[Music] this is dispatches from Myrtle Beach with Charles Neal and my son link from good mythical morning how you doing link I’m doing good Dad how you doing oh doing pretty good pretty good yeah nice and chipper today you got quite a smile on your face you got yeah I got a little surprised for you if everything if you good and everything goes good I got a surprise for you after a while during the show if I’m good yeah yeah dangling the carrot what what is good on this show you know I mean how do you judge that Dad uh I gotta know my criteria I reckon you just said hey if you’ve always you know except for maybe a couple times before you try to you know pull me down a road that I don’t think I want to go down uh you you do pretty good most of the time so but we make it through it I think we do pretty good you’re saying if I don’t pull you down a road you don’t want to go down then you’re going to give me a surprise well if you pull me down the road I don’t want to go down and you don’t hey you don’t want to do that today you don’t want to miss this surprise okay all right I’ll be on my best behavior I swear I had a boy that’s what I wanted to hear that’s right now there’s something I’ve I’ve meant to bring it up last time and I totally forgot and I’m gonna blame it on the headphones because when you wear the headphones it makes me forget about your hairstyle but we’ve got this running Saga about the mullet like weeks ago Nana Nancy gave you the green light and I gave you the green light to get a mullet and then like we talked about last week when I came home we went to Highway 55 when I walked in the door at Nana’s house you were like you notice something different and I was like well you got a haircut and didn’t you tell me you tell me about it tell everybody about it yeah yeah of course it’s it’s grown my hair grows pretty fast so uh with everything going on right now and I ain’t went got it cut like a mullet yet but I’m probably gonna go back and get it trimmed up but I thought you but you told me that day you’re like I got a mullet I did get a mullet see look at that I mean I got a millet goes down runs back down here yeah so you went to the Barber or is it a beautician you went to a haircut you go to a beautician that’s right yeah yeah our hair is too so I told you though I when we when I got the okay from Nancy and from you about getting uh I kind of looked them up on the uh on my phone yeah and some of them’s pretty drastic about getting it shaved on the side and all that stuff and I said oh no and then I got to look in another one and then I found one of John Stamos yeah and and he had one but his hair was still kind of long on the sides and cutting long in the back and I said that’d be my kind of Merlin okay so that’s a soft kind of mullet that’s a weird mullet that is a you’re just dipping your toe in mullet land well that’s what I hey and that’s that’s about as dipped as I’m gonna get all you got to do is make it shorter on top like make it where it can like Spike up it’s laying down on top it needs to point up on top and maybe be a flat top oh that ain’t gonna happen and then it’s longer here and like you and you if you can like put your hands behind your hair and then like poof it forward and your hair comes up over it comes over your shoulders that then you’re really working a mullet um it ain’t gonna get I just gonna be right honest with you it ain’t gonna get cut that short so okay you know well I’m not taking it listen I’m not I’m on my best behavior I’m not taking you down the road you don’t want to go down I’m just telling you in my opinion that if it cascaded further down the back of your neck and made quite a curtain that I could then experience from the front view that would be elated or I’d be elated because and then I’ll let go of the top being too short you don’t have to Brian Bosworth the top just give me give me a little bit more of that she didn’t cut she didn’t cut anything in the back so it’s is still growing so she didn’t cut any of that back there so yeah we’ll just have to see if it gets long enough where I do like you say back there you go you look great no matter what Deb thank you thank you for ordering a mullet did you actually use the word mullet when you went in there I want them yes I did and what was her reaction well as a matter of fact when I called her on the phone to get an appointment because it but you know I was letting my hair grow out to get long like it was several years ago when I was on the cookie episode of Good Mythical Morning I I said I want I I want to come over and get my hair cut like a mullet you know how to cut like a mullet and she just laughed she said oh yeah I know how to cut a mother so she laughed she’s a nice girl that’s good it looks good it’s a it’s a it’s a modern mullet yep yeah you got a North Carolina mullet you need a South Carolina mullet that’s right well listen I I gotta holler out uh to all the Myrtle beasts up in Alaska that sent me all these recommendations about me and Nancy going up there on vacations I I have tried to read all these emails and I have read over a hundred what that I got from up