Welcome back to Mythical Kitchen. Today, we’re recreating a meal from the Wild Wild West. But first, this portion of today’s video is sponsored by HelloFresh, America’s number one meal kit. HelloFresh knows that when you’re busy, meal planning and prepping can fall to the wayside. I’m always lookin’ for more time in my schedule to, I don’t know, develop T-shirt ideas or leadership Trevor a bit more, and HelloFresh saves me that time with their pre-portioned ingredients, foolproof recipes, and convenient doorstep delivery. Powering up with protein is also easier than ever with HelloFresh. As someone who regularly eats rotisserie chicken with his bare hands, I love that I can check for the Protein Smart tag on their menu to quickly find recipes featuring 30 grams of protein or more. With HelloFresh, you’re getting seasonal ingredients picked at peak ripeness for quality you can taste. Ingredients travel from the farm to your home in less than seven days, so ya know they’re fresh. To try it out for yourself, go to hellofresh.com and use code Mythical60 for 60% off plus free shipping. One more time, that’s hellofresh.com and use code Mythical60 for 60% off plus free shippin’. Thanks again to HelloFresh for sponsoring that portion of today’s episode. Today’s historic meal is inspired by the rustlin’, rasslin’, legendary figures of the Wild Wild West, and who better to show us around than Calamity Jane herself. Born Martha Jane Cannary in 1852, the gunslinger eventually made her way to the famous outpost of frontier violence, Deadwood, South Dakota. Thousands of miners flooded to the lawless area during a gold rush, hopin’ to strike it rich and often found themselves battling with the harsh elements, gangs of bandits, and indigenous tribes who were reasonably unhappy about them being there. Deadwood was not only teeming with gold, but food as well. The streets of Deadwood had restaurants, bakeries, and confectionary shops, but when Calamity Jane and friends hit the road, they had to eat whatever they could carry on a horse and cook over an open fire. Today, we’re recreating dishes from this historic time period. We got good old-fashioned cowboy chili, sourdough biscuits, and Rocky Mountain oysters. Eureka, that means testicles! I guess it’s time for Meals of History! Who are you? I’m drunk. Hi, drunk. Nice to meet you, I’m dad. No, my name’s Josh. I’m the camp cook over here in Deadwood. I was gonna, hopefully, make you some sourdough biscuits if that would be amenable to you, ma’am. Well, do you have whiskey? I don’t have any whiskey. You reek of it though. I haven’t had it in… Yeah. Yeah. 10 minutes. I’m so proud of you. That’s a new record. The thing is, I know how many fingers I have. That’s how many? So I didn’t need to count ’em. You know, I can’t say there’s, like, 50 of ’em. Let’s sober you up. Let’s make some sourdough biscuits, because as I understand it, this was one of your favorite foods. You loved eatin’ biscuits. Soaked up all the whiskey, made you feel better? Yeah, yeah. Feel better. That’s great. That’s great. You know when you feel better, that’s when you start drinkin’ again. Yeah, well, until then, let’s eat some damn biscuits. All right. So, sourdough biscuits. We actually have some sourdough starter that we made. This was really big out in the frontier. You’re in the Wild Wild West. Cowboys, what was I gonna say? Cowpokes, what is a cowpoke? I don’t know. Cowpokes used to make their own sourdough starter. It’s just water and flour, and then the wild yeast from the environment would actually bloom it. So you could use it to make biscuits out there on an open fire underneath the stars. It’s a romantic life, right? Do you know who I am? I’ve heard legends. I’ve heard that you- Yeah, yeah. What’d you hear? What’d you hear? I heard that you have a bit of a mean streak in ya. You kinda get in a lot of fights. Who said that? No, no one, no one said that. You said I had mean streak. A lot of people enjoy your- I don’t have a mean streak! You don’t have a mean streak. Do you want some biscuits? I’m so sorry. Calamity Jane, rough woman. All right, so we have our dry ingredients. This is a whole-wheat flour ’cause back then, they were just millin’ and grindin’ whatever. Nobody had time for that AP flour. And then we’re gonna do about a cup of the sourdough starter along with bakin’ powder, sugar, and salt. This is exciting. I’ve never made a sourdough biscuit before, and this sounds like somethin’ a hipster restaurant would sell ya for, like, $16 with cultured butter. Well, yeah, everybody was into makin’ those for a while. Sourdough biscuits? Yeah, weren’t they? Were they? During the year or two that we shall not speak it’s name. Can we call it Voldemort now? What? I don’t know. What are you talking about? Do you mean the pandemic? Shh. Are we not supposed to say that now? Is that a thing? HelloFresh is listening. Calamity Jane had a rough life. When she was 13, she basically became the materfamilias. Why did I just use the term materfamilias? That’s weird as hell, dude. But she became, like, the leader of her family at 13. Their parents died. Five siblings. Got five of ’em. Their dad died in Utah. Their daddy’s my dad too. Sorry. It’s tough to keep the continuity of who’s- Of who got parents? Everybody came from somebody’s dad or their own. Listen, sometimes parents die. You heard what I said. Listen, I did have a hard life havin’ to take care of those five kids. The biscuit dough’s come together really nice, and it smells like wild fermented yeast. This is lovely. Oh, that smells great. This is great. I’m just gonna go ahead and press this out a little bit. I’m gonna knead it until it’s just a little bit- My dad was a gambler. Yeah? Yeah, yeah. What did he gamble on, like, video poker? Just everything. Sports, sports gambling? He was like… Yep, he would be like, “I guarantee you, that one rat’s gonna make across the room before that scorpion.” Yeah? What we’re doing here, sourdough starter… Finally, somethin’ got Calamity Jane. Look, it’s the Old West. So, sourdough starter was really important among cowboys, frontiersmen, all that stuff. Boy, I’m hearin’ a lot of boys and men. Frontier people, cow people, I don’t know. A cow person sounds like the end of “Sorry to Bother You” with the horse, you know what I mean? Spoilers. I rode a bull down a whole town street. They would carry sourdough starter with them ’cause then they could make their biscuits, and it was like a prized possession. People were really proud of ’em. They’d kill people and steal their sourdough starter and become theirs. Everyone knows about the claim jumpin’ and cattle rustlin’. They don’t know about the sourdough starter murders. My mom was a prostitute. So five kids, five kids. Me, lookin’ after five kids. What are your favorite early childhood memories? Oh, drinkin’. How early did you start drinkin’? Like, this morning? How early did you start? Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How early? I never stopped. It makes sense. Until now. All right, so we’re gonna go ahead and just add, we have a bunch of lard sitting in this pot right here. And we’re gonna add our sourdough biscuits because you didn’t have an oven, right? You’re out there. You worked as a scout, right? I did. You’re out there. It’s just you and a horse. You maybe got a single pot that you put on a fire to cook your food. Yep. So that’s what we’re doin’ with these. We’re just putting it on an open fire. I was just a cook or, like, a dishwasher out there in battle fields. That makes sense. So you’re out here makin’ these open-fire biscuits. We’re gonna cover the dutch oven with the lid that way it’s actually gonna insulate the heat, and it’s gonna… Dutch oven. Tell ’em about a dutch oven. One of my favorite jokes. Tell ’em about all the dutch ovens you did to Wild Bill. I’ve only done them by accident. Same. Same. But I’ll try and open a vent. You have to do it in your sleep, and then you hope they don’t wake up but you’re like, oh, this will wake ’em up for sure. Yeah, yeah. You kind of smell it and you’re like, oh, it’s like a smelling salt. Oh, it’s real bad. And then it hits ya real slow, and then it’s, like, it’s never goin’ away. Someone did that to me once. I had to wake up, just be like, oh my God! I’ll try and act cute about it. I’ll try and act like I’m flipping a leg over to cuddle, but then really I’m opening up a vent in the sheets. And then you’re like… That is a cool technique! It doesn’t work. It doesn’t? Does not work. I’ll tell you what. We’re gonna let these biscuits cook for about 10 minutes, then we’re gonna flip ’em and eat ’em. Ah. That’s all we’re doin’ today? No, we’re makin’ other stuff. We’re gonna make