DFMB 148: The Neal Family’s Most Ridiculous Fight

This is Dispatches from Myrtle Beach with Charles Neil and my son Link from Good Mythical Morning. How you doing, son? >> I’m trying to get into the spirit. I’m trying to get into the holiday spirit, >> you know. >> I’m checking my list twice to see if you’re naughty or nice, Dad. You’ve been naughty. >> Uh, I don’t think so. Uh, >> you’ve been the good you’ve been You haven’t been the bad kind of naughty, but you’ve been the good kind of naughty. >> Yeah, I’ve been I’ve been I think I’ve been pretty good. So, uh, yeah. >> All right. >> I know it’s getting cold down there. >> You You’ll have to, uh, call Nancy and ask her that question. She can tell you whether or not I’ve been naughty or nice, right? Quick. >> Yeah. And I know, you know, uh, people have been sending lots of well wishes in for Nancy. So, um, next week you should have an update on that front. >> That would be correct. NY’s procedure and surgery and everything. And >> so, um, thank y’all for all the support and love that you keep sending dad and NY’s way. It’s it’s very much appreciated. >> So, uh, yeah, we’ll expect an update next episode. So, I guess you uh and it won’t be long for you’ll get to see uh Lincoln and Living Color again. It’s about time >> for that to him to have to come back home. >> He’s not coming home though. We He said if if we want to meet him, we got to meet him in Japan. Okay. >> And he’s nowhere near Japan. He’s been nowhere near Japan. >> He’s been in um >> uh he’s been in Prague, >> but we are we’re we’re spending Christmas and New Year’s in Japan, >> and the plans are coming together. And he’s going to fly directly there when he’s done with his semester and meet us. Lily’s not actually Lily’s not coming on this trip because >> she’s got uh too many work. >> She’s in the she she’s in the real world having to uh >> have to She’s not as flexible as she used to be. >> No, she’s not >> kind of normal. >> Yep. >> Yeah. >> Yep. Can’t make them all, >> but um I mean that’s a that’s a few weeks away, but we are getting we’re getting close to it, you know. So, I’m getting very excited about that. And uh yeah, seeing Lincoln. >> Well, everything else besides it’s it’s got cold here. So, um >> I heard I mean when it’s in the the the 20s if it’s if you’re That’s tough. You didn’t move to the beach for that. >> The beach here in the 30s. Yeah. 20 like 28 or 29 in the 30s. M >> uh hey, it that’s cold here. >> Yeah, that ain’t that’s not what you signed up for. >> No. Well, but it’ll warm back up. It’ll get back warm again. >> Your your house doesn’t have a fireplace. >> Yes, >> it does. >> Well, it has a fireplace with gas logs in it. >> Oh, yes. >> Yeah. I thought that was fake. >> No. >> Sorry, Dad. I just didn’t look that closely. No, they Well, you ain’t never been here when it was cold and you had to turn them on. >> And I do not plan on it >> cuz what good is My little beach that cold? I mean >> Yeah. Who would want who wants to come to the beach when it’s 29 or 30? I mean, yeah. >> Come when it’s 70 or 80. >> Exactly. >> So, >> you need to you need to have you need to get a winter place. >> You need to you need to what do they call them? Snowboards. snowbirds out in the desert. >> I believe no, I believe I can tough out two or three months here when it, you know, usually by first of March, it’s back getting pretty warm here. So, uh I’m I’m good. I don’t need me a winter place. >> All right. >> Uh >> come out here. I’ll send you out to the desert. >> Of course, the desert gets cold out here, too. >> Cold. Cold in the night, too. We got what they call the high desert. It’s got some elevation. >> Okay. >> So, it would Don’t put it past our high desert to get some snow. Actually, >> oh, >> once in a once in a blue moon. What you got for us today, Dad? The Myrtle beasts are they’re tuning in. They’re like, “Man, what’s Charles got for us today?” And I feel the same way. I don’t I just don’t know. >> I got this thing from Nolan. He sent us in some riddles and he wants us to try to solve them. Well, who who does he think I am? Bilbo Baggins? >> I don’t know. But uh >> are are you known for solving riddles? >> Uh, absolutely not. >> I mean, we’ve done this before and I don’t think we developed a reputation of success, but all right, let’s see. >> We’re going we’re gonna do better this time. >> All right. Okay. Because you know the answers. >> I don’t know. Let’s see. I got to read them. It says, “How many months have 28 days?” >> Okay. >> 12 days. 28 days. February has 28 days. >> 28. >> Yeah. But