there about telling me you know my you know if I was gonna do like you’re gonna do I you know take a cruise and come up here and plan where you want to go and get off and kind of make sure it’s the time when the the whales are gonna be up here and and then the other ones tell me said get on a plane and come up here and get you a place to stay and then get you one of these small planes where it can carry out the different places and show you all the country and and leave it out for a day or two and then come back and get you and where you can see all the sights and all that stuff so I’ve got a lot of good information about going to Alaska and I wanted to thank all you uh myrtlebeast that’s watching this show and I don’t know YouTube and on the podcast so you know I really I really appreciate you trying to help me out and and lean me in the right direction about how to go to Alaska and go on vacation are you fine with being on one of those little planes that they’re talking about or are you leaning towards the cruise route do you like a little puddle jumper me and Nancy talked about that a little bit and you know my friend Pat oh yeah has a couple of planes and one of them is a glider not Pat ain’t never carried me up in it but he’s carried Nancy but he cared Nancy so which way are you leaning are you are you legitimately starting to make plans I don’t know if we’re gonna get to do it in 2024 or 2025 but we are making plans though the figure figure out when to do it because we kind of got plans for the this year already and all the places we’re going so yeah we’re getting it on the agenda okay and going up that away I love the fact that people are emailing you I hope it doesn’t overwhelm you at a certain point you can just start making your own plans oh well it’s pretty interesting I ain’t never been up there so ride a whale wrestle A Bear ski on a glacier uh uh dog sled yes that might be something I might would do now but no we ain’t gonna be riding the wheel and your next gonna be real warm you know why well because of that long mullet Oh by 2025 that’s gonna be a long mullet you’ll be able to wrap it around a couple of times like a scarf well we might see see advantages to this it’s time for another edition of Myrtle Beach mailbag well link we gotta open up some things into in the mail back this week we got from uh email from uh John Holmes okay it says what do you call a blind deer what do you call a blind deer um so you got a buck you got a doe you got I can’t see though I can’t see blind deer um am I am I got anything uh all right give it to me what do you call a blind deer no idea no idea no idea you don’t have an idea uh hey when he says no idea huh I mean either me me either well it just keeps going too oh it keeps going okay well oh yes it is what you call a blind deer with no legs um well if you can’t see no idea I I would I would also say I have no idea I would be correct okay you’ll know I’d be still no idea yeah and says what do you call a blind deer with no legs and no genitals gentleness uh he could have just put balls on there but he didn’t do that no he didn’t he didn’t that’s that’s a good observation yeah ground venison hmm still no freaking idea freaking idea yeah and that ain’t really what he put on there but I ain’t gonna say it you’re not gonna say it uh what the f word yeah you want me to say it yeah you can say it see you pulling me down the road no I don’t want you to get in trouble on this episode so no no idea that’s it just because you don’t have testicles okay let’s move on okay you got me to say it it didn’t help maybe a little bit I got one from Kevin Reagan it says I’m sitting in the jury pool room hoping to not get picked while listening to dispatches from Myrtle Beach so here’s a jury duty joke okay Okay Kevin let’s see I was summoned for jury duty today but when my name was eventually called prosecutors look me up and down and then immediately dismiss me I asked them why and they replied they didn’t oh God they they asked me why and they replied they didn’t want to rest a hung jury they looked you up and down okay yeah I’m I’m glad he sent that one in I hope he did get jury duty after sending that one in hung jury have you ever been uh on a jury I’ve been called before yeah yeah I’ve been called many times well I got called several times in you know my daddy your granddaddy was a chief of police or either detective or something with the sheriff’s department and every time they called they’d they’d have me over there and they’d say your daddy Lincoln Neil uh that would be correct and they said and they’d say you can go oh because you were in with the law yeah because then though and then when I worked for the prison department and Daddy was still he was the chief of police and I worked for them and when I worked for the prison Department I got called and uh I thought maybe they’d still let me sit on a jury I was kind of hoping I might get to sit on a jury but yeah uh they uh asked me again was my daddy Lincoln Neil and then I said well that would be correct and uh they said and don’t you work at the prison department they knew it they said