some balls. Wouldn’t that be funny if you brought me in here, and then I put fake dirt on my face and all we did was biscuits? Well, Miss Jane, we got a very special treat for you. We got Rocky Mountain oysters, AKA cowboy caviar, AKA Montana tenders, AKA huevos de toro, AKA it’s a big ol’ honkin’ bull testicle. You know, when I told you that I rode a bull down through a whole town, you didn’t seem that impressed. I’m very impressed that you rode a bull down the whole town. You wanna know how I did it? Tell me about it while I slice up this testicle and remove the skin. It’s related to all of this. Tell me. Oh God, I can’t wait to hear. So you know how you gotta, like, spank a horse to get the horse to go? Yes. You gotta punch a bull in the balls, and that’s how you get down the whole town square, you know? Right in these? Right in these balls? Yeah, I didn’t cut ’em open ’cause I’m not a psychopath. Just punch ’em, you know? And it’s tough to punch ’em and then get onto the bull. It’s like, that’s the trick. That’s a lovely filet right there. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. You punch ’em in the balls as hard as you can? Or just a little love tap, just a little nut tap? There’s a sweet spot in the middle there. Well, have you ever eaten the testicles? Yep, yeah. So you’re a fan? You like the Rocky Mountain oysters? Yeah, I’ve dabbled in prostitution. I told you about this earlier. You did, you did. But you’re also, queer icon, Calamity Jane. Is that true? Listen, she became a queer icon, but nobody actually knows what her sexuality was. Also back then, probably couldn’t be out and whatnot. A lot of speculation, but there’s been a lot of speculation about a lot of parts of your life. Yeah, well, I think I can safely say if I was anything, it was a bisexual. The reason you were always eatin’ testicles out there in the Old Wild West was because there were a lot of cows, and the cows were raised for meat. And when you raise a cow for meat, you gotta cut off the balls. And so, when the steers would have their castration parties, it’s like a bar mitzvah or a bris but for cows. It is, I brought a cake one time. They would throw these really big parties. The ranch hands would all just get drunk. They’d cut off the balls, and they would, literally, just fry up the balls fresh, and they called ’em nut fries. So that is what we’re doin’ today. We’re cuttin’ these into strips, and then we’re just gonna get, oh gosh. Where did you find that? What? They called ’em nut fries? NPR article. Trying to, like, sashimi cut this. Sashimi cut the balls? Gonna get, like, a nice sashimi slice up there. Oh my God. Okay, this is workin’. This is workin’. Oh, that little flop was weird. Yeah. I heard a noise too. Yeah, that’s floppy. I’m gonna season these up. While Calamity Jane may have eaten these, I have not. Jane, you wanna throw all that butter in that pan for me? And I was very content in my life thinkin’ I wouldn’t ever do it. Look at this. And you know what? Oh God. Toss all the butter in the thing, and then we’ll fry ’em up. Get the sage in there too. Yeah, throw all the sage in. So we’re gonna get the butter rip-roarin’ hot. We’re flouring off the testes. That smell always is good. I’m just gonna put those there. I’ve eaten testicles a lot. I actually really, really enjoy them. They have a really clean beefy flavor. This is dead-ass serious. Rocky Mountain oysters, you fry anything, it’s gonna be good. Let’s crank the heat on this a little bit. And so, wild sage was an herb that grew a lot around the Americas, and so people would just forage it, and then they’d just eat it. Put it in the butter. It’s gonna make it nice and fragrant. We got some good ol’ ball pieces right here. Get a little butter deep fry. Can I poke the butter around with that? Yeah, poke the butter around, poke the butter around. That said, I did grow up more in the city than the country so I ain’t never been to a nut, nut rasslin’ party or whatever you called it. Are you trying to imply that I have? I don’t know, you’re from Tennessee. Don’t they have cattle out there? I don’t know. I lived in the city too. I saw whatever Taylor Swift saw. Yeah, I guess Taylor Swift wasn’t out there- It’s not a far off life I’ve lived. Yeah. So you worked as a scout? Well, first I worked as a dishwasher, then a laundry person, then a