[Music] [Applause] [Music] thank you this is dispatches from Myrtle Beach with Charles Neal and my son link Neil from Good Mythical Morning and this is our last episode of the year and we’re gonna uh we all we dressed in red and Christmas costs I don’t know if that’s a costume will not linked but it’s a sweater it’s a sweater yeah so you you’re looking good but I you surprised me the last episode I got a surprise for you this one we we’ve all been pretty sick the last two or three weeks oh really and everything so I got my Municipal person purpose stuff right here with me your what Municipal Municipal person yeah it looked like a bottle of Fireball to me that’s what it is and and I’m taking a drink to you and dispatches from Myrtle Beach and me and Danny both got one right here so that we don’t keep don’t be coughing during this episode oh so here’s to you summon Merry Christmas to y’all and all the beasts from dispatches and everything and everybody got a can I still don’t know what you call the fireball a municipal something it’s uh Municipal not not it’s medicinal medicinal you’re trying to say medicinal yeah but you know something that’ll help with stuff without having to go to the grocery store like you know if you’re drinking liquor and you say I’m just drinking this for municipal persons purposes [Laughter] okay medicinal purposes okay yeah yeah not okay Municipal I’m sorry but whatever yeah that’s right whatever no need to apologize for anything yeah I mean you caught my sweater a costume but check this out you see that oh and it lights up it lights up yeah so you got the fireball I got the lit up sweater we’re bringing it from every angle and that Nancy’s got one of them sweaters I might could have got it and it lights up she’s got one like that depending on how much how much of that Municipal Aid you use you might be getting into all the sweaters that’s right yeah so you’re in the holiday spirit I see I like it I like it yeah it looks like Christmas around here I’m telling you and the next time we see each other in person it’s gonna be right after Christmas like we’re coming in on uh I believe the 27th so we’re planning on having our the the Neil Honeycutt get together will be on the 28th right yep probably gonna eat about four o’clock okay and did we decide if it was going to be at Nana’s house or or what is it Nana’s house yeah did nana decide where it was going to be you Nana decided she didn’t you know she throwed that old gift trip on us again like you know I probably won’t be here next year so we’re gonna have it at my house so oh Lord that’s where we’re having it well it is a tradition it’s whatever she wants whatever trips are triggered that’s what we’re going to try to do that’s right we’re gonna we’re gonna trip her trigger this holiday season at her home yeah so we’re gonna we’re gonna celebrate Christmas Eve Christmas day uh uh in Los Angeles and then flying out there to see y’all so we’re we’re looking forward to it but uh I got a holler at a link from uh Casey Smith okay this is one of those holler outs that touches home a lot of times with what we do and what it says and it says ever since I lost my folks holidays have been super weird sometimes I spend them with other family most recently with my brother and his family which I love don’t get me wrong I just wanted to say thanks for giving me new last this year hearing you two tell each other love you at the end of every podcast does so much good to my heart sending all my love this season to you both thank you Casey holler out in the Casey but Casey said my co-workers and I all listen to your podcast every Thursday like clockwork our headphones are on listening at the beginning of the day I’d love to give them a holler at from you both because I am broke and can afford a cool office holiday gift they are Jake Lucas at Rocket Distributing Jake and Lucas we’re gonna give a holler out to Jake and Lucas at Rocket Distributing and hope you and them have a wonderful Christmas together and with your family and everybody and hope that you know people understand that sometimes just doing something very small for somebody and asking something like this means a whole lot more than having to give them a gift or do something so it’s very thoughtful that you have asked us to give them a gift from you and hope they enjoy enjoy it and just keep watching the podcast and see if we can’t do something that’ll keep you laughing and do it kind of and let you keep remembering in uh your parents in in a good way in a in at Christmas and other times of the year so we love you and hope you do well at Christmas and we’ll be talking to you you send us an email later on how things go and it’s rather be shagging53 at AOL.com yeah it is Casey thanks for sharing that uh yeah I I agree I mean when it comes down to the holidays and you always think about your like Nana says I mean your older relatives it’s like okay we got to make sure you make it special and then you never know who’s not going to be I need some Fireball dang what Logan why did why didn’t we get to look we need to get the fireball memo I know