MK 1077: Recreating Wild West Saloon Food

Today we’re recreating Wild West Saloon food from the 1800’s. This town ain’t big enough for the two of us. Pew. Pew. Today’s historic meal is inspired by the rough and tumble town of Dodge City, Kansas. And who better to show us around than the town’s sheriff? Now, you may have heard the popular phrase get out of dodge when referring to threatening situations, but today we’re getting into Dodge. This place has a historic reputation of being a dangerous and lawless town. Now, during the first year of the town’s establishment in 1872, it was an unorganized village lacking law enforcement structure. A documented 18 men died from gunshot wounds and newspapers identified many men as being wounded. After 1873, there were strides to enact laws to bring order to town, but Dodge City’s dangerous reputation continued in newspapers and other media. In fact, the long running show Gun smoke was about a US marshal fighting crime in Dodge City and was on the air for 20 years. Solidifying the reputation today, we’re recreating dishes that you would find in saloons from this historic time period. We’ve got son of a gun stew, beef jerky, ribeye steak, and of course Sarsparilla. Well, I hope that the saloon door doesn’t hit my ass on the way in. It is time for Meals of History. While Emily’s getting into character, I wanna let you know that this portion of today’s video is sponsored by River Bend Ranch. Now to authentically recreate these cowboy dishes, I’m gonna define beef that was raised how it used to be back in the day with no artificial growth hormones. So I was very excited when Riverbend Ranch reached out to sponsor this episode because they take care of their cattle. Knowing that humane treatment of their animals is how we get the healthiest, most sustainable beef. They never use growth hormones to make their cattle grow faster. Instead, they spend their days on some of the most beautiful country on earth romping on rangeland and roaming free in the high Mountain meadows. Man, I never get to roam free in High Mountain Meadows. I’m gonna go to River Bend Ranch and you can actually taste the difference. They’ve spent three decades perfecting their herd of black Angus cattle with a major focus on quality marbling and tenderness. And those are really the three things you look for in a steak. Summer’s coming up, so consider getting yourself a bundle to have the grill day of your dreams. Shoot me a text, I’ll be there. I, you know, I’ll just smell it and come running. Check out their website to choose which premium beef bundle you want to try. Decide how often you’d like your box delivered, and you can update this at any time and save up to 10% with monthly deliveries. Then you can choose from a variety of add-ons to build your perfect box of premium Riverbend Ranch beef. Now, I’m so psyched that all the beef we’re cooking with today is from Riverbed Ranch and I cannot wait to taste it and lucky us, they’re giving us a special offer. Go to riverbendranch.com/mk or click the link in the description below and use our code MK 25 to get $25 off your first order. Thanks again to Riverbend Ranch for sponsoring that portion of today’s video. Emily, you got your britches on yet? Alright. Yeah, you’ll be hearin’ from me too. That guy did not wanna get arrested. He really, he certainly did not. He slapped me in the face. I saw that. That was crazy. And then you go, okay, that’s, uh, can I ask who you are? Oh, I put her there. I’m a sheriff, Wyatt Burke. Sheriff Burp of the Tennessee Burps. Tennessee. I’m only familiar with the Kentucky Burps. Oh, don’t talk to them. I certainly won’t. Um, I have a stupid question. You’re, you’re the sheriff. That man just slapped you in the face. Uhhuh, you seem to let him sort of walk free. Uh, well, there’s a few things that we just kind of don’t bother with. I’ve generally heard about the lawlessness of Dodge City. I didn’t know if that was an unfair stereotype. Yeah. Like it’s, you know, if you wear white after Labor day, no big deal. But also, um, you know, pistol whipping just for funsies. Yeah. That, that does happen sometimes. It happens all the time. Um, want and cruelty by the police force? Who would’ve thought they took my gun again? Ah, uh, sheriff Burp– No more for slaps for me. I hope you’re hungry. ’cause I was about to, to whip up a big pot of son of a gun stew. Ooh, that sounds fun. You’re familiar with it, you’ve eaten it a lot. Nope. I mainly eat raw onions and loose vermin. Just the heads. I gotta ask. Uh, you know, I’m, I’m not exactly familiar with what