don’t you work at the prison department they said well yeah been down there about five or six years and they said you can go I was in there recently and they kept calling names and they kept calling names and they never called my name and then they let us go and I was everybody started cheering everybody who got to go like literally it was like 100 people in there and they all started cheering Dad I felt like very anti-civic at the moment but I was cheering too though because you never know how long they’re going to rope you in for you know it’s your civic duty but whether or not if it’s a civil case or a case this murder involved or something like that it could take a lot hey especially out there where you live I know it I don’t want to see I don’t want to see murder photos like could I just say if it was a murder case to be like listen I get really grossed out and Queasy I don’t think you’re gonna want me up there vomiting in the jury box this job I’m scared like that’s just what I’m gonna say next time sir um do you have any perceived biases or any alignments with any anything pertinent in this case I’m scared I’m scared that’s what I’m gonna say I’m scared let me go let me go yeah yeah yeah I’m gonna try to new merch alert mythical just dropped their new GM am theme song sweatshirt the sand colored crew neck features red link and other cast members gallivanting along the music score for the Good Mythical Morning theme song get yours now as part of the cold weather flash sale for up to 20 off our cold weather gear ends March the 31st head over to mythical.com to get yours today I got a pretty interesting question this time from Melissa Lassiter okay she said I’m a mom with two boys 10 and 12. hands full we’ve started talking about having the birds and the bees talk with them and they are mortified I won’t lie part of me think this is going to be hilarious and the other part of me is hoping I can just play this part for the podcast for my kids oh help a girl out see here’s my two-part question do you have any tips and how did you learn about sex but it seems like in no matter how you answer either one of those she really wants you to tell her boys give them the talk directly oh that’s what it sounded like to me you don’t have she just wants to listen to it on the podcast and let them listen to it okay and do you have any tips then if I screw it up she didn’t say she she can fall back and say no that ain’t the way that that ain’t the way this works so but but Melissa I I I’m gonna give it a whirl try to help you out and but the first thing I want it sounds like you are mad and you got a husband so maybe you ought to delegate some of this talking about the birds and the bees to your husband and let him help with it a little bit too cool that’s a good tip uh he ain’t doing nothing else yeah then then just kind of sitting around wanting her to take care of all of it that’s right hey that’s right he’s a man he grew up he was a boy one time he he ought to be able to draw back on something to be able to tell them boys something with it’s right or wrong but you know in our day and time and yours especially they got too many books out there that’s been written about all this stuff and how you tell your kids about what sex is all about and what’s going on and did you read all of them in preparation for this advice oh no I ain’t read none of them and I didn’t read none of them back when I was growing up I didn’t have to I’ll get to that in a minute but she didn’t give me these but I wish she’d hey Melissa I wish you to give me these boys names instead of just 10 or 12. if you want me to talk to them I don’t like to know what their names were but tell us call them Timmy and Sammy Timmy and Sammy okay yep Timmy and Sammy when you know with things going on and I kind of Imagine if you would be right honest with your mother and your daddy probably that you already know more about sex than they the birds and the bees that then you let know that you know but you just wanting to put them through this painstaking ordeal for them to tell you about it to see how her last it’s going to be with them telling you about it because uh the way schools are now and the way the phones and internet y’all probably look this stuff up know more about it than they do so uh or at least as much about it yeah but that that’s the way uh babies are made is with two people getting together a man and a woman and having sexual intercourse and you know that’s out little babies were made just like you were made 10 and 12 years ago Timmy and Sammy say but what is it what is sexual intercourse that hey if you if you don’t already know it’s when a man has a penis and a woman has a vagina and they get together and that penis goes inside that vagina and he ejaculate sperm in there and it ends up making a baby that’s what it is that’s pretty foreign candy yeah that’s pretty Frank for Sammy and Timmy don’t bring Frank into this [Music] I think that yeah I think that was pretty accurate yeah from my understanding of it and the second question she wanted to know was about how did you learn about sex okay if if she’d have been