you knew about it 10 minutes ago okay 10 minutes ago she I ain’t gonna throw under the bus okay what was I saying I was saying something serious about older people and oh you never know you know who’s going to be at the Holiday table from year to year so you try to make the most of it and then you think about those who’ve lost people like like Mom you know with um this being the first Christmas without Lewis here it’s like we decided Well mom why don’t you fly out here spend Christmas with us is she spending Christmas with us so when we fly back on the 27th she’s flying back from LA with us so you know that’s that’s kind of how we thought about taking taking her under our wing you know but now that it’s our first Christmas without him and so Casey thanks for thanks for sharing that our hearts go out to you and uh Jake and Lucas at Rocket Distributing shout out holler out it’s time for another edition of Myrtle Beach mailbag I got a uh email from Jessie’s link that says why was the Snowman smiling why was the Snowman smiling well he’s got three balls but they make up his whole body am I on the right track is it balls related nope I don’t know what else give me a hint what kind of equipment do you use when it snows um a snow plow that’s close maybe not that quite that eccentric but you’re saying are you saying that my guesses are eccentric I mean it’s not that uh it’s not trying to get rid of that much snow to start with oh shovel snow shovel that’s a little less than what she’s saying is coming that’s coming I don’t know why is the Snowman smiling it’s got to be somewhere in between a snow shovel and a snow plow that’s right Sid he could see the snow blower coming down the street [Laughter] snow blower okay blower but why why did that make the Snowman smile then uh uh a written cause it had something to do with the the seeing the snow blower coming you’ve already said that though um do you know why do you know why this is funny dad I read because it the snowman’s gonna get blowed on get blowed on yeah okay I’ll accept that I’m not gonna press okay I’m not gonna press any harder and once you get blowed on then you’ve been blown that’s right okay yeah yes we are on the same page I got another one from Morgan it says had the Santa stay STD free oh Lord how does Santa say STD free now I think there is technically STI at this point now we’re trying not we’re trying not to say disease we’re trying to say infection did you know that did you know there’s been an update to the nomenclature no yep you’re supposed to call them STIs s-t-i yeah sexually transmitted infection all right because there’s not they’re not all diseases okay well I’ll go along with that but if she still said okay how does Santa stay s-t-i-free uh he keeps his he keeps his big blah dry that’s pretty close it says he always wraps his package before shoving it down the chimney oh this you said Santa I was still thinking about a snowman man between the two of us we cannot get a joke right well we try we are trying that was my bad I said I screwed it up that’s because you still got a hurt shoulder so you know when when that collarbone broke you know you maybe been trying to use that as an excuse it’s not it hasn’t been working well for anything yeah okay I got another email from Aston Louie okay this is really she’s asking you and me both and I think she’s destined to me this question says I’m looking to buy my 25 25 year old boyfriend a great Christmas gift for our first Christmas together the only criteria is that I need to be able to wrap it up and fit under my Christmas tree oh what is an awesome and Memorial tree for a guy in his mid-20s an awesome Memorial what gift gift for a guy in his mid-20s okay she don’t even have a budget as long as it’ll fit under the tree and she can wrap it that’s all she cares about that’s interesting that’s correct okay do you have any ideas oh yeah I got some ideas for somebody just 24 or 25 years old she just needs to go out and get a a nice thing at Victoria’s Secret oh and put it on put it on and get wrapped up under the tree with a little with all that little slinky stuff on and just wrap some ribbon around her and say hey baby this is what I got you for Christmas oh Dad Dad you dirty devil you’ve done it again wrap yourself up under the tree now so she’s gonna have to sleep under there so he can so when he wakes up and comes down Christmas mornings where were you oh hiding under the tree and you lingerie all night no she can do like me and Nancy we give us our Christmas presents on Christmas Eve so she needs to get ready and every what they’re doing on Christmas Eve oh yeah and get up under that tree so they so they have a memorial Christmas Eve and Christmas day oh yeah we want this thing to last out a long time will he he’ll remember for years and years he’s turning Christmas day into Memorial Day I like how you’ve been you’ve been throwing that word around a lot hey that’s a pretty good one I I’m I’m sure he would go for that you’re always one to facilitate a love connection I remember when um Christy and I got married we went on a honeymoon to