cook a little bit. So we are the same. We have the same amount of experience. Same amount of experience. And then, I was like a dancing girl in the dance halls, but my moves were not very good. You gotta show me some moves. Jane, you gotta show me some. And I couldn’t do the can-can ’cause that would require me to put one leg that way. Yeah. Can’t do it. Can’t do it? And then it’s like this. Ah. Oh shit! Oh God! Oh God, Jane got me. So we’re just gonna fry these off in the butter. This smells really good. The fried sage is gonna be lovely, and we’re just gonna cook these until they’re done, nice and crispy. It’s well seasoned. I’m excited to eat this. And again, real taste of the old frontier, you know? And not just the old frontier, people still eat these to this day. Testicles, you know, a whole animal cookery. That’s what we’re all about. We turned a penis into a pizza once. Sir. Yeah? I just wanna say I’m very sorry about kickin’ you. It’s okay. I’ve been stressin’ about it ever since you were talkin’. I have no idea what you just said. I was talkin’ about eatin’ balls again. But I just kept thinking, “Why’d I kick this nice man? He’s a nice man. What’s wrong with you?” Jane, we don’t all always have to atone for our sins. It’s almost like everywhere I go, I cause calamity. Ayo! That’s what I’m talkin’ about. What other things happen in Tennessee? The thing that we’re talking nothing about in this episode. Okay, there was a story I didn’t tell in the stadium food episode, but I’m gonna tell it today. Go for it. We got, like, two minutes. You got two minutes on the clock until it’s done. So a couple years ago during the time, the couple years that shall not be named. I think you can just say pandemic. People know what you’re talking about. Ugh! So in Nashville, people were still goin’ out sometimes, you know, being bad. And the Kid Rock bar, which is called Kid Rock, don’t take my tongs! I need it to cook! All right, oh, you need it to cook. Thank you. You tell the story though. Kid Rock bar. I’ll tell you like me so I don’t miss my tongs. So there’s a guy in there partyin’, and it was too many people ’cause there weren’t supposed to be that many people in the bar, Kid Rock’s Honky Tonk. And so the cops came in and they were like, “Y’all gotta leave.” And then a guy threw his colostomy bag at a cop. And- Tell ’em what a colostomy bag is. They might not know. Nope, nope, we’re not gonna do that. All right. Everybody else has the internet. Not everybody but, you know, these people do ’cause they’re watchin’ us on the internet. Fair. Just make sure you’re not at work. Well, I guess you could be at work if you work at a hospital. Speakin’ of hospitals, Calamity Jane. You were a nurse. I was kinda. I volunteered to, like, help. We always come back, we always come back. Help take care of people. I know, we are professional idiots. Tell me about when you joined Wild Bill Hickok’s Old West show. No, no, no. I’m gonna stick on the smallpox part. Then we’ll get to that. That’s one of the best parts. You are so right. I’m glad you said something, but we’re gonna stay on the smallpox, all right? We’re gonna stay in there. She volunteered, helped a bunch of kids and stuff and was real nice. But she, I don’t know if she ever got the, what is this voice? I don’t know. I don’t if she ever got? No, I don’t know if she ever got smallpox. Have you ever noticed, like, in movies how there’s people tending to people with, like, tuberculosis? Yeah. And then they just don’t get sick. Yeah. Movies where somebody has tuberculosis, and then one person gets real close to them as they’re dying for them to tell ’em a little secret. Then they just never get tuberculosis. What’s up with that? Tuberculosis is contagious? That’s how tuberculosis passes? I don’t know enough about tuberculosis. That’s why I don’t think about these things. I’m pretty sure. I know about frying testicles, and I know that these testicles are fried done, and they’re lookin’ crispy and delicious, but keep telling about tuberculosis. It’s gotta be contagious. I don’t know. You look it up, Annaliese. Why do I sound like this all of a sudden? Against all odds. I sound like Tom Waits. I don’t even sound like… I have no idea who that is. We have Rocky Mountain oysters, cowboy caviar, Texas gold, speedy Willy and the Johnson boys as I call ’em. And they’re