[Music] thank you [Music] hey this is dispatches from Myrtle Beach with Charles Neal and my son link from Good Mythical Morning what you up to son well you know Dad I’m just taking it easy I don’t work as hard as you do I mean I’m prone to take a nap you know I might just take a little nap I might have I might have took a little a little power nap right before this and I’m not embarrassed I’m not ashamed of it well I I ain’t had time for no power nap today but that’s all right cause you’ve been dressing up like a leprechaun hey man hey what when this show comes out it’s gonna be Saint Patrick’s Day so we got to dress up and get get green so you told me to wear a green mattress but I didn’t know that I needed to go like full leprechaun like for this thing like you’re doing you got the green Blazers got to be able to get to the end of the rainbow that’s it that’s right that’s right man when I was a kid I used I I I was very intrigued about finding the end of that rainbow never did it though you ever find the end of a rainbow no but uh I’ve seen some pretty rainbows but I I don’t I don’t think that happens when you can you can find the end of them but you know these leprechauns that lucky charm man he ain’t gonna let you find no internet he ain’t gonna let you get to that goal where you can get it from you oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no that’s it that’s that’s exactly what he says that’s exactly how he says it yeah I think the only way to get to the end of the rainbow is by napping that’s why I do it so much are you a napper you said you didn’t nap today but can you get one shut up some days I’ll come in and from working and sit down and take a nap in between doing some stuff and then get up and go go back to work uh so I do take a nap once in a while not every day but some days I got a special spot in my in my house I gotta I got a special couch here for napping but if I had to do it on this floor right here I would do it I just laid just laid it just lay down just lay down like like a like a dead body ready for inspection just I could do it I could do it that’s my claim to fame man that’s my that’s that’s that’s my uh that’s my special skill well I don’t know if that’s a skill or not man that’s a skill for you though I’m good at it yeah I guess yeah well that’s good that’s you I’ll do it right now can take a nap like that and yeah you can’t do that now though oh yeah we got to do the show all right I’m away we gotta do this show yeah so what kind of dispatch you got for me today well I got um people asked about some pictures of what I looked like years ago and I I got one here and I think Logan’s got them yeah because we were talking about your different hairstyles we’re trying to get you a mullet I don’t know what would you call this hairstyle you’re looking Dapper that was in I believe about 1972. man look at that mustache thing looks heavy yeah what do you call that hairstyle back then you just called it long hair that was long hair back then yeah that’s pretty long it was more of a mop top almost type of things what I would call it yeah you got another one I got the only other one I could most of my pictures is still up at Nana’s house but I found one when you and Christy got mad me and you had a pet that’s me and you when you got married 20 some years ago that’s like the rehearsal dinner You Still rocking a mustache back then but you got the short hair yep yeah I don’t know it’s kind of a buzz was it combed over or was that just standing straight up hmm I just think I just kind of combed it back okay kind of let it fluff up a little bit you’ve like to keep it keep them guessing that’s something I’d like to do too you just you change it a little bit over time you keep them guessing and of course now we’re yeah with Nancy’s approval last week we’re headed into mullet territory I just want to keep re-emphasizing that this is a good plan for you I made the call yet but I hey okay I’m gonna make that call go get my hair cut and and get it put in a mullet and see what it looks like I ain’t never had one I’m 70 years old so what the heck might as well go ahead and give it a whirl and see what happens see how people like it yeah I mean don’t do it just just for me and Nancy you got to do it for yourself but oh yeah hey just give it a shot I’m gonna give it a shot see how but hey yeah yes it’s kind of like uh when when I went in the army they just cut it all off it was skint didn’t have none and it grows back so if you get it cut off it’ll grow back and you let it let it grow back and do it back another way so that that’s all you need oh yeah I ain’t too worried about it so that’s right that’s the spirit of Adventure you know just express yourself on your own head I love it it ain’t nothing but hair ain’t number hair you still the same person people are sitting on the edge of the internet just waiting for this mullet just to come to life it’s time for another edition of Myrtle Beach mailbag well I got I got some uh emails from uh Katie M and said what did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion to an optical illusion he got caught he’s like it’s it’s not what you think that that’s pretty close it’s not what it looks like it’s not what it looks like it’s an optical illusion I am masturbating but it’s not what it looks like so yeah I’m not really doing it but I am doing it that’s funny yeah I’m doing it but what I’m doing it too is not what it looks like yeah so Katie had didn’t work Katie we checked that one right on off I hope you’re happy Katie we read it you didn’t give us your full last name I wonder why yep then we got another email from Holly okay full last name here we go what do you call a whale that’s not wearing underpants um in any other