every month’s got 28 days in it. >> Did you get it? Is that it? >> Yeah. >> He doesn’t. Yes. >> Yeah. I know. Fe. But is that is that the answer? Who has the answers? >> I I’ve got the answers. >> Okay. Well, how many months do you have 28 days? >> All of them. >> All of them. >> 12. >> What about exactly 28 days? One. >> One. >> Well, in one every four years, it has 29. >> There you go. See? All right. Fine. All right. I fell for that one. You did. >> Okay. >> One point for dad. >> Okay. I don’t know. Let’s see which which is heavier a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks. Pound of feathers. I mean I mean a pound of bricks is uh >> I would think would be heavier but uh >> than what but I don’t know >> a pound of bricks is heavier than what >> a pound of feathers >> because a pound of bricks weighs how much? Uh, I don’t know how much a pound of bricks weighs. >> Okay. What about a pound of feathers? How much do a pound of feathers weigh? >> Uh, I don’t think he could weigh a pound of feathers. It’s tough to say, isn’t it? So, you don’t know how much a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers weigh? >> There’s no way to know. Well, I mean, uh, >> what if what if somebody told you that a pound of feathers weighed a certain amount? Would you believe them or would you >> I I don’t see how a pound they got to weigh a little something where there’s >> two oz or three, but I mean, they don’t weigh. >> So, you think a pound of feathers weighs two or three ounces? >> Yeah, I guess. Yeah. >> Okay. All right. And what about a pound of bricks? How much does the pound of bricks weigh? >> Uh, well, maybe I’m reading this wrong. I got to read it. >> Just read it closer. >> I mean, if I told you that a pound of bricks weighed, I don’t know, a pound, would you believe me? Uh, what if I told you that a pound of feathers weighed a pound? Would you believe me? Well, let me ask you this. have to read none. I I don’t >> How much does a pound of ters weigh? >> A pound? >> Oh, really? Oh, really? >> Yeah. >> What about a pound of corn? >> So, a pound of bricks weighs a pound of weighs a pound and a pound of feathers weighs a pound. >> Yeah. >> Come on. I know I didn’t get the last one, the 28 days, >> but I didn’t not get it as bad as you did not get this one. I’m just tell I should get two points. >> Might be correct. You You get them. Yeah. >> How did you miss that, Dad? A pound. Which one weighs more? A pound of feathers or a pound of bricks? >> You said how he got it. >> Why did Why did ters unlock it? How much How much would a pound of tater? I mean, if it was a pound of feathers or a pound of ters, would you have gotten it instantly? Something about ters, >> huh? >> I mean, cuz I buy potatoes. I don’t buy pounds of feathers and pounds of bread. >> So, what’s the answer to the riddle, Dad? Which weighs more? >> It’s a pound. >> No. Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks? >> Both of them. So neither neither we weigh the same. >> They weigh the same thing. >> Okay. There you go. Yeah. Well, you got that one. >> No, you got No, you got that one. >> Is that it? >> No, I got one more. >> It’s my turn to be stupid again. >> And I’m going to be stupid on this. We keep passing stupid back and forth. I mean, I hope there’s not enough stupid to go around so that we have to keep passing it back and forth. You know, we just can’t afford to both have a pound of stupid. You know what I’m saying? >> Yeah, cuz it just a pound. >> So, listen. So, well, let’s see who gets the stupid. Let’s see. A rooster lays an egg on the top of the roof. On top of a roof. >> Okay. Which side does it roll down? What are our options? Is it multiple choice? >> Oh, hey, roosters don’t lay eggs. >> Ah, >> that’s it. That’s it. Nobody got stupid in this time cuz I I swear I knew that rooers don’t >> I swear I swear guys ters weigh a pound. Roosters don’t lay eggs. >> I don’t know it. I mean did you know that Logan? Did the stupid hit you in that one or >> I can’t I I already saw the answer so I can’t say. >> All right. Probably >> Bruce. So all of these were gotcha questions. I don’t I don’t Who is this from? Nolan. >> Nolan, I don’t like you trying to trap us with I with the stupidity that’s going around. We know it’s in it’s in the room and sometimes it lands on one of us and I don’t like I don’t like you inviting that stupidity to come and land on us. Let’s get rid of that. >> Well, Nolan, it was pretty intriguing to me. I mean, I thought we me and Link did pretty well at it. Yeah, we didn’t. No, we didn’t. We did