[Music] [Applause] [Music] this is Charles Mayer from dispatches from Myrtle Beach with my son link neon we’re gonna swing into another episode this week and see what me and you can get into let’s get into it Dad back in the groove once again I look forward to hanging out with you every week and just and just putting it out on the internet you know it have you gotten used to this sensation of knowing that what we’re saying is gonna just it could go to anywhere it could go to everybody who knows like the people you’re hearing from in in these emails have you gotten used to it or is the fame getting to your head well I’m not gonna try to let it get to my head but I you I had a pretty neat thing happen I think it was yesterday or two days ago I I told two of my friends about it and I was working or doing something that of course they were down here on vacation at SOS and they called and said I’m looking at you on dispatches from Myrtle Beach and I said you were some kind of funny I said well that’s good to know then y’all keep watching and keep telling other people about it and how to look at it said that’s what we’re trying to do so so people have fun with it so I thought even though it was somebody I knew I thought that was pretty neat did they enjoyed is just you know maybe like a Grassroots thing but do you feel like you’re you’re professional life your public Persona is interfering with your private life at this point not yet no okay but Pat my friend tells me says you’re not gonna be able to come down here and go to to the music on Main much longer said Lord you ain’t gonna be able to get out in public anymore I said oh no I’m gonna I’ll get out in public I’ll be all right man of the people got to be with the people but I got got some pretty interesting uh holler outs and uh oh they’re not from the United States they’re from International highlights we we got some people listening that’s what I’m saying different parts of the world we put this out everywhere man the guy’s name is Jonas and he says I’m from Sweden and I have always loved my mother okay and father but I have never told them straight out huh I’ve just never known how to say it my mother died last summer from a sudden heart attack and me and my dad were left alone she was always the one who talked about feelings because of this podcast I was able to tell my dad that I loved him for the first time what are you serious when I when I read this thing I kind of had to just kind of back up and think that you know we started doing this and didn’t know how it might touch somebody’s life for if something good helps somebody with this we’ve accomplished almost one of the things that we probably ought to have set out to do to start with so it’s pretty gratifying to know that with what happened with his mother then when his dad and he gives us just a little bit of the credit of him being able to tell his dad that he loved him and show some feelings like his mother did and got it to come out so that’s so special to hear and it’s yeah it’s like this is not the story that we anticipated when we started this thing much less to have you know people listening all over the globe but it’s super cool that that that that’s happened yeah like you said I agree it is really gratifying you know it’s like we’re just we’re conducting our at least an aspect of of our relationship here through this podcast and yeah to end every episode it’s not something we planned where it was like all right I’m gonna say I love you and you’re gonna say you love me right that’s how we’re going to end this podcast it’s just like yeah that’s what we say when we end a phone call so it just kind of just kind of happened sometimes you say it first Sometimes I say it first it’s like nobody I who’s keeping track yeah it’s a natural part of our conversation and for that to be something that yeah my heart goes out to people who are like when you love somebody but you if you haven’t said it at by a certain point then I guess it becomes weird to say well you know what I’ve never we never say we love each other I could see how you could get in that situation you know different relational Dynamics and like you kind of create your own little subculture you know like for us kneels we say when we that we love each other we also kiss each other on the lips yeah was that a Nana thing because like growing up from a young age like I would kiss Nana on the lips I would kiss Aunt TC on the lips well I would also lick her face as like a running joke I don’t know how that started and I’ve always told the story about how Nana taught me to blow a bubble like with gum she took the gum she chewed it up she put it around her tongue and then she took it out of her mouth and she said stick your tongue out and she put it on my tongue and then she said blow and that’s how I learned how to blow a bubble it’s just like this this type of like I’m your nana we can share spit yeah you know it’s just like this is how I’m gonna I’m gonna teach you I mean not every family kisses each other much less kiss each other on the lips I mean you and I don’t kiss each other on the lips but ah I believe we did much later than what people would think is normal like if we were all getting together for Christmas and