y’all do here, but is that to cure some sort of ailment you have? No, I just, people don’t like me and I have to go and hide in the bush for a while. Yeah, that adds up. Um, well, from what I understand, right, some of a gun stew. Uh, this is a really popular recipe here in Dodge City, Kansas. Typically, I know there’s a lot of cattle that come in and around here. Oh yeah. And so this uses at least what the Kansas Historical Society said, everything from a young calf except for the hide and the horns. So that’s what we got going on here. We got some lard going down in here. Um, well, what sort of crimes are you dealing with, if I can ask? Oh, well, let’s see. Uh, murder. Yeah. How many murders are going on? Oh, I’d say about 10 or 12. 10 or 12. Okay. But sometimes that’ll matter a little for you. That means what? Mean? Like, but like per, per like season or per day? Yeah. 10 to, let’s say 10 to 12 murders per year. How many murders is too many murders? Oh, not per year. Oh, that’s my worth. Oh God. Oh no. 10 to 12 today. Um, I have to ask who pays your salary, because if I were a, a taxpayer here in Dodge City, I don’t know that I’d be too happy with the way that you’re doing things around here. Well, forgive me for saying no. It’s all right. I kind of have a wealthy benefactor Who’s that? The widow ine. I hate the way that you lick your lips when you say the widow ine. She’s 80 years old and I love her so much. I’m so happy for you. She’s got a limp. Maybe she was born with it. Maybe it was aine. Well, you know what’s funny is I was looking, I did this makeup. Can you tell. Um, I love a sharpie. Can you tell It’s not a Sharpie, it’s eyeshadow. I wanted to get some comments from maybe some drag kings. If there are like, um, there’s gotta be drag kings who you like this stuff. Tell me how I’m doing. Is this good? Do you have any notes? Could I have gone harder, not softer, whatever. I think it’s awesome. I’ve scared everyone here a hundred percent. Yeah. That’s normally you though. That’s about the people thought a bogey was in the building. They were like, ah. It was like, I, I’ve always heard Dodge City as being like the most dangerous lawless town where revolvers were the only law with all the respected sheriff folk over here. Um, but as it turns out, there was one year, not 1872, where there were 18 murders. And that seemed like a lot, uh, but it was in a place where railways could easily get to. So journalists from New York would come down to Dodge City and they wanted to like sell this idea of the lawless Wild West. And so a lot of the stories got over blown. And then the show gun smoke in the, in the 1900’s. Oh yeah. That is what got people to really think Dodge City was that lawless because Tombstone. Tombstone as well. But they did hire a sheriff in the mid 1870s, like 1876 that really came in and there were only one to two murders per year. But the story of Dodge City had already been written. Right? Well, they didn’t mention me. I was actually the first. You were the first sheriff. Oh yeah, I am Sharon. Ah, I’m so sorry. Sometimes the timeline is rough. I’ve seen some of, on Reddit, they were like, where does he exist in the timeline? Yeah, yeah. Like are they inside of. The place where they’re supposed to be? Or is it just a character who sees the place? I think it’s supposed to be, and I choose that. Having never seen Dr. Who, I’d like to say that I’m like, Dr. Who? Oh, oh yeah. I like that. You just kind of appear and blend in Sexy British and gender agnostic. Ow fudge. Cheese and rice. Son of a gun, son of a gunner. Said it. Son of a gun stew. So son of a gun stew. I can make people think I’m arresting somebody. Do it. Yeah. Yeah. Say again. Ow. Yeah, that’s what you get for kissing my girl Aine, son of a gun stew. It had literally everything in it, and there’s actually fascinating history behind it. It was generally free black slaves after the Civil War, because remember, this is coming in only about seven years after the Civil War ended, who basically. Took all of the stuff that Army regimens would typically have, and they went and they worked as ranch hands and they started cooking up stews with basically whatever they had on them that were typically in a Union soldier’s diet. The son of a gun stew became a popular ranch hand dish, mostly because of freed black Americans. At that time. So that’s what we’re trying to recreate here. Spread down these onions with the salt pork. I also read that, uh, their army or the military reservation where the soldiers would be in this area. They made the first saloon a