Jamaica but when we got back from Jamaica we extended our honeymoon another week by doing what do you remember um no I don’t know it involved you I don’t I’m no I don’t you came to visit us I guess I don’t know you had a you had a camper oh yeah at the beach at the time yep yeah and so you said you guys can come back and you can extend your honeymoon by staying in my camper and it was at the beach wasn’t it yep I left it camping at the beach I just had to call and have them set it up on a spot down there that was very kind of you but you went a Step Beyond that and so if you don’t even remember doing it you won’t remember this part but I remember that when we stayed in the camper you said I got fresh sheets on the bed and now these aren’t just any type of sheet now oh yeah you remember this now hey I remember I remember now what them smooth silk sheets satin sheets yeah I got y’all some satin sheets on the bed and we were we we were sick we got like this bad sore throat on our honeymoon and so everybody started saying I think it must be a southern saying that they were like oh you’ve been Fanning the sheets yep that’s right yeah which is a euphemism for love making yeah that’s right so you gave us some some silk sheets to fan as we extended our honeymoon because I think y’all really got feeling a little better after you got back so you probably might have enjoyed the camper from when you did one in Jamaica yeah the second half of Jamaica we were we were in so much pain we were miserable but uh yeah you’re right we enjoyed uh Fanning those sheets in the camper so yeah you can you set people up for some for some good times I’m a romantic yeah yeah that’s right you’re a rose petals and Fireball kind of guy that’s right yeah yeah I like the Christmas Eve idea let’s go ahead and open our presents on Christmas Eve and why don’t you uh why don’t you take a step away for a minute come back in here give me 10 minutes so I could take off my clothes and situate myself under the tree you know when she can had a robe on you know telling them all that and then telling them to go out and get them a little drink or Toddy or something and then come on back in there and then she’d be down there like with the ribbon and the bow and say you want to unwrap your present well Ashton there’s nothing I can add to that that’s going to be better so uh I don’t know do you want an email follow-up to this one dad oh yeah we want a little we want to get to history if she wants to give it to us we want to hear I win anyway yeah we do yeah I reacted let us know yeah [Music] okay I got a another email from Cassidy it says what’s something you wish you were good at or would like to learn I I bought a I bought a guitar about eight or nine years ago I remember this and it’s still sitting on the stand in our bedroom is one of them uh Keith Urban guitars yeah I it was a Chris one Christmas we showed up and yeah it was years ago like I don’t know it was more than six years ago it’s been eight or nine years ago anyway you had it propped up by the fireplace and I was like Dad what is this you said it’s a Keith Urban guitar where did you get it I ordered it online from Keith Urban he sent any emails that rather be shagging no not yet that was a home shopping network type thing but we must like Keith Urban because that he’s the one that has got that new song that Texas time that we danced to it the mythicon well you know you’re not the only one who’s got a thing for Keith Urban my wife has the thing for Keith Urban oh I don’t know what’s up with that but I was definitely threatened by your guitar I was like maybe I need to take this thing is it Lincoln Orlando that plays the guitar at home they both play piano Lily’s the one who taught herself guitar so all three of them play piano and she can play guitar I like to get her to come out here and stay about a month and she teach me how to play to get tall I bought Lincoln a um an electric guitar I don’t know three or four Christmases ago and it hasn’t gotten much use yeah like mine yeah Martha shot though but he’s they’re all good on piano which I think that would be the instrument I I would wish I would know how to play because then it kind of leads to playing so much else which is why I got the kids to take lessons it’s a good foundation musically for any other direction they want to go I think that would be my choice Cassidy thanks for asking I got another email from Eric and says why is Christmas just like your job hold on a minute um he’s taking a sip of the Fireball it’s it’s empty now just about wow but I got a half a gallon in the freezer up there in the front of the house so don’t worry we got some more so it’s ice cold yeah for what for medicinal purposes tell me again what’s the what’s the joke Eric said why is Christmas just like your job well Eric I like Christmas oh this isn’t a joke this is a yeah it’s a it’s a joke oh okay but you’re gonna answer it first sure good idea well we’ll do the joke he says why is Christmas just like your job but he says you do all the work and the fat guy and the suit gets the credits that’s why I told my