bad, Dad. >> Well, I got two out of three. >> Okay, >> that’s true. >> Yeah, you did get the majority, but the one in the middle, you missed. >> Well, you got it two. You got two out of three, too. And I mean, >> yeah, >> after reading in not getting all of them, >> I don’t know. It’s It’s kind of It’s kind of past fail, you know? I think we’re in one of those places where >> Well, I Nolan, I hope you had a good time when you get to watch this to see how it went. So, >> we made it out alive, but we don’t look great, >> you know. >> Sometimes I ain’t the smartest fella in the room anyway. So, I mean, >> yep. >> But sometimes I am smart. So that’s just the way I think I think you can’t take all this stuff personally, son. I mean, >> I don’t I I’m fine with it. I’m just trying to be realistic about So sometimes you’re not the smartest person in the room, but sometimes you are smart. >> It depends on who else is in the room. >> That would be correct. >> It’s it’s all relative. I’m smart. >> I mean, that’s it. That’s the quote right there. >> Sometimes I’m not the smartest person in the room. Sometimes I am smart. It depends on who’s in the room. >> That’s right. >> It’s It’s relative. Smart is relative. >> That That would be correct. Yeah. Okay. I don’t even get me on that. >> Well, oh, you that’s that’s a tenant. That’s a core belief of yours that smart is relative. >> What do you mean don’t get I want to get you going on it. go. >> Some some some people uh that you try to have a conversation with just think they know it all. >> Oh, yeah. Oh, don’t don’t get me started. And uh and sometimes, you know, I try to be nice and u and tell them said just kind of nod my head, >> listen to what they say and then sometimes I just can’t take it no more and say, “Listen, I don’t know where you get your ideas from and where you what you you think that is.” But that’s about the dumbest thing I ever heard. So >> sometimes you just got to let Rhett have it. I mean, anybody have it? Got to tell them straight. >> I’m not going to call any names like you just cuz some of them might be watching. So, >> yeah, me neither. >> I don’t know. >> Pound of feathers. >> Yeah. Which one’s heavy? Pound of feathers or pound sinker on now? >> No. >> Rooster. >> Yeah. Me that >> roosters and ters. My dad is gonna gonna get you months. If you got calendars, if you got roosters and ters, smartest in the room, >> you know, it must probably because you said ters, it must be some cuz I like to eat. >> Yeah. A pound of ters weighs a pound. No doubt. No, >> you know how eating well during the holidays feels like a full-time job. Between the cookie swaps, the late night parties, and the old just try a bite moments, balance is tough. That’s why I use factory chef prep dietitionian approved meals to keep me feeling energized and sane during the most indulgent time of the year. I use this and you should too. What I love is that Factor completely outperforms regular meal kits. Instead of chopping and cooking and cleaning, these arrive fully prepared, ready to eat in just 2 minutes. And the variety is wild. Every week, you can choose from tons of meals, including premium seafood like salmon and shrimp, all at no extra cost. Factor also makes it easier to support your wellness goals. 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That’s unlimited access to 25 language courses for life. Visit roettastone.com/dispatches to get started and claim your 50% off today. Give a gift that keeps giving. Go to rosettastone.com/dispatches and start learning today. That was a lot of G’s. It’s time for another edition of What in the Hell is this doohickey? >> All right. So, you got to we’re going to show you a picture and we’re going to see if we know what this is. All right. Now, >> okay, >> we’re going we we just have a handful of these. So, you tell me what it is. I see. Of course, I got to see if I know what it is, too. No guarantees that I know. Okay. But what is this, Dad? >> Well, it says the life of a showgirl. >> Well, I this the showgirl thing makes me thinking uh the girls that do that dance and uh God, I’m trying to in unison and all that stuff on a stage and all that. Uh, >> and girls who do dancing in unison on a stage. >> Oh, >> like when they kick their legs up. >> Yeah. Uh, >> the rockets. >> Okay. But there’s only one there’s only one in this picture. >> One person. >> Yeah, that would be correct. Yeah. So, >> well, the life of a show girl in this p I would think is maybe somebody that uh works at a strip club and >> Yeah. >> makes a living taking their