couple miles away from it. Yeah, yeah. So they could get drunk and not get trouble. And the first saloon, which is great. The first saloon in Dodge, it was known as the Long Branch Saloon. As the legend goes, nobody knows that this is fully documented. It was Union soldiers made a bet with local townspeople on a game of baseball because baseball was invented Civil war camps. What? Yeah. That’s what baseball was invented. And they were like, whoever loses this game of baseball has to build a saloon. And that is an insane wager. And apparently the soldiers lost. And so they built the Long Branch Saloon that was eventually bought, lost by a businessman. Yeah, that’s embarrassing. But that’s what we’re sort of talking about here is the type of food that would’ve been served at the Long Branch Saloon. Famously in Dutch, this is amazing because there was so much beef. We got all this lovely beef product going in here. There was a a bar that I went to when I lived in New York, and I know it’s so annoying anytime someone starts to, I lived in New York, but when I lived in New York, take it in. I did live there. Anyway. There was a bar there called, I think it’s McSorley’s Macy’s, the oldest bar in America, and Yeah, and they, it’s like sawdust on the ground and there’s just two beers, a light beer and a dark beer. And the menu, there’s a, there’s like some snacks or whatever, but they have a onion sandwich. Yeah. And I’m like, is it just onions with two pieces of bread? Like what is an onion sandwich? Did they put butter on it? I don’t know. I didn’t eat that [bleep]. No, but like, I hate onions. Those were, I mainly eat raw onions and loose fermin. We know about the murders that have happened in Dodge. What are the crimes you dealing with? All right, let me, let me look at my notes real quick. Jesus just kind gotta pull up the police log line. Ah, okay. Here’s the blotter. You’re the stand. All right. I, I’m having a hard time remembering all these, so shall I just read some? Yeah. Read me from your list of crimes. Sheriff Burp, kissing a turtle on the Sabbath, eating them, I don’t know, jumping up and slapping branches so hard on the leaves. Fall off the tree. That’s don’t do it. We need those leaves. Eating a man’s food when he doesn’t eat fast enough. Don’t you hate that? It’s like, what are you doing? It’s already cold. Gimme that. Yeah. I think you should be allowed to. Yeah, you should be able to. I kinda love that you’re able to convey your own sense of morality within these laws. Thank you. Yeah. I make it up. We got the beef livers. I’m gonna give this one nice little brown. Are you gonna do some gambling while you’re here? I thought about it. You know, I like to play video poker. Video poker. That sounds like a good made up thing. That’s a funny, I, uh, um, well, if you are around later, uh. You could play a game of mole or smallpox, I think you and I, we get a guy, we get a little telescope and then we look at a guy, we gotta take off your shirt. And we go, ah. Should we let him in? Okay. We let him in. So the odds on roulette are roughly 50 50. What are the odds on molar smallpox? How often does smallpox? You’d be surprised? I don’t want 50 50. It really is. Remind you of aine. Huh? Hmm. Is that a titty that you’re saying is, you’re saying it’s a tit? Um, I was sort of leaving it open to interpretation. I think it’s gotta be a titty or else, what is it? I don’t know. It could be her tongue. It could be, you know, it could be Why are old women suddenly have huge tongues? Have you ever felt this? Feel it. I hate it. We’re gonna eat it. All right. We’re gonna pop that. We’re gonna pop that in the water. We’re gonna let this whole beef tug. I love cooking beef tug. You gotta let this boil for like two, three hours then? No, you’re gonna listen to the sheriff burp. Then we’re gonna take the beef tongue out and we’re actually going to rip off the membrane along with all of the actual taste buds. ’cause that’s what we were feeling with your hand. And then we get to chop up the tongue meats. What did the people on last meals get to eat? I’m on this side now. Yes you are. I want, I want you to see both sides of the, of the, the, um, sideburns that I did. I genuinely think it looks, do they look similar at all? Yeah, they look somewhat symmetrical. Alright, cool. As I said, many ranchers moved to Dodge City looking to unearth the fortune. Hey, you too can potentially unearth the fortune ’cause we’re giving away $50,000. Wow. For golden tee of mythical. Go to mythical.com, buy your golden t-shirt for a chance to win. And hey, if you