kids that Santa wasn’t real from the get-go yeah from the get-go I actually I said it for religious reasons I was like you know Christmas is about Jesus’s birthday it’s not about Santa Claus and presents so I’m not I’m gonna let him focus on that but I gotta tell you a little bit more than the ulterior motive was so that I could get credit for all the presents I got to be real yeah I gotta be real so we did Santa but they knew that the presents were for me I’m gonna say when they got to be nine or ten most of the time when kids go to school if they do things for real they know Santa Claus is not a real person you know it comes from Mama and Daddy about everything that’s there but then they just kind of go along with everything with it but I didn’t I didn’t find out until I was like 14 or 15. so what are you saying you were 14 to 15. you had some good friends that kept a secret a long time they must have thought Santa Claus was real too I don’t think I was 15 but I was I was the last to learn in my in my in my group well that’s all right you got to enjoying it like you wanted to would you mama and everything for all them years and all of us so it’s not a bad thing believing in Santa the children it’s a good thing gives them something to hope for and look forward to it just something they dangle over their heads to make him make him not be naughty that’s ridiculous I mean how many parents have actually followed through with not giving a naughty kid the presence I mean if they have the means they still give him the presents yeah they still give them they still give them the presents it’s a false it’s a fall so on many levels this is like Santa Santa’s not good dad he’s not good you’re talking about how well it gives them gives them hope and it gives them what what does he give him it’s fun it’s just fun period it’s fun that’s it yeah like we don’t we don’t need to coat this in something else like Santa Santa is fun in the story yeah it’s mythological fun just like the Easter Bunny that’s right no Easter Bunny is different now Easter Bunny is real I still believe in that Absolutely I’ll just leave him out of this now oh come on we ain’t leaving the Easter Bunny out if he if that ain’t real Easter Bunny can’t be real either we’re gonna go into that in the tooth fairies and everything else all that tooth fairy is the best one it’s like get pull that tooth let’s get this over with I am going to bribe you with money it’s a very simple transaction yeah like pull your tooth stop your nagging and complaining and you’re whining and you’ll get some money under your pillow in the store it’s very easy it’s a clean simple transaction I’m a fan all right we did your thing but uh as as for me I I like Christmas and like helping my wife decorate and I ain’t worried about the guy in the red suit I am the guy in the red sea oh now it’s time for a word from our sponsor we’re finally getting paid to do an ad well I don’t know I’m sorry when yeah I won’t go that far we ain’t getting paid yet okay go ahead me or you one is going to start doing better but people ask it what was one of my favorite Christmas gifts and I think it was last year Nancy give me six she gave me six golf lessons so I went and started taking these golf lessons right after Christmas with Jim and Jim looked at my golf club and said boy you need some new golf clubs he called me on the phone said who are you at and I said I’m buying these golf clubs he said put them back he had let me hit a set of golf clubs that was in his bag and it was a Callaway Apex golf clubs so we’re doing this for Callaway and Apex golf clubs all right so he said come up here to the other PGA store I got you a set of golf clubs a 1400 set of golf clubs for four hundred dollars what I said I’ll be right up there and if you play golf and had never hit one of these golf clubs with these these grips on them there’s some good swinging golf clubs because you you you can tell the difference from from a set that that you old set that you had a new set that you got how well it feels to hit a golf ball good so if you’re looking for a set of golf clubs try some of these Callaway Apex golf clubs and see if you like them nice see this could be I mean that’s that’s worthy of payment I mean we did we we got to figure out a way to you get paid for these ads good [Music] you know link because it’s Christmas I thought we might could just do a dirty Mad Lib of Twas the Night Before Christmas because this is our end of the year Christmas show okay so okay so so we’re gonna fill out we’re gonna replace words and make them dirty all right tis the season it’s time for our first edition of now how can we make this dirty then it’s going to write these down and the first one that we need is a plural item plural item okay all right I’ll do this one um testicles you like that is that good is that dirty enough for you yeah all right what’s the next one we need uh a plural noun that could be the same you know you got to come up with this one what’s something dirty that there’s multiple of well by what about the hairs on the the balls starts with a P the ales the