clothes off. >> Okay. All right. And um >> and most of them get paid pretty well for it. >> Okay. It’s usually small bills though, I think. Well, it’s just according to how good they are. >> Oh. Uh, okay. And do you recognize this particular rocket or showgirl? >> Oh, good god. That that’s uh uh I hate to say this, but >> uh Travis Kelce’s fiance. Ah. And she So, you don’t remember this stripper’s name? Is that what you’re saying? >> No, I don’t remember. >> So, but are you taking back Are you saying this is not a stripper? >> Well, I don’t think so. She It’s one of >> uh God, what’s her name? I can’t I don’t know. I’m having a blank. It starts That’s her. >> It starts with a T. Yeah. Uh, starts with a T. >> What’s a What’s a woman’s name that starts with a T? >> Teresa. >> Is that No. >> No. >> Last name starts with a S. >> Lord. Um, >> okay. Let’s It is a stripper. I don’t know. Next. >> No, it ain’t. That’s uh >> Taylor Swift. >> She Taylor Swift putting her new album out. See, there you go. All right. It is an album. All right. What’s this next doohickey? This one’s a little more obscure. Uh different kind of speakers >> that you get music from or >> And where would you put them? Where do they go? >> I ain’t got the SL different parts of the room, I guess. I don’t know. >> Put one over here. Put one over there. >> Yeah, >> you need to have It’s kind of like reading glasses, right? >> Yeah. >> In what way? >> You need one in uh each part of the room so you don’t have to hunt for them, >> right? Wherever you go, there’s one right there. Is that what you’re saying? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, where would you I mean, with these four, where would you put them >> if I got them for you for Christmas? Where’d you put these four? >> Uh, one in the living room, one in the kitchen, one in the bedroom, and one in the bathroom. Yep. That way you you There’s always one in arms reach. >> Yep. >> Or earshot. >> Yeah. Ear shot. Yeah. We Yeah, >> that’s right. >> So, what are they? >> And if you put it up to your ear, it get, you know, you can really hear it. No, you’re right. You got it. >> Yeah. Everything’s a speaker these days. And finally, >> uh, Spongebob and Squarepants. >> Spongebob and Squarepants >> or something. I’ve seen this thing on TV on some stuff, but just I guess just Spongebob, but I don’t know if that’s him or not. I can’t remember. I don’t watch. But >> right, >> his pants are a bit squared. >> Spongebob and square pants. >> Yeah. >> Can you describe it for those who are just listening? >> It’s a cartoon character with a set of uh coveralls on. >> Mhm. And he’s got three little fingers with he’s got black gloves on. He’s got three fingers and he’s got uh and he’s then he’s yellow with a nice pretty smile and he’s got little hair follicles coming out off his head on the top. Yeah. >> And then he’s got a big pair of looks like would be safety glasses that are round. >> Okay. goggles or something. >> And then then his brown eyes in the middle of the safety glasses. >> And your guess as to who this is is who? >> Spongebob Squarepants. >> Okay. I thought you said Spongebob and Squarepants. >> Spongebob and Squarepants. >> I did say that, but I mean >> Well, this is the first one you got wrong. This is a Minion. >> A Minion. >> Yep. from Despicable Me movies. Very cute, very funny. >> Go back to the last one because we robbed people of your description of this. So, describe >> uh these you was going to do that. Um these are I don’t know what little emblems on the top of them. There’s four of them. And they’re different sizes. And you can I said they were speakers, but they they have a pointed orphice on the top of them. And they kind of slope and get bigger as they go down. And they then they when they go down so far, they’re narrowed on down and go down like a set of hips down at the bottom of them. And uh you might could do things with these things that we can’t talk about on dispatches from Myrtle Beach. So >> So now you get So you don’t think that I’m being truthful and telling you that this is these are speakers that go around your house? >> Well, I didn’t say that. I just said you had me say something about what they were like. And I don’t know. To me, they look they look like a kind of a speaker, but they got different oblique things to go with them that >> Well, Dad, I’m I need to confess something. >> Okay, >> this is not a speaker. These aren’t speakers. >> Oh, well, I it they could have speaker functionality. I don’t know. But if they did, they would be internal speakers. It’d be