done, and they’re covered in brown butter and sage. I gotta say, this looks kinda good. I’m excited to eat it. But first, Oh no. you need a big bowl of Texas red, something that Calamity Jane was known for. Do you think that if I really like this, that I’ll get addicted to it like people in the movies when they eat people? Yeah, that’s how it works. Calamity Jane, we’re takin’ you on a journey down to Texas. ‘Cause I understand you were in El Paso. You met your husband there, you had a kid. Yep, I did. But then I got really drunk and had to go somewhere else. You were always on the move. That’s pretty much how I had to get somewhere else. A lot of what we think of as cowboy culture actually comes from Mexico, even the word buckaroo comes from the Spanish word vaquero. Wow. And so a lot of the culture and including the food, people talk about cowboy chili. That came from San Antonio. There was this big movement. They were called the San Antonio Chili Queens that would cook chili con carne which was, along with tamales and enchiladas, like the first exposure that people in America had to Mexican food, which is really cool. So that cowboy chili tradition, that came right from Texas and the Tejanos down there. So we’re gonna make it right now. And we got a recipe from somebody who popularized it in Texas among a lot of white people. His name was Everette DeGolyer, big oil baron, and he actually started a canning company. So this is his OG recipe. What you would typically do, you’d take a big hunk of meat. These are the chuck wagon cooks that are out there trying to feed the cowboys. Big ol’ hunk of meat that nobody wanted. Sometimes it’d be bison, sometimes it’d be goats, sometimes it’d be whatever. We just got a big ol’ crappy piece of beef, London broil right here. We’re just gonna start hackin’ it up into pieces right here. We got a bunch of tallow melting right there. Calamity Jane, can you take the spices? Again, a lot of the spices are just, you know, if you have provisions or it’s just stuff that you find. So we got some cumin right there. You’re gonna smash it up, get some oregano in there. All right. Put it in that little bowl. I’m gonna keep hackin’ some meat away. So again, before chili was made with ground meat, people just cut the meat into whatever chunks. There are even stories of people makin’ chile con turtle. ‘Cause, again, they were just makin’ whatever they could find. And dried chilies were a thing that not a lot of people were familiar with, say, up north in South Dakota but a very, very common ingredient down in, say like, New Mexico. And eventually, it traveled up and became a tradition. And according to this weirdly specific recipe that says, the meat should be gray, not brown by the time you add the water, and I love that. I don’t like that smell. What’s the smell? I don’t know. Of that? No, that. Just the melting tallow? Yeah, I don’t like that. Calamity Jane, that’s gonna keep you warm in the winter, you know? And that’s gonna cure your hangover better than anything. Tell me about Wild Bill Hickock. I don’t really know what he did. He shot stuff. He’s kinda like me. He was like a showman. He was just a degenerate. Yeah, well, there’s nothin’ wrong with that. No, I love degeneracy more than anybody. Yeah. Well, he says he didn’t like me much but… You think he like you liked you? I know he did. He just did some light ribbing at me, you know? No, he hated it when I talked. That had to happen. But you eventually got fired from his show, right? No, I was a sharp shooter. I was also a storyteller, which is interesting because the lady playing me also got third place in the storytelling competition in forensics. Oh God! I thought you were talking about, like, a biopic. No, you’re talking about forensics again. I did this story- I’m gonna add some onions to the lard. I did “The Frog Prince, Continued”. Don’t tell me about forensics again. Tell me about… I love it, I love it, personally. I love forensics. I just like thinking, like, they cut to, I just hear . That’s your little cut-to thing. We’re just gonna chuck everything in this pot of lard. ‘Cause again, this is just on an open fire Am I done? in the cast iron. Yeah, dump it in, dump it in. Okay. You got the wild foraged spices. I’m just droppin’ raw meat everywhere. Dump it in here, and again, we’re gonna cook the meat until