we’re all just telling each other we’re like hey good to see you there might be some kissing on the lips I don’t even think you’d think twice about it if I kissed you on the lips no probably not but I know we probably even here lately been together we might not have kissed on the lips but we um might have kissed you on the cheek of the forehead or something right for the record we don’t kiss each other on the lips when we see each other but I’m just saying the cultural climate in the Neo household is you can kiss on the lips I guess in Nana’s house you know so I think that made a big difference in my mind from a young age and the fact that we all always said we loved each other it’s it’s a good thing to always set that practice you know it’s just like Jonas you know some families have different things that goes on with them the way they grow up he said his mama helped kind of show her feelings right it didn’t sound like it was a whole lot of shooting them but he he learned that something I guess from you and I talking that it was a it it’s all right to tell you Mom and Daddy and them that you love them and holler out to Jonas yeah in Sweden we love you Jonas I got another one from Dave he’s from a a small fishing community in Nova Scotia Canada oh wow and it says here there’s a bird called a shag and a community named shag Harvard which is also famous for having the most documented UFO crashes in Canada UFO crashes yeah wow and he said documented so I think that’s pretty neat that he’s somebody keeping up with something falling out of the sky something going on the universe is a huge Place dad chances are there’s intelligent life crawling all over the places oh yeah probably a lot smarter than us if if they’re like zipping around to our puzzlement so if they’re listening though if they’re if these aliens are listening into a podcast to find out what they need to know it’s probably this one so I think now is the is as good a time as any for you to address the alien directly just tell them what they need to know tell them what our intentions are I don’t I don’t know how you want to play this do you want to have a show of strength and force do you want to befriend them do you want however you want to play it I’m trusting you to be to be the ambassador to the aliens so just come on if you’re listening and I would really like to know if you aren’t listening and you’re hearing stuff send us some kind of sign or send us some kind of email to send us something and let you know that we’re reaching people not just here in uh we’re like we’re getting these questions from all over the world but uh get getting them we can get some from outer space too so we know what’s going on out there and and we we’d love to have you because I think everybody else try to get along and help one another and maybe you could help us and we could help y’all but what’s going on so if you got a way to send us something send it to us we we’d appreciate it all right aliens send us your emails holler out to Dave shag Harbor it’s time for another edition of Myrtle Beach mailbag I got one here from Greg Hunt all right and he says a penis says say says to his balls hey guy I’m gonna take you two to a party to which his balls replied liar you always go inside alone and leave us outside knocking [Laughter] liar oh man I I was just kind of stuck on if all of a sudden I heard a conversation coming from my pants and it was my penis talking to my balls I mean that that would be shocking that’d be a shocking turn of events that might be more shocking than being visited by aliens it might be the aliens down there that got in there in them yeah my balls are possessed by aliens I could see how my penis would talk you know that’s pretty obvious but I don’t know exactly how my balls would talk they’d have to send Moore’s code they’d have to beat together okay and don’t talk about my balls beating together that makes me uncomfortable well maybe just stop but they’re just knocking on the door [Laughter] sending us a message you ever been totally still dad and then you can feel that your balls are moving well I’ve been totally still and then try to move around and figure out I need to move them around some because they ain’t in a good position right sometimes you got to help them around but sometimes they will they will move on their own they like they do like to rotate but I I kind of liken it to a um like the Wiener that’s rolling on like the rollers at the 7-Eleven you know it’s like your balls your balls are hanging down there in a in a sack for temperature regulation I think my balls like to do that and I’m I’m kind of feeling alone you know I don’t feel very supported right now well you’ve been talking I’ve just been kind of listening trying to take all this in and everything but it sounds like you gotta mine ain’t that special I don’t ever see them feel them moving so you must have you got a a special set of balls I guess oh I do what I’m telling you thank you Dad yeah thank you it’s one thing for your dad to tell you that he loves you it’s another thing for him to tell you that you have a special set of balls I’m telling you in that yeah you did tell me thank you yeah I mean from now on whenever we end a conversation even though I do