L’s what is that well Santa’s got ales at Christmas elves yeah yeah but that’s not dirty I’m saying I have an answer for you okay but I want you to give this one what if it’s the hairs on the on your nut sack what’s that what are those called pubic hairs that’s good pubes let’s just go with pubes all right what’s the next one plural items okay let’s go in a different direction let’s not go anatomical what’s something dirty that there could be a lot of um things in the front yard what do you call them uh them blow up things like oh blow up sex dolls yeah in your front yard well I mean they put all this other stuff out in Christmas all right sex dolls a noun chode I actually don’t know what that is do you no I just know it’s dirty what do you say chode chode yeah no I know it’s dirty but I don’t know what it is maybe maybe the context of the story will tell us um what’s the next one uh adjective this is a word that Lando learned uh yesterday raunchy yeah that one will work all right what’s the next one name a name I don’t know what’s a good I guess a good stripper name Candy Okay Candy yep I guess that is all right we gotta do another name okay what’s a good I don’t know like a dirty pimp name it’s been a long time since I ain’t never been in the pimp been trying to remember that guy’s name that was on uh what did you just it’s been a long time since you’ve been into pimp what do you mean by that I don’t know I’m just trying to think of something hey man it’s been a long time since I’ve been independent let’s just go with pimp you like that Dad yeah the next one is plural item plural item lots of plural items that could be dirty um what are those things called that you put up your butt and they like they like this little and then it gets bigger and bigger anal beads I know oh you know what I’m talking about no but I that sounds anal beads is all right with me yeah me too and he’s got a a plural item that you can feel oh that you can feel well okay that’s not anal bead seal f-i-l-l oh feel uh Brazier oh yes braziers all right yeah fill them up a body part okay what about Rusty sheriff’s badge you ever looked at like a butthole and thought maybe it looks like a rusty sheriff’s badge absolutely not well take a look man okay means of Transport means of Transport how you make this dirty what’s a dirty means of Transport the Playboy plane oh yeah the Playboy plane okay past tense verb uh stroked another past tense verb Splat and then uh adjective I’ll let you come up with this last one what’s a dirty adjective I’d have to figure out what I added to BS before I did that but it’s a descriptive word okay okay someone by stanky stanky with an a all right okay oh you uh Beast out there and it’s been Myrtle Beach listening Myrtle myrtlebeast that you’ve been listening to and everything and uh I hope you kiss keep listening after the first of the year we’re going to be coming back and maybe on YouTube where you can even see me and Link I know you get to see him some of you might get to see me so hope you have a merry Christmas and a happy holidays and hope you have a great rest of the year and just keep tuning into the podcast and telling people about it and we love y’all and have a Merry Christmas Yep this is a fun episode dad we wish you all happy holidays thanks for listening and all right Dad love you do you love me I love you too son all right send us off in dramatic holiday fashion towards the Night Before Christmas when all through the house not a creature was stirring not even a mouth the testicles were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that Saint Nicholas would soon be there the pews were nesting all snug in their beds yeah while visions of sex dolls danced in their heads when I don’t belong there arose such a clatter I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter when what do my wondering eyes should appear but a minute you chose and ate brought you reindeer now Dasher now dancer now candy and Vixen oh comedy and keep it on pimp and Blitzen so up to the house top the coursers they flew with a sleigh full of anal beads and Saint Nicholas too St Nicholas he spoke not a word but went straight to his work and filled all his brassiers then turned with a jerk jerk and lay in his Rusty Sheriff bad side of his nose and giving a nod up the chimney he rose he’s praying to his Playboy plane to his team gave it whistle in a way they stroked like the down of a thistle but I heard him exclaim air the Splat out of sight Merry Christmas to all and to all a stanky night yeah [Music] the holiday season is coming up so what better way to get your friends and family together than by playing we’re still good develop with our friends at Spin Master we’re still good is it hilarious entertaining game that lasts in the face of disaster just fill in the blank with the best word to create ridiculous disasters and then compete to write the most positive spin for that terrible situation don’t worry we’re still good we’re still good is now available at mythical.com Amazon.com or walmart.com and select Walmart stores near you stores near you stores near you