it’s gray, not brown. And then Emily’s gonna talk about forensics again. No, I’m not. I’m just gonna say Wild Bill Hickock apparently just thought that she was annoying. Really? And loud. And she would tell stories around a camp fire. People loved her for this. Yeah, it’s funny how the legacy of people like Buffalo Bill, like Calamity Jane, so much of it was them building themselves up. Like, Calamity Jane wrote a memoir, and just none of any of it could be verified. Nobody knows what she actually did. Well, there was, like, different versions of her depending on who talked to her. Yeah, which I think is really fascinating. And they’d write things all over the place later. This is gray, right? Yeah, I’m gonna say that’s a gray. That meat looks nice and gray. I’m gonna go ahead and I’m gonna add our red chilies. Is that what we’re going for? Everette DeGolyer, who called himself the father of chili, but, you know, I don’t think a dude named Everette was the father of chili con carne. Are deez nuts? What? Are deez nuts? No, deez are not nuts. Do you think deez were nuts? Yeah. It was just meat. This is, like, a London broil that we got from Ralphs. Oh yeah, I remember that big ol’ thing. Sorry, I started my period today, and I don’t know what anything is anymore. Is this Calamity Jane or is this… Oh my God, can you imagine having a period back then? Ugh! We’re gonna go ahead and we’re gonna let this simmer for, like, three or four hours, and then it’s gonna be nice and tender and spicy. And then, Calamity Jane, we get to eat ourselves just a big ol’ Oh boy. hog wrestlin’, cattle wrestlin’ claim jumpin’ feast. Woo! Tell you what! I’m sorry, I don’t know what that was. I just really wanted to do it, and I did it. I got nothin’, man. Let’s eat. All right, Calamity Jane, we got our feast right here. We have our sourdough biscuits cooked in the dutch oven. We got our Montana tenders, AKA, it’s the testicles, is what we have. We got a big ol’ bowl of Texas red chili right here. Then we got some other things. Got some classic boiled vegetables. They had cabbages, turnips, potatoes, whatever. Baked beans of course, always a cowpoke classic. You got a slice of pie. People were bakin’ and sellin’ pies in Deadwood. Then you got your dried fruit and cheese dipped in wax, which they would actually do to preserve it. Sarsaparilla and mint water for digestion. And then, of course, some cowboy coffee, beer and whiskey. Yeah, I brought these ’cause I need to keep an eye on ’em ’cause they gotta go back on the road. Yeah, that’s… These are my travelin’ juices. You’re takin’ ’em home. But before you get your travelin’ juices, speaking of juices, eat some testicles. Let’s jump in. Oh, I can’t wait. Jump in. This is a nice… Smells fresh. It smells like fried food. Cheers. Gotta touch ’em. Yep. Oh, uh-oh. Is that spermatic cord? What is that? Spermatic cord, it’s the cord- Oh, it’s the cord that the sperm comes in through? Yeah, yeah. I think it’s best if we don’t ask those kinda questions. How do you like it though? It’s really good. It’s really good. It is so good. Testicles are delicious. There’s nothing wrong with ’em. I mean, it’s a little earthy. I’m gonna finish this. Uh-oh. I was trying to catch it in my mouth. Catch a testicle in your mouth. The testicle’s too big for my mouth. There we go, a little smaller one. It was on the tongue. Now I have to try. There we go. Hang on, let me see. Kinda tastes like a sea creature. My hat! So she definitely dies in a sad kinda state. She doesn’t really go out great. But she drank a lot. She ended up in a poor house, like, super, super sick. And then, like, two years before she died she said this. I wrote it down ’cause it’s really good. Yeah. “Leave me alone and let me go to hell my own route.” She actually said that? Those were her dying words? Yeah, that’s my Twitter profile bio now. Isn’t that good? Something good, cowboy. Eat your biscuit. Eat your biscuit, eat your biscuits. I’ll give you some good old Texas red. Oh, okay cool. And are you puttin’ it on top of the biscuit? Is that the plan? I’ll put it on top of the biscuit. On top of a- Yeah, yeah. Sounds pretty good. Wait, you want a little float of grease on top? No. Okay. Again, this is real greasy. It’s meant to keep you warm. Yeah. And this looks good. So when Calamity Jane died, she was buried next to Wild Bill