don’t win. You could always, uh, gamble with bead on. How, how far can this old lady spit? What’s the longest old lady spit you’ve ever seen in years? Oh, not you say the longest old lady tits. And, uh, it’s aines. I love ’em. I, I wear ’em as a little hacked. I, I know love is love, but I hate that. Yeah. Well that’s not, listen, I think people are very biased towards older women. That’s true. And they should lay off it. Uh, so beef jerky was actually a Native American preparation. They would, you know, kill some sort of a deer or buffalo, and then they would take the meat as a method of preservation. They would salt it, and then they would hang it up next to a fire. We ain’t got a fire. But what we do guys is smoke salt to mimic the smoke that would come off of it. Okay. And then we also have a dehydrator, so I’m gonna throw that in there. And jerky actually. Where is it? Dehydrated? It’s, it’s over there. It’s a cool little cool little trick. You can make your own jerky at home or you can use an oven and just keep the door open a little bit. Um, but jerky, I actually didn’t. Okay. Still be a Plath. Jerky is a native American word. It comes from sharky, which I think is really cool. I always wondered why it’s called, it’s sharky. Sharky is a Native American word for jerky for, for beef jerky, and we, we Americanized it or anglicized it to jerky instead of sharky. Yeah, it sounds, which I think is really cool. So we’re gonna get these fin strips. We’re cutting against the grain of this beautiful flank steak right here. Mm-hmm. And then we’re just gonna get the salted up. Do you want salt and pepper up that ribeye and turn on that pan? All I know she, I know. Sheriff, it ain’t your typical vocation. Vocation out here. Listen, I’m very excited about this. Well, I can do like I know Sheriff now, they ain’t you a typical vocation out here now, but. Were you just, if you were gonna salt something that sick for me here. Is that how I sound? That is how you sound indeed. I do the class. Okay. So we talked about how there were a lot of people writing about Dodge City. Some of the claims might have been overblown, but the funny thing is that actually attracted a lot of real criminals to come down and go, Hey, if all the best criminals are here, it’s true. We’re gonna come in. I mean, if you’ve committed a crime outside of Dodge City and then you come in. No one can mess with you without a warrant from the magistrate, which nobody’s got one of those. So basically you can commit a crime, come back in here and then all is fine as long as you don’t leave again. I, I heard it created like a really weird mix of people though. ’cause you had these like professional criminals and gamblers, but then also you kind of had like. Disaster tourists who were just coming to check out D Yeah. To see if it was real. Those are the people who are dead. I hope you have a lot of years left of it. Oh, it’s fine. Found a good bag. I’ve got a real good strings and pulley system at this point just to help her, like, you know, get up, go to the, go to the lou, to the closet, water closet. She just kind, I put her on this. So there’s this thing and it’s got, I’ve got a, a little. You know, track like a train track thing. Sure. And then I got like a bar and then little streets and then it just, she just goes, we, so I’m Ling so act like I’m Ling and I’m in bed. I got my long, disappeared nipple. And I’m in bed. And you need to, but a very nice chamise. A very nice chamise. And then you’re getting me into the, into the string and pulley system. Yes. So it goes wrists into there, wrist into, oh, you sound just like her. Uh, wrists into there. And then there’s a little thing that holds up the elbows. This is my favorite part. And then, and then her butt goes in this little seat, and then I just, we, you know, oh, yeah. See exactly that. You get it? Yeah. I get it. And then she just kind of hovers over the hole that we pee and poop in. Then I clean her up with a hose, as I mentioned with all of the Sal. I love the gambling rings. This was still primarily a town of commerce where a lot of the cattle herds went in. Because you see this is a rapidly expanding west. Very much in the trains we’re taking from, you know, say the uh, Chicago stock yards, et cetera, down to, uh, the frontier on the west. Look at that. Beautiful. Wow. We’ve even got entertainment. Yeah. Yes. Was the name of it? The cowboy band. The cowboy band you’re talking about chocolate bes, cowboy band, gd it. We got the cowboy band. That’s a long branch saloon. Yes. An entertainer. Mm-hmm. It is like