circumstance I would just call that a whale yeah they are mammals you know whales yeah so they have butt cheeks I don’t know if next time you look at a whale look look up and there’s there’s butt cheeks because the way they evolved you sure about that yes and dolphins will have butt cheeks well I see somebody down here at the beach once in a while I’m gonna really go out to pay more attention next time to see if I can see them butt cheeks you got to get more you got to get more of an angle on them you got to get the right angle I think you got to be underneath them or they got to be angled it the right way well maybe I just have to go back to Disney World where I can see one up close and check it out then you’re talking about sea world sea world that’s right thank you yeah Sea World’s different we’re not supposed to go to SeaWorld anymore death you’re not no nobody’s nobody’s happy with what they do at Sea World they’ve had to Pivot away from sea life to just shows because because people start exposing the uh the the mistreatment of the animals at SeaWorld oh so there you go I’m sorry to hear that but you sorry for the animals are you sorry for Sea World for the animals yeah good just want to clarify see all right we’re almost back to what what do you call it well that’s not wearing underpants I don’t know Dad a Free Willy ah Free Willy ah I should have got that I should have got that Rachel wilbank sent us one in and says I re I recently started taking a dance class and would love to see a video of you shagging you you have prepped a video here I think so we’re in fat Harrows Fat Harold’s advancing oh man y’all are really in the mix [Music] there’s some commentary look at him go that’s all you gotta do Rachel’s this look up and take some uh just get get you a few few lessons and more of them classes and you and I don’t know if you shag dancing or what kind you do but if you want to do shagging you can pull up and look on YouTube and find a bunch of uh uh lessons where you can learn how to well she just wants to do the steps so that’s it right there it’s basically just below the ankle like all of the work happens from the ankle and below from what I understand there’s a little bit of hand holding but it’s mostly hip ankle and Below action right yeah you just move your feet and kind of pull your partner through and turn them around and do some different things but then you you put it right just dance in a little circle right there well ankle and Below dude Rachel what about the look on your face though because I was also noticing like Nancy has this like bemused look like there’s nowhere I’d rather be um I’m doing a little shagging with Charles mm-hmm and I didn’t what’s your face show me the face that you make when you shag I’m just I usually just smile look at Nancy just that’s what I’m doing I don’t like that yeah just smile you don’t ever get that concentration face where you’re like really trying to make sure you do everything right and then you realize that your face is just totally flaccid no I don’t get that hey my mouth is open a little bit if we if we mess up and do something I usually just laugh and just keep right on going so you got to keep your facing yeah hey you just having fun and uh dancing so it’s just something that you like doing this if you mess up just start all over and do it again just keep smiling and dancing that’s right no if you if you got the right look on your face ain’t nobody gonna know it that’s right seems like you know what you’re doing I hope that helped you out Rachel I said but I got another email from Madison and says I recently got engaged and I am starting to plan my wedding for next year I was wondering what was each of your favorite parts of your wedding okay well you you have a few to choose from oh well you have options at the Wazoo I I’m just gonna go with the with my last one okay that that’s that’s the one that’s worked out and been the best where the part of it was my fault or somebody else’s but yeah let’s go let’s both go with our most recent weddings yeah all right so I I got some I got I picked some pictures out oh yeah the day we were we got married on the beach yeah right there at Myrtle Beach yeah you were still here you hadn’t moved at the California but then that’s beautiful you were wearing all white and she was wearing red my wife hey that’s another story when we when we talked about getting married Nancy said I’m gonna wear whatever kind of dress I want this time and I carried her to Raleigh and I set out in the truck and she went in and then she picked that and come up with a red dress because you know how Nancy she loves red yeah yeah that was it was it was beautiful it was beautiful y’all got to you got to have your ceremony at your favorite place now I I do want to bring up your first wedding because I’ve seen pictures of when you and Mom got married and you were leaving the service it was at Lillington Baptist Church where Nana still goes to church right and because I recognized the front of that place when you were leaving there’s photos of you being covered in flower like being [ ] like an entire bag of flour being dumped on you right as you left the ceremony you and that was Uncle Johnny what’s the story there he’s done passed on now so I don’t we can ask him but he he was just doing something to be mean now Rick so that I mean that could choke you that’s like the cinnamon challenge you could you could take a deep breath of nothing die well you could probably still ask your mama she was one mad woman of course because didn’t you have a reception right after that yeah and you were just covered in flour like you had a black tux on I had to go kind of wash off and get all the flower out of my ears and my eyes and everything