee, you just pull over on the side of the road, open both doors and then you’ve created a stall. You could correct. I mean, if you created a stall there, I don’t know why you can’t just do number two on the side of the road. you you might been a time or two that I might have. But then I usually walk around the other side of the truck and up the two doors up where you know I ain’t right beside the road over there. But so if you’re doing number two, you do it on the other side of the truck. But if you’re doing number one, you just pull over and you just you’re right there. Just your back is the traffic. Well, yeah, of course your back’s traffic. You wouldn’t want your front to be the traffic, but I’m saying the one thing you do have to be careful for is if you uh if you if you’re peeing if you’ve opened both doors to your truck and then you’re peeing right there, if you start looking around, getting interested in something, if it raises up a little bit, you might be dousing your your floor mat. Oh, no. I ain’t going to do it. I’m far enough away. I kind of turn to the side. I’m not peeing inside the truck. No, by accident ever. By accident or nothing else. You see, I I would have been so shocked if you weren’t supporting me in this. You’re out. I mean, oh, yeah. The the outdoors is a man’s latrine. That would be correct. I think it’s the best thing about being a man. You can just whoop it out and just just just go for it. Now, um you know, women have these devices where they can like pee while camping or stuff like that. So, they can they can get like some specialized cup of some sort that’ll help them pee in places where boy, you know more about this than I do. Yeah. And it’s because because women want in on this and welcome to the party, ladies. Just pop a squat and do what you need to do. That’s how I feel about it. If your dog’s out there doing something, just pop a squat. Especially if it’s in your own yard. Well, I mean, hey, I we’d stop some places and I had to stop and I Nancy had to pee and she go out in the woods a little bit and just go. Of course, I keep some toilet paper and stuff in the truck. So you do, you know, and you just So you pull over on the side of the road and then you hand her the toilet paper and just tell her to go just go out into them woods. Well, that’s what she tells me cuz she says, “I got to pee.” Just like me. When I got to pee, I got to pee. And you don’t wait to get to like a gas station, you just go into the woods. If you’re all out in the country and see going through the woods and ain’t nowhere to stop and you got to go. You got to stop just like we do. We got to stop and you got to go. say, “Yeah, I I think it I mean I was going to say I think it needs to happen more often, but if I’m on the interstate and I look over there and I see somebody pulled over and they’re just standing there looking at the scenery, I’m assuming that they’re peeing. Why else would that would be my assumption, right? And more power to them. I don’t think they deserve any type of like public indecency, public urination. I don’t think should be a crime. It just if you’re you just got to face the right way. Oh, I reckon so. As long as you’re facing a way, I think it just needs to, you know, in Amsterdam they got you can just you’re walking down the street and all of a sudden you look over there and there’s four urinals facing each other and they’re only like shoulder height and you’re just like your head’s just out in the wind and you’re peeing in public. I’m fascinated with this. The way that they have these. Yeah, I’ve been over there. Yep. Yeah, I remember that. And you just Okay. It’s just It’s just something we all agree to, you know. Something we all agree about. So, if you’re coming next time you come to my house and you walking out by those trash cans, don’t walk. That’s a good place to pee. Don’t Yeah. Don’t walk on the gravel. Okay. Barefooted. Don’t walk on the gravel. Barefooted. Yeah. But I’m not pinging on anything that anybody touches. And as far as I can tell, it doesn’t impact the dogs. I I thought it might encourage them to go more, but they go enough already. So, I really can’t tell if they’re wanting to go more because they go all they’re going to go anyway. So, I don’t really know how to learn. And I do I have seen them kind of sniff my marking, but they seem unbothered by it because every time I take them out, Jasper will pee immediately. Jade takes forever. I don’t know what she’s looking for. Turn in circles. Ser she’s like doing some sort of survey of the land every time she goes out there. It’s like a you know, she’s got a ritual. She got some I don’t know what she’s looking for. Dad, she’s looking for something. Sniffing for something. The perfect spot. You’ve been out there a million times. What? Why are you being so choosy? And Jasper’s just waiting and waiting, waiting. And I’m just waiting, waiting, waiting. And I used to be holding my pee, holding my pee until I found a better path. So now I’m not waiting on her. I’m doing my own thing. And I’m like, “Hey, you got as much time as I got, girl.” But then you know what happens? You know that that’s like all the things we always do. It you know you’re always waiting on a woman. That’s right. We’re always waiting on a woman cuz they deserve it. Let them be on their own time. Let them do what they want and then you know we’re at