like putting a speaker inside of your body, which isn’t a bad idea. >> Okay. >> So, these things vibrate. >> Some could. Yes. >> Okay. >> But they don’t even have to. And they’re different sizes. And it’s And it could be for you. >> Oh, it can. >> Mhm. I don’t. Okay. >> Everybody’s got Yep. Nope. I’m not I’m telling you the truth. >> Okay. >> Just Just next next time you go to your living room or your bathroom or your bedroom or keep one in a car if you need to. >> Okay. It’s a plug. They call it a plug for a certain place. It’s a plug for a place. You know what I’m saying? >> I Yeah, I guess. Uh, >> just bend over. >> Okay. >> See what I’m saying? >> Yeah, I see what you’re saying. >> Drop yourself. >> Big plugs, small plugs, >> middlesize plugs, all kind of plugs. >> Yes. But Bluetooth technology to uh pipe in some music. Good idea, Dad. Good idea. >> Bluetooth butt plug speaker. >> Minions love them. >> Minions. >> It’s how to keep them docil. How to keep them docil. It’s time for another edition of Don’t Tell Nana. >> Well, you did you did pretty good. Now that we’re now that we’re on on this train, why don’t you tell me a a story? >> Well, I I I got a story I can tell you about. Uh I was thinking the other day, we always thinking about stuff that happens with Nana. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. and goes on and I don’t know it’s been I don’t know it’s probably been six or seven years ago NY’s mo when NY’s mom and daddy was living they had a big garden up there that had a bunch of butter beans in it and they they didn’t want any more butter beans out of it so we carried NY’s Toyota pickup up there >> okay >> we pulled all the butter beans up and put them in the back of her pickup. And I mean, we had the back of her pickup all the way full to the top window and I had to push them down and put a tarp over them to get them down the road. >> Okay. >> And so we would we and I think we had kind of called and a day or so before and asked Nana said, “Nana, do you want some butter beans?” and she said, “Oh, I’d love to have some butter beans.” So that’s what we went and we backed up in mama and daddy’s driveway at the back where the carport was at. And I had called and told mom, I said, “You need to move the cars out of the way in daddy’s pickup. So we unloaded all them butter beans out, spread them out where they wouldn’t go through a heat and had them laying on the thing.” And this is when Papa couldn’t see very well. >> Okay. So, you laid them out on the concrete and the carpet. >> Under the carpet. Yep. >> Okay. >> And and Nana was tickle slammed to death. I don’t mean to tell you cuz she was going to have some butter beans and pick them off the vine, carry them, have them shell. Well, this weren’t a good idea cuz my daddy and your granddaddy come out the door and and they had been doing a bunch of garden stuff anyways. Yeah. >> And he was about fed up with garden >> and he come out the door and he said, “Just what in the world do you think you’re doing?” He said, “You get them butter beans and put them back in that truck and get them out of here.” I mean, don’t leave them here. And me and Nancy was kind of just standing there with our hands up in our hair and like and Nana turned around and said, “Lincoln, you might as well just go back in the house. All we got to do is just pick these butter beans off the vine. We going to carry them, get them shell. You ain’t got to shell none of them. Then we going to put them up. So, you might as well just go right on back in the house cuz these butter beans ain’t going nowhere and I’m the one that wanted them and they brought them to me. So, you might as well go on somewhere else. And so, uh, the the patriarch come out again and daddy went back in the house. >> Matriarch. >> And he was he was a he was a he was still fussing. >> Yeah. And then he called he called me the next day and he said, “Well, you know, I don’t know what I was fussing about.” He said, “All we had to do was pick these butter beans off the vine.” It was like your mama said that her and Teresa carried them up and had them shelled at the butter bean shell. And so we’ll have some good butter beans to eat, but so but to start with, >> it won’t going to happen with him. But, uh, Nana Nana let him know that they was going and I mean I mean we I think we picked like four rows of butter beans and they were long rows and put them in the truck and they got a they put up probably I think about 20 or 30 packs of butter beans up and froze them. So, >> but he didn’t want her or you signing him him up for all that work. >> That would be correct. But when Nana came in with, you know, she she overrode. She had the power to do that. >> Send him back in the house. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. She had she had she’s always had the power to send anybody back in the house if they weren’t if they weren’t saying the right thing >> or send them out of the house. >> Or send them out if she’s in there. Listen, just go on outside. If you going to talk like that, you know what? We’re out here. If you’re going to talk like that, go back inside. >> You need to have some alone time. If you going to if you going to c try to cross me, not going to happen. >> Yeah. >> Mhm. So, we don’t need to tell Nana that. I mean, it seems like she knew all of that that whole story. She was there for it. But we don’t need to bring it up because that’s >> them stuff about, >> you know, with daddy and >> them fighting with each other, >> you know, disagreeing and and all that stuff. So yeah, that yeah, we probably need to. But you know what? She might would get a kick out of that. >> Okay. Well, but we’re not giving anybody listening permission to tell Nana that we still >> No, >> we have the right to tell Nana whatever we need to tell her. But that’s not something that any myrtle beast who might know somebody who knows somebody could do. Just want to be clear about that. >> Okay. >> I don’t like butter beans, by the way. I don’t want to. I would have been like, “Get these out of here. I don’t need these. I don’t like butter beans. >> I don’t like I don’t like it. >> It’s gross. It’s like a It’s like having little pods when you bite into it. It’s like there’s hummus in there. I don’t know. It’s like I don’t like the cons the texture of a It’s like if if it’s like a you know when one of those ticks crawls on a dog and just sucks all the blood inside of it and it gets nice and plump and big and it looks like a damn butter bean and then if you bit into it and hummus came out of it. That’s what a butter bean is. It’s a It’s a bloated tick full of hummus. >> No, it ain’t m >> That’s why I don’t like butter beans. >> Yeah, >> there’s no butter in it. There’s no butter in it. >> You got my hopes up with butter. I like butter >> and I I could like a bean. >> I’m more of a field pee guy, but >> I I a green bean, a string bean, uh a baked bean. Yeah. >> Well, what about what what about a edetammani? >> It I like a edetto edetammani. >> Well, that’s about the same thing as a butter bean, but it ain’t been cooked. So what you talking about? You’re trying to tell me that a etamani is a Asian butterbean. >> I would I would you know it episode I had >> I’m saying a butterbean is a Mediterranean tick. That’s what I’m saying. And you’re saying that amani >> is an Asian butterbean? >> That’s what I’m saying. >> So you may not never eat one of them again either. But they’re not full of hummus. Edammani is not full of hummus. It’s got a It might have a little bit of hummus in it, but not not like an overwhelming amount of hummus. >> Well, we’ll have to just see. >> Yeah. >> What do you mean we have to see? How are we going to see? >> You going to You’re going to drop off a bunch of butter beans at my house and spread them out on the carport? No, I’m just going to bring you some butter beans and cook them and then get some edetami to put side of it and say, “See, it’s the same thing, but it just it’s just >> we’re going to have >> butter beans and edam money.” >> Maybe that that’s a that’s something you and uh I I I’ll call Mythical Entertainment and tell them to do you a blind taste testimony and cook butter beans. See which one is what. >> All right, then. All right. I guess we will see. >> Well, looks like we’ve got into enough uh butter beans and >> yes, >> you don’t like them and >> we got into plenty and everything. But, uh it it’s been a good day again and it was fun having you all here with us today and we’ll be back next week for another one. And don’t forget to follow and subscribe wherever you get your podcast and on YouTube. And while you’re at it, rate and review us on Apple Podcast. And if you got a question, comment, or story you’d like to share with me, email me at ratherbaggin 53aol.com. And y’all have a great rest of your week. We hope it’s filled with butt plugs and butter beans just like ours was. Good work, Dad. Ho ho ho ho. >> Love you. >> Love you, too. Stream holiday marathons of Good Mythical Morning on Mythical 247. Tuesdays on Amazon, Roku, Samsung TV Plus, and more.

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