growing up with me would my mama’s brother’s uncle or uncle Ross and Uncle James and Uncle Johnny and Uncle Billy you you didn’t have to worry about having the birds and bees talk with somebody because they told you all about it from the from about the time I was nine or ten I knew what was expected he said it was expected this is what’s expected of your 10 year old hey back when I was growing up you know they wanted you to be ready if you ever got in the situation when you was a teenager that you knew what to do so Hey by the time I was 13 or 14 I knew what to do so your uncles didn’t didn’t they didn’t want you to know what not to do they wanted you to know what to do oh that would be absolutely correct yeah okay yeah it’s a different tone when your parents are giving you the talk and when like your uncles that are just a couple of years older than you were giving you the talk it has a different and they in the intonation they want to make sure don’t let me down don’t let me know we need a full report my you know that Mom just gave me a brochure she worked at the at the um at the health department I got a brochure for everything yep I read the brochure in my closet with a flashlight [Laughter] all right well I I hope the I hope Melissa that helped you uh we’ll just have to see yeah we’ll just have to find out if they if they if they make us proud well we’re gonna do a thing where uh we’re gonna talk about another one of my grandkids this week good I mean dude once you started I thought like well you can’t stop until he’s gone through all of them all right now it’s time for grandkid of the week it’s just like we’re doing an ad this week just like we did before and the one we’re doing this week is um is my youngest grandkid Zoe Zoe that lives in Arizona and she’s a she’s kind of a different grandkid but a special kind of grandkid like all the rest of them but this Zoe is when she came and stayed with us a couple of years ago she had a sketch pad with her yeah and man I mean just freewheeling ain’t have she has not been to school for any of this stuff and she could draw stuff and I’m talking about like animated characters like for cartoons or people and and just draw them out and have beautiful pictures of them Zoe I I’m really proud that you have something that you love to do and you can do so well at it but I think you can carry it on to the next level and learn how to maybe to take some classes in art and fulfill a dream and it sounds like that you would love to do and be able to draw stuff and uh whether it’s in architecture or painting doing paintings or whatever you want to do but sounds like he found a niche and we we’d look granddaddy would love for you to follow it and keep doing well at it so I love you Zoe and you keep drawing pictures and doing a great job with it keep it up Zoe we love you well have I done dad have I been good enough you done good so uh it has to be time for the surprise the surprise is we we went we went back home yesterday to see Nancy’s mama and come back down the road and I picked up your nana and brought her she’s here at the house put her on buddy you know we got the thing don’t tell Nana but we’re gonna do a don’t tell Nana with Nana sit right here with what’s going on is that a good idea all right let’s not even think about it yes let’s do it go get her don’t tell Nana hey darling boy hey he’s gonna put those headphones on you oh okay can you hear me I can hear you well hey darling boy hey welcome to dispatches from Myrtle Beach you’ve been waiting outside the door I have I thought I was coming in here 15 minutes [Laughter] so Dad you this is why you were telling me to be on my best behavior because Nana was sitting out there listening at the at the door yeah I know I can’t hear anyway so uh you you’re down there at the beach huh you don’t visit that often I am I know it’s been a while so what is I certainly am enjoying myself that treat me like a queen well you deserve it so what do you what are y’all doing down there well we had a wonderful meal that you might not like but we had turnip greens and turnips and well every time every time Dad turns around he’s talking about Nancy in those turnips she’s getting turned onto some turnips I’ll tell you yeah those turnips were delicious I don’t know I don’t just I’m missing the magic of a turnip I don’t know something y’all do there I need to get a hold of it I don’t know what you’re doing with these tournaments but all the dad all the women in your life too are really turn up for them here they are and talked to you since I heard that Bacardi passed away so I’m sad I’m sorry to hear that I know I’m sad too I still listen for those little feet to go click click click he’s poor little doggy I mean he was Papa’s doggy so that was kind of part of it that made it more sad because he would you didn’t consider him your dog and then when Papa passed away he said now I’m stuck with his dog that’s right that is what you said we’ll link it me and me and Aunt tasty talked about this and you know when me and she and I were growing up we always had a dog and mama said you can’t have that dog in the house and we’d