like it when you tell me that you love me I would I I’m gonna be honest I prefer for you to occasionally change it up and say thank you yeah yeah yeah I don’t want to have to ask for it so okay it’s just you know just just don’t forget you know well Benji got a special set of balls we’re gonna uh we’re gonna slip on we got another email from Scott fykes it says the old man gets pulled over by a young state trooper okay the trooper says sir I pulled you over for speeding is anything in the truck the old man said yes sir I killed my wife and have her body in my trunk what and a young Trooper freaks out and says what the hell anything else and the old man replied sure I have a kilo of cocaine and a gun in the glove compartment what at this point the young Trooper instructed the old man to remain in the vehicle while he called his supervisor the young Trooper supervisor got on the scene and walked to the old man’s truck and he said sir did you kill your wife and put her and Body in the truck and the old man said what hell no and the trooper said well do you have a kilo of cocaine and a gun in your glove compartment and the old man said hell no and the trooper looked puzzled and said well this young Trooper said you told him you killed your wife and you had drugs and a gun in the glove compartment and the old man replied well damn I bet the son of a [ __ ] told you I speeding too oh man so it was he was playing it that’s that’s so that’s how you get out of a ticket with a long ass joke that is a long ass joke dad have you ever gotten out of a ticket can you talk your way out of a ticket no I ain’t been able to talk my way out of a ticket I always just had to carry the money to the lawyer and get him to take care of it when I was screwing it so you didn’t play the My Dad’s the police officer I mean you didn’t get tickets in Lillington for that reason or did you uh I got tickets in Lily tonight right outside of Lillington I had 19 by the time I was 18 years old 19 tickets yeah I got one going to your mama’s house one night with a boy and they clocked me running 110 mile an hour through the last stop light going out of Lillington why yeah why were you driving so fast no I don’t know just I was in a hurry did you constantly drive that fast everywhere I I must have as many tickets as I got you know you must did you wear a seat belt because back then that car didn’t have a seat belt in it it didn’t even have a seat belt no I mean this is turning into a don’t tell Nana segment well Nana knows about all this stuff I choose to believe that I know everything that my kids are doing and that they’re it’s all above board it’s probably not true oh yeah I’m sure some things will come to light yeah yeah you’ll probably learn something yeah when they’re about 30 and they’ll come in one day and y’all be sitting down at the table and Christmas or doing something and then just all of a sudden said you know I didn’t never tell you this and then they’ll come unto you say oh my God why didn’t you borrow you thinking about I’m glad you survived you know it’s like that’s put some years in between it becomes a funny story but oh yeah you’re right you weren’t a good example dad it well I got some people that thought it was a good example but they weren’t very smart [Laughter] [Music] midterm elections are coming up on November the 8th and a lot of you across the U.S will be voting on some pretty crucial spots in Congress Governors and special elections so vote like a beast is here to help go to vote likeabbeast.com to check your voting status rest or if you need to and stay informed for the midterm elections vote like a beast.com also has stickers for sale with 100 percent of our profits going directly to our partners at vote.org be your mythical best by supporting a great non-profit that helps all Americans exercise their right to vote foreign you got another email yeah I got one from Michael pankook he says what’s the difference between a nun at church and a nun in a bath all right what’s the difference between a nun at a church and a nun in a bath what one has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole I like a good nun joke that just wasn’t a good one foreign I think it probably burned yeah you know I’ve gotten soap in my pee hole you know the part of the penis that would talk if it was talking to my balls yeah it burns you don’t want soap in there it sounds like you’ve got some kind of infection I don’t have gonorrhea I’m trying to say I have gonorrhea no I just said well then what what kind of infection what what other kind of infection makes your weiner burn you may have a urinary tract infection when you pee it hurts when it comes out I guess I guess maybe I’ve had one of those that’s why you’re supposed to pee after sex well I I think I probably do that so I’m I’m right on course since right you know in the shower have you peed in the shower yet I need an update no I ain’t paid in the shower hey it’s run across my mind in the last week you know getting in and out of there but let it run across your feet man I want to hear what it’s like well I yeah I don’t know if I’m not gonna let this cross my feet if I do it but uh you know I’m gonna pee before it goes down the drain like he was talking about