genuinely such a strange. Mix of people going on because you did like, have like famous gamblers. There was an actual shootout between Levi Richardson. Yeah. And, uh, a cockeyed, willy loving. I should have done something about that. You, you seem like you should have. I don’t know. And it was a fight over an affair, which seemed to be a common thing. Yeah. Uh, I’ve been busted for that myself. Would Were you the one that slept with Cockeye? Really loving wife? No, no. I’m just an enabling kind of man. Just an now he’s a one woman man. She used to be a widow. Oh, okay. Okay. She was a widow. It was very like, you know, natural caucus. Yeah. So we’re gonna pull this steak. Now this is a really interesting technique here. Um, this is called. Cowboy, so, so we got all of this lovely beef, fat, and drippings here. And then now what we do is we take a little bit of flour and we toast that in the pan. Ooh. Give that a nice little whisk around and then we’re just gonna add water. You’re effectively like making a really rudimentary gravy. And then just reintroducing. Is that a ru What? That’s a ru. I mean, this is kind of a ru, a little bit. A ru is a mixture of, uh, fat and uh, and flour. And so we’ve effectively made a ru in here and de glazing it with water. My dad made a ru recently when I came home and I was like, you know how to make that. Then what the hell was my childhood like? What is the dry pork chops in the Mac, in the velv vita shells and cheese? This is gonna be a weird flavor that I’ve never experienced before. This is just like beef fat flour and like steak flavorings. Try it. Okay? A little hot. I don’t know if it’s gonna be salted or not. Damn. That’s wild. ’cause you taste the toast on the flour. Ooh. Yeah. We’re gonna reduce this cowboy salt. Let this steak rest. Get the jerky in, then we’re good to go. Alright. And I’m gonna find my pistol. I’m getting hot. Yeah, I’ve been done. I’ve been smelling you. Really? No, no, not so, not Emily, the sheriff. Burke. I’m like scared that I smell, smell. Oh my God. No, I didn’t know that was like a thing. I didn’t know that was thought about yourself. Have you guys ever around somebody whose breath is like crazy is mine? No. Never. No, no, no, no. Um, no. Anyway. Yeah. Oh, the tag. Don’t show the tag. This is, this is from the 18 hundreds. Oh, no, I think they do. We’re not gonna send this back. I know. Anyway, authentic. I’m about a quarter of water here in this pot. ’cause we’re making the old West favorite soft drink. That’s right, sheriff Bur. Oh, we’re making Sapar. Oh, the Burts know a lot about these. Yeah. So I’m gonna add a whole lot of sugar to all that water. And then, good Lord, that’s a lot, lot of sugar. I know. Listen, do you want your syphilis cured or not sheriffs? Oh, I definitely want it cured because this is why people drink Sapar. They. You know, they thought it cured it. This is before the invention of antibiotics and so your only hope at curing any disease was various roots and SAS Barilla is indeed, well, not a root, but it’s a vine. And so we have dried the SAS Barilla Vine. Get that smell. Ooh, that’s nice. It really, it almost smell a little bit like root beer, right? Yes, absolutely. So root beer was typically made with, did you just get bunch of sticks for the rest? Yeah. No, this is birch. So SAS Barilla does grow natively in the us, but it’s more common elsewhere. God bless you, sheriff. Uh, and so typically, uh, uh, SAS is made with sasper root. But also birch oil was used and I grew up drinking birch beer from good old Eastern Pennsylvania. Um, so this is some birch wood that we’re also, was it like a ginger beer thing where there was no booze in it? Yeah, no booze in it. No boo. Like a root beer. So SAS is a cousin of root beer. Some people think on keep kind of bringing the sticks to me and then I don’t get to smell. Smell your sticks. Damn it. Geez. All right. Didn’t like that. So we’re just gonna infuse all of the SAS Barilla vine in there along with the dried birch. And this was something that was kinda like one of the only non-alcoholic beverages, along with, you know, various. Teas and lemonade sometimes served at the long branch alone. Don’t you think if you put that much sugar in anything, it would taste good. Like let’s go get a handful of grass. Like legitimately, yes. But this also would’ve been a time, like why didn’t you like, I don’t know, here’s some old mulch that dried up. Yeah, like legitimately you could make grass flavored soda with that much sugar and probably wouldn’t taste good. So we’re gonna let this come to a boil. We’re