else yeah I didn’t have white I didn’t have black hair after that it was all white the biggest thing with uh when Christy and I got married was she was and her dad they were very fixated on the fact they didn’t want any of the groomsmen to do anything to her car like they didn’t want to like push they had heard like horror stories of people using shaving cream to write on the car and how it would remove the paint from the car and so like there was all yeah so like all of the shenanigans were like being there was they had a friend who was like he used to be a Sheriff Deputy or something and like he was guarding the car from any sort of shenanigans and like there was a little bit of aggression there I mean all the groomsmen were like I don’t know this guy really he was like really putting us in our place if we saying we couldn’t do anything we couldn’t have any fun well when me and your mama got married I hid my car and we just drove hers I want two words yeah cause all of your friends and cousins and uncles I mean if they were building off of this this flower approach who knows what else they would have done to your car that’s when I had that 66 Chevy 2 super sport so I I didn’t want it messed up so I had it put it one of my friends took it and hid it and we drove your mama’s pretty little blue cup I’m pretty sure it was a little comet car a Ford yeah it was blue and white yep of course you were my best man in the wedding and uh I I remember you know being back I’ll call it backstage you know the part of the church where like everybody’s getting ready and that I have this one picture of us all with our shirts off like all of our groomsmen including you and we’re like oh it’s like flexing with our shirts off just having a good old time it was a nice win yeah now again I’m not saying that’s my favorite memory my favorite memory of course has to do only with Christy and how wonderful and beautiful she was but I do remember you being shirtless and kind of looking like a like a hairy gorilla walking around I’m gonna look like a haired gorilla cause I I’m pretty hairy that’s right yeah you did remember to put a shirt on before the service started which I I appreciate oh yeah I want going out there and mess up your wedding no I’m not gonna do that I don’t remember a lot of it such a blur you know there was like there was like hundreds of people there it was a big wedding it might have been 600 people definitely 400. yeah yeah it was a big wedding in Kinston like that you know her and her family knew so many people and then all my people coming in from out of town and so like that’s a big wedding and I just kind of felt like oh this is it kind of felt like it wasn’t just for me and Christy but it was for everybody kind of like it felt like it was for the community too because some in extended family which was nice in one sense but like it kind of made it this A spectacle like a blur almost yeah I think that probably happens with most everybody the ones that’s getting married don’t remember near as much about it as everybody else it was there so that’s probably normal but it was a good it was a good wedding it was a good wedding it took you know the wedding took well link we got another thing we’re going to do this week the non-dirty dirty word of the week okay it’s time for our non-dirty dirty word of the week we’re not about sailing anymore because that was a bit no this one ain’t about sailing all right what is it tease hoe tease hole is this one word or is there a space it’s a got a hyphen in between it tease hoe now before you go for the main hole you need to play around with the tease hole there’s an order to all this if the tease hole was on a human I think I would have known about it before now and if I didn’t and it is boy this is going to be quite a revelation so is the tease hole on a person no okay well now I’m a little disappointed yeah well you know I’ve heard of a bunghole which wasn’t originally a butthole it was like in a like a hole in a barrel is it is it related in any way to a bunghole or pouring no if I look through the tease hole what I expect to see one particular thing yeah you you’d see one thing and only one thing yeah is it liquid or solid this part of it is is liquid okay so there’s liquid that you see through the tease hole and you pour something in it you pour stuff in the tease hole you pour a little bit of that tease T you put tea in it no I give up is is the opening in a glass makers furnace through which the fuel is added oh so you pour some fuel in a little hole where it ignites where you can put the Heats up where you can shape your glass that you’re fixing see I’ve I’ve probably seen one of these because I’ve done glass blowing before I tell you that’s a hot furnace they really pumping that tease hole I like that cheese hole I just like saying it it’s a glass blowing thing all right get your mind out of the gutter hey link you want to hear a story but you can’t tell Nana those are the best ones don’t tell Nana I got a a little thing that happened when I was about I don’t know nine years old eight or nine years old and you know Uncle Johnny won’t put a butt three and a half full year about four three and a half four years older than I was so he we were more like brothers and then he has brother uncle Ross and and my uncle you know Uncle Ross was a big man about six five weighed about 249 and I mean everybody when he spoke you listened and you did what he said and you know he worked a public job besides farm and said he left me and Johnny I chore to do one day and we had to spread fertilizer up and down the cornfield Rose okay and and we were spreading it and Johnny said well I got something else I got to go do you just go to the other end and spread part of the