their disposal. But you know what Jasper will do is he’ll wait for Jade to finally get done peeing. And then he’ll pee on top of where she pees. And it don’t matter how much he’s peed. He saved enough to erase whatever work he thinks she’s done. Every time he marks it. He’s marking that spot back that it was his. Yep. He’s coming over the top with his own marking. Now I have noticed. Don’t do that to me. doesn’t do that to my markings. He He knows you’re the boss. He knows I’m the boss. Yeah. And especially now that I’m peeing all over his his bathroom, he’s like, “Oh, yeah. He is the boss.” See, that’s another benefit of this. I I think I’m communicating on another level with my dogs. Yeah. Well, I think we’ve peed enough. You don’t want me to keep talking about it cuz I could defend myself more and more. They thought it would stink. And I still I guarantee you right now for something about the makeup of my gravel and the depth of it and everything. It doesn’t stink. It doesn’t smell like human piss, dog piss, coyote piss. I’ve smelled all of it. Smells like none of that. It It actually smells quite pleasant out there. I just think it soaks it up and sends it sends it somewhere. I don’t know. It’s gone. It’s It’s a beautiful thing. It’s a beautiful thing. And and here we are, the two of us dispatches of Myrtle Beach. We are pro public urination in our backyards. We’re pro private outdoor urination. Yeah. Yeah. That that that cuz I peeed on my rocks in my backyard, too. You You do? Yeah. And was that when you would take your dogs out or No, I’m just out there working and I had to pee. I just pee. There you go. It’s a lifestyle. And once you get hipped to that lifestyle, there’s it’s a freedom that you don’t want to relinquish, you know. I think it’s kind of at the core of being an American. Oh, yeah. Dad agree. Do it. If if you own it, you ought to be able to pee on it. That’s it. That is it. If you own it, you ought to be able to pee on it. All right, I’m ready to move on now. We got what we came for. Well, yeah. If you own it, I hope so. You ought to be able to pee on it. Yes. Yes. Whether you’re lounging by the pool, planning a station, or finally jetting off on that long awaited trip, summer is the perfect time to shake things up and maybe even start learning a new language with Rosetta Stone. You can turn your downtime into something seriously rewarding. Rosetta Stone has been the trusted name in language learning for over 30 years. 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Nancy kind of made this trip cuz it was my birthday. Mhm. When we went down there and had some friends come down there, we had a great time. How many friends did you have? Uh Jody Patterson and Kathy Gross came down Wednesday and spent Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and we all left Sunday and came back home. And that’s a fancy place, Hilton Head, South Carolina. Oh man. Which is better, Charleston, South Carolina or Hilton Head, South Carolina? They’re both on the coast. Uh, they kind of Well, when we left Sunday, we left from Hilton Head and I took I took Nancy to Charleston. We stopped there for about an hour and let her go to the market down there and go shopping. Well, that tells me right now that Hilton Head didn’t everything have everything she wanted. Well, she wanted to go go by there and, you know, I didn’t. So Hilton Head is south, more south, and then when you’re driving back out, it’s not, but you can be in uh Savannah from Hilton Head in about 45 minutes. 40 minutes. You said Savannah. But you mean Charleston, Georgia. Savannah, Georgia. Well, hold on. Now we’re talking about Savannah, Georgia. You said you can leave Hilton Head. You can keep going south and hit Savannah in an hour and a half. About 40 minutes. Oh, 40 minutes. That’s what she said. But I’m talking about Charleston, which if you leave Hilton Head and you go north about two hours. Two hours on the way back. It’s just 4 hours from our house to Hilton Head or either 2 hours from our house to Charleston. 2 hours and 15 minutes. Okay. Well, when you brought Savannah into this conversation, I was confused. Well, I mean, if you You didn’t go to Savannah. No, we talked about it, but we didn’t we didn’t go. That would have been the wrong direction. Well, well, I mean, we talked about all four of us riding down there and uh walking on the walk down there and doing some things, but uh you were having too much. We didn’t do that. We just we just went to the pool and we went out shopping and uh took the girls out shopping and doing all that stuff. And but we we didn’t go to we didn’t go out to eat but one time. So we we cooked and okay had charcoal steaks. I carried all the stuff with me to have charcoal steaks and then we had a chicken on the grill and I made some coles saw out of a cabbage out of my our garden in the back. Sounds like you were cooking a lot there. Well, when we cooked breakfast every morning before we left and went out and either to the beach or the pool and whatever we’re doing. So, not bad at all. We did a lot of eating. Let me ask you. So when you take the girls out shopping, are you always looking for the next bench? Cuz you know when you go shopping at these type of places that I know you go shopping at, everywhere you walk around, you just see bench, bench, bench with old man, old man, oh man on them and they’re just y