you’ll never go back you’re going to thank me okay I got another email from Caden Anthony he said can you talk about what different kind of jobs you’ve had over the years and why you decided to hang your hat on painting I I love this question is there one is there one in mind that you want to talk about well probably the best job I you know you’re talking about you we talk about doing stuff that you like and you love and you you and Rhett’s fortunate enough to be able to do something that you like and love Yeah well my first real job was farming and raising the back and boy I loved it better than a hog little slot I’m telling you it didn’t make no difference what was it about it what why why was it your jam hey I just love sitting on a tractor it whether I was breaking land or Destin and plowing the bike or whatever and smelling that fresh turned dirt I mean it that’s probably that’s one of the best smells he is in this world this when you turn that over and and just growing something in from a seed putting it on and growing that seed into a plant and then planting that plant and planting a field and growing it up before you had to harvest it and then cure it out and carry it to tobacco market I mean yeah and then they roll it into a cigarette and it kills people yeah that’s really satisfying well you know me I have never smoked I did try one one time and I didn’t like it but uh I chewed tobacco for a long time I tried to support the tobacco market and then I finally decided that wasn’t a good thing either but I mean but culturally it was it was an honest living yeah and it was I mean it was viewed differently oh yeah back then yeah so that that was your favorite job and then the asthma said why’d you hang your hat hat on painting and I said it come right down to you know I’m working for myself and if I don’t want to work for somebody I ain’t got to work for I’m in more control than y’all when you have an answer to somebody else and yeah don’t get me started on control I love some control but I I would think just like farming like from start to finish there’s something satisfying about taking the ownership of a of a job and saying I mean because I think you’re a perfectionist too that like you you get something done the way you want it and you’re satisfied with it oh yeah but I like this question Kaden very good question we’ll save your other other jobs for for another day because I know you got a slew of jobs I got one more email from Adrian miladoni wow Sid what did the egg say to the boiling water I’m I’m headed your way you’re gonna make me hard is it a sexual joke yeah you getting yeah you you’re getting close it’s sexy yeah you’re gonna make me so hard and then I’m gonna get that I’m gonna be like yellow in the middle that’s kind of close but you you got the first part right but it said it’ll take me a minute to get hard because I just got laid by a chick yeah there’s a there’s a recovery time you gotta wait a little bit I mean you just can’t rebound that quickly it takes a little time right oh yeah it takes a minute yeah going back and forth so I thought that was kind of cute yeah getting laid by a chick yeah that’s cute it’s gonna take me a minute because I just got laid by a chick yeah that’s cute that’s your definition of cute now it’s time for a word from our sponsor we ain’t getting paid for it but we’re gonna sponsor a place called hamburger Joe’s it’s 7 12 48th Avenue South North Myrtle Beach South Carolina let me tell you something if you want a good hamburger cheeseburger anything you want down there that they got but they got some good cheeseburgers but when you go down and get one of them cheeseburgers look up on that menu and get these about six of them chicken wings they got and get you some of that gold don’t get to mild and don’t get the hot sauce hot mess you like hot hot get that Gold Rush sauce and put on them chicken wings and man man you won’t go hungry and it is so good so good so just going down there to Hamburger Joe’s order you a cheeseburger you can go ahead and get you some fries with it and they got a lot of stuff they got hot dogs they got bologna sandwiches but you hey you can’t mess with the cheeseburgers and the chicken wings so just try it out and come on down here to Hamburger Joe’s and enjoy yourself and get you get you a good cheeseburger down here and you will enjoy it hamburger Joe man I’m getting hungry [Music] hey link you remember a while back we did a role play thing and I thought maybe we might ought to try try and do something like that again yeah yeah I love it I love it yes not in an elevator this time it’s time for another edition of let’s role play what do you want to do well I I thought we might uh have a little talk like when you was growing up or maybe when I was growing up with somebody else and a father and son have the birds and the bees talk okay oh man okay um I’ll be the dad and you be you be the little boy he’s in fifth grade let’s let’s son I’m glad that you that you have some spare time on your hands so that we can have a special talk now I’ve already taught you how to wipe your ass and now I’m gonna teach you how to make babies you’re interested in that well yeah I’m interested in it but I probably already know a little