Hickock, the guy who sort of liked her. But she loved him very, very much it seems, and when she died, a lot of people came ’cause they all loved her and stuff. It was, like, really sweet. The biscuits by themselves, a little lacking. There’s not a lot of finesse in the biscuit technique when you’re out there on the range, you know what I mean? Yeah. They’re kind of tough, but you soak ’em in the chili. And the chili’s good. It’s mostly just lard, and chilies, and spices, and a whole lot of beef. Woo. That’s a good bite. Get a big ol’ whiff of that. I’m gonna crack open some cheese for ya. I wish Well, I guess you just… There it goes. this didn’t taste like that tallow stuff. What is tallow? Lard, fat, fat pack. Well, then why not just call it lard? Texas tea. Here, I’ll shave some cheese in your chili for you. Oh, that’s definitely gonna do. Yes, this is exactly what it needed. Nicole dipped the cheese in wax herself, and she’s really proud of it. You did? I just wanna shout out Nicole on that one. Where’d Nicole go? You dippin’ cheese in wax? Pretty cool, right? Dang! I know. Fun little technique. You an entrepreneur. The sarsaparilla water’s really nice. What? Is that what this is? Try it, it’s a digestive aid. So this is sarsaparilla root and mint boiled, and you just drink it. It tastes good, it’s refreshing. Ooh. I’ve realized it’s gonna settle just the violent stomach problems caused by this. Well, what is this for, it’s a digestive situation? Digestive aid, yeah. You got that in the evening. You got your coffee. You’re gettin’ all drunk off that. Dang, that’s really good actually. Here, eat a turnip. Eat a turnip, come on. I’m good. Well, I’ll eat a turnip if you’re not gonna eat a turnip. If you’re gonna be rude about the turnip. What I do want, I’m seeing some beans over there and some pie. Have some beans. You know how they’d put cheese on pie sometimes back in, like, the ’50s? Yeah, that’s a weird thing. I don’t agree with it. I like it. And I bet ya beans on pie would be good. I hate this turnip. I know, that’s why I didn’t eat it. Eh, I’ll still eat it. Sometimes I know things. Jane, I hope you’re enjoying your meal. I think you should wash it down with some good old-fashioned cowboy eggshell coffee. You actually use the eggshells to purify the coffee. Sort of acts as like an absorbent of all the particulates in there. Ooh, look at that strong brew. Why are we laughing at this? So strong. What’s in it? Nothin’. I just said strong brew, and it’s the most bleak coffee Oh, why, ’cause it’s super clear? I’ve ever seen. Listen, you’re out there on the range. You’re underneath the stars. You’re doin’ little hog rasslin’, little cattle rasslin’, little bit of drug smugglin’, if you know what I mean. But no, earlier today before we did the episode, I wanted just tea, and I put it under the coffee machine thing, and I forgot to take the pot out. Going back to the turnip. So I just got, like, watery stuff from whoever put that pot in there, and then I put a teabag in it. Not bad. Coming back around on this turnip. I think I really like it. I like this. Yeah. Halfway between it’s like a potato onion. You what I mean? Oh no, she got a touch of the consumption! No, I got like- I think she’s gonna die. No, I just took too big of a gulp, and it hurt goin’ down. You ever do that? Well, Calamity Jane, I hope you had a great time this meal. Oh, I did. Wait, I’m gonna eat that pie with the beans. You don’t want any pie? No, I’m good. I got my turnip, man. I’m pretty stoked on this turnip though. All right, here we go. Pie and all the other stuff. That was a Calamity Jane parfait. Is it good? You sure? Are you sure the pie with the chili and the beans is good? Yeah. Well, Calamity Jane, hope you had a great meal. I sure learned a lot today so much. Oh man. I learned all of the things today, and I hope you did too. I did. I can’t wait to go get on a horse and just ride into the sunset. You know what they say, “Save a horse, ride a cowboy.” I like that. I’m gonna write that down in my diary. And if you’re not subscribed to the channel, please do. If you are currently subscribed to the channel, please don’t unsubscribe. We have other content that you may like. Stop, drop, and roll on over to mythical.com for the new Floor is Lava travel mug, perfect for all your favorite liquids at hot lava temperatures.