and sometimes they’re looking at their phones, sometimes they’re just or sleeping. Yeah. look at your phone or just kind of just the eyes are closed and the chin is the chin is down. We took them to a place Saturday and we went inside with them and we found a a nice couch that they had for sale in there and we me and Jody just sat down in on that and just waited for just I mean we had a nice relaxing couch that we sat on and just oh we could see them we could look but down the aisles and we could see them going back and forth and getting stuff. They was having a big time. Yeah. And here you were just on a couch. Um what if somebody wanted to buy the couch? Was anybody interested? Well, they didn’t nobody bothers, but if they I written if they wanted to, we’d have got up and went to a another set of chairs that was over there. We just sat down in them. Yeah. They didn’t anybody they didn’t nobody say anything while we were in there. Yeah. So said, “Well, I’m thinking really hard about buying this couch. I need to sit on it for probably about 30, 40 minutes and then I’ll make my decision and take a nap on it. I need to take a nap on it. Really drop my head a little bit. See if she when and when my wife comes back and she’s done shopping, I’ll make my decision to not buy this couch. But up until then, I reserved the right to do that. That’s what we did. You didn’t buy the couch. I Me and Neither one of us bought the couch. So, and are you on your phone? No. So, you don’t you don’t really do that like just kill time by being on your phone? No. You never got onto that train? Uh, I mean, I look at it once in a while, but no, when I’m out doing something, I don’t, you know, that’s good, Dad. I don’t I don’t need to be on my phone. So, did you buy anything when shopping or just let them buy stuff? They just bought stuff. You You’re literally not shopping at all. You’re just there. No, I went around I looked around a little bit and after me and Jody looked around a little bit and I said, “We need to find somewhere to sit down. I ain’t buying nothing.” Exactly. It’s It’s the worst. I mean, why not send them without you? Do you think about that? Well, they hey, they told us that we could go back to the room where we were staying in our go back to townhouse and then they’d call us cuz it won’t but about 15 minutes away and but I said, “No, I’m fine.” Hey, I take Nancy shopping all the time. Either I go in with her or I just sit in the truck, put the seat back, open the windows, if it’s hot, I turn the air conditioner on. I just sit there patiently waiting for my wonderful wife and let her go do whatever she wants to. All right. All right. So, you’re the chauffeur and you’re not even on your phone, man. No. Listen, I usually listen to some music. I got the radio on. That’s it. That’s a good husband. Well, I commend. So, how was your birth how was your birthday trip? And how was y’all’s anniversary trip? Um, well, our anniversary trip, we went to Big Su and it was amazing. It was beautiful. The weather couldn’t have been more perfect. A lot of times, um, you can get like the clouds or the like the what’s the word I’m looking for? The morning ocean clouds. The the sea the fog. The sea fog. Yeah, the fog. You know what I’m talking about. Yeah, I don’t know why. I can’t remember the word for it. Uh, but it was it was very clear and uh we stay in really nice place. It was beautiful. And um yeah, they had all types of activities you could sign up for. And then Christie signed me up for this uh they have a DJ there. And then I spent an hour with their DJ just hanging out like he was going to teach me his program, but then I ended up just talking to him about Brazilian music. Okay. and and Christy sat there just like you do when you take Nancy shopping and she enjoyed me enjoying myself in my little DJ session and it um we we just had we just had the best time. She also signed us up for a um what you would call a pl polar plunge. We took a hike into the woods up into the redwoods beside this beautiful creek and we get up high enough these like little waterfalls and little pools and um water was very very cold but this guide of ours she she gave us the opportunity to get down into the water and I was very surprised that Christy did it and then I turned out to be the wuss cuz I was like oh it’s so cold she was like it’s not that bad at all. It’s like, you’re so warm naturatured. So warm naturatured. She just walking around emanating heat everywhere she goes. She’s so hot. My wife is so hot. And here I am freezing. I get out of the water and like our hiking guide like had tea for us and a a towel to dry off with. Chrissy’s just standing there like just in her bathing suit, not even drinking the tea, just having a conversation. And they’re talking, talking, talking. They look over at me and I’m like, I’m I’m under the blanket sipping my tea like putting my knees up to my chest and I’m my my bottom my bottom jaw is just just chattering against my So you kind of like I was when I got out of the Yeah. 40ome degree water that was really cold. Yeah. I don’t think my water was that cold, but she showed me up big time, which is why she survived 25 years with me because she’s got the strength and resilience of a polar plunge goddess. I’m telling. Um, but I’m not going I’m not going to take her shopping. She can go on her own. I just can’t I can’t be