bit more about it and you do but you know come on help me out dad what do you mean by that son you already know about the birds and the bees well you know with the way TV is now and things for you when you go to school and you know you got little people that’s you can make friends with that’s a little bit older than you are and some of them just know more about what’s going on around them then you know what the rest of us do so they’re talking and we’re listening trying to pick up on what’s going on so you know I find out a little bit about you it seems that I’ve waited too long I’ve been delinquent in my father duties you know you might could be able to explain some stuff to me you know what do you what what is your understanding how do birds make bees well uh uh it’s kind of like you and Mom you know uh you know our bedrooms ain’t far from y’all’s bedrooms and I I have heard them uh headboard hitting on the back of the wall back there that’s because we hang a lot of um your mother likes to hang a lot of pictures on the walls and she’s always changing her mind she’s like oh yes right there right there and then I once I get it right where I think she wants it and she’s like I changed my mind I want it over here give it give it to me over here just like nice and nice and high a little lower that’s what we’re doing son we’re hanging we’re hanging pictures repeatedly so you hanging pictures repeatedly but so is is that how I came to be y’all was hanging pictures that’s right son that’s why you have such a fondness for pictures oh being hung in a level way okay well it’s been nice having this talk that maybe we all just go get a cheeseburger yeah thank you that was tough that was tough it’s not it’s not an easy conversation to have when you have the talk the kid does immediately think okay it’s like this is how I was made so this is what you did so it’s less about like what I can do and it’s more about what my parents did once you get over that it’s like let’s not make this about me and your mom but let’s not make this about you and your date either let’s not talk about this ask your friends about it you know watch some television we we had some times when we at Nana and Papa’s house and me and Teresa sitting around and all of us eating and you know how Nana was about bringing season and Tracy said well Mama we need to watch out was doing the whole time and we could hear y’all with the headboard hitting on the wall we need we need what y’all was doing because we stayed in a little small house yeah and now Mama used to say Lord I didn’t know y’all could hear us so it was kind of funny it’s not something you dwelt on though but you were aware of it oh yeah we’re fortunate enough our bedroom is on the opposite side of the house from all the other all the other beds in the house and it’s upstairs too yep yep that’s something I tell you when you’re when you’re thinking about like having a family or if you got like older kids and you’re like shopping for a house you need to think about things like that or just saying you know what everybody’s gonna know and they’re just gonna have to live with it they gonna learn one way or the other they’re gonna learn one way or another it should just make sure the door’s locked you know it’s one thing to hear it’s another thing to walk in yeah that’s right hanging pictures on the wall hanging pictures on the wall well it looks like we’ve about run out of time this week but we covered a lot of good ground a lot of different kinds of ground too so I’m telling you but we’ve had another good time we’ve been swinging uh different stores around and everything going on but won’t all of you to come on back next Thursday and uh we’ll be doing a another show on the podcast where you could listen to it and hashtag dfmb I’ll put that out there if you if you got a joke a question a comment just email me at rather and be shagging it 53aol.com we’re safely answer your question and swing you around in this old world that we’re swinging around in and have a good time and just enjoy one another so can’t wait for the next one I’ll see you next week link so and I love you I love you too but that’s not see that’s not what I didn’t want to have to ask I’m gonna do it this way you’re gonna you’re gonna wait to give me the ball yeah yeah I’m gonna wait another time and and ask to how your balls is doing okay love you too foreign you about the new season of Trevor talks too much do it host and mythical kitchen soft boy Trevor evarts yeah started off this season off with a special solo episode and he’s back in better than ever be sure to follow And subscribe check out season one of Trevor talks too much where he talks to your favorite musicians influencers and Gamers just about anything okay available anywhere you get your podcast yeah you ever met Trevor no I don’t think so you’ll meet him at mythicon you’re gonna have to tell them that they’ve been they’ve been getting you to call him a soft boy this whole time so oh you’re whenever you meet him I said oh you’re the one I’ve been calling a soft boy [Laughter] that is hilarious you got are you gonna listen to his podcast yeah I am now nah probably not [Music] just let it roll let’s let it rolls and it rolls to see yeah see yeah see yeah