bring the dog in the house and just love that dog she say I don’t like them dogs I don’t like them dogs but then she turned around she’d be looking after them and taking care of them when we went there so she can let on it she don’t like them but boy oh boy she she can take care of them good just like she did with Bacardi so well you know what Dad she’s Nana she can have it both ways yeah that’s right yeah I can I can tell you A Tale one Saturday I had to work and I said now Charles and Teresa do not let that German Shepherd in the house okay I worked till lunch time and I come home and I said did you bring those dogs and that dog in the house no mama we didn’t bring it in the house I went in their bedroom and they were sleeping on twin beds and there was a dog prints all over their bed from where his feet were wet when they came in I bet he’s forgot that well I don’t remember that but they did it anyway and did you Dole out a punishment no I didn’t push you were the one who would Dole out the punishments more or would you tell wait till Papa got home and you would yeah that’s when they’d get a switch both of them oh but link I’m gonna remind Mama One More Story that we me and TC talked about was when uh Daddy and Clinton had a ski boat I think I was about eight or nine years old when he bought it and I learned how to water ski and then they had it for a while and Mama Can’t Swim still to this day you can’t swim oh paddle a little bit can you swim no I can’t but so Daddy and them talked her into learning how to water ski that’s not the right order you know and and so the daddy they got her in the boat and teaching her how to water ski she had two uh no small life preservers around her waist and then they had one that you put your arms in and she was all tied up and but she finally she got in the water and she tried it but all you could see was it looked like a little head popped up out of the top of it her poor thing sitting in the water but she suffered throughout and hey she learned how to water ski she couldn’t swim but she learned how to board a ski she got up that day you did so it did yeah and then you then you kept doing it after she finally learned a little bit she didn’t have to wear she would go out and wouldn’t wear quite as many live preserve as what she would be a little more comfortable yeah I told her it’s like those video things it’s on TV now I said if we’d had a camera back then took a picture of that we’d have won that ten thousand dollars on the video show with Nana learning how to water ski but yeah those were though I had a lot of fond memories of going out on the boat and water skiing so I think that was cool that was like a a family tradition that Nana you you were even uh guilted into becoming a part of because I guess if you if you’re gonna be a part of the family you got you gotta at least get out there and give it a shot right that’s right she did it I’m not surprised one bit well I’m uh I I hope you enjoyed your I don’t know if I’ll have many any surprises for you as good as having this is a good surprise the podcast so Nana what do you think about it what do you think about this show I’ll tell you what um one of my neighbors said oh yeah just recently you met Donald uh-huh and he said I just think it’s really awesome that it’s dad and son are a team then they’re good we’re a good team and and we would never do a segment called don’t tell Nana where we talk about things we don’t want you to know about I’m just gonna go and tell you we would never do that I’m sure glad it ain’t cloudy here this weekend this week what do you think I’m you’re gonna get struck by lightning we might get struck by lightning and you uh you are a joy to me you know not always I know but you can tell me again my first one yep and we got to love you a long time by yourself four or five years before any others came along and I soaked it all up every bit of it I love going to Nana and Papa’s house I mean multiple times a week for my entire life eating all your peanut butter and your Nestle Quick uh chocolate milk and you Fried Chicken every Wednesday oh every Wednesday got that Fried Chicken so many good memories I if listen if you get tired of Dad if he’s getting on your nerves just tell tell Nancy to take you home if he I know how he can after three or four days I know how he can be he can get on your nerves oh I’m going to work I ain’t gonna be here that much oh that’s good that’s good for everybody yeah that’s right thanks for the surprise dad special guest Nana yeah don’t tell Nana that we had Nana home we’re gonna uh we go wrap this episode up and it was fun having you here with us today and all of y’alls and we’ll see y’all back here next Tuesday and next Thursday for another episode so uh come on back we won’t have one as fast as Nana but we’re gonna have some we’re gonna have a good one so if you got a joke or a question you’d like to share with me email me at rather be shagging53 at AOL.com so we can’t wait to spin your world around again next week so we’re gonna rock it and spin it one more time so just come on back and see us and we love you love you too foreign