sitting on a bench. You hadn’t said anything about, you know, that I I looked a little more tan or anything. I mean, I’m sorry, Dad. I did actually noticed it, but you looked a little more tan. Oh, yeah. Tell me about it. We just apparently you want to talk about laid out at the We went to the ocean one day and then laying out at the pool. You don’t really need a tan, Dad. No, that’s what that’s what people said. Why are you getting a tan? You you stay tan. And I said, ‘Well, that’s just what I do. It’s just what he does. And if he needs to pee, he’s going to go where he needs to go. That Yeah, that would be correct. My birthday stuff. I know you asked about my birthday, too, but like we delayed my birthday party stuff, so there’s still some We’re still working on scheduling, you know. It was funny, Link, we when we went, you know, my birthday was we got down there on the 25th and mine was on the 27th and Nancy packed up. She bought me two cards. She couldn’t find them, so she gave them to me after we got back home this p yesterday. Give them to She I said, “Honey, it’s fine.” Had she written in them? Oh, yeah. Okay. My wife always writes them. Well, when we were on our anniversary trip, we were having a discussion. We were laughing about something. Chris was like, “I’m gonna have to put that in your card.” Not that I haven’t written in your card yet. And I was like, “Oh, yeah. I I’m probably going to write something like that in in my card for you, too. That I not that I haven’t written in a card for you yet.” And then then the next day, we kept joking about it. And then by the last day of our trip, we were like, “You know what? Maybe we’ll just save those cards for next time. I was like, we we told everybody we’ve told each other everything we were going to write in the cards. Oh, yeah. So, like we were each other. It It works if you’re on the same page. We were both on the same page. That’s right. Buying cards for each other, but then deciding not to write in them or give them to each other. It’s time for All right, Mr. Neil. What you think of this reel? Looks like Leo has sent me another video about to look at something. And okay, he says, “And I assume this is how you and Nancy Shag. Are you two better than them?” Oh, okay. Let’s see it. Not a painting reel. A shag now. Yeah, I know. This is different. Oh my word. Whoa. Oh my goodness. Whoa. What are I was like, this is cute. And all of a sudden it got dangerous. What in the world? I’m telling you, they Hey, and they look like they was uh about as old as I am. And they they were getting with it. I don’t Hey, now that man looks older than you, Dad. Yeah. Well, I mean, look how high his pants are. Yeah. Well, but he’s got some nice shoes on. He has some nice shoes on. But that that dance partner is she was holding back at first and then he started spinning her like a top. Well, that’s what you Hey, the man’s supposed to lead, the woman’s supposed to follow. But spinning that many times in a row, you I mean, you got to keep track and spin the other direction if you want her to be able to walk straight afterwards. Well, I don’t know. She they Hey, uh Leo, I I I don’t know if uh Nancy and I don’t practice enough to do some of the things they did. You have to practice a lot to be able to do what they did. So, uh but I I that was a good video. And he’s not saying that he couldn’t do it. He’s just saying he would need to practice first. But well, some of the things implying that if he did practice, then he could do it. Yeah, that would be correct, I think. But getting Nancy to do that would be a different thing. But uh Well, you know what? You leave, she’s going to be at your mercy. You going to start spinning her around. Just say just go with it. 28 spins later. Y’all going both be on the floor. I I know. Like I know she can’t be spun around too much cuz but uh some of the things they did. We took some lessons one time and we used to know how to do some of that stuff. We maybe I need to brush up. Me and her need to start dancing doing it some more. And Leo, maybe I need to send you a video of uh me and Nancy dancing like that. That’s right. Especially if you put some practice in. I mean, I’m tempted to wonder if that guy is a young man wearing a wig and pulling his pants up real high if he’s dressed like a grandpa. But no, that that I I guarantee you that you can leave that alone, Link. And that that man’s probably been dancing 40 years and he could dance. Good for him. Some of the things he did was kind of freestyle and stuff and uh and some of it was some shagging and stuff, but he he was a freestyle shagger. So I I’m going to get a man a thumbs up and a woman too. They did a good job. Two thumbs up. Yeah. From your boys that dispatches from Myrtle Beach. Myrtle Beach. I got to say I got a little tired just watching that. I’m worn out. Dad, dancing can be dancing is good exercise. Well, link it. You know, it was fun having you all here with us today and we’ll be back next week for another one. And don’t forget to follow and subscribe wherever we get your podcast and on YouTube. And while you’re at it, rate and review us on Apple Podcast. And if you got a question or comment or story you’d like to share with me, email me at ratherbbeesshagen53aol.com. And y’all have a great rest of the week. And remember, if you own it, you can pee on it. Yeah, we can’t. Love you, too.