way and I’ll go to this end and spread parted away and I I just did what Johnny said so the next day when I left Granny’s house and where Johnny stayed to and went over to Uncle Ross’s house and he said y’all spread all up fertilize out and I I didn’t say nothing and Johnny said oh yeah we got it all spread it out it yeah and they was fertilizer left over and uncle Ross said y’all know I don’t like not being told the truth and he said I didn’t walk down across this corn field and all y’all did was spray it fertilizer app from one end about halfway and the half in y’all didn’t spread it out in the middle of the field and he said I’m gonna beat the [ ] out of both of you and I said oh Lord and he he was standing beside a 130 Farmall and he hit the Farmall in the top of it and I mean he hid it and put a dent in the hood on it and until today he sold that thing he could lay his hand in and Link when he did that I flew I left Johnny there with him I went running I know straight up through the cornfield going there Granny’s house mama’s mama’s house and I said he ain’t gonna kill me he ain’t gonna beat me I probably should have so I got over there and he won’t but just a few minutes I don’t know what he did to Johnny but he pulled up in the driveway and I was standing out in the yard and Granny his Mama come out the door and he told her what had happened what he did he said I’m gonna whoop his ass I’m gonna whip it right now and granny said oh no you ain’t gonna get that pleasure she said I’ll handle this and she sent me out to the switch Bush out there and said God doesn’t break me a switch off boy and I went out there and and I hey this won’t the first time granted sent me to the switch Bush because I was kind of a mean honorary little young and it would do stuff I won’t supposed to so I know not to break a little switch off that weren’t going to be good and Lord link I had a pair of shorts on and she wore my wore me out I had welps on my legs and you can’t do that nowadays but this was back in the 60s where if you grew up on the farm you could get a switching and I got a switch in and I said and then after that we still had to go and put all the fertilizer out yeah anyway I said oh yeah yeah so uncle Ross he you know I love my uncle Ross but when I was a little boy I was I was about half scared of him because yeah he was so big and he was the boss so do you remember oh yeah I I loved uh my uncles which were Nana’s brothers and um but by the time I knew uncle Ross he was like a gentle giant oh yeah you know he could still I mean the size of his hand and just he could he could just wrap it around some piece of equipment and like I don’t like just he could twist something off of anything which is like Oh I’m a I’ma twist this cap off of this piece of Machinery uh it’s pretty amazing and Uncle Johnny was just a uh he was more mouth he did all the Talking if he wasn’t dumping flower on you with the at the wedding yeah I got fond memories of both of them for that like that torturous summer I worked in uh in the tobacco Fields with all y’all when I was 15 16. but anyway yeah he was a gentle giant but I think you might have got off better with the switch than if he would have uh caught up with you before you got to Granny’s don’t you think uh well she could lay a whooping on your tooth I thought you were gonna say I thought you were her favorite I thought you were gonna tell me that like by the time you came back with the switch uncle Ross is gone and you didn’t get it whooping hey well you got both parts right because I was you know I was the first grandson and I was her favorite they want no doubt about it but uh when you didn’t do what you were told to do for uh where they were at you had to uh suffer the consequences so I I suffered them and learned a little and I I learned a lesson I bet you knew I’m 70 years old in all the years except uncle Ross died like a year or so ago uh you you can sure believe I didn’t never tell him another lie no I learned my lesson I tell you I told him that I might tell somebody a field once in a while but it won’t him oh don’t tell Nana well I reckon we’re gonna have to wrap this uh podcast and not before you go pull it one more switch for me Charles you go out there and pull a switch well I got some stuff around here to get a switch but I I’m hoping I don’t need one no more so you don’t need one anymore yeah somebody tells you to pull a switch you can’t pull a little baby one and you can’t pull a huge one you gotta you gotta make a good choice it’s a tough choice to make hey it’s pretty bad when you have to pull one that you know you’re gonna get beat with nobody needs to pull switches today we’ve done a good job we’ve been completely honest well all you myrtlebees I link you you gotta you still got a lucky set of balls so I hope you keep up with what’s going on with them and throwback you’ve been sitting on that one for us quite a while and I haven’t been sitting on my balls I just wanted to clarify that and you haven’t been sitting on my balls you’ve been sitting on the line thank you for saying that day yeah thank you well it was fun having all y’all here with us today and y’all come on back next Tuesday and next Thursday for another one and keep looking up the podcast in the videos and tell your friends about it tell your friends about it and you know if you got a joke a question a comment you’d like to share with me just email me at rather be sagging53 at AOL.com so we’re gonna swing into something next week and see what else we can get into soon I hope you’ve enjoyed the show this week and happy St Patrick’s Day all right thanks Dad good work no switch needed yeah I don’t believe I ever had to use a switch on you nope so I love you love you too yeah foreign