gonna shut it off. We’re gonna let this steepen, all that delicious sauce. Spiral vine right there. And then we’re gonna straighten off. We got a lovely beverage to go with our meal at the Longbridge Saloon. Was that good? Well now Sheriff Burp out Rick and we got ourselves a mighty fun. Shaminavicjules in front. I’m sorry, I gotta stop doing that. No, it’s really good. I loved the energy. We got all of the foods, we have the cowboy steak with our cowboy. So, and again, meat back then likely would’ve been cooked closer to medium well, or well. ’cause you know, diseases that Yeah. You wanna avoid, we got our son of a gun stew over here. We got our big old glasses of sas, Barilla chilled. They would actually ship ice down from Colorado or take it to the train from Colorado down to the saloon. So they would’ve had cold beverages. And then we have a bunch of other cowboy staples. They would’ve been eating peanuts. The bacon was very, very common because it was salted and preserved. And then we got this mighty fine beef jerky that we made here. Get yourself some, wow. Ooh, it’s real crunchy. So hard. And then if you want some bread, Ooh, good old fashioned, hard tack. And those cheese. I’m glad that’s it’s cheese, right? It’s not cantaloupe. Nah. They want or honeydew. Which one is which? I don’t know, but I’m always sad when it’s not cheese. They must have really [bleep]. A brick. When townhouse crackers came out. Oh you I like, oh no more. Hard time. This is amazing. Yeah. Lemme try it. Oh man. I got a question. They ate so many hard foods back then, but the dental care was so poor. I put like 30 grand into this mouth of dental work and I can barely get through this beef jerk. I would’ve been screwed in this time period. ’cause I knocked out my teeth when I was 14. Yeah, those would’ve been gone. You can’t fix that. No, no. They would’ve just taken like, uh, like pieces of elephant ivory and shoved them around. But how do you hold them in? Look at the son of a gun stew. So all that shredded meat in there, that was the tongue that you saw, you know. I ate some tongue when we did the Abraham Lincoln episode. Yeah. Did you enjoy it? I did. Well, you even put it in Jello. Do you remember that? I remember the Jollied Beef Tongue episode, and I remember going, it was like our second episode or something. It really was. I remember going, don’t complain. This is a really cool opportunity. Eat the gum. Eat. Eat the tongue. Eat the tongue. Like, I really wanna keep doing these episodes. And then five years later, here we are. I like how big the spoon is. It makes me feel like a tiny, tiny man. I had to put a scarf in here because the thing is the boobs fill out any shirt, you can throw any shirt at me and I’ll fill it out. But the neck huge. So I stuffed a scarf in here to try to make it tighter on my neck. I love how anything you say is kind of the most crass way to say that. You throw any shirt at me, my boobs will fill it. I’ll fill it out. You show me shirt, I fill it out. This stew is really, really lovely. Mm mm That’s awesome. It’s, there’s no, like, there’s no herbs, there’s no seasonings, salt and pepper, but all of that pure, beefy essence in there. I just ate a sweet bread. Do you get a sweet bread? Whoa. Lemme take of your, your bowl. What’s a sweet bread? Thymus gland of a young calf. My favorite. Try that. You see that kind of kinda like white little, oh god thing. Try it. Try it for me please. Emily. If you wanna work in this town again, you need to, weird thing. I know it’s happening again. No, this is genuinely one of my favorite foods on the planet. No. Okay. Do you know what I’m telling myself? No. That it’s a dumpling from Cracker Barrel. Because that’s the vibe, because that just like my tongue, my, there’s nothing to chew. It just goes right through it. Yeah. Love it. Whoa, look at that. Is that appetizing for you audience? Mm. Shockingly for me, I see that and I look, it’s like a little face. Yeah. Moisture. Then a moisture speak witch. There is nose, little eyes. I’m gonna eat them. Hmm. This stew is genuinely one of the most surprising tastes that I’ve had. It’s really good. So good. And there’s so few, and it’s just the pure essence of multiple parts of beef that shredded tongue. I haven’t had like proper, shredded, shredded tongue. That’s a really good band name. I know, right? I love how the band that we were talking about is just called the Cowboy Band. They were like, I don’t care. When you’re the first band, you can really just call yourself anything. There isn’t. We’re a band of cowboys, cowboy band. Did you know that? There’s, there’s one called The Band. No, you don’t know about the band? No. Eat your cowboy steak. Y’all, the comments are about to pop off. What’s the band? I can’t do, I can’t sing it ’cause of the ’cause of copyright. Can you do the whole, as I like, sing it? You know what I mean? When you have the numbers and the little cross it goes du, when we like swear too much. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Duper. He replaces it with my, does anyone know what I’m talking about? Yeah. I just have to keep doing it. So that, do you guys cut and it’s just du You’re saying that’s the band song? No, the band song goes, no, I’m gonna sing the, I’m gonna sing the song by the band. Oh. And they’re gonna, while, while IS the copyrighted song Go Toper. Okay, cool. Does anyone know what I’m talking about? I gave her some of the cowboy shop. Wipe it in the soap. Ooh, I want more soap. Well get more shop in there. Oh, I’m gonna lose my chunk. Listen, I knew everybody’s teeth was rot outta their skulls and everybody had syphilis and everyone was getting murdered. Other than that though, this is a pretty good way to live. Ooh, beggar. Every you got one dang pocket full of bacon. It’s like sweet. We’re ever trying a soft barilla yet. Oh, stick juice. Juice of the sticks. Yeah. Eat your, eat this crummy. Oh, let me drink some stick juice. Mm yum. Yum. Okay. Chef Bourbon, something. The matter that’s horrible, you know, when I’m at the bar. Mm-hmm. Or the saloon rather. I like to do some more gambling. I’m a chance taken man. Well, listen, if there’s the mo or the, you know, that thing is, it was earlier today, we missed it, but later we’re gonna watch, uh, the snake racing and, um, well, we didn’t really think it through. It’s kind of a dangerous game because I don’t know if you know that we, we make a track, they don’t really like staying on the track. And then also it’s, they can get over it, uh, because it’s, the wall’s kind of shallow. So it’s a, huh? My snake. Wait, he’s coming. Come back here. Listen man. Come back here. Little snake. I just come to this saloon ’cause I like the pickled eggs here. It’s got just the right amount of barman’s hands. We come to this place for magic. We come to this place. Little rubber snakes. Um, oh, he’s a good one too. He’s a clingy guy. He knows me by name. He’s taking a nap right now. Wake up. You gotta, you gotta race. You gotta race. Oh, stop it. He’s cuddling. Does Aine know you do this? Oh, this is Aines Snake. Well, sheriff, she’s had it a long time. Maybe she was born with it. Maybe it was Aine. Sheriff Brad, thank you so much for going here. No problem. Here at the Long Brag Saloon. Listen, I don’t have any money. Do you have some money? Absolutely not. A Lee’s taking a nap in her weird harness thing. I can’t ask her for money right now. It takes a long time for her to fall asleep. But when she’s asleep, she is asleep. I believe you. Well, I gotta leave. Leave do the snake snake racing. I’m feeling real good about today. And, um. I’m gonna find my gun. Sounds like you should. Oh, someone’s using it. I can hear it. That’s my gun. Don’t use all of my bullets. I’ve got two. I’ve got two bullets. They’re on layaway, sheriff Burp. Somehow the least corrupt sheriff in Dodge City history. Thank you so much, Jennifer, for joining me, and thank you so much for joining me here over at Mythical Kitchen. Let us know what meal of history you want to see next. Thank you so much. I’ll see y’all next time. The golden Tee of mythicality giveaway is happening this week only. Grab your tee now at mythical.com for your chance to unbox a fortune. We’re here for our Tarot Reading. I am since seeing the money and the future. Ah, okay. Oh, not for you. Oh, this is the Bronze Tee of Mythicality. The recipient of this t-shirt will receive $5,000. Oh, and this is the silver tee of mythicality. The recipient of this t-shirt will receive. $15,000. Whoa. This is the greatest of them all. This is the golden tee of mythicality. The recipient of this t-shirt will receive $30,000. All we gotta do is get the golden tee. No, like I said before, you can’t participate, but you can. That’s right. It’s time for the golden tee of mythicality giveaway, which means you have a chance to win money. Money or money. This year we’re giving out a total of $50,000. Visit mythical.com for more detail. No purchase necessary terms and conditions apply. Boy, we are prohibited. Must be 